Steaks will be ready in five minutes.
You're destroying those things.
- Ay, Jay, leave him alone. - No, I'm sorry,
-杰 少点意见 -恕难从命
but that cow has suffered long enough.
Hang on. Dinner's ready in five minutes.
Coach wants us to practice layups.
They are deceptively hard- a curious mix of dance and strength.
- You're making it lame again. - Sorry.
- Ay, Dios mio, that coach. - Oh, I hate that guy.
-天啊 那个教练 -我讨厌那家伙
He seems to have the kids motivated.
Oh, Dad, you haven't seen him.
He taunts the kids. He's abusive.
Listen, if this was a Colombian soccer league, long time ago,
one of the kids would have taken that guy out and-
A coach is supposed to ride the kids hard.
- Phil, help me out here. - He's a mean man.
-菲尔 你说句话 -那家伙过分了
-Oh, you're such a woman. - Come to the game. You'll see.
This guy's a real motherscratcher.
Pardon the language, Gloria.
He better cool it,
or I'm gonna introduce him to the Captain and Tennille.
Sorry we're late. I was at work.
不好意思 迟了 我工作缠身
- Oh, he loves to say that. - And happy barbecue.
Oh. Since Mitchell is between jobs,
I've taken a part-time job at a greeting card store,
Plus, with my discount,
we're saving a fortune.
How is spending a ton of money on greeting cards saving us a fortune?
It's really not. Look it up.
2.95. 2.95. 4.95.
2.95美元 2.95美元 4.95美元
- Forty percent off. - 2.95.
-3.95. - Forty percent off. Forty percent off.
-3.95美元 -六折 六折
Mitchell, I got this golf buddy of mine.
Great guy. Super successful. You two should talk.
人不错 事业有成 你们找机会谈谈
It could mean a job for you.
Oh, thanks, Dad, but I'm-
谢了 爸 但是我
I'm not really looking for anything right now.
- But- - Yeah, that's right.
-不过 -对 没错
With me bringing home the bacon,
Mitchell doesn't have to rush into anything.
Yeah, I know you have all that greeting card "Screw you" Money,
but, uh, talk to the guy?
He's expecting your call in the morning.
Dad, I appreciate it, but in the future- I can't stand this.
-爸 我心领了 但以后 -受不了了
I am sorry, but I-
No. Those steaks have been done for five minutes.
I'm taking 'em off the grill.
I'm sorry. I know how it feels
to have him stick his nose where it doesn't belong.
No biggie. It's just Jay being Jay.
But one day I'm gonna be a grandfather,
and then everybody better hide their meat.
I hate it when you do that.
- Who's he? - It's Charlie Bingham.
He's the guy that my dad wanted me to call.
I googled him. Look.
Oh, he owns Earthgear Apparel.
I have their ski pants.
Really? You don't- You don't ski.
是吗 你又 你又不滑雪
I have cargo pants and I don't work at the docks.
God, I feel like such a slacker.
I mean, he has done so much for being so young.
Okay, look. He's opened up a dozen
environmental foundations and conservancies.
- Wow. - So, you gonna- you gonna call him?
I don't know. I mean, you know,
I sort of promised myself and you...
that I'd take a little time off, and-
- And you are loving your time off. - Totally.
I am losing my mind.
As much as I love Lily-
which is, you know, more than life itself-
I am- whoo- not cut out to be a stay-at-home dad.
No, but it's Cameron's turn.
It's Cameron's turn to be out in the world...
interacting with other grown-ups while I get to stay at home...
and-and plot the death of Dora the Explorer.
Like to fill her backpack with bricks
and throw her into Candy Cane River.
So, I don't know. Should I- Should I call him?
我不知道 我应该 应该打给他吗
I don't know. Maybe just to get your dad off your back.
- Yeah. Yeah. - I mean,
-没错 没错 -我觉得
because the last thing I want for you is to take a job right now.
I am loving our life.
I am in a really dark space.
Being away from my Lily is literally torture.
And I can't pressure Mitchell,
but I really, really, really just want him to get a job...
so I can go back to being a stay-at-home dad/trophy wife!
Come on, ladies! Move it!
加把劲 姑娘们 跑起来
Goodness gracious! Turtles run faster!
Could you run any slower?
I dare you to run slower!
- You see? - He's just trying to light a fire.
Oh, I'll light him on fire!
Why do I always have to come to these things?
Because you love your brother.
Why don't you make him come to my orchestra concerts?
Because we love your brother. Good job, Luke.
Delgado, you're killing me, man!
I love you, Manny, no matter what!
Okay, well, I'll let you know. Right.
好的 我再给你回复 对
Uh, so, Charlie Bingham just invited us over...
to his beach house for a little get-together.
Oh. Uh, what did you say?
I said I'd check with you.
I mean, what do you think?
Well, I think it'd be rude not to hear him out.
- Yeah. I mean, yeah. You're probably right. - Yeah.
-没错 是这样 -没错
And don't worry. You know, I'm not gonna take any job.
I just miss... my grilled cheese sandwiches!
You're doing great, Luke-
if your goal is to suck!
- Phil, you- - I'm on it.
-菲尔 你 -我出手
- Okay. - Wait for me.
- Hey, Coach. - Yeah?
Uh, look. We appreciate your passion,
but some of us are worried that
the yelling is getting counterproductive.
I got this. Come on, stupid!
我心里有数 跑 笨蛋
No, you don't "Got this." What you got is a bad attitude.
不 你没 你有的只是烂态度
I happen to be the stepfather of-
Doesn't matter who. What you need to start doing...
is a little more coaching and a little less yelling.
'Cause if I hear you call one of these kids stupid again,
I swear to God, I'll throw a shoe at your head.
Screw it. I don't need this.
You think you can do a better job?
Jay, you know, I was handling it.
Yeah, I saw how you broke out Peaches and Herb.
It's the Captain and-
Okay. So, your old coach had to leave for a little while.
Why? Is he sick?
- Yes. He's very, very sick. - Is he going to die?
-对 他病得很严重 -那他会死吗
Everybody dies, boys. Let's focus on what's important.
人皆有一死 孩子们 现在关注当下
Our next game is in one hour.
We are going to go from being five fingers to being a fist.
- How does that sound? - Great.
- I can't hear you. - Great!
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!
All right, gentlemen. I talked to the referee. I'm coaching.
各位 我刚和裁判谈过了 我来执教
- Oh, really? 'Cause I- - Phil, I coached football.
-但是我 -菲尔 我以前教过橄榄球
Jay, I actually coached basketball.
I think I can get these guys-
Relax. You've already got the assistant job.
Now you think you can round us up some waters?
- Yeah. - Go ahead.
Gentlemen, this is what I need.
I want you to hit 'em, and I want you to hit 'em hard.
Father-in-laws are tough,
because you can't let 'em push you around...
and you also have to show them respect.
It's like walking a tightrope.
Which, by the way, I can do, because I went to trapeze school.
顺便提一下 我能走 因为我练过
Did Jay? I doubt it.
All right, when you back into-
Honey, I'm gonna take off.
- I'm gonna buy Alex some clothes. - Okeydoke.
How come you're not coaching?
'Cause your dad coached football.
And I am going to make it up to you tonight.
- And I'll be thinking of your dad while you do. - Mmm.
- Hey, Phil. - Hey.
Ay. Great. Your dad coached football.
Ah. A fellow victim.
Thank you again for taking care of Lily. I know it's last-minute.
We'll probably just stick around for a few minutes.
You know how fussy she gets when we pass her off, so-
- Oh. She seems fine. - Yeah.
Ay. I think she's getting used to
being away from you now that you have the new job.
Mwah! So proud of you.
- We need to talk. - Okay. What happened?
-我们得谈谈 -好 怎么了
but your words of encouragement
encourage the other kids to make fun of me.
I won't say anything else on the next game. Promise.
We both know that your Latin blood makes that impossible.
I think it would be better if you didn't come to the next game.
- I hate our house. - I know.
What's- What's this thing?
I don't know, but it's fancy.
Stop- Stop playing with it. Come on.
别 别在上面跳 来
Just- Don't break it.
- Hey, Mitchell! - Yes.
- Charlie Bingham. - Nice to meet you.
- Hi. - This is my partner, Cameron Tucker.
- Pleasure. - Cameron.
So, we just went ahead and
parked on that round thingy in the driveway.
- Is that- That's fine, right? - No problem.
-这样 没问题吧 -没问题
It's a turntable, so you don't have to back out.
You have a car turntable and you're wearing rubber.
You're like Batman.
Turn the music down!
Killer waves today. You guys surf?
Um, only for bargains on the Web.
-Hi. - That's Jolie.
She's head of my Europe division.
She cheats at poker. You do.
And that's my girlfriend, Jenny.
She makes a hell of a margarita. Want one?
- Absolutely. - Oh, not right- Okay.
-当然要 -不 现在 好
Everybody, Mitchell Pritchett and his partner, Cameron.
Business partners. Mergers and acquisitions.
- I'm kidding. We're gay. - Stop talking.
-开玩笑啦 我们是同志 -别多话
When things are relaxed, I'm great in social situations.
I would have fit in at the Algonquin Round Table.
But when the stakes are high, I get a little tense.
I'd be the guy that would knock over the round table.
Then Dorothy Parker would make a quip,
James Thurber would laugh,
and then I would end up leaving, crying.
- How long you been on the lam? - What?
Honey, you are looking around like the feds are after you.
No, I'm not. Let's just get this over with.
Oh, no. It's them.
Oh! Oh, you know those girls from school.
- Hey! - Let's go! Over here.
-嘿 -走 这边
- What- What is your problem? - Nothing.
-你 你这是怎么了 -没什么
I'll meet you at the car in an hour.
Please, Mom. Please.
求你了 妈 求你了
- Hi, Jenna. - Hi.
-嗨 珍娜 -好
And just like that- my baby girl became a teenager.
She entered that dreaded phase
where my very existence embarrasses her.
I-I think I can help.
You're not your mom.
Wow. That's your mom.
Oh, I just got chills.
So, first off, I'm a fan.
- Saw you in court once. - Seriously?
Yeah. Mayhew versus Propyltech.
- You are a good lawyer. - I don't know.
If you'd handled my divorce,
this house would be twice as big.
Oh, he's better than good. Try winning an argument with him.
- Last night I wanted to have Indian food- - And we're talking again.
Top of your class at Cornell and Columbia Law.
Had your pick of jobs,
but instead chose to work in environmental law- until last month.
Well- And he used to be a really great figure skater.
- Why'd you quit? - His sister lost interest,
- and then there was- - He means my job.
Could tell me about figure skating too.
Um, well, it was- She did lose interest.
- That's enough. - Okay.
Ay, que linda. Ay, que linda.
Oh, my gosh. I didn't know you guys were gonna be here.
I had enough basketball for one day.
Oh, I know. Come here, sweetie.
可不是嘛 来 抱抱 小可爱
Oh, sweet thing. You love me and you want me to buy you a dress.
小可爱 你爱我 你要我给你买裙子
Ay. But I'm gonna buy her some shoes first. Mmm.
What's that, Lily? Do you want me to buy you a dress?
什么 莉莉 要我给你买裙子吗
She did not say "Yes."
Okay, "Win" On three.
One, two, three- Win!
Don't forget the pick and roll.
- These guys won't know how to defend it. - Phil,
- try not to confuse my boys, okay? - Okay.
- I sleep with your daughter. - What?
All right. Let's go! Let's go! Come on. Let's go!
好 上场 快快快 跑起来
Let's get out there. Hustle up. Get the tip, get the tip.
动起来 快快快 记住我说的
Watch, skip and go.
注意 抢球 走
Oh! All right. Keep the hustle, keep the hustle.
没事 跑起来 跑起来
Come on, boys. Don't let 'em push you around.
加油 小子 别让他们掌握主动
Oh! All right, little defense!
I did a little scouting,
and the other team only has two shooters.
If we isolate both of them-
Good, Phil, good. Thank you. Good.
好 菲尔 好 谢谢 好
Manny, pay attention! What are you looking at?
曼尼 集中精神 你看什么呢
And that was in 2004.
What are the regulatory challenges of a solar farm?
Uh, well, you know, it could be anything- uh, agricultural-
Military, protected species,
ironically, even some, uh, environmental groups.
I think you got all of it.
Yeah. I'm just gonna freshen this up.
- Let me ask you a question. - Yeah.
How do you like the beard?
I'm thinking of growing one. Jenny's against it.
Oh. Well, I-I've been very happy with mine.
That's it. I'm doin' it.
Look, I've made a fortune. I want to use it for some good.
I need a lawyer to help me navigate.
I like you. You get me. So, in or out?
我挺喜欢你 你懂我 你意下如何
- I'm very sorry. - It's okay.
Um, that's a very big question.
You know, I'm obviously gonna have to
go talk to my- bull in a china shop.
- I'll be right back. - Sure.
Talk it over. It's a major life decision.
Hey, Jenny! The beard is on!
嘿 珍妮 胡子我留定了
Okay, Lily, it's time to buy you beautiful shoes.
Oh, no, no, no. I saw another really cute dress for her.
Ay. But she has already six new dresses.
What she needs is strappy shoes.
There's Alex. I'll-I'll see you later.
Alex, honey. Hi.
Mom, I said I'd meet you at the car.
Still wish you had a daughter?
- Manny didn't want me at the game today. - Oh, I'm sorry.
- It's okay. - No, it's not okay. It sucks.
-没什么 -不 怎么会没什么 烂透了
I miss babies. They never tell you to go away.
Yeah. Or wait in the car.
I don't know about you,
but I'm not gonna stand here and feel sorry for myself.
You know what we should do?
I was gonna say go for ice cream.
Okay. We'll do yours first. Great.
It's hard to guard a player if there's no player near you!
We good in the hood?
This is a uniquely frustrating group of boys.
I hear you. Um, one thing that might help- instead of a zone,
确实 我有个小建议 停止联防
if you switch to a simple man-to-man.
- I got this. - Really?
'Cause according to the scoreboard,
the only thing you got is four points.
- I need to talk to you. - I need to talk to you.
Come here. You- You-
到这来 你 你
Cam- Cam, you have got to relax.
小卡 小卡 你得放轻松
I told you I wouldn't take a job without-
- Take the job. - What?
I want you to take the job.
I thought you liked having me home with Lily. I-
I don't. I mean, I do. I just-
我不想 我是说 我想 我只是
I miss my time with Lily,
and I know it's selfish of me, but-
- No, I want the job. - You do?
-不 我想要工作 -真的吗
I- I love Lily, but I hate baby talk.
I love baby talk.
- Let's go get this job. - Let's get this job.
- Okay. - Oh, no.
They're not gonna hear us. We're trapped out here.
Just stop being so dramatic.
We'll just go through the garage, with the-
That's why he wants to hire you. You're good in crisis.
- It's not opening. - Push it again.
- I'm hearing things, but it's not- - Push it harder.
-我听到动静了 但是 -用力点按
That's not- Is it this one?
I hear something. What is that?
No. Stop touching- Stop-
不是 别乱按 住手
This- Oh, that was it. All right.
这个 是这个 行了
- Mitchell! Oh, my God. Did- - No!
-米奇尔 天啊 这 -天啊
- Oh, my God! - No, Cam!
-天啊 -不 小卡
Cam, we- Did we do that?
小卡 我们 我们弄的
What are we gonna say?
I will take the job.
- Kinda think you have to now. - Yeah.
Guys, you're on the same team!
- Time out! - Get over here!
Guys, earlier we practiced a few set plays.
Did any of them involve wrestling the ball from your own teammate?
- But you said to be aggressive. - Yeah!
Not on your own team! Wait here.
You gotta coach. I can't take it.
- You talkin' to me? - Yeah, I'm talkin' to you.
-你是在跟我说吗 -是 是跟你说
You gotta take over. I'm about to lose it out there.
That sounds tough, Coach.
- What's your problem? - Hey, Coach! Ticktock.
-你这是怎么回事 -教练 该继续了
I was dealing with the coach. You pushed me aside.
I was dealing with the boys. You pushed me aside.
Believe it or not, Jay,
there are some things that I am better at than you are.
- Bam! It's out there. - Oh, for God's sake.
-砰 终于把话摊开了 -老天啊
- Coach! - He's calling you.
Listen. I don't blame you for being angry. All right?
听着 我能理解你很不爽 好吧
I'm used to taking charge. That's all.
I should have let you coach from the get-go.
- I love you. - No. The barbecue.
-我爱你 -不 烧烤那事儿
Oh, for God's sake.
I'm sure your steaks would have been delicious... and not chewy.
- Okay. I'll do it. - Thanks.
-好 我来 -谢谢
And so the student becomes the master.
- The once mighty- - You know what? Forget it.
-昔日王者 -算了 不劳你驾
No, no, no, no. I'm good. I'm good.
不不不不 我来 我来
Hey, hey. Guys. Who wants to go out like a champ?
I love it! Okay, Jordy, you inbound to Luke.
就这态度 好 乔迪 你发球给卢克
Manny, you set a pick on Luke's man
and roll to the bucket.
- Luke, you know what to do. - No, I don't.
- Bounce-pass to Manny. - But, Dad-
-传地板球给曼尼 -但是 爸
Coach, Manny hasn't taken a single shot all season.
Then chances are he'll be open.
Okay, guys. Let's bring it out.
好的 队员们 上场了
Hey, hey. Bring it in.
Let's show these guys what kind of team they're about to beat.
Huh? "Li'I Dribblers" On three.
One, two, three- Li'I Dribblers!
Okay, red ball. Side out. Here we go.
What's my coaching philosophy?
- Give a kid a bird- - Yes!
And he becomes one of those weird dudes
who walks around with a bird on his shoulder.
But give him a pair of wings,
Unless he has absolutely no hand-eye coordination.
Okay, I support you.
That was 20 minutes.
Mom, I am so, so sorry.
I know it's no excuse,
but I've been feeling a lot of pressure at school.
You know, with friends.
And I love you so much,
and I appreciate everything you do for me.
I'm still your little girl.
Oh, honey! That was so sweet.
Can I get $20? A bunch of us are going to a movie,
and we're gonna get something to eat afterwards.
Jenna's brother's gonna take us home.
Okay. Of course. Sweetie, you know what? Take 40.
好 没问题 亲爱的 给你40
- Oh, my gosh. - Yeah. That's right.
-天啊 -没什么 给
- Thanks, Mom. - Go on. Have a great time.
-谢谢妈 -去吧 玩得开心
Oh, Alex, honey? When you're out shopping,
艾丽克斯 亲爱的 逛街的时候
you might wanna pick yourself up a training bra.
I know you don't need one now,
but your little boobies are gonna come in soon.
Mommy loves you, kitten!
Teach her to screw with me.
I set a pick and then rolled towards the basket.
Luke passed to me. I shot the ball and almost made it.
卢克把球传给我 我投篮 几乎进了
I bought Lily the cutest little dress today.
And then I stole the ball from the other team,
did a 360 and almost dunked it.
Ay. I just had the best day today with Lily.
That girl's so sweet.
I have a game next Saturday. You could come.
No, it's okay. I wouldn't want to embarrass you.
不了 谢谢 我不想去给你丢脸
I'll probably take Lily out for cupcakes. Mm-hmm.
I usually go with earrings.