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I don't know what's real anymore.
And I don't know if I care.
- Talk to me, Philbert. - Don't tell her a thing.
-告诉我 菲尔伯特 -什么也别告诉她
What did you do to your wife?
She was gonna get us all killed.
So you took care of it, huh?
I tried to stop him!
- Who? - Fritz! He was hopped up on goof-berries.
-阻止谁 -弗里茨 他呆莓吃多了
I think I shot him.
What are you doing, Philbert?
m 20 0 l 209 0 b b b 11 228 0 218 0 209 l 0 20 b 0 11 11 0 20 0
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You shot your partner?
Cut! We're turning around for BoJack.
All right! That was acting.
Hey, so, this has been real, but since it's our last day,
听着 我们处的很愉快 但既然要杀青了
it feels like maybe we should call it on the whole us
sleeping together thing.
I don't usually keep dating co-stars once we've wrapped.
Would you say we're co-stars?
I mean, I'm Philbert. I'd say we're more like both in the cast?
Yeah, let's definitely pump the brakes on this.
And we're set. Action!
I had no choice. He was strangling my wife!
What did you do with the bodies?
I-- It's all a blur. It feels like a dream.
我 一切都很模糊 感觉像梦一样
- Where are the bodies, Philbert? - I buried them.
-尸体在哪 菲尔伯特 -我把他们埋了
In the same place I'm gonna bury you.
Kiss me, you smart, handsome renegade.
There's no time for that now. The nuclear missiles are coming.
Cut! That's a wrap on Philbert Season One!
Great work, everyone!
I want you all to know I'm proud of what I've done here.
See ya at the Peabody Awards!
Great working with you. Thank you.
Terrific job. Seriously...
What the hell are goof-berries?
- I love the sign. -You better.
I basically had to go through a whole pen on that thing.
Hey, I'd help you with your bag,
- but you know, my back. - Yeah.
-但是你知道的 我的腰 -好吧
It's cool that you came through Los Angeles on your way home.
Yeah, I guess we got lucky.
The only flight from Connecticut to Kansas
had a one-night layover in California.
- Really? - No, dummy. I wanted to see you.
-真的吗 -当然不 傻瓜 我想见你
Emily is here to see you.
- Blunt? - Well, she is a little curt.
That's my Emily! Send her in!
- Hey, Todd. - You okay?
- I broke up with my fireman. - Not Steve!
No, no, no, not Steve. It was Doug.
不不不 不是史蒂夫 是道格
Not Doug! Forgot there was a new one!
I am so done with these sexy noble hero hunks.
but the emotional connection just is not there.
It was the same with me and Yolanda.
No emotional connection, but the no-sex was amazing.
None of the best sex I ever had.
You know, I was actually thinking about that.
Remember that idea you had about the dating app for asexuals?
"All About That Ace"?
You should get yourself out there.
You were the best boyfriend I ever had.
If only there was a version of you
I could have sex with, I'd be all set.
Whoa, Emily. I just got a crazy idea.
A restaurant where the menus are printed on garlic bread,
so after you order, the first course is the menu!
So, ever since Philbert wrapped earlier today,
the question on everybody's mind is,
"What's Mr. Peanutbutter going to do next?"
You're a serious actor now,
so I guess, narrate a documentary about global warming,
and then take a private jet to the premiere?
I've been looking for new projects.
Seems like everything's based on books these days,
so I went to the book store to scout some material.
But all the books are so long now.
I'll just wait 'til the movie comes out, then see the movie,
and decide if the book
the movie is based on would make a good movie.
Oh, that's a good strategy.
Anyway, I was heading to the door
in book-length-related frustration...
...when I saw one of those circular greeting card racks.
Spotted a card that looked interesting,
and it's a super-quick read.
- "Happy Birthday, Dad." - Pretty cool dad, huh?
-"生日快乐 爸爸" -多好的爸爸
You want to option this greeting card for a movie?
- We'll call it Birthday Dad. - But what is it?
it's... "Birthday Dad."
You think we can get the film rights?
I'll look into it.
So, then Joby was like,
"Uh, nice scrunchie, Professor."
It was literally a thing.
Joby is the guy in your dorm who plays guitar?
Yeah, he's really funny, but like soulful funny, you know?
对 他超搞笑的 有灵魂的搞笑
You know, I always thought I would make a good college person.
Roaming the campus,
sticking it to the crusty old dean with my rowdy 'tude,
having friends, and learning things, and just, uh, being young.
交朋友 学东西 还有就是 保持年轻
You look as if you saw Ghost in the Shell
and you're Scarlett Johansson's publicist.
It's weird to be back in this house.
This is where it all happened with your mom.
Oh, my God, this is so weird.
Hollyhock, whoa. It's okay. That's ancient history.
霍莉霍克 别慌 这都是过去了
so nobody is going to drug you with secret pills. All right?
Now, how about we make new, fun, memories
to cancel out the old ones?
- Can the new memories be pizza-related? - No doy!
Ah, thank you for meeting me on such short notice.
It's nice to see you.
I'm sure Fridays must be a big night for you.
You were probably planning on going out to a nice dinner
with your new girlfriend?
Or seeing a movie with your new girlfriend?
Or staying in and watching cable--
I get what you're asking. The answer is, no,
我知道你想问什么了 答案是 没有
I don't have cable anymore.
Or a new girlfriend.
I'm not seeing anyone either.
I've just been so busy with my Philbert.
Philbert? You have a Philbert?
Oh, I'm sorry. It's a show I'm producing.
Not the baby we really wanted but never had.
Oh, well, that's great, too.
Anyway, Mr. Peanutbutter wants to option this card as a movie.
- Birthday Dad. - How is it a movie?
- It's "Birthday Dad." - Oh. Okay.
- I'm sorry. - Yeah. Sure.
-抱歉 -没事 接吧
Can you get to the St. Bernard Medical Center
in like, a half hour?
Uh, I think so. Why?
I just got my tonsils taken out,
- and I need a ride home. - What?
Nah, I'm just messing with you.
A pregnant lady doesn't want the baby.
If you can get there tonight, the baby's yours.
Tonight? That's so-- she doesn't even know me.
今晚 这也太 她都不认识我
Hey, man. You don't say no to free baby.
I have to drive my hospital to the car right now!
I'm a baby, and there's adopting on the way!
- You're adopting? - Vroom-vroom!
There's so much food in my lap! Doesn't matter! It's fine!
我腿上有好多吃的 不重要 没关系
- All part of being a mother! -You are really freaking out.
Am I freaking out too much? Or not enough?
- Let me drive you. - But I have the car seat in my car.
They won't let you go home without one.
It's the only rule, really.
There should be more rules, but who am I to judge?
I'll get the car seat. Let's go.
I need ice cream to smooth the rest of it down.
Oh, I don't keep junk food in the house,
ever since last night when I ate all of my ice cream.
Hey, why do you have a vodka bottle for every day of the week?
Oh, that's just my new system I'm trying.
I'm down to one bottle a day.
- Is this like an AA thing? - No, I don't need AA.
-是匿名戒酒吗 -不 我不需要匿名戒酒
- Would you get outta there? - I want ice cream.
- Give me your keys. - What? No.
-给我你的钥匙 -什么 不
Come on. Let me drive the Tesla.
With your greasy pizza fingers?
- Forget it. - Come on!
What the hell are these?
Why was this in your pocket? Are these for me?
No, Hollyhock. God, no.
不 霍莉霍克 天 不要
Oh God, did you put this in my pizza?
What? Of course not. Hollyhock. No. Give me the-- no!
什么 当然没 霍莉霍克 给我 不
Hollyhock, those were for my back!
- Wait, for real? - Yes.
-等下 真的 -是的
Oh, then actually, oops.
- Hey, Todd. Is everything okay? -I need to talk to someone,
-陶德 都还好吗 -我要找个人聊聊
and you're the only person I knew would be available
on a Friday night, with nothing to do.
Hey, I almost went to the movies tonight!
It's not my fault there's never anything in the 8:00 hour.
9:15 is too late. 7:00 is too early.
Where am I supposed to eat dinner?
Uh, sneak in a bag of mashed potatoes like the rest of us?
- Is this your whole apartment? - It's a studio.
I ate lunch with a studio head just yesterday.
- This is not a studio. - What do you need, Todd?
-工作室才不长这样 -你想干什么 陶德
Well, my friend, Emily, did something really nice for me,
and I wanna pay her back.
Thought you could help me brainstorm.
Okay. What kind of things does she like?
Well, sex, for one.
Good for her! A woman needs to know her own body
before she expects someone else to know her body.
- What? What are we talking about? - What?
-什么 我们在聊什么 -什么
I think sex, for one?
Diane, you sad-homed genius.
- You've cracked it! - What?
To the junkyard behind the engineering school!
Always happy to contribute!
- Oh, my God, I'm sorry. I freaked out. -It's not your fault.
-天 抱歉 我吓坏了 -这不怪你
Your generation's been brainwashed by McGruff the Crime Dog.
Who, by the way, I met at a party once?
Didn't ask me a single question about me.
Yeah, and also because of the time I overdosed on pills.
Right, well, these were good pills.
I told you I'm on a system now.
I'm not "Doing drugs." This was medicine.
Oh, sure. I'll just call the pharmacy and say,
"Hey, girl, you know that highly-addictive opioid
I'm supposed to take every three hours?
Well, I kind of misplaced them,
so could I just get some more? I'm totally not a drug addict."
- I'm really sorry. - No. It's fine.
-真的很抱歉 -不 没关系
Let's enjoy our time together,
even though I'm in tremendous pain.
I'll try to forget it,
but the whole time we might be thinking about it.
I do not blame you, but if you blame yourself,
that is okay with me.
You must know a place you can get more painkillers.
I do know a guy,
but he's somewhat "South of Pico,"
if you know what I mean.
I don't. Why do Los Angeles people think
everyone else understands your local references?
Okay, okay, let's go.
好吧 好吧 我们走
I can't believe you're adopting.
I just realized it was the right thing for me.
I just remember you were so adamant
about having the baby yourself,
even when I said we should talk about other options.
- Yeah, but the way you said it-- - I'm not mad.
-是 但你说话的方式 -我不是生气
I just think it's funny you had that change of heart
after we broke up.
I'm sorry. This is not about me.
You'll be a great mom, and I'm really happy for you.
- Yeah? - Of course.
Well, one day, you're gonna be a great dad.
Hopefully as cool as Birthday Dad!
- Why are we at the pediatrician? - Trust me.
This doctor is the sleaziest, dopiest, scurviest of the scurvy.
这医生是最下三滥 最愚蠢 最卑鄙的人渣
- Who is he? - Exactly.
Hu... wants to par-tay?
Dr. Hu! Thank you for squeezing us in!
You always gotta make time for your friends.
And I haven't seen you since Sarah Lynn's funeral.
That was a huge wake-up call for me.
Next morning I looked in the mirror,
and you know who I saw staring back at me?
- What? - No. Hu.
-什么 -不 是胡
I spent 30 days at Pastiches Malibu and now I'm sober.
It's like I completely regenerated as a brand-new doctor.
You'd have to be a real lost cause not to seek help
after losing Sarah Lynn like that, don't you think?
Oh, deffo. I mean, you know, get help
or, you know, work out a system on your own.
Even, you know, whatever's right for you.
Anyway, I'm trying to get my hands on some Feelbetterin?
BoJack, have you been taking oxypraxylcortizoid?
Yeah. I know what you're thinking,
but I legitimately have a herniated disc.
He's telling the truth!
I threw out his pills because of my trauma
from when I got drugged by his mama.
- You got drugged by your own mother? - No, my mother.
-你亲妈给你下药 -不 是我妈
Her mother was a maid who got knocked up by my dad,
but she got adopted by eight other dads.
Okay, do you know how many times I hear this story every week?
This story, specifically? Even the "Eight dads" part?
I don't know who you think you're fooling,
but this Hu won't get fooled again.
Thank you for coming, Emily.
What's with all the candles? Why are you wearing a robe?
Oh, I blew a fuse earlier, so I had to light candles.
That took a while, and then I didn't get to change.
Hold that thought.
- The thought of "Oh"? - That's right.
Because you're gonna need it
when you meet your new best friend...
- What? What? - He's a sex robot!
-什么 什么 -他是个性爱机器人
So, you can stop dating all those boring guys
and still have sex!
Stop me if you've heard this one. What?
I even recorded dozens of sexy robot phrases
for it to say at random intervals!
I am Henry Fondle. Insert me into genitals!
Why did you do this?
To show you that I care about your needs.
My prime directive is to pleasure you.
Todd, I'm not sure you understand how sex works.
That is so condescending.
I know what sex is. I am not a child.
I'm just not great at building robots.
This is my first one, and frankly,
I think it's pretty impressive
I put it together in one afternoon.
I love it when you call me "father."
Oh, no! My wacky scheme backfired as always!
- I'm really sorry. - It's fine.
We're spending time together, that's all that matters.
You're not super-mad at me, still?
When this is done, maybe it'll make a great story
you can tell that kid you have a crush on.
Who, Joby? I don't have a crush on him.
谁 乔比吗 我没有暗恋他
Get out of here. His jawline is, like, dumb.
拉倒吧 他下巴的轮廓很 傻
- Oh, okay. - Where are we going now?
There's this actress I was kind of seeing
while we were working together
and I might have left some pills at her place.
She made it clear she doesn't want to see me again
but she's not home now.
- Why do I know Gina's schedule? - Where is she?
She has a book club with dumb Nicole
who keeps picking very long Italian books
that Nicole doesn't even read.
Why do I know about Gina's friends?
- Do you have a key? - I have my ways.
- Well, I'm out of ways. - I'll go around back
and see if there's a window I can climb through.
Ooh, good thinking! I'll stand guard.
Oh, my God! What happened to book club?
We switched it to Thursdays to confuse Nicole.
- Why are you here? - I just wanted to check on you.
Wait, Gina. No, stay outside.
等等 吉娜 留在外面
I just-- I need to talk to you.
Is this about our relationship? What is there to talk about?
Well, I just been thinking that...
we should keep looking at this relationship.
Like all parts of this relationship.
Like even in the junk drawer,
in the kitchen of this relationship.
Or the bathroom cabinet.
I told you I didn't want to see you.
I want you to know that you are top-shelf, Gina.
Know what I mean? Top shelf.
So, what, you wanna get back together?
- Okay, I gotta run. - BoJack.
-好了 我得走了 -波杰克
I have had 28 on-set flings, and no guy has ever come to my house
after shooting was over to try to have a real relationship.
I guess I sort of internalized the idea
I didn't deserve that, you know?
Yeah, but like I said, I really gotta run.
懂 但我说了 我真得走了
But maybe I do deserve it. Maybe we both do.
BoJack, is it possible
that we're the ones we've been waiting for?
Uh, yes. I totally think that is possible,
which is why I can't wait to talk about this tomorrow!
- What? Where are you going? - I'll call you!
-什么 你要去哪儿 -回头打给你
You think I need to call her,
or did I leave things open enough
- where I can just kinda ghost? - What?
Kidding! I'll call her.
I'm very fond of that woman.
And I'm sure that things are gonna work out fine,
and we can find a way to be happy together
and I won't hurt her in a way
that she carries with her for the rest of her life.
- Uh, okay. - Lemme get them pills.
- What the hell? These aren't my pills! - Sorry!
-这是什么鬼 这不是我的药 -抱歉
Not your fault. It's just... my back.
- I got another idea. - Okay.
Do you think Gina needed those?
She'll be fine. Nobody needs pills.
You could've just dropped me off.
- Hope that's okay. - It's actually nice you're here.
All the times I imagined us
taking home a baby from the hospital,
I never pictured it like this.
You mean, you never pictured it would happen on a Friday?
Yeah, exactly. That's the main difference.
是啊 确实 这才是主要区别
How come you never called me
after I kicked you out of my apartment?
You were so mad at me. I didn't think you wanted me to.
I didn't. But you still should have called.
- Well, you could have called me. - Yeah.
I wish you'd stayed with me that night.
You told me to leave.
Yeah. I guess the lesson is, don't listen to me, right?
Is that really what you're gonna wear
for the first time your new baby sees you?
- Yes? - Oof! Okay.
I'm supposed to be back at the airport in, like, two hours.
Is this really how you want to spend this time?
Again, and... I hate to keep harping on this,
we wouldn't be here if someone hadn't dumped my medicine.
I know, but this place is super sketchy.
It looks like where they did the drag race in Grease.
Yeah. It is where they did the drag race in Grease.
Where do you think they make movies?
- You a cop? - What? No. Oh, shit.
-你是警察吗 -什么 不是 该死
No, it's a costume. I just finished filming a show.
不 这是戏服 我刚结束电视剧的拍摄
Normally, people return the costume.
Hello, drug merchant. Is it lit under here?
Are there illegal pharmaceuticals available for purchase?
And please, talk into my lollipop.
- Okay, this guy's a cop. - I assure you I am not.
-好吧 这人是警察 -我向你保证我不是
He's just saying that because earlier I said he was a cop.
No. You can see the outline of his badge under his tee-shirt!
- Yeah, no, he's definitely a cop. - Seems cool to me.
-是的 他肯定是警察 -我觉得没事
Listen. If I were a cop,
I'd have pancake breath
from the precinct's weekly Friday night pancake dinners.
But I do not. So clearly, not a cop.
Unless, I somehow had an Altoid, or a Tic-Tac after,
which again, no. I am a gum guy.
That all tracks for me. Here are your drugs.
We got the package!
They're getting away!
- Oh, no! - Here, get up.
-不 -过来 上去
Come on! We have to keep moving!
- Thanks, Doug. - I'm not here for you.
-谢了 道格 -我不是为你来的
I'm here because I respect the art of putting out fires.
- I'm really sorry, Emily. - It was a sweet idea.
-真是对不起 艾米莉 -这主意很棒
I guess I just thought you waste so much time
with these boring firemen just for the sex.
Doug, some privacy, please?
Maybe I figured if you had some other way
to satisfy yourself sexually,
then you could spend more time with me.
Like we did in high school.
Todd, we were dating in high school.
Do you ever think about what it would be like if we dated now?
I don't know. What would it be like?
I guess we'd hang out together, like we already do.
And you would be my favorite person, like you already are.
And when something good happened to me,
like if I got a promotion at work,
you'd be the first person I'd tell,
and you'd smile and say, "That's my boyfriend."
Well, that could be cool.
But then I would have sex with the robot?
- Hooray. - I guess it's not ideal.
You know, when I was putting the app together,
I learned that some asexuals actually do have sex.
Do you... think that there's a chance?
Okay. Well, you got any other ideas?
What about if marbles were cube-shaped,
so they don't roll away as much?
Do you think I'm terrible for giving him away?
What? Of course not.
I don't know the first thing about being a parent.
Bridget, it's okay.
Your baby's in excellent hands.
I'm just so glad he's going to a good home,
- with a mother and a father. - What's this, now?
I mean, if my boyfriend was still in the picture,
maybe I could be a parent,
but as is, I think the baby's probably better off with you two.
- Oh, no, Ralph's not-- - That's right!
-不 拉尔夫不是... -没错
We're gonna make a wonderful family together.
- Ralph, don't lie to her. - I'm not lying.
-拉尔夫 别骗她 -我没有撒谎
A year ago, we wanted to have a family together.
I still want that.
Ralph, no. You should go.
拉尔夫 不 你该走了
I hear you say that,
but I'm not making the mistake I made last time.
This seems like a subject you should have agreed on
before you came to the hospital.
We can do this. Nothing has changed.
I changed! I have plans now, and you're not in them.
我变了 我有我的计划 里面没有你
You don't need to do this by yourself.
I never needed to. I want to.
I'm not afraid of how hard it's gonna be.
I already love this baby. And that gives me so much power.
I don't need anything else.
Oh, my God, I just realized something.
If you can do it by yourself,
maybe that means I can do it by myself.
No, no, Bridget, you definitely can't.
不 布里吉特 你绝对不行
I thought I couldn't. But that speech you gave was so inspiring.
It made me realize that all I need to be a good mother is love.
Actually, you need so much more than that.
I was wrong when I said that a second ago.
Okay. But for real, give me my baby boy.
好吧 但是说真的 把我的宝宝给我
Princess Carolyn, you are amazing.
Can you be my mom?
There's gotta be another way to get pills.
How about calling this Joby? He sounds like a druggie.
- I thought your back hurts. - Yeah.
How did you lift me over the fence?
Well, the adrenaline kicked in.
- Do you really need these pills? - Hollyhock, how many times--
-你真的需要这些药吗 -天啊 你几次...
I'm just saying, is it possible maybe you don't--
Okay. You go to college and suddenly you're so sophisticated,
- and I'm a dumb junkie, is that it? - What? No!
-而我就是愚蠢的瘾君子 -什么 不
You don't understand anything!
- I am in pain. - No, I get that.
-我很痛苦 -不 我明白
All the time. My whole life. And you have no idea.
一直以来 我这辈子 你都不懂
So, sorry that you had one bad experience with my mom,
but I have been in pain my whole life.
I think you should take me to the airport.
- You're sure I can't drive you home? - No, Ralph.
-确定不用我送你回家吗 -嗯 拉尔夫
Can I at least wait with you for the cab?
So, I guess I'll see you later.
- Hollyhock, I'm sorry. - Me, too.
-霍莉霍克 我很抱歉 -我也是
Maybe, it's possible that I don't...
100-percent need-need the pills.
I thought I did, but-- yeah.
So, thank you for... caring about me.
- Are you gonna be okay? - Yeah.
I could take a semester off, if you need someone--
No. God, no. Stay... stay in school.
不 上帝啊 待在学校
And take your classes, and kiss boys, and do the college thing.
好好上课 亲亲凯子 上大学
I'm gonna be fine. I get it. Drugs are bad.
我没事的 我知道 药不好
Obviously, if you get hurt again, and a doctor, a real doctor
prescribes you painkillers, you can take them.
- But only if you get hurt again. - Okay.
- You promise? - Yes. I promise.