The average American consumes
55 pounds of beef per year.
And then there's Texas,
where we can knock that off in a couple of months.
Maybe faster, if we're talking about smoked brisket...
...curiously, the one cut of beef
that Texans and Jews agree upon.
This is really good, Meemaw.
You're spitting the best brisket in Texas
all over the damn table.
Close your mouth when you eat.
Or aim your face the other way.
Connie, one of these days, you got to give me the recipe.
You bet. For sure.
- One of these days. - Oh, come on.
You can't hold on to it forever.
Mean that much to you?
Mary and I were dating about a month
when she brought me home for dinner.
I took one bite of this brisket,
and I knew I loved your daughter.
Kind of like Sleeping Beauty, except Dad kissed meat.
piece of paper and a pencil,
I'll write it down for you.
Okay. It's happening...
That's the fastest I've seen him run.
It's the only time I've seen him run.
I might make it this weekend.
Or you could try a vegetable.
Vegetable? That's funny.
Now, this is for your eyes only.
You're not to share it with anybody.
I never-- I would never.
You're a horrible person.
I want to know what it said.
- Me, too. - Just eat.
You are a horrible person.
All right, that's enough about the brisket.
You kids excited for the church picnic tomorrow?
- Not really. - I don't know.
You all saw the flier. The three "F"s:
food, fun and fellowship.
有吃 有玩 友谊
And I'm bringing a big slab of my brisket.
15 years in this family, and all the time I've been nothing
but a good, supportive son-in-law.
I always treated your daughter right,
I gave you three beautiful grandchildren.
Only thing I ever asked in return was that damn recipe.
Get another piece of paper. I'll write it down.
Don't mess with me, Connie.
Get the paper before I change my mind.
You're gonna do it to him again, aren't you?
I kind of have to.
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
♪ 世上没人比我强壮 ♪
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
♪ 昨天我移了一座山 ♪
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
♪ 我相信我能当你的英雄 ♪
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪
George, she was just fooling with you.
No, no, she's mean.
没 不是 她就是损
She got a black heart.
Why do you always side with her?
Well, she is my mother.
There's the problem.
You should be siding with me.
- Over brisket? - It's not just brisket.
It's the way she's been treating me since day one.
Like I'm some kind of loser, a booby prize.
- "Booby prize." - What was that?
Georgie, you mind your own business.
Mom and Dad are fighting.
If they get a divorce, who do you think
you'll pick to live with?
Well, Mom, of course.
I want Mom. Pick again.
I thought Dad was coming.
No, he had work to do.
What kind of work? I don't know. Coaching stuff.
什么工作 不知道 教练的事情吧
Can't he do it after the picnic?
- No, Missy, he cannot. - Why not?
-他没办法啊 米希 -为什么
How come Georgie's not going?
He's grounded for eavesdropping on me and your father.
Well, I hope he learned his lesson.
Is this about the recipe?
I bet he's mad 'cause you always side with Meemaw.
And how would you know that?
Are you and Dad getting a divorce?
Well, if you do, I want to live with you.
Sheldon, no one's getting a divorce.
But thank you, honey.
You know this all goes away
if you just give him your recipe for the brisket.
I guess it's not going away.
And I wasn't eavesdropping.
Don't worry about it.
I just don't see why I got grounded.
What are you complaining about?
You didn't want to go to church picnic anyway.
I like complaining. I'm good at it.
I'll be right back.
Mind if I have a sip of your beer?
You mind if I dip your head in the compost heap?
You could have just said no.
Nothing! Get out of here.
You're looking for her brisket recipe.
All of a sudden you got smart?
I said get out of here.
I won't tell, I swear.
All right, help me look.
No, this is her French toast.
You're not looking for French toast.
She does make it good, though.
Did you know she puts vanilla extract in her whipped cream?
- Georgie? - Yeah?
We're looking for brisket!
I'm cool. You be cool.
He thought I wrote it down.
...hair tonic. Hair tonic.
Need help putting the kids down?
No, thank you, I've been taking care of them all day.
不用了 谢谢 我自己照顾了他们一天
I think I can finish the job.
Oh, come on, don't do that.
Just so you know, Sheldon and Missy won
the three-legged race because she told him
a bee was chasing them, and you missed it.
I'm sorry, I-I just needed a break from your mother.
Yeah, well, you took a break from your family.
How long is this feud between you two gonna go on?
You are both such...
You don't know it's me.
I brought you a cold one.
I still don't like you.
Would this change your feelings?
The Holy Grail.
What changed your mind?
You not going to the picnic today,
that hurt Mary and the twins.
I cannot have that on my heart.
- Is that so? - Absolutely.
Look me in the eye and tell me
this is the actual recipe.
George, what you have in your hand
is the exact step-by-step instructions
on how to make my brisket.
I have never written it down until tonight because...
I was afraid someone might steal it.
But I'm entrusting this to you,
and I hope that someday, when the time is right,
you will see fit to share it with one of your children.
Connie, I don't know what to say.
Don't call me Connie.
You're welcome, son.
The next morning, my dad embarked on a doomed quest
to make the perfect brisket.
Matter of fact, you can.
I need 12 pounds of prime Angus with a medium deckle,
ideally slaughtered in the spring, no later than mid-June.
For the spice rub,
Meemaw had him drive to New Orleans
to buy ground coffee from Cafe Du Monde,
and seven ounces of something called "holy ghost root"
from a voodoo woman named Madam Laveau.
Could you grind my root for me?
I-I'm-a... I'm-a rub it on brisket.
Then back home, he applied the spice rub
with such erotic tenderness,
it made my mother a little jealous.
Finally, the cooking began.
14 hours of cooking.
And tending to the fire.
Until it was finally time to let the meat rest.
Rest, my darling.
Mmm. This Cafe Du Monde coffee is very good.
They make it with chicory.
And what does it do to the brisket?
Then why did you send George all the way to New Orleans?
Well, they don't sell this around here.
15 years and 14 hours later.
Best brisket in Texas.
Connie, you evil bitch!
It's smoother than regular coffee.
That wasn't the recipe.
You looked me in the eye, and you lied to me.
You broke into my home and tried to steal it.
You told her we went over there?
I didn't say nothing. I was cool.
I am loving this.
I don't want this woman in my house anymore.
- She is my mother. - She is the devil.
And what if the kids want to see her?
Schedule it for when I'm not here.
Or when I'm dead.
And quit drinking my coffee.
Turn off your train, we've got to talk.
Mom is so upset about Dad and Meemaw,
she might want a divorce.
No one's getting divorced.
Great, now I have to throw that out.
Mother-in-laws are always held in low regard by the father.
It rarely leads to a breakup of the family.
Fred and Wilma are still happily married.
I think if we can figure out
a way for Dad to get Meemaw's brisket recipe,
this all goes away.
I don't see how we can accomplish that.
Open wide, Moonpie.
Here comes the choo choo train.
Mmm. Isn't that good?
That's Meemaw's famous brisket.
Would you like the secret recipe?
You promise not to tell anybody?
Of course you're not gonna tell anybody.
I start with a tablespoon of cumin,
and then a cup of brown sugar, and...
I know the recipe.
February 14, 1982.
I was 23 months old, it was Valentine's Day,
and Mom and Dad went out for dinner.
You were there. Don't you remember?
You can really remember when you were that little?
Uh-huh. You were there, too.
You were still struggling with potty training.
Oh, yes. Meemaw used to call you Mr. Soggy Pants.
Quit it. This is serious.
Sheldon, you've got to tell Dad that recipe.
But Meemaw told me it was a secret.
If you don't, and Mom and Dad get a divorce, it's your fault.
你如果不说 等爸妈离婚了 就是你的错
Good job, Soggy Pants.
Dad, could you please come into the living room?
My brain did something impressive
and I'd like to share it with you.
What are you doing here?
I want to see what his brain did.
I know Meemaw's brisket recipe.
And in order to bring peace to this family,
I'm prepared to make it public.
One tablespoon of cumin,
one cup of brown sugar,
two tablespoons of smoked paprika...
Okay, okay, stop.
好了 好了 停
No, no, no. Keep going.
How do you know the recipe, Shelly?
Meemaw told it to me on Valentine's Day, 1982.
You were out with Dad seeing Cannonball Run
at the dollar theater.
That's impossible, you weren't even two years old.
Three tablespoons of dried mustard,
one cup of Lone Star beer...
Give it to your father.
I can write it down for you.
That's okay, I don't want it.
You have got to be kidding me.
Connie, you've had every opportunity
to give me that recipe and you never did,
because you've always treated me like an outsider.
Oh, of course I have.
See? She admits it.
Never thought you were good enough for my daughter.
There you were, riding around on that dumb motorcycle,
Why don't you kids go in the kitchen
and fix yourselves some ice cream?
I'm not going anywhere.
I have a daughter.
I wouldn't want her bringing home someone like that.
But I've come a hell of a long way since then.
Okay, you're right.
That means more to me than any recipe.
Don't let the hug fool you.
The minute she went home, he made me give him the recipe.
Here we go, maiden voyage.
Uh, no, thank you. I'm not hungry.
不用了 谢谢 我不饿