摩登家庭 第一季 Modern Family Season 1 第19集: 游戏规则颠覆者 Game Changer

上映日期: 2,009

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: Jason Winer

演员: 阿芮尔·温特 / 艾德·奥尼尔 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 泰·布利尔


台词
Today Sam Riley kicked a soccer ball...
今天山姆·莱利踢足球
and it hit another kid so hard his eye popped out.
狠狠砸中某小孩 他眼珠都爆出来了
Awesome!
帅呆了
Really? His eye popped out.
是吗 眼珠真爆出来了吗
- Never mind. - Well, gotta hit the sack. Big Saturday tomorrow.
-算了 -钻被窝咯 明天周六大日子哎
That's right. It's somebody's birthday.
没错 某人过生日
Not just that. The iPad comes out-
不止生日 iPad要开卖了
on my actual birthday.
就在我生日这天
It's like Steve Jobs and God got together to say,
像是乔帮主和上帝勾肩搭背地说
"We love you, Phil."
"我们爱你哟 菲尔"
What is so great about that doohickey anyhow?
那玩意儿到底棒在哪儿
"Doohickey," Elly May?
"玩意儿" 艾丽·梅
[60年代电视剧角色 天使外表傻妞心]
It's a movie theater, a library and a music store...
电影院 图书馆 音乐商店
all rolled into one awesome pad.
都集成在那神奇的小本里
A library is a place where people get books.
图书馆知道吗 是个看书的地方
A movie theater is a place where people go on dates.
电影院知道吗 是个约会的地方
I better load the beach chair into the trunk.
我得把沙滩椅装到车里
I'm gonna need it for the line in the morning.
明早好坐着排队
Wait, honey. Hang on.
等等亲爱的
You can't spend your birthday in line.
你生日怎么能排一天队呢
Well, not the whole day.
不会排一天啦
I have to be there at 6:00, you'll forget about it.
我6点去 不用你惦记
- Then I'm out by 10:00. - Why don't you let me do it?
-10点就买到啦 -我去排怎么样
Claire, you don't have to do that.
克莱尔 没必要吧
No, I know, but I want to.
是没必要 但我想替你
And that way on your birthday
那样的话 你生日这天
you'll wake up and you'll have your brand-new toy.
一睁眼 面前就是新玩具啦
Okay.
好吧
Well, in spite of you calling it a toy,
你将之称作"玩具"是大不敬
this is shaping up to top the best birthday I ever had.
但明天貌似会超过我曾过得最开心的一个生日
Oh, thank God we don't have to hear that stupid story
感谢上帝 再不用听那故事
- about that place... - It was called the Fun Zone.
-什么地方来着 -在欢乐地带球场
I was 11.
那年我11岁
I hit 10 straight fastballs in the batting cage.
连续击中10个直线快球
Then my best friend Jeff Sweeney stepped in
然后我的铁哥们杰夫·斯威尼冒出来
and took one in the groin.
被我正中胯下
I yelled out "Ball two!"
我喊道 又中两"球"
Everybody laughed.
所有人爆笑
That was when I knew I was funny.
那时我就知道 我很搞笑
Good night.
晚安
B-E-L-I-E-V-E. Believe.
B-E-L-I-E-V-E 相信
Are you sure there's not an "E-I" In the middle?
中间不是E-I吗 你确定吗
- No. It's "I-E." - Good, papi!
- 不 是I-E -好样滴 宝贝
If I can't fool you, then your teachers can't fool you either.
我绕不晕你 你老师也别想成功
I don't think they're trying to fool me.
老师没必要绕晕我吧
Wait until you see what I got Phil for his birthday.
猜猜我给菲尔买了什么生日礼物
I found it on the SkyMall catalog.
天维购物淘到的
Ay. It's not one of those talking alarm clocks?
啧啧 不是那种会说话的闹钟吧
"It's 6:05. It's 6:25. Wake up. Wake up."
"6:05啦 6:25啦 醒醒啦醒醒啦"
Even better. A rosewood chess set.
比那个棒多了 一套紫檀木棋
As matter of fact, before I wrap this thing,
话说 不如我等会再包装
what say we take it for a spin?
我们先来一局怎么样
Come on, Manny. I'll teach you.
来吧曼尼 我教你
He knows how to play. His father taught him.
他会下的啦 他老爸教过的
I'm gonna teach him real chess, not the Colombian version.
我要教他正经下法 不是哥伦比亚版的
We actually use the pieces to play the game,
在我们这 棋子是用来下的
not smuggle stuff out of the country.
不是用来藏毒走私的
I know one Colombian piece you won't be playing with later.
那你也少来玩我这哥伦比亚女子
Manny, come on. Let's see what you got.
曼尼快来 试试你能耐
You'll be surprised.
会让你大吃一惊的
让他赢
Manny's an excellent player, but Jay is a grumpy loser.
曼尼棋艺高超 杰的棋品可不咋滴
He mopes, he makes the face, he slams the door,
输了就生闷气 吊脸子 还摔门
then he said he didn't slam the door.
摔完门还不承认
It's better that he wins.
让他赢比较好啦
Um, I got this.
我来
Everything's gonna be okay.
没事的
It's okay. It's okay.
好啦 别哭啦
- Cam! - Leave me alone.
-小卡 -别吵我
There's a...there's a man in Lily's room.
莉莉 莉莉房里有个人
There's a man in Lily's room!
莉莉房里有个人啊
It's go time.
大棒走起
Oh, thank God.
感谢上帝
It's me, it's me, it's me, it's me.
是我是我 别打 是我
She's fine.
她没事
We must have just heard a neighbor with the same monitor.
邻居的监控器和我们串线了
Thank God.
感谢上帝
Boy, if a spider would have broken in here,
老天 要是有蜘蛛闯入
he would have been in trouble.
你捏个报纸也就能吓吓它而已
家 庭
摩 登
第一季第十九集
Light-up barbecue tongs.
灯光烧烤夹
This was the lame gift I got Phil.
我就给菲尔准备了这破礼物
So, was I bummed to get up at 5:00 and wait in line?
所以5点起床排队 我郁闷吗
No. No, because I was finally getting my husband
不 不会 我总算能给老公
something that he really, really wanted.
买到梦寐以求的礼物了
I was every bit as excited as he was.
我和他一样兴奋
No.
不行
Hey, buddy.
嘿 哥们
I hope you're not upset about our chess match yesterday.
昨天输给我 没生气吧
Hey, what do you say we play again?
再来一盘怎么样
- I'm good. - That's the spirit.
-我挺好 -态度不错
Downloaded this for you.
我给你下载的
It's kind of a kid's guide to chess.
儿童级国际象棋入门
No, Jay. I'm good.
不了 杰 我好得很
Nah, it's not all dry like that. They have fun with it.
下棋不无聊的 可以很有趣嘛
See, you can color in the little players with your crayons.
看 可以用蜡笔给小人上色呢
Now you are making me want to play again.
还真让我兴趣大增
Now we're lighting a fire. Let me toss this out.
有兴趣就对了 我们来打个赌吧
If you beat me, if that day should ever come,
如果终有一天 你下赢了我
I'll give you-
我就给你...
- I want your watch. - Wow, you had that loaded up.
-你那块表 -哟 早看上了啊
Okay. Game on.
成 来吧
Now, I want you to go first.
来 你先下
Now remember, try to open up the middle of the board.
记住 努力清出中路
I'd have moved that guy two spaces.
我觉得你该走两步
More aggressive.
更有攻击性
And you don't want to bring your queen out that quickly.
皇后也别那么早出来
See, now you could've protected that with that,
看 它应该守在原地的
but now you're vulnerable-
它一动 就露了...
- Checkmate. - Huh? What?
-将军 -哈? 什么
How'd you do that?
怎么将的
You will not believe what's going on
你肯定猜不到
at Jake and Debbie's house.
杰克和黛比家出了什么事
-Who? -The people on the monitor. They must live nearby.
-谁 -和我们串线那家 肯定就住附近
So much drama.
他家太狗血了
Okay, Jake told Debbie that he had to work late.
杰克跟黛比说 他要加班
So she called his boss
黛比打给他老板
and found out that he didn't. Busted!
发现没加班 抓包
So she spent all morning on the phone
她就打了一早上电话
crying and crying and crying to her mother...
跟她妈妈哭啊哭啊哭
and said if Jake has to work "late" one more time,
说如果杰克再"加班"
she's filing for divorce.
她就要离婚
That's it? I give you that tasty dish
就这样吗 我端上狗血大菜
and all you give me is a "Huh"?
你就只"哈"一声吗
I-I'm s- Cam, I froze last night.
对不起小卡 昨晚我吓呆了
I froze.
真是呆了
I thought Lily was in danger and I froze.
我以为莉莉有危险 就吓呆了
But not you. No, you sprung right into action.
可你没有 你立刻行动
You even had the cool "It's go time" line.
居然还拉风地说了句"走起"
That comes to me naturally. I spent a year as a crossing guard.
那是本能啦 我做过一年交管员
Cam, I mean, what kind of parent am I
小卡 我算是什么爸爸啊
if I can't even protect my own family, you know?
连自己的家人都保护不了
Just once I would love to be the guy with no fear...
我真想有那么一次无所畏惧
who can stand up and, I don't know, you know, kick some ass.
站起来 该 该出手时就出手
You're so cute when you're angry with your little fists.
你那小粉拳挥得真萌
Just wanna put you in my pocket.
真想把你装进口袋里
Think he's coming.
老爸下楼了
- He's coming? - Here he comes.
-来了吗 -来了来了
- Dad! - Happy birthday!
-老爸 -生日快乐
You guys! That's awesome.
孩子们 帅呆了
- Oh, who are these from? - Cam and Mitchell.
-谁送来的气球 -小卡和米奇尔
Those guys are a class act.
典型的基情温馨
We're making you breakfast.
我们给你做早餐呢
French waffle cakes.
法式华夫饼哦
Let me guess: One waffle in between two pieces of French toast
我猜猜 两片法式吐司夹华夫
wrapped in a pancake.
外面裹着煎饼
Nailed it.
全对
Bring it in here, monkeys.
过来吧孩儿们
Love you! Get over here!
老爸爱你们 快过来
Good enough.
真棒
Where's Mom?
老妈人呢
You mean the greatest woman in the world?
你是说史上最棒的女人吗
She is standing in line at the Apple Store,
正在苹果店门外排队呢
making all my birthday wishes come true.
要实现我所有的生日愿望
Let's see how these bad boys taste.
看看味道怎样
- Oh, no... - Son of a... Oh! It's hot!
-别碰 -老天 烫
- Are you okay? - Fresh out of the oven? That is...
-没事吧 -刚出炉是吧 真是
- Do you want some ice? - Yes.
-要冰块吗 -要
Oh, man! This...
靠 真是...
- Oh, that feels better. That feels better. - Sorry, Dad.
-舒服多了 舒服舒服 -对不起 老爸
No, it actually- That feels weird.
没有 太诡异了
That burns in a different way!
换了种疼法
Don't wash this until we see if I can get my skin back. Okay?
烤盘别洗啊 我皮还黏在上面呢
Let me see it!
让我看看
No! Your party's not until tonight.
不行 派对要晚上才开始呢
You're just gonna have to wait.
你得等等
Just let me see the bag. Did you leave it in the car?
让我看看包装袋嘛 留在车里了吗
- Yeah! - Hey, who'd you deal with?
-对啊 -谁招待你的
Was it a guy named Mehar? They call him "The beast."
是叫莫哈吗 他们管他叫"兽男"
He's a tiny guy. He must've move a ton of product.
矮个子 他肯定忙着疯狂搬货
I kinda love that you're making me wait.
吊胃口哈 我喜欢
You are the best wife ever!
你是史上最棒老婆啦
You are the best wife ever!
史上最棒 绝对的
I didn't get you the iPad.
我没买到iPad
I got to the store and they were all out.
我到的时候已经卖光了
I'm so sorry.
真对不起
I don't understand. My online buddies got it.
我不懂 我网友都买到了
SAT800 and Brobot didn't get there until 8:00.
高考落榜君和机器兄8点才到店里
And you definitely got there before they did,
你肯定比他们早
because you got there at 6:30.
你不是六点半就去了
No, no, no! You didn't get there at 6:30? Where were you?
不不不 你没早去吗 你上哪去了
I set the alarm for 5:00.
我闹钟定了五点的
I got up, I came downstairs, I fell asleep.
起床下楼 结果又睡着了
No! Oh, my goodness.
不要啊 老天爷
What have I done? What have I done?
我做了什么 我做了什么
- I should've done this myself. - Sweetie, you know what?
-我该自己去的 -亲爱的 没事
They're gonna get more in next week.
下周会补货的呀
Next week?
下周
That's the worst thing you can say to an early adopter.
让抢鲜族等下周 你太残忍了
Where are you going?
你上哪去
To a place where birthdays still mean something.
去找个重视别人生日的地方
I'll get that.
我去开门
- Hi, Manny. - Mitchell?
-曼尼 -米奇尔
What are you doing here at...
你有何贵干呀
4:17 on a Saturday afternoon?
现在时间 周六下午4点17分
Oh, I'm just returning my dad's belt of tools, so-
我来还老爸的工具包
At 4:17 on a Saturday afternoon?
周六下午4点17分吗
Don't you have something better to do?
你没别的事可干了吗
- So, were you a big hit? - What do you mean?
-装扮成功吗 -什么
Well, I just assumed there was some kind of costume party.
你借这玩意多半是参加化妆派对嘛
Was Cam the Indian?
小卡扮印度阿三是不
No. For your information, Dad,
不 跟你说 爸
we were actually doing a little construction at the house.
我们确实是在家建了东西
What'd you build?
建了什么
A gift-wrapping station.
礼品包装小站
And we're back.
真够基情的哈
- So, thank you for that. - You're welcome.
-谢了 -不客气
Hey, uh, Dad, do you remember when I was, probably 11...
老爸 你记不记得我11岁时
and you were teaching me how to fight, and then I quit?
你教我拳击 我半途而废来着
Yeah, when you said everything you needed to learn
是啊 你说你要学的招数
you'd learn from West Side Story.
《西区故事》那种歌舞片里都有
- Yeah. - How'd that work out for you?
-对 -花拳绣腿好用吗
If I'm ever in a dance fight, I'll let you know.
哪天斗了舞 一定告诉你
So, yeah- Is the offer, uh, still good?
那 你还想教我吗
Why? What's the matter? You got problems with Cam?
怎么了 你和小卡闹矛盾啦
No! Why would you say that?
怎么会呢 你咋猜那个
Well, come on. I mean, you know, sharing a room with a guy?
拜托 和男人同居哎
I bunked with my brother. I know that can get pretty rough.
我跟我弟弟睡过上下铺 天天暴力
I don't "bunk" with Cam.
我和小卡可不睡上下铺
Dad, I just wanna learn a little self-defense, you know.
爸 我就是想学点自卫术
Show me what you remember.
还记得哪招 耍来看看
- Right now? - Yeah.
-现 现在吗 -来吧
Okay, uh- Gosh, uh- Thumbs out.
好吧 老天 拇指外扣
- Thumbs. Attaboy. - And then-
-没错 乖仔 -然后
That wasn't- That wasn't very pretty, was it?
不咋漂亮 是不
You know what? Maybe it was a little too pretty.
其实 恐怕是太"漂亮"了
That's the thing.
没错
Here it goes.
起飞了哈
Oh! Oh, man!
老天
Buddy!
哥们
Think the problem is, you're not jumping from high enough.
你起跳点太低了 才没飞起来
You should get on top of the garage.
去车库顶试试
Alex, stop trying to kill your brother.
艾丽克斯 别害你小弟了
Listen, guys, I need your help.
各位 妈妈要求助你们
We've gotta find your dad one of those iPad thingies.
得给老爸找个iPad来
So, Haley, text everyone you know.
海莉 给你朋友群发短信
Alex? Facebook, chat, tweet, buzz, bling,
艾丽克斯 Facebook 推特什么的都发一圈
I don't know! Just do what you have to do.
我不懂那些玩意 你要通过一切渠道
We have got to find one of these iPads. Okay?
千万找个iPad来 好吗
Luke? Sweetie, that means stay out of everyone's way
卢克小可爱 别挡路
and stop inhaling the balloons.
也别吸氢气
I'm not inhaling them.
我哪有吸氢气
Stop lying.
少撒谎了
How did she know?
她怎么发现的
Didn't your mama teach you never to take a ride from a stranger?
妈妈有没教你 别坐陌生人的车
Got a little vacation time coming up?
快放假了吧
Have fun on the moon!
上月球好好玩吧
Not feeling too well lately?
最近身体不爽是吗
Maybe you should come see the doctor...
来看看医生
and I'll get rid of it!
哥帮你解决
What's that supposed to mean?
你瞎嚷嚷啥呢
Attention. If you're here for Phil's birthday party,
请注意 参加菲尔生日派对的朋友们
they're gathering in the picnic area.
请到野餐区集合
Phil's birthday party.
菲尔的生日派对
My wife knew I'd be here.
我老婆知道我会来这
She put together a whole party for me.
给我准备了派对哎
Does that really make up for not getting an iPad?
这能弥补iPad的事儿吗
Don't make me sorry I shared that with you. Okay?
我跟你交心了 你可别挑拨我们
See you, fellas.
拜啦各位
Howdy-do!
侬好呀
I just heard the announcement for Phil's birthday party.
广播说菲尔的生日派对在这
Oh, yeah. It's right around the corner.
对的 拐弯就是
- Awesome. - Have fun!
-太棒了 -好好玩
Thank you. Thanks, my lady.
谢谢你 美女
Ice-cream cake? Ice-cream cake's good.
冰激凌蛋糕吗 真棒
Happy birthday, Phil!
菲尔 生日快乐
This is awesome!
太帅了
- Happy birthday! - Happy birthday!
-生日快乐 -生日快乐
Happy birthday, sweetie.
生日快乐 宝贝
- Happy birthday. - Have a really good birthday.
-生日快乐 -玩得开心呀
- Did you see the cake? - Oh, yeah. It's great.
-看到蛋糕了吗 -超棒的
Hello?
No, that's fine, I'm just putting the baby down.
没事 我哄小孩睡觉呢
Okay, that's Jake. He's the one that's having an affair.
那是杰克 出轨的那个
- I know. - Yeah, I can do it tomorrow night.
-我知道的 -明晚没问题
I'll just give my wife some excuse.
向我老婆编个谎就行
Men are pigs.
混蛋汉子
- I don't really have a choice, do I? - Yeah.
-那也没办法 -有呀
You could not cheat on her! How about that?
别劈腿不行吗
Because it has to be a surprise.
我得给她个惊喜嘛
When she hears me speaking Italian to her grandmother,
等我跟她外婆说起意大利语
it'll be worth all this sneaking around.
我偷偷摸摸这么长时间也值了
Lily, I had it backwards. He's wonderful.
莉莉 我猜错了 他是个好男人啊
Don't worry. I'll just tell her I'm working late.
别担心 我就说要加班
No, Jake, don't do that.
不行杰克 别那么说
That's the worst thing you could do.
说加班你就惨了
Buonanotte.
晚安啦[意大利语]
Oh, no, Lily, what are we gonna do?
坏了莉莉 我们要怎么办
We have to fix this.
得帮帮他们啊
Okay, Mitchell, I'm gonna teach you
米奇尔 我就教你几招
a couple of basic Brazilian jiu-jitsu moves.
基本的巴西柔术吧
Now, just attack me.
现在 来打我
I'm sorry- What?
什么
Take any deep-seated anger you may have,
释放你内心的怨恨
get a running start and come at me.
冲过来打我吧
Dad, I don't have any deep-seated anger.
老爸 我没记恨过你啊
Remember that Halloween when
记得那次万圣节
I wouldn't let you go as Olivia Newton-John?
我不让你扮奥利维亚·纽顿-约翰吗
You see what I did? I used your momentum against you.
懂了吧 借力打力
I learned this choke from the Gracie brothers.
格雷西柔术创始人教我的
It's called the lion killer- mata lella.
这招叫"伏狮锁"
- Okay. - Now try to get out. Try to get out.
-懂 -试试挣脱 挣一下
- See? - I can't.
-难不 -挣不开
Yeah, all right. Now-
挣不开就对了
- Passing out... - See, the beauty of this is,
-我要晕了 -这招就厉害在
you don't have to make the first move.
你不用贸然攻击
You know, chances are your opponent's gonna be overconfident.
对手可能会轻敌嘛
He's gonna think you don't know anything.
以为你是个菜鸟
Basically, he's being suckered into thinking-
反而被骗 就显得很二
Manny. Manny, that little bastard, he hustled me.
曼尼 曼尼这小子耍我
Oh, crap.
Ah, crap. Mitchell!
糟了 米奇尔
Oh, crap. All right. Come on. Breathe.
得 吸气 加油
Attaboy. You all right? Coming around.
好小子 快醒来
- Why am I on the floor?- Come on, Mitchell.
-我怎么趴地上了 -醒过来 米奇尔
Haley, I just struck out again.
海莉 我又没买着
Please tell me you have some good news.
拜托给点好消息
Okay, so The Grove just got a new shipment.
格氏又进了一批货
I'm texting you the directions now.
我短信你地址
Oh! Okay, that's good. That's good. That's good.
很好 很好 真棒真棒
I'm there. I'm on that.
我这就去 立刻滚去
That kid stole my watch.
那小子把我手表骗走了
- Huh? - What?
-啥 -什么
He hustled me at chess.
他骗我跟他下棋
I thought you promised you were gonna let him win.
你不是保证让他赢吗
- I did the first time. - Wait a minute. You're in on it too?
-我让他赢了一盘 -等等 你也知道
Manny, go and get dressed for the party.
曼尼 换派对衣服去
Do I have time for a steam?
能洗个澡吗
- Yeah, but a quick one. - Okay.
-行 但要快 -好
Why tell him to lose to me?
干嘛叫他输给我
Because you're like a baby when you don't win.
你一输棋就发小孩脾气
With the kicking and the eyebrows...
乱踢东西 皱眉头
and the angry eating of the sunflower seeds.
还狂吃瓜子
Actually, that's not true.
不是那样的
I don't mind losing to a chess genius, which Manny obviously is.
输给小天才 我怎么会不服气呢
Chess genius? He's not even as good as I am.
他天才 他还没我下得好呢
You're not that good in chess.
你下棋不怎么样啊
- I beat you on our honeymoon. - Or did I let you win?
-蜜月那次输给我了啊 -我让你的
You didn't let me win.
你才没让我
Why would I sacrifice my queen for your pawn, Jay?
我干嘛要把皇后送入你的魔爪 杰
Stop saying that.
别哼了
Luke, honey, hi. What's going on?
卢克 宝贝 怎么了
They guy came with Dad's cake,
老爸的蛋糕送来了
but just so you know, it's missing a piece.
可它缺了一块
- Luke, did you take a bite out of your father's cake? - No.
-你偷吃老爸蛋糕了吗 -没啊
- Stop lying, Luke. - I'm not lying.
-别撒谎 卢克 -我哪有
By the way, I used your credit card to pay him.
哦对 我用你的卡付了钱
Is that all right?
没问题吧
Oh, no, that's fine.
没问题啊
Whatever. That's why I left the wallet there.
我把钱包留给你们就是为这个的嘛
Oh, my God.
上帝啊
Oh, my God!
上帝啊
I left the wallet there! I left the wa-
我把钱包留家里了
Your poor father.
你可怜的老爸
All this running around,
我们乱成一团
and he's gonna think nobody cares about him on his birthday.
他肯定以为没人在乎他生日
More cake?
再来点蛋糕吗
Why not, Little Phil?
行啊 小菲尔
I got no place else to go.
反正我也没地儿去
Sir! Sir! Sir, hi. Excuse me.
先生 先生 打扰你了
Um, yes. I know this is highly unusual,
我有点唐突
but I need your help to save a marriage.
但我需要你帮忙 挽救一段婚姻
There is a couple in this neighborhood...
这附近有对夫妇
that is about to get a divorce for a simple misunderstanding.
就因为一个小误会 快要离婚了
Their name is Jake and Debbie.
他们叫杰克和黛比
And I know you've taken an oath...
我知道您宣过誓
to not tell people where other people live,
不能泄露他人住址
and I respect that,
我也尊重您
but maybe we could work out some sort of
但我们能不能想办法
super secretive spy signal,
设计一套暗号
where if you scratch your left ear,
比如你挠左耳
you know, maybe they live on the left,
暗示我他们住在左手边
and if you scratch your right ear, they live on-
如果挠右耳 就是...
They live right here.
就住这
This conversation never happened.
我不会说出去的
- Sorry. - Oh, thank God!
-抱歉晚了 -感谢上帝
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
谢谢你 谢谢
Dad just put me to sleep.
老爸把我整晕了
The hunting story.
他给你讲催眠的打猎故事了吧
Hmm. No.
不是啦
Oh, my gosh, no. You can't cut the line. Sorry.
老天 你可不能插队 对不起
- I was here. - Uh-uh.
-我本来就排这 -哪有
I-I've been here for an hour and a half
我排了一个半小时
and you haven't been, so you cut the line.
都没看见你 你这是插队
- Whatever. - Whoa. Excuse me, sir.
-你管我 -这位先生
I don't think you understand.
您好像没弄清楚
You're not getting in front of us.
你不可以插队的
Calm down, gingerbread.
淡定点啦 红毛小子
- Are you gonna move or not? - No.
-你走还是不走 -不走
Oh, no.
别啊
Then you leave me no choice.
那我别无选择
Oh, my God.
上帝啊
Go to sleep.
晕吧你
Go to sleep. Go to sleep.
快点 快晕过去
No.
没晕啊
- Mitchell, what are you doing? Get off of him. - Shut up.
-米奇尔你干什么 放开他 -闭嘴
- He's about to go to sleep. - No, I'm not.
-他就要晕了 -才没有呢
Okay, folks. Break this up. You three- out of line.
请不要打架 三位请出列
Oh, no. I'm sorry, sir. I didn't have anything to do with this.
抱歉先生 我和他们无关
I'm just waiting in line to get an iPad.
我只是排队买iPad而已
I don't even know this guy.
我都不认识他
Oh, my God. I need your credit card.
老天 我得用你的信用卡
- He's the problem. - Shut up! You're supposed to be asleep.
-是他挑事 -闭嘴 你怎么还不晕
- It's okay. I have it. - Get off!
-没事我拿到了 -放开我
- I've got it. - What?
-我拿到了 -什么
I've got your card. I'm good. No, I'm good.
你的卡 我没犯事 没犯事
I'm good. I'm here. I'm here!
我排在这呢 这儿
I've gotta get my husband an iPad!
我要给我老公买iPad啊
Key to a good birthday? Low expectations.
生日快乐的秘诀就是 别期待太多
Thought I was getting an iPad. I was wrong about that.
我以为能有iPad 期待错了
Thought I was getting a surprise party at the batting cages.
以为球场有惊喜派对
Sorry, Big Phil.
不好意思 大菲尔
Guess when it comes right down to it,
我觉得 说到底
we're all just Jeff Sweeney taking a fastball to the plums.
我就跟被踢中蛋蛋的杰夫·斯威尼一样
Hey, um, Dad, your cake fell off the counter,
老爸 蛋糕掉地下了
but Uncle Cam's trying to fix it.
但小卡舅夫正补救呢
He won't.
他只会偷吃掉
And the pizzas never showed up.
披萨一直都没送来
And they won't!
没来就没来呗
Hey, balloons.
基情小气球啊
Fine. I guess we'll never know.
得 反正没法知道了
Or we can find out right now.
要么现在见分晓
Yeah, Manny, give me the chess set.
曼尼 棋盘给我
- Oh, it's a chess set. - Yeah. You'll get it later.
-送我棋盘啊 -待会再给你
We got something to settle now.
我们得决一死战
- Go in there. - Happy birthday, Phil.
-往里走 - 生日快乐 菲尔
Happy happy.
一定快乐哟
Is that Claire's baked brie I smell?
好香 克莱尔烤了干酪吗
No.
Oh, Cam, Cam, you'll never believe what happened.
小卡小卡 你不会相信的
- Happy birthday, Phil! - Sure!
-生日快乐 菲尔 -当然啦
You'll never believe what happened.
你绝不会相信的
I got in trouble for fighting.
我和人打架了
And we saved a marriage.
我们还挽救了一段婚姻
- Well, this is the best day ever. - It really is.
-今天真是史上最棒 -没错
Ain't it though?
可不是嘛
Look at this, papi, huh?
宝贝 看我这招
Easy.
淡定
You can't sing "We Are the Champions"...
别唱《冠军之歌》[皇后乐队名曲]
without your queen.
你的皇后都没了
Damn it! Listen, I lose and I burn this house down!
该死 要是我输了 我就烧掉这房子
- Ah, but look at this... - Honey, honey.
-看这儿 -亲爱的 亲爱的
What are we doing? This is ridiculous.
我们闹什么呢 太滑稽了
One of us is gonna win the game,
我们总有个要赢
the other's gonna feel lousy, and we both lose.
另一个就不爽 只会两败俱伤
Yeah, just leave my birthday present on the floor.
成啊 把我的礼物扔地上吧
That's my girl. She had me.
好老婆 她已经赢定了
There was no way I could win. I knew it.
我没戏了 我知道的
I'm just glad she didn't know it yet.
幸好她不知道
Two moves, and then-
只需两步 就能杀他个...
I'm a very good chess player.
我可是个下棋高手
But I'm a better wife.
但我更是个好老婆
- Hey, did you get it? - No.
-买到了吗 -没有
- How's your dad? - Acting weird... er.
-爸爸怎么样 -古怪 更古怪了
- Hey, wife. - Honey, hi.
-老婆 -亲爱的
- Um, listen... - Mom.
-是这样 -妈妈
Yeah, Luke, hang on one second.
卢克 等会再说
Honey, it's okay. I don't feel things anymore.
老婆 没关系啦 我已经没感觉了
- But, sweetie, I want you to feel... - Mom!
-可我想让你... -妈妈
Luke, I'll be with you in just a second. Where are you going?
卢克我一会就来 你上哪去
Just heading out to the yard to get a shovel for my cake.
去院子里拿铲子 清理我的蛋糕
- Mom. - Luke, what do you want?
-老妈 -卢克你要干嘛
I went on Dad's computer,
我上了老爸的电脑
contacted some of his geek friends,
联系了他的宅男网友们
told them that he was dying
说老爸快死了
and his last wish was an iPad.
有个iPad才能瞑目
Luke, what have I told you about-
卢克 我怎么教你的
One of them felt so bad, they brought over an extra.
有个人很同情 就送来台多余的
Oh, my God. You got it. You beautiful little liar!
上帝啊 你拿到了 你这个乖仔撒谎精
Here comes Dad.
老爸回来了
Who wants some cake?
谁想吃蛋糕呀
I used to, but I don't desire food any-
我之前想 可我不想吃...
Oh, my God. You got it!
老天 你买到了
All this time I said I didn't care,
我说了半天不在乎
but I do care. I care so much!
可我真想要 超想要的
- Do you want to blow out the candles? - Yes.
-想吹蜡烛吗 -好
Go on. Go.
吹吧 使劲
It did not just do that!
居然真能吹灭
- Yes, it did! - Honey!
-是真的 -老婆我爱你
Oh, who's ready for the first day of the rest of their lives?
瞧这刚出炉热乎乎的iPad啊
- Phil, happy birthday! - Look at this!
-菲尔 生日快乐 -看啊
- Can I touch it? - Yeah, not so hard, but touch it.
-我能摸摸吗 -摸 别掐 摸摸
Touch it, but don't touch it. Touch it, but don't touch it.
摸它 别摸 摸 别摸
I'm so sorry I ever doubted you.
对不起 我不该怀疑你
I love you.
我爱你
Thank God that guy came over.
感谢上帝送来了那个人
What did he say his name was?
他叫什么来着
He didn't. Must be an angel.
他没说 肯定是位天使
Did you hear that? I'm an angel.
听到了吗 说我是天使呢
- Or some creepy perv. - Yeah.
-或者是个变态 -对啊
How did he know? Eww.
他怎么知道的 恶心
- Maybe I should call the police. - You should call the police.
-我该报警吗 -没错 报警吧
- I'm gonna call the police. - And they lived happily ever after.
-这就报 -他们从此幸福地生活在一起
No, Cam. Where are you going? It was just getting good.
别啊小卡 你上哪去 才刚开始精彩
I want- That's my program.
我想听 多好的节目
I love you.
我爱你
- I love you too, honey. - Oh. Okay.
-我也爱你 亲爱的 -好吧