摩登家庭 第一季 Modern Family Season 1 第24集: 全家福 Family Portrait

上映日期: 2,009

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: Jason Winer

演员: 阿芮尔·温特 / 艾德·奥尼尔 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 泰·布利尔


台词
- Oh, hey, honey. Have a great time at the game. - Thanks.
-亲爱的 好好享受比赛哦 -谢谢
Oh. Why are you crunching?
什么在响
Ordinarily, I'm a rule follower,
通常 我是守规矩的人
but when someone tells me I can't bring
但是如果有人不准我
my own snacks into their stadium,
自带零食进体育馆
that's when I get a little nuts.
我就要生气[坚果]了
It's a free country, right?
这是个自由的国家不是吗
Let's just say it ruffles me...
这么说吧 让我不爽[薯片]的是
when some goobers tell me...
某些蠢货[花生]叫我
I have to spend half my payday...
在发薪日[糖]花上半天
on their hot dogs.
在他们的热狗上
Please, just remember the family portrait.
记得回来照全家福
- We only have the photographer for an hour. Okay? - Okay.
-摄影师只有一个小时时间 -好吧
And, sweetie, did you have a chance to
亲爱的 要不要去试试
try on the white pants I put in your closet?
我放在你衣橱里面的白裤子
Oh, what do they look like?
哦 长什么样的
Is there really a more clear way to describe white pants?
白裤子还能长什么样
Sweetie, if they don't fit you,
亲爱的 如果不合适
you're going to be the only one not wearing white,
你就是全家唯一没穿白裤子的人了
[美国儿童杂志上的一款游戏读者要在一群人当中找出沃尔多]
and then you're gonna stand out like "Where's Waldo?"
然后你就像"沃尔多在哪里"一样明显扎眼
Actually, "Where's Waldo?" doesn't stand out.
实际上 沃尔多在哪里不会明显扎眼
He's super hard to find. That's the challenge.
你很难找到他 那正是游戏乐趣所在
This portrait is incredibly important to me.
此次全家福对我来说很重要
Also, his name is just "Waldo."
而且 他就叫沃尔多 没有"在哪里"
I spent weeks trying to find
我花了好几周时间才选到
a time that works for everybody...
一个每个人都有空的时间
and finding the right photographer.
还有合适的摄影师
So if you could just promise me that you'll cooperate, okay?
你向我保证会乖乖合作 好吗
- I promise. -Okay.
-我保证 -好吧
- This is amazing that you're doing this. - Mmm, thank you.
-你想得真周到 -谢谢
- You're wonderful. - Thank you.
-你太棒了 -谢谢
Get in here
过来
- Oh, no can do. - Oh.
-哎呀使不得 -哦
- I love you. - Bye.
-我爱你 -拜拜
Where's my good underwear?
我的好内裤哪去了
The question is,
问题应该是
why isn't all your underwear good, Jay?
为什么你还有烂内裤 杰
You make a nice living.
你赚钱那么多
The new maid keeps mixing up my underwear with Manny's.
新来的佣人老是把我的内裤和曼尼的弄混
Put on the first thing I grabbed.
有一次我随便抓了一条
It was like a crotch tourniquet.
紧得跟止血带一样
- You gotta talk to her. - Why me?
-你得跟她说啊 -为什么让我说
Hola. You both speak the same language.
喂 你们说一样的语言
She's Portuguese. Do you know how offensive it is...
她是葡萄牙人 你知不知道
that you put all of us in the same mixing pot?
把我们混为一类人是很不礼貌的
Sorry. Please apologize to her when you tell her not to
抱歉 请代我给她道个歉 还告诉她
- put my underwear- - I can't talk to her!
-不要把我的内裤 -我们语言不通
- Where's Luke? - I'm going instead.
-卢克呢 -我代替他去
Luke suddenly remembered a school project due tomorrow.
卢克有个家庭作业明天就要交了
Oh, that's tough.
噢 太不幸了
But it's a good lesson for the kid.
但是这对他可能是不错的一课
You know, you make a commitment,
你作了承诺
- you gotta follow through. - Yeah.
-你得要兑现 -对
What is the project?
是什么作业
He has to interview somebody who lived through the 1960s.
他要采访一个曾经生活在60年代的人
Oh, no.
不会吧
Hello.
Yeah, Luke.
是啊 卢克
Oh, sure. I remember what I said.
当然 我记得我承诺过什么
Yeah, come on over. All right.
过来吧 好
Gloria, you're gonna have to take Manny to the game.
歌洛莉亚 你得带曼尼去看比赛
Yay. Manny, vamos!
好耶 曼尼 快点
I'm still getting dressed.
我还在穿衣服呢
Hey, Mom, I think my diet's working.
妈 我觉得我减肥有效果了
My underwear won't stay up.
我内裤都松了
家 庭
摩 登
第一季第二十四集
Oh, so delicious. Yes.
好吃 来
Hey, you're okay with me not going with you today, right?
今天不和你去没关系吧
I have been hired to sing at a wedding this weekend.
有人请我周末去婚礼献唱
I was plucked from obscurity
我在一次精彩的卡拉OK
after a particularly stirring karaoke performance.
演出后被别人选中了
So I guess you could say I'm a professional singer now.
所以说呢 我也算是专业歌手了
Well, they're paying you in flowers, so-
他们是以花代钱付给你的 所以呢
Well, I would've blown the money on flowers anyway.
反正就算他们给钱 我也会拿去买花的
They're saving me a step.
他们倒是省了我的麻烦
Plus all the great divas are rewarded in flowers.
再说所有的歌后都有人献花
They're also given paychecks.
然后还有支票
And I'm really bad at small talk, so-
我不大擅长闲聊 所以呢
I get it. It's not a problem.
我懂了 没什么问题
Are you sure? 'Cause you've been quiet all morning.
是吗 我看你一早上没说话
It's because I'm resting my instrument.
因为我得酝酿一下我的嗓子
Okay.
好吧
I feel tension.
我看他是压力巨大
Kobe! Kobe, over here!
科比 科比 这边
Kobe! Kobe! Over here!
科比 科比 这边
What can I do for you?
需要帮忙吗
Do you like being a basketball player?
你喜欢当篮球运动员吗
Serious?
不是吧你
I choked. I didn't think you'd look up here at me.
我紧张了 我没想到你会往这边看
Little preparation next time.
那下次准备下
It's a mental game.
用用脑子好好想哦
Duly noted.
懂了
- All right. - Your Los Angeles Lakers!
-好 -湖人队入场
- What's wrong? - That broken step.
-怎么了 -楼梯坏了
It's gonna ruin our whole family portrait.
全家福会因此被毁的
Okay, here's my idea. I'm really excited about it.
我是这样想的 我兴奋得不得了
The whole extended family, all dressed in white,
全家人都穿白色
in a single-file line down the staircase.
一字从上到下排开
Oh, like a line on the highway.
就像高速公路的汽车
No.
不是
Or, uh, a ski jump.
那跳台滑雪
No.
也不是
Why- Why would I want a ski jump?
我搞跳台滑雪干嘛
I don't know.
不知道
My idea was to have the whole family in a giant bed,
我是想一家人在一张大床上
[威利·旺卡 《查理与巧克力工厂》人物]
like in Willy Wonka.
就像威利·旺卡一样
Yeah, but that's ridiculous.
那简直太"可笑"了
"Ridiculicious."
应该是"可口"
I don't see anything.
我什么都没看到
So I'm crazy?
所以是我疯了吗
No. You're... not.
不 你 没有
Your father was supposed to fix that step.
你爸早该把这个楼梯修好的
Mom, you're obsessing over the tiniest little thing-
妈 你对这些小细节太挑剔了
So you do see it, yeah.
这么说你也看到了
What is the big deal about this one picture?
不就照张相嘛 有什么大不了的
Honey, you know what,
亲爱的 我跟你说
I don't expect you to understand, but-
我不指望你能理解 但是
All right, when you're a mom,
这样 等你以后当妈了
everything goes by so quickly.
会感到时光如白驹过隙
In a minute, Luke's gonna be shaving,
要不了多久 卢克就开始刮胡子了
and Alex is gonna be off at college, and you're gonna be-
艾丽克斯去上大学 你呢
you'll be doing something great.
你会做一些了不起的事情
I just wanna freeze this moment as it is right now.
我就是想时间定格在这一刻
- You know? - I do.
-能理解吧 -能
I know I don't show it,
我知道我平时松松垮垮
but this family's still the most important thing-
但是这个家庭对我来说很重
Screw it.
管它呢
I'm gonna fix the bastard.
我亲自来修
I mean, seriously, how hard can it be?
我倒要看看有多难
If your father can do it, I can do it. Right?
你老爸能行 那我也能行 对吧
All right.
好吧
I just need to...
我只需要
lift-
抬起来-
Oh, now I see it.
现在我看见了
These seats are amazing.
我们的位置真棒
Why you have candy coming out of your pocket?
你口袋里怎么有糖漏出来
No, no, no, no, no.
不是不是不是
- Huh? - I brought my own snacks.
-什么 -我自己带了零食
Not because I'm cheap. It's a matter of principle.
不是我小气 这是原则问题
Plus I get a little rush from the danger.
再说冒着被人发现的危险其实挺刺激的
Be cool. Be cool.
淡定 装酷
- What? - Be cool. Just look straight ahead.
-什么 -淡定 看前面
I never felt more alive. Whoo!
我感觉好极了 哦吼
Okay, I just made it worse. I'm not freaking out though.
我越搞越糟糕 但我没有惊惶失措
I'm gonna call your dad, and he's gonna tell me how to fix this.
我打电话给你爸 问他怎么修
- Oh, my God! It's Dad. - Where?
-天啊 是老爸 -哪儿
Right there, behind Kobe.
那里 科比的后面
- Oh, my god! - How weird is this!
-天啊 -真是太少见了
Quick. Quick, tell me something to say that will freak him out.
快点快点 想一件事情来吓他
- Tell him I'm pregnant. - No, not gonna say that.
-说我怀孕了 -不 那个可不能乱说
Okay, here we go. How funny is this!
响了响了 真是太有趣了
Hey, it's Phil. You know what to do.
你好 我是菲尔 有事请留言
Well, that was pretty funny.
真是"有趣"呀
Oh, my God!
天啊
Oh, my God.
天啊
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
天啊 天啊 天啊
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
天啊 天啊
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
天啊 天啊 天啊
Oh, my God. Oh.
天啊 噢
It's much better. Excuse me. Sorry.
好多了 失陪一下
Hello?
There is a pigeon in our house.
家里进来一只鸽子
What do I do? What do I do?
怎么办 怎么办
Who is this?
你谁呢
- Never funny. Not funny now. - Calm down.
-不搞笑 一点都不搞笑 -冷静
You know I grew up around many animals.
我从小就是在动物的陪伴下长大的
One time, a rooster attacked me,
有一次一只公鸡袭击我
and my mom wrung its neck, and we had it for dinner.
我妈把它脖子拧了 然后晚上就吃鸡
Great time for an anecdote. Help me.
你真会挑时间讲故事 速回来救我
It's more afraid of you than you are of it.
其实它更怕你
Pigeons aren't scared of anything.
鸽子什么都不怕
They stand on electrical wires.
电线他们都敢站
You're gonna be fine, Mitchell. Just as long as you don't-
你会没事的 米奇尔 只要你不
You know what, they're starting.
那个 他们要开始了
I gotta go. Okay, bye.
我得挂了 拜拜
As long as I don't what? Cam?
只要我不怎么 小卡
As long as I don't- Oh, God!
只要我不怎么 我的个娘亲
Cool. The kiss cam.
酷 接吻镜头来了
Wouldn't it be embarrassing if the camera
如果镜头圈到了我们
- was on us and then the crowd started- - We're related.
-会不会很尴尬 -我们是亲戚
Not by blood.
但没有血缘关系
Touch me and there will be blood.
你敢碰我 就让你"血溅当场"
- Not us. - What's wrong with you?
-我们不行 -你怎么了
It's the kiss cam.
是接吻镜头
When it lands on you, you're supposed to kiss.
要是圈到我们 我们就得接吻
This is my wife's dad's second wife.
她是我岳父的二婚妻子
So legally okay, but still weird.
法律上没问题 但是很怪异
That was awkward.
太尴尬了
And we're back.
又是我们
Oh. Ay! Come on. It's not a big deal.
来吧 又没什么大不了的
Thank God for caller I.D.
多亏了来电显示
So you don't have to talk to your wife.
于是你不想接你老婆电话就可以挂掉
Oh, we're gonna talk, mister.
看我回来收拾你
We're gonna talk and talk.
我会慢慢慢慢说死你
Dad, Mom saw you on TV. You're dead.
老爸 妈妈在电视上看到你了 你死定了
Here's the thing. The kiss cam is only supposed to be...
是这样的 接吻镜头应该只针对
for the enjoyment of the people at the game.
现场观众娱乐一下的
They never show that on TV.
电视上根本不该播
What people do in the privacy of their own sports arena...
人们在自己的比赛场上做什么
should be their own business.
是他们的自由
So in '66, I worked in my grandfather's office supply business-
66年的时候我在我爷爷的办公品公司打工
you know, your ink, your staples, your legal pads.
就是墨水啊 订书钉啊 纸张之类的
Am I going too fast for you?
我说得太快了吗
I fell asleep for a second.
我听得都睡着了
Did you do anything interesting in the '60s?
你在60年代就没做过有意思的事吗
Well, one summer,
有一个夏天
I swept up hair at my other grandfather's barbershop.
我在姥爷的理发店里帮忙扫头发
- You're killing me. - What do you want?
-别折磨我了 -你想要什么样的故事
I don't know.
我也不确定
Brian Beckwith's grandfather marched on Washington.
布莱恩·贝壳维斯的爷爷当年在华盛顿游行过呢
Artie Beckwith?
阿蒂·贝壳维斯吗
He couldn't walk two feet without complaining.
那个整天啰里吧嗦 怨天尤人的怂货
He marched on Washington?
他去华盛顿游行过
He told Brian he did.
他是这样告诉布莱恩的
With Martin Luther King Jr.
跟马丁·路德·金一起
Martin Luther King?
马丁·路德·金
- Guess who cut his hair. - What?
-你以为他的理发师是谁 -什么
Do you know who cut Martin Luther King Jr.'s hair?
你知道马丁·路德·金的理发师是谁吗
Neither does Luke's teacher.
卢克的老师怕是也不知道
- So the barbershop was in Washington? - Okay.
-所以理发店是在华盛顿啊 -是的
- Did you cut any other famous hair? - Oh, yeah.
-你还为其他名人理过发吗 -那当然
The Kennedys, Richard Nixon, all the astronauts.
肯尼迪家族 理查德·尼克松 各位宇航员
[巴斯·奥尔德 人类首次登陆月球的宇航员之一]
How do you think Buzz Aldrin got his nickname?
你以为巴斯·奥尔德的外号是哪来的
Awesome.
酷毙了
*We love to play in Lily's room*
*莉莉的屋里最好玩*
*We don't need any milk*
*要不要牛奶无所谓*
Okay, you know what, Lily? I am a man.
好了 莉莉 你老爸是铁血真汉子
I am going into the kitchen to get your milk.
爸这就去厨房给你拿牛奶
*Ave Maria*
*万福玛利亚*
*Gratia plena*
*满被圣宠者*
*Maria, gratia plena*
*玛利亚 满被圣宠者*
*Maria, gratia plena*
*玛利亚 满被圣宠者*
*Ave, ave dominus*
*圣洁的天主*
*Dominus tecum*
*主与尔偕焉*
*Benedicta tu in mulieribus*
*女中尔为赞美*
*Et benedictus fructus ventris*
*尔胎子耶稣*
*Ventris tui, Jesus*
*并为赞美*
*Ave Maria*
*万福玛利亚*
[威尔特·张伯伦 美国男篮巨星]
Then one day, Wilt Chamberlain shows up.
有一次 威尔特·张伯伦来光顾了
He says, "Can you take a little off the top for my friend here?"
他说"你能帮忙修下我朋友的头发吗"
- And it's Elvis. - No way.
-竟然是猫王艾维斯 -不是吧
Greatest singer that ever lived, after Sinatra.
他是世上最了不起的歌手 除了西纳特拉
I'll fight any man who says different.
谁敢反驳我就跟他急
My dad says the greatest singer who ever lived is Peabo Bryson.
我老爸说最棒的歌手是彼柏·布莱森
Then I guess I gotta fight your dad.
那我只好找你老爸算算账了
Yeah, I guess.
是吧
Luke says Grandpa wants to fight you.
卢克说外公要找你算账
Why does everything have to suck?
干嘛什么都跟我过不去
Let's just do the picture another day.
我们还是改天照相吧
I think I'm getting a pimple.
我脸上马上要冒痘痘了
No.
不行
Do you know how long it took me to book this photographer?
你知道我多辛苦才约到那位摄影师吗
Maybe by the fireplace.
在壁炉那里照怎么样
Yeah. That's a classic old-person spot for a portrait.
行啊 旧时代的老人都喜欢在那儿画塑像
Yeah, if I'd ever bothered to paint that hideous wall.
拉倒吧 墙的颜色太恶心了
Claire is a perfectionist, which sometimes is a good thing,
克莱尔是个完美主义者 这有时候是好事
like when it comes to picking a husband.
比如选个绝代老公什么的
Sometimes it's a bad thing,
有时候就不太好了
like when everyone else sees something beautiful...
比如大家都觉得某样东西很不错
and all she sees is the teeny-tiny flaw.
而她的眼里就只有那些丁点大的瑕疵
No. No.
不行 坚决不行
No.
不行
Hi. My house is a disaster.
喂 我的房子遭殃了
Can we do this picture at your place?
能在你那里拍照吗
Yeah, that's- that's not gonna work.
这个 怕是不太可能了
So-
所以
Maybe one more layer. And tight, really tight.
再缠一圈吧 粘紧点 用点力
- Dad, can you call them again? - I just did.
-爸 能再催催他们吗 -刚打过了
They're on their way. Game went into overtime.
他们在路上了 比赛打进加时赛了
I know, but we're losing the light,
我知道 但是太阳都快落山了
and the photographer's
而且摄影师
gotta get to a bar mitzvah in 10 minutes.
10分钟后还要去个犹太男孩成人仪式
Oh, red wine. Really? Now?
红酒 现在 你不是吧
You know, honey,
亲爱的
I think you're getting a little too uptight about this.
我觉得你有点太神经质了
- It's hard to breathe. - Oh, you're fine.
-我呼吸困难了 -你没事的
What'd you do to him? He's turning blue.
你把他怎么了 他脸都绿了
But his clothes will stay white.
只要他的衣服是白色的就行
- We're home! - Oh, thank God.
-我们回来咯 -谢天谢地
Manny, let's go change.
曼尼 我们换衣服去
Hey, there's my beautiful wife.
嘿 又看见我美丽的贤妻了
I know you're mad at me,
我知道你生我的气
and I know this foam finger can't make up for everything.
我也知道这泡沫手指无法弥补我的过错
Honey, you just go change,
亲爱的 你赶紧换衣服
and we'll talk about what you did later.
那事儿我们回头再说
Hey, thank you so much for those tickets.
嘿 谢谢你买票给我们
Gloria tells me you had a real good time.
歌洛莉亚说你们玩得很开心
Not really. No, I didn't.
没没 我可没有
God, I love your daughter.
上苍作证 我爱你女儿
I should- I should come by
我到时候再回来
and kiss that step- fix that step.
亲下这台阶 修好这台阶
Oh, you're acting like I wanted to destroy the house.
你说的好像我是故意把家里弄得一团糟一样
No. I just think it's odd
不 我只是觉得奇怪
that the majority of things you destroyed...
你毁掉的大部分东西
were sent to us by my mom.
都是我妈送给我们的
Okay, okay, okay.
好吧 好吧
So while I'm fighting off that filthy creature,
也就是说我和那臭脏鸟周旋的时候
I actually stop and say, "Oh, you know what,
还会有时间停下来想 哎呀真好
here's the opportunity I've always been looking for
总算可以借机毁掉那些
to destroy our kitschiest objects."
庸俗不堪的东西了
Kitschiest? Oh, she's gonna love that.
庸俗不堪 她听到一定会很"开心"的
If you would've come with me to the wedding,
其实如果你跟着我去婚礼
none of this would have happened.
这一切都不会发生了
Okay. So you are angry.
你是真生气了啊
Mitchell, I get it.
米奇尔 我懂的
You're terrified of small talk and birds.
你讨厌扯家常 还不喜欢鸟
You're just lucky that pigeon
你一定很庆幸那小鸽子
didn't want to chat you up about the weather.
没缠着你聊天气状况吧
- Hello, Jay. - Hello, guys.
-你好 杰 -你们也好
Oh, God. Oh, you look like the guy from Dance Fever.
老天 你怎么穿得跟"舞迷"节目的选手似的
Thank you.
多谢夸奖
["舞迷"节目的主持人]
Deney Terrio. Cleveland, Ohio.
丹尼·特里奥 俄亥俄州克里夫兰市
Dad, really? That is not a compliment.
老爸 非要这样吗 我不是在夸你
That's why I wanted you to try those on earlier. Turn around.
所以之前我才让你先穿上试试 转过去
The picture can't happen today. My pimple's getting worse.
今天不能拍照 我的痘痘越发明显了
Oh, honey, I am so sorry. Can you stand?
我可怜的小宝贝 你还能站着吗
- Yeah. - Well, then the picture's happening.
-能 -那就得拍
It's all anybody's gonna see.
大家一定会紧盯着我不放的
I wouldn't be so sure about that.
我看可不一定
Did you get a look at her dress?
你看见她穿的裙子了吗
What? Why would I look at her dress? I love you.
什么 我看她裙子干嘛 我爱的是你
Uh, Mrs. Dunphy, the sun is setting.
邓菲太太 太阳就快下山了
Okay. Yeah, this is happening.
好的 这就拍
Everybody, come on. Let's go.
大家 快来 我们出去了
Be careful. I stained some furniture out there this afternoon.
小心点 我下午才给家具刷了漆摆外边呢
Of course you did, Dad.
可不是嘛 老爸
Anything else I need to know about?
还有什么需要注意的吗
Maybe the neighbors on either side are having a paintball fight.
没准旁边邻居正忙着打彩弹呢
Now watch this. Dad, in his infinite wisdom,
都看好了 我那睿智无比的老爹
stained furniture today.
今天给家具刷了漆
Don't touch it. It's wet.
千万别碰着了 还没干呢
- Hurry, hurry. - Put that down, sweetheart.
-快点快点 -别照了 亲爱的
Okay. Okay, we got it. Now we're gonna go out here.
很好很好 大家都过来了 现在站这边
Oh, my God! Are you kidding me?
老天啊 你在耍我吗
How do- How do you turn the sprinklers off?
那洒水器怎么关
Ay! Of course! Because I'm Latina,
又问我 当然了 就因为我是拉丁人
I'm supposed to know everything about gardening and sprinklers!
我就该对花园 洒水器什么的了如指掌
You were here when they installed it.
他们装这东西的时候就你在
Ay, yeah. The box is across the yard.
是诶 控制器在草坪那边
You mean your now-soaking-wet yard?
你是说要跨过这片黄浦江吗
That's great. We are screwed.
真好 彻底歇菜了
No, we're not.
不 还没
We haven't unwrapped our secret weapon yet.
我们还没出秘密武器呢
Luke walks over there, Hurt Locker style...
拆弹特工--卢克小神童过去
flips the switch,
关掉开关
and boom- or not boom- water off.
嘭 或者不嘭 水就关了
Put the "he" in "hero," son.
好男儿志当英雄 儿子
Hurt Locker? It's more like Squirt Locker.
拆弹专家 洒水器终结者还差不多
Really? That wasn't funny?
不是吧 不搞笑吗
I actually pity you guys.
我真同情你们这群没幽默感的
No time to celebrate! Stop it!
没空庆祝了 都给我停
- We don't have a lot of time. - All right, everybody.
-我们时间不多了 -好的 大家
- If I can have the little ones down front- - You know what, sir?
-请小个子的站前面 -先生
If you don't mind, I've got this.
不介意的话 我来吧
Come on, people, let's get out here.
大伙 都过来吧
Haley, Alex, I need you to unwrap your brother.
海莉 艾丽克斯 你们给弟弟拆胶带
All right, I need the Dunphys over on this side.
邓菲一家站这边
Dad, you're in the middle.
爸爸 你站中间
Mitchell, Cam, Lily on this end. Okay.
米奇尔 小卡 莉莉站那边
- Listen. - Uh-huh?
-听我说 -怎么
Honey, I screwed up, but if ever you're in my arms again-
亲爱的 我错了 如果你再次投入我怀抱
- Phil, not now. - Yes, now.
-菲尔 现在不说这些 -就得现在说
I don't want to look at this picture...
我不想日后看到这张照片时
when I'm 80 years old and you're long dead...
比如我80岁 而你早已与世长辞的时候
and know that you were angry at me when we took it.
还想到你拍照时心里深藏的怒气
Phil, we'll talk about what you did later.
菲尔 回头再说行吗
Okay, everybody. Eyes over here.
好了 大家 请看这里
I didn't do anything. She kissed me.
不关我的事 是她亲的我
What?
什么
- Who kissed you? - Gloria.
-谁亲了你 -歌洛莉亚
- What? - It was the kiss cam.
-什么 -是接吻镜头[同音:亲了小卡]
Why did you kiss Cam?
你亲小卡做什么
No, I kissed Phil. He told me I had to.
不是 我亲了菲尔 他说必须那样
- No, no. - Okay, hang on a second.
-不是这样的 -等一下
Was this before or after
这是在你无视
you ignored the phone call from your wife?
老婆电话之前还是之后
You saw that too?
那个你也看见了
Could we please just take the damn picture?
我们就不能先把相照了吗
Okay. Everybody, one more time.
好了 大伙 再来一次
- Just so you know, I am angry with you. - I knew it!
-你知道吗 我很生你的气 -我就知道
- Oh, damn it! - It was a big day for me,
-我靠 -今天对我来说很重要
and he didn't want to go because he doesn't like small talk.
而他不参加的原因是他不喜欢扯家常
Would it be terribly inconvenient...
把你们这些小吵小闹
to just postpone this hissy fit for a few minutes?
推迟那么几分钟就有那么难吗
Ok, you know what? Maybe some of us don't
你知道吗 或许我们根本就
- want to take a picture today. - Thank you.
-不想今天拍照 -多谢
And please, Claire,
拜托了 克莱尔
don't try to make Mitchell do something he doesn't wanna do.
别逼米奇尔做他不想做的事
Oh, shut up, Cam.
闭嘴吧 小卡
Okay, stop it! Stop it!
好了 别闹了
Everyone, listen. This took me forever to put together,
大家都听好了 我真的好不容易才筹划好
so I don't really care
所以我真的不在乎
who kissed who and who's got a pimple on her head...
谁亲了谁 谁额头上长了痘痘
and who is wearing an outrageously inappropriate dress.
或者谁穿了超级不得体的裙子
We are gonna get together and act like a normal family...
我们要打起精神 假装一切正常
for one-tenth of a freaking second,
持续十分之一秒就行
and we're gonna do it right now.
现在就这么办
- Come on, let's go. - Get your hands off of me.
-快点 -别碰我
No. No. Make me. Make me.
就不 就不 你怎样
Ah, this is ridiculous. You're both uptight about everything.
太荒唐了 你们两个对每件事都那么纠结
You didn't want to go to a wedding with him
你不想陪他去参加婚礼
because you didn't want to make small talk?
就因为不愿意和别人聊天是吗
That's how I met Gloria.
我就是这样认识歌洛莉亚的
Do you remember the first thing I said to you?
还记得我对你说的第一句话吗
Yes. "I like chocolate,
记得 "我喜欢巧克力
I like fruit, but not together."
我喜欢水果 但不喜欢两样加在一起"
You couldn't come up with that, lvy League? And you.
常青藤高材生 你忍不了是吗 还有你
You would be a lot happier if you weren't
你要是不那么完美主义
so obsessed with everything being perfect.
就会活得开心得多
Look at us here all in white. What are we, a cricket team?
瞧瞧我们一身白 什么东西 板球队吗
News flash. Life is not perfect, Claire.
告诉你吧 生活本就不完美 克莱尔
Now calm the hell down.
现在都给我冷静下来
Okay, Dad, that's great, and that's really easy for you to say.
好吧老爸 很好 对你来说当然轻松
But do you think I like being like this?
但你以为是我想这样吗
No, I don't.
并非如此
So if you have some quick-and-easy fix,
所以如果你有什么良方
why don't you just give it to me right now?
何不现在就说来听听
- Jay! - Oh, my God.
-杰 -我的老天
I- I got this, baby.
看我的 宝贝
No. What did- What did you do?
不 你干 你干什么
Now two people are dirty.
现在两个人都弄脏了
Well, three.
三个
Okay, you know what?
好吧 你自找的
That's for "Kitschy."
谁叫你说"庸俗不堪"
Mud fight!
泥巴大战
No. Don't do that. No, no, no! Stop it!
别这样 别别 停下
Everybody get back in line. Come on, guys, stop.
大家都站好 都听话 别闹了
Damn it. Damn it! Guys!
可恶 你们
Excuse me.
不好意思
Are we still doing this?
你们到底拍不拍了
No. No, we're not.
不 不拍了
- Now we are. - We're ready!
-现在拍吧 -准备好咯
- Say "cheese." - Say "cheese"!
-说"茄子" -"茄子"
Back in '68, when I was sweeping up hair in that barbershop,
68年我在理发店扫头发的时候
I had this mental picture of the family that,
我曾幻想今后自己家庭的样子
if I was lucky enough,
如果够走运的话
one day I would end up with- perfect wife, perfect kids.
有一天我会坐拥完美的妻子 完美的孩子
Guess what. I didn't get any of that.
结果呢 我没那运气
Wound up with this sorry bunch.
最后捞到这么一群二货
And I'm thankful for that every day.
可我每天都对此充满感激
Well, most days.
大部分时候吧
I think I'm just gonna go with the Elvis stuff.
我还是就提猫王艾维斯的事好了
Yeah. I would.
换我也会
Uh, to the right. To the right.
右边点 右边点
A skosh to the left.
稍微往左一点点
There we go.
对了
Whatever. I'm gonna have to take the picture down
不管了 反正重刷墙壁的时候
when I repaint the wall anyhow.
还是得把这幅照片取下来的
- Kill me now. - What?
-杀了我吧 -什么
Don't know how I got so lucky.
我真是太幸运了
I love you.
爱你
- I love that picture. - Yeah.
-我喜欢这张照片 -是啊
- Is that a chip on the frame right there? - No. No.
-相框那里是有个缺口吗 -没有没有
- I can see it. - Honey.
-我看得到 -亲爱的