Living in a small Texas town,
a few things are guaranteed:
someone nearby will have chickens...
- George... - Yeah?
Go shoot those chickens.
Everyone will know your business.
You sure you want to eat that?
I heard your triglycerides are through the roof.
My brother plays poker with your doctor.
But on the brighter side, in a small Texas town,
people take care of each other.
You know that Veronica Duncan girl?
- The one that Georgie likes? - Yeah.
I was thinking about having her stay here for a couple days.
- Is it Georgie's birthday or something? - No.
-小乔治要生日吗 这么大礼 -不是啦
She's just having a rough time at home.
Her mother's boyfriend has a drinking problem,
and... things have been getting out of hand.
You waited till I had a beer to tell me this story, didn't you?
You always have a beer.
We're gonna have a houseguest for a couple days.
Oh, not Aunt Ruth.
Her beard is very scratchy.
My sister doesn't have a beard.
It's not Aunt Ruth!
It's Veronica Duncan.
And while she's here,
I expect y'all to be on your best behavior.
Why are you looking at me?
Yeah, and you still are.
Where is she going to sleep?
She can have my room. I'm fine on the couch.
Why is she staying with us?
Because she needs to be out of her house for a few days.
Because her family is dealing with
some personal business.
- What personal business? - Well...
I heard her mama's boyfriend is a drunk.
Where did you hear that?
Mom told you outside and I heard it.
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
♪ 世上没人比我强壮 ♪
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
♪ 昨天我移了一座山 ♪
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
♪ 我相信我能当你的英雄 ♪
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪
I plan on it, Richard.
Did you know that word "Hello" wasn't used as a greeting
- until the invention of the telephone? - Hi, John.
-才被用来当问候语的吗 -你好 约翰
To end a phone call,
it was suggested to say, "That is all."
Is that all, John?
No, I wanted to invite you to dinner tomorrow night.
Great. Where we going?
I can't tell you that. It's a surprise.
You want to give me a clue so I'll know how to dress?
Well, dress as if you were going to a Mexican restaurant.
Oh, we're going to Puerta Roja.
I can't tell you that, it would ruin the surprise.
John, you do realize that I'll be the one driving us there.
Fine, we're going to Puerta Roja, but everything else
行 去的地方是没错 但其他的细节
One more time! Come on!
Sorry, Axl. You'll be back.
抱歉了 埃克索尔 之后再挂回来
Documenting. This may never happen again.
- Don't open it. - But what's in there?
Are you wearing cologne?
Georgie, I have the olfactory senses of a polar bear.
They can smell a seal through three feet of ice.
He's exhibiting Zahavian signaling theory.
- Is that from Star Trek? - No, biology.
He's trying to communicate his more desirable qualities
in order to attract Veronica.
Too bad he doesn't have any desirable qualities.
Be the Danza. Be the Danza.
- Be the Danza. - What a doofus.
Thank you for having me, Mrs. Cooper.
- Hi. - Let me take your bag.
- Are you wearing Old Spice? - Don't worry about it.
Here, let me show you around.
Of course you remember the living room,
where we have our prayer group.
And this is the dining room. That's where we'll dine.
But in the mornings, we dine in the kitchen.
Of course, if you'd like a snack,
that'd be in the refrigerator or the pantry.
- You know, where your snack foods would be. - Sure.
-你懂的 就是正常储存零食的地方 -没问题
Plus, we got those little sheets that smell nice
and fight static cling.
- And here's our entertainment room. - Hey, guys.
We don't have cable, but we do have
all three major broadcast networks.
Here's the bathroom, for hygiene and whatnot.
And... here's where you'll be sleeping.
- Did I take your room? - Yes,
but I'll be on the couch.
Which is right near the TV and the kitchen,
Hello. I'm John Sturgis.
We have a reservation.
Was a reservation really necessary?
I didn't want to take any chances.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
I sit in that seat.
What's going on?
Don't you remember?
John, I don't even remember where I just parked.
I'm recreating our first date!
The same restaurant, the same table,
Different eyelashes, though, because
they regenerate every two to three months.
Mine are the same, actually.
I wanted this night to be special
because it's the one-year anniversary of that date.
Is that a thing that people our age celebrate?
No idea. I've never been this age before.
And I've never dated anyone for a whole year.
Sorry for the mess.
I emptied out this drawer so you can put your stuff away.
Where are your clothes?
I threw most of them out.
You didn't have to do that.
It's okay. They were old and full of holes.
And it worked out great.
I found some firecrackers and a bag full of my baby teeth.
Oh. I also hung a cross over the bed for you.
It's just Popsicle sticks and glitter. I glued it together
in Sunday school when I was a kid.
Is-is it too much? I can take it down.
Why are you crying?
Did Georgie bring up your unfortunate home life?
Good. My mom said not to,
so that you would be comfortable.
Are you comfortable?
And I remember how cute you looked
in your little pearl snap shirt with your bolo tie.
Well, I'd say it wasn't my first rodeo, but it was.
Thank you for a wonderful year.
- To many more. - To many more.
Which leads me to the final surprise of the evening.
- What are you doing? - Hang on, I don't want to spoil the surprise.
-你在干什么 -等等 我不想破坏惊喜
Getting down on one knee, it makes it pretty damn clear.
Connie, will you do me the honor of being my wife?
Oh, John, I don't know.
How can you not know? It's a binary decision.
It's more complicated th-than that.
I don't see why. We're compatible.
- I know. - We enjoy each other's company.
- I know. - And we've become extremely proficient in the bedroom.
There's very little wasted effort.
John, sit back down
and lower your voice.
- Down is easier than up. - Sure.
Thank you, God, for this food we're about to receive,
and for the nourishment of our bodies,
and bless the hands that prepared it.
And an extra special thank-you for allowing us
to share our home with our friend Veronica.
- Amen. - Oh, yeah.
That's a big amen on that one.
All right, everybody, dig in.
Would you like a dinner roll?
I find it really rounds out the meal.
- Mom? - Yes, honey?
-妈 -怎么啦 宝贝
Do I have to sit downwind of Georgie's cologne?
So, Veronica, I understand that you're a junior?
Do you have any plans for after high school?
I'm hoping for a scholarship to Baylor
so I can get a teaching degree.
Really? Kids? Ugh.
You're so tall and pretty, you should be Vanna White.
How can she be Vanna White?
Vanna White is Vanna White.
Fine. She can be Vanna Blue.
See? This is the kind of nonsense you have
to deal with when you're around kids.
He does have a point.
No. I-I love this.
We never eat dinner together at my house.
I've already been married once.
I wasn't really planning on ever doing it again.
I was somebody's wife for a long time.
I just like being... Connie Tucker now.
somebody else's name.
Well, what if I took your name?
John Tucker, it sounds great.
Like a football player or an astronaut.
You're missing the point.
I just think it's important for people to know
that we're an official couple.
We don't have to be married for that.
Buy a billboard, take an ad out in the paper.
I understand. Thank you.
But if I should pre-decease you...
I want you to have the ring.
- Fine. - It'll be in the...
top right corner of my dresser drawer.
- Got it. - Under my tube socks.
Hey, Sheldon, what's up?
I printed out my bathroom schedule.
I can't speak for anyone else in this family,
but you can count on it being occupied
during these times.
This is very helpful.
Is there anything else?
There is, but... I'm not allowed to ask about it.
Oh, it's okay. You can ask me anything.
Oh, good. I don't like cats,
but I share their curious nature.
What do you want to know?
Your mom has a boyfriend.
Where is your father?
Why do you not know?
Well, he left when I was really young
and I never heard from him again.
And why are you staying here?
My mom's boyfriend isn't very nice.
I understand. My sister isn't very nice.
Okay, well, talk to you later.
But not between 7:00 and 7:12.
Yup, I see it right here.
I make us a pot of tea and we'll get cozy?
Just make yourself comfy, I-I'll be right back.
Or would you like to go crazy and have a little hibiscus?
Hey, can I join you?
Charles in Charge.
It's kind of like Who's the Boss? But with Chachi.
They should have called it Chachi in Charge.
That's three cha's. I like it.
Georgie, you're so funny.
Not everybody gets me.
Oh, Mom. If you're sleeping with the man,
you should be married to him.
Why do I come here?
I got to find a cooler chick to talk to.
You know I'm right.
I know no such thing.
It's my life, I don't have to do anything
'cause I'm "Supposed to."
I do it because I want to, and right now,
I don't want to, end of story.
- Good morning. - Can I get you some breakfast, honey?
-早上好 -要我给你做早餐吗 亲爱的
How was your anniversary date with Dr. Sturgis?
You knew about that?
- Yes. - So you knew he was gonna propose?
Propose? No, that's wonderful.
求婚 不知道啊 那太好了
Although, it's a little disconcerting he didn't tell me.
I thought we were closer than that.
Well, we're not getting married any time soon.
You should. You're old; you don't have many years left.
你应该结 你老了 没剩下多少年了
I really need to meet a whole new group of people.
Hey, what you doin'?
Helping your mom with laundry.
Oh, yeah. That's usually my job.
Uh, maybe when you're done, we can go down to the mall and hang out.
Oh, I promised your sister I'd take her out for some girl time.
Maybe I can come along.
Then it wouldn't be girl time.
No, not entirely, but it would be mostly.
Take a hint, dummy.
You've reached Dr. John Sturgis.
Leave a message and I'll be in touch.
Thank you very much.
John, I know you're there, pick up.
约翰 我知道你在 接电话
If you don't pick up, I'm gonna get really mad.
I'm getting really mad.
Sorry, I know this isn't the most fun thing in the world.
I was happy just riding
in the front seat of your car.
You probably hear this a lot,
but you're, like, princess pretty.
Oh. I don't know about that.
But you are definitely princess material.
Well, until I'm allowed to wear makeup,
this is as hot as I get.
You don't need makeup.
I hope you're right. Mom says I have to wait till I'm 16.
That'll get here sooner than you think.
Sure doesn't feel like it.
- I'd rather be your age again. - Really?
Being a grown-up is, uh...
Maybe, if we make a wish at the same time
we could switch places.
- You think? - It's worth a try.
What do we need to do?
We close our eyes and at the exact same time say,
"I wish I could switch places."
One... two... three.
一 二 三
- I wish I could switch places. -I wish I could switch places.
I'm still here. You?
- Same. - That's too bad.
I really wanted to drive home.
- Can I anyway? - Sure.
Please, can we keep her?
No, we cannot keep her.
We don't have a dog 'cause of Sheldon,
why can't I have Veronica?
I'm not participating in this conversation.
We could give Sheldon to Veronica's mom.
I'll get it, Mrs. Cooper.
Look how helpful she is. Come on!
Grab your stuff, your mama wants you home.
Yeah, well, when she wants me to come home,
Damn it, Veronica.
I'm in no mood.
I'm taking her home.
She's not going anywhere with you.
- What'd you say? - Clint, stop.
-你说什么 -克林特 住手
You mind putting down my kid?
We were just playing around.
This is my mom's boyfriend, Clint.
Hello, Clint. What can we do for you?
你好 克林特 有什么能效劳
I'm here to pick up Veronica.
You want to go with this man?
Thanks for stopping by.
You really want to mess with me?
What's going on out there?
- You might want to call the police. - Why?
There's a bum sleeping on our front porch.
Connie Tucker is proud to announce
that she is sweet on Dr. John Strugis
and they are officially a romantic couple.
I'm back in business.