Power has always been a deadly narcotic,
RadioShack's Tandy 1000 SL
was my drug of choice.
With an Intel 8086
running at eight megahertz
and a five-and-a-quarter-inch floppy drive,
there was nothing I couldn't do.
From adding snazzy graphics to my homework...
...to easily alphabetizing
my list of enemies and their crimes.
Sheldon, time to go.
We really need to get one of these.
What on earth do we need a computer for?
Yeah, we got you and your big head.
But we can get so much accomplished.
I could use a spreadsheet program
to keep track of your expenses.
I do that in the back of my checkbook.
Yes, but does your checkbook go "Beep" when you open it?
Plus, the computer can organize your recipes.
But my recipes are organized.
Like a cave person.
Cave Mom. I'm gonna call you that.
It doesn't matter, Sheldon.
We can't afford a computer.
Sure we can. It's only $998,
and Dave says we can buy it on easy monthly payments.
Stay out of this, Dave.
We got to get home.
Sheldon, I said no.
I can make you a good deal on the floor model, mrs. Cooper.
Seriously, Dave, you're getting on my nerves.
说真的 戴夫 你要惹毛我了
You bought Missy a Ring Pop.
- And I'm worth every penny. - Let's go.
We're living paycheck to paycheck.
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
♪ 世上没人比我强壮 ♪
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
♪ 昨天我移了一座山 ♪
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
♪ 我相信我能当你的英雄 ♪
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪
- Ah, RadioShack. - Ah, RadioShack.
Here it is, the Tandy 1000 SL computer system.
Sheldon was going on and on about that thing today.
I've never seen one so easy to use.
Greetings. Need directions back to your planet?
This technology is more advanced than we thought.
You know that movie E.T.?
The kid who finds him, his name is Elliott,
which starts with an "E" And ends with a "T."
I don't think so.
You're gonna live with us forever, aren't you?
So, Sheldon wants a computer?
Ever since he could talk.
But now more than ever.
Well, he should get a job after school.
Save up and buy one.
Get a job? He's nine.
I mowed lawns when I was his age.
Made pretty good money.
You want Sheldon to mow lawns?
He's so pale, five minutes in the sun,
he'd burst into flames.
I would pay to see that.
I hope you told him we can't afford it.
I could buy it for him,
and then y'all could pay me back when you can.
Okay, Connie, now you're just insulting me.
好吧 康妮 你这话就等于在羞辱我
Well, that was not my intention,
but I'm glad to hear it.
I can pay my own bills
and take care of my family.
There are expenses we could cut back on
so we could afford a computer.
You mean like the money you give to church?
No, I mean like the money you give
to the Lone Star Beer company.
- Shut up. - Shut up, pumpkin.
-闭嘴 -闭嘴 小南瓜
We're not getting a computer.
We don't need your money.
Where are you going?
To get a... glass of milk.
He's lying. He's getting a beer.
Why are you still up?
Madame Curie is on the roof,
and she's not wearing her hat.
You're just dreaming, baby.
But she'll be cold without her hat.
I'll give her mine. Now you go to sleep.
I'm guessing we're not having our once-a-week.
Sorry, I only have relations with gentlemen I like.
Oh, come on. You know how I feel
about your mother meddlin' in our finances.
She wasn't meddlin', she was offering to help.
And that computer is not some silly toy.
Sheldon could use it for his schoolwork,
and I could use it to... organize my recipes.
You already got 'em organized on those little cards.
Yeah, like a cave person.
Well, it doesn't matter.
We can't afford it, end of story.
Not exactly end of story.
I've been setting money aside the last couple of years,
and this might be a good use for it.
You know, here and there.
Bookkeeping for the church,
some seamstress work,
birthday money from my Aunt Zelda.
And just how much of this "Here and there" money
Well, seeing as it's my money,
I don't think that's any of your business.
None of my business?
You see every nickel I make, and you got secret money?
It's not secret. I just told you.
Where you hiding it?
Well, now you're headed into secret territory.
Just so I'm clear, my money's our money,
but your money's your money.
Oh, good to know.
I'm glad we're not having our once-a-week
'cause I am not in the mood.
That was uncalled for.
I forgot to tell you, a girl called for you.
I don't know. A girl.
Well, what'd she say?
It's hard to remember. This was months ago.
You've got to be kidding me.
Don't worry, I didn't use your money.
Finish your dinner
and then pack a bag.
We are going to Meemaw's.
Because your mom and dad need a break from each other.
I don't know. Just pack.
Will I need earmuffs?
Sure, if you want.
Although my almanac does predict mild temperatures.
Then don't bring it.
I'll just bring my almanac.
You know what, I'll bring both.
Should I pack my toothbrush
or use the one I keep at Meemaw's?
I don't want to go to Meemaw's house.
What if that girl calls back?
Fine, then stay here with your father.
Sheldon and Missy, we are out of here in half an hour.
谢尔顿 米希 我们半小时后就走
Not a lot of time to pick a toothbrush.
Mom and Dad need a break.
We don't know how long.
What's he got in there?
I ain't never getting married.
- That so? - Yeah.
Women are nothing but trouble.
Hello, Georgie speaking.
Did you run to the phone? Do you feel stupid?
This little tiff between your mom and me will blow over.
Don't make a big deal of it.
I'm not. I'm just saying
I'm better suited to the single life.
And how do you picture that?
Okay, well, you know the buffet at Golden Corral,
where there's all kinds of choices
and you can have as much as you want?
It'll be like that, only with hot girls.
Georgie, I'll bet you a thousand dollars
you're married before you're 25.
I feel like i'm stealing your money.
Georgie married his first wife at 19.
He never paid my father.
Well, I got to tell you how happy I am
that y'all are spending the night with me.
Your house smells like cigarettes.
Sheldon, we've talked about this.
You don't need to announce to people how things smell.
All right, you two, settle in.
Are you and Dad gonna get a divorce?
Are you sure? Packing up your kids
in the middle of the night and moving in with your mom
has all the earmarks of a divorce.
We're not getting a divorce.
I can't believe Mom and Dad had a fight over beer.
I don't think the fight was about beer.
I think there was more subtext.
You're probably right.
Then again, I don't know what subtext is.
I don't want to get in your business,
but since you're getting in my bed,
- I'm getting in your business. - Go ahead.
That wasn't a joke.
I love you, and I love the kids,
but I love you better living across the street.
Sorry the end of my marriage is inconveniencing you.
Oh, don't be so dramatic.
It's a little spat.
No, this was a long time coming.
This goes to the very core of our relationship.
I see we're sticking with dramatic.
The minute he found out I had money set aside,
he felt threatened. And you know why?
'Cause it meant that I can live independent of him.
Sleeping in your mommy's bed?
You know what I mean.
You gonna buy Sheldon that computer?
Well, now I have to.
You do know I still have an active love life.
On this very bed.
What's for breakfast?
I don't know. Grab a bowl of cereal.
Mom usually makes us eggs and toast
and the occasional meat.
Well, Mom isn't here, is she?
Whoa. Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
And you had a choice 'cause you had the whole bed.
Walking on thin ice.
Maybe you should go across the street and apologize.
'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent.
What's Nixon got to do with it?
You said "Bad president," like Nixon.
You know, this guy.
You going to apologize?
If you are, bring back meat!
Hey. I hope you're happy.
Thank you, Georgie. That's very kind.
谢谢你 小乔治 你真好
Mom and Dad are fighting because you want to get a stupid computer.
What are you talking about?
Mom wanted to buy it for you,
Dad said they couldn't afford it,
Meemaw offered to pay for it,
and now I'm eating pineapple spears for lunch.
I hate making my own lunch.
I'm sorry, Georgie, I didn't know.
对不起 小乔治 我不知道
Yeah, well, now you do.
A turkey sandwich Mom cut in the shape of a heart,
a fruit cup, a brownie,
and a note from Meemaw saying how much she loves me.
I haven't read it yet, but I bet it's a lot.
I don't even have a can opener.
Oh, Sugar Apple, I love you so much.
Your affection for inanimate objects frightens me.
I'm glad you're happy, Missy.
I'm even happier that I got a toy, and Sheldon got nothin'.
Well, now, we're not exactly done shopping.
Sheldon, you still want that computer?
I thought we couldn't afford it.
Don't you worry about that.
Do you want it or not?
More than anything.
All right, then, let's go get it.
Wait. He gets a computer and I get a lousy toy?
等等 他能得到电脑 而我只有破玩具吗
I thought you liked it.
Where's the water come out of?
Well, seeing as that's the dryer, nowhere.
So this one's the washer?
What are you doing?
Separating the whites from the colors.
Whoa, that's racist.
How did I get a rocket scientist for one son
and a rodeo clown for the other?
Oh, man. I'd give anything to be a rodeo clown.
They make people happy,
and they see the rodeo for free.
The home computer I had long coveted
was finally in my possession,
but it was also destroying my home.
Thankfully, it came pre-loaded
with a program to help solve personal problems.
Hello, I am Eliza.
I see. Can you elaborate on that?
my dad... says... we can't...
我爸 说 我们
Do you have issues with your mother?
Can you elaborate on that?
going to help me or not?
Hello, I am Eliza.
The future might be overrated.
Okay, water's definitely on.
We want delicate or regular?
It doesn't matter, just turn it on.
Let's go with delicate to be safe.
Wait, I know what to do.
Go across the street and apologize to Mom.
I got nothin' to apologize for.
You don't have to mean it. I never do.
Georgie, just mind your business.
In case you were wondering,
I didn't mean that.
See how easy it is?
These home computers are amazing.
I could start a real bookkeeping business with that thing.
And that would go a long way to giving you
the financial independence you're looking for.
Just for your information,
Sheldon is using the computer right now
to try and fix your marriage.
"Get out of your mother's house."
- Mom. - I'm serious.
I want a cigarette, and I'm tired of hiding behind the garage.
You think I should apologize to George?
Well, of course not. That would set a terrible precedent.
I think you should go back over there
to pick up some clothes for the kids
and be all cold and distant,
so he has to apologize to you.
Oh, that's not bad.
Why you drinking tea?
Were you coming back, or... ?
Just to get some clothes for the kids.
Were you coming to talk to me?
...wanted to apologize.
Want to go for a walk?
Hey, kids, come here.
It looks like your mom and dad are gonna be all right.
Does this mean we're going home?
I didn't even get to wear my earmuffs yet.
And this program will allow us to track our family finances,
create a budget, and prepare tax documents.
Would you like to know how much money
you spend on beer annually?
- No. ?- I would. ?
If you switched to Hawaiian Punch,
we could live in a bigger house.
Hello, I am Eliza.
In your fantasies, am I hot?
You realize you're not talking to a real person.
Hey, get out of here. I'm about to score.
Missy! Turn off the computer.
Time to go to bed.
I got to finish my homework!
Big money, big money.
- What? - What? Nothing.
-怎么了 -什么 没事
Button, you pull. That's stupid.