摩登家庭 第五季 Modern Family Season 5 第22集: Message Received

上映日期: 2,013

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 詹姆斯·R·巴格多纳斯

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·安德森-埃蒙斯


台词
Oh, New Yorker, you've done it again.
《纽约客》 你又来了
Jay, check out this cartoon.
杰 快来看这个漫画
Does it have a talking dog?
有会说话的狗吗
- No, it's a commentary on... - I'm out.
-没 是在评价... -我不看了
Here you go,
给你
one of my best efforts.
我最用心做的一个
Have at it.
吃吧
Mm, I can't eat that.
我不能吃
- Why not? - The pickle's touching it.
-为什么不能吃 -碰到酸黄瓜了
There.
好了
The juice got on the bread and, ew, what's that stuff?
面包还是沾到汁了 好恶 那是什么
Spices.
香料
They look like sea monkeys.
跟海猴子似的
Have you ever really examine a jar of pickles, Jay?
你真的认真观察过酸黄瓜吗 杰
It's like a swamp there. I'll pass.
黏糊糊的一团 我不吃了
What happened?
出什么事了
I made him a beautiful sandwich and he won't eat it.
我给他做了个美味的三明治 他却不吃
Yeah, 'cause it had pickles on it.
对啊 因为上面有腌黄瓜
Joe is taking a nap.
乔在睡午觉
I'm gonna go to the dry cleaners.
我要去干洗店
Well, if you're passing a sushi restaurant --
如果你路过寿司店
She's not.
她不会路过的
I've never heard of anyone not liking pickles.
我从没听过谁不爱酸黄瓜的
Aw, big day for you, then.
那今天就是历史性的一天啦
I'm just gonna make myself a grilled cheese.
我自己做个烤奶酪三明治好了
I think I saw some Gruye in there.
我应该是看到有格鲁耶尔奶酪了
Do we have any fig?
我们有无花果吗
Sit down.
坐下
This whole persnickety thing is not gonna fly in the world.
你这种挑剔的毛病出去可不行
Never hand people another reason to make fun of you.
别再给别人取笑你的理由了
You mean like all the cool kids
你是指那些穿着皮夹克
with their leather jackets and their pickles?
爱吃酸黄瓜的酷小孩吗
Well, you're gonna sit there
你至少尝一口酸黄瓜
until you at least try a pickle.
否则坐在这儿不许走
You're drunk with power.
你被权力冲昏头脑了
You got that right.
你说对了
家 庭
摩 登
第五季 第二十二集
- Oh, no. - What?
-不是吧 -怎么了
The Tonys are coming.
托尼要来了
Cam, this is exactly why I don't want you watching them --
小卡 所以我才不希望你看那些
You're already so angry.
你已经这么生气了
Not that Tonys --
不是托尼奖
Anthony Lamarque, botox Tony.
是安东尼·拉马克 肉毒杆菌托尼
They're coming to the wedding.
他们要来参加婚礼
But, seriously, another revival of "Anything Goes"?
但说真的 又要上演《万事成空》吗
Are we really doing this again?
我们真的又要这样吗
I'm surprised that they're coming,
他们要来我很惊讶
because when I mentioned the wedding to Tony,
因为我跟托尼提到婚礼时
he seemed completely disinterested --
他表现出毫不在意的样子
Oh, the botox.
是因为打了肉毒杆菌啊
Oh, no.
Your cousin Pete, all of his kids.
还有你的表兄皮特 他的孩子们都要来
Everyone's accepting, Mitchell!
大家都接受了邀请 米奇尔
We haven't even gotten the list from my dad yet.
我爸的嘉宾名单还没给我呢
And your dad's friends drink like soldiers.
你爸的朋友们喝起酒来像当兵的
Because they were soldiers.
因为他们确实当过兵
I mean, I am grateful for their service,
我很感激他们为国奉献
but we are not gonna be able to afford this wedding.
但这样一来婚礼费用我们可承担不起了
Okay, maybe we need to pull back on a few things.
看来我们得取消一些东西
Like what?
比如什么
Uh, the centerpieces?
餐桌中心摆设
Why even have a wedding?
那你何必办婚礼呢
I don't know, Cam.
我不知道 小卡
Because we love and respect each other
因为我们彼此相爱 彼此尊重
and we're raising a child together?
还共同抚养一个孩子吗
Do you want to help or not?
你还要不要帮我了
Maybe we could send un-vitations.
也许我们可以发一些"不邀请信"
Is that a thing?
有这东西吗
We've already made a lot of people angry
因为我们现在可以结婚
by just being able to get married.
已经惹怒很多人了
Let's not alienate the ones on our side.
就别把支持我们的人也疏远了
All right. Maybe we could sell something.
好吧 也许我们可以卖掉些东西
We're thousands over budget.
已经超预算几千美元了
It would have to be something great.
得卖个大件的才行
Here, you can sell my diamond ring.
给你 你可以把我的钻戒卖了
Oh, honey, that's candy.
亲爱的 那是糖果啦
I'm gonna kill that Jackson!
我要杀了那个杰克逊
I do have something of value --
我确实有些贵玩意儿
A "Spider-man versus doctor octopus" comic book.
一本《蜘蛛侠大战章鱼博士》漫画书
Issue number 3, 1963, near-mint condition.
1963年第3期 几乎全新
It's worth 5 grand.
值五千美元
I traded a football for it when I was 9 years old,
我9岁那年用一个橄榄球换的
and my dad was mad
我爸气疯了
because the football was signed by Dan Marino.
因为那上面有丹·马里诺的签名
I said, "Get it signed by Rita Moreno, and I'll keep it."
我说 找丽塔·莫雷诺签名我就留着
Oh, no.
不是吧
My nephews are flying in from Tulsa
我侄子们要从塔尔萨飞过来
-- the big ones.
胖胖的那几个
The pie eaters?
特别能吃派的那些吗
That's it. I got to sell my Wyatt Earp.
没错 我得卖掉我的怀亚特·厄普了
This here is a belt buckle once worn
这是怀亚特·厄普[西部警长]
by the great Wyatt Earp.
曾用过的皮带扣
My grandpa gave it to me when I was 7 years old,
我爷爷在我7岁那年给我的
and he said,"Son, this will keep the bad guys away."
他说 孩子 这会保护你远离坏人
In my early 20s, I wore it to
我20出头时 曾戴着它去参加
a Cowboys-and-Indians disco party.
牛仔和印第安人主题迪斯科派对
And let's just say it didn't.
但是没有起作用哦
No. I can't let you do that.
不行 我不会让你这样做的
That means the world to you.
它对你意味着一切
Cam, I will sell my "Spider-man."
小卡 我会卖了我的《蜘蛛侠》
Mitchell, my belt buckle was owned
米奇尔 我的皮带扣曾是
by a legend of the old west.
老西部传奇人物的东西
I don't think your comic book
我觉得你的漫画书卖的钱
would even cover our balloon budget.
可能连买气球的钱都不够
Well, that's very offens--
这话就太刺...
Wait. What's the balloon budget?
等等 买气球要花多少钱
Hey, mom, can we put this stuff somewhere else?
妈 能把这东西放到别的地方去吗
It's cluttering up my room.
它让我的房间显得好乱
What is it?
这是什么
Oh, just some mementos of mine.
我的一些纪念品
A few of your dad's.
还有你爸爸的
- Oh, Zima! - Yeah.
-齐马 -是啊
What's Zima?
齐马是什么
Just a party in a bottle.
酒瓶子里的派对
Man, that reminds me of some wild times.
那让我想起了狂野的时刻
Cranking the Bjork in my Saturn
在我的土星车里放着比约克的歌
before me and my buddies snuck some "Z"
然后一起在影院看《西雅图夜未眠》时
into "Sleepless in Seattle."
呼呼大睡
I wish you'd covered my ears for that.
真希望你也捂住了我的耳朵
Ooh, mom. Who's this hottie with his arm around you?
妈妈 抱着你的这个帅哥是谁啊
Cute!
帅爆了
Oh, that's Bobby Nash, my old boyfriend.
那是鲍比·纳什 我的前男友
Why'd you break up with him? For dad?
你为什么和他分手 为了爸爸吗
Let's just say he took his eye
这样说吧 他没盯住球
off the ball and struck out.
结果被三振出局了
So I stepped up to the plate
于是我站到了垒板上
and nailed her in the cheap seats.
在票价低廉的座位上搞定了她
Yeah, let's not say that.
别那样说
Well, I'm off.
我要走了
Oh, honey, I've got to stop by the drug store.
亲爱的 我得去药店
Do you need anything?
你需要什么吗
No, thank you, my dear.
不用 亲爱的
The Dunphy glands produce all the drugs I need.
邓菲腺体能分泌我需要的所有药物
Except for, uh, foot spray.
除了足部喷雾
Could you grab me some of that?
你能买一些来吗
Sure.
当然可以
Oh, wow, mom!
妈妈
What a dork, right?
真是呆 对吧
What were you thinking?
你当时想些什么呢
It was comfortable. My dad didn't approve.
但是很舒适 我爸爸不同意
Enough said.
无须多言
I know it's hard to believe,
我知道这难以置信
but I was actually a bit of a nerd back in the day.
但我过去其实有点呆
And it was suggested that I was out of my league
我追克莱尔时 别人说我是癞蛤蟆
when I landed Claire.
想吃天鹅肉
By Jay, mostly.
大部分是杰说的
And my friends. A-and my parents.
还有我的朋友们 还有我父母
And Claire.
还有克莱尔
What's this?
这是什么
Oh, my gosh.
天啊
That is your father's answering machine from college.
那是你爸爸大学里的答录机
God, I sometimes forget how old you guys are.
天啊 我有时忘了你们有多老
You've reached Phil's world!
你来到了菲尔的世界
Party time! Excellent!
该狂欢了 太棒了
He's so cute.
他真可爱
Hi, Phil. This is Mitchell,
菲尔 我是米奇尔
uh, Pritchett, Claire's brother.
普里契特 克莱尔的弟弟
I just wanted to thank you for setting me up with your cousin.
我就是想感谢你安排我和你表妹见面
She was very nice.
她人真好
The only problem is she lives kinda far, so...
唯一的问题是 她住得有点远 所以
That's the only problem?
那是唯一的问题吗
Hey, Dunph-dog, it's Ling.
邓菲狗 我是林
Grab your rollerblades
带上你的旱冰鞋
and meet us at the bike path, playa!
在自行车道和我们见面吧 嗨起来
But I got to be done by 3:00,
但我三点就得走了
'cause today's the day I fly my new helicopter.
因为今天我要试飞新直升飞机
Phil, hey, it's Claire. Um...
菲尔 我是克莱尔
I need to tell you something,
我得告诉你一件事
and I don't want to do it on your machine.
我不想在电话里说
It's really important --
这事很重要
- Oh, no, no, no. - You know, life-and-death important.
-不不不 -生死攸关
Come on. Come on.
给我 给我
Not death, um, just life.
跟死无关 只是生[生命]
I mean... I just -- oh, hell, I'm pregnant!
我是说... 我只是... 该死 我怀孕了
Oh, sweet newlyweds!
甜蜜的新婚夫妇啊
Don't worry. You don't have to marry me or anything.
别担心 你没必要娶我什么的
Let's talk as soon as you can.
我们尽快聊聊吧
Why weren't we more careful?
我们为什么不多加小心呢
Stupid Duran Duran concert.
愚蠢的杜兰杜兰音乐会
All right!
好了
That's enough.
够了
I was conceived at a Duran Duran concert?
我是在杜兰杜兰音乐会上被怀上的吗
Classy start to a classy life.
优雅人生的优雅开始啊
You were not conceived at the concert.
你不是我在音乐会上怀上的
It was after the concert.
而是在音乐会后
Oh, wha-- in the car?!
什么 在车里吗
It was a very nice car.
那是一辆好车
Listen, I am done. Stop snooping. I'm going.
我受够了 别再问了 我要走了
The seats folded all the way back.
车座靠背可以完全放平
Oh, images.
恶心的画面
I can't believe they kept it.
他们居然把"它"留下了
I have a name.
我是有名字的
The answering machine.
我是指答录机
You know, we could have some fun with this.
我们可以拿它找点乐子
I'm home!
我回来了
Hi, mom.
妈妈
Manny, what are you doing sitting in front of a pickle?
曼尼 你为什么坐在一根酸黄瓜面前
Jay says I can't leave until I taste it.
杰说我得尝尝它的味道 否则就不许走
Why do you torture him like this?
你为什么这样折磨他
'Cause he's too stuck in his ways, Gloria.
因为他太固执己见了 歌洛莉亚
This is good for him.
这对他有好处
He'll taste the pickle, he'll find that he likes it,
他会尝尝泡菜 发现自己喜欢吃
he'll try more things.
然后尝试更多的东西
This is good parenting.
这是教子有方
This is not going to play well in my memoir.
在我的自传里 不会把这写成什么好事
You know, you're one to talk.
你真会耍嘴皮子
How many times have I asked you
你跟你说过多少遍
to try my mother's blood sausages?
让你尝尝我妈做的猪血肠
Totally different. That's disgusting.
不是一回事 那香肠恶心死了
How do you know it's disgusting if you've never tried it?
你从来没吃过 怎么知道很恶心
You've never tried grandma's delicious blood sausage
你从没尝过外婆做的美味的猪血肠吗
that's right there in the freezer?
冰箱里就有啊
Oh, you're right.
你说得对
We do have some left over.
我们确实还有些剩下的
Really? It hasn't been all gobbled up yet?
是吗 还没有被哄抢着吃光吗
Okay, Mr. Father of the year,
好了 "年度最佳父亲"
time for you to show Manny that you're not a hypocrite.
该向曼尼展示你不是个光说不做的人了
Looks like you're in quite a conundrum.
看来你陷入两难了
You know, you could've said --
其实你可以说...
"A pickle"! Dang it! It was right there.
"酸黄瓜" 该死 就摆在眼前
[in the pickle同指陷入两难]
Hello.
你好
Hi. Can I help you?
你好 需要帮忙吗
Uh, yes.
是的
Um, I have something pretty special
我有一个很特殊的东西
that means the world to me,
对我来说意义重大
yet I gladly part with it
但我愿意卖掉它
to prove my love for my fiance
为了证明我对我未婚夫的爱
- Cam, you don't have to... - I do.
-小卡 你不用 -我要这样做
This is a belt buckle that was once owned
这个皮带扣以前的主人是
by the legendary Wyatt Earp.
传奇的怀亚特·厄普
And when my grandfather gave it to me, and rest his soul,
当我祖父把这个给我时 愿他安息
he said”son, this year is a
他说 孩子 今年...
Are you ok?
你还好吗
I can't be here for this. You do it.
我做不到 你来吧
And get a price on that divine lamp.
顺便再问问那盏灯卖多少钱
Um, anyway...
不管怎么样
Look, I didn't want to say anything
我不想当面打击
in front of your fiance
你的未婚夫
but this is a cheap replica
但这只是个60年代时
given away by a gas-station chain in the '60s.
加油站连锁店卖的廉价复制品
There's tons of them out there.
市面上有一大堆
It's worth about 20 bucks.
也就值20块
Are you sure?
你确定吗
Pretty sure.
非常确定
That family loves to dress up a story.
他家的确喜欢夸张[打扮]故事
And a pig.
还有打扮小猪
Well, how about a first-edition number 3
那基本全新的初版第三期
"Spider-man versus doctor octopus" in near-mint condition?
《蜘蛛侠大战章鱼博士》能卖多少钱
Keep talking.
继续说
That...
其实
Uh, uh, that's pretty much it.
其实这就是全部了
Why isn't she calling?
她怎么还没打来
Aren't you the doubter?
你总是对事情抱着怀疑态度
She'll call in three...
她会打来 倒数三
two-o-o-o...
One! One's next!
一 该数一了
Yeah.
我知道
Press record.
开始录音
Hi, mom.
喂 妈妈
Haley, honey,
海莉 宝贝
did you mean to send this text to your dad?
你是想发这条短信给你爸爸吧
Text? What does it say?
短信 什么短信
"I hate to spoil your golf game, but..."
"抱歉打扰你打高尔夫 但是..."
Uh, no, no. I-I didn't send that.
不是 我没发那条短信
Must have accidentally dictated
肯定是你和爸爸说话时
when you and dad were talking.
手机不小心听写了
Okay. That's weird.
好吧 奇怪了
Well, while I have you on the phone,
正好我打给你了
would you mind emptying the dishwasher and doing --
你能把刷碗机里的餐具拿出来
Oh, you're breaking up.
你那边的信号弱了
Haley, can you hear me now?
海莉 能听见我说话吗
Nope. Bye.
听不见了 再见
- Got it. - Told you we'd get it.
-大功告成 -跟你说了没问题吧
Now just for a little creative editing...
只需创造性地剪辑一下
Your mind is so brilliant.
你那么聪明
If you put this much effort into your schoolwork,
如果你把这份聪明用到学习上的话
there is no telling the things you could --
你一定能成就...
Why do you have to ruin everything?
你为什么总是那么扫兴
I know, she's always talking about my potential.
是啊 她总是在说我的"潜力"
Fore!
当心
Do you think I hit her?
你觉得我打到她了吗
Nah, she's fine.
没有 她没事
Sorry I'm so distracted today.
对不起 我今天太分心了
What's wrong, buddy?
怎么了 哥们
Let me ask you something.
我问你件事
Do -- do you ever get the sense
你会不会有时候觉得
that your wife feels like she could have done better?
你配不上你妻子
God, no. Nah, she's the luckiest woman on earth.
天呐 不会 她找到我算是三生有幸
I mean, if anything, I could've done better.
非要说的话 是她配不上我
The noises that come out of that woman at night?
那女人夜里发出的噪音
It's like she's that black guy from "Police Academy."
就好像她是《警察学校》里的那个黑人
Oh, speak of the devil.
说曹操 曹操就到
Message from my wife,
我老婆发来的信息
not the black guy from "Police Academy."
不是《警察学校》里的那个黑人
Oh, that'd be so awesome.
要真是他发的才给力呢
That would be neat.
超给力的
Phil? Hey, it's Claire.
菲尔 我是克莱尔
Um, I hate to spoil your golf game, but...
抱歉打扰你打高尔夫球 但是...
I'm pregnant!
我怀孕了
What?
什么
Let's talk as soon as you can.
我们尽快谈谈吧
I have to leave.
我得走了
What? We're in the middle of a game.
什么 我们正在打比赛呢
I have to be with Claire!
我得去找克莱尔
Oh -- my clubs!
我的球杆
My hat!
我的帽子
My sandwich!
我的三明治
I'm sorry I freaked out in there.
对不起我在里面崩溃了
How -- how much did we get for it?
我们卖了多少钱
You know, here. I couldn't do it.
给你 我做不到
What? No.
什么 不是吧
This belt buckle means so much to you.
这个皮带扣对你来说意义重大
I'm just gonna -- I am going to sell my comic book instead.
我决定...还是把我的漫画卖了
Oh, Mitchell, that is so sweet. You know --
米奇尔 你真是太贴心了
The idea of me parting ways with a belt buckle
一想到我要跟我爷爷与怀亚特·厄普
that my grandfather arm-wrestled Wyatt Earp for --
掰手腕赢来的皮带扣说再见
He arm-wrestled him?
他掰手腕赢了他吗
Oh, yeah, but not in a contentious way.
是啊 但不是为了争个胜负那种
You know, they were friends.
要知道他们是朋友
My grandfather saved his life during a train robbery.
我爷爷在一次火车劫案里救了他
A -- a train robbery? That's -- wow.
火车劫案 太惊人了
Cam, wow!
小卡 这太惊人了
They had a real bond.
他们关系很铁
The great Wyatt Earp and honest Abe Tucker.
伟大的怀亚特·厄普和诚实的亚伯·塔克
I have it, I'll store it,
我心里知道 不拆穿
and if I need to, I will use it.
必要时再拿出来说
You know what? I quit.
这样吧 我放弃
Pardon me for trying to broaden his horizons.
原谅我试图让他开眼界
No, no, no. You're not quitting anything.
不 不 你绝对不能放弃
You're going to eat your sausage,
你得把香肠吃了
and you're going to eat your pickle.
而你得把你的酸黄瓜吃了
I am tired of every day cooking two different meals.
我已经受够每天做两种饭了
No tomatoes. White meat only. Extra bacon.
不要番茄 只要白肉 多加培根
He gets extra bacon? What the hell?
他能多吃培根 凭什么
Today is the day you two are stopping this silliness!
你们今天必须把这毛病改了
Fine, we'll all conquer something today.
我们今天都必须克服一些东西
What do I have to conquer? I eat everything.
我有什么好克服的 我什么都吃
- Pet Stella's belly. - What?
-抚摸斯黛拉的肚子 -什么
You won't touch Stella's belly.
你从来不摸斯黛拉的肚子
Yeah, because it's the creepiest thing ever.
因为感觉太奇怪了
Has like 30 nipples.
她有三十多个乳头
I'll eat the blood sausage,
我会把猪血肠吃掉
Manny eats the pickles,
曼尼会把酸黄瓜吃掉
you pet her belly.
而你要抚摸她的肚子
I'd rather eat the dog.
我宁愿把狗吃了
Don't be a hypocrite.
别做个光说不练的人
Nice and long, like you mean it.
要长长的爱抚 发自内心的
I want to see that leg shake.
我要看到她舒服得抖腿
- Let me get these! - What's happening?
-我来拿吧 -发生什么事了
- I'm just so happy! - Really?
-我就是太高兴了 -真的吗
Oh, did you finally get a hole in one?
怎么 你一杆进洞了吗
A hole in one.
一杆进洞
I hope our baby has your sense of humor.
我希望我们的宝宝也这么幽默
- Our what? - Why didn't I see it?
-我们的什么 -我怎么没看出来呢
The drug store, the bloated ankles,
去药店 关节肿胀
you've been so moody lately...
你最近脾气也大了
What are you talking about?
你在说什么
There it is.
你看这暴脾气
Phil, I am not pregnant.
菲尔 我没怀孕
- You're not? - No.
-你没有吗 -没有
Well, why'd you leave me that message?
那你怎么跟我留言说怀孕了
Didn't leave you a message.
我没有给你留过言
Are you sure? You're very forgetful when you're pregnant.
你确定吗 你怀孕时忘性特别大
I think I would remember!
我觉得我能记得住
Then why have you been so moody?
那你为什么最近脾气这么大
Maybe because you just told me I have giant ankles!
大概是因为你刚刚说我关节肿大
Shh, I don't want him to hear us fight like this.
我不希望宝宝听到我们吵架
Give me this.
把东西给我
Okay. This is gonna be good for everybody,
这会对大家都有好处
So let's get it over with.
所以赶快行动吧
- Fine. - Okay.
-好吧 -好吧
We'll go on the count of three.
我们数三下
One...
Two...
Three.
Uh! Oh, no!
I'm gonna throw up!
我要吐了
Why so moist, Jay?! Why?!
怎么这么湿 杰 为什么
Is this a bad time?
我们来的时机不对吗
Sorry to barge in here like this.
很抱歉我们来得这么突然
I guess it's weird that, uh, I'm still storing stuff here.
感觉挺奇怪我还把东西放在这里
I just wish you would have come in sooner
我希望你来得再早一点
before I went to second base with Stella.
在我跟斯黛拉上二垒之前
All right, I'll be two minutes.
只需要两分钟
If you need money for the wedding,
如果你需要资金来筹备婚礼
why sell something that you love?
为什么要把心爱之物卖掉呢
Why don't you just ask Jay?
为什么不跟杰开口
No. No. No. No.
不 不 不 不
Why not? He's your father.
为什么不 他是你爸
I don't feel right asking my dad for money, okay?
跟我爸爸开口要钱让我很不舒服
I'm an adult, and I have my comic book.
我成年了 而且我还有我的漫画书
I hate to spoil your golf game, but...
抱歉打扰你打高尔夫 但是...
I'm pregnant!
我怀孕了
Let's talk as soon as you can.
我们尽快谈谈吧
Oh, they are good.
他们真厉害
I can't believe they pulled such an elaborate stunt.
简直不敢相信他们能做得这么天衣无缝
I don't know whether to be angry or impressed.
我不知道是该生气还是该赞赏
It's so diabolical.
简直太邪恶了
I don't know where they get that...
不知道他们从哪里弄到的
Wait. Wait. Wait.
等等 慢着
We could really have some fun with this.
我们可以好好捉弄一下他们
You know, it's funny,
说来好笑
I never saw you as a comic-book guy.
我从来不知道你喜欢漫画书
Oh, no, I wasn't, but I don't know.
我不喜欢 我也不知道
Spider-man --
《蜘蛛侠》
He -- he spoke to me.
让我产生了共鸣
I -- I think it's because it's about this nerdy kid
我觉得大概是因为这种
who has this special secret side of himself
一个小书呆子有着
that he can't share with anybody, and --
不可告人的另外一面的感觉
And that's how I always felt.
我一直也都是这么觉得的
Spider-man made me feel like it was okay to be different.
蜘蛛侠让我觉得与众不同没什么不好
And...it made me feel tough enough to --
而且他让我在遇到困难时
to get through the rough times.
变得足够坚强
Oh, Mitchell, that's so sweet.
米奇尔 这真让人感动
I didn't know that.
我都不知道是这样的
Are you sure you want to sell it?
你确定要把它卖了吗
Yes, yes.
是的 确定
Because, like Spider-man, I am brave and strong.
因为 就像蜘蛛侠一样 我勇敢坚强
- Oh! Spider web! Spider web! - Mitchell.
-蜘蛛网 蜘蛛网 -米奇尔
It's in my mouth.
弄到我嘴里了
- Oh, Mitchell! - What?! Oh!
-米奇尔 -怎么了 天哪
No! No! Oh, no!
不 不 不
Give me a break, Phil!
得了吧 菲尔
What do you want from me?!
你到底想我怎么样
- Shh! - I didn't say anything.
-小声点 -我什么都没说啊
A little compassion when you thought I was pregnant
你听说我怀孕的时候
would have been nice!
能不能多点热情
I'm sorry. It was a knee-jerk reaction.
对不起 那是我的下意识反应
You got that half right!
说你是个混蛋[jerk]倒是真的
Well, you're not pregnant, anyway, so who cares?!
反正你也没怀孕 谁在乎呢
And what did I say that was so terrible?!
我说了什么你这么大火气
Well, I believe your exact words were,
用你的原话说就是
"Great, another kid that we could screw up.”
太好了 我们又有一个孩子可以糟蹋了
Oh, I'm sorry. But we both know that's true.
那对不起了 但我们都知道我说得没错
Wait. Are you saying we never should have them in the first place.
等等 你是说我们根本不应该要孩子吗
Like you never said that!
就好像你没这么说过一样
This is awful.
这太糟了
This is what you thought gonna happen?
你一开始就知道会这样吗
I didn't think that far ahead.
我想不到那么远的
I never do. You know that.
从没想过 你知道的
You should've stopped me!
你应该阻止我的
You said this was going to be fun!
你说这会很有趣的
Nobody is having fun!
现在没有人觉得有趣
Careful?! Please, Phil!
说话注意点 菲尔
If you hadn't gotten me pregnant,
如果你没有把我的肚子搞大
I never would have married you!
我根本不可能嫁给你
I would have married Bobby Nash!
我肯定嫁给鲍比·纳什了
- You would?! - Oh, yeah!
-真的吗 -是啊
And right now, I would be on my 100-acre ranch in Aspen
现在我就该在阿斯本一百亩的大庄园里了
with my strapping 6'4" hedge-fund husband!
和我两米多高做对冲基金的老公一起
You really wish you'd married Bobby?
你真的希望你嫁的是鲍比吗
Oh, every single day!
每天都这么希望
No, Phil.
等等 菲尔
Dad, are you okay?
爸爸 你还好吗
Yep.
还行
That's what I am to everyone around here.
这家里每个人都这么看我
- Mom... - Just "Okay."
-妈妈 -只是"还行"而已
- Phil! - Hey, mom?
-菲尔 -妈妈
- Not now. - Phil!
-等会儿 -菲尔
You guys hear that? We totally got them!
你们听见了吗 我们完全骗到他们了
Quick! We need a blow dryer!
快点 我们需要个吹风机
Is this some sort of gay emergency?
是有什么基佬紧急情况吗
No, dad, it's not a gay emergency!
不 爸爸 不是什么基佬紧急情况
It's my comic book.
是我的漫画书
We need to -- ohh, god!
我们要... 天呐
It's ruined.
全毁了
Mitchell, it's okay.
米奇尔 没事的
It probably wasn't worth that much anyway.
反正也许并不值那么多钱
It was worth $5,000! Your belt buckle is garbage.
这书值五千块 你的皮带扣分文不值
It came from a gas station!
那是从加油站买的
Your grandfather never met Wyatt Earp!
你祖父从来没见过怀亚特·厄普
I didn't hold on to that for quite as long as I thought.
这个秘密看来没有保守太久
Hey, I'm sorry.
对不起
I -- I didn't mean to blurt it out like that.
这事我没想说的
No, it's -- it's okay.
不 没关系
I -- I kinda suspected the dates didn't line up.
我也怀疑过时间点不太对
Now I'm starting to think that wasn't
现在我开始怀疑那到底是不是
[阿梅莉亚: 著名美国女飞行员]
Amelia Earhart's compass.
阿梅莉亚·埃尔哈特的指南针了
I'm so sorry, but I am sure that Jay can help you two out.
太可惜了 但我觉得杰肯定能帮到你们
No, no, no, no, no.
不 不 不
We want to do this on our own.
我们想自己解决这个问题
Can I ask you a question?
我能问个问题吗
Why are you having such a big thing anyway?
你们为什么要弄一个那么大的婚礼
Well, because we're only getting married once.
因为我们只结一次婚啊
I'm just saying, why do you need to make into a spectacle?
我只是想说为什么你们要如此大张旗鼓
A s-- a spectacle?
大张旗鼓
This could be the universe's way of telling you
这也许正是老天想要暗示你们
to bring it down a notch.
把婚礼搞得低调一点
Invite your family, your friend Pepper,
邀请家人 还有你们的朋友胡娇
and, what's his name, the -- the -- the flouncy one?
还有那个叫什么的 爱穿荷叶边的那个
Uh, L'david.
L·大卫
I don't have a flouncy friend named L'david, dad.
我没有爱穿荷叶边的叫L·大卫的朋友
Do -- do you mean L'michael or J'marcus?
你是说L·迈克或是J·马库斯吗
I'm not sure who you're referring to.
我不太确定你说的是谁
Whatever.
管他呢
I'm just saying keep it small.
我就是说低调一点
Why pay all that money for people you barely know?
为何要为了几乎不认识的人花那么多钱呢
Oh, oh, you mean like any of your friends?
你是说你的那些朋友吗
Oh, please, you don't want any of my friends there.
拜托 你不会想邀请我的朋友们的
Really? Because I've --
真的吗 因为我
I've been asking for a list for months now.
我管你要名单都要了几个月了
So, so who doesn't want them there --
到底是谁不想让他们来呢
me or you?
我还是你
Why are you getting upset?
你为什么生气
Because, dad, if -- if this was Claire's wedding,
因为如果这是克莱尔的婚礼
you would be all over it.
你就会投入得多了
You'd be wanting to have it at your club.
你甚至会要求在你的俱乐部办
You'd be inviting all your friends.
你会邀请你所有的朋友
Oh, please!
拜托
I wasn't that thrilled when Claire got married, either.
克莱尔结婚时我也一样不那么兴奋
"Either"? For god's sake, just stop talking.
"也一样" 老天爷啊 别说了
Everybody back off.
所有人都退一步
I don't think I'm out of line
我不觉得我说得过分
suggesting my friends don't want to see
我的朋友不会想在盛大的
a father-son dance at a big gay wedding.
同志婚礼上 看父子共舞
There is no father-son dance, dad.
根本没什么父子舞 老爸
I don't know what things go on there.
我不知道在同志婚礼上是什么情况
Do I walk you down the aisle?
我需要牵着你走红毯吗
Does someone throw a bouquet?
会有人扔花束吗
I mean, I'm just saying, I don't know
我是说 我不知道
how this stuff plays out
如果我俱乐部那些朋友来了
with my guys from the club.
会是怎样的情况
Oh, you mean the guys who sit around the locker room
你是说那些围坐在屋子里
watching football naked?
裸身看橄榄球赛的人吗
No! No! See, this -- this isn't about them.
不 别劝我 问题不在于他们
This is about you.
而在于你
You are the one that's uncomfortable here.
是你觉得有点不太能接受
Fine. I admit it.
好吧 我承认
This whole wedding thing is weird to me.
你们的整个婚礼在我看来都很古怪
Now, see, why do you get to be you,
为什么你可以做真实的自己
but I don't get to be me?
而我却不可以呢
See, I didn't choose to be uncomfortable.
我也不想对此感到不太能接受
《Born this way》是Lady Gaga的著名撑同性恋歌曲深受广大同性恋的喜爱
I was born this way.
但我生来就是这样的人
Are you really throwing a gay anthem in our face right now?
你现在真的要用同志圣歌来堵我们的嘴吗
Oh, damn it. Give me some credit.
该死的 你也理解一下我吧
You know how far I've come.
你知道我做到今天这样有多不容易
I mean, what more do you want from me?
你还希望我怎么样呢
You know what, dad? Y-you do.
算了 老爸 你可以的
You do get to be you.
你也可以做真实的自己
If -- if it really makes you that uncomfortable, then...
如果你真的不太能完全接受的话 那么
don't come to the wedding.
就别来参加我们的婚礼了
Mitchell...
米奇尔
No! No, see? We're scaling back already.
别 瞧 我们已经在削减参与人员了
Phil, honey...
菲尔 亲爱的
What happened down there?
刚刚在下面是怎么回事
You attacked me.
你攻击了我
In a fun way. We were both doing it.
那是在玩啊 我们都在互相攻击啊
I heard you this morning,
我听到你今早说的话了
Talking about your super-cute boyfriend Bobby,
谈论你超帅的男友鲍比
saying that I was the "Comfortable" choice,
说我只是个"舒适的"选择
that you only married me because your dad hated it.
你跟我结婚只是为了跟你爸作对
No, sweetheart.
不 亲爱的
I was not talking about you.
我当时不是在说你
I was explaining to the girls
我是在跟女儿们解释
about an outfit that I was wearing in a picture
我有张照片上穿的那身衣服
that was the comfortable choice
是个"舒适的"选择
that my dad hated.
而我爸很讨厌这件衣服
Oh, honey.
亲爱的
You can't possibly think that's why I married you.
你怎会以为我是因为那样才跟你结婚的呢
Okay, I -- I get it a-about your dad.
好吧 我懂你爸这人
I -- I -- sometimes I do wonder, you know,
但有时候我真的会假想
if you hadn't gotten pregnant...
如果你当时没怀孕
- would we even be here right now? - Yeah.
-我们会像现在这样在一起吗 -是啊
Well, I wonder the same thing, too.
我也老是想同样的问题
You do?
是吗
Yes. All the time.
是啊 经常想
Just last week,
就上周
you and the kids were outside washing the car,
你和孩子们在外面洗车
and you got in that soap battle
你们开始了肥皂泡大战
and everybody was running around laughing.
大家都在跑 不停地笑
And I stood there at the kitchen window,
我站在厨房的窗前
and I was thinking how lucky I am.
心想着我是多么幸运
'cause I would have missed all of this
因为如果我没跟你结婚的话
if I hadn't married you.
就会错过这一切
I knew you were watching.
我知道你在看
That's why I dropped the sponge.
所以我故意把海绵掉在了地上
That's what got my attention in the first place.
正是这个动作最开始吸引了我的注意力
You really don't regret not marrying Bobby Nash?
你真的不后悔没嫁给鲍比·纳什吗
No.
不后悔
He was cute, but he was boring.
他是很帅 但也很无趣
He never once made me laugh.
他都没成功逗笑过我一次
You laugh at me all the time.
我经常能逗得你笑
I do.
是啊
I liked how happy you were
我很喜欢你听说我怀孕时
when you thought I was pregnant.
表现出的那种喜悦
Of course I was.
那是当然了
Do you think you could pick that up for me?
你可以帮我捡起来吗
I don't know.
不知道呢
It's so far down here.
真的好低哦
See? I told you they were gonna be fine.
瞧吧 我就说他们肯定会和好的
- Door lock! - Run!
-锁门了 -快跑
Go! Go! Go! Go!
快走 快走
Hey, Phil, it's Mitchell, Claire's brother.
嗨菲尔 我是米奇尔 克莱尔的弟弟
I heard about your and Claire's whole pregnancy situation,
我听说你把克莱尔搞怀孕了
And I'm -- I'm sorry my dad didn't have a better reaction.
我很抱歉我爸的反应那么恶劣
Don't take it personally.
你别往心里去
He's just like that.
他就是那样的人
He'll -- he'll come around.
他会想通的
And if not...
如果他想不通的话
His loss.
那也是他的损失
Yeah, okay, anyway,
对了 总之
uh, now that we're gonna be family,
既然我们已经是一家人了
it's -- it's probably a little weird for me to date your cousin,
我如果和你表妹谈恋爱的话可能有点怪
so maybe you could ask her to stop paging me?
或许你可以让她别再呼我了
It's so crazy.
真是太疯狂了
I know. Uncle Mitchell with a pager.
我也觉得 戴着呼机的米奇尔舅舅
No, Stella. Okay? No!
不行 斯黛拉 别妄想了
Stella, I said no.
斯黛拉 我说了不行
You...
你...
Okay, but just this time, okay?
好吧 就这一次
And you keep your mouth shut about this.
你最好死守这个秘密
Who's there?
是谁鬼鬼祟祟的