I'm sorry I broke your expensive bachelor vase.
I've learned that when you're in a loving family
there's nothing wrong with a little horsin' around.
That's the show, folks.
Now, let's hear it for our amazing cast.
Little Sarah Lynn.
And our star, BoJack Horseman!
Thanks for coming out. Thank you very much.
We got the biggest laugh
I ever heard with that "Gag me with a spoon" joke.
And then we topped it with the "Get a room" joke.
Do we get to make more?
I think we got a real shot.
And as long as the ratings
don't dip below a dismal 15 million a night,
we could be on the air for many years.
- No way! - All right!
- There's your squirt, sir. - Thank you.
And if that happens, I want you to take care of each other.
No matter what, we're going to stick together.
翻译：milkon 不高兴童鞋 样爱菜 兮之 圈圈
Thank you, Tina, for those touching grunts and growls.
I'm Henry Winkler.
You probably remember me from my 2002 guest role
on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.
But perhaps the greatest role I've ever played is friend.
Herb was a dear friend
and I am honored to be dedicating this bench in his memory.
In his last days, Herb's cancer had gone into remission.
He was full of hope.
But on the drive home from the hospital, his brakes gave out,
he crashed into a truck full of peanuts.
He survived the crash, but he was allergic to peanuts.
He died instantly.
Let us now read his final tweets.
"I'm gonna live forever!
Hashtag "cancer free."
Hashtag "tweeting while driving."
Oh, no, I think I'm gonna hit that truck.
Hashtag "hopefully it isn't full of peanuts."
Hashtag "Oh, no. It was full of peanuts."
I was wondering where you wandered off to.
I'm no good with funerals.
When I cry, it messes up my makeup
and then I get really bummed out.
Herb told me you came by the house last summer.
Did he tell you anything else about it?
No, we talked about cancer, how hard it is living with cancer,
没 我们聊了癌症 患癌症生活有多痛苦
little bit about the L.A. Kings, and then back to cancer.
- Well, that's-- Probably-- - Then I read that chapter in your book
about how he never forgave you
and he tried to kick you out of the house
and you ended up wrestling on the floor over a telescope.
- Oh, you did read that part? - Yeah.
I just wish there was something I could do.
Okay, I gotta go.
Wait, I haven't seen you in 30 years.
You wanna go grab a cup of vodka? I-- I'm sorry, the funeral.
I mean, a bottle of vodka?
No. You should stick around.
Hey, maybe you'll find that something you're looking for.
But if you're ever in New Mexico, drop me a line.
I thought you lived in Maine.
I always pictured you there.
A little house by a lake?
I was just there for, like, a month, 30 years ago.
I live outside Santa Fe now.
- Think everyone here read my book? - Well, I didn't.
Of course you didn't.
Here's the Cliffs-Notes version: Shut up, Todd!
告诉你个简短的版本 "闭嘴 陶德"
Okay, you're clearly in one of your moods.
I'm gonna go play astronaut
in the trunk of your car for the next few hours.
Have fun being sad.
Do you know what you're supposed to do with our date pits?
Why serve dates and not have a place to put the pits?
You know, some people just have no class.
What are you doing here? You didn't know Herb.
No, but I do know a hot ticket,
and this funeral's a real whom's-whom.
Henry Winkler, Jake and Maggot Gyllenhaal,
that Pakistani girl who keeps winning Nobel Prizes.
I'm gonna go rub me some elbows.
There's so much to hate about what you just said.
Well, here's the good news. You know when someone dies,
everyone wants to buy their shit?
You're lucky you have a piece of Horsin' Around,
because this is where money starts rolling in.
What? I don't want that money. That's blood money.
Well, what do you want me to do with it? 'Cause it's coming.
I don't know. Give it to some orphans or something.
- I can't deal with this. - Oh, come on!
You don't think Elton John was raking it in when Diana died?
More like "Candle in the Windfall." Cha-ching!
就像《再见 英格兰玫瑰》 大卖啊
You have to live with the shitty thing you did
for the rest of your life.
Hey, Joelle, I actually came here to be alone.
嗨 乔尔 我想一个人静静
I'm at my wit's end, I truly am.
I just flew in across the pond and I don't know which end is up.
This might be a stupid question,
but were you always so... British?
Oh, let's get some light in here, it's so dreadfully dreary.
Because I'm, like, 70 percent sure you used to be American.
Hey, this one's having a freak-out. She needs to lie down.
I'm not freaking out.
I just don't understand why that lady was being all judgy.
You were touching her face
and telling her she was gonna die next.
I'm eccentric. I do weird shit.
How is that my problem?
When was the last time all four of us were in the same room?
Probably not since the show ended.
Yeah, I left California pretty much right after.
Now I got the biggest hardware store in Seattle.
That's a lie. We're actually in Olympia.
And I'm on the West End playing Juliet's... nurse.
- And how are your kids? - I don't have any kids.
Oh, I just assumed you had a bunch of kids,
'cause, you know, your body.
因为 你懂的 你那身材
Come on, Sarah Lynn.
I assumed you weren't still a massive cunt.
Jesus Christ, Joelle.
That's an okay thing to say in England.
Shove it up your ass with a spoonful of sugar,
- Guys, hey, hey, come on. - Let go of me!
- I'm gonna hulk out! - Guys, can we just be civil for one day?
-我要变身了 -各位 能文明一天吗
- Oh, you're one to talk. - What's that mean?
Were you being civil when you had sex with my mom?
What? I never-- Why would--? Wait,
什么 我从没 为啥 等等
which one was your mom? Blond hair? Glasses?
你妈是哪个 金发 戴眼镜的
- No. - This sucks. You guys suck.
-不是 -太烂了 你们太烂了
I don't even know why I came to this party.
It's not a party, it's Herb's funeral.
You know, maybe it's for the best
we don't get together that often.
We'd most likely drive each other mad.
Well, no one knows how to get under your skin like family. Right?
We're not a family, BoJack.
We probably won't even see each other again,
until the next funeral.
- Why are you all looking at me? - You are the oldest.
You are a severe alcoholic.
I'm honestly so high right now,
I don't even know where I'm looking.
Anyway, so long, thanks for the memories,
不管怎么说 再见 感谢旧事重提
and don't forget to suck a dick, dumbshi--
Pardon me. Is one of you Sarah Lynn?
I am. Of course. God, are you blind?
我就是 还用问 天你是瞎了吗
I'm Herb Kazzaz's blind executor.
Per the instructions of his last will and testament,
I am to give you this disk.
Just take the disk from the guy.
It contains directions to Herb's gold.
There were no further details.
He was a peculiar client.
I told him, I'm not actually an attorney,
I'm just a blind man.
Still, Herb thought me wise for some reason.
Perhaps it is my overly formal manner of speech.
I bid you good day.
Right at shin level.
What are we supposed to do with a floppy disk?
So, what's up, kiddo?
BoJack and my mom are becoming, like, friends
and they're acting real weird.
Hey, guys, guys, come on!
上面的 上面的 行行好
There's somebody beneath you!
Jeez, all day with the...
Listen, kiddo, forget about them.
听着 孩子 别管他们
You wanna check out this cool new game I got?
You have solitaire? On your computer?
Yep. It only took 12 disks to install it.
Herb's computer had a floppy disk drive.
I bet it's still in his old office.
Unless somebody else moved in.
Nobody wanted Herb's office, remember?
Because it was under tap dancing star
Savion Glover's office. Let's go.
- What? Right now? - Yeah. Don't you get it?
-什么 现在吗 -对 还不明白吗
Herb's giving us a reunion special.
Remember how he always wanted to do
a treasure hunt episode of Horsin' Around
but the network said it was too edgy?
This is that episode.
- I just don't know. - Yeah, I don't want to do that.
Wait, so you'd rather just stay at this funeral and be sad,
instead of going on a crazy adventure
to find our dead friend's secret treasure?
Do you have any idea how insane you all sound?
Oh, I get it. You just don't wanna be here.
No, that's not it.
Herb clearly wanted us to do this, as a family.
Who cares what he wanted?
He doesn't, because he's dead.
And we all know he hated your guts.
Yeah. He was my best friend and he died hating me
是 他曾是我最好的朋友 死前仍恨我
and nothing I do is gonna change that,
but Herb left you that disk
because he wanted us to find his gold.
If we can honor Herb's last wish, then that's something.
I don't know what, but it's something.
- Okay. For Herb. - Fine.
-好吧 为了赫比 -好吧
- Shotgun! - Everyone knows you can't call shotgun
- before you see the car! - My turn! Get out of my way!
-是不能抢位子的 -到我了 别挡着我
Brad, hang on one second.
Your mom wasn't redheaded twins, right?
Hi, Henry Winkler.
I loved you in that one episode of Law & Order: SVU.
How would you like to narrate a documentary for...
Hey, listen, I am so flattered,
but today is about Herb, so let's respect that.
Oh, God, I-- I'm so sorry.
I'll let you get back to your business.
Hey, Winkly, such a shame, isn't it?
About our friend Herb?
It really burns my brisket
that some people would turn a funeral
into some kind of schmoozefest.
Those other people are the worst.
I bet that woman barely knew Herb.
Anyway, hi, I'm Henry.
不管那个了 你好 我叫亨利
I used to volunteer with Herb
at Habitat For Humanity.
Or as we like to call it, Herbitat For Henranity.
We spent most of the day working on that name,
and only part of the day building,
but still, we helped some people.
How did you know Herb?
We also volunteered at a, um...
Soup kitchen! Whichever one is the good one.
What? I never knew you did that.
Princess Carolyn, please elaborate.
Oh, hey, Mr. Peanutbutter,
why don't you talk about how you knew Herb?
Oh, I never met the guy. I'm just here to schmooze.
Tell us about your thing, though, it fascinating .
Everyone, gather round and listen to Princess Carolyn's story.
Wow, Herb kept all this old stuff.
Look, one of those answering machines with tapes.
Mr. Kazzaz, this is Manny from Pep Boys.
We fixed the brakes on your car, pick it up tomorrow.
Just to reiterate, your brakes are in great shape
and shouldn't give you any more trouble.
Unless, of course, someone intentionally cut them,
but why would anyone do that?
I'm sorry, I'm rambling.
Probably because I'm such a big fan.
Horsin' Around was a goddamn riot!
I especially loved those kids.
You know, wasn't so crazy about the horse, though--
How could you like Horsin' Around but not the horse?
That's like watching Castle but hating castles.
I mean, I've never seen it. I assume it's about castles.
Look at all these old 20th century relics.
- How did you get here? - I was in your trunk.
Now I'm in outer space.
Cut it out with your childish high jinks.
Yeah, get out of here, dweeb.
Whoa, can't I help?
Here's 10 bucks. There's a Squirt machine
by the garage. Go get five cans of Squirt.
You got it. I won't let you down.
Your mom, was her name Karen?
- Can we drop it? - Something with a "K"?
Her name is Nora. You know,
my parents got a divorce because of you.
Nora? I don't know.
I banged so many chicks in the '80s.
Okay, Todd, you can do this.
好了 陶德 你能做到的
You just need to take this money and put it in that machine.
This-- Wait, what? What happened to the $10?
这张--等等 什么 那张十美刀怎么了
No! Wind! Be cool!
别这样 风儿 友善一点
Why does this always happen to me?
Looks like Herb set up a password.
Oh, this is easy. Try "BoJack."
- No. Didn't work. - "BoJack-BFF"?
Well, I'm out of ideas.
I'm just, like, so mad.
Well, you should be.
You're on the show that fired Herb Kazzaz.
What are the writers doing to my baby?
Are they killing it?
Are they putting my baby into a car,
then driving the car into a lake?
Topical! I still got it!
They keep giving the best story lines to Sarah Lynn.
I haven't gotten a single very special episode.
When am I gonna learn about drunk driving?
Don't worry so much. It's my legacy they're crapping all over.
You're gonna come out smelling like a daisy.
You're too good for this TV stuff, anyway.
You're a real actress, you should be doing theater.
Hey, Joelle. Wanna go to the mall this weekend?
Don't you have any friends your own age from school?
No. My mom's boyfriend home-schools me. He's a photographer.
没 我妈的男友在家教我 他是个摄影师
I'm going to the Lilith Fair this weekend to support female solidarity.
Hey, be nicer to Sarah Lynn, will you?
She didn't choose this life.
Remember this word: family. Okay?
谨记这个词 家人 好吗
You two are family, whether you like it or not,
and that's the most important thing.
You listening? What's the most important?
Family. It's family. I get it.
家人 是家人 我明白了
I've got it! The password is...
Good thinking, Joelle.
So in that memory, were you British or American?
The disk just has just one file on it, it's--
It's the address of a storage locker in Van Nuys.
This treasure hunt sucks.
At long last, can you keep down the noise, keep down the funk?
If tap dancing was gonna be a cool thing,
it would have caught on by now!
And when the mayor gave us the key to the city,
Herb said, "Volunteering isn't about keys.
It's about people."
- How touching. - Good story.
- Who are you again? - Wow, that was touching.
A story that could never be topped.
Princess Carolyn, sing us another song in the key of Kazzaz.
You clearly knew the man so well.
Please tell us another story but with even more details.
Yes. That's a great idea, Mr. Dog-Man.
没错 好主意 狗人先生
Tell us another story, Pink Cat Lady.
Come on, everybody. What is this, a funeral?
来啊 大家伙 这可是葬礼啊
Story, story, story!
再一个 再一个 再一个
Well, you blew it again.
You really are a dweeb.
Some kind of magical trash troll?
No. I'm a janitor.
But I was clearing out some of the old stages,
and I found this transformation chamber.
Looks like a bunch of old junk.
Let me tell you a story.
Back in the '90s, the biggest dweeb of them all was Steve Urkel.
It was so funny how he never knew whether or not he did that.
Right. Well, nerdy Steve Urkel invented a machine
that transformed him into the debonair Stefan Urquelle.
Mr. Janitor, you're standing next to a machine right now.
Yes. That's why I brought it up.
Now, this is just a prop.
But it represents a very powerful idea.
So if I go through that magic machine,
I'll become cool and confident?
No, it's a-- It's a prop. I just said--
不 这只是个道具 我刚说了
- I feel different. - Now, son--
-我感觉到不同了 -现在 小伙子
Todd? Who's Todd?
My name's Toad. Toad Chavay.
And I gotta get my bubble on.
Machine? Squirt me. Hi-yah!
That'll do, machine.
Look at all this Horsin' Around fan correspondence
Herb received in the post. Capital!
Someone already got to Herb's gold.
There's a bunch of fur in here.
I can tell. My stepdad was a bear.
Herb's nurse is a bear. You think she knew about this gold?
Hey, listen to this letter. I think it might be a clue.
"Dear Herb, just finished reading your novel.
I'm jealous. I wish I wrote it.
Sincerely, Henry Winkler,
the guy from that one episode of Law & Order: SVU."
Herb wrote a novel?
You look thin. Did you get into CrossFit?
No, Sarah Lynn, I'm dying.
不 萨拉·琳 我要死了
Whatever it is, it is super slimming.
I am for totes jel over here.
Some of us are eating.
Look, the reason I called you is because I need a favor.
Want me to leak a nude pic for charity?
I want you to sober up.
First of all, rude. Second, gross.
首先 你很粗鲁 其次 很恶心
I have a very important job for you,
but if you're zonked out all the time,
I'm not sure I can trust you with the responsibility.
No! I can do it! I'll get clean tomorrow.
不 我可以的 我明天就去戒毒
I said tomorrow, right?
I've been working on this novel.
I wanna be remembered for something.
All I ever did was that
stupid sitcom that got ripped away from me.
But now, with this book, I have something good.
但现在 有了这本书 我就有好作品了
I'm telling you, this book is gold.
It's my Kazzaz-terpiece.
I want you to make sure it gets published after I die.
You can count on me.
To life, huh? It'll kill you.
Oh, my God, the gold is his manuscript.
Herb made me promise to get it published after he died.
And you're just remembering this now?
Yeah, I'm remembering a lot of stuff. The ketamine's wearing off.
没错 我要记的事情太多了 K粉都没效了
Oh, my God, you were the other kid on Horsin' Around.
That's why you've been following us around all day.
So no one's read this book except for Henry Winkler
and now the book is missing?
He must have been waiting for Herb to die
so he could steal the book and publish it himself.
But then when the cancer went into remission--
Guys, I don't think that car crash was an accident.
I think Herb might have been murdered!
Something about a merger?
My name's Toad, baby.
Yo! That's my bike!
Damn. I know I should be mad,
but that guy's just so cool.
And when the river finally stopped,
Herb went over to a poor little Ottawan boy
and he said, "Son, you have water now."
跟他说 孩子 现在有水了
You know, a lot of people go their whole lives
and they never give a damn.
But Herb? He gave those beavers a dam.
That was beautiful.
You clearly had a special relationship.
We were gonna sprinkle Herb over the ocean,
but his resting place
should be someplace meaningful, don't you think?
Why don't you take this up to Ottawa and spread his ashes there.
And make sure you take a video,
and I'll e-mail blast it to everyone here.
So we can always remember your great friendship.
Henry Winkler is a stone-cold killer!
What? I'm not a killer.
Unless you mean killer of gloom,
because I bring joy everywhere I go.
Did you mean "Killer of gloom
because I bring joy everywhere I go"?
You know that's not what I meant.
You murdered Herb so you could publish his book
But we're not gonna let you steal his legacy, Henry Winkler.
I was afraid this would happen.
- Oh, no, he's got a gun! - Oh, no!
-不好 他有枪 -不好了
No, I have Herb's book.
I didn't kill Herb, but I did steal his manuscript.
- So that I could burn it. - What?
Because it's terrible.
Well, I'll see for myself.
"The air in 1830s California
was fragrant with the flowers of laughter
and the smoke of adventure."
After he died, Tina and I agreed
we couldn't let the book get published.
It would have turned Herb into a laughingstock.
"The carpenter's boy was a hungry boy.
Hungry for crumpets. But also hungry, dot, dot, dot, for life."
He literally wrote out "Dot, dot, dot."
I know there's no accounting for taste, but come on.
He's right. Herb wanted a legacy, but he already has one.
他说得对 赫比想留下点什么 但已经留下了
People loved Horsin' Around. This would only ruin that.
I'm sorry I accused you of murder,
American TV legend Henry Winkler.
No need to apologize.
You ascribed a mystery to Herb's death to give it meaning.
But there is no meaning in death.
That's why it's so terrifying.
It was just easier to believe that you killed him for his book
than believe that he just died for nothing.
There is no shame in dying for nothing.
That's why most people die.
I just wanted to fix things somehow.
I'm sorry, Horse Guy, but you can't.
抱歉 马儿 但你无法弥补
But let's not get distracted
from what a true friend Princess Carolyn is.
Don't forget the ashes, Princess Carolyn.
Courtesy of the Toad-man.
Thanks. Hey, why'd you roll up your sleeves like that?
Well, you know, I was-- I was trying out a new look.
It was-- It was a dumb idea.
- Here's your Squirt, sir. - Thank you.
-你的饮料 先生 -谢谢
And if that happens, I want you to take care of each other.
No matter what, we're going to stick together.
- Congratulations! - Hey, good job.
- You've got a goddamn hit on your hands. - Anyone got coke?
ABC sent us limousines to take us to the wrap party.
I'm scared. I've never been in a limo.
Don't worry. We'll take care of you.
- Seriously, no one has coke? - Let's go.
You don't wanna go to the party?
Hey, we never got a chance to walk around the lot.
Wanna check out that water tank where they filmed The Love Boat?
Are you kidding? I've always wanted to get tanked in a tank.
- Quiet. Be careful. - Oh, okay, okay.
-安静 小心 -好好
- What? - What--? The water's only two inches deep.
-什么 -什么 水只有两尺深啊
Well, that's Hollywood for you.
Are you scared at all?
That if the show takes off, everything's going to change?
No, I'm not scared, BJ. The future is bright.
我不害怕 波杰克 未来一片光明