摩登家庭 第五季 Modern Family Season 5 第6集: The Help

上映日期: 2,013

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 詹姆斯·R·巴格多纳斯

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·安德森-埃蒙斯


台词
No begging. No begging.
不准祈求 不准装可怜
Stella, you're breaking my heart here.
斯黛拉 你让我心碎了
What's breaking your heart is that sausage and bacon.
让你心碎的是香肠和培根
Can't you just pick one?
你就不能只吃一种吗
Don't worry. I'm gonna burn it off
别担心 我会在高尔夫球场上
on the golf course.
消耗掉热量的
How, Jay?
怎么消耗 杰
By riding the little cart
坐在高尔夫球车上消耗
or by kicking the ball back into play?
还是靠把球踢回场内
Here. I'm gonna take Joe Fulgencio to the park.
拿着 我要带乔·弗汉希欧去公园
Can you please stop by the grocery store?
你能去超市买点东西吗
Why doesn't the nanny do this?
为什么不让保姆去
You got to be kidding me!
你逗我呢吧
Gloria has fired five nannies.
歌洛莉亚已经开除五个保姆了
I don't like another woman in my house.
我不希望我家里有别的女人
I want to be the star.
我要当唯一的明星
Stars have nannies.
明星都有保姆
You know that some of this is Manny's fault.
你知道这里面多少有曼尼的错
Manny!
曼尼
So, Marie, what do you feel like doing for dinner tonight?
玛丽 你今天晚餐想做什么
You're eating Dyno-Bites
你晚上就吃麦片吧
because you are a little boy.
因为你还是个小屁孩
Mom!
老妈
I'm telling you, there's an embarrassing
我告诉你 这孩子以后将会
press conference in that kid's future.
面临一场难堪的记者招待会
We're getting married in seven months.
我们要在七个月后结婚
Or eight months.
或者八个月后
I worry about it raining in april.
我担心四月份总是阴雨绵绵
Well, I worry about me sweating in may.
我担心五月天热会出汗
Oh, well, we can't decide on anything.
我们什么都定不下来
There -- there are too many choices.
有 有太多选择了
Fortunately, one of our best friends
幸运的是 我们的一个好朋友
is an event planner.
是活动策划人
- Pepper! - Pepper!
-胡娇 -胡娇
*Here come the grooms*
*新郎驾到*
*All dressed in fun tuxes from my Pepper collection*
*身着我的胡娇系列无尾礼服*
Ha, wow -- look at all your ideas.
哇塞 瞧瞧你这一堆创意
Honey, this is just the index.
亲爱的 这些只是目录
Ronaldo!
罗纳多
I brought linens and place settings
我带来了多种桌布 餐具
and invitations and stemware.
请帖 还有高脚杯
Hello. I'm Ronaldo.
你们好 我是罗纳多
Oh, don't be such a chatterbox.
别跟个话闸子似的
And go and fetch the platter box.
去把装餐盘的闸子拿来
Now, let's lose this couch.
把这张沙发拖走吧
Wow, you need that much space, huh?
你需要那么大地方吗
No, it's hideous.
不是 因为太丑了
This can't be news to you.
这话你们肯定不是头一回听吧
家 庭
摩 登
第五季 第六集
You're ruining my life!
你毁了我的生活
These eggs are delicious.
这鸡蛋很好吃啊
What life?! Get out of my room!
你有生活吗 从我的房间滚出去
I put milk in them.
我在里面加了牛奶
It's not your room anymore!
这已经不是你的房间了
Well, they sure are fluffy.
口感非常松软
Mom!
- Hey, dad. - Morning, troops.
-早上好老爸 -早上好 伙计们
Claire, I owe you a pack of lady razors.
克莱尔 我欠你一盒女士剃刀
I'm just gonna go stand out in the yard.
我要去院子里待一会儿
Seriously, get out!
真的 快滚出去
I told you it's not your room!
我说过了 这不是你的房间
Tension between Haley and Alex
海莉跟艾丽克斯的关系
has been getting pretty high,
最近非常紧张
so our solution was to move Haley down to the basement,
所以我们本来要让海莉搬到地下室
which we were just about to do --
但当我们刚打算实施时
When my dad came out for a weekend visit.
我爸爸来跟我们共度周末
Two weekends ago.
两周前就来了
After my mom passed away,
我妈妈去世后
he dated this woman named Annie,
他开始跟名叫安妮的女人交往
and she broke up with him,
后来她跟我爸分手
and then he seemed kind of down,
我爸现在情绪有些低落
so I invited him out.
所以我邀他过来
Gross! Those are my socks!
太恶心了 那是我的袜子
They are not! Mom!
才不是 妈
I'm just gonna pop outside.
我要出去待会儿
I should get her a rake.
我该给她买把耙子
Welcome to King's landing!
欢迎来到君临城
I am the evil boy king,
我是邪恶的小国王
and I want your heads!
现在我要取了你们的首级
Oh, look how much they all love you.
瞧瞧他们多喜欢你啊
Ohh, thanks.
谢谢
I'm just trying to match the energy
我只是想跟孩子们的电子游戏
of their video games and whosits and whatnots.
还有猜猜我是谁之类的游戏较较劲
So, I'm gonna play tennis.
我要去打网球了
I can pick you up at noon.
中午来接你
- Oh, hi! Joan, right? - Yes.
-你好 你是琼对吧 -对
Hi. I'm Andy.
你好 我叫安迪
I'm her manny -- male nanny.
我是她的"曼尼" 就是男保姆的意思
Hi, I'm Gloria.
你好 我叫歌洛莉亚
This might just sound a little crazy,
我说这话可能有点神经质
but I don't think Joan likes me.
但我觉得琼好像不喜欢我
Oh, that's not crazy. She doesn't.
这不是神经质 她确实不喜欢你
Her husband's always staring at you,
她丈夫总是盯着你看
and she's worried you're gonna steal him.
她担心你会抢了她老公
- What?! - Be happy, little guy.
-什么 -开心点 小家伙
This world belongs to you.
这个世界属于你
I would never steal anybody else's man,
我才不会抢别人的男人
especially not her fat husband.
特别是她那个胖老公
Hey, he's not fat anymore.
他现在一点也不胖了
I helped him lose 30 pounds.
我帮他减了30磅
Thank you, Andy.
谢谢你 安迪
Careful.
小心
If I bring you home scratched,
你要是受点小伤
I lose my deposit.
我的保证金就没了
I'm kind of a chef, too.
我略懂一些烹饪
Here, try this.
来 尝尝这个
It's quinoa.
这是藜麥做的
You actually burn calories while eating I--
消化它的过程就能消耗卡路里
So, Andy, tell me,
安迪 告诉我
are you really happy with that Joan?
你在琼家干得开心吗
Every wedding is unique, like a snowflake.
每场婚礼都别具一格 宛如每一片雪花
And my job is to give you
而我的任务就是为你们
the snowflake that makes everyone die with jealousy.
打造一片让每个人羡慕嫉妒恨的雪花
That's all we ever wanted.
我们要的就是这个效果
So, let's start with a color palette.
那么我们先从配色开始吧
I'm thinking...
容我为你呈上
Purple.
浓情深紫
- Purple! That is a color! - Wow!
-深紫 这颜色还真是 -哇
We don't love -- yeah, we don't love purple.
我们不太 不太喜欢深紫
Not our favorite, but...
不是我们的最爱 不过
- Excuse me? - Well, it's just that purple
-什么 -深紫有点
might be a little bit bold for --
太过火了
No, I get it. You think I'm an idiot.
不 我懂 你当我是白痴对吧
- No. No! - No, we don't, Pepper.
-没有 -不是那个意思 胡娇
Well, obviously, you know better than I.
你俩显然比我在行多了
After all, I've only put on
毕竟 我只帮人策划过
hundreds of magnificent weddings.
数百场梦幻婚礼而已
Come, Ronaldo.
走吧 罗纳多
They're not interested in planning a wedding.
人家小两口不在乎婚礼策划
They're interested in hurting people.
只喜欢糟蹋别人的心
No, Pepper. Pepper, wait.
别走啊 胡娇 等一下
No, Pepper, wait. Listen. No, no.
别这样 胡娇 听我说
We can consider purple.
我们可以考虑一下深紫色
This is just a lot for us to take in.
我们只是一下子接受不了而已
Of course. I get it. I...
那是自然 我明白了 我
Let the idea wash over you for a bit.
就让这个方案好好浸淫一下你们吧
We had also discussed a more neutral palette.
我们也可以考虑更素净的配色
Ronaldo! They're washing!
罗纳多 人家正浸淫着呢
I'm sorry. He means well.
不好意思哦 他其实人不坏
Now, let's talk about your entrance.
现在 来谈谈你俩的出场方式
Yes. Entrance.
太好了 出场方式
The idea of two men being able to marry
两个男人能够共结连理
seemed like a fantasy,
堪称是一场童话传奇
so I see you riding down the purple aisle
所以我设想你俩是这样走上紫色长毯的
on a...
共同骑在一匹
...unicorn.
独角兽上
Are you sure, grandpa? It might be fun.
爷爷 你确定吗 会挺好玩的哦
Sorry, Luke. I just don't think I have it in me today.
抱歉 卢克 我今天实在没这个心情
Did you see that?
你瞧见了没
When has your dad ever
你爸什么时候
not wanted to pull Luke's finger?
拒绝过和卢克玩拉手指放屁的游戏
He's hurting, Phil.
他心里难过着呢 菲尔
I think he needs to see a therapist.
他应该去看看心理医生
Claire, he doesn't need a therapist.
克莱尔 我爸才不需要心理医生呢
Why? Honey, that's what they do.
为什么 老公 医生就是干这个的
They help people cope with loss.
专门帮人治疗情伤
They'll even come to the house if we need them to.
如果实在需要 他们甚至会上门服务
I should talk to my dad. You know what?
我应该请教一下我爸 知道吗
He was pretty down after the divorce.
离婚之后他的心情也一度低沉
- I bet he has some insight. - Yeah, 'cause your dad's
-他肯定有办法 -是吗 因为你爸
so in touch with people's feelings?
十分通情达理 善解人意吗
When a man is overcome with emotion
当人家被席琳·迪翁的演唱会
at a Celine Dion concert,
深深打动时
- you do not tell him to grow a pair! - Phil!
-他不该要人家硬气一点 -菲尔
The ship went down, but their love lasts forever!
泰坦尼克虽沉 人间真爱永存
Dad? Hi.
老爸 你好啊
Yeah, listen. Uh, Frank is really depressed.
我说 弗兰克最近心情不好
I think he should see a therapist.
我觉得他应该找个心理医生
- What do you say? - He doesn't need any of that!
-你觉得呢 -他才不需要那玩意呢
Yeah? Uh-huh. T-that's exactly what I said.
对吧 我也是这么说的
- Give me that. - I-I...
-电话给我 -我
Jay, what did you just say?
杰 你刚才说什么
Take him out and meet some women.
带他出去 认识几个妹子
1,000 therapists couldn't do what Gloria did for me.
一千个医生也抵不上歌洛莉亚对我的治疗
Oh, I agree. Claire was wrong.
我同意 克莱尔她说错了
I'll tell you what. I know a fun place.
告诉你 我知道个不错的地方
Tonight, you, me, and Frank out on the town.
今晚 你我和弗兰克一起出去找点乐子
Oh, fun! A three-way!
太好了 我们三人行耶
I already regret this.
话一出口我已经后悔了
Well, I'm excited, too. I got to get going, though.
我也很期待 不过我得先挂了
All right. Bye.
回见 拜
Gloria, we're back!
歌洛莉亚 我们回来了
Here! Let me lighten your load.
来来来 让我帮你拿这个
- Who are you? - I'm the new manny.
-你是谁呀 -我是新来的"曼尼"
Am I being replaced?
你是来取代我的吗
Jay, Manny, meet Joe's new manny, Andy.
杰 曼尼 快来见见乔的新保姆安迪
- Can I talk to you a second? -No, thank you.
-我能借一步说话吗 -谢谢 不能
We're gonna need to discuss this.
我们应该好好商量一下这事
I get it. I understand it's a big decision.
我明白 这个决定事关重大
But if it eases your mind at all,
如果能让你放心一点的话
know that I'm not just here for baby Joe.
我不光是来照顾宝宝乔的
I'm here for you, too.
我也是来照顾你们的
Doesn't ease my mind at all.
这话可一点没让我放心
My mission is to make all of your lives
我的任务就是让你们全家
happier and healthier.
过得更开心 活得更健康
Is this because I ate that party sub?
难道是因为我吃掉了那条巨型三明治吗
Ohh! Crackers!
哎呀 该死
I left my phone upstairs in the nursery.
我把电话落在育婴房里了
Could you grab it for me?
你能去帮我拿一下吗
I know people get all squirrelly
我能理解人们在听到"健康"二字时
when they hear the word "Healthy."
做出的奇怪反应
Actually, Manny? My phone is in my pocket.
其实 曼尼 手机在我兜里呢
Sorry, bud.
不好意思 哥们
But my goal is to get you healthy without --
我的目标是让你们在不经意间...
Nope!
不对
It is just a pack of gum.
我兜里这个是一包口香糖
My phone is still upstairs.
手机还在楼上
-- without you even realizing what's happening.
就变得健康起来
Wow. I'm such a dodo.
我真是后知后觉
I didn't even bring my phone today.
我今天根本就没带手机
I know what you're doing.
我知道你在干什么
We are gonna talk about it.
这事我们得商量一下
Okay, well, you have my number, so I can start tomorrow.
你有我的号码 我明天就可以开始工作
- Call me. - I will!
-打给我 -我会的
Take care!
保重
That's a nonstarter. Keep looking.
这个人不行 继续找吧
But he's perfect.
可是他很完美
He's a man. It's weird.
他是男的 这很怪异
He's a weird man.
他是个怪异的男人
He's like Phil, only I have to pay for him.
就像菲尔 唯一区别是我还得付他钱
This is not a dictatorship! It's a democracy!
家里不是某人独裁的 是民主的
We vote!
投票决定
No way. You always bully Manny, and he caves.
不行 你总威吓曼尼让他屈服
He's weak.
他很懦弱
No offense.
无意冒犯
Whoever thinks that we should hire Andy,
所有觉得我们应该雇用安迪的人
raise the hand!
举手
No, sorry, mom. Not this time.
不行 对不起 妈妈 这回不行
I can't have that energy in my house.
我不想在家里承受这种压力
Fine. Cook your own dinner!
好吧 那你们自己做饭吃吧
We will. We'll be fine.
行 我们没问题
So, what are we having?
那我们今晚吃什么
You're on your own, kid. I'm going out tonight.
孩子 你得靠你自己 我今晚要出去
So, what do you think?
你们觉得怎么样
I like it.
我喜欢这个
[《查理巧克力工厂》中的工厂主人]
Also, is it a little Willy Wonka?
不过 这个是不是有点儿像威利·旺卡
You're tired. I'll come back tomorrow
你们一定是累了 我等明天
when you're ready to be more constructive.
你们可以接受建设性意见的时候再来
- Pepper, no. - Pepper.
-胡娇 别走 -胡娇
Ronaldo, strike this.
罗纳多 我们撤
Sorry. I thought I was wearing a cape today.
抱歉 我还以为我今天穿着斗篷来的
Oh. Oh, my gosh.
我的上帝
Ohh. What are we gonna do?
我们怎么办呐
I-I think we have to fire Pepper.
我觉得我们得炒了胡娇
That would kill him.
他会伤心至死的
- He's on the brink as it is. - Why?
-他已经在崩溃的边缘了 -怎么了
[8号提案: 剥夺同性情侣结婚的权利]
Since the proposition ocho was overturned,
自从加州8号提案被推翻后
he's done 50 gay weddings.
他已经办了50场同性婚礼
The man is exhausted, searching for new ideas.
这男人为了新创意搜肠刮肚 耗尽心力
You said "Ocho"
你刚说了西语的"8"
and then you said "50."
然后又说了英语的"50"
You see? Gays are so nit-picky.
看到没 基佬们总是这么挑剔
In a straight wedding,
办异性婚礼
you just have to please the bride,
你只要尽力讨好新娘就行了
But the gays have such strong opinions!
但基佬们个个极具个性
It takes a toll on a great artist
这让胡娇·萨尔茨曼这种伟大的
like Pepper Saltzman.
艺术家感到很受伤
You know, I've never thought of it that way.
我还从来没有从这个角度思考过
I mean, look at us. We can't agree on one thing.
看看我们 我们自己都无法达成一致
No, you're right.
没错 你说得对
I mean, Cam wants a rustic country theme,
小卡想要一种乡村风格的主题
and I'm looking for something
而我则寻求一种
a little more contemporary and sophisticated.
略带现代感并精致的东西
And it's impossible.
这根本就没法统一
But you can have both.
但两种风格可以兼而有之
Casual elegance, classic with a twist.
写意的典雅 在经典的基础上略作改变
Go on.
继续说
I'd start with raw, natural-linen table runners
我会先用未经加工的天然亚麻长条桌布
to bring the two worlds together.
将两个世界连接在一起
We eschew the classic round tables
我们用带有农场特色的长方形桌面
for rectangular farm tables,
来避开经典圆形桌面的俗套
but keep the setting clean and modern.
但桌上的摆设要具有简洁的现代感
And then...
然后
Yes!
说啊
No, I mustn't. This is wrong.
不行 我不能这样 这样做不对
Pepper is my boss and my mentor!
胡娇是我的老板 我的良师
Oh, and he's our friend. What are we doing?
他还是我们的朋友 我们在干什么
We -- we got caught up. We gave in to temptation.
我们被迷惑了 我们没能抵抗住诱惑
I-I should go.
我得走了
- Don't! - I must.
-别走 -我必须走
Vintage handkerchiefs for the guests to cry into.
用复古的手绢给泪流成海的宾客拭泪
Ronaldo, wait!
罗纳多 等等
French bistro stemless wine glasses.
用法式小酒馆那种带柄的红酒杯
I've said too much.
我已经说了太多了
Ronaldo!
罗纳多
He's gone, Cam.
他走了 小卡
Guys, we can't stand around all night.
伙计们 我们不能整晚都这么站着
At some point, we have to talk to somebody.
我们总得找个人搭讪
Now, come on. How about those two?
快点 那边那两位怎么样
Let's go over there.
我们过去吧
Oh, my god. I don't know why I'm so nervous.
天呐 我不知道自己为什么这么紧张
- Hello, ladies. - Not interested.
-你们好 女士们 -没兴趣
Wow. I-I just said hello.
我不过打声招呼而已
We're just kind of having a girls' night.
我们这是闺蜜间的小聚
Kathy, be nice. I'm marcy.
凯西 友善些 我是玛希
I'm Jay. This is Frank and, uh, Phil.
我是杰 这是弗兰克和菲尔
Hey-lo. I mean hey. Or hello.
嗨好 我是想说你好 或者嗨
I don't know.
我也不知道
And for the record, i just wanted to introduce my friend.
声明一下 我只想给你们介绍我的朋友
I wasn't trying to pick you up or anything.
我可没想跟你搭讪或是怎样
I'm heartbroken.
可真让我伤心
We don't mean to disturb you.
我们并不想打扰你们
Oh, you're not disturbing us.
你们没有打扰到我们
You have sweet eyes.
你的眼睛真漂亮
Thank you. I'm from Florida.
谢谢 我来自弗罗里达
I love Florida!
我超爱弗罗里达的
Would you like to sit down, Frank?
要不要坐下一起聊 弗兰克
Well, I, uh -- yeah, sure.
这个嘛 好吧
Oh, my god. It's happening.
天啊 他真的要勾搭上女人了
For your information, I'm married to a gorgeous woman.
我告诉你 我老婆可是个大美女
Dad, Jay and I
爸 杰和我
- are gonna grab a drink from the bar. - Sure.
-去吧台买杯喝的 -没问题
I think I have a picture of her here on this somewhere.
我手机里应该有她的照片
Let’s go, Jay.
杰 我们走吧
Yeah, she won beauty pageants.
她还赢过选美大赛呢
Okay. I'm a catch.
我可是很抢手的
Let's get out of here. This place is dead, anyway.
我们赶紧走吧 这地方已经没意思了
Hey, there's Casanova!
风流小子回家啦
I didn't hear you come in last night.
我昨晚都没听见你回来
So -- so, uh, how did it go with Marcy?
你后来和玛希怎么样
Oh, it was okay.
还行吧
But I actually met someone else
但后来我打车的时候
while I was waiting for a taxi.
又遇到了别人
Well, all right.
是吗
And she's downstairs right now.
她现在就在楼下呢
Well, all right.
那好啊
Truth is, I, um, have a bit of a situation.
实际上 我碰上点小麻烦
She says I owe her $500.
她说我欠她五百美金
Please tell me you broke something of hers.
拜托你告诉我这是因为你弄伤了她
No, turns out she's a hooker.
不是 原来她是个妓女
You picked up a hooker?
你找了个妓女
Well, I didn't know she was a hooker.
我当时不知道她是妓女
We're in my kitchen. We have to stop saying "Hooker"!
别在我家厨房里再提"妓女"这个词了
You got to get her out of here
你得在克莱尔练瑜伽回来前
before Claire gets back from yoga.
把那女的弄出去
She's not gonna leave until she gets the cash.
不给钱她就不走
$500? I think you got ripped off.
五百美金吗 你被坑了吧
- Hey, can I have a hit of that coffee? - Oh, that's fine.
-喝口你的咖啡成吗 -好吧
Trust me. He did not get ripped off.
相信我 我绝对没坑他
No, that's good. It's yours.
没事 你留着吧
$247. I'm gonna have to run to an atm.
这只有247块 我还得去取钱
How could you not know?!
你怎么会没看出来呢
Well, the drinks, the flirting.
又喝酒呀又调戏呀
I couldn't think straight.
就有点晕晕乎乎的嘛
Have you ever touched the smooth,
你有没有摸过48岁女人的
taut skin of a 48-year-old woman?
光滑柔软的皮肤
I hope to one day,
我希望有一天能摸到
but that's not gonna happen if Claire gets home and --
但要是克莱尔回来发现...
Hi! I'm back!
我回来啦
Frank, did you have fun last night?
弗兰克 昨天晚上玩得爽吗
No. He did not.
不 一点儿都不爽
Hey. Who's the woman in the kitchen?
厨房里那女的是谁啊
Beats me. I think I'll go freshen up.
我哪儿知道 我去洗脸刷牙了
There's a woman in the kitchen?
厨房里有个女的吗
There's a woman in the kitchen. Yeah, she's a therapist.
对 是有个女的 她是个心理医生
The therapist that you recommended.
就是你推荐我爸看的心理医生
So I decided it was a good idea.
我觉得是个好主意
Oh, that means the world that you listened to me.
你能接受我的建议我真是太开心了
- Thank you! - Ohh, you should get a shower upstairs.
-你真贴心 -要不你先洗个澡
Oh, no, I want to say hi.
不 我要去打个招呼
No, not sweaty like that.
你浑身都是汗
You smell.
一身臭汗味
No, uh...
别这样
Hi! Hi, I'm Claire.
你好 我是克莱尔
I'm Frank's daughter-in-law,
我是弗兰克的儿媳妇
and I just want to thank you so much
我就是想感谢你
for coming and helping him out this way.
过来这样帮助了他
- It was my idea. - No, it wasn't.
-这是我出的主意 -不是的
- Okay. - All right.
-好吧 -行了
No, hey. I've never told anyone this,
我从没和别人说起过
but I have always wanted to do what you do.
但我一直想从事你的工作
I think I'd be really good at it.
我觉得我会挺在行的
- No, she wouldn't. - What are you talking about?
-不 她不会的 -你说什么呢
It's basically what I already do for the whole neighborhood.
我本来也已经在这样造福全社区了
At least this way, I get paid for it.
像你这样的话我还能挣点钱
You know, I got a standing 10:30 I got to get to.
我十点半还有约 我得走了
- Yes. Yes, you do! - Mom, I'm gonna throw up!
-是得走 快走 -妈 我要吐了
Alex’s hair smells like cheese!
艾丽克斯的头发闻起来像奶酪
It is not cheese!
不是奶酪
It is cruelty-free organic shampoo
是不用动物做实验的有机洗发水
with traces of churned goat's milk!
里面加了一些搅拌过的羊奶
So cheese!
所以就是奶酪
Ew, I need a bucket!
恶心死了 给我个桶来吐一下
Ladies, we have a guest.
女孩们 家里有客人
I am -- I'm really sorry about this.
真是对不起
I'm just at my wit's end with these two.
我就是拿她们两个没办法
I don't suppose you have any experience with teenagers?
你有没有处理青年人的经验啊
Oh, no.
别说了
You two remind me of me and my sister.
你们两个让我想起我和我妹妹
We used to fight all the time.
我们以前总是吵架
I used to accuse her of stealing my boyfriend.
我说她抢我男友
She would accuse me of trying to stab her.
她说我要把她捅死
- You know, sister stuff. - Oh, my god.
-就是姐妹那些事儿 -天哪
Trust me, if I wanted to stab her,
相信我 老娘要是想捅死她
that skank be stabbed.
那骚货早就被捅死了
She's not a therapist, is she?
她不是心理医生对吗
Just...
别听了
I didn't sleep a wink.
我就没怎么合眼
I-I cannot stop thinking about Ronaldo.
我无法控制自己不去想罗纳多
I know.
我也是
I dreamt our wedding made
我梦见我们的婚礼登上
the cover of Modern Gay Grooms
《摩登同性婚礼》杂志封面了
and that there was a magazine called Modern Gay Grooms.
还梦见确实有《摩登同性婚礼》这本杂志
Okay, that's -- that's Pepper.
是胡娇
Let's just ask him to let Ronaldo take the lead.
就跟他说让罗纳多来主持策划好了
And -- and risk hurting Pepper?
然后承担伤害胡娇的风险么
For all we know,
可是据我们所知
Ronaldo hasn't even given us a second thought.
罗纳多根本不想为了我们背叛胡娇
I couldn't stop thinking about you.
我无法控制自己不去想你们
What happened here yesterday was real.
昨天这里发生的一切都是真情实意
Oh, Ronaldo! We felt it, too.
罗纳多 我们也感受到了
But what about Pepper?
但胡娇怎么办
- I left him. - What?
-我离开他了 -什么
It's over. He doesn't look at me the way you do.
都结束了 他不像你们这样看重我
Ohh, this is all happening so fast.
这一切来得太突然了
For me, too.
我也这样觉得
But my heart was racing when I left here.
但昨天离开时我的心跳得好快
You are my muses-es.
你们是我的缪斯女神
Ohh. I feel so guilty.
我感觉好内疚
One quick look. No one has to know.
快速瞟一眼 没人会知道
Oh, Ronaldo, what have you done?
罗纳多 你都做了些什么
Mitchell! Cameron!
米奇尔 卡梅隆
- Oh, no! - Uh, uh, quick! Hide!
-天哪 -快 藏起来
Yeah, yeah, yeah! I'll hide.
好的 我藏起来
- Cam, not you. - Okay, yeah. Go, go, go, go, go.
-小卡 不是你 -快进去 快去
Ronaldo left me.
罗纳多离开我了
- What?! No! - The swine!
-什么 不可能 -那个小人
Someone put it in his head that he could do this without me.
有人告诉他说 他没了我也照样能行
But mark my words, I will destroy him
但是你们听好了 我会毁了他
and whatever wedding he thinks he's planning.
毁了那个他在筹办的婚礼
Okay, well, that's one way to go.
好吧 那是一种办法
Daddies, there's a man in the bathroom.
大爸二爸 洗手间有个人
- What? - That -- that's a Wiggles song.
-什么 -那是首儿歌
That's a Wiggles song.
是首儿歌
*Daddy, there's a man in the bathroom*
*爸爸 洗手间有个人*
*There's a man in the bathroom*
*洗手间有个人*
It's okay, honey. It's okay.
没事的宝贝 没事
*He's in the shower*
*他在洗澡*
Ronaldo was nothing before I found him,
在我发掘他以前 罗纳多什么都不是
living in squalor in a dump barely bigger than this.
住在一个比这里大不了多少的垃圾堆里
How could he do this to me?
他怎么能这样对我
Because you never listen to anybody!
因为你从来都听不进去别人的话
I have good ideas, but you're too thick-headed to hear them!
我有好的点子 但你却笨到听不进去
Ronaldo, how did you get here?
罗纳多 你怎么在这里
It was you two. You plotted against me.
是你们俩 你们两个暗算我
I bet that's not even a Wiggles song, is it?
刚才那根本不是儿歌 对不对
- Is it?! - No.
-对不对 -不是
Pepper, we can explain.
胡娇 我们可以解释
Do you have any idea how hard I work?
你们知道我有多努力吗
Well, maybe that's part of the problem.
也许那正是你的问题之一
I mean, you've been through the mill, Pepper.
我是说 你饱尝辛酸 胡娇
Heard it.
别吐槽
I've done 53 gay weddings.
我策划过53场同性婚礼
And... none of them are mine.
没有一场是我自己的
Ohh. Pepper.
胡娇
And whose fault is that?
这又是谁的错呢
I feel like you're implying mine,
你好像在说这是我的错
but I really don't see it.
但我真的不这么认为
How can a man with such flare for setting tables
一个如此会布置餐桌的人
leave no seat for one who loves him?!
怎么会不给爱他的人留个位置呢
- Oh, my god. - Ronaldo's in love with Pepper.
-天哪 -罗纳多爱上胡娇了
I know. That's why I said, "Oh, my god."
对啊 所以我才说"天哪"
Pepper, do you hear what Ronaldo is saying?
胡娇 你听到罗纳多说的话了么
Of course I do. I'm not a fool.
当然听到了 我又不是傻子
He thinks I can't set a table.
他认为我不会布置餐桌
No. No, no, no.
不 不不不
Ronaldo is in love with you. Go to him.
罗纳多爱上你了 快过去
What?
什么
You're in love with me?
你爱上我了
Si. It is true. Yes.
是的 是真的
God, that would drive me crazy.
天哪 那会让我疯掉的
Ronaldo, I-I don't know what to say.
罗纳多 我不知该说什么
I mean, of course, when I hired you,
当然 我雇你的时候
I found you very attractive.
我认为你很有吸引力
That's why I hire all my people.
那是我雇佣任何一个人的原因
But I...
但我
I never thought you...
我从没想过
would find me...
你会认为我...
Perfecto?
很完美吗
Because that's what you are -- perfect.
因为你就是那样的 完美无暇
No. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I can't.
不 我走了 走了 受不了了
Gloria, I forgot my towel!
歌洛莉亚 我忘拿毛巾了
Here it is. Nice and toasty from the dryer.
给 热气腾腾刚烘干的
Gloria!
歌洛莉亚
She ran to the store. Breakfast in 5.
她去买东西了 早餐五分钟就好
Your underpants are pressed and on your bed.
内裤已经熨好并放在你床上了
Gloria!
歌洛莉亚
So, if I'm hearing you right, you're not so much mad
所以 如果我理解得没错的话
about the prostitute in the kitchen
比起厨房里的妓女
as you are about my lying to you.
你更为我对你说谎而生气
No, I'm mad about the prostitute in the kitchen.
不 我生气是因为厨房里有个妓女
Hmm. That's my bad.
那是我的错
Yes, it is. It's your bad, Frank. Very bad.
是的 是你的错 弗兰克 非常错
Look, I'm a progressive woman.
听着 我是一个进步女性
I-I took a pole-dancing class.
我上过钢管舞课程
I sent my daughter to college with condoms.
我送女儿去大学时会给她带避孕套
Wait, now, I think that sends the wrong message.
等等 我认为那样反而会让她产生误解
- Thank you very much. - No! You don't get to judge!
-多谢支持 -你没资格评论
I...Frank, I'm --
我 弗兰克 我
I know you're upset about Annie breaking up with you.
我知道安妮和你分手让你很伤心
Wait, Annie didn't break up with me.
等等 安妮没有和我分手
I broke up with her.
是我提的分手
- W-what? - Why? I thought she was so great!
-什么 -为什么 她不是很好吗
Well, I got scared. I didn't know how to...
我感到很恐惧 我不知道应该怎么
be with another woman.
和另一个女人相处
I thought your mother and I would be together forever.
我曾以为会永远和你母亲在一起
Ah... I'm sorry, dad.
我很遗憾 老爸
I never would have gone through with it last night,
我从没想过要发生昨晚这样的事
but, uh, Jeannie was so nice and professional.
但是 珍妮人很好 很专业
Well, thank you, Frank.
谢谢你了 弗兰克
And for what it's worth,
还有 不得不说
you got nothing to be nervous about.
你没有什么好担心的
You were wonderful.
你很棒
Really? You think so?
真的 你真的这么认为
Yeah.
真的
If you love that woman, you should go get her back.
如果你爱那个女人 就去把她追回来
She'll be lucky to have you.
她和你在一起会很幸福
Seriously, I see a lot of guys your age.
真的 我见过很多你这个年龄的
Most of them can barely --
大部分几乎都
Okay. Let's get you in that cab.
行了 我们送你上出租车
I love your kids.
我超爱你家小孩
That Alex is like a little me.
艾丽克斯跟我小时候超像
- Yeah! - Oh, My God.
-是吗 -我的老天爷啊
Good morning, boss, junior boss.
早上好 老板 小老板
Grab a seat and check it out.
坐下尝尝这个
Egg-white omelet, high-protein smoothies,
煎蛋清卷 高蛋白奶昔
then I thought we could put on our running shoes and go...
吃完我们可以穿上运动鞋去
I need to cut you off right there, chief.
不得不打断你 朋友
Seems my wife overstepped her bounds.
看来是我妻子越界了
- Now, you seem like a nice guy. - Thanks.
-你看起来是个好小伙 -谢谢
But I don't think you're the best fit for this house.
但我并不认为你适合在我家干活儿
- Are -- are you serious? - I'm afraid so.
-你 你是认真的吗 -恐怕是的
Okay.
好吧
It was the underpants, wasn't it?
是因为我给你熨了内裤 是吗
That didn't help.
有这个原因
Man, I came on too strong. Gosh dang it!
我做得太过了 该死
My dad warned me about that when I turned 14.
在我14岁时我爸就警告过我
He said, "Son, you're about to be the man of the family.
他说 "孩子 你将成为一家之主
You got to learn to give people time
你得给别人一些时间
to see how special you are."
来看到你的好"
Why were you the man of the family?
为什么你是一家之主
- He sort of died. - How?
-他去世了 -因为什么呢
I don't want to bring you down, little man.
我不想让你不开心 小鬼
Neither did my dad.
我爸当初也一样
He'd say, "My disease can't be all bad
他说 "我的病和'答案'的发音押韵
if it rhymes with 'answer.'"
因此也不全是坏事"
Those are the flaxseed muffins that I just baked.
我烤的亚麻籽松饼好了
I'll just take them out and get out of here.
我把它们拿出来就走
Andy, wait.
安迪 等等
We're never gonna eat them.
我们不会吃的
Well, then... I'm sorry it didn't work out.
那么 好吧 抱歉我没有做好
What didn't work out?
什么没做好
My mission here.
我在这里的使命
It was really nice to meet you, though, Mrs. P.
真的很高兴认识你 普夫人
You didn't even give him a chance.
你连一个机会都不给他
We took a vote, mom.
我们投过票了的 妈妈
You got to respect the vote.
你得尊重投票
No! You make me hire these nannies that I don't like.
不 你让我雇那些我不喜欢的保姆
But when I find one that I like, you fire him?!
现在我找到一个喜欢的 你又要辞了他
I am the one that spends most of the time around here!
我才是在这屋子里花时间最多的人
SO I GET TO PICK!
所以该由我来决定
Sometimes the louder we are, the less we're heard.
有些时候我们的声音越大 越不被理解
- You're frustrated right now, aren't you? - Yes.
-你现在很沮丧 对吗 -没错
Because you feel like they're not hearing you.
因为你觉得他们不理解你
Yes.
没错
Well, that's exactly how they feel.
这也正是他们的感受
I'm sorry that I ignored your feelings.
抱歉我忽略了你们的感受
I promise that I will try not to yell so much.
我保证不会再这样咆哮了
- You're hired. - What?!
-你被录用了 -什么
You better drink that smoothie. We're going on a run!
你最好喝了那奶昔 我们要去跑步了
This isn't over.
这事儿还没完
Life isn't easy.
生活并不容易
Sometimes we just need a little help,
有时我们只是需要一点点帮助
getting your confidence back,
来重拾自信
getting on the same page,
来达成一致
getting out of your own way,
来释放自己
or just getting moving.
或者就是运动起来
And I'm pleased as punch to be the one --
我很高兴来做这个帮手
Okay, this is tough enough without all the yammering!
够了 你不念叨都够累了
Sorry.
抱歉
What would you like to dance to?
你想要什么伴舞音乐
I have to tell you we have to have some sort of square dancing.
我得告诉你 我们要跳方块舞
We're not doing country.
不要放乡村音乐
No square dancing. We're not.
不要方块舞 不要
There will be no hoedown tonight. Pepper and I are on...
今晚不会有方块舞舞会 胡娇和我
My family is going to throw a fit.
我的家人会大发脾气
- They'll riot. - We're not getting married for them.
-他们会捣乱 -我们不是为他们而婚
We're getting married for us.
我们是为自己结婚
And I think we have a decorative cake out front,
我觉得我们应该有一个多层裱花蛋糕
and then we have sheet cakes in the back.
再在后面放一个单层蛋糕
Oh, I see! Is that the theme you're going for
我知道你想要什么主题了
-- tacky?!
土气主题
Sheet -- like a sheet.
"单层的" 像床单那样铺开的
Oh, "Sheet."
"单层的"啊
I thought he said "Chic cake."
我还以为你说的是"花哨的"
All of my cakes are chic.
我的蛋糕都很花哨