It's typical for young people to admire rock stars.
For my sister, it was Cyndi Lauper.
For my brother, it was Bon Jovi.
Well, Jon, we look good.
For me, the rock star I admired most was...
Did you know Einstein loved playing the violin?
He believed music helped him formulate his theories.
Einstein was arguably the greatest scientific mind
of the 20th century.
If music helped him, maybe it could help me.
I got to go talk to my mom.
- Everything okay? - Yeah,
she's just got some problems she's dealing with.
Kind of personal. Will you make the kids lunch?
- Ah, do I have to? - George?
What do y'all want for lunch?
Peanut butter and jelly, please.
Tuna salad on rye toast,
with sliced pickles and...
Two PBJs, got it.
- Well... - Well, what?
- I'm trying to say it. - You woke me up.
Spill it or I'm going back to bed.
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
♪ 世上没人比我强壮 ♪
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
♪ 昨天我移了一座山 ♪
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
♪ 我相信我能当你的英雄 ♪
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪
- How late? - Two days.
Oh, two days. That's nothing.
Last time I was two days late, I had the twins.
Last time I was two days late, I had menopause.
Just trying to lighten the mood.
reason to think that you might be?
Well, we try to be safe, but... you know,
heat of the moment.
Still? After three kids and that beer belly
还能吗 都生三个了 还有他那个
- hanging over his pants? - Mom?
I think you might be getting way ahead of yourself.
I'm telling you, I just know.
You were also convinced that Georgie was gonna be a girl.
Although he does have very pretty hair.
I'd like to learn to play the violin.
Really? Well, that's terrific.
Do you have any experience with stringed instruments?
Stringed instruments, no.
String theory, yes.
That was a joke. I'm a joker.
I think I have an old violin you can take home
and get the feel of.
But I have to warn you,
it can be a frustrating instrument to learn.
- Can you play it? - Yes.
Where do you keep your pregnancy tests?
- Mom. - Behind the counter at the pharmacy.
Would you please be a little more discreet?
She doesn't know it's for you.
Well, it sure isn't for you.
- I can't. - Why not?
His daughter goes to Missy's school.
You are being ridiculous.
I don't need the world knowing my business.
- Hi, can I help you? - Yes.
Uh, I need a... pregnancy test.
We have a few options.
Oh, you-you pick.
Is that a pregnancy test?
- Really? - Yes.
I come from a long line of really fertile women.
My mother had me when she was 57.
I don't think I can.
Dr. Sturgis and I have been dating
for some time and we really try to be careful,
but you know how it is.
Heat of the moment.
Are you playing hide-and-seek?
Don't tell anybody. Shh.
Bye, Mrs. Cooper!
Thank you so much. Bye.
It's a bit worn. But it's fine for a beginner.
That was unpleasant.
It just takes some practice.
Very well. When is my first lesson?
I'm... pretty busy right now.
But I can give you this in the meantime.
Anyone Can Play Violin.
They don't set the bar very high.
You know what you need to do?
It'd be a lot easier to pee if you'd stop talking.
Now it's too quiet. Say something.
I know you didn't expect this,
and you still might not be, but...
but if it turns out you are...
I'm here for you.
You're not the one I'm worried about.
If I'm pregnant, George is gonna flip out.
I'm sure he would at first.
Then he would calm down.
Maybe some malt liquor.
The truth is, he and I were both
freaked out about having twins.
But now I can't imagine life without them.
Well, see, there you are.
So, no matter what that test says,
you're gonna be okay.
I'm gonna go buy that malt liquor.
To get started, place your violin in rest position.
Your feet should be together.
Your right arm should be over your instrument,
not touching the strings or the bridge.
- Put your left hand... - What are you doing?
What does it look like?
Like you're looking for another excuse for kids to pick on you.
Now, you are ready to position your feet.
Zip your feet open and step forward
with your left foot.
- Your feet should... - What are you doing?
I was gonna watch DuckTales, but this looks funnier.
...procedure for positioning the violin on your shoulder.
Hold your violin above the left foot
with the neck of the instrument pointing up.
Left foot, neck up.
Now rotate the neck of the instrument counterclockwise,
so that the neck points at your left foot.
- Oh, boy. - I was right.
Bend your left elbow so that the violin
rests on your shoulder
and place your head on the chin rest.
Now try dropping your left hand.
See if you can hold your instrument without your hands.
- Time yourself at this... - What's going on?
I'm learning to play the violin.
It's my new favorite show.
Once you feel you have control of your instrument,
try moving your hands around.
Repeat this procedure until you can position
your instrument comfortably and quickly.
He'll just be another minute.
What's that about?
Just trying not to breathe the smoke in.
It already went through the filter and my lungs.
This stuff is squeaky clean.
He's all yours, your highness.
Hey, Mare, what's up? Other than the big guy.
玛丽 除了上头的"大老板" 你怎么也上我这了
Actually, um, I could use some guidance.
I got some news today,
and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it.
Well... I am...
How far along are you?
Uh, could you keep it down just a little?
I haven't exactly told George yet.
Got it. And why not?
Hey, I'm a pastor in a small town.
You wouldn't believe the juicy things I hear.
This just wasn't part of our plan.
Well, luckily... it's part of God's plan.
And let me tell you about another Mary
who didn't know how to tell her husband she was expecting.
And her story is way weirder than yours.
In order to practice this, move your bow
in a counterclockwise direction.
Keep your hand moving right with the tip of the bow.
For our next song,
"Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,"
remember, posture is our most important thing.
Did you hear that? I did it!
I don't think you did.
And now we see how it helps my science.
Probably needs more "Twinkle, Twinkle."
...for learning new songs.
You can play them along with me.
What the hell is that?
Sheldon's learning to play the violin.
Oh. Well, that's unfortunate.
I'm gonna go change.
Can you believe I only started playing today?
Hey, so there's something
I've been meaning to talk to you about.
Now, before I say it, um,
I want to tell you a story of another Mary.
Are you kidding me?
Keep your voice down.
Are you kidding me?
Look, I was a little thrown, too, but Pastor Jeff said...
Pastor Jeff knows before me?
Well, yeah, I needed someone to talk to,
- and, you know, my mom... - Your mom?
Does the whole damn town know?
No. Just my mom and Pastor Jeff.
And maybe Brenda Sparks.
and whoever she told, but that is it.
Not a good time, Sheldon.
But it's really important.
I figured out why the violin worked for Einstein
I need to become a Jewish person.
- Sheldon, dinner! - Coming.
-谢尔顿 吃晚饭了 -来了
Sorry I'm late. Shalom.
What's on your head?
- A yarmulke. - A yama-what?
It's a special Jewish hat.
It reminds the wearer that God is always over you.
Oh, come on, it's funny.
It's not funny and it's not a yarmulke.
It is a coaster I crocheted at Bible camp.
Are you gonna say something to him?
Normally I would, but I got bigger problems right now.
- Let's just say grace. - Hold on.
Are these hot dogs kosher?
Over the next few days,
I continued to play the violin
in an effort to replicate the mental prowess of Einstein.
I was asked to confine my practice to the garage
我父亲 母亲 姐姐和哥哥
by my father, mother, sister and brother.
Meemaw was fine with me practicing in the house,
but why would she care? She doesn't live with us.
Let me guess, you're here to complain
about Sheldon's violin playing.
Under normal circumstances, I'd say yeah,
but since he started,
my chickens been dropping eggs like crazy.
- That's weird. - Hey, uh,
I hear congratulations are in order.
What's that you hear?
Maybe I didn't hear it. Never mind.
Seems like everybody knows.
You don't seem terribly enthusiastic.
It's the money, Herschel.
It's all about the money.
Well, there's only one solution to that.
- Which is? - You got to make more money.
- Thank you. - Welcome.
did that fiddle playing increase the fertility in all the females
around here or just my chickens?
I was just throwing it out there, never mind.
Wait here, I'm-a go get you some eggs.
- That's okay. - You're getting eggs.
Guess I'm getting eggs.
what's so damn important?
I don't want to get into the why's and wherefore's,
but I'm gonna need a raise.
Is this 'cause Mary's pregnant?
You got to be kidding me.
Does everybody in this damn town know my business?
I just-- it was taking a guess.
- Tom. - My wife told me.
Doesn't matter. What do you say?
Are you threatening to quit if you don't get it?
- No, Tom, I'm threatening to rob a bank. - Okay.
-不 汤姆 我会威胁去打劫银行 -好吧
All right, well, let's not do that.
$100 a week do the trick?
Yes. Thanks. Bye.
够了 谢谢你 再见
how can I help you?
Hello, I'd like to become Jewish.
Who would be in charge of that?
- I'm ten. - Please hold.
Hello, this is Rabbi Schneiderman.
To whom am I speaking?
Hello, this is Sheldon Cooper.
Hello, Sheldon. Um, how can I help you?
你好 谢尔顿 有什么能帮你的吗
I'm currently a Baptist and I'd like to convert to Judaism.
A Baptist named Sheldon.
And why do you want to convert?
Very simple. It's my intention to become a great scientist
and I couldn't help but notice most of the great scientists
are Jewish, so logic dictates it's time to switch teams.
Well, I'm sure there are
many Baptist scientists you could emulate.
That's kind of you to say,
but other than Cornelis Drebbel in the 1500s,
it's pretty slim pickings.
Well, Sheldon, you sound like a very smart young man.
Oh, you have no idea.
Can I ask how your parents feel about this?
Well, when I presented them with my plan,
the words "over my dead body" were used.
But they were similarly resistant
when I wanted to get an ant farm
and eventually they came around.
All right, here's what I'm gonna tell you to do.
Read your Bible.
Already did, cover to cover.
- Really? - Quiz me.
No, that's okay, I believe you.
All right, my advice to you
is to stay with the faith of your parents.
- What else you got? - Okay.
Then I'm gonna tell you
But I want to be a great scientist like Albert Einstein.
when your days are over,
God will never ask you,
"Why weren't you Einstein?"
But he might ask you,
"Why weren't you Sheldon?"
What's going on? You all right?
I'm not feeling great.
Is it a pregnant thing?
'Cause I got some good news on that.
I got a decent raise.
What do you mean it doesn't matter?
We can pull this off now.
You're probably relieved, huh?
I love the first three.
Fourth one's a charm, right?
I just thought you should know I'm not going to be Jewish.
I'm going to remain the atheist Baptist you've come to love.
Yeah, but don't worry, everything's okay.
是啦 不过别担心 一切都好
Once again, I brought my mother so much joy
she was moved to tears. I don't know how I do it.
Tom, George Cooper's here for you.
Hey, Tom, you got a minute?
It turns out I don't need that raise.
What happened, you win the lottery?
Aw, George, I am so sorry.
Well, what can you do?
Listen, I cleared your raise already,
why don't you just keep the money.
- Oh, no, I couldn't do that. - No.
-不 我不能那么做 -不
No, I mean it. It's yours.
Thank you, but I will no longer be needing these.
You're giving up so soon?
- What happened? Did it hurt your fingers? - No.
-怎么了 你练到手指痛吗 -不
I'm following the advice of a very wise Rabbi Schneiderman
from Temple Judea in Houston.
Is this another one of your jokes?
No. If it were a joke, your mouth would be open
不是 如果这是笑话 你就会张大嘴
and the sound "Ha-ha" would be coming out.