摩登家庭 第五季 Modern Family Season 5 第4集: Farm Strong

上映日期: 2,013

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 詹姆斯·R·巴格多纳斯

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·安德森-埃蒙斯


台词
Remember before when we don't have kids,
记得以前我们没孩子时
we can just lie in bed on Saturday.
周六可以整天躺在床上
That's how we got them.
我们就是那么怀上他们的
Why did I have to be so sexy?
我为什么非要如此性感
A few months ago, Luke joined the club soccer team.
几个月前 卢克加入了足球队
And at first, we were thrilled.
刚开始我们高兴得很
But then we realized
后来我们意识到
it takes over your whole weekend.
那会占据我们整个周末
And not in the cool marathon way.
而且不像周末性爱马拉松那么过瘾
Luke sits on the bench a lot,
卢克常常坐冷板凳
which means we sit in the hot sun for like eight hours
那就意味着我们要在烈日下坐上8个小时
just to see him play five minutes.
就为了看他踢5分钟球
But what a five minutes. Tell'em about last week.
但5分钟能发生很多 说说上周的事
Oh, yeah. Luke stopped a goal with his face.
卢克用脸阻挡了一个进球
- Too bad he doesn't remember that. - Yeah.
-他不记得实在太可惜了 -是啊
What if we sent Luke to the game without us today?
要是我们今天不去看卢克比赛了呢
- We can't do that. - Why not?
-这可不行 -为什么不行
Missing one tournament doesn't
我们不会因为错过一次比赛
make us bad parents.
就成了糟糕的父母
My mom never went to any of my stuff.
我妈从没参加过我的活动
I'm fine.
我不也好好的吗
Why didn't she go to any of your stuff?
她为什么不参加你的活动
Because she was an incredibly competitive woman
因为她太争强好胜了
who didn't like to see me do very well at anything,
不愿意看到我在某一方面表现出色
but I think it's pretty clear who won.
但我认为现在谁是赢家一目了然
I'm working now, you know,
我现在还要工作
and I really need my weekends back
我非常需要利用周末时间
to -- to catch up on errands.
去做些杂事
I don't know. It just feels wrong.
我也说不清 但我感觉那样不对
Would it feel wrong to use that robot gutter cleaner
要是你能把三周来没时间拆封的
that's been sitting in the box for the last three weeks?
清沟机拿出来用还会觉得不对吗
No, that would feel right -- so right.
不会 那挺好的 好极了
Did I tell you I call it "The gutter done"?
我告诉过你我称之为"一扫光"吗
You did! I love "Gutter done."
你说过 我喜欢"一扫光"
It's your sense of humor. It's so fun.
你太有幽默感了 太好玩了
Okay, stop drilling. You struck oil.
好了 快别拍马屁了 你的目的达到了
But only if Luke's 100% cool with it.
但前提是卢克也同意
Yeah, of course. I'm on it.
当然了 我来搞定
You know, if we're not going,
如果我们不去
we could stay in bed a little longer.
就可以在床上多"玩"一会儿
- No, thank you. - Okay.
-不用了 谢谢 -好吧
Don't want to have this conversation again in 15 years.
我不想15年后再重复上面的对话
家 庭
摩 登
第五季 第四集
What are you doing with those swatches?
你拿着那些样品干嘛
She's gonna be here any minute.
她随时都可能过来
I told you to put all this wedding stuff away.
我早就让你把这些婚礼用品收起来了
Are these really our top-two choices for color palette?
这两个真的是最好的颜色选择吗
Why are they both white?
为什么都是白色的
That's what my friend Keisha asks about you and daddy.
我朋友凯莎也这么问为什么你和大爸都是白人
Instead of hiding all this stuff,
与其把这些东西都藏起来
why don't you just tell Pam we're getting married?
你何不直接告诉小帕我们要结婚了呢
I will, when she's ready.
我会告诉她的 得等她做好心理准备
Carefully and preferably in a large, open field.
得在一个宽阔的场地上小心翼翼地告诉她
She's your sister, not the Hulk.
她是你姐姐 又不是绿巨人
My big sister, Pam, is emotionally fragile
我姐小帕情感异常脆弱
and she's still single, so when she finds out
至今依然单身 所以她一旦发现
I'm getting married before she is --
我在她之前结婚...
Look out.
小心点
She can be meaner than a barn owl at sunset.
她会比黄昏时的猫头鹰还要凶残
Because that's when they wake up?
因为猫头鹰那时候起床吗
Yep. That's morning time for a barn owl.
没错 对猫头鹰来说那是早晨
- It's her! - Quick! Hide!
-她来了 -快点 藏起来
It's okay, Lily. Come on.
没关系的 莉莉 过来
Oh, take that bow out of her hair.
把她的蝴蝶结发箍拿下来
I don't want to rub our daughter's adorableness
我不想在我姐面前炫耀
in my barren sister's face.
我们美丽可爱的女儿
- There she is! - Hey, Pam!
-她来了 -你好啊 小帕
Well, the damn airline lost my trunk.
该死的航班把我的行李箱弄丢了
- Now I'm gonna have to make new clothes. - Oh, no.
-害我要做新衣服了 -真糟糕
Yep.
是啊
I need to squeeze something.
我得找点东西捏捏
- Get over here, Lily. - I'm good.
-过来 莉莉 -我就免了吧
Yeah, well, she's shy.
她有点害羞
So, Pam, we've got some big news.
小帕 我们有个重大消息
Speaking of big news --
说起重大消息
You remember that little ugly girl i used to babysit,
你记得我以前照顾过的那个丑姑娘吗
Britney Horner?
名叫布兰妮·霍尔纳
- Yeah. - Well, she got married last summer,
-记得 -她去年夏天结婚了
and now she's pregnant with twins.
现在怀上双胞胎了
So, if you're keeping track, that's ugly -- 2, me -- nothing.
瞧瞧 丑女婚姻孩子双丰收 我一无所有
What's your news?
你们要说什么消息
Well...
就是...
We're getting a new dryer.
我们要买一台新烘干机
Well, I'm very happy for y'all.
真为你们高兴
Thank you.
谢谢
How come I never get a new dryer?
我怎么就从没买过新烘干机
Mom, in all the time you've known grandpa,
妈 从你对外公有记忆起
has he ever used the word "Fluxions"?
他曾经说过"流溢"这个词吗
That is not an f-word I have heard him use.
我没听他说过这个"F"开头的词
He's beating me in "Words with friends."
他在"和朋友比拼写"游戏中打败了我
How is that even possible?
这怎么可能
Shouldn't you be playing "Words with friends"
你不是应该跟你的朋友一起玩
with friends?
"和朋友比拼写"吗
Grandpa is my friend.
外公就是我的朋友啊
Of course he is. That's not sad. What?
当然了 一点都不可悲 什么
Morning, buddy. What's with the pillow?
早上好 伙计 戴着枕头干什么
It's for soccer.
为了足球啊
My neck gets pretty tired watching all those games.
看比赛看得我脖子都酸了
Right.
是哦
Yeah, I'll bet.
对啊 我猜也是
Say, listen, your dad and I were just talking
听着 你爸爸和我刚在讨论
about you maybe wanting to go to the game without us today.
今天你可能不想我们陪你去比赛了
But it's totally up to you.
不过这完全由你决定
Whatever you want because we love you very much.
你要怎样都行 因为我们非常爱你
Right. You can either ride with some of your teammates,
对 你可以跟你的队友一起去
like the L.A. Kings,
像洛杉矶国王队一样
or you can ride with us,
你也可以跟我们一起去
like how Gloria and grandpa take Joe to playdates.
就像歌洛莉亚和你外公带着乔去玩
Professional athlete, little poopy baby --
专业运动员 还是小屁孩
- Your call. - I'll get a ride with Max.
-你决定 -我跟麦克斯一起去
- Great! - Are you sure it's okay?
-很好 -你确定真的没问题吗
Yeah, it's fine.
对啊 没事啊
Hey, can I borrow your sleep mask?
我能借一下你的眼罩吗
- You bet. - Awesome.
-当然 -太好了
Yes! I love that kid.
好耶 我太爱这孩子了
Can you imagine how easy it would be
如果我们只有这一个孩子
if it was just him?
生活该是多么轻松啊
I mean...
我是说...
I know what you mean.
我知道你的意思
You call that folded?
你觉得那样算叠好了吗
Where's that military precision?
军队级细致严谨的品格哪里去了
We didn't fold many onesies in the navy.
我们海军不用叠连体衣
I'm back!
我回来了
What did the doctor say?
医生怎么说
He said my eyes are perfect.
他说我的眼睛没问题
Where was he looking when he said it?
他说这话时眼睛看着哪里呢
Pretty sure Gloria needs glasses.
我确信歌洛莉亚需要配副眼镜
The last couple of months, she's been struggling.
过去几个月 她一直在挣扎
I'll take this one. It looks very good.
我要这个 看起来很不错
That's their address, Magoo.
那是他们的地址 老花眼
Did he even give you an eye test?
他有测试你的视力吗
He put the spoon in one eye,
他先拿勺子盖住一只眼睛
the spoon in the other eye,
然后又盖住另一只
The puff puff, the eye drops.
又拿眼药水滴了滴
20/20. Now who's the Magoo?
两眼都是完美的1.0 谁才是老花眼
What the hell language was that?
那是什么鸟语
Did you see that fresh coat of nail polish?
你看到她新做的指甲吗
She never went to the doctor.
她根本没去看医生
Why would she lie?
她为什么要撒谎
She's vain, Manny.
她很自负 曼尼
She doesn't want to wear glasses.
她不想戴眼镜
Well, she's only hurting herself.
那她只是在伤害她自己
- Okay, I hope you're hungry. - Starving.
-想必你一定饿了 -饿死了
That damn airline ran out of roast beef.
那架该死的航班没有烤牛肉了
Tried to fast talk me
还试图说服我
into eating something called "Hoo-mus."
吃什么"阴嘴豆泥"
Oh, hummus -- it's actually really delicious.
鹰嘴豆泥 其实非常美味
You would like tha-- uh. Oh.
你会喜欢...
- What's this? - Oh, uh, that's an action figure.
-这是什么 -是个玩偶
It's two grooms.
是一对新郎
They melted together in the car
有天骄阳似火 两个玩偶
on a very, very hot day.
在车里融化在一起了
It was 103.
那天43度
My daddies are getting married.
我的爹地们要结婚了
Your dads are getting married?
你的两位爸爸要结婚了吗
That can't be right.
这不科学啊
That's what my friend Keisha says.
我的朋友凯莎也这样说
Is this true?
是真的吗
Pam, honest to goodness, we were gonna tell you.
小帕 说实话 我们是打算告诉你的
Get over here, you!
你快过来
She's got me.
她抱住我了
Well, damn!
天啊
This is the greatest news I've ever heard!
这是我听过的最好的消息
Oh, I am so happy to hear you say that, Pam.
听你这样说我真高兴 小帕
Of course. Oh!
当然啦
I want my baby brother to be happy.
我想让我的小弟弟得到幸福
And as long as we're sharing, I have some news.
既然在分享好消息 我也有一个
You remember Bo Johnson?
你记得博·约翰逊吗
Oh, my gosh, how could I forget? Oh!
天啊 我怎么会忘记
He was my first crush.
他是我的第一个暗恋对象
Please tell me nothing happened to his face.
求你别告诉我他那张帅气的脸毁了
What did he fall into?
他摔在什么东西上了
He fell into me.
他和我摔入爱河了
We're engaged!
我们订婚了
- Say what? - Bo and I are getting married!
-你说什么 -博和我要结婚了
That is fantastic! Cam, isn't this great news?
太棒了 小卡 难道这不是好消息吗
Come here, you. Oh!
你快过来
Yeah. So great.
是啊 太棒了
Get in on this! Come on!
快来加入我 快
Thank you for jumping.
谢谢你跳起来
I didn't feel guilty for missing Luke's soccer tournament
我并不为错过卢克的足球比赛而内疚
because I had a ton of errands
因为我有一大堆家务事
I figured would take me all day to finish.
我觉得我得花一整天才能做完
But for some weird reason, I was flying through my list.
但不知为什么 事情办得相当顺利
I ended up in every short line.
我每次都排到最短的队
I made every green light.
路上也是一路绿灯
It was the ultimate karmic bitch-slap.
这真是报应
Because suddenly I had no more errands,
因为我突然无事可做了
which meant no more excuses,
也就是说没有借口了
which meant me at that boring soccer tournament.
我必须得去无聊的足球比赛了
Hi. There you are.
嗨 你来啦
Your son is playing so great.
你儿子踢得棒极了
- No, I'm Luke's mom. - No, I know.
-不 我是卢克的妈妈 -我知道
- He's been amazing all day. - Luke?
-他今天表现得非常好 -卢克吗
Oh! Luke?
卢克啊
Here, you want one?
来一杯吗
Uh, no, thanks. I'm coffeed out.
不用 谢谢 我今天喝过咖啡了
- Oh, honey, it's sangria. - Well, all right.
-亲爱的 这是桑格利亚酒 -好吧
[cheat一词多意: 作弊/劈腿]
Okay, that's it. Grandpa's cheating.
毋庸置疑了 外公在作弊
On Gloria?
对歌洛莉亚吗
How could he possibly do better?
他怎么可能找到个更性感的
No, not on Gloria -- on this game.
不 不是对歌洛莉亚 是这个游戏
I've never lost it to anyone.
我从来没输给谁过
Keep playing word games with grandpa,
继续和外公玩单词游戏
and you never will.
你永远都别想了[失去贞操]
Hey, girls!
姑娘们
Hey. What is that thing?
那东西是什么
What do they call it,
你是问它叫什么
or what should they have called it?
还是问它应该被叫做什么
- Never mind. - Uh, wait, wait, wait!
-不想知道了 -等等等等
It's a gutter cleaner.
这是清沟机
Ladies, I give you the future.
女士们 我向你们展示未来
How many times have you girls seen me fall off this ladder?
你们见过我多少次从梯子上摔下来啊
Now that's gonna happen less.
现在摔倒的次数会少一些了
Looks like your, uh,
看来你的
gutter cleaner is stuck on something.
清沟机卡在什么东西上了
Not a problem.
没关系
This baby detects blockage and then ramps up the power.
这神器能检测出堵塞物 然后加大功率
That's why I've nicknamed it "The gutter done."
所以我给它取了个外号 "一扫光"
- Dad! - Stop!
-爸爸 -停下
Sorry, it's such a missed opportunity.
抱歉 已经停不下来了
Aah! Oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god!
天啊 天啊 天啊
- What? What happened? - It's a bird's nest!
-怎么 出什么事了 -这是个鸟巢
- No! - And they're all dead!
-不是吧 -小鸟都死了
- Oh, my god! - You killed them!
-天啊 -你杀了它们
Honey, it wasn't me!
宝贝 凶手不是我
It was the robot!
而是机器人
Look at it.
瞧瞧它
It doesn't know!
它还浑然不知
I'm sorry!
对不起
Mom! Mom! Help!
妈妈 妈妈 来帮忙
What?! What happened?!
怎么了 出什么事了
- I just ate a handful of this rat poison. - Why?!
-我刚吃了一把老鼠药 -为什么
I thought it was trail mix.
我以为这是什锦干果仁
Why do I keep it so close together?
我怎么把它们放在一起了
I'll call 911!
我去叫救护车
Here, read the box!
给 读出盒子上的内容
Tell me what it says to do!
告诉我上面写着要怎么做
Hurry!
- It says... - I don't have much time!
-上面写着... -我没多少时间了
In the...
里面...
- And I'm dead. - What?
-我就这样死了 -什么
You'd rather kill your husband
你宁愿你老公被毒死
than admit you need glasses.
也不愿承认你需要戴眼镜
- Wow, mom. - It's not poison?
-妈 你真狠心 -这不是毒药吗
Oh, there's rat poison,
的确有老鼠药
and I do keep it dangerously close to the trail mix,
我也的确把它和什锦干果仁放得很近
but this was to point out
但这是为了指出
that your vanity could be fatal.
你的虚荣可能是致命的
I knew this was all a trick.
我就知道你们在骗我
That's why I acted like I couldn't read that box!
所以我才假装看不清盒子上的字
How many people have to pretend to die, Gloria?
有多少人会这么用心良苦假装死掉啊
It just doesn't make any sense.
这简直不合情理
Pam and Bo Johnson?
小帕和博·约翰逊
- My Bo Johnson? - "My"?
-我的博·约翰逊 -什么叫"我的"
Should it bother me that you're this jealous of an old crush?
你为旧情人这么吃醋 我该为此烦恼吗
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
别说傻话了
Bo is straight.
博是直男
He'd probably never go for me.
他可能永远不会爱上我
Oh, my gosh, it is Bo!
天啊 是博打来的
Look, he's hotter than ever.
瞧瞧 他比以前更帅了
- I'm gonna answer it. - No, you can't.
-我要接电话 -不行
Yes, I can. We're practically family.
我可以 我们也算是一家人了
Hey, dude. It's Cam.
喂 哥们 我是小卡
Where?
小卡在哪呢
Been good -- been real, real good.
挺不错的 非常非常好
So, you and Pam, huh?
你和小帕在一起了啊
Hey, better be good to my old sis,
你最好对我老姐好一点
or I'll have to wrestle you down.
不然我就把你摔倒在地
- Oh, my God. - Hey, question --
-天啊 -问你个问题
Do you still have that friendship bracelet that I made for you?
我给你做的友谊手镯你还留着吗
Oh, okay.
好吧
Yeah, okay, if you're busy, I'll have Pam call you back.
好吧 你先忙 我让小帕给你回电话
Hey, and, Bo, congratulations.
博 恭喜你啊
You too.
你也是
- Can you believe it? - Oh, and we're gay again.
-你能相信吗 -你又回归基佬啦
It just doesn't make sense.
这完全不合情理
I mean, he's got to be after our drilling rights.
他肯定是对我们的钻井权有企图
I knew it.
我就知道
This is why I didn't want to tell you.
所以我才不想告诉你
I knew you couldn't stand the thought
我知道你没法承受你的梦中情人
of me landing the man of your dreams!
被我搞定了的这个现实
"Dreams" is strong.
"梦中情人"这词太过了
Believe it or not, Bo and I are in love.
信不信由你 博和我真心相爱
He thinks I'm beautiful, and he's right.
他觉得我很漂亮 他是对的
And for the record, Bo has twice the land we do.
顺便说一句 博的土地是我们家的两倍大
He has absolutely no interest in my drilling rights!
他对我的钻井权绝对没有半点兴趣
Not that kind, at least.
至少不是那种"钻"井权
Okay, let's just relax.
好了 大家都淡定
Hey, hey, come on, Pam, do you want to pick me up again?
来吧 小帕 想再把我抱起来吗
- They warned me, you know. - Who warned you?
-他们警告过我 -谁警告过你
The whole family said you wouldn't take it well.
全家人都说你会接受不了这个现实
Ever since you moved to the city
自从你因为无法在农场存活
'cause you couldn't hack it on the farm.
而不得不搬到城里以后
- "Couldn't hack it"? - Yeah, that's right.
-"无法存活" -是的 没错
Everyone knows, Cam, you're not farm strong.
大家都知道 小卡 你不是农场强人
You take that back, Pameron Jessica Tucker!
收回你说的话 帕梅隆·杰西卡·塔克
I will not! You are weak and weepy.
我才不呢 你是个软弱的娘炮
That's why we can't ever say anything to you
所以我们什么都不敢告诉你
'cause we know you'll crumble into a big heaping mess!
因为我们知道你会反应过度闹个歇斯底里
Oh, are you saying I'm the one people have to step around --
你说我才是那个需要别人小心对待
that I'm the Pam of the family?
那个家里的爱哭鬼小帕吗
You mean the Cam of the family?!
你是说家里的爱哭鬼小卡吧
'cause that's what we all call it!
因为大家都这么叫你
Okay, that's enough!
好了 够了
That's enough! That's enough!
够了 够了
You know what? Well, I was gammy's favorite!
你知道吗 我可是奶奶的最爱
- That's enough! - Really?
-够了 -真的吗
- Yeah! - Come on! Enough!
-当然 -拜托 够了
No!
住嘴
Seriously -- Pameron?
帕"梅隆" 你家人都叫这名儿吗
Oh! Way to go, Luke!
好球 卢克
- The kid's amazing. - Amazing.
-这孩子太棒了 -太棒了
- So great. - Right? Hello?
-太厉害了 -是吧 喂
- Claire? - Phil?
-克莱尔 -菲尔
Oh, hi, honey, I was -- I was just about to call you.
亲爱的 我正想打给你呢
I killed a bunch of baby birds.
我弄死了一窝小鸟
- What? - My robot wiped out the nest.
-什么 -我的机器人把鸟窝给端了
And now the mom's just staring at me.
现在鸟妈妈正瞪着我呢
They recognize faces, you know.
它们能记住人的长相
I saw it in a documentary.
我在纪录片上看到过
Sweetie, I'm sure it was just an accident.
亲爱的 我相信那只是个意外而已
None of this would have happened
要是我们去看卢克的比赛
if we'd just gone to Luke's game.
就不会发生这种事情了
- We're terrible parents for not going. - No. No.
-我们这父母做得太差劲了 -不会
Was that a whistle? Where are you?
那是哨声吗 你在哪里
Um, I-I'm just walking by a construction site.
我刚路过一个建筑工地
Pervs!
变态
Sorry. Sorry. Not you.
对不起 对不起 没说你
I hope Luke's not mad at us.
但愿卢克不会怪我们
No, he's fine, honey.
不会 他没事的 亲爱的
Or he's not. He -- he could be mad.
也可能有事 也可能会怪我们
We don't know. We won't -- we won't know.
我们不知道 我们猜不到
I'll -- I'll be home soon, though.
我马上就回去了
I love you. Okay, bye-bye.
我爱你 好的 再见
Thank you. It was great.
谢谢你 棒极了
Hey, Luke, Luke, Luke,
卢克 卢克 卢克
Don't tell your dad I was here, all right? Great game.
别告诉你爸我来过 你踢得真棒
Claire?
克莱尔
Claire?
克莱尔
Say good night to daddy.
跟爸爸说晚安
Mwah! Good night, my boy.
晚安 好儿子
Hey, grandpa, great word you played earlier today.
外公 你今天早上拼的那个词不错啊
What does "Syzygy" even mean?
"朔望"到底是什么意思
It means 45 points. Ha!
意思是能得45分
Hey, everybody, you remember my sister, Pam.
大家好 你们还记得我姐小帕吧
Oh, hi, Pam.
小帕 你好
She's here to pay a visit and cast aspersions.
她来探望大家 顺便中伤你们几句
- Oh, grow up. - You grow up.
-别小孩子气了 -你才小孩子气
Real good one.
接得真好
Hi, y'all. I brought boar.
大家好 我带了野猪肉
Oh. Well, let me give you a hand with that.
我来帮你一起处理一下
Cam, look, I know you're upset,
小卡 听着 我知道你很生气
But please just try and let it go tonight.
不过今晚就尽量别计较这个了
Well, can you believe she said I'm the emotionally fragile one?
她竟然说我才是那个脆弱敏感的人
I mean, how crazy is that?
那简直是胡言乱语吧
- Boy. - "Boy"?
-天啊 -"天啊"
Is that your thinly veiled
你是在露骨地表明
way of saying you agree with her?
你赞成她的说法吗
Okay, you know what?
你听着
If I was fragile, I would care,
如果我很脆弱 我就会生气
but I'm not, so I don't.
可我没有 所以我不脆弱
- Good. - Good.
-好的 -好的
And you know what? That shirt washes you out,
还有你知道吗 这衬衫太难看了
so don't be shocked when someone mistakes you for a beige candle.
要是有人把你当成黄皮蜡烛可别怪人家
Hey, everyone.
大家好
- Hi, Luke. - Hey, buddy.
-你好 卢克 -你好啊 伙计
I'm so sorry I missed your game.
我很抱歉错过了你的比赛
We are both so sorry we missed your game.
我们都很抱歉错过了你的比赛
The universe punished me.
冥冥中我已经受到了惩罚
I did something awful to a bunch of baby crows.
我对一群小乌鸦做了非常可怕的事情
[murder(谋杀)是crows(乌鸦)的集体名词形式]
Actually, it's not a bunch of crows.
其实 那不叫"群鸦"
It's called a murder.
那该叫"群杀"
I know what I did!
我知道我做了什么
- How was your game? - Fine. Nothing special.
-比赛怎么样 -还行 没啥特别
What do you mean, "Fine, nothing special"?
你说"还行 没啥特别"是啥意思
Well, there was this girl on the 16-year-old team
好吧 其实16岁那组里有个妞
who wasn't wearing a bra.
没穿胸罩
So that was cool.
所以还挺不错的
But Josh's mom texted me.
可是乔什他妈给我发了短信
She said you were having a great game.
她说你踢得可好了
She drinks.
她喝多了
I-I'll be right back.
我马上就回来
- Hey, Phil. - Hey, Pam.
-你好 菲尔 -你好 小帕
Oh. Sorry.
不好意思
It's my parents again.
又是我爸妈
I'm getting married soon,
我快要结婚了
and they're already acting like they have empty nest syndrome.
他们现在就呈现空"巢"老人的症状了
I appreciate you not saying
我很感谢你
anything to your dad about me being there,
没跟你爸说我去看比赛的事
but why aren't you telling him what a great game you played?
可你为何不告诉他你在赛场上的精彩表现
I can tell he feels bad enough for missing it.
我能看出来他错过比赛已经很难过了
I don't want to make him feel worse.
我不想让他感觉更糟
I screwed up.
我搞砸了
Why? What's wrong?
怎么了 出什么事了
I talked Phil into skipping Luke's game,
我劝菲尔别去看卢克的比赛
and then I went, and, of course, he played the game of his life.
可是我去看了 他在赛场上发挥出色
But Luke doesn't want to
但现在卢克却不想
tell Phil about the game now
跟菲尔谈那场比赛的事了
because he doesn't want to hurt his feelings.
因为他不想伤害菲尔的感情
Oh, well, I think it's sweet that Luke's protecting Phil.
我觉得卢克护着他爸的做法很有爱
You know, we all have to protect my sister in my family
在我们家 我们都得护着我姐姐
because she's a disaster.
因为她敏感得可怕
I mean, you can see it, right?
你能看得出来 对吧
I think it was a little weird she brought pig to a party.
我觉得她带猪肉来参加派对是挺奇葩的
Hey! I can say it.
只有我能说我姐姐
Hey, hon.
亲爱的
I'm sorry about what I did before.
我为我之前的行为向你道歉
I saw this, and I thought it would look beautiful on you.
我看到了这个 我觉得你戴上一定好看
You know I can't stay mad at you
你知道我就是不能生你的气
when you buy me...
尤其是你给我买...
glasses, you son of a bitch!
眼镜 你这个混蛋
Just try 'em on. You'll still look gorgeous.
戴上试试 你看起来还是会很迷人的
I will try them on when you buy hearing aids!
你买助听器那天我会戴上的
There's nothing wrong with my hearing.
我的听力没什么问题啊
Um, I have a, uh, hearing-test app on my phone.
我手机上有一款测试听力的应用
Let's do it!
我们测测看
- You do it! - Okay.
-你来测 -好的
Everybody under the age of 60 should be able to hear this.
60岁以下的人应该都能听到这个声音
- Yes. Heard that. - Yeah, definitely.
-没错 听到了 -很清楚
What? You're lying. You didn't hear anything.
什么 你们撒谎 你们根本什么都没听着
We did! You see, you're deaf!
我们听见了 看到没 你聋了
Okay, 70.
好的 70岁以下的
Mm-hmm. Yes.
听见了
Oh, what is th-- did she put you up to this?
这是什么 是她让你们这么做的吗
Here, grandpa, I'll play you something even louder.
这样 外公 我放个声音大点儿的
Okay, I heard that one.
好的 这回我听见了
I didn't press anything.
我什么都没按
Oh, look who's a cheater.
看啊 谁作弊了啊
Don't worry about it, big guy.
不用担心 老大
I have trouble smelling lemons.
我闻不到柠檬的"酸味儿"
You know, I don't need any of this.
我受够了
But I'll tell you what I can hear loud and clear.
不过 我可以告诉你们我能听清楚什么
The sound of you all munching free food.
那就是你们蹭饭时吧嗒嘴的声音
Oh, come on, dad,
拜托 爸
aren't you being a little oversensitive?
你是不是有点儿过于敏感了
Oh, well, we can consult my sister, Pam.
这个问题可以请教我姐 小帕
She's the self-appointed sensitivity expert.
她自诩为"敏感学"专家
- Oh, let it go. - I will not let it go.
-别计较了吧 -我就要计较
In fact, I would like
其实 我正想
everyone to be honest with me, please, right now.
让大家现在对我说实话
No sugar-coating.
不用客气
My sister here seems to think you all
我姐姐似乎觉得你们大家
- have to walk on eggshells around me. - Eggshells.
-对我说话就得如履蛋壳 小心翼翼 -蛋壳
Do you all think I'm so fragile
你们是否觉得我很脆弱
you can't tell me things
因为害怕我反应过度
for fear of how I will react?
而不敢告诉我一些事
- Well. - Claire, don't. Zip. Bup-bup-bup.
-这个嘛 -克莱尔 打住 闭嘴
No, let her talk, please.
不 请让她说
Claire, you have the floor.
克莱尔 请发言
W-well, you're not not fragile.
好吧 你并不是不脆弱
Okay, well, why don't you give me an example
好吧 你不如举个例子
of something you haven't told me
说件因为担心我无法接受
because you were worried I couldn't handle it?
而没有告诉我的事
Go on.
说吧
All right.
好的
Last week when we were supposed to have lunch
上周我们本来约好吃午饭
and you canceled...
你取消了
Beyonce was at the restaurant.
碧昂丝也在那餐厅
Okay. The singer or Pepper's dog?
好吧 是歌手碧昂丝还是胡娇的狗
The singer.
歌手碧昂丝
And when I was leaving,
我离开餐厅时
I-I-I stopped and I said hello to her
停在她身边打了个招呼
and we chatted for like 10 minutes.
我们大概聊了十分钟
Okay, that's great.
好的 那真是太棒了
I'm glad you had that experience?
我很高兴你有这样的经历
I mean, I don't know what you talked to her about,
只是我不知道你跟她有什么好聊的
seeing that you don't know any of her songs
因为她的歌你基本一无所知
other than "Single ladies,"
除了《单身女人》
Which everyone knows.
那是众人皆知的口水歌
- I love that song. - I'm surprised you can hear it.
-我爱那首歌 -我很意外你还听得到
Well, this was fun. Who's hungry?
真有意思 谁饿了
Hey, where's that boar?
那只小公猪呢
Okay, anyone else?
还有人要说吗
Well, since we're coming clean,
既然把话说开了
you overuse the word "Divine."
你太滥用"非凡"这个词了
It's just an ice-cream sandwich.
只是一个冰淇淋三明治而已
You're the boy who cried "Divine."
你却哭着喊着说"非凡"
Okay. Was not aware of that.
好吧 以前我没注意到
- Duly noted. - Hey, I got one.
-知道了 -我有话说
Remember that blue rotary phone you gave me for Christmas?
还记得圣诞节时你送我的蓝色盘式电话吗
- Yes. - I tossed it.
-记得 -我扔了
Okay. May I ask the reason?
好的 可以问下原因吗
It made me feel like
让我觉得自己像
Ann-Margret in "Bye-bye Birdie."
《再见小鸟》里的安-玛格丽特
- Why?! - Okay, anyone else?
-为何又要提到鸟 -还有人要说吗
I don't really like the
我不喜欢
- shirts with the crazy cuffs. - Oh, I'm sorry.
-袖口这么夸张的衬衫 -不好意思
Can you push your boobs down?
你能把胸部压下去吗
Because I couldn't hear you.
因为我听不到你说话
- Here we go. - No, no, here we don't go.
-又来了 -不 没有来
This is fine. I'm fine, okay?
没事 我没事 好吗
Sometimes when you read to me,
有时候你给我读睡前故事
I pretend to fall asleep so you'll go.
我会假装睡着让你走
I heard that one.
我听到声音了
Well, I heard you all loud and clear.
你们的话我全听得一清二楚
I have to use the restroom.
我得去洗手间
So, Cam, you're sensitive.
小卡 你很敏感又如何
Big deal. It's one of your best qualities.
有什么关系 这是你的优点之一
Thank you, Phil,
谢谢你 菲尔
and I'm sorry your Beyonce-loving wife
很抱歉你那喜欢碧昂丝的老婆
went to Luke's game without you.
去看了卢克的比赛没带你
See? Farm strong!
看见没 农场强人
You went to Luke's game?
你去看了卢克的比赛吗
I did, Phil, and I am so sorry.
我去了 菲尔 真是对不起
I did not mean to.
我本来没想去的
But then he started playing the most amazing game,
但他的表现太精彩了
and I got so wrapped up in it.
然后我就舍不得走了
I know I should have called.
我知道我应该打电话
Yeah, you should've called.
对 你应该打电话
You were amazing?
你很厉害吗
Oh, he was incredible. I wish you'd been there.
他太棒了 你要是去了就好了
Then why'd you make me skip it?!
那你为什么不让我去看
I knew you had it in you!
我就知道你有天赋
Oh, coach said he's gonna start next week.
教练说他下周就能开球了
You're starting? I'm so mad at you!
你要开球吗 我太生你的气了
I'm so proud of you!
我真为你骄傲
- Hey, how are you doing in here? - Fine.
-你还好吗 -很好
I'm a little embarrassed about my outburst,
我刚才发脾气 现在有些不好意思
but otherwise...
不过...
You had a lot to take in.
你一下子要接受的东西太多了
As a lawyer, I should've told you,
作为律师 我应该早告诉你
never ask questions you don't want the answer to.
永远不要问不想知道答案的问题
Am I really that much of a mess?
我真的有那么糟吗
Are you not listening to me?
你没有听到我说的话吗
- Hey. Room in here for me? - Not really.
-有我站的地方吗 -不多
Look, I'm real sorry I said what I said.
我为我说的话真心道歉
No, no, you're right.
不 你说得对
I am the Cam of the family.
我是"家里的爱哭鬼小卡"
Apparently, I'm the Cam of two families, so...
显然 我现在是"两个家里的小卡"
So what if you go a little cuckoo
你听到坏消息时
when you get bad news?
会反应过度又怎么了
You also go all cuckoo when you hear good news.
你听到好消息时也会反应过度
It's one of the things I love most about you.
这是我最喜欢你的一点
No, that's -- that's true.
不 这是真的
You're the -- you're the first person I call
我有好消息时 总是第一个
when I have good news.
打电话给你
I mean, remember when I got my adult braces removed?
还记得我取下成人牙箍吗
Your teeth look divi-- divine.
你的牙齿看起来真是美得非凡
See? I can't help it. I'm a celebrator.
瞧 我也没办法 我就是天生乱激动
Of course you are.
你当然是的
And I should have celebrated how lucky Bo is
我应该庆祝博那么幸运
to land a great gal like you.
能找到你这么好的女人
Look at me. I'm crying like a Cam.
瞧我 哭得跟小卡一样
Sorry, old habits.
抱歉 不好的旧习惯
- Are you mad because I embarrassed you? - Forget about it.
-我让你出丑你生气了吗 -别说了
And I'm gonna ease up on the glasses, too.
我也不会逼你戴眼镜了
It's just that I worry, you know,
我只是担心
you're not seeing everything.
你什么也看不到
I'm getting old, Jay.
我老了 杰
When Manny was little,
曼尼小时候
I used to run around with him all day
我总是整天跟着他跑
without getting tired.
一点也不累
Today at Joe's baby class,
今天在乔的幼教班上
a 6-year-old had to pull me out of the ball pit.
一个6岁的孩子得把我从球池里拉出来
Hold on. Manny used to run around?
慢着 以前曼尼喜欢乱跑吗
All the mothers are so young and perky.
所有的妈妈都那么年轻神气
I hate being the oldest one there.
我讨厌做那里最老的一个
Well, I for one love that you're getting older.
我恰恰喜欢你变老
It makes me feel closer to you.
让我觉得和你更亲近了
So you'll like it if I get all wrinkly and saggy?
就算我长皱纹皮肤松弛了你也会喜欢吗
Well, I wouldn't make it a goal.
我可不会说非要那样才好
Okay, I'll wear them.
好吧 我戴眼镜
What?
怎么了
Nothing.
没什么
You have lines there.
你这里有皱纹
I can see them very clearly now with these --
我现在可以看得非常清楚
Okay, okay, these are just for reading.
阅读的时候戴就可以了
I won't be able to hear her.
我听不见她唠叨
She won't be able to see me.
她看不见我的皱纹
We'll be together forever.
我们会恩爱到永远
Congratulations.
恭喜啦
You officially beat me in "Words with friends."
你正式在"和朋友比拼写"中赢了我
Better luck next time, kid.
下次好运 孩子
Okay, I have to ask -- did you cheat?
我一定得问下 你作弊了吗
Is that how you won?
你是这样才赢的吗
I never took you for a sore loser.
我从来不觉得你是个输不起的人
That's not an answer.
这不是答案
Listen, one day you might be the smartest person in this family,
听着 以后你可能是这个家最聪明的人
but today is not that day.
但那一天还没有到来
So tread lightly before you assiduously malign
所以在你竭力污蔑我的词源学
the veracity of my etymological prowess.
知识渊博的真实性前 三思而后说
Jay Pritchett out.
杰·普里契特不玩了
You broke your phone, smarty-pants.
你把手机摔坏了 自以为是先生
Damn it!
该死