So, at the end of the day,
I'm just a regular guy trying to live a regular life.
Remember that time you peed in Drew Barrymore's car?
Uh, yes, I remember that. Why do you remember that?
是的 我记得 你为什么会记那种事
It was in your book.
- You should do that to someone here. - What? No.
-你该在这找个人再来一次 -什么 不
Well, anyway, I can't believe I'm on a date with BoJack Horseman.
I feel like that anonymous girl from Chapter 8 of your book
mixed with the pluck and determination of that anonymous girl
from Chapter 12 of your book.
We don't need to dwell on the past.
Wait, shut up. Is this the restaurant you bought
when you were trying to show up Mr. Peanutbutter?
- Uh... No. - Hey, this table's a little wobbly.
Want to yell at the waiter and make a scene?
No, I don't need--
Come on, do that BoJack thing
where you make a big deal and everyone laughs,
but at the same time we relate,
because you're saying the things polite society won't.
That's not-- Ugh...
Is everything all right over here?
No, everything is not all right.
This table's been wobbling all evening.
If I wanted to flop around
and get seasick for an hour, I'd call your mother.
Something in that area or...?
and don't let me get out of bed until I turn horse-colored.
- What are you doing? - Did you want me to stay?
No, I wanted you to leave more quietly.
Some of us here are trying to
- forget you exist. - "Forget you exist."
Classic BoJack. Love it.
- Oh, my God, are you Todd? - Uh, yes.
-天呐 你是陶德吗 -是的
翻译：milkon 不高兴童鞋 样爱菜 兮之 圈圈
校对：圈圈 时间轴： 想念Gallifrey的wholock
Hey, Todd, can you drive me to get my car?
I wanted to be responsible last night,
so I Ubered home and left my car in the fountain.
I gotta get ready for my grand opening.
It's finally happening. My Disneyland.
I realize that by saying "What" I might set off a chain of events
whereby we continue this conversation, but what?
要继续交谈的事情 但 那是啥
Well, remember when I first moved in and I kept asking
- if we could go to Disneyland? - I do not.
And then you said that there was no Disneyland.
- No. - That Disneyland was a made-up lie,
like the tooth fairy,
that parents use to get their kids to behave.
Oh, yeah, that shut you up.
Sure did. But then I thought,
why isn't there a Disneyland?
People would love it!
So, I took matters into my own hands,
and over the last five years, I built my own Disneyland.
You've been doing this for five years?
How have you never mentioned it?
I bought that cheap plot of non-arable dirt
by the toxic waste dump-up the hill
- from the old fire station. - Okay, Todd.
-堆得山高有毒废料 -好的 陶德
I'm gonna build a Disneyland.
Sounds great, champ.
If it wasn't for that, she never would've gotten sober.
Just finished drawing up
blueprints for that Disneyland I'm building.
Kind of busy here, Todd.
So, it turned out to be a good thing I peed in her car.
Sorry for all the noise.
Got this crew of worker bees to help me build my Disneyland.
Okay, I get it. You are building your own Disneyland.
Literally the first I'm hearing of this.
Anyway, tomorrow we open the gates.
Finally, people will have a place to go
after they win the Super Bowl.
OK. But you do know that there already is a Disneyland?
- Yeah, I built it. - No, I mean the real Disneyland.
-知道 我建的 -不 我说真正那个
You mean, the one in the hearts and minds of children everywhere?
- The one in Anaheim! - I think we're saying the same thing.
Well, I think it's safe to take the cone off.
I can do it for a small co-pay.
Can't say I'll miss it,
but we did have some crazy
adventures together these last few weeks.
Honey, would you rub my chin for me so I can remember things?
Hey, where should we go for my first meal after the operation?
It's not an operation, but we could go to Storky's again.
Oh, yeah! We're finally due for our free sub.
"Storky's, where your 81st sandwich is free."
We've been there 80 times? It just opened last month.
Yeah, but you love it,
so whenever you suggest it, I always say yes.
Yeah, but 80 times?
Well, that'll be $6000.
Good thing you're getting a free sandwich, huh?
You vultures are killing me!
I'm sure he's talking about other vultures.
Because sometimes you wanna go where no one knows your name.
- BoJack Horseman! - Pinky? Hey, how are you?
-马男波杰克 -小粉 你好吗
- How's the book biz? - Who knows?
I jumped off that burning ship. Print media? What a joke.
Now I got a job in broadcast network television,
a booming industry with nowhere to go but up.
这行可是繁荣昌盛 无处可去 只有高升
- What are you doing here? - Oh, my boss loves this place.
Do you know Wanda Pierce?
Wanda just got named head of programming at MBN.
We're here to celebrate.
Well, that and she just woke up from a 30-year coma.
Wait, she just got out of a 30-year coma
and she's the head of programming at a major broadcast network?
She's been with the company 30 years.
Everyone above her kept getting fired.
Besides, she's got some really fresh ideas.
I am really feeling The Kirk Cameron Show.
I don't even need a pilot. Let's just order 22 episodes.
How about a new show where celebrities try to guess
whether or not people have talent?
We'll air it three nights a week.
Okay, what if we got relevant superstar David Copperfield
to make the World Trade Center disappear?
I hate to be the one to tell you this,
but David Copperfield really isn't a big draw anymore.
Actually, everything feels fresh
if you just forget the last 30 years ever happened.
And here's a special request.
I've never even heard of this song,
but let's give it a spin: "Special Feeling."
Wanda, meet the one and only BoJack Horseman.
- Who? - BoJack Horseman.
Is that name supposed to mean something to me?
- Do you want to go skate? - Nah. You know what they say,
-想不想去滑冰 -不了 俗话说得好
you can lead a horse to roller, but you can't make him rink.
- What? - That's really funny.
- You're funny. - Really?
Oh, my God. You should be on TV,
which, holy shit, they're flat now.
Actually, I was on. You know what, I'm sick of talking about me.
Let's talk about you.
Next thing I know, I'm waking up from a 30-year coma.
So, now I'm sleeping on my sister's couch, but it's not ideal.
She's molting. You know how sisters are.
Oh, jeez, got a couple curly guys in here with the regulars.
How hard is it to look before they bring it out?
- Excuse me, miss? - I know, isn't it cool?
-小姐 麻烦你过来下 -多酷啊
- Like we're getting away with something. - What?
Don't you love it when appetizers
have a little crossover episode?
就比如说你在看《欢乐时光》看到了默克It's like when you're watching Happy Days and Mork shows up.
Or like when Kramer was on Murphy Brown.
- Who? - Hey, you want to get out of here?
I don't want MBN to just be another boring old network,
you know what I mean?
- Yes, totally. - I want to take risks.
I want to swing for the fences, you know?
Otherwise, what are we doing?
Oh, my God, is it morning? We stayed up all night talking,
天啊 天已经亮了吗 我们聊了一整晚
- and we didn't even have sex. - Well, it's not too late.
- That was fantastic. - Oh, yes.
Of course, I haven't had sex in 30 years. I hope.
- Something's wrong. - What is it?
I don't know, I feel weird,
like I want to spend more time with you
- even though I know we just had sex. - Oh, okay.
No, you don't understand.
We already had sex, but I still want to spend time with you.
Is that normal? Am I normal? What is happening to me?
这正常吗 我正常吗 我是怎么了
It's okay. We can spend more time together.
I want to do things with you.
Fully clothed, sober, in daylight hours.
衣衫整齐 头脑清醒 光天化日地做
- Okay. - I don't understand these feelings.
Let's get food? Or walk in park? Or--
Oh, God, it's coming. I can't stop it.
天啊 这感觉涌上来了 我控制不了啊
- Do you want to go to Disneyland? - Okay.
Disneyland has a lot more sparking wires
and loose nails than I remember.
Please hold your questions until the end of the tour.
Here we have Mr. Todd's Wild Death-Coaster.
The name is a work in progress,
but we wanted to work "Death" into the title
for liability reasons.
And this is Gabe Jr.,
the Grease Fire of the Caribbean.
This is boring. I want to go home.
Vincent, be nice!
He's a little cranky because he just got adult braces.
- You mean, braces. - Princess Carolyn, stop embarrassing me!
-牙套是 -卡洛琳公主 别再让我丢人了
Cinderella's magical pile of used mattresses.
Is it a good idea to keep all those mattresses
so close to an active grease fire?
Where's your sense of wonder, Diane?
Your friend is really negative.
Yeah, don't be so negative, Diane.
是啊 乐观点嘛 戴安
- What? - You know I hate negativity.
I mean, I don't hate it
because that's also negative, but you know.
Hey, Mr. Peanutbutter.
Hey, buddy. This place is amazing.
It's like some sort of Disney version of Knott's Berry Farm.
Oh, that's exactly what I was going for!
I can't wait to get involved
and really spray the old Mr. Peanutbutter scent on everything.
I was sort of thinking of this as kind of just my thing.
you did build this while working for P.B. Livin,
so I have the blah-blah-blah of first refusal or whatever.
I mean, that's just good business.
We're in this together now, Todd,
and nothing will distract me from...
Erica! You can't be here. This place is filled with children.
艾瑞卡 你怎么都来了啊 这里都是臭小鬼
Coach said he saw you headed to the visitor's locker room
with a steel pipe.
You really think I'm the guy who busted that pinto's leg?
'Cause if I am, you should be a lot more goddamn scared of me.
Hey! My girlfriend's here.
Look, everyone! I have a girlfriend!
Sure. We'll cut there.
The middle of your line is as good a place as any.
- What are you doing here? - Just wanted to stop by.
We're filming Hey, I Think You Can Dance! Next door.
Look at you, all professional.
Like Natalie Portman in that movie
where she was a professional.
Who? People are watching.
The first time BoJack dates a woman his own age,
she's basically just a stunted 20-year-old.
Well, BoJack's stunted, too. He got famous in his twenties,
so he'll be in his twenties forever.
After you get famous, you stop growing, you don't have to.
成名之后 人就不会成长 因为没必要
Every celebrity has an age of stagnation.
I'm glad I never got famous.
I mean, I did write a best-selling book,
but I'm not famous-famous.
It doesn't just happen when you get famous.
Your age of stagnation is when you stop growing.
For most people, it's when they get married,
settle into a routine.
You meet someone who loves you unconditionally
and never challenges you or wants you to change,
and then you never change.
But mostly it's just the famous people, right?
This place is incredible.
I wanted to make you feel at home,
and nothing was bigger in the '80s than '50s nostalgia.
It really feels like I'm back in the '80s,
feeling like I'm back in the '50s.
It's like if Back to the Future
and Peggy Sue Got Married got married.
let's take things back to the '50s, '50s style,
with this classic '50s hit that everybody remembers:
"I Just Met My Perfect Match."
Wanda, these last few days have been so amazing.
You've given me a fresh start.
In fact, it almost feels like
I just woke up from a 30-year coma.
I'm sorry, did you say you just woke up from a 30-year coma?
- Oh, no, not me. Her. - That's insane.
-不是我 是她 -太巧了
I just woke up from a 30-year coma.
Whoa! Sorry about that needle skip, folks.
Let's start that song again from the beginning.
- Wanda. - And I'm BoJack.
It's been really tough for me these last few weeks.
I've never seen Home Alone
and everyone makes me feel like a freak because of it.
- You've never seen Home Alone? - I've never seen it!
- Also, I don't really know what a DVR is. - Neither do I!
No one does. It's just a magic box.
Wanda, we have so much in common.
Really? It's just one thing.
You can't count each individual thing you missed
as a different thing you have in common.
That's like saying I have a lot in common with Kanye West
because we both breathe air constantly.
Who? Jinx. Buy me a Coke Zero.
谁 巧了 给我买瓶零度可乐吧
What's a Coke Zero? I have no idea.
We gotta hang out more.
I didn't know there was anyone else like me.
Give me your fax and pager number
so I can add them to my Rolodex.
I don't trust that guy. I bet he's seen Home Alone.
BoJack, I'm starting to lose the thread of your character.
You think you can drop the jealous boyfriend routine?
It feels a little done.
You're right, I'm sorry. Call me Snoop Dogg
你说得没错 我道歉 叫我史努比狗狗
because I will drop it like it's hot.
BoJack, I don't...
I got that one! Snoopy the dog. From "Peanuts." Okay.
I got here as fast as I could.
Where's this next Haley Joel Osment you were telling me about?
- That was a lie to get you here. - Aw, fish.
There's never a next Haley Joel Osment.
And there never will be.
Sorry I tricked you, but with Todd running his own Disneyland
and actress Margo Martindale in prison
for some reason I don't remember,
you're the best friend I've got.
Now grab the binoculars.
I need dirt on Wanda's new gentleman friend.
No, BoJack. What's the play here?
不 波杰克 你又在玩哪出
You'll gonna find one little imperfection and harp on it forever
like you do with my boyfriend?
You do understand what my "thing" is with your boyfriend?
You'll just push her into this other guy's arms.
Wanda likes you. Why ruin that?
This is Comrade Alexander calling KGB High Command.
It's been two weeks since I woke up from deep sleep,
and I still have not been contacted by my handlers.
I am awaiting orders to take down the American dogs and pigs
and other various animals and humans.
Come in, KGB High Command.
Slap my salami, the guy's a commie.
Hey, what's going on here?
You've been served with a cease-and-desist from my clients,
the Walt Disney Company.
I wanted to make sure what we were doing here
was 100 percent legal,
- so I called a lawyer. - Wait, what?
-所以我请了个律师 -等等 什么
As it turns out, it's not legal at all. Who knew?
- Mr. Peanutbutter. - We'll see you in court.
- The food court? -No. Regular court.
-美食街吗 -不 法庭
Okay. But also I'm hungry,
so I might just stop by the food court first.
Let the record show,
this is the single dumbest case I've ever adjudicated.
- Mr. Chavez? - Okay.
I'm just gonna throw this out there.
Is it possible maybe when the other guys
tried to copyright the name Disneyland,
they wrote down something else by mistake,
so "Disneyland" is still up for grabs?
Okay, well, let's have a look at the Articles of Incorporation
to see if Walt Disney accidentally trademarked the wrong name.
- What? - There's a typo. Di-isneyland.
-怎么了 -这里有个打印错误 笛士尼
With two "i"s. That son of a gun trademarked the wrong name.
D-I-I-S. This is unambiguous.
- I find in favor of the defendant. - Aw, shit.
- You're the defendant. - Aw, sweet!
Your Otter, this is a gross miscarriage of justice.
Hooray! Gross miscarriage!
And that's how I turned my dream into
what I call "The Happiest Place On Urf."
Urf is a made-up magical kingdom I added to the Disney canon.
- Americans, they like this theme park? - Oh, they love it.
It represents everything America stands for.
- I mean, yeah. - We did it, buddy!
-我是说 是啊 -我们成功了 伙计
Actually, I did it.
I had the idea to build a park,
I did all the work and I beat the lawsuit.
Well, there's no "I" in "team," right?
But there is an "I" in "Disneyland."
And unlike that other Disneyland,
this Disneyland only has one "I".
What are you saying?
You're not welcome at my theme park anymore.
There's only room for one goofy dog there and his name is Pluto.
I've told the bees if they see you to sting you on sight.
You understand. It's nothing personal. It's just good business.
你懂的 无关私人恩怨 都是为了生意
And that's how we do business on Urf.
- I don't like you like this. - I learned it from you.
If I could get everyone's attention.
You're probably wondering why I invited you all here tonight.
You said it was to celebrate Todd's legal victory.
Right, but obviously, I don't care about that,
没错 但显然 我不是很关心那个
so you're probably wondering the real reason.
No, we just took you at face value.
We have a special guest here tonight.
Alex. Or should I say "Comrade"?
Why would you say "Comrade"?
Oh, I forgot to explain that part.
Alex is a KGB agent bent on destroying America.
- It truly is a small world after all! - Alex, is that true?
-冤家路窄啊 -亚历克斯 这是真的吗
Okay, yes. It's true.
I was a deep-cover KGB operative before I went into my coma.
I've been trying to contact my handler in Russia,
but I can't reach him and I don't know if I ever will.
No! He's-- It's not adorable!
不 他 这一点也不可敬
He's a soviet sleeper-agent
who doesn't realize the Cold War is over.
I felt totally alone in this world before I met Wanda.
And then I met all of you, my friends.
But if you're gonna kick me to the curb
just because I think you're all capitalist swine
and want to see your way of life destroyed, well, so be it.
- Or should I say, So-vi-et. - Oh! Cute. Wordplay.
-或许我该说 苏维埃你们 -好棒 双关
That's not even good wordplay.
Wait, how did you know all this?
- BoJack, were you spying on him? - He is literally a spy
-波杰克 你在监视他吗 -他才是间谍
trying to destroy America, the country we all live in.
How am I the bad guy here?
BoJack, I am really bumping
on the whole you-not-liking-Alex of it all.
- You told me you were going to drop it. - Yeah, but--
-你答应过我不会这样的 -没错 但是
I don't care about Alex.
I want to know what happened to the amazing guy
I spent the last few days with,
because if this is who you are,
I don't think I like it.
Alex, would you take me back to my sister's place?
Sure thing, Wanda. And I can get you there fast
当然 旺达 我可以很快送你过去
because I'm always Russian.
I got here as fast as I could. Where's the next Dakota Fa--?
Oh, I get what happened.
Could you get me a beer from the fridge?
I didn't want to stand up.
Wait, no. I don't deserve beer.
You called me all the way over here to not get you a beer?
Why do I always do this? I push away everyone I care about.
Oh, do you? I never noticed that.
Look, you obviously really care about this girl
and that scares you, so you sabotage yourself.
That's my problem. I'm too good at sabotage.
Why am I so good at everything I do?
Hey, I got a crazy idea.
How about you just stop sulking
and go win her back, dummy?
You're right. I gotta win her back,
put it all on the line. You know what?
I think I will have that beer, can you get it for me?
- Why do I bother? - Hey, grab a beer for yourself, too!
Actually, I want both beers!
- Wanda. - What do you want, BoJack?
-旺达 -你想干什么 波杰克
There's something I gotta say. When I was--
Todd! There's something I gotta say!
Hey, I'm kind of already doing--
I never should have tried to make your thing my thing!
I just got excited and wanted to smear Mr.Peanutbutter
all over everything.
I should have been supporting you, like this support beam.
- Or a different support beam. - It's my fault.
The point of Disneyland isn't to make money and win lawsuits.
So, these two were so consumed by greed that it destroyed them.
You know, I came here today to blow up Disneyland.
- You what? - But now I realize,
I don't need to take down capitalism.
Capitalism sows the seeds for its own destruction.
It's a snake that eats itself.
It's only a matter of time.
Hey, buddy, let's just say we--
Oh, no, no, no. No!
Quick, Todd! The mattress pile!
快 陶德 床垫堆
Jump to safety! No!
Bees, help! Your queen commands you!
蜜蜂 来帮忙 你们的女王命令你们
No! Bees! Come on!
不 蜜蜂 快回来啊
- You gotta-- Over the-- - What is it, boy? What's wrong?
-你得 那边 -怎么了小子 出什么事了
- Hey, there's trouble. - Did some kid fall down a well?
No, no, no! Listen.
He's trying to tell us a kid fell down a well.
- Let's go, go, go! Come on! - Bad, bad, bad. You gotta--
-快走快走 -不好不好 你们...
No, no, no, listen!
Wait, Wanda, we need to talk.
等等 旺达 我们得谈谈
- But the fire. - I don't care about that.
Look, the great guy you've been getting to know, that's me.
That other guy, the guy from the party,
that's me too and you need to know that. I'm not perfect.
也是我 你需要知道 我并不完美
I'm cynical and I'm possessive
and I can sometimes fly off the handle.
I'm not always the best at being not terrible.
I gotta say, I'm not loving this pitch so far.
But I want to be better, I'm trying to be better.
And when I'm around you, for the first time in 30 years,
I feel like I can be.
Wanda, you make me want to be a better man.
Wow. That's a great line.
- Did you just come up with that? - Yes.
Hey, boys and girls, this is your park DJ speaking.
And as the Titanic's band played on as the ship sank,
so too will I spin one last record
as my DJ booth is engulfed in flames.
No. I saved us.
- I want to give this a real shot. - I don't know, BoJack.
-我想认真一回 -我不知道 波杰克
I just got out of my coma, and I don't have time to waste
if you're still figuring your shit out.
Plus, it's hard to think straight with this fire everywhere.
再说了 周围都是大火 我无法正常思考
- Move in with me. - What?
I know it feels fast. We barely know each other.
It's crazy, but I like you.
And sometimes you gotta swing for the fences, right?
- Okay. - Yeah?
Yeah. Let's move in together. Let's do it.
是啊 我们同居吧 马上同居
It's crazy, but let's do it!
I was in a very famous TV show
I'm BoJack the horse. BoJack!
BoJack the horse Don't act like you don't know
And I'm trying to hold onto my past
It's been so long I don't think I'm gonna last
I guess I'll just try And make you understand
That I'm more horse than a man
Or I'm more man than a horse