Honeydew! What's up?
He drove his R.V. all the way up from Cocoa Beach.
Hey, Son, working hard?
He's gonna say "Hardly working."
I meant to tell you he was driving out.
- Did he say it? - Oh, yeah.
He wasn't supposed to show up for a few more days.
Well, guess what he brought us.
A dog... to keep.
Yes, I should have told Claire about the dog,
and I was going to.
But I was just waiting for her to be in the right mood.
Actually, I did get one right mood a couple nights ago,
but I cashed that in for something else.
- Am I in trouble? - Oh, really, really big.
Okay, I'm a little scared. How bad is this?
Oh, well we have a new rule- no sleeping in the bedroom.
Mr. Pritchett. Uh, Ben- Ben Dugan.
普里契特先生 我是本 本·杜根
I went to high school with Mitch.
We were in the drama club together.
- That's right. - Yeah.
Geez, I didn't recognize you
without that old-guy makeup on.
You know, you and Mitch knocked The Sunshine Boys out of the park.
Mitch was really great in that.
I always thought he should be an actor.
Yeah, he's got a real job now.
He's a lawyer. How about you?
- Still acting. - Fantastic.
Actually, it's exciting. I'm in a new movie,
Maple Drive. Just came out.
You're kidding me. Look at me. I know somebody famous.
真的吗 哇 我认识名人了
Uh, anyway, I got to go.
- Great to see you. - Good to see you too.
Kid's a movie star.
- Hey, how'd it go in there? - No cavities.
And I got a free toothbrush.
Hey, you want to go to the movies?
I just heard about a good one.
But I'm supposed to be in school.
Well, you're supposed to floss too,
but you got away with that one.
One of the greatest days of my life...
was when my old man sprung me from school
and took me to the track.
I wanted to do the same type of thing for Manny,
plus I figured when Gloria heard about it,
maybe it pays off in the bedroom.
I wonder if that's why my old man did it.
Your mother-in-law just had to have the dog.
Turns out she's allergic.
And the pet store didn't have a grace period
or a return policy or anything?
I got him from the pound.
Was there a twister in Kansas?
'Cause there's a house in my driveway.
Welcome home, Mr. Dunphy.
Uh, always a pleasure, Mr. Dunphy.
Indeed it is, Mr. Dunphy. Place it there.
我也是 邓菲先生 请把它放在那里
- Oh, I shall. I shall. - I miss this. Get in here.
-好的好的 -真怀念啊 来抱一个
He's awesome. He's always up. He's always happy.
他特别好 永远积极向上 笑口常开
I mean, he and I are best buds.
We're like two peas in a pod.
Or Siamese twins. Or a snake with two heads.
- They've actually been all those things for Halloween. - Yeah.
Oy. This must be Scout, huh?
I should warn you. He sheds.
I made the mistake of letting him sleep with me on the road.
Now my sheets look like two bigfoots did it.
Pardon the language.
- How's Mom? - Speaking of big feet, eh?
She's on a cruise with her girlfriends,
some of which are not totally unattractive.
Oh, that reminds me. She sent some gifts for the kids.
Um, I will be right back.
- You three get better acquainted. - Will do!
- Bye! - Will do!
I cannot believe you got a dog without consulting me.
This was a major family decision.
- It was wrong. - Yeah.
But we have talked about getting a dog for years,
and you're the only one who wasn't into it.
Because I knew that I would be the one taking care of it.
No, we will all help.
This is a great chance to teach the kids responsibility.
That is exactly what you said about Luke's paper route.
Is anyone in there?
Red's a good color on you.
It's just a movie.
- Oh, he's so cute. - Look at his little face.
I always wanted a dog. Thanks, Grandpa.
Okay, but remember, having a dog is a major responsibility.
Everyone in the family has to pitch in.
- Can do, Mrs. D. - Not you, Dylan.
-没问题 邓太太 -没包括你 迪兰
Oh, phew. 'Cause I got a lot on my plate right now.
Hey, look who's here. Uncle Cam.
Hey, we heard about the new addition
and we had to come right over.
Cameron, so good to see you again.
Now that is a shirt.
Oh, well, thank you, Frank. I get 'em online.
谢了 弗兰克 我网购的
I'll send you a link.
Oh, well, at home, I smoke sausages.
I'll send you a link.
- And this must be Lily. - Oh, yes.
She just couldn't wait to meet the new doggy.
I think she's good right here.
Let me get in there and get some of that doggyness.
- Oh, there it is. - Haley.
- There it is. - I gotta go.
- What's wrong? - That was Brian. He just quit the band.
-怎么了 -是布莱恩 他要退出乐队
He's moving to Portland.
His parents got back together.
- Oh, that sucks. - I know.
Now we're gonna have to cancel the gig tomorrow.
Maybe you can find another drummer.
No. I think it's too late for that now.
Well, I mean, I haven't played in a while, since Lily's come along,
but if you're in a jam, I can jam.
Well, I totally would, but I'm not sure
we like the same sorts of music, you know?
What, because I'm gay,
I'm just gonna want to play show tunes?
No, because you're old.
Wow. That hurt more, Dylan.
Give him a chance. It's better than canceling.
You're right. I don't want to lose
the deposit on that fog machine.
Okay. Let's do it.
I used to be a music teacher,
but I gave that up as soon as Lily came along.
Yes. Well, we just felt that it was really important...
that one of us stayed hometo raise her, so-
Yeah, and that's not a judgmenton other people's choices.
It's just that we happen to be a very traditional family.
Yes, that's what the disabled lesbian shaman
who blessed Lily's room said too.
How you doin', buddy?
I am telling you, Phil, the man was crying.
我跟你说 菲尔 你爸真哭了
My dad is the happiest guy on earth.
It probably just sounded like he was crying.
Have you heard the noise he makes when he gets out of a chair?
No. I know what I heard.
I think this has something to do with your mom.
- What? - Yeah, he came here alone. Think about it.
-什么 -想想看 他是一个人来的
She's on a cruise.
Yeah, and they never take separate vacations, so-
No. No, if something was wrong,
不 不可能 如果真有事
my dad would tell me about it.
No, Phil, he wouldn't,
不 菲尔 他不会说的
because you guys never actually talk about anything.
We talk all the time.
He crank calls me at work, like, three times a week.
- Crank calls don't count. - Counts for fun.
No, honestly, I think that you should
find out what's going on with your dad.
It's going to be nothing.
My dad isn't like your dad.
There's nothing deep and dark inside.
His hard candy shell is just hiding more candy.
I think he wants to go out. Good boy.
- Smart dog. - I hate to break it to you,
but I think all dogs can do that.
I'm gonna play outside.
Should I just play a little something?
Yeah. But, you know, if it doesn't work out,
Well, hopefully this is- this is like riding a bicycle,
and it'll all come back to me.
That's the loud one.
I had the sticks in the wrong hands.
Dude, you should label those sticks.
Is that the alarm? Has our perimeter been breached?
It's not the alarm. The doorbell won't stop ringing.
- Maybe a demon is ringing it. - Not a demon.
Who keeps ringing the doorbell?
- We're pretty sure it's a demon. - Oh, yeah?
If it were a demon, it would keep on ringing.
Not if he's already inside. I'm getting a weapon.
What were you thinking?
Who takes a little boy to a horror movie?
This is no big deal. You want scary?
When I was his age,
I lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis.
I slept with a butter knife under my pillow...
in case I had to fight some Soviet colonel.
Why would they send a Soviet colonel to get a little boy?
Because I could identify every commie plane.
What are we talking about?
Look, all I'm saying, being scared is part of growing up.
Manny will get over this. It builds character.
I'll take the first watch.
You two might as well get some rest.
It's gonna be a long night.
Come on in! It's open!
Don't tell me. You need a cup of sugar.
I was just wondering, I don't know, uh-
Anything on the old noodle?
Other than a bad toupee?
I'm kidding, of course. This is my real hair.
- Well, okay. - Wait a minute.
I want to ask you something.
Am I putting you in a bad position with this whole dog thing?
Claire seemed a little put out.
Oh, don't worry about it. Claire didn't like me at first either.
I can't blame her. Dismissed!
Oh, Dad, um, you know what? I, uh-
爸 你知道吗 我...
Claire saw something,
and she'd kill me if I- if I didn't ask.
Would you wear pants to breakfast, for crying out loud?
- You got me again. Right in the funny bone. - All right.
-又被你骗到了 正中弱点 -很好
Come on, Scout. Let go of it.
拜托 斯科特 松口
Dog. Look at this.
How did he get ahold of your bra?
Well, uh, we were out on a date,
and he has a really nice car, so-
How do you think? He got it out of the laundry basket.
Can't take my eyes off that dog for a second.
Why don't you just keep him in the crate?
I tried that. He figured out how to get out.
I thought you were dealing with your dad.
Oh, yeah, I did. He's fine, so-
没错 我们谈了 他没事
You got that from a two-minute conversation?
I... asked him point-blank if he was okay.
He said he was. So I just-
Just swapped some jokes and moved on.
Phil, the man needs more of a push than that.
Look, if he wants to talk to me about it, he will.
Geez, someone's panties are in a bunch.
- I thought I was showing concern and- - No. Right there.
-我只想表示一下关心 -不 你看
Oh, my God! That damn dog!
Guys, little help?
I have to go to the bathroom, and I'm not gonna do it in here.
- Hey, I got Chinese. - Sweet! I'm starving.
-我买了中餐外卖 -太好了 正饿着呢
Yeah. We're just having a little jam session.
You know Dylan. This is Craig. This is Neil.
I'll always remember him as the stranger holding my baby.
Can I talk to you in the kitchen for a second?
Yeah. Hey, guys, let's, uh- let's just take five.
好的 各位 我们休息一下
What's up with 21 Jump Street?
Oh, well, their drummer quit
and I'm gonna fill in for him tomorrow night.
No, no. We have Pepper's
apres-ski fondue party tomorrow night, Cam.
So you'll just have to tell your band
that they're gonna have to find someone else.
You know what? No. I'm not gonna let these fellas down.
I made a commitment.
You made two commitments, okay?
And you know how Pepper is.
Everything has to be perfect.
He gets mad if you don't wear a big sweater.
Yeah, I remember. I got so hot last year,
I almost went face down in the gruyere.
So I'm going by myself, is that what you're saying?
I just feel like I kind of need this.
To round out your college applications?
It's just that because I'm always home with Lily...
I just feel like I'm going a little bit stir-crazy.
Every time I finish painting it, I start all over again.
It's like the Golden Gate Bridge.
I'm gonna go back to jamming.
Yeah, we gotta fix this.
Hey, what's with the big sweater at a concert?
Is that a gay thing?
No, Dad. It's for my friend Pepper's apres-ski fondue-
Yeah. Yeah, it's a gay thing.
Hope they start soon.
I don't think Scout likes to be left alone.
You love the dog.
No, I don't love the dog. I love my couch.
不 不是喜欢它 我是心疼我的沙发
And the dog was looking at it like it was a giant sausage.
Good news, you two. You're getting your driveway back.
孩子们 好消息 你的车道要腾空了
- I'm hitting the open road in the morning. - Oh, already?
- Yeah. - Anxious to get home and see Mom, huh?
No, I'm just gonna drive wherever the wind blows me,
which is usually into the next lane.
Can we get some sodas, Grandpa?
Okay, but just one. I'm driving. Come on.
好呀 不过只能一杯 我还得开车
He's not going home? He's never been away from my mom
for longer than a doctor's appointment.
Honey, I know. I told you.
亲爱的 我知道 我就说嘛
I always felt bad for people
with emotionally distant fathers.
It turns out I'm one of 'em.
It's a miracle I didn't end up a stripper.
Thanks, everybody, for coming out.
These are some songs we wrote.
One, two. One, two, three.
* Baby, don't leave me I just want you to know *
* I want you to know *
* There's something inside me that I cannot control *
* I cannot control *
- Our boyfriends totally rock! - I know, right?
* I heard you screamin' my name I'm goin' insane *
Well, the plan was...
to watch him for 10 minutes
and then run out to Pepper's party.
* Coursing through my veins *
But he was so great up there.
How-How could I leave?
* But don't be afraid *
* I'll be your vampire *
It was his moment.
And his moment went on for a really, really long time.
Turns out I could have run to the party
and made it back for the end of his moment.
Manny, go brush your teeth and get ready for bed, okay?
- Your bed. - Can I watch TV?
- Mmm, only 10 minutes. - Okay.
Hey, Jay, it's Ben Dugan.
你好 杰 我是本·杜根
I got your message.
Uh, yes, I'm happy to help out. I'll swing by tonight.
- What's that? - That's Ben.
That's the guy who was in the movie.
I figure when Manny sees him, sees how nice he is,
he'll realize it's all pretend.
- You think that will work? - Guy's a sweetheart.
Manny's gonna spend two minutes with him.
He'll explain how the movie's made.
He's even bringing his fake machete.
Thing's made of rubber.
Hey, are you Manny? I'm here for you.
Que paso? Que paso? Que paso?
We're gonna need a bigger bed!
Oh, my God! I think that's him.
- You stayed. - Yeah.
Well, you know, I'm-I'm with the band.
I thought the gig was a little sloppy in spots,
but I think once I learn all the songs-
I thought- I thought this was a one-time thing?
Are you kidding? We destroyed in there.
Did you hear that one lady screaming my name?
That was Phil. He had a Red Bull.
Hey, guys. Good gig, huh?
- Yeah. Totally awesome, man. - Heck of a gig.
-是啊 棒极了 -震撼的演出
Hey. I thought you were in Portland.
No. My parents broke up again.
I'm not moving. I can stay in the band.
Well, this is awkward.
Oh, awkward for me.
Good luck following that, Ringo.
I believe this belongs to you.
I don't want to drag the house along with me.
Come here, you little monkeys.
Bye, Grandpa. We'll miss you.
再见 爷爷 我们会想你的
I wish I could take you with me.
- Drive safe, Grandpa. - Oh, I'll try.
-路上小心 爷爷 -我尽量
You sure you don't want to stay for breakfast?
No, I ought to be hitting the road.
- Can I talk to you for a second? - Sure.
I don't think you're being honest with me.
I- I know something is going on with you.
Something up? Well, my boxers are, uh, riding a little high.
I'm not in the mood for jokes right now,
- although you nailed that. - Thanks.
- Great stuff. - Thanks.
- It's nothing. - Oh, it's nothing?
- Nothing to do with Mom? - No!
Well, yeah. I've fallen in love.
好吧 其实有关 我坠入爱河了
- Who is she? - He!
It's that little guy right over there.
Come on over here. Come on. Come on.
快过来 过来 过来
There you go. Ah, look at him.
Driving across country,
this little bastard nuzzled his way
right into my heart, didn't ya?
So this is just about you not wanting to leave the dog?
Well, you should tell Mom.
Those three days on the road with him
were the happiest of my life.
You should leave that part out.
I don't want to keep Scout if it makes Grandpa sad.
Yeah, I know, sweetie. But Grandma has allergies,
我知道 宝贝 可是奶奶会过敏
so Scout has to stay with us.
Well, she could always just get some allergy shots.
Honey, you don't want to put her through that.
Hell, back in the day, I got a vasectomy for her.
Scout's- Scout's your dog.
He should go with you.
Okay, you twisted my arm.
Thanks, Son. Thanks for poking through the armor.
谢了 儿子 多谢你看穿了我的伪装
- You're poking through the armor down there. - What?
You are a treasure.
Come on, Scout. Let's mosey.
来吧 斯科特 我们走了
Oh, oh, oh! Oh, wait.
- He loves that, yeah. - Oh, I bet he does.
No, Scout. This time I drive.
不 斯科特 这次轮到我开车了
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but I think I might have actually gotten even closer with my dad.
I can't believe he took my dog.
- Bye-bye. - Bye, Grandpa! Love you!
-再见 -爷爷再见 爱你哦
- Bye, Grandpa! I love you! - Luke, stay!
-爷爷再见 我爱你 -卢克 停下
-Luke, stay! - Come back soon! I'll see you later!
-卢克 停下 -下次再来 再见啦
Hey, Jay. Good to see you.
Great to see you. Didn't expect to find you here.
Well, listen, when my granddaughter's boyfriend's band
plays an under-21 club with my daughter-in-law's
brother's gay partner, I show up.
That's just how I was raised.
- I don't think you met my wife, Gloria. - Hola.
-你还没见过我太太吧 歌洛莉亚 -你好
Oh, it's a pleasure. You are a lovely woman.
- You must be Frank. - Okay, then,
you are hotter than a Las Vegas sidewalk on the Fourth of July.
- Did I go too far? - Not you, Frank. No.
-我太过火了吗 -不 没事 弗兰克