马男波杰克 第一季 BoJack Horseman Season 1 第5集: 仓促的生活-戴安·阮 Live Fast, Diane Nguyen

上映日期: 2,014

语言: 英语

影片类型: 剧情 / 喜剧 / 动画

导演: J·C·冈泽尔兹

演员: 亚伦·保尔 / 威尔·阿奈特 / 艾米·塞德丽丝 / 爱丽森·布里 / 保罗·F·汤普金斯 / 帕顿·奥斯瓦尔特 / 克里斯汀·沙尔 / 斯坦利·图齐


台词
神犬巴迪国际机场
Come on!
快点啊
Oh, is it this guy?
是因为它吗
ABC台感谢您
Never travel without it.
我出门永远都带着的
Stop holding up the line, idiot!
别堵着队了好吗 傻屌
It's not his fault. He's just doing his job.
不能怪他 他也是在尽职
It's your fault, dummy.
是怪你 呆逼
I'm sorry, sir, no liquid over three ounces.
抱歉 先生 不能携带超过三盎司液体上机
This is Pappy Van Winkle, friend.
这可是派比·范温克 朋友
Do you know how old this bourbon is?
你知道这波本酒是什么年份的吗
If this was a person,
如果它是人
I would've stopped having sex with it a year ago.
我一年前就不会跟它上床了
I'm sorry, sir.
抱歉 先生
Do you know who I am?
你知道我是谁吗
Come on. Ugh!
快点啊
I'm actually a huge celebrity on my way to New York
我是个要去纽约和出版商
for an important meeting with a book publisher,
进行重要会面的巨星
who wants to publish a book about me because I am famous.
我要出书 因为我是名人
- That's not... - Fine, you want me to dance?
-那不是... -好吧 你想打架是吗
I'll dance.
那我奉陪
Give me ten seconds, Diane.
给我十秒钟 戴安
This guy's being a total Fascist.
这家伙就是个法西斯
Diane?
戴安
- Diane? - Over here, BoJack.
-戴安 -我在这 波杰克
How'd you get through so fast?
你怎么这么快就过去了
I followed the basic requirements for air travel
因为我遵守已经施行超过十年的
that have been in place for over a decade.
基本乘机安全要求
Ugh, weird.
真奇怪
Sir, whoever you are, please...
先生 不管你是谁 请...
Really? You've never heard of my TV show?
真的吗 你没听说过我的电视节目吗
You know very well who I am.
你明知我是谁
And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to New York.
现在 失陪了 我要去纽约
Ah, no.
搞什么啊
More? Come on!
怎么还有
Oh, you know what? Could be this.
你猜怎么着 可能是这个
Oh, my God, he's got a gun.
天呐 他有枪
Relax, it's a lighter.
别怕 这是个打火机
How much lighter fluid can I take on the plane?
我能带多少火机油上飞机啊
And before you answer, remember, I'm a celebrity.
你回答之前 记住 我是名人
We're gonna need a full body cavity search.
我们要全身搜查
m 20 0 l 209 0 b b b 11 228 0 218 0 209 l 0 20 b 0 11 11 0 20 0
b
m 71 60 b 71 0 161 0 161 60 b 161 120 71 120 71 60
翻译:兮之 希之 昔之
校对:圈圈 时间轴: 大喷子
后期: 宝宝 总监:圈圈
马男波杰克第一季 第五集
C出版社
企鹅出版社危险 有石棉即将宣告破产
Thanks for coming to New York for this.
谢谢你们专程来纽约
Let's just say, it's better for everyone's kneecaps
这么说吧 我远离加州一段时间
if I stay out of California for a little bit.
对我们大家的膝盖都有好处
Always nice to get a change of scenery, am I right?
换个环境总是好的 对不对
I think the New York air's been good for my health.
我觉得纽约的空气对我有好处
I mean, I did find a lump,
我的确长了个肿块
but hey, who needs health insurance
不过 有马男波杰克
when you've got BoJack Horseman writing a book, huh?
在替你写书 谁还要医保呢
How's it coming along?
书写得如何了
It's great.
非常好
I'm pumping out heartfelt anecdotes
我有好多有趣的轶事
and witty observations left and right,
和观察到的生活中的趣事
and this one is spinning it all into gold.
这位把它们都变成了精彩好故事
Your telephone is ringing. I'm Ira Glass.
您的电话响了 我是爱娜·格拉斯
Thank you for being a sustaining member of public radio.
感谢您成为公共广播电台的出资会员
Everyone has a story,
人人都有故事
and your phone's story is that it's ringing.
而您手机的故事就是 它在响
Excuse me. Hello?
不好意思 喂
Hurry back, superstar.
快回来哦 大明星
I don't think Diane's working out.
我觉得戴安不行
What? Why? Is Diane no good?
为什么 她不够好吗
She's too good.
她太好了
I don't know if Diane is damaged enough to tell my story.
我不知道戴安有没有烂到能写我的故事
She's so... functional.
她太... 有用了
Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Horseman,
抱歉 马男先生
she's too functional.
她太有用了
Why don't I just get on the phone
要不我拿起电话
and call a less functional...
帮你找个没用的...
What are you talking about?
你在说什么啊
This is a very bad time, BoJack!
现在不是时候 波杰克
All right.
好吧
You need to promise me that your book will be on the shelves
你得答应我你的书在十月份
and making money by October!
就能上架赚钱
All right. Jesus.
好吧 天呐
Got it. Sorry I took so long.
知道了 抱歉去了那么久
Who was that? The library?
谁的电话 图书馆吗
Thanking you for never returning a book late?
谢谢你从来没迟还过书吗
That was my brother Tommy. My dad just died.
是我哥哥汤米 我爸爸去世了
Oh, my God.
天呐
Did we talk about firming up the release date?
我们确定书的出版时间了吗
- I was thinking late September. - I am so sorry.
-我觉得九月底就行 -真的很遗憾
It's fine, he was old and also the worst.
没事的 反正他又老又烂
Such a terrible tragedy
真是悲剧
really puts everything in perspective.
让人开始客观看待事物了
Where does that leave us as far as the book of it all?
那我们的书怎么办
Not a problem.
没事的
I just got to swing by Boston
我就顺便去趟波士顿
and give my condolences real quick.
吊唁一下就好
BoJack can come with me.
波杰克可以跟我一起
We'll get some work done while we're there,
我们在那也可以写作
and then that way the whole trip
这样我这趟回家
won't be a total waste of time.
也不会完全属于浪费时间
Great.
很好
Call me if you need anything,
有需要的话打给我
but hang up after one ring,
但响一声以后就挂掉
and I'll call you back from the phone booth
我会从我和我老婆住所那里的
where my wife and I are living.
电话亭给你回电话
*Todd bless these scrambled eggs*
*陶德保佑这炒蛋*
*Eggs from the fridge*
*冰箱里的蛋*
*Sunny side them and guide them*
*炒得嫩嫩的 送它们...*
Todd, stop singing your dumb scrambled eggs song.
陶德 别唱你那愚蠢的炒蛋歌了
Who said that?
谁在说话
If you're wondering who said that,
如果你好奇谁在说话
it's this note that you're reading.
那是你读的便签
You're hearing my voice in your head,
你听到的是你脑补的我说话声
because that's how reading works.
因为这就是阅读
Oh, yeah.
是啊
As you might've noticed, Todd,
你可能也发现了 陶德
I've left you home alone for the day,
我今天把你独自扔在家
and frankly, I already regret that decision.
说实话 我已经后悔这决定了
Here's what you need to do. Nothing.
你要做的就是 什么也不干
Don't touch my stuff, and don't make a mess.
别碰我东西 别弄乱家里
Pick me up at the airport tomorrow,
明天去机场接我
and until then, don't do anything.
在那之前 什么也别干
Well, seal's broken. Might as well enjoy myself.
反正都做了 我还是好好玩玩吧
Cheers to bath time.
敬泡澡时间
Great story, Todd. I love our friendship.
好故事 陶德 我喜欢跟你做朋友
Here we go!
开始啦
The great Toddini!
伟大的陶迪尼
And here we have the home
现在到了一位
of a truly dynamic and unique talent,
真正的天才演员的家
洛杉矶 明星之家
TV's own David Boreanaz.
电视界的 大卫·伯伦纳兹
Sounds like we have some fans
听起来这里似乎有
of Person of Interest on board,
《疑犯追踪》的粉丝
or Castle, or whatever his show is.
或者《灵书妙探》 或者他演过的什么剧
Sorry, dudes, you got the wrong house.
抱歉 各位 你们来错地方了
Crikey, I would've paid $50 U.S.
天呐 我愿意花五十美金
to see where David Boreanaz lives.
看看大卫·伯伦纳兹家什么样
He's the American Hugh Jackman.
他就是美国的休·杰克曼
He's so good in Burn Notice.
他在《黑名单》里演得超棒
What? 50 bucks?
什么 五十块吗
In that case, come on in, friends.
那样的话 进来吧 朋友们
Some guy named David Boreanaz lives here.
叫大卫·伯伦纳兹的就住这里
Hooray!
万岁
欢迎来到波士顿
Hey, so listen,
听着
I really want to be here for you in your time of need,
我真的想在你需要帮助的时候陪着你
but I'm not really good with funerals or death
但我面对葬礼 死亡 家庭
or families or feelings or people.
感动 人什么的不太在行
Don't worry. You can wait in the car.
别担心 你在车里等着吧
It's probably better you don't meet my brothers.
你不见我兄弟们或许更好
They're narrow-minded, mean-spirited dirtbags.
他们就是群心胸狭窄的混蛋
I wish I had brothers growing up.
我真希望自己能有兄弟
Touch football on the weekends, noogie parades on the reg.
周末一起打打橄榄球 嬉戏打闹
Life as an only child can get pretty lonely.
当独生子女真的挺孤独
《都市报》尼克松会见国王
Daddy, do you want to meet my imaginary friend?
爸爸 你想见见我想象中的朋友吗
Imaginary friends are freeloaders
想象中的朋友都是共产分子
invented by communists to rip-off welfare.
编出来侵吞福利的东西
Why don't you do something productive,
你不如干些有意义的事
like bang your head against the wall
比如拿脑袋撞墙
until your brain isn't so stupid?
撞到变聪明为止
Okay, Daddy.
好的 爸爸
Yeah, well, I was pretty lonely, too.
是啊 我也挺孤独的
My family made my life miserable,
我的家人毁了我的人生
and then they never forgave me for leaving.
还绝不原谅我抛弃他们
So, what, you're like the black sheep?
所以呢 你是败家子吗
No, Gary's the black sheep. He's adopted.
不 加里才是败家子 他是领养的
I'm just the member of the family nobody likes.
至于我 大家只是不喜欢我罢了
And my dad was the worst of them all.
其中我爸爸最讨厌我
You told me that you and your father
你跟我说你和你爸爸
used to sit on the roof and look at the stars together.
以前一起坐在房顶上看星星
Oh, yeah, I was just trying to get you to open up,
是的 我只是想让你敞开心扉
so I used an old writer's trick called "Me lying to you."
所以我用了作家的老套把戏 "骗人"
Oh, yeah? Well, I'm using an old me trick
是吗 那我要用我的老把戏了
called "That hurts my feelings."
叫做 "真伤人心"
And the truth is, I used to sit alone
真相是 我以前经常独自坐在
on the hill out by the dump
垃圾堆边的小山包上
and dream of waking up as Chelsea Clinton,
梦想自己是切尔西·克林顿
比尔与希拉里·克林顿的独女
but with my hair.
但头发还是我的
You do have great hair.
你头发的确很漂亮
I know.
我知道
That's us.
到了
I'll just pop in for a quick hi and bye.
我进去打个招呼就走
Then we'll be on our way.
我们就回去
Ten minutes, swear to God.
十分钟 我发誓
You can play with this kaleidoscope
你可以玩玩这个万花筒
I got you at the airport.
我在机场帮你买的
What? A kaleidoscope?
什么 万花筒
I'm not five...
我又不是五...
Shapes and colors the likes of which I've never seen.
哇噻 都是我从没见过的色彩和图案
Hello.
有人吗
Hey, yeah, Deedee came home!
太好了 滴滴回来了
Gary, Marty, Artie, Deedee's back!
加里 马蒂 阿提 滴滴回来了
Come here!
快来
Game. Watching the game.
在看比赛呢
Can't look up from the game. How you doing?
不能分神 你好啊
Marty, it's a game from '86.
马蒂 这是86年的比赛好吗
You've seen it a hundred times.
你都看过一百遍了
And how many times does Buckner break your heart?
巴克纳又伤过你几次心呢
100 times.
一百次
Aw, thank God you're here, Deedee.
谢天谢地你回来了 滴滴
Pops is wicked departed.
老爸过世了
Oh, yeah, man. He departed so hard.
是啊 死得透透的
And I do not like them apples, Deedee.
而且我不喜欢他们哭哭啼啼 滴滴
Yo, Deedee, get me a beer.
滴滴 帮我拿罐啤酒
Yeah, make that two, Deedee.
帮我也拿一罐 滴滴
Gary, Marty, I just got home.
加里 马蒂 我才到家啊
Ooh, Princess Diane doesn't want to get her brother a beer.
戴安公主都不愿帮哥哥拿酒了啊
Hey, Ma, come look what the Pats dragged in.
妈 快看爱国者队带谁回来了
Oh, hello! Look who decided to come home.
你好啊 这是谁终于愿意回家了
Queen Deedee blesses us with her presence.
滴滴女王大驾光临
To what do I owe the honor?
小人何其荣幸
Look, I'm just here to offer my condolences.
我只是来悼念爸爸的
Oh, sure, in and out, like a Protestant on Christmas.
是啊 来了就走 就像过圣诞节的新教徒
Why would you want to stick around,
在家人需要你的时候
be with your family in their time of need?
你为什么要留下呢
Come on, Ma.
别这样 妈
Don't fight while the game's on.
比赛的时候你们别闹好吗
It's bad juju.
那样会带来霉运
It's the '86 World Series.
这是86年的世界职业棒球大赛
They lose.
他们输了
Ah, why'd you have to...
你怎么就非得...
Oh, we're just a bunch of savages, right?
我们就是一屋子野蛮人 对吧
We're not like your fancy California friends.
我们可不像你那些优雅的加州朋友
Your George Clooney and your California Raisins.
乔治·克鲁尼 加州葡萄干什么的
Oh, come off it, Ma. She don't mean no harm.
别说了 妈 她没有恶意的
For five years she didn't come home.
五年了 她没有回家一次
Why don't you make like A-Rod and blow.
你不如办成罗德里格斯然后炫耀一番好了
Well, this was clearly a huge mistake.
显然我做了个错误的决定
Ah, don't go.
别走
Deedee, please.
滴滴 拜托了
Why not? Ma doesn't want me here.
留下干什么 妈根本就不想看到我
Ma don't know what she wants.
妈根本就不知道她内心的真正需求
She wants you here. We all do.
她希望你回来 我们都希望
Ain't that right, Marty?
我说得对吗 马蒂
Can't look up from the game.
专注比赛 无法分神
Besides, we need your help
再说了 我们需要你帮忙
organizing all the funeral stuff.
筹备葬礼事宜
We didn't go to college.
我们都没上过大学
We're not smart like you.
我们没你聪明
Fine, I'll help.
好吧 我会帮忙的
Is there a number for me to call?
有什么电话是我能打的吗
Yeah, try 1-800-The-Internet, dummy.
有啊 试试1-800-网-络 傻瓜
Jeez, do some legwork, Dee.
你好歹也出去搜集点情报吧 滴
And do it quick. The ice is melting.
最好快一点 冰块要化了
Oh, my God. Is that dad?
天呐 那是爸爸吗
Did someone draw balls on his forehead?
有人朝他头上扔球了吗
That was before we knew he was dead.
那肯定是他死之前的事了
We just thought he was wicked hung over.
我们之前还以为他就是宿醉没醒
In your face, Dad!
爸 看你脸上
In your face forever.
以后会永远留在你脸上了
Welcome to the home of David Boreanaz,
欢迎来到大卫·伯伦纳兹的家
famous from television shows
他因电视节目
such as dramas on networks.
和网络喜剧成名
That will be $50 please.
收费是50美元
Oy, mate, this picture of David Boreanaz fell apart.
伙计 这张大卫·伯伦纳兹的照片裂了
Oh, no, no, no, I'll handle that.
不不不 我会处理的
Why don't you just go look through
你还是去好好看看
David Boreanaz's underwear drawer, okay?
大卫·伯伦纳兹的内衣抽屉吧 好吗
It's in his bedroom.
在他卧室里
Oh, knickers.
短裤
Hey, what do you think you're doing?
你以为你在干什么
Uh-oh, am I reading something again?
我是不是又在读什么便条了
No, this is your conscience.
不 这是你的良知
BoJack trusted you to take care of his house.
波杰克信任你才让你照顾他的房子
Is this really... what are you doing?
结果你就是这样做的吗
It's a great day on Todd's phone.
今天真是陶德手机的好日子
How can I help you?
请问你有什么事吗
Are you trying to cut me out of this David Boreanaz deal?
你是想撇开我自己做大卫·伯伦纳兹的生意吗
I'm your agent, damn it.
我是你的经纪人 见鬼
How'd you find out about Boreanaz House?
你怎么知道伯伦纳兹房子的事的
Don't worry, I'm not just gonna sit here
别担心 我不会在你干活的时候
batting a ball of yarn around while you do the real work.
干坐在这里追毛线球玩的
I want to take your project to the next level.
我想让你这笔生意升级
We need to go bigger.
我们得做强做大
Have you thought about attaching Mila Kunis to this thing?
你有想过把米娜·古妮丝也扯进来吗
Attach her? How?
把她扯进来 怎么做
You do your job. I'll do mine.
你做好你的事 剩下的交给我
Who is this?
这是谁啊
Ah, out of combinations. Now I'm bored.
没有新组合了 现在我无聊了
Diane!
戴安
- You show me nothing... - What do you want from me?
-你什么都没给我看 -你想要什么
You have no right to barge in here after five years
你无权在五年后再次闯进这里
and judge us, Diane.
对我们指手画脚 戴安
I'm just saying Marty could lend a hand
我只是让马蒂帮一下忙
instead of sitting on the couch watching the game all day.
而不是整天坐在沙发上看球赛
Ah, Deedee.
滴滴
You know very well his leg's still sore
你非常清楚 从上次采石场的意外后
from the accident at the quarry.
他的腿一直不好使
Yeah, he's got to rest up
如果他想当布鲁克林旋风的
if he's gonna be a wide receiver for B.C.
外接手的话 是得好好休息
He didn't get into B.C.
他没能入选布鲁克林旋风
Ah, what's the point of getting off the couch anyway?
为什么非得从沙发上起身
All the jobs are going to immigrants these days.
当今什么事都让移民做了
What do you... We're immigrants.
你... 我们就是移民
- How do you figure? - We're Vietnamese?
-你怎么知道的 -我们是越南人
Step off! We're American as fuck.
去死 我们绝对是美国人
And that's the same crap you always pull...
你总是说这种屁话...
What do you want from me? Come on!
你到底想要什么 说吧
Excuse me.
打扰了
Yes, hello, I'm looking for Diane.
你们好 我是来找戴安的
Does anyone here speak English?
这里有人会说英语吗
Pull over and park the car.
把车开到路边停好
Is that the frickin' horse from Horsin' Around?
这蠢马是《胡闹的小马》里面那货吗
Again, does anyone here speak English?
再问一次 这里有人会说英语吗
- Oh, no way... - What?
-不会吧 -什么
A TV star!
电视明星
伯伦纳兹的家
Boreanaz house.
伯伦纳兹家
Seventy-five each. Children and seniors free.
每人75 老人小孩免费
Please stay behind the ropes
请站在线后
and keep your hands and belongings on your person at all times.
管好您的手和随身物品
Next we'll head to the kitchen where... Is that Mila Kunis?
接下来我们去厨房 那是米娜·古妮丝吗
Note the letters B.H. on all hand towels and linens.
请注意所有擦手巾和麻布上都印有B.H.
That stands for "Boreanaz House."
那表示的是伯伦纳兹的家
Yeah, do you pick up bodies?
你们收尸吗
Is that a service you provide? Corpse removal?
你们提供这种服务吗 搬运尸体
Hey, BoJack, you ever meet any Boston celebrities?
波杰克 你见过什么波士顿的名人吗
Well, one time at Bristol Farms,
有一次在布里斯托尔农场
Ben Affleck and I did reach for the same bunch of grapes.
本·阿弗莱克和我看上了同一串葡萄
Oh, he eats grapes just like us?
他也和我们一样吃葡萄吗
Hey, Ma, Ben Affleck eats grapes.
妈 本·阿弗莱克也吃葡萄呢
He don't eat grapes!
他才不吃葡萄
BoJack said he fed Affleck grapes.
波杰克说他喂阿弗莱克吃了葡萄
He was graping it up with the Daredevil himself.
他和超胆侠[本·阿弗莱克饰演]一起吃葡萄
This is the greatest day of my life.
这是我人生中最棒的一天了
Hey, I don't suppose you boys would have any interest
我觉得你们应该不会愿意等下一起玩
in maybe playing some touch football later?
触身式橄榄球吧
Are you kidding?
你在开玩笑吗
Touch football with a star like you?
和你这样的大明星一起玩触身式橄榄球
That would be mad wicked pisser.
这个世界简直是疯了
Ooh, you know what else we got to do?
你知道我们还要做什么吗
We got to watch the Cryane video.
我们还要看克莱恩录像呢
Ooh, that sounds good. What's that?
听起来很不错呢 那是什么
No, we don't need to revisit that.
不 我们不要再看一次了
When Deedee was 16,
滴滴十六岁的时候
we made up a secret pen pal for her named Leo.
我们给她编造了一个叫列奥的秘密笔友
Guys, I really would rather not discuss it.
兄弟们 我真的不希望提这事儿
We all took turns writing her letters,
我们轮流给她写信
pretending to be this sensitive boy from Cambridge.
假装自己是那个敏感的剑桥男孩
It was wicked messed up.
简直是一团糟
"Oh, Diane, we're two misunderstood souls.
"戴安 我们是两颗被误解的心灵
Everyone else is a phony.
其他所有人都是骗子
Yours forever, Leo."
你永远的 列奥"
What? That is amazing.
什么 太惊人了
After six months of letters,
通了半年的信后
we hired a homeless guy to pretend to be Leo
我们雇了一个流浪汉假装列奥
and take her to the homecoming dance.
带她去参加返校舞会
- Look at her. - Watch, watch this part.
-看她啊 -快看 看这部分
I like your boutonniere.
我喜欢你领子上的花
Why don't we watch this every day?
为什么我们每天都要看这个
- Look at her face. - Now that's a good prank.
-快看她的脸 -这可真是黑历史啊
I was humiliated.
我受到了侮辱
Yeah, you wouldn't get it.
是啊 你不会懂的
It's a brothers thing, right, brothers?
这是兄弟之间的事儿 对吧 兄弟们
That's Cryane for you.
这就是你的克莱恩
What a pussy.
多可爱
You know, it's nice that years later
你知道吗 若干年后
we can all laugh about this.
我们还能一起对着这个发笑真是太棒了
Yep, my therapist thinks the same thing.
我的治疗师也是这样觉得的
I'm gonna go meet with the funeral director.
我得去见一下葬礼指导了
Any of you boys want to come?
你们有人想和我一起去吗
Nah, I ain't so big on funeral homes, Deedee.
不了 我对殡仪馆不怎么感兴趣 滴滴
All them dead bodies, they give me the jeebies.
那些尸体让我神经过敏
Yeah, Deedee, why do we got to go?
是啊 滴滴 我们为什么非得去呢
Fine, none of you have to go.
行 你们谁都不用去
I'll take care of everything.
我会搞定一切的
Thank you, Diane. We all really appreciate it.
谢谢 戴安 非常感谢
Come on, BoJack.
来吧 波杰克
Why you got to take BoJack with you?
你为什么要带波杰克和你一起
Boys, you have stolen my heart
兄弟们 你们偷走了我的心
like Dave Roberts stole second base.
就好像大卫·罗伯茨偷占了二垒一样
Hey! He knows our things!
他懂这些东西
I must go now, but I'll see you all at the funeral, okay?
我得走了 葬礼见 好吗
And when I do, you're all getting noogies.
见到你们的时候 我会戳你们脸的
Funeral!
葬礼
Funeral!
葬礼
Funeral!
葬礼
Funeral!
葬礼
And now, a very special treat
现在 为我们的铂金会员
just for our platinum members.
送上特别礼物
Let's take a peek at the slumbering
让我们偷偷看一眼
Mr. Boreanaz himself.
熟睡中的伯伦纳兹先生吧
Get out of my room, Todd!
从我房间滚出去 陶德
I'm David Boreanaz.
我是大卫·伯伦纳兹
And thus concludes our tour.
我们的旅程就此结束
Have a Boreanderful day.
祝大家今天愉快
玛戈特家族殡仪馆
Tell me about your father.
和我说说你父亲吧
Well, he was a mean, sadistic alcoholic,
他是一个刻薄残酷的酒鬼
who never supported anything I did
他从未支持过我做的任何事情
and actively delighted in seeing me fail.
还特别喜欢看我失败
Hmm, I see.
我知道了
Sounds like you're looking for our Piece of Shit Dad Package.
看来你需要的是"混蛋老爸"套装
That would be too good for my father.
我老爸配不上那个
Hmm, I see.
我知道了
Might I then suggest our Piece of Shit Dad Package
这样的话 我推荐我们的"连混蛋老爸
Would Be Too Good For Him Package.
都不如"套装
Yeah, that's the one.
很好 就这个了
Excellent choice.
很棒的选择
Hey, can I suggest something?
我能给你点建议吗
You might want to loosen up a little.
你可以稍微放松一下
I think you could actually
我觉得你其实可以
learn a thing or two from your brothers.
从你兄弟身上学到点东西
Are you kidding?
你在跟我开玩笑吗
If I was like my brothers, nothing would ever get done.
如果我像我兄弟那样 我会一事无成
I'm just saying,
我就是说说
if you can't find a way to let off some steam
如果你不能想方设法释放情绪的话
you're going to explode.
你会爆炸的
God damn it! Are you god damn kidding me?
见鬼 你在跟我开玩笑吗
未知来电
I keep getting calls from this unlisted number.
我一直收到陌生人的电话
Ignore. Who are these assholes?
拒接 都是哪里来的混蛋啊
Why don't you just answer, and then you'll know?
你为什么不接 接了不就知道了吗
Oh, they'd just love that, wouldn't they?
他们就喜欢这样恶作剧 不是吗
Ugh, how are we supposed to blackmail him
如果我们没法让他接电话的话
if we can't reach him?
我们该怎么敲诈他呢
Maybe we got to get him where he lives?
也许我们可以到他住的地方守株待兔
You mean... ?
你是说
That's right, his house.
没错 他家
What the... Whose house is this?
搞什么 这是谁家
Is that David Boreanaz?
那是大卫·伯伦纳兹吗
I could've sworn BoJack Horseman lived here.
我发誓马男波杰克绝对住这里
Hey, let's keep these lines moving, huh?
别站着不动好吗
You want to stop and chat,
你想站着不动聊聊天也行
you gotta pay for the extended stay ticket.
那可得付延时费
Ah, so much, so much, so much.
太多了 太多了 太多了
Another five Gs, T-Bag, and we are in the pink.
又是五千 兄弟 我们赚翻了
I don't know, Princess Carolyn.
我不知道 卡洛琳公主
I ran out of shoeboxes for the money,
装钱的鞋盒子我都用完了
and the books aren't adding up.
钱数我也算着算着就晕了
Plus the men's lav needs to be serviced,
还有男厕需要找人清理
and I had to fire Janine in the gift shop
我还得炒了礼品店的亚尼内
for stealing Boreabble heads.
因为她偷店里的人偶玩具
I mean, how did I end up with all this responsibility?
我怎么有这么多事要做啊
Hey, I'm not screwing around here, small fry.
我可不是在跟你闹着玩儿 小子
You better make those numbers sing.
你最好给我把账好好做出来
I don't think these offshore banks
我觉得我们用的那些海外银行
we've been using are 100% legal.
好像不是完全合法
Yeah, well, my mother told me never to slap an idiot.
我妈跟我说绝对不要去扇一个傻子
What? Ow!
什么 好疼
Now we're both breaking the rules.
现在我们都违反规矩了
You listen, and you listen good.
你给我听着 好好听着
I've gotten used to a certain lifestyle
自从伯伦纳兹之家向公众开放
since Boreanaz House went public,
我就已经习惯了某种生活方式了
and I'm not going back to the old way.
我才不会重回以前的生活
Mommy likes her shoes, see?
妈咪喜欢她现在的鞋子 知道吗
And her pearls.
也喜欢她戴的珍珠项链
Oh, I'm in too deep.
我陷得太深了
I don't know what to do.
这可如何是好啊
I'll tell you what you should do.
我来告诉你该怎么办
Who said that?
谁在说话
It's me, David Boreanaz.
是我 大卫·伯伦纳兹
Is that what David Boreanaz sounds like?
大卫·伯伦纳兹说话是这个声音吗
Uh, sure.
当然了
Let me give you some advice.
我给你几条建议吧
As we say on my show...
正如我演的剧中说的
I want to say, New Girl?
哪部剧来着 《杰西驾到》
just keep doing what you're doing, and you'll be fine.
尽管继续做你正在做的吧 不会有事的
Wow, thanks, Davie B.
谢谢你 大卫·伯
Never call me that.
别这么叫我
玛戈特家族殡仪馆
Unbelievable.
难以置信
It's 4:00. I don't think anyone's coming.
已经四点了 应该不会有人来了
Un-the-God-damn-believable
真他妈的难以置信
All those jerk wads had to do was show up,
那些混蛋只要出现就行了
and they couldn't even do that.
可他们连这点都做不到
Where's the body even?
尸体哪里去了
Beg your pardon, minor hiccup.
不好意思 出了点小问题
My goons went to pick your father up, but nobody was home.
我的人去搬你父亲的尸体时没人在家
For a nominal fee,
为了象征性收一下费
we can scrounge up another body for you.
我们可以帮你找具其他人的尸体用
Would you care to peruse our loaner closet?
你想看一下我们的借用细则吗
Hey, assholes! Where were you?
混蛋们 你们去哪里了
I planned the whole funeral, like you asked me to,
葬礼我都按照你们说的准备好了
and nobody showed.
可根本没人来
Yeah, we realized dad wouldn't have wanted some stuffy funeral.
我们后来意识到爸爸不想要什么无聊的葬礼
He would've wanted his body to be chopped up into chum
他会想让自己的尸体被切成肉末
and thrown in Derek Jeter's fat face.
然后扔到德瑞克·基特那张肥脸上
德瑞克·基特 著名棒球运动员
Yeah, suck it, Jeter!
对 去死吧 基特
Wait, what? Where is Dad?
等等 什么 你们说爸爸在哪里
We got him chummed. He's in the truck.
我们把他切碎了 就在卡车上
阮氏碎肉末
You chummed Dad?
你们把爸爸切碎了吗
It's what your father wanted, honey,
你父亲就想这样 亲爱的
but then you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?
你什么都不知道 对吧
Let me get this straight.
所以是这么回事
So instead of coming to the funeral
你们没去我花了钱
that I paid for and spent all day organizing,
准备了一整天的葬礼
you had Dad's body ground into chum,
反而把爸爸的尸体碾成了渣渣
so you could throw his mushy remains on Derek Jeter?
然后你们去给扔到德瑞克·基特身上吗
No, not just on Derek Jeter.
不 不是扔到他身上
We're gonna throw it into his fat face.
我们一定要扔到他那张肥脸上
- Yeah, his fat face. - In his fat face.
-对 他那张肥脸上 -扔他一脸
The Yankees are in town this week.
洋基队这周来镇上
The planets are aligning, Deedee.
高手要对决了 滴滴
Tommy, you begged me to stay and help.
汤米 是你求我留下帮忙的
Why does everything always got to be about big-shot Diane?
为什么一切总要围着大明星戴安转
Too good for her home.
家里容不下你这尊大佛
I don't think I'm too good for my home.
我可不觉得自己家容不下我
Yeah, guys, you got it all wrong.
各位 你们都错了
Diane isn't a big-shot. She's my ghostwriter.
戴安不是大明星 她是我的枪手
She's writing a book that's not even gonna have her name on it.
她在写一本连自己名字都不会出现在上面的书
You think this is how she expected
你们以为这是她期望的
her life would be going at 34?
34岁时的人生吗
She lives with her rich boyfriend and doesn't pay rent.
她跟她有钱的男朋友一起住 房租都不用付
She's not too good for anything.
根本不是哪里容不下她
What?
什么
Diane's a freeloader?
戴安吃白食吗
Even I pay rent.
连我我付房租好吗
BoJack helping?
波杰克帮你了吧
This is why I told you to wait in the car!
这就是为什么我让你在车里等我
Oh, she snapped.
她发狂了
Here comes Cryane.
嚎叫的戴安来了
Hey, hey, Deedee, come on.
滴滴 不要这样
Diane, you are making a public spectacle of yourself.
戴安 不要再当众出丑了
Deedee, what are you doing with Dad's keys?
滴滴 你拿着爸爸的钥匙干什么
Put those back.
放回去
Oh, come on, that's Dad's truck.
不要 那是爸爸的卡车
Dad's chum is in the back.
爸爸尸体的碎末在后面呢
No! No, no, no!
不 不要啊
Suck a dick, dumb shits!
舔鸡巴去吧 蠢逼
Well, that crazy clam did it. She took Pops.
那个疯子竟然把爸爸带走了
Oh, no, what are we gonna do?
不 这下该怎么办啊
三分钟后
And it's a one-hopper back to the pitcher. Easy out at first.
投手一记高弹跳球 球便轻松投出
So what we're gonna do is nothing?
我们就什么都不做吗
Sox are on, and I haven't seen this one.
红袜队上场了 我还没看过这场比赛呢
Does anyone know where she might have gone?
有人知道她会去哪里吗
Ah, she used to run off like this
她高中的时候
all the time in high school, too.
经常这样跑掉
Who knows where crazy goes?
谁知道那个疯子去哪里
I think I know where she went.
我好像知道她去了哪里
Wait, you can't leave.
等等 你不能走
The party's just getting started.
派对才刚开始呢
I don't know, Diane was pretty upset,
不行 戴安挺生气的
and she's got your dad.
而且她手里还有你们老爸
Oh, don't go, BoJack.
不要去 波杰克
You're like the fifth brother I never had.
你就像我的第五个弟弟一样
I... Really?
我吗 真的吗
Yeah, don't leave, bro.
是啊 不要走 兄弟
After this, we'll go play touch football
派对结束后我们还要去玩触身式橄榄球
and do a noogie parade.
一起好好疯狂一下呢
Everyone please disperse.
请大家都离开
This is an unlawful gathering.
这是非法聚众
Disperse immediately.
请马上离开
Oh, this isn't looking good, Princess Carolyn.
情况不妙 卡洛琳公主
What are we gonna do?
我们该怎么办
What do you mean, we?
你说"我们"是什么意思
Princess Carolyn always lands on her feet.
卡洛琳公主永远不会出事
Mr. Boreanaz, I presume.
你就是伯伦纳兹先生吧
Um, would you like a Boreabble head?
你想要个人偶玩具吗
The amazing thing is,
奇怪的是
the house looks just like BoJack's house.
那栋房子看着跟波杰克家的房子一样
They must have the same architect.
一定是同一个建筑师设计的
Anyway, how are things with you?
总之 你那边情况怎么样
Not good.
不怎么样
垃圾场
I should've known it was a waste of time to come back here.
我早就该知道回来纯属浪费时间
Oh, that's awful.
太不幸了
Well, when you get back,
等你回来
I'll give you one of my patented Peanutbutter hugs.
我会给你一个花生酱式专属拥抱
Crunchy and creamy.
香脆奶油味儿的
You know that patent wasn't approved,
你知道那项专利没申请下来
but I'll take it.
但是我会接受的
I have to go. BoJack's here.
我得挂了 波杰克来了
BoJack, well, what's he doing... ?
波杰克 他在那里...
Hey, sorry I said all that stuff about you.
抱歉我之前说了那么多关于你的事
It's all true, isn't it?
反正都是真的 不是吗
I found this letter back at the bar.
我在酒吧发现了这封信
I think it's for you.
好像是写给你的
Look, just read it. I think you'll like it.
你就看看吧 我觉得你会喜欢的
"Dear Diane, it's me, your old pen pal Leo.
亲爱的戴安 是我 你的老笔友列奥
This definitely isn't BoJack Horseman writing this."
这封信绝对不是马男波杰克写的
Keep reading.
继续看
"You're a good person, Diane,
你是个好人 戴安
and that's the most important thing.
这才是最重要的
Even if no one appreciates you,
即使没人欣赏你
it's important that you don't stop being good.
你也不要停止做一个好人
I like how you always bring your own bags
我喜欢你去商店买东西时
to the grocery store,
总是自带购物袋
and how you're always organized to go places.
喜欢你去什么地方也总是有条不紊
I like how you chew gum on the airplane so your ears will pop.
我喜欢你在飞机上嚼口香糖减弱耳朵的不适
A lot of people might not appreciate that about you,
很多人可能不欣赏这样的你
but I do.
但是我欣赏
Yours forever, Leo."
你永远的 列奥
That's the best letter he ever wrote me.
这是他写给我的最棒的一封信
Look, take it from someone with his own shitty parents,
一个父母也很烂的人说过
family is a sinkhole,
家就是个臭水坑
and you were right to get out when you had the chance.
有机会的时候走出这个水坑是正确的
The stupid thing is,
可笑的是
even now I still just want them to be proud of me
即使现在我还是想让他们以我为傲
and think I did good.
让他们觉得我做得很好
Is that really stupid?
这样是不是真的很傻
- Yep. - No, it isn't.
-对 -不 才不傻
Yeah, it is.
明明就很傻
You want those guys to be proud of you?
你想让那群人以你为傲吗
I guess I was just hoping to get some modicum of closure.
我只是想找到一丝丝自我
Closure is a made up thing
自我是史蒂芬·斯皮尔伯格
by Steven Spielberg to sell movie tickets.
为了电影票房编造出来的东西
It, like true love and the Munich Olympics,
那玩意儿就跟真爱和慕尼黑奥运会一样
doesn't exist in the real world.
在现实世界中根本不存在
The only thing to do now is just to keep living forward.
你现在唯一该做的就是继续生活
Yeah, but every time I come back here they...
话是没错 但每次我回来 他们...
So don't come back here.
那你就不要回来啊
What's great about Los Angeles
洛杉矶的伟大之处就在于
is nobody cares about where you're from or who you are.
根本没人关心你是谁你从哪儿来
It's a superficial town
那就是一个肤浅的城市
where you can worry about stupid shit
你在那里就只用担心一堆狗屁事就行
like keeping your pool clean,
比如让自己家游泳池保持干净
and what artisanal nuts to put on your salad.
或者沙拉里应该放什么手工坚果
I do like salad.
我确实喜欢吃沙拉
Oh, it's the best.
那就最好了
Why do you think people keep moving there?
哟要不你以为那里的人为什么能继续生活
Thanks, BoJack.
谢谢你 波杰克
The good news is, your dad can't hurt anyone ever again.
好消息是 你爸爸以后再也不能伤害任何人了
保罗·列维尔[著名爱国人士]
芬威球场 洋基队VS波士顿队
Thank you so much, Derek Jeter.
太谢谢你了 德瑞克·基特
I thought a big baseball hotshot like you
我还以为你这样的棒球大明星
would be too busy to help us old ladies across the street.
根本没时间帮我们老年人过马路呢
I always have time to look out for my elders,
帮助老年人我一向有时间
Yankee fan or no.
不管他是不是洋基队的粉丝
Is that a barrel of chum?
那是一桶碎肉末吗
Um, I'll meet you inside. I have to make a call.
我门里面见吧 我先打个电话
Okay.
It's Herb. You know what to do.
我是赫比 你知道该怎么办
Hey, Herb, look,
你好 赫比
I think we have some unfinished business.
我们好像还有事需要解决
It seems like life's too short to hold grudges
人生苦短 何必留仇
and stuff like that, you know what I'm saying?
你懂我的意思吧
About life being too short?
人生苦短的意思
Well, of course you know what I'm saying.
你当然知道我是什么意思
You're the one with terminal...
是你得了晚期...
I feel like I'm doing all the talking here.
我怎么感觉都是我一个人在说话
So anyway, I thought maybe we could chat.
总而言之 我觉得我们可以聊聊
Why don't you give me a call, okay?
你有时间给我打个电话吧
Um... so smell you later?
那 我们回见
This is BoJack. Horseman.
我是波杰克 那个马男
Obviously.
显而易见
Ugh, who keeps calling me?
到底是谁一直在给我打电话
Come on, BoJack. Pick up, pick up.
快点 波杰克 快接电话啊
I'm sure he'll pick up.
他肯定会接的
It's BoJack. You know what to do.
我是波杰克 你知道该怎么做