I'm mad for you, Diane.
Roger's dating already?
OMG, I wonder if she's younger than him.
You hold on a second.
Lorraine, how's my favorite client?
I've been on something of a hot streak at work.
I've tapped into a rich vein of new clients --
recently divorced moms.
You might say I hit the single-mother lode.
How about that master suite, huh?
Maybe if I had someone to share it with.
Lorraine, you are a beautiful woman with a lot to offer.
罗琳 你风韵犹存 是抢手的高价货
Should we make an offer?
It's a great house, but I'm just gonna be alone.
Diane, you're not gonna be alone.
You're gonna get a loan.
Sodas, snacks -- poker game's in the basement.
拿着苏打 零食 我们去地下室玩牌
Look, I need more sleep than you,
and ever since they cut down that stupid prune tree,
the sun has been right in my eyes every morning.
It's not a prune tree. They pruned the tree.
And I'm not switching places with you,
so you should just put your head at the other end of the bed.
Uh, why? So my feet get the pillow?
And I'm the dumb one.
Diane, you have got to forget about him.
Roger's Cheyenne's problem now.
- Honey... - You know what?
You need to talk.
Starbucks for a little go juice?
I need to go into the office.
My dad wants me to close out the monthly.
Monthly. Never mind. Go on.
月事 没事 你继续
I'm stretched a little thin today, so I need you
to do the grocery shopping, check in on the kids,
and maybe clean up those branches in the front yard.
Is that an expression,
or did you really only remember two of the things I said?
- The second. - I'll leave you a message.
Sorry. Call back.
I have bad news, Jay.
Joe was thrown out of the gymboree.
Again? What happened?
He pushed Mason. He made him cry.
The teacher said that we cannot go back.
That's ridiculous. Mason's a big baby.
Everybody there is a big baby.
But Joe plays very rough.
And we know why. It's the curse.
Not that I'd ever want to discourage you from whispering,
but that's not a thing.
There is a mark of the devil in my family.
My great-great grandfather
was given the location of an emerald mine
in exchange for his soul.
There's, like, paperwork or something that proves this?
And they say that the day of his daughter's wedding,
a great bird came from the sky
and snatched him with his claws
and took him far, far away.
You're aware that a remarkable number of your stories end
with a family member being carried off by a giant bird.
I only know what I was told, Jay.
I'm just saying after the third time,
we might think about moving the party inside.
Okay, maybe it's not the curse,
but you know that my family has a very dark side.
My cousin Aurelio is a horse thief.
My uncle Carlos fixed soccer games. My aunt --
Did he teach them to pick the ball up
and throw it down the field?
'Cause that's the only way you fix soccer.
Manny escaped it, but I am not sure about Joe.
Gloria, this is about an uptight teacher.
And so what if Joe's a little boisterous?
Whatever happened to letting kids be themselves?
- Ready. - Lose the hat.
I guess I'm supposed to see "Sound of Music" in a regular hat.
Nothing against "Sound of Music,"
but there's a lot of other things
we could do this afternoon.
You ever hear of "Death Wish"?
Oh, I love "Death Wish."
Manny, that's the charity where the sick kids go to,
like, a concert with Madonna
or to the super bowl with Justin Bieber, or they --
It's a movie -- New York, '70s,
Charles Bronson's a firm family man, and he...
Who's pushed to the limit
until one day he decides to fight back.
- You've seen it? - It's called "Death Wish."
I doubt it ends with him trading banter
in an apartment with Marsha Mason.
Hello, my intended.
That one sounds a little murdery.
You are my intended.
Stop it. Stop it!
So, while you're out,
I'm gonna review our flower options,
and I have to say, so far, i'm partial to Floral and Hardy,
but I'm gonna give one last look at Florist Gump.
You love a business with a clever name.
Can I just say I love how this is going?
Mitchell and I agreed
that I would be in charge of the wedding
after the tragic news last week from the Andys.
Uh, not the mountain range. No.
Our friends Andrew and Andrew --
The stress of planning a wedding was too much.
They were quibbling about...
I mean, uh, which is why I'm just happy
to stay out of his way.
Yeah, I dream big. Then I winnow down.
对 我构思远大 然后再精简
Dream big. Winnow down.
- Dream big. - Okay, winnow down.
-构思远大 -好了 放下来
Yep. Stay out of my way. Sorry.
没错 别挡着我 抱歉
Daddy, where's Larry?
Oh, well, you know how cats are, sweetie.
They're -- they're wanderers.
But I haven't seen him in days.
Well, he'll be back, okay?
没事 他会回家的 好吗
Trust daddy on this.
You know, I'm starting to get worried
that Larry might not come back.
- Oh, he's definitely dead. - What?!
Yeah, street meat or coyote chow.
We'll wait a couple weeks, and then we'll get a new Larry.
Uh, you're pretty nonchalant about our family pet dying.
And shouldn't we help our daughter process this loss?
Yes, we will, and she'll be fine.
应该 应该 她会没事的
And it's not nonchalant.
It's farm life. Death is everywhere.
You just learn to not get too attached to anything.
Oh, so, what, if I were to die,
you would just wait a few weeks and then replace me?
Where would I find another gay Mitchell
with your exact markings?
What's happening, big Al?
Yeah, let's go ahead and veto that nickname.
Hey, Reuben taught me this cool trick.
Oh, my god! What is wrong with you?
You kissed a girl. Now we're even.
Just paying off a poker debt.
Luke's creepy friend just kissed me.
Ew. Reuben? That little weirdo?
好恶 罗本吗 那个小怪胎吗
I'm gonna go boil my mouth.
Oh, hey, guys. Game's downstairs.
This little game you dorks play,
we talking milk money or heavy cream?
A lot of fresh bar mitzvah money down there.
We kind of got a no-girls policy.
Is it a policy or just something that keeps happening?
I am so excited I can't stand it!
If you're gonna move your hands around like that,
you need to put the phone down.
Okay, okay, okay.
好的 好的 好的
For cocktail hour,
they're creating a running waterfall
onto which they're going to project
a hologram of us embracing.
But we're still winnowing, right?
I cut the angel costumes.
Hard choices, Mitchell.
Okay, I got to go. I'm so excited!
好的 我得挂了 太激动啦
Best thing about my relationship with Cam?
Newsflash -- I can be an obsessive person.
In the past, I've had trouble letting someone else
Giving up control made me crazy.
That's what makes my life with Cam so freeing.
I can turn over big things to him
and never give them a second thought.
Out of sight, out of mind. Bye-bye.
眼不见 心不烦 拜拜了您
- Phil?! - Yeah, I was just sitting there,
and he basically molested me.
She's talking about Reuben.
You boys better have money.
I am not doing this for free.
W-w-what's -- what's happening?
Oh, I hear you, Joyce.
His time's important. Your time isn't, right?
他的时间宝贵 你的就不宝贵 是吧
Let me buzz you back, superstar.
Branches are still in the front yard,
I just took a rake to the face,
Reuben is getting really weird on Alex,
And Haley's doing something for money in the basement.
It's all gonna be fine.
Daddy's home, superstar.
No. Don't call me that.
I'm not one of your needy little divorces.
Um, that is work.
'Cause I kind of feel like part of you loves
being a hero to those women.
I'm a helper of people.
Hey, you knew what you signed up for
when you hitched your wagon to a realtor man.
Honey, when I met you,
you were a wedding deejay.
By the way, Spinderfella,
looks like you still need to hit the grocery store.
I think someone's feeling neglected.
Yes, I deal with a lot of lonely women,
but there's only one I'm married to.
You're getting too involved, Phil.
You are juggling these women,
and you're not that good a juggler.
Now you're just lashing out!
but sometimes Joe even scares me.
Lucky for me, there are professionals
that are trained to deal with such problems.
Ay, thank you for coming, padre.
您好 谢谢您过来 神父
Oh, of course, Gloria.
And this must be Fulgencio.
What a beautiful little boy.
He's such a sweet nature.
I can tell he's a gentle soul.
Ah! Hey, Fulgencio, no, no.
弗汉希欧 松手 松手
Ay, that's why I called you, Father.
I think he's bad.
There is evil in my family.
Ah, Gloria, he's just a little baby.
Last week, his eyes got red,
and the dog backed away.
He probably just had a cold.
All mothers worry.
Look at him -- rosy cheeks, he's playing with his blocks.
你看他 气色红润 乖乖地玩积木呢
So, Joe knocks one kid down, he's out.
Why do you think your whole building is made out of nerf?
Yeah, you see where he gets it from.
Hey, listen, I'm not afraid of you, Miss Debbie.
听着 我可不怕你 黛比老师
You're not the -- damn it.
Sounds like someone needs a relaxing trip
to nazi-occupied Austria.
Can't believe she hung up on me.
Well, you were yelling at her.
Standing up for yourself is not the same thing as, uh --
So no one ever taught you manners, huh?
No, you bump into somebody, you apologize.
And since I'm teaching you something here,
here's a little class called "Intro to pants."
I go to school with those kids.
You know how embarrassing that was?
Why do you always got to be like this --
judgmental, hot-tempered, loud?
爱评判别人 脾气爆 还大嗓门
These are a few of my least-favorite things.
Well, I can see that the house speaks to you, Diane.
Ah, the open floor plan, the spacious kitchen.
开放式的布局 宽敞的厨房 多好
That's -- that's the office.
Why don't you take one last look at the backyard?
Did someone say barbecue?
Lorraine, what is up?
Nothing. Just kicking it at the office.
Tell Phil what happened.
Phil, can I go in the garage?
Make yourself at home, sister.
你就把这当自己家 随意 妹妹
That was my sister who is visiting town
-- and my office,
which is where I am calling you from.
I'm worried about Larry.
Oh, honey, I know.
Um, Lily, there's probably something I should tell you.
Larry's not coming back home.
Why? Is he dead?
Nope. Um, not dead.
Larry, uh, met someone, fell in love,
Are they ever going to visit?
I'm afraid not because when cats get married,
they have to move to, um, the forest,
and so then they're not tempted by other cats in the city.
- It's Larry. - I know.
Even people that you would never expect
- have moments of weakness. - No, over there.
-也会有软弱的时候 -不 在那
But where's his wife?
Yeah, uh, well, you know what?
I think they probably, uh, didn't work out,
and they broke up.
People get married and then break up?
What if that happens to you and daddy?
Oh, y-you know what? Daddy made a mistake.
Uh, Larry and his wife didn't break up.
That's why we're gonna give him the closure he needs
by throwing, um, a funeral
to celebrate the remarkable life of Larry's wife.
It's gonna be great. You know what?
We're gonna have music, we're gonna get a shoe box...
...we're gonna have candles.
Yes. Hi, Florist Gump. It's me again.
喂 阿甘花店 又是我
It felt good to handle that crisis on my own.
In the past, I would have had to run to Mitchell,
but he's been trusting me more and more.
I'm so proud of him.
He's really learned to let things go.
Oh, no! God, no, no, no!
不 天啊 不 不 不
It's a bloodbath down there.
We lost everything.
I thought you were good.
I always beat Dylan.
Come on. We need your help.
You're the best card player in this family.
What's in it for me?
- A chance to be a good sister. - Pass.
Reuben's been telling everyone
you slipped him the tongue.
I thought cats had nine lives.
Yeah, and they do,
but Larry's wife was older than he was,
and she'd been married eight times before.
Like Elizabeth Taylor?
Oh, you remember our bedtime stories.
Oh, Dylan, thank you for coming on such short notice.
I just need you to dig a hole right over here.
- Thank you. - Oh, no problem.
So, Lily, I'm really sorry.
Fine. He's a happy cat.
That's gonna make my job a lot easier.
Okay, everyone, thank you for coming.
好了 各位 感谢你们前来
It means a lot to Lily, and it means a lot to me.
So, Larry's wife -- what can I say?
And, um, you know, like all cat marriages,
they had their ups and their downs,
but they always landed on their feet.
Please stay calm! Please stay calm!
No running! It's slippery!
Angus, keep playing!
- Randall! - Yeah?
This is all intern work.
It isn't for my band.
Need me to do a coffee run?
No, uh, listen, I was -- I was cleaning,
不是 听我说 我刚刚在打扫
and I got stuck up here,
and I need you to go into my office
and stand up the ladder that fell.
And I'm sorry about lying before.
Those are flyers for my band,
Uh-oh. Your door's locked.
But, hey, I-I think, if you keep going forward,
then back your legs out through the vent,
I can grab them to help you down.
That makes me a little nervous.
Just think about something else.
I heard you're getting married. How's that going?
It's -- it's good. It's good.
You know, we're planning it right now.
Actually, it's being planned for me.
That's nice. No stress.
Oh, you'd think, huh?
But it's getting a little bit out of hand.
Oh, that happens with weddings.
I mean, how many weddings have you been to
that have something called a dove cannon?
You know, I think I should have a say
in something like that.
You need to let go, Mr. Pritchett.
I-I wish I could, but I can't.
I just -- it's freaking me out.
No, I've got you already.
You know, I'm pretty good at reading people,
and it sounds like you and your lady
really need to talk this out.
Yeah, maybe you're right.
So I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.
- I'm gay. - Oh, my god.
Got to save something for the wedding night, huh?
Riley, no! Buster, please sit!
莱利 别这样 巴斯特 快坐下
These cats and dogs are fighting like -- oh!
Okay, everybody, I'm sorry.
好了 各位 很抱歉
This was supposed to be a small service,
but I don't winnow down.
And if I let a simple fake cat funeral get out of hand,
how am I supposed to plan an entire wedding?
Okay, I need Mitchell.
Okay, in. In, in.
好 进来 快进来
And, please, can somebody catch that thing?
Okay, all right, stay.
好 好的 都留下
Hey! How was the gym?
Listen, Cam, I got to talk about something.
What would you think about being more involved with the wedding?
That's what I wanted to talk about.
You know, I just think we're -- we're better together.
"Better together." Mm, I like that.
I cannot be in a house with snakes.
Gonna need about an hour.
I got you Sno-caps,
'cause, you know, at the end, they escape across the alps.
Thanks for ruining it.
Calm down. The movie's 50 years old.
Making friends everywhere, aren't you?
Listen, you always say, "Express your feelings."
When I get mad, that's what I do.
Hello? Yeah, I can talk.
My parents dragged me into this stupid movie.
Go ahead, Jay. Feed him his phone.
上吧 杰 把他的手机塞他嘴里
You're telling me that doesn't bother you?
I can't hear you. Talk louder.
...if we give in to every impulse,
we're no better than wild animals.
But if we push it down, it eats you alive.
Not if you just let it go.
The chick from that crapfest "Mary Poppins."
A lot of cold, lonely nights in that apartment by myself
while my mom was driving a taxi,
and only one thing kept me company.
So, you got a problem with poppins,
you got a problem with me.
Ay, Father, I am so sorry.
I didn't even know that he could hold a fork.
No, no, no, I blame myself.
I probably shouldn't have taken his nose.
No, it's my family.
The girls are very chesty,
but the men, they're kissed by the devil.
Gloria, the fact that you are so concerned
is only proof that you are a loving and caring mother.
It's the parents who shape the child.
And your son is growing up in a wonderful home.
Louder, like you did
at the drive-through.
Mom, Jay and I saw "Death Wish."
Manny got in a fight at "The Sound of Music,"
I've never been so proud.
Well, I guess every household
could use a little fine-tuning, huh?
Let me give you my card
- with my cell number on it. - Please.
And what did I do with my wallet? I...
I had yelled at Phil for not helping out,
and there he was, doing exactly what I had asked him to do...
Here's our zucchini.
...for some other family.
You are so sweet for helping me with this.
How hurt you've been, Lorraine --
This is sweet. This is...normal.
I thought I was superstar.
Oh, your husband has been so wonderful to me.
He's not my husband. He's my realtor.
Oh, he's my realtor.
I'm both your realtors.
I-I'm just lucky to have such a --
We're on our way to an open house.
Oh, is that why you couldn't
show me the colonial later?
I made that corn bread that you like.
W-we're gonna make it to that.
I just have to finish up with Lorraine.
Oh, you mean, like, "Get it over with"?
No, I-I don't mean that.
And I thought zucchini bread was your favorite.
Why -- why am I buying zucchini?
Hey, can't a guy like zucchini bread
- Phil? - Damn it.
I thought you had a doctor's appointment.
That's why you had to miss Darrell's swim meet.
Just another client.
"Just another client"?
No, that's -- what is this?
Uh-oh, it is. It's my office.
World's greatest realtor.
What are you doing here?
Your hair is sweating.
That's 'cause I'm excited to see my friends.
Are you all clients of Phil's?
Well, you could not be in better hands.
I met Phil when I was at such a rocky place in my life.
He was available to me morning, noon, and night.
Of course he found me my dream house,
but that wasn't the best part.
Phil taught me how to trust a man again,
and I think that was always his plan.
That was always my plan.
And it was not easy for me to trust a man
after the husband that I'd had.
This guys left tools in the yard,
let the kids run wild.
Well, great to see you, Claire.
He was always interrupting me.
And he wore the most ridiculous sleep-mask thing.
Oh, god, sounds like such a diva.
Or he's photosensitive,
which is a real condition.
Never took my advice.
You know, that's the worst part.
He never -- he never said he was sorry just one time.
I would kill to have heard,
"Claire, you were right."
I do not love this side of you.
Thanks for winning my computer back.
And getting me all my money. That was awesome.
Yeah, if only I had stopped there,
but I had to go back down.
I got greedy, and I was careless.
There's a story about that I remember from school.
Icarus flew too close to his son.
I think their wings bumped.
One of them fell. They might have been ducks.
Anyway, the lesson is, is that you have to pay attention.
总之 教训就是 你得注意点儿
Or pay the ultimate price.
Shall we, my dear?