"George Bernard Shaw."
Jimbo, you made me breakfast in bed?
Yeah, right. What have you done to merit breakfast now?
Well, at least you brought me a mimosa.
Uh, no, that's my backup. It's stronger.
不 那是我的醒脑酒 比较烈
You might observe,
"Jimmy, how zoetic and vital you seem today."
"How observant, G-dog,"
For today, I build my tree house!
You see, during Vernon's podcast...
I learned that my father's voice
has been in my head my entire life.
Dude, I have the same thing, but with my mom's voice.
兄弟 我也是 不过是我妈的声音
- It's like she's constant... - Yeah, as I was saying about myself,
-就跟她总是... -对啊 我自己也常说
ever since the funeral, that voice has been slowly subsiding.
It is my hope that the final nail in that tree house
will be the final nail in the coffin that is my father's influence.
I'm telling you, Gretchen,
now that I have been de-fathered,
my world is positively pregnant with possibilities.
Great, but isn't it your job to finish your book?
I don't know anymore.
I guess I can't talk.
I'm reading goddamn self-help.
Oh, yes, that's sure to solve your myriad problems.
My therapist recommended it.
It's about mindfulness,
- which is about being completely-- - No!
I think you'd actually like therapy.
It's really helpful to look at your life from a different perspective.
Like when they stood on the desks in Dead Poets Society.
Didn't that one kid shoot himself?
how because of my mom's impossibly high expectations,
I can never turn my brain off.
I am really opening the trunk and seeing what's inside.
Don't you mean the hood?
Your trunk's just cartons of Mexican cigarettes,
old Halloween wigs
and five bags of clothes you never donated to Goodwill.
I really need to get a handle on this mindfulness shit.
I am doing the work.
I'm evolving, Jimmy.
I just don't want you to get left behind.
I think I'll manage.
Do not touch with your syrup
and-God-knows-what-else-since you-don't-wash-your-legs hands.
You're changing careers to building tree houses.
I'm exploring the roots of my mental illness.
Hey, before we change too much, you want to knock one out?
Eh, you can start. I'll catch up.
Nothing can slow me down,
but who says that eating on the run...
You have been blowing up all morning.
High Times tweeted my Dr. Weed video,
and now I'm getting all these annoying tweets from stoners.
I don't want to be a pot person.
You make videos with a character called "Dr. Weed,"
and you smoke all day, every day.
I stopped taking my meds.
- What? You went off your meds and you didn't tell me? - Yeah.
-什么 你停药了却没告诉我 -对
I didn't want to, you know, declare anything
until I saw how it worked, and listen,
a lot of vets are using weed to help with their PTSD.
I mean, sure, I might take a little longer to do some things.
Like this morning, I laughed for 15 minutes
because the bathroom faucet kind of looks like a face.
Better than I have in...
Okay, well, then good.
I am so glad that you finally found something that works.
And if you do turn into a lazy pothead,
then you can always be my house husband.
Speaking of which, let's do this.
Nothing can slow me down,
but who says that eating on the run has to be boring?
With Snack Hacker Snacker Boxes,
I get my daily recommended allowance of fun.
Will you knock it off and eat your goddamn nachos like a person!
What's wrong with you?
My therapist said I have to practice mindfulness,
so I am focusing on the flavor of the food,
the mouth feel, the swallowing,
the reflecting... on my swallowing.
Jesus Christ, it's like trying to eat an area rug.
But less food in mouth.
Did you know that things your parents did when you were a kid
你知道吗 你的小时候 父母的行为
can affect you as an adult?
What?! You mean time travel?
Everything was a competition with my mom--
grades, tennis, who had a lower BMI, even television.
成绩 网球 谁体重指数低 甚至电视
she'd make me solve the puzzle before the contestants.
All this time, I thought my mom was scary but dope.
一直以来 我认为我妈很凶 但人很棒
Turns out she wasn't dope at all.
This morning I realized my entire life,
I've had my mom's judgey voice in my head.
If I don't learn to replace it with something else mo' better,
That's what you get for disrespecting nachos.
Okay, so here's your pie flight,
double cream lemon, Kahlúa cream cheese and chocolate satin.
双倍柠檬奶油 甘露乳酪 巧克力脆皮
Aw, I'm eating for two for the last time.
Well, you had a good run.
- You ready, lady? - Yup.
-准备好了吗 小姐 -好了
Let's go get this abobo.
A toast to my triumph,
my creation completed after an honest day of manual labor,
Thank you Herr Hammer.
I could not have done it without you.
I'll meet you below for a celebratory Pilsner shortly.
you have been integral to my success,
from your green liquid to your bubble.
I counted on you most of all.
Enjoy a Campari on me.
Oh, man, so many of the girls that I coach are here.
It's like if you dig the student,
you're really gonna love the master, right?
You're gonna kill it.
You signed in for "Cute Yoga Girl,"
but I think we got our wires crossed with your agent.
We were actually excited to see you for "Overworked Mom."
Awesome. We have a bathrobe you can just put on.
- Yeah. - Excellent.
Are you sure this is okay?
You practiced the other one.
Edgar, this kind of stuff happens all the time.
It's part of the biz.
Okay, I'm gonna go in the bathroom
and rub off some of this under eye concealer
so I look super beat.
Do you need more weed?
- You're Dr. Weed, right? - Yeah.
-你是大麻医生 对吧 -是
Oh, yeah, the, uh... the pot comedy guy.
Among other things, but sure, that's the brand.
我还有其他作品 但没错 就是这个牌子
Super funny vids, man.
You should swing by my "Office" sometime.
I've got a project I think you might be interested in.
Yeah. That... that would be great.
So, what are you auditioning for?
Oh, I just nailed the role of "Sleepy Dad."
Do you have a diagnosis for my character?
My diagnosis is...
you need more sleep.
You need more weed!
I thought that was going to be the diagnosis.
Why do cats get to have all the good tongues?
You sure you're okay if I don't go in with you?
- I really have to do this meditation app. - Sure.
I'll go in alone. They know me.
Great, so, you'll be out in
- 40, 45 minutes. - 40, 45 minutes.
保罗:糟了 我打这段时他又瞪了我一眼到此为止 回头聊
And another thing, Jillian, you are--
还有件事 吉利安 你...
- Who are you texting? - Can you hear him?
He's yelling at me right now.
Why can't I stop texting? I guess I just miss you so much.
- Bye! - Give me that phone. Give...
-拜拜 -把手机给我 给我...
Difficult decision, huh?
Would you like to chat?
Maybe I can help you figure out some of your troubles.
So, what's bothering you?
Well... it started when...
All right. Let's do this shit.
During this meditation
we will focus on being...
Where you are not in the past,
not in the future,
- but in... - Present.
Clear your mind and focus on your...
And your breathing.
Yes! Suck it, lady.
没错 吃屎吧 婆娘
Notice the rise and fall of your chest.
Notice the rise...
Oh, God, so boring, I want to kill myself.
Eject, eject, eject.
Where the hell is he?
Sure, when I'm trying to have sex in my kitchen,
he's constantly underfoot, but now...
What if Pauline Two...
No, I am not writing today.
No, no, Malcolm!
不 不要 马尔科姆
Characters, stop speaking through me.
Oh, my God, chapter 12. I could have Simon
天啊 第12章 我可以让萨蒙
jump up on the speakers at the oasis set at Glastonbury.
No, I am.... not-not doing this!
Oh, Simon, you brilliant, horny bastard.
Suck it, Dad, I'm still a writer.
滚蛋吧 爸 我还是个作家
Oh, no, not today.
So then I heated up the condom in the microwave
and I got a turkey baster.
Wait, I need you to back up.
Okay, so I wanted a popsicle...
Lindsay, do not let those pro-life assholes
talk you out of your legal right!
I was already having second thoughts before this nice lady came over.
If Paul and I get divorced,
I'm not gonna have a family anymore.
Name one family that's just one person.
that becoming a real human being is a scary thing,
but I'll help you.
I got your back always.
Bam, nice try, terrorists.
砰 失败了吧 恐怖分子
Another victory for women's rights.
Actually, I was gonna tell her to do it.
In my book, there are extenuating circumstances --
rape, incest and...
whatever this is.
Mr. Benson will see you now.
I'm walking away from the table.
I'll call you from the chopper.
Sorry, I had to handle that
before the European markets closed.
This-um-this place isn't what I was expecting.
Listen, I was looking at my third quarter staffing budget
and I'd like to offer you a few days
punch up on a show I'm doing for WAZE.
The GPS app? Isn't that dangerous?
You'd think so,
but no, the show's only gonna play at stop lights and in traffic.
So, what do you think you should be paid?
Hey, you want to, uh...
light up and celebrate?
Edgar, this is a place of business.
What are you thinking about?
You're thinking about what you're eating right now?
Of course. If I'm eating pie,
If I have a fork in my mouth,
I'm thinking fork.
You just had an abortion,
you're divorcing your husband,
and you're literally only thinking about
what's happening in this moment?
You might be some kind of secret mindfulness guru.
I'm gonna take notes.
Just, uh, speak your thoughts out, okay?
就 把你的想法都说出来 好吗
Waitress is coming over.
- Can I get you anything else? - Talking to me.
Gretchen's still here.
I had such a productive day.
I just made $80 cleaning out
this rich old lady's closet in Beverly Hills.
I have good news, too.
Ooh, did Jimmy make you buy more of those
disgusting candies that I like?
I got offered a job,
writing for Doug Benson's new show.
- Really? ? - Yeah.
You got a job writing comedy for a TV show?
Yeah. I mean, it's a short-term gig
a-and there are a ton of liability waivers I have to sign,
That's-- you know that I know Doug, right?
Did you tell him that we're dating?
No, I didn't know you knew him.
Oh, yeah, for years.
Like, way back when he was doing his show at the theater,
I used to bring him waters.
I can't believe that you didn't know
You totally should've told him.
He would have lost his mind.
That is so cool that he's giving you this opportunity.
I thought you didn't want to be a pot guy.
But now I'm a pot guy with a J-O-B.
Can you believe it?
I'm a comedy writer!
- I totally can't. - And...
I couldn't...have ever done it... without you, teach.
如果没有你 我是不可能做到的 老师
How about I go upstairs
whip us up some of my famous breakfast soup dumplings?
I'll be right up.
Everything looks so different from up here.
Uh-huh, there is a "J."
If you can solve the puzzle right now...
There is a jackpot of nearly $10,000
in addition to the money you have.
If not, you have to either
buy a vowel or spin the wheel.
- I'll solve the puzzle. - Go ahead.
"I Have The Wine" By Johnny Cash.
Oh, my God, you are so...
That is not correct.
Nope, just watch.
Pick up that gift tag...
the rise...and fall of your chest.
胸腔的 起 伏
I'm hella mindful now.
Why are you covered in yard?
I did what you said.
I looked at my life from an outside perspective.
Yeah. Doesn't it feel great?
No, it was terrifying.
I didn't recognize any of it.
I don't recognize my life.
I don't know whether I made any of the right decisions.
Everything could be wrong.
It's "I Walk the Line."