我以为我不会再见到你了 除非你遇到了麻烦I thought I wouldn't see you again unless you were in trouble.
我现在有麻烦了Oh! I am in trouble!
你是说我这个麻烦吗Ohh! You mean this kind of trouble.
他太棒了 逗比属性 会讲笑话He's so great. He's funny, he makes jokes.
她转过头来发现 真是天赐良机She turned around and it was the golden one!
你需要听他把话讲完You, sort of, needed to hear the top bit.
- 我喜欢文字游戏 - 他很聪明- I love word play. - Oh, he's clever.
莎士比亚也玩文字游戏Shakespeare uses word play.
- 他会说... - 我明天有个大案子- He says things like... - I've got a big case tomorrow.
他有点控制欲He's a little bit controlling.
- 别吃那个 - 但应付的过来- Don't eat that. - But it's manageable.
- 我要吃 - 好吧- I'm going to. - Okay.
- 他是女权主义 - 我有一个妹妹- He's a feminist. - I have a sister.
- 他难以捉摸 - 我去个大号- He's unpredictable. - I'm just going to go for a shit.
你想做爱吗...you want to go and have sex?
- 老娘就喜欢直来直去 - 我很棒- That's better. - I'm really good at it.
- 胡扯 - 我真的很棒- He won't be. - I'm really good at it.
他真的很棒He's really good at it.
不要吐I'm not going to be sick.
不要吐I'm not going to be sick.
- 需要帮忙... -不用- Do you need a hand with any of...? - No, no.
我帮你拿大管吧 如果你...I can at least take the bassoon if you...
不用 我拿得了No, I am perfectly balanced.
- 昨晚又出去浪了 - 那么明显吗- Big night, last night? - Is it obvious?
你开心就好Well, at least someone's having fun.
等等 我可以帮着拿...Wait, I can get the...
- 你是要吐吗 - 不是- Are you going to be sick? - Nope.
她今天最好速度点She'd better be quick today.
我之后有一个很重要的约会 不能错过I've got a serious appointment later, I can't miss it.
- 非常重要 - 什么样的约会- It's very important. - What kind of appointment?
绝对不能失约I can't miss it, okay?
- 你需要我... - 不需要...- Do you need me to...? - I don't need you...
你做任何事 谢谢...to do anything, thank you.
除非你能想办法阻止这场Unless you can find a way to stop this horrendous wedding
把东西放在那边吧Just leave these things there for now, yeah.
开始之前想来杯茶吗You like a quick cup of tea before you start?
- 已经泡好了 - 我今天赶时间- It's already in the pot. - I have to be pretty quick today.
水或者杜松子酒就好Water or some gin would be lovely.
进来吧 我们有一盘Come through. We have a tray of
巧克力做的吃的 特好吃lovely, sweet, chocolaty things
我们亲爱的朋友也刚好来串门了and our lovely friend has just dropped round.
- 嗨 - 嗨 亲爱的- Hi. - Hello, darling.
我要吐了Oh, I'm going to be sick.
你还好吗 你脸色好差You all right? You look horrendous.
谢谢 只是浪了一整晚Oh, thanks. Just a big night.
我很快就走 我没... 不需要...I only meant to be quick, I wasn't... Didn't need to...
没想到会见到全家人Wasn't expecting the whole family, wow!
她俩那幅画就要画完了 是不是很有趣They're being painted. Isn't that fun?
太有趣了 我晚点再过来吧So fun! Um, I can come back later?
说吧So, come on, fill us in.
也许这样更好 都应该听听婚礼计划Probably better, actually, that we should all hear the plans.
我只是想过来Right, well, I just wanted to pop in,
事实上 来告诉你们actually, to say that, um...
这周末我有其它事情了...I've been called away this weekend
我明天恐怕不能and I'm afraid I won't be
主持结婚典礼了able to officiate at the ceremony tomorrow.
我得去看他So, I have to go and see him.
他得什么病了Wh-what's he ill with?
- 他没事吧 - 他...- Is he all right? - He's he's...
说实话 他状态不太好He's in a bit of a state, to be honest.
我不能主持婚礼了...I just can't do it.
等着她发飙吧Oh, this is going to be spectacular.
你当然要去看他Well, of course, you must go.
- 真的吗 - 当然- Really? - Of course!
家人第一 家人永远第一位Family first! Always family first.
你必须去 直接去看他You must go! Get straight to him.
告诉我你进展到哪步了就行Just send me through the details of what you've worked out so far
我们会想办法的and we'll sort something out.
真没想到你们这么通情达理Well, I've put out the feelers for somebody else and...
我想我们可能得...Well, uh, I think we might have to...
别想着它了 你的事更加重要Don't even think about it, this is much more important.
你必须去 去吧 去吧You must go! Go, go, go!
好吧 十分感谢你们的理解Okay, well... well, thank you so much for your understanding.
好的 当然 当然Yeah, well, sure, sure, sure.
祝你们一切顺利 回头见All the best and I'll see you again.
我很抱歉 祝你们有美好的一天I'm sorry. Have a great day!
再见 亲爱的Oh, goodbye, darling.
- 祝你好运 - 再见- Good luck! - Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
- 大傻逼 - 不 不...- What a cunt! - No, no...
- 混蛋 他妈的混蛋 - 请你别这样- Bastard! Fucking bastard! - Please, don't react like this.
- 没必要说这种话 - 不要碰我- There's no need to talk like this. - Don't touch me!
我要画画 我要画画 立刻Christ, I need to paint. I need to paint, now!
- 我觉得你们应该... - 好的- I think you should, uh... - Yes, okay.
问题解决了Well, that solves that problem.
替他松了口气Well, I'm relieved for him.
很好 只是去咖啡店要迟到了Yeah, just late for the cafe.
- 抱歉 - 我的天- Whoa! Sorry. - Oh, my God!
抱歉 抱歉 抱歉Sorry, sorry, sorry.
天啊 你坐这多久了Jesus! How long were you there?
只有三秒 真的Literally three seconds.
- 你不能就这样取消婚礼 - 我没有选择- You can't just cancel a wedding. - I don't have a choice.
你袍子都买了But you have the dress.
我不能 我不能 我不能I can't, I can't, I can't...
听着 我只是要说...Listen, I just need to say...
不 我知道...No, no, no! I know what...
我不想知道I don't want to know!
你不知道我要说什么I don't think you know what I'm gonna say!
请你不要再来教堂了Please don't come to the church again.
致以最诚挚的问候...with the greatest of compliments.
我强烈建议买保险I'd strongly advise taking out insurance.
- 问题是... - 我要忍- The problem is... - I can deal with it.
- 那年轻人 七英尺高 - 忍住- ...the young, uh, seven-foot-tall, - I can deal with it.
一个很大的扶手椅a very large armchair.
- 他甚至感觉不到... - 我忍不了了- So he didn't even feel... - I can't deal with it.
那只南美栗鼠 被他活活闷死...the chinchilla, you know, suffocating underneath him.
今天是周二 乔It's Tuesday, Joe.
不啊 今天是唠嗑星期三No, it's Chatty Wednesday.
不是 今天是闭嘴星期二No, it's Quiet Tuesday.
确实是唠嗑星期三It's Chatty Wednesday.
那是一只非常小的南美栗鼠Well, it was a very small chinchilla...
能不能别说了 就一秒钟 拜托 乔No, can we just stop chatting, just for a second please, Joe?!
嗯 你还好吗Uh, yeah. Are you okay?
你看起来像是被摧残了You look like something bad's happened.
我还以为我看着挺开心的I thought I was looking jolly.
我找到新工作了I've been offered a new job.
我就是想说声再见But I just wanted to say goodbye...
然后送你这个...and to give you this.
不好意思 是我姐姐Oh, sorry, it's my sister.
她有点神经质 你介不介意我She's a bit mental, do you mind if I...?
行啊 我没打算呆太久Sure, I wasn't going to stay so...
- 克莱尔 - 全完了- Claire? - Something's happened!
全都毁了Something awful has happened!
- 什么 - 我没法- What?! - I can't...
- 你在哪 要我过去吗 - 我没法呼吸了- Where are you? You need me to come? - I can't breathe!
不 不 我就是 我完蛋了No, no, I just, I fucked it up.
我他妈全搞砸了 你能来吗I fucked everything up! Can you come?
我得把咖啡馆关了 我可以I mean, I-I have to close the cafe. But I can...
- 告诉我你在哪 - 不 别关- Just tell me where you are. - No, don't close.
- 对不起 不要...- I'm so sorry, but, but no...
需要的话 我可以照看这里I can look after the place, if you like?
- 真的? - 我要到周一才开始上班- Really? - Well, I don't start till Monday.
- 我挺喜欢这的 - 好吧- I just like it. - Oh, okay.
你在和我说话吗Are you talking to me?
你能不能给希拉里和...Could you give Hillary and, um...
- 不 别带着希拉里 - 斯蒂芬妮- No, don't bring Hillary. - Stephanie.
斯蒂芬妮喂点黄瓜 两点半的时候Stephanie, some cucumber at 2:30?
- 谁是斯蒂芬妮 - 谢了- Who's Stephanie? - Yeah. Thanks.
克莱尔 告诉我你在哪Um, Claire, just tell me where you are?
- 到底怎么了 -快过来 我需要你...- What the hell has happened? - No, just come! I need you to...
- 说实话 - 灾难啊- Tell the truth. - It's horrendous.
- 灾难啊 - 挺时尚的- It's horrendous. - It's modern.
- 别撒谎 - 我没有- Don't lie! - I'm not!
我和支铅笔似的I look like a pencil.
- 你不像 - 不许笑- You don't look like a... - Don't laugh!
- 还好啦 - 一点儿也不好- It's okay! - It's not okay,
- 我会失业的 - 不会的 挺酷的- I'm going to lose my job. - You won't lose your job, it's cool.
- 一点都不酷 - 超前卫- It's not cool! - It's edgy.
- 真的 超炫 - 无可救药了- No, it's chic. - It's unsalvageable!
克莱尔 这很法式Claire, it's French!
- 真的吗 -真的- Really? - Yes.
在他毁掉我的生活之前 他教会了我喝酒Oh, he gave me champagne before he ruined my life.
我就是这么上钩的That's how they get you.
你去安东尼那了Did you go to Anthony?
- 克莱尔 - 我知道- Claire! - I know.
搞什么 你不记得我上次被弄成什么样了吗What?! You remember what happened to me?!
我当时真以为那是最后一次见他I honestly thought it was the last time I was going to see him.
我是说 那挺糟糕的 不过我Um, I mean, that's awful, but if I...
- 他的小脸蛋是那么的... - 安东尼- His little face was just... - Anthony!
- 你要求他这么剪的吗 - 不 当然没有- Is this what you asked for? - No, of course not!
他就是个混蛋He's just a bastard.
- 啥 - 来吧- What?! - Come on!
别 别 好吧No, no! It's... All right!
- 不要 - 安东尼- No! - Anthony.
不 她就是这么要求的No! That is exactly what she asked for.
她没有 我们要求赔偿No, it's not! We want compensation.
- 克莱尔? - 我还有两个重要会议- Claire? - I've got two important meetings
现在却看起来像支铅笔and I look like a pencil.
别 你自己的决定 别怪罪到我头上来No! Don't blame me for your bad choices.
头发又不是一切Hair isn't everything.
头发就是一切Hair is everything.
我们倒希望它不是We wish it wasn't,
那样我们才能偶尔想点别的so we could actually think about something else occasionally,
它是美好一天和糟糕一天的区别It's the difference between a good day and a bad day.
它是力量的象征We're meant to think that it's a symbol of power,
活力的象征that it's a symbol of fertility.
你用它赚钱Some people are exploited for it
它养活了你and it pays your fucking bills!
头发就是一切 安东尼Hair is everything, Anthony.
把参考图给她看Show her the reference.
把垃圾桶拿过来...bring me the bin.
你要是想改变你的生活 就去改变生活If you want to change your life, change your life.
剪成杀马特是没用的It's not going to happen in here.
- 不是我想来的 - 下周见- I didn't mean to turn up. - See you next week.
你有烟没You got any cigarettes?
- 谢谢你陪我 - 就当是发泄吧- Thank you for being there. - It was cathartic.
你跟那医生没成还挺可惜的Shame you didn't get to keep that doctor.
很遗憾你流产了I'm sorry you lost it.
我不想给我丈夫生孩子I didn't want my husband's baby.
我还没问你怎么样呢I haven't even asked you how you are?
你还好吧 有没有什么八卦How are you? What's going on with you?
- 什么 真的 - 是啊- What? Really? - Yeah.
天啊 太棒了 他是做什么的Oh, my God, that's amazing! What does he do?
- 我的老天 - 是吧- Oh, my God. - Yeah.
- 你是在开玩笑吗 - 没有- You are joking? - No.
- 抱歉 - 我懂- I'm sorry. - I know.
- 就是 我知道这肯定很复杂It's just, I'm sure it's very complicated.
- 对 非常痛苦 - 但是 难道这不是- Yes! It's very painful. - But it, it's just...
- 你可真是个人才...you're a genius.
你是被派来拯救我的吧You're my fucking hero.
天呐 天呐天呐天呐Oh, God. Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
- 克莱尔 - 科莱尔- Claire! - Klare!
- 嗨 - 天啊 克莱尔- Hi! - Oh, my God, Claire,
- 我好喜欢你的发型 - 哦- I love your hair! - Oh!
克莱尔 真的又可爱又前卫又酷Claire, it's so cute and edgy and cool.
- 谢谢 - 像超级巨星 偶像- Oh, thank you. - Like superstar, pop star.
听着 这二位要带我去看Listen, these penguins are taking me
一出新的超棒的音乐剧to this new amazing London music thing.
- 你有空吗 - 有- Are you free? - Yes.
- 你想来吗 - 哦 我- You want to come? - Oh, I...
我还得把大管送到我继子那儿I have to take my step-son his bassoon.
我是说 我真希望能去I mean, I wish I could.
我明天就要走了 所以...Well, I leave tomorrow. So...
我去送I'll take the bassoon.
我来吧 我去送I've got it. I'll take it.
不 他想让我送Oh, um... No, he's expecting me to.
没事 告诉杰克大管在我的咖啡馆No, no. No, just, just tell Jake it's with me at the cafe.
- 真的 没问题 - 哦- Honestly, it's fine. - Oh.
不想妨碍你们家人共度时光Hey, I don't want to get in the way of your family day.
没事 我来 妨碍她共度时光吧 拜托了No, I'll take it. Please, get in the way of her family days.
告诉杰克大管在我这儿Just tell Jake I've got it.
拜 克莱尔 拜 科莱尔Bye, Claire. Bye, Klare.
我真不敢相信你剪得这么好看I can't believe your hair!
真的超级时髦 超级可爱It's so chic and cute! It's all the things!
和你的上衣很搭Goes so well with your top.
天啊 你嘴真甜My, God, that's so sweet of you.
说真的 今天可折腾死我了Honestly, I've had such a day with it.
- 好吧 - 是啊- Yeah, all right. - Yeah.
把我累得够呛Well, that was exhausting.
- 新的豚鼠... - 仓鼠- The new guinea pig... - Hamster.
...和希拉里在一起...is in with Hillary.
她们分享了黄瓜 非常甜蜜They shared the cucumber okay, which was quite sweet.
我想说随时效劳 但是...Well, I'd say any time but, uh...
你找到了新工作You have a new job.
我还会常来的I will be back, though.
我妻子会喜欢唠嗑星期三的My wife would love Chatty Wednesdays.
你有访客Oh! You have a visitor.
他说认识你 所以我就让他进去等了He said he knew you, so I let him wait in there.
很高兴能与你工作Pleasure doing business with you.
他要讲大管的笑话了He's going to make a bassoon joke.
你手里的是大管吗 还是见到我太高兴Is that a bassoon in your hand or are you just pleased to see me?
你对你儿子也这么说吗Would you say that to your son?
当然 当他拿着大管时When he has his bassoon, sure.
但他不会高兴见到我的 所以...But he's never pleased to see me, so...
好没道理 为什么我拿着大管...It doesn't even make sense. Why would a bassoon in my hand...
因为在你手里像大屌Like a dick in your hand.
如果我拿着一截切掉的大屌朝你走来Oh, right so if I was walking towards you with an amputated dick
你会觉得我很淫荡in my hand you'd think I was horny.
我会认为你生性如此Well, I'd assume that you had been.
当然 就算你把别人的大屌给切了Certainly wouldn't put it past you
我也不会惊讶的to chop a dick off.
把豚鼠放下Put the guinea pig down.
- 她在哪儿 - 干嘛- Where is she? - Why?
应该是她送大管才对Well, she was meant to have dropped that off
而且她也不在办公室and she's not at the office.
我不知道她在哪里Oh, I don't know where she is.
那大管是从哪儿来的So, you just found that, huh?
别伤害豚鼠Please don't hurt the guinea pig.
我绝不会伤害豚鼠I would never hurt the guinea pig.
下来吧 甜心Here we go, sweetie.
可爱的要命It's fucking adorable.
你确定我们还要聊吗Are you sure we should even be talking?
你不是想让我坐牢什么的吗Aren't you supposed to be getting me arrested or something?
她真的什么都跟你说 不是吗She really tells you everything, doesn't she, hm?
- 天哪 马丁 - 少废话- Ah, Jesus, Martin. - Fuck off!
你才是原因所在 知道吗You are the problem, you know that?
我如此悲催 都是因为你You are the problem in my perfect, awful life.
我都一年没见你了I haven't seen you in a year.
但她还是会为你两肋插刀And yet still off she runs, into the night, for you.
我甚至没法让女人怀孕I can't even get the woman pregnant.
结果你竟然炫耀自己流产了And then you come in showing off about your miscarriage,
好像你根本不想要那个孩子like you didn't even want the one you had.
我只是想让她好受一点I was just trying to make her feel better!
- 把手机给我 - 不- Give me your phone. - No.
她是要离开我吗Is she leaving me?
别让她离开我Don't let her leave me.
别让她离开我 求你了Don't let her leave me, please.
我希望她今晚不回家I hope she doesn't come home tonight.
羊绒的 羊绒的Ah! Cashmere, cashmere, cashmere!
你给我等着 臭婊子I will take you down, fucker.
你给我等着 傻逼I will take you down, fucker.
- 去你妈的 - 去你妈的- Fuck you! - Fuck you!
- 操你妈 - 操你妈- Fuck you! - Fuck you!
操你妈 你最好赶紧找个律师上床Fuck you! You better start sleeping with a lawyer!
我已经和一个律师睡了I'm already sleeping with a lawyer!
最后赶紧给我律师打电话I'd better call my lawyer.
你们懂的 当一个帅气 但疑似厌恶女性的人You know that feeling when the hot misogynist who might not be
四十八小时内再一次出现在你的家中a misogynist is turning up at your house for the second time
把你干到高潮九次 而你和他搞in 48 hours to give you nine orgasms you don't want,
只是为了just to do something to
逃避现实 因为世界上get your head out of the fact the only person
你唯一想见的人是个神父...you want to see in the world is the priest that you...
所以你要振作起来 浑身涂满椰子油So, you pick yourself up, cover yourself in coconut oil
希望他没有注意到 你忘了刮毛...and hope he hasn't noticed that you haven't shaved your...
你姐姐把你家地址给我了Your sister gave me your address.
你是要出去吗Are you on your way out?
不 我只是... 刚进来Oh, no, I just... I just got in.
我大衣下面只穿了内衣I've only got underwear under this coat.
我能进来吗Okay. Can I come in?
- 房子不错 - 谢谢- It's nice. - Oh, thank you.
不了 谢谢 我想保持清醒No, thanks, I want to keep a clear head.
关于婚礼 我改主意了Uh, I've changed my mind about the wedding.
我不能让他们失望I can't let them down like that.
显然也没别人会穿那套衣服And apparently no-one else will wear the outfit.
那很好啊Well, that's good of you.
- 你要脱掉大衣吗 - 不 这样很好- You gonna take off your coat, or...? - Oh... no. No, I'm good.
为了现在的生活 我牺牲了很多I sacrificed a lot for this life.
我放弃了很多东西You know? I've given a lot of things up.
你不去开门吗Do you want to get that?
不 我不喜欢给不认识的人开门Oh, no. I don't like opening the door to people I don't know.
如果... 如果有访客Look if-if... if-if there's someone you need to see
要请他进来吗 还是...or, or let in, or...?
不用 真的没事No, honestly, honestly, it's fine.
当我还是个孩子时 我...When I was a child, I...
- 是我 小姐 - 我就...- Me lady?! - I'm just...
我马上...I'll just be, um, just...
你又有麻烦啦So, you're in trouble again, huh?
我的天 你不能进来Oh, my God, listen, you can't come in.
好吧 你想在门口来一发吗Okay! You want to do it on the doorstep?
不 我的神父在这里 他需要我指点迷津Uh, no. My priest is here and he really needs some guidance.
不 我想他是遇到了情感危机No, I'm hoping he's having an emotional crisis.
我要等着吗 你说想见我的Shall I wait? You said you wanted to see me?
对 我之前是想见你 但现在不想了Yes, I did want to see you, but now I don't want to see you.
我做错什么了吗 你很喜欢和我做啊Did I do something wrong? You seemed to like what I did?
- 我那个可棒了 - 嗯 我知道- I'm really good at it. - Yes, I know you are. Yeah.
- 我真的很厉害 - 嗯 我知道- I'm really good at it. - Yeah, I know you are.
- 我真的... - 嗯 嗯 你很棒- I'm really... - Yeah, yeah, you're really good at it.
但如果你不想Well, clearly, I'm not?
- 明显是我不行啊 - 老天啊- If you don't want it? - Oh, for God's sake.
你是我见过的 那方面最好的You're the best sex I've ever had.
- 什么 - 你是我见过的 那方面最好的- What? - You're the best sex I've ever had.
说实话 你... 让我高潮了九次Honestly, you... you made me cum nine times.
- 你要我走吗 - 对- Do you want me to go? - Yeah.
- 那我去找别人了 - 好的 好好对她- I could take this somewhere else. - Okay, good. Good for her.
九次 你真是圣人Nine times. You're a saint.
- 很抱歉 - 不 没关系 我不会问的- I'm sorry that was... - No, it's okay. I won't ask.
- 我只是想摆脱他 - 好- I just had to get rid of him. - Sure.
我不能和你有身体接触I can't be physical with you.
什么 连摔跤都不行吗What, we can't even wrestle?
神父都和人上床Well, priests have sex, you know.
很多神父都做过A lot of them actually do.
他们不会被烧成灰 我查过They don't burst into flames, I googled it.
我不能和你滚床单 因为我会爱上你I can't have sex with you, because I'll fall in love with you.
如果我爱上了你 我是不会烧成灰 但...And if I fall in love with you, I won't burst into flames, but...
...我的生活将会一团糟...my life will be fucked.
我们要啪啪啪了We're going to have sex.
我本该只爱一个人I'm supposed to love one thing.
天哪 我们要啪啪啪了Oh, my God, we're gonna have sex.
看在老天的份上 停下For fuck's sake! Stop that!
我觉得你并不希望别人教你怎么做I don't think you want to be told what to do at all.
你知道自己要做什么I think you know exactly what you want to do.
如果你真的想让别人教你If you really wanted to be told what to you do,
你就会穿上这个了you'd be wearing one of these.
女性不被允许...Women aren't actually allowed to...
闭嘴 我知道Oh, fuck off, I know!
我们要做爱了 对吗We're going to have sex, aren't we?
天哪 好吧Oh! Whoa! Okay. Uh...
不用解释No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sh, sh, sh, sh.