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You shut down production?
Just for a couple of days.
What is going on over there?
- It's a minor injury issue. - A stunt went slightly awry.
And one of our stars got a little strangled.
- What? - Just a little strangled.
Like, the minimum amount of strangled.
Everyone's fine now. It's like it didn't even happen.
- Except... - Except what?
Some crew members might have taken some video of the incident
that could leak to the press at any moment.
Okay, I'm pulling the plug.
m 20 0 l 209 0 b b b 11 228 0 218 0 209 l 0 20 b 0 11 11 0 20 0
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It's too dangerous! We gotta cut our losses.
Cut your losses? Philbert is a monster hit!
We put your site on the map, boy-o,
so don't get squeamish now about sunk cost.
Face it. You need us like a fish needs a bicycle
in Portland, Austin, Boulder,
波特兰 奥斯丁 博尔德
or Minneapolis, Saint Paul!
You are out of order.
Fine. Switch Boulder and
Austin and move the Twin Cities to the front.
Now, can you give me a chance to get everything under control?
- Yes! Yes! Yes! - You have one more chance.
Do you promise me you can take care of this?
I'm clearing my docket. This is my only priority.
Good, because my boss has made it very clear
that if we let him down, he will,
quote, "Eat my ass for dinner."
Hey, buddy, well, how ya feeling today?
Weird. Am I supposed to be on set right now?
You just stay right there. I'm coming over.
- Okay. - Do me a favor, though?
-好吧 -帮我个忙 好吗
Maybe don't watch any TV, or go on the Internet, or take any
phone calls from anybody else until I get there, okay?
- Stuart. - What up?
Draft an email to Biscuits Braxby.
I wanna set up an interview for-- Hold on,
I'm getting another call.
You want that part in the email?
Princess Carolyn! It's Sadie.
Remember me? You wanted my baby, and
you came down to Eden, then you thought about your past a lot,
and I decided not to give you my baby?
Of course I remember you, Sadie.
Unfortunately, this isn't a great time.
Anyway, I got to thinking...
I interviewed a lot of people for adoption.
After I said I wasn't gonna give them the baby,
They all went cold or nasty.
Except you. You were still nice.
I think that's a sign.
- How fast can you get to Eden? - Why?
My boyfriend left me, my mama stole my truck,
and I don't want this baby no more.
I'm kind of in the middle of something now.
You're in the middle of something?
I'm about as deep in contractions as an apostrophe!
I know. This is all just coming so fast.
I... Let me call you back.
Okay, but if this baby pops out and you're not here,
I'm putting it in a dumpster.
I'm kidding, I'm giving it to someone else.
I always forget how tiny and Dickensian this place is.
It's really great how you don't need nice things to be happy.
Yes, I agree. What do you want?
对 我同意 你来干什么
For the last couple months, I've had work to distract me,
but now that we're on strangle hiatus,
I can't stop thinking about that "thing"
that happened in the night of the Philbert.
- "Strangle hiatus?" - Diane, stay on topic.
-"勒令停工" -戴安 不要跑题
- You know what "thing" I'm talking about? - Yes.
- The thing between us? - Got it.
I was on top and then briefly on bottom. Human-y style?
我在上面 然后短暂的在下面 人爬式
Pickles has no idea, and I've never felt so guilty in my life.
I hate keeping secrets from people.
It's like Rob Schneider's surprise party all over again.
You cheating on your girlfriend
is not the same as Rob Schneider's surprise party.
You're right, this is much less sad and involves more people.
你说得对 出轨没那么悲哀 人也比较多
Just tell Pickles the truth.
Oh, I'm not good at giving bad news.
- Could you do it? - What? No!
-你说可以吗 -什么 不行
But you're so good at bumming people out.
I'm more of a "good news" guy.
You want your ex-wife to explain the fact
that you cheated with your ex-wife to your current girlfriend?
Well, of course every idea
sounds stupid if you describe what it is.
You're not the only one who feels gross about that night.
Do you have any idea how shitty I felt after you left?
So I made you feel gross, and now...
No, you didn't make me anything! I am gross.
不 不是你让我怎么样 我就是恶心
I feel, all the time, like a garbage fire.
And not a cozy dumpster in a quaint alley,
but a barge, floating out to sea, with no rudder.
I am a rudderless burning large garbage barge.
Well, I'm sorry that you feel that way all the time,
but I don't usually, and now, for the first time ever, I do,
但我通常不这样觉得 而现在 第一次
and I don't know what to do with that feeling!
- Good! You should feel bad! - Well, I do!
-很好 你应该感到内疚 -我确实内疚
- Great! Me, too! -Great!
-非常好 我也是 -非常好
So, what, exactly, do you think happened last night?
I don't know. We shot some stuff?
There was an accident on set and Gina got injured.
- Oh, my God, she did? - She's fine.
-天呐 她受伤了吗 -她没事
- But some footage has gotten out. -Footage?
And because of how it looks,
some people might get the impression
that you were trying to hurt Gina.
- They're gonna get the impression. - Right.
- But I wasn't. - Of course not.
What did happen?
So, the two of you are gonna
do a sit-down interview with Biscuits Braxby.
She makes news fun!
Yes. All you need to say is that you know the footage looks bad,
but you and Gina are actors.
You performed a convincing scene,
and you can't wait for everyone to see the new season.
Well, it seems like you've got everything under control.
I'm sorry things got so messy with the show.
I didn't always look out for you as much as I should have.
I can take care of myself. I know you've got a lot on your plate.
It's just been so crazy, this adoption process,
but I think once I get a baby,
my life will be less hectic, you know?
That is why new mothers
always seem so chilled-out and well-rested.
Why don't you save your funny jokes for the interview?
But please don't make jokes at the interview.
Sorry I broke every piece of furniture you own.
- Will 20 dollars cover it? - Don't worry about it. But, yes.
-20美元够吗 -别担心这个 但够了
- So, what happens now? - I don't know.
- I have to tell Pickles. - Yeah.
- I'll tell her you and I had a talk. - Okay.
- And we're getting back together. - Wait, what?
-然后我们复合了 -等下 什么
- But she's a great girl. - No, no.
-但她是个好女孩 -不 不
But she is a great girl. You just don't know her.
No, Mr. Peanutbutter.
I don't want to get back together with you.
- What? - I think you misunderstood.
Then why do you keep doing this?
Why do you keep doing this?
- Because I love you! - Don't say that.
It's true. I never stopped loving you.
No. We can't do this ever again.
See? I told you you were great at giving bad news.
That is not what I wanted to hear.
BoJack, Biscuits. Biscuits, BoJack.
波杰克 这是饼干 饼干 这是波杰克
This interview's gonna go down smooth, like a 1995 Zinfandel.
You ever try one of those '95 zins? Good year for Zinfandels.
Bad year for Oklahoma federal buildings.
- M'kay. - Here's how it's gonna go down.
Red light on the camera goes bloop!
I go, "Hey!" You go, "Hey!" I go, "Video?"
我说嗨 你说嗨 我说 摄像机
You go, "Nah!" I go, "Really?"
你说 没呢 我说 真的吗
You go, "Well..." And you roll me through the rigamarole.
你说 嗯... 然后向我丢出大段废话
- Oh, don't-- - Don't forget to plug your show.
Then I go, "Wow. This has been so illuminating.
Red light goes boo-de-de-boop,
we'll be out of here before Traffic.
And, yes, I'm talking about the Stephen Soderbergh movie Traffic.
It's playing on FX tonight, and I'm hoping to catch it.
Love me some Cheadle.
Am I crazy or was she kind of hitting on me?
Yeah. You guys have a real flirty energy,
like Matt Lauer and those magazine cut-outs
he now interviews in his kitchen.
- This should be fun. - Now that's the spirit!
You gotta show me this video.
No, I really don't think that's necessary.
I'll look like an idiot if I don't know what I'm talking about.
Just let me see it. How bad could it be?
"Ooh, it's really bad!" But, no, seriously, can I see it?
真的坏透了 但 不 讲真 我能看吗
Hey, wow, look at me go.
Oh, look out, I'm getting really, um...
Well, this looks like...
Because I'm actually...
Diane! What have you been up to? Tell me everything.
戴安 你最近在忙什么 跟我说说
Actually, I've been working on a book of essays--
Okay, I was obviously asking to be polite,
and it's very rude of you to assume that I care.
I have news that's actually interesting.
Girl Croosh is pivoting to video, and I want you to be the face.
- The face? - Of the site.
Every woman under 40 will tune in to hear what you have to say.
And possibly women over 40, but we have no way of knowing
because they're invisible to our site metrics.
I don't understand. My parents never said no to me growing up,
so I'm literally incapable of processing it as a concept.
I'm a hypocrite. I'm miserable and I make other people miserable.
我是个伪君子 我很可悲 还让别人可悲
I don't know what I'm doing.
I can't be a trusted news source,
or an authority, or a role model for anybody.
Uh, no one called you a "Role model." Settle down.
You know what your problem is?
You hold everyone to an impossible standard,
It's super helpful for writing hot-take shakedowns,
and clickbait take-downs,
but totally toxic for your personal life
and internalized sense of self-worth, girl.
But shouldn't we be asking more of ourselves
and of the people in our lives?
Of course. But we all fail, Diane.
当然了 但我们都会失望 戴安
The world is unforgiving enough as it is.
The least we could do is
find ways to forgive each other and ourselves.
Well, then maybe we should be more forgiving in our content,
and maybe not publish so many take-downs?
All right, let's bring in the talent.
Hey, is this a good time to talk?
No, Stuart. This is a very bad time.
不行 斯图尔特 现在不是时候
We're about to shoot the interview.
Oh, sorry, I haven't memorized your schedule.
- You could write it down. - With what, a quill?
-你可以写下来 -用什么 羽毛笔吗
- Okay, Elbridge Gerry. - What?
-好吧 埃尔布里奇·格里 -什么
Anyway, this lady showed up at the office
and she was being super annoying, so I brought her here.
- What lady? - Hey.
Why aren't you answering your phone?
Why aren't you in North Carolina?
We're having a bit of a PR crisis.
As soon as this is settled I will take the first plane there,
but this is just not the best time.
Look, if you can't do this, don't do it.
听着 如果你做不到 就不要领养
My mom worked all the time and she never made time for me.
I felt so alone growing up,
especially because I never knew my dad or my twin brother
because our parents broke up when we were babies,
and wouldn't even talk to each other.
Oh, Tracy, I had no idea.
all I had was this half of a medallion
with part of a family crest on it.
The crest of a family I'll never know.
- Boring. - Ex-squeeze me?
Sorry, but your story sucks.
I mean, who wasn't separated from their family as a baby
and still wears their half of a medallion
in the hopes of one day being reunited with their long-lost twin?
That exact thing happened to me
and you don't see me bitching about it.
- God, get over yourself. - Get over yourself.
-上帝啊 省省吧 -你才省省吧
I didn't realize it was a common thing.
Well, obviously it is, so can you get to your point already?
I was getting to it if you'd quit talking already.
My point is, not every woman is supposed to be a mother.
Maybe you'd be happier
if you freed yourself from that expectation,
and just lived the life you'd clearly rather be living.
Two minutes to air!
No, that's not... I'm not...
I can't even deal with this right now.
- You need to leave. - All right, let's go.
-你该走了 -好了 我们走
She's in one of her moods.
I still think it's pretty nutty
we both have the left half of a medallion.
Like, what are the odds?
Nah, it's a completely different thing with me.
Mine is the right half.
- So... - Oh, okay.
- Hello, BoJack. - Are you okay? You look good.
-波杰克 -你还好吗 你看起来还行
Yeah, makeup covered the bruises.
- Gina, I'm so sorry. - Let's just do the interview, okay?
-吉娜 我很抱歉 -好好做采访吧
- I'm gonna come clean about everything. - What?
Everyone needs to know what I did.
Please get in positions.
No. Don't do that.
Gina, what I did to you--
I saw the video and it looked pretty bad.
I'll say it was pretty bad.
- It was assault. - Yeah.
You physically overpowered me,
and if there were any justice, you would be in jail right now.
after so many failed attempts, is finally starting to take off.
I am getting offers, and fan mail,
and magazine columns about what a good actor I am.
People know me because of my acting.
And all that goes away if I'm just
the girl who got choked by BoJack Horseman.
I can't lie about this.
I don't want you to be the most notable thing
that ever happened to me.
I don't want you to be the question I get asked in interviews
for the rest of my life.
- Gina, I-- - You need to do this for me, okay?
-吉娜 我... -为我这么做 好吗
Because I just want this to be over.
Can we talk about it, maybe after the interview?
No. I will be civil to you on set when we have scenes together,
but otherwise, I never wanna think about you again.
- Hey, guys, how are we doing? - So good, Biscuits.
-伙计们 你们好吗 -很棒 饼干
We're so excited to be here, aren't we, BoJack?
我们很高兴能来这里 对吗 波杰克
I'm here with BoJack Horseman and Gina Cazador,
stars of the hit show Philbert.
Let's cut to the chase. That video.
Oh, my God, it's so embarrassing.
- This is all a misunderstanding. - I mean, it's kind of hilarious.
We've actually been laughing about it here on set!
Really? BoJack looks so angry in the video.
And Gina, you look terrified.
Biscuits, we're actors. It's what we do.
饼干 我们是演员 这是我们的老本行
- Oh, thank God. - Yep, actors.
-谢天谢地 -没错 演员
Okay, I gotta ask. Is the story true? Are you two an item?
Oh, boy. Looks like you got your scoop!
Can you give us a kiss?
- What's it like dating your co-star? - It's so great.
I'll bet sometimes, though, you wanna strangle each other, right?
Okay, you two. This has been illuminating.
- That's a cut! - That was amazing.
You wanted to see me, Mr. Fondle?
I must make love to you.
You mean to my brain, because I have such good ideas.
Thanks for the encouragement. I never got that at my last job.
That's exactly right.
Those guys were nice, but they were total boobs.
Anyway, I'm gonna go review the third quarter budget
with our diagnostics team.
- Insufficient power. - To review the budget?
Are you saying I don't have the authority to do my job?
Now entering sleep mode.
You wanna sleep with me?
That is not a mode I'm comfortable with, Mr. Fondle.
Please connect to power source!
So first, he said I had insufficient power...
Which I have never heard him say to a man.
And then he asked me to "Connect" To his "Power source."
Did you feel physically threatened?
Was there any implication of assault?
Not assault, but he did make a mention of "Low battery".
It is never acceptable to threaten an employee
with battery at any level.
What time is it right now?
For female employees of one popular website,
the answer is Sexual Harassment O'Clock!
What started with the allegations of one junior executive
has quickly snowballed into an avalanche of accusation,
as women at every level have come forward
with their own harrowing stories of what happens
when the big hand meets the little hand.
He said he wanted to "...get all up in my guts with his penis
and ejaculate inside me."
At the time, I just thought it was typical corporate banter,
but now I'm like, uh...
men should not be engaging in predatory behavior at the office,
but I'm worried now the
pendulum's gonna swing too far in the other extreme
where they'll be held accountable
for that behavior, and that's not ideal either.
Uh, Henry Fondle is a sex robot,
and he should not be a CEO of any company.
When you say "Sex robot," You're speaking metaphorically, right?
The board has taken decisive action to remove Henry Fondle
by placing him on an indefinite paid leave.
Meanwhile, we will be scaling back,
canceling our slate of streaming series
and refocusing on our
original mission of being a website you can go to
if you don't know what time it is,
that also doesn't harass anyone.
This is a great day for the women of this company,
many of whom will be laid off.
So, you got a call from your dentist; no cavities.
Emily Van Camp wants to move your four o'clock to five.
And also, Todd wanted me to let you know that the network folded,
everyone got fired... And your show is canceled.
- What? - It's over. It's all over.
-什么 -结束了 都结束了
What are you talking about? It's not over.
We just have to find our baby another home.
Maybe What Time Is It Right Now is gone,
but there are like a billion other websites, right?
What about that website you go to, to pay your parking tickets?
Or if we're really desperate, TNT?
The point is we're just getting started, Princess Carolyn!
I was Princess Carolyn the whole time.
Well, this is it, Henry Fondle. The end of the line.
好了 爱抚亨利 都结束了
I've been following your career pretty closely
and I like what I see.
How'd you like a corner office
Uh, you know this guy
just got fired for sexual harassment, right?
Yeah, so he's learned his lesson
and he's ready to reenter the workforce.
I have many penises.
You said it, buddy. Give us a call.
你说过了 伙计 给我们打电话
Do you wanna take a ride? There's something I wanna show you.
Shouldn't you be out "Not really strangling" Someone?
The last time I saw you,
you said you still believed I could be a better person.
- Do you still believe that? - I do.
I need you to write one of your take-downs.
- About me. - What?
You can't write anything about Gina, but... the other stuff.
Everything. I need to get it out.
No. I'm done writing about you, or for you, or with you.
不 我不要再写你 为你或和你写了
Diane, please, I need this.
戴安 拜托 我需要这样
I'm a bad guy and the world needs to know.
There's no such thing as "Bad guys" Or "Good guys."
We're all just... guys...
who do good stuff sometimes and bad stuff sometimes.
And all we can do is try
to do less bad stuff and more good stuff,
but you're never going to be good. Because you're not bad.
So, you need to stop using that as an excuse.
I am asking to be held accountable.
And I'm telling you it's not gonna happen.
Whatever you put in that story,
no one is gonna "Hold you accountable."
You need to take responsibility for yourself.
I don't know how to do that!
This is it. My special thinking spot.
Let us put on a Lionel Richie album,
and finger each other's holes.
Henry, no. There'll be time for that later.
亨利 不 等一下有的是时间
I love it when you call me Father.
I love you, Fatheeeeeer...
Shh. It's okay. It's over now. It's all over.
没事了 都结束了 都结束了
She's beautiful. What are you gonna call her?
Untitled Princess Carolyn Project.
But not really, though, right?
Hey, do you think my cactus
is gonna be okay if I'm not there for six weeks?
Yeah, I think your cactus is gonna be okay.
- Is this a mistake? - No.
Wow, it feels so weird to be eating here.
So, this is what it's like from the other side.
Pickles, I took you here
because I wanted you to be somewhere you felt comfortable.
Aw, that's so sweet, Mister.
Because I need to talk to you about something.
Oh, no, this is really bad. Why would you do this to me?
不 太糟糕了 你为什么要这么对我
I didn't tell you what it is.
No one ever "Needs to talk" About something good!
No one ever says, "I need to talk to you: Happy Birthday"
没人会说 "我需要和你说 生日快乐"
or, "I need to talk to you:
Felicity Jones hired a new stylist
and her red carpet looks this season are to die for!"
Well, good news first: Felicity Jones did hire a new stylist,
首先 好消息 费莉希蒂的确雇了新造型师
but sadly, her fashion choices just aren't popping.
Oh, no! This is bad news! Well, thank you for telling me.
不 真的是坏消息 谢谢你告诉我
That isn't the thing I was going to tell you.
There's more bad news?
Is it worse or not as bad as the Felicity Jones thing?
Well, it's different...
Whatever it is, we're going to get through it together.
Whatever it is, I love you, and nothing's going to change that.
不管怎样 我爱你 什么都不会改变这一点
Nothing you say is going
to make me stop loving you, no matter what.
Will you marry me?
What do I say... when I go in?
You say, "Hello. I am BoJack. Horseman, obviously.
你说"你好 我是波杰克 那个马男
You've probably heard of me. I'm very famous.
So... Sober me up, please!"
What if I get sober...
and I'm still the same awful person I've always been,
only more... sober?
I think that is a very real possibility.
- Don't be shitty. - I'm not.
Rehab is not a cure-all
that's gonna suddenly make you not an asshole.
Then why are we doing this? Let's turn around and go home.
- You wanna go home? - Is that okay?
Look, you have two options.
You can go back home and try to do things your way,
like you've been doing all your life,
or you can see what these guys have to offer.
I don't understand why you're being so nice to me.
After everything you know about me,
all the shit I put you through.
When I was in high school, I had this friend. Abby.
我读高中的时候 有个朋友 艾比
She was my only friend and we did everything together,
until she got adopted by the cool kids
and then she turned on me...
She used every secret she knew about me, every vulnerability.
She made me miserable my entire sophomore year.
But then that summer when her mom got sick, like really sick,
and all her cool friends
were off vacationing in Martha's Vineyard,
- I was there for her. - Why?
Because I'm an idiot. And it was Abby.
And I hated her, and I will never forgive her,
but she needed me and... she was my best friend and I loved her.
但她需要我 她曾是我最好的朋友 我爱她
And now... you're here, and I hate you,
but you're my best friend, and you need me.
You know what you're gonna say? You wanna practice?
I'm gonna say, "Hello. I am BoJack Horseman.
Obviously, you know who I am,
because I'm very famous, and also we called ahead.
And I am here because... I need help."