摩登家庭 第五季 Modern Family Season 5 第7集: A Fair to Remember

上映日期: 2,013

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 詹姆斯·R·巴格多纳斯

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·安德森-埃蒙斯


台词
I’m sure how mom and dad are surprised
相信爸妈看到我们送上的
by the anniversary breakfast we’re bringing to them.
结婚纪念日早餐一定会十分惊喜
I hate to walk in if they are naked.
我不想走进去看到他们两个光溜溜的
Yes, that kind of image could haunt someone
是啊 即便几年过去 每当夜不能寐
if she tries to sleep even years later.
那画面总是在脑海中挥之不去
Oh, relax. I think you are safe.
放松点啦 你们安全了
Or are they?
是吗
It’s our 20th anniversary,
今天是我们结婚20周年纪念日
so today at the school fair,
所以在今天的学校园游会上
a band called the Dad Beats
一个名叫节奏老爹的乐队将以
is gonna surprise Claire with a power love ballad.
一首动感的浪漫民谣给克莱尔一个惊喜
And the lead singer -- you might want to sit down --
而乐队主唱 你最好坐下来
is the one and only --
就是独一无二的
get up on your feet! -- this guy!
还是站起来吧 就是这个人
*She's a pretty sight*
*她貌美如天仙*
*Wise as a buddha*
*智慧比佛祖*
*But, brother, watch that bite*
*但是哥们 小心她咬你*
*’cause she's a Claire-acuda*
*因为她是克莱尔小怪兽*
Or maybe an existing song.
要不还是别唱原创歌曲了
Thank you.
谢谢
家 庭
摩 登
第五季 第七集
Do you want to get your face painted
想不想在脸上画上
like a pretty butterfly?
美丽的蝴蝶
No. I'm just not in the mood.
不想 我没那心情
Lily, what about you?
莉莉 你呢
You know what?
知道吗
Maybe I will have them paint
我可以让他们画
"Worst coach ever" on my forehead.
"史上最差教练"几个字在我额头上
Cam's coaching freshman football,
小卡最近在教新生打橄榄球
and his team's losing,
但他的球队总是输
and it's making him, uh, a little tense.
这让他有点紧张焦虑
Run, run!
快跑 快跑
Protect it like it's your baby!
像保护你的孩子一样护着球
You dropped your baby!
你把你的孩子弄丢了
You dropped your baby!
你丢了你的孩子
They're running away with your baby!
他们抱着你的孩子跑了
Go get your baby!
快去抢你的孩子
That's the worst call since
这裁判比选罗素·高尔
they cast Russell Crowe in "Les Mis,"
出演《悲惨世界》的人还差劲
right there!
就在那啊
You see the way everyone's glaring at me?
你看到大家是怎么瞪我的吗
- No. - Like a big loser coach.
-没有 -好像我是个窝囊教练
All in your head.
都是你自己瞎想罢了
I'm the Hester Prynne of freshman football.
我就是新生橄榄球队的海丝特·白兰
I may as well have a
我不如在衬衫上绣一个
scarlet "L" sewn on my shirt.
猩红色的"L"好了[Loser: 废物]
[ABC台情景喜剧《拉芙妮与雪莉》中的人物]
Well, then, everyone would think you're Laverne.
那大家会以为你是拉芙妮
Coach Tucker.
塔克教练
That was a tough loss last night.
昨晚输得很惨啊
Yeah, yeah. Sure was.
是啊 确实很惨
I feel your frustration. Sure do.
我知道你很失望 肯定的
Uh, Mitchell, this is John. He's Trevor's dad.
米奇尔 这是特雷弗的爸爸约翰
- Sorry. - Star running back.
-抱歉 -明星跑卫
Well, maybe not for long.
恐怕打不了多久了
I'm seriously thinking about pulling him from the team.
我正在考虑让他退队
What? Why?
什么 为什么
'cause trevor's getting killed out there.
因为特雷弗总是被拦截抢球
You got no one to block for him.
你没安排人为他阻截对手
I-I hear what you're saying, and you're not wrong,
我明白你的意思了 你说得没错
but give me a little time.
但给我一点时间
You got one week.
给你一星期
Well, that is not appropriate fair behavior at all.
在园游会上这样太不合适了
You know what might make you feel better?
你知道什么能让你开心点吗
Gathering my team and putting the fear of God in them.
召集球队 让队员心中充满对神的敬畏
I was gonna say a churro.
我本来要说的是西班牙油条
I can do both!
我可以两个一起来
She's a mess.
她真是一团糟
Girl...
丫头
Hey, hey, lead foot, easy on the turns!
快车手 转弯时悠着点
I worked hours on this cake.
这蛋糕我做了好几个小时呢
You're sure you want to do this?
你确定要去吗
I'm going to win the cake contest,
我要拿下蛋糕比赛
and then there'll be no stopping me.
这样再也没什么能阻止我了
From what? A beating?
阻止你什么 被揍一顿吗
First-place ribbons earn respect, Jay.
冠军绶带会赢得尊重的 杰
Not if your competition's
但如果跟你竞争的是一群
a bunch of old ladies and weirdos.
老女人和怪胎就没这效果了
Could you just be nice?
你就不能友善一点吗
You didn't seem to care
你吃他练习做的那些蛋糕时
when you were eating all his practice cake.
好像一点也不在乎啊
Finally.
总算有车位了
What are you gonna do, pal?!
你打算怎么办啊 伙计
About to ask you the same thing.
我也正想问你呢
Did you not see my blinker?
你没看到我的指示灯吗
- Nope. - Then you're blind, 'cause it's on.
-没 -那你就是瞎了 灯还在闪呢
Looking at you, I'm guessing it was on the whole way here.
看你这样 我估计一整路都闪着呢吧
I got all day and satellite radio.
我车上有卫星广播 我能跟你耗一整天
I don't care if parking here is on your bucket list.
我才不管把车停在这里是不是你的遗愿
I've got two books on tape, a space blanket,
我有两本有声书 一条太空毯
and a protein bar in the glove box.
手套箱里还有一整根能量棒
I will sleep here if I have to.
有必要的话 我就睡在这里
We're not moving.
我们坚决不动
Ay, but we are.
随便你 但我俩要走了
Let's go, Manny.
走吧 曼尼
- Who are you? - Oh, my god!
-你是谁 -老天啊
You scared the hell out of me!
你把我吓尿了
Okay, language. There's a baby in the house.
注意用语哦 家里有个小宝宝呢
Uh, that baby happens to be my uncle.
那宝宝是我舅舅
Which one are you?
那你是哪个
You need to tell Mr. P you broke one of his beers.
你得告诉普先生你打碎了他的一瓶啤酒
I'm Alex. Who are you?
我是艾丽克斯 你是谁
I’m their Manny.
我是他们的男保姆[曼尼]
Nice try.
得了吧
I know their Manny, and you look nothing like him.
我认识他家的曼尼 你和他一点也不像
Oh, you're Haley.
你是海莉
I'm their male nanny, Andy.
我是他家的男保姆 安迪
You really need to move.
你真的得挪个位了
Okay, well, I'll be out by the pool.
好吧 我去泳池边了
What? Nope!
什么 不行
No, no, no.
不行
Not without permission, you're not.
没允许的话就不行
- I'm gonna call Mr. and Mrs. P. - Oh, wait!
-我要给普先生和太太打电话 -等等
Um...seriously, Mandy, do you, uh --
说真的 曼迪 你...
do you really have to do that?
你真的非得那样做吗
I see what you're doing.
我知道你在耍什么把戏
Don't bother,
别费心了
because I have a girlfriend
我在犹他有个
of eight years back in Utah.
交往了八年的女友[八岁的女友]
That's pretty young, but I guess they do things
她真幼齿 但我想那边的作风
differently over there.
也许不同吧
She's my age,
她和我一般年纪
and we're engaged... to be engaged.
我们订婚了 就要订婚了
It's -- it's a pre-engagement.
这叫提前订婚
She's in the coast guard.
她是海岸警卫队的
- In Utah? - Yeah.
-在犹他州吗 -是啊
It's the largest salt lake in the western hemisphere.
那里有西半球最大的咸水湖
Oh, good. She's protecting our lake.
很不错 她在保护我们的湖哎
I'll be out by the pool.
我去泳池边啦
Your boss is calling you.
你老板在召唤你
Hey! There she is.
这位美女在这里啊
Yeah, I'm not giving you any money.
我不会给你钱的
I don't need your money -- I need advice...
我不要你的钱 我需要的是建议
about a girl.
关于一个女孩的
Gross, but I'm intrigued, so talk.
真恶心 但我很感兴趣 说吧
Alex. Hey, Girlita.
艾丽克斯 闺蜜
Sienna...girl!
西恩娜 闺蜜
Sienna is amazing -- stylish, worldly --
西恩娜太棒了 她时髦 善于处世
and she's so new to our school, she doesn't even realize
她刚刚来我们学校 还没意识到
that I'm a full social class below her.
我比她低一个社会阶级
I need to cement the friendship
我需要在她发现学校有自助餐厅前
before she finds out we have a cafeteria.
巩固我们的友谊
I've been looking all over for you.
我到处在找你
Uh, this is my little brother, Luke.
这是我弟弟 卢克
He wants advice on some lame crush he has.
他想要一些建议 因为他迷上了个女孩
That's huge.
这可是大事啊
So huge.
超级重大
So, Luke, who is this mystery woman?
卢克 这个神秘的女孩是谁
Um...just some girl.
就是一个普通的女生啦
And her name is Sienna.
她的名字是西恩娜
You know, Manny, I'm just gonna say this one last time.
曼尼 我只说最后一遍
- I doubt that. - Give me that.
-我深表怀疑 -给我
You want to fit in?
你想更合群吗
You're not doing yourself any favors
靠这个蛋糕比赛
with this cake contest.
可帮不了你什么忙
I don't know. Chefs get all the girls.
不一定 厨师很能吸引女性
You're a baker.
你就是个烤蛋糕的
Bakers are girls --
烤蛋糕的都是女的
[都是蛋糕店品牌]
Betty Crocker, Mrs. Fields, Little Debbie.
贝蒂·克罗克 菲尔斯太太 小黛比
What about the Pillsbury Doughboy?
那面团宝宝呢
That's a good one, Manny!
回得好 曼尼
Well, well, well. Jay Pritchett.
瞧瞧是谁 杰·普里契特
Nice of you to finally show up.
你总算来了啊
- What's happening? - You're an official fair cop.
-什么情况 -你是官方公正警察
- Your wife volunteered you. - Gloria!
-你妻子给你报了名 -歌洛莉亚
I love you! Have fun!
我爱你 玩得开心哦
- What is this? - It's for charity.
-这是什么玩意 -这是为了慈善事业
People pay for you to arrest
人们付钱给你 让你去
and throw somebody in jail for 10 minutes.
把坏人抓进监狱蹲10分钟
And here comes your partner.
这是你的搭档
What's up?
你好啊
Oh, hell, no. I'm not working with this clown.
该死 我可不要和这个小丑合作
Hey, who are you calling a clown, bucket list?
你叫谁小丑呢 遗愿清单
I see you two have already met.
看来你俩已经见过面了
That was my space and you know it.
是我先把车开进车位的 你心里清楚
Tell it to my car. You know where to find it.
跟我的车去说吧 你知道上哪去找
Hey, enough of you two squabbling.
够了 你俩别吵了
I've got the PTA breathing down my neck.
家庭教师协会盯着我呢
Just pin these on and get to work.
把这个别上 然后开始工作
Nope. Can't do the badge. Sorry.
不行 我不能别警徽 抱歉
My wife just bought me this shirt,
我妻子刚给我买了这件衬衫
and if I ruin it, she'll kill me.
如果我弄坏了它 她会杀了我的
You're afraid you'll ruin your blouse.
你害怕自己会弄坏你的女式衬衫啊
It's not a blouse! It's a shirt.
这不是女式衬衫 而是衬衫
She bought it at the men's department, so it's a shirt.
她在男装部买的 所以是衬衫
Here's your first arrest.
这是你们第一个要逮捕的人
She's over at the Dizzy Dragon.
她在头晕龙游戏区
Word on the midway is she's tougher than she looks.
提示一下 听说她比看上去更强硬
- Think you can handle it? - Why couldn't I handle it?
-你们能应付吗 -我为什么不能应付
'Cause she's your daughter.
因为她是你女儿
Hello?
Oh, hi, Mr. Chang. Yeah.
常先生 你好
What do you mean you're at the house already?
你说你已经到我家了是什么意思
You're not supposed to be there for another two hours.
你们应该两小时后才过去的啊
I have a long history of giving Phil
过去我一直送给菲尔
bad anniversary gifts,
糟糕的结婚纪念礼物
but this year, I have planned something amazing.
但今年 我计划了超棒的礼物
The traditional 20th gift is china,
传统的结婚20周年纪念礼物是瓷器
but what am I gonna do, give him a plate?
但我要怎么办 难道送他一个盘子吗
I already did that.
我已经送过了
[人猿星球]
Okay, bye.
好 拜拜
Honey, um, what do you say we pack it in and go home?
亲爱的 我们收拾收拾回家吧
What? No. I mean, we just got here.
什么 不行 我们才刚到
I haven't even whacked a mole yet.
我还没玩敲鼹鼠游戏呢
I know, but I just got off the Ferris wheel,
我知道 但我刚从摩天轮上下来
and I'm feeling really queasy.
我现在觉得特别恶心
But you're gonna miss the Dad Beats.
但你要错过节奏老爹乐队表演了
No way. Come on.
那可不行 来吧
Let's get you a fried pickle!
去给你买个炸酸黄瓜
Phil, I might throw up.
菲尔 我会吐出来的
No one throws up until I sing.
我没开唱前谁都不会吐
Phil, we got to go. We got to go home now.
菲尔 我们得走了 现在就回家
Sure. Why not? Nothing keeping you here.
行 好吧 又没什么把你困在这里
Why are you acting weird?
你怎么行为这么怪异
I'm not acting weird.
我没行为怪异啊
Got her.
抓住她了
Ma'am, I am afraid you are under arrest.
女士 你被捕了
Uh, no. Dad, tell him I can't do this right now.
不 爸 告诉他我现在没空玩这游戏
Come on. Please.
别这样 拜托了
Go ahead. Read her the charges.
来吧 读读她的罪状
Can't do this.
我读不出口
All right. Let's see.
好吧 我们来看看
You have been charged with unlawful sexiness
你被控告非法性感
and possession of a hot booty.
及屁屁火辣
That is wrong.
这太恶心了
- Guilty as charged. - Stop it!
-罪名成立 -别闹了
All right, 10 minutes in the slammer.
行了 去监狱里蹲10分钟
No, I can't.
不行 我不能
I don't have time for this. Phil!
我没时间玩游戏 菲尔
Oh, my god!
我的天
What are you doing, perv?!
你干什么呢 变态
Getting proof of where the two missing beers went.
为消失的两瓶啤酒留下罪证
You can't drink that out here.
你不能在这外边喝酒
Hmm. Let's see if you're right.
我们来看看你说得对不对
Mm, no.
不对
Okay, well, you're in a pool zone,
好吧 你在泳池区
and that is glass, so that's not safe.
啤酒瓶是玻璃做的 这不安全
It's dangerous.
很危险
What is with you and your girlfriend protecting water?
你和你女朋友怎么都这么热衷保护水源
Okay, just --
好吧
If you just -- no -- no, uh, uh!
你给我...不 不
Oh! D-- ahh! D-d-- oh, dilly!
该...该死
Well, now you've done it.
这可是你干的
You're gonna have to climb in there
你得爬进去把泳池里
and get all the glass out of the pool.
所有的玻璃渣找出来
Um, I just got my hair straightened,
我刚把头发拉直
so that's not gonna happen.
所以我是不可能下水的
I hate to go all ballistic,
我讨厌发脾气
but it has not been a pleasure meeting you.
但认识你真不是件愉快的事
Do you kiss your imaginary girlfriend with that mouth?
你用那张嘴亲你的假想女友吗
I do, but she's real. So, she's a real girl.
对 但她真实存在 她是个真姑娘
It all comes down to one thing, gentlemen --
这一切都归结于一件事 先生们
focus...
专注
and teamwork and heart!
还有团队合作和用心
You see this mallet?
你们看到这根木锤了吗
Think I can swing this here mallet with one finger?
你们觉得我能用一根手指转动这根木锤吗
No! I need my whole team!
不能 我需要整个团队
Because when you're functioning and working as a team,
因为当你们作为一个团队行动和工作时
gentlemen, look out!
先生们 看好了
Sassy granny?
狂野老太婆
Yeah, sassy granny.
是的 狂野老太婆
Yes, exactly.
是的 完全正确
Because that is what you all played like last night --
因为这就是你们昨晚在赛场上的表现
is a bunch of sassy grannies.
一群狂野老太婆
But we're gonna bust our humps this week,
但是这个星期我们要竭尽全力
and we're gonna get out there,
我们要冲上赛场
and we're gonna play like a bunch of...
打起比赛来要像一群...
Girly men. Got it.
娘娘腔 明白了
Okay, you know what? Is this thing plugged in?
好吧 那什么 这东西插上电源了吗
It's not electric.
这机器不需要电源
I think it was made in the 1800s.
好像是19世纪制造的
Okay, well, that's my point.
好的 这就是我要说的
This is outdated.
这机器过时了
This is offensive,
而且很无礼
because girls are athletes, too.
因为姑娘们也可以是运动员
So, in conclusion...
所以 结论就是
if you want to win football games,
如果你想赢得一场橄榄球赛
we got to go out there and play like a...
就得走上赛场 打比赛要像...
What is daddy doing?
大爸在干吗
Daddy's smashing his demons.
大爸在痛击他的恶魔
Oh, like the ones you vacuum up at home?
就像你在家用吸尘器吸除的那些东西吗
Yeah, yeah. Like that.
对 对 就是那样
Mm! Damn. Near miss.
该死 就差一点儿
Why the hell are you so dressed up for a school fair, anyway?
你为什么为了个校园活动盛装打扮
How is this dressed up?!
这怎么叫盛装打扮
I'm -- why?
我...为什么这么说
Because my shirt has buttons?
因为我的衬衫有扣子吗
What's that fabric? Is that silk?
这是什么面料 是丝绸吗
Get your vanilla fingers away from my shirt!
别用你那沾满冰激凌的手指碰我的衬衫
- Blouse. - Okay...
-女士衬衫 -好吧
You want to talk about clothes? Let's talk about clothes.
你想谈衣服是吗 那我们就谈谈衣服
Let's go. Let's see.
谈吧 来看看
You look like some kind of old, washed-up golf pro
你穿得像个年老过气的高尔夫球手
who drank his way off the tour
一路比赛一路买醉
and is one step away from writing a suicide note
就差拿支小铅笔
with one of them little pencils.
写自杀遗书了
Sorry. I didn't mean that.
对不起 我不是那个意思
You wouldn't have said it if you didn't mean it.
你要不是那个意思就不会那么说了
I don't have the body to wear the clothes they make today,
我没有穿时髦衣服的身材
so I dress comfortable.
所以我挑舒服的穿
You're in shape, man.
你身材很好啊 伙计
What are you? Late 50s?
你有多大 50多吗
Come on. You know I'm not.
别开玩笑了 明显不是
I'm serious, man.
我说真的 伙计
Y-you look like you live at the gym.
你看起来像常驻健身房的
- I do some walking. - Yeah?
-我偶尔散步 -是吧
Pritchett, Williams,
普里契特 威廉姆斯
got another arrest over by the Ferris wheel.
摩天轮那里有个人需要拘捕
On it.
收到
Here we go.
我们走
Why'd we throw out the ice cream?
为什么要把冰激凌扔了
We got plenty of time.
我们有的是时间
Seeing Manny up there
看着曼尼在那
with the misfits and their crazy cakes,
跟那些怪人和他们的怪蛋糕在一起
I started to wonder if Jay was right.
我开始怀疑杰可能是对的
Maybe Manny would fit in better
要是曼尼更像其他男孩那样
if he was more like the other boys.
也许他能更合群
And maybe I needed to give him a little push.
也许我需要帮他一把
I saw you.
我全看见了
县监狱
All right, young lady.
好了 小姑娘
You're under arrest.
你被捕了
- What? - You have the right to remain silent.
-什么 -你有权保持沉默
Good luck with that.
祝你好运
Grandpa!
爷爷
Sorry, honey. Part of the job.
抱歉 孙女 职责所在
Out of the way!
让开点
Let's go.
我们走吧
Who did this?!
这是谁干的
Hmm. I guess it's just you and me.
看来只剩我们两个了
My cake! Somebody ruined it!
我的蛋糕 有人把它毁了
Who would do that?!
谁会这么干
Ay! Manny, how terrible. All your hard work.
曼尼 太可怕了 你的心血啊
Oh, well. Let's go ride the rides.
算了 那我们去玩吧
No, no, no. Mom, I know who did it.
不不 妈妈 我知道是谁干的
Oh, you do?
真的吗
It was Enid.
是伊妮德
Ah. Look at her.
看看她
You can see the hate in her eyes.
你能看到她眼中的愤恨
The minute she saw this, she felt threatened.
她一看到我的蛋糕 就感到了威胁
She's cold as ice.
这个冷血贱人
How about you just let it go
何不随它去呢
and go play with the other boys?
去和其他男孩们玩玩吧
Oh, she'd love that.
那正合她意
Okay, Enid.
好啊 伊妮德
You want to dance? Let's dance.
你想玩玩吗 那我们就来玩玩
Let me have my cellphone. Come on. I got to make a call.
把手机给我 拜托 我要打个电话
Sorry. Those are the rules.
抱歉 规定不允许
What are you smiling at?
你笑什么
I'm six.
我6岁
Oh, god.
天呐
All right. Got another one for you here.
好了 又给你们送来一个
Hi, honey.
亲爱的
Come on.
进去吧
One count of being an aggravating big sister.
罪状是这个大姐太凶残
That's 8 to 10 minutes.
关8到10分钟
Luke did this?! I was just trying to help him.
是卢克干的吗 我是在帮他啊
Help him do what?
帮他干什么
My friend Sienna and I were trying to help him
我朋友西恩娜和我正帮他
find this girl he has a crush on.
找到他喜欢的那个女孩
Honey, Sienna is the girl he has a crush on.
宝贝 西恩娜就是他喜欢的女孩
Come on, haven't you ever seen the way he looks at her?
拜托 你没看到他看她的眼神吗
It's same way he used to look at Halloween candy.
像他以前看万圣节糖果的眼神一样
Oh, my god. He's gonna do something stupid
天呐 他要做蠢事了
and ruin it for me.
他会毁了我的好事
I have to get out of here.
我得出去
Okay. All right. I got a plan. I got this.
好吧 我有个主意 听我的
I'm gonna create a distraction.
我来调虎离山
Just got to get that little guard over here.
把那个小警卫引到这来
You're gonna sit down very quietly,
你就安静地坐着
right by the door.
坐在门边
Great plan, mom. Let me know how that works out for you.
好主意 妈妈 记得告诉我结果如何
It's a fake lock.
那是个假锁
How long were you gonna sit on that?
你要在那坐多久
Found another one.
又找到一块
I told you.
我就说吧
Are you gonna do that every time?
你每次都要这样炫耀吗
You found glass,
你找到的是玻璃渣
not the lost city of Atlanta.
又不是消失的亚特兰大城
Wow, I'm gonna chalk that one up
估计那个城就是因为有太多
to a lot of underage drinking.
未成年人饮酒才沉没的
- You're bleeding. - What?
-你流血了 -什么
I do not like blood. I do not like blood.
我晕血 我晕血
- Is it bad? - Here.
-严重吗 -我看看
- Oh, my god! - What?
-天呐 -怎么了
Your fingers are so stubby, like baby carrots.
你的手指又短又粗 像小胡萝卜
Sure. Okay.
好吧
Make fun...
嘲笑我吧
till you need me to reach into a vending machine,
总有一天你会需要我把手伸进贩卖机里
then I'm everyone's best friend.
到时候大家都要巴结我了
Here. Hold still.
来 举着别动
Let me put some pressure on it.
我来压住止血
So, why are you a manny, anyway?
你为什么要当男保姆呢
Saving up for college.
赚钱上大学
Plus, I like kids.
而且我喜欢孩子
'Cause they make your hands seem normal?
因为和他们一起你的手显得正常吗
Okay. Thank you.
好了 谢谢
I'm good. Thank you.
我没事了 谢谢
Luke, I hate to say it,
卢克 我不想打击你
but maybe this girl left.
但也许那女孩已经离开了
It's probably for the best.
这也许是最好的结果
I mean, even if I found her --
我是说 即便我找到她
ah, forget it. It's embarrassing.
算了 当我没说 这很难为情
No. Tell me.
没事 说吧
I wouldn't know what to do.
我不知道该做些什么
I've never kissed a girl before.
我从来没有亲过女孩子
Oh! It's not that hard.
其实没有那么难
You know what?
不如这样吧
I'll kiss you once to show you how it's done.
我亲你一下给你看看是什么感觉
Really? Okay. Want to go behind the dumpster?
真的么 好 那我们去垃圾桶后面吧
No. Here is fine.
不用 在这里就可以
Okay. It's not really how I imagined it, but...
好吧 虽然跟我原来想象的不一样
Stop!
停下
What? Ignore her. Where were we?
什么 别理她 我们到哪一步了
You're the girl! You're his crush!
你就是那个女生 他喜欢你
He's being a little weirdo! Please don't judge me!
他是个小怪胎 请别因此对我另眼相看
Uh, Luke, is this true?
卢克 这是真的么
She's a nerd! Her friends are books!
她是个书呆子 她的朋友都是书
You're the best thing that's ever happened to her!
你是发生在她身上最好的事
- Alex? - Um, I don't know what he's talking about!
-艾丽克斯 -我不知道他在说什么
Okay, I'm just gonna go catch up with some friends.
好吧 我要去找我的朋友们了
Sienna, wait!
西恩娜 等等
Don't be sad. You're too good for her anyways.
别伤心 反正她也配不上你
Yeah. Thanks, Alex.
是啊 谢谢 艾丽克斯
Not you.
没说你
I was talking about myself, you little gnome.
我在说我自己 你这个小矮人
There he is.
他在那
One more arrest and we can hang up our badges.
再逮捕一个人 我们就能收工了
I've seen this punk horsing around earlier.
我之前就看到这个小混混到处捣乱
I'm gonna enjoy this.
我会享受这一刻的
Jail time, jean jacket.
该坐牢了 穿牛仔夹克的那个
- Is it bad? - You're gonna be fine.
-是不是很糟 -你会没事的
Aah! I should have worn a vest.
我应该穿个马甲的
Why is everyone just standing around?!
为什么每个人都站在那里看着
Get this man a towel for his blouse!
拿条毛巾来给他擦衬衫啊
So cold.
好冷
We were almost out.
我们差点就成功了
- I didn't want it to end like this. - Don't you do that!
-我不想就这样结束 -你不许那样做
It's not over!
事情还没结束
Listen to me.
听我说
I need you to tell my wife what happened.
我需要你告诉我太太事情的经过
Tell her it wasn't my fault.
告诉她这不是我的错
You're gonna tell her yourself.
你可以自己跟她说
She's standing right there, and she looks pissed.
她就站在那里 看起来很生气
Hi, baby.
宝贝
Phil...
菲尔
Phil, when I said we needed to go home, I meant it.
菲尔 我说了我们得回家了 说真的
I'm sorry. I should have listened to you.
对不起 我应该听你的话
But you have to stay for just one song.
但你一定要留下来再听一首歌
Why?
为什么
Trust me.
相信我
Whoo! How's everybody doing?!
大家好么
Good!
All right, next up, we have
好的 下一位 我们有请
a very special guest joining us.
一位非常特别的来宾
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for...
女士们先生们 请将掌声献给
- Harold Grossman! - Wait.
-哈罗德·格罗斯曼 -等等
What?
什么
Uh, never really done anything like this before.
我以前从没做过类似的事情
Uh, some of the gang down at the pharmacy
药房的一些朋友
talked me into it, so...
劝我来的
*Gotta take a little time*
*必须花些时间*
*A little time to think things over*
*花些时间去思考*
*I'd better read between the lines*
*读懂其中隐含的意义*
*In case I need it when I'm older*
*以便日后不时之需*
*In my life*
*在我的人生中*
Turns out Harold Grossman, our pharmacist,
没想到我们的药剂师哈罗德·格罗斯曼
is a rock star.
是个摇滚明星
His voice is the drug he should be dispensing,
他的歌声简直可以作为良药出售
because apparently, it's the cure for everything.
因为很显然 那能治愈一切
- Time to go. Let's go. - No, no, no, no, no!
-该走了 我们走吧 -别别别
Stay, stay, stay, stay! Come on, he's great! Whoo!
等等 等等 拜托 他好棒
*I want you to show me*
*我想让你告诉我*
*I want to feel what love is*
*我想感受到什么是爱*
*And I know, and I know*
*而我知道 我知道*
*I know you can show me*
*我知道你可以告诉我*
Oh, he's incredible!
他太棒了
- I know. - Incredible!
-是啊 -太棒了
Harold Grossman, everybody!
哈罗德·格罗斯 各位
Holy cow!
我的天哪
Who knew?!
谁能想到呢
Let's keep this party going.
让我们将热情持续下去
Next up, we have one more guest today.
接下来 我们今天还有一位来宾
Oh, no.
Harold, yeah.
哈罗德
Harold, Harold!
哈罗德 哈罗德
Okay, now. Okay.
好吧 好吧
Maybe Harold can come back a little later.
也许哈罗德稍后可以再返场
But in the meantime,
但此时此刻
the Dad Beats are proud to present...
节奏老爹乐队很荣幸地为您呈上
Phil Dunphy!
菲尔·邓菲
Paul who?
Phil?
菲尔
Phil dunphy.
菲尔·邓菲
- Oh, Phil Dunphy. - Oh, boy.
-是我啊 -天呐
There's a white minivan out in the parking lot
停车场有一辆白色面包车
with its lights on -- license plate number TCB-R2D2.
车灯没关 车牌号TCB-R2D2
Phil Dunphy, everybody.
掌声送给菲尔·邓菲 大家
Hey, mom. Check it out.
妈 看这个
- I finished my cake. - Oh, good.
-我的蛋糕弄好了 -真不错啊
It's Los Angeles after an 11.5 earthquake.
这是11.5级地震之后的洛杉矶
I call it earth-cake.
我叫它"地糕"
Manny, that's amazing!
曼尼 真赞
You think that's amazing?
你觉得这很赞
Wait till I smash this thing
等会看我把这玩意儿
right on top of Enid's piece of sheet cake.
砸在伊妮德的单层蛋糕上
No, no, no! Wait! Manny, Enid didn't do it.
别别别 等等 不是伊妮德干的
- I did it. - What?
-是我干的 -什么
I was the one who ruined the cake.
是我毁了你的蛋糕
I was afraid that all those boys were gonna make fun of you.
我怕那些男孩子嘲笑你
I think I care more about you fitting in than you do.
我觉得我比你更在乎你是否合群
No. I care.
不 我在乎
I care a lot.
我非常在乎
It's just the stuff I'm good at
只是我擅长的事情
isn't the stuff that makes you popular.
不会让我受欢迎
Contestants, all cakes
请各位选手在60秒内
must be at the judges' table in 60 seconds.
将蛋糕放在评委桌前
Ay, there's no way we're gonna make it through that crowd.
这么多人 我们怎么可能挤得过去
Like heck we won't. Here.
不可能挤不过去 拿着
- What? - Follow my lead.
-什么 -跟着我
- Okay. - Ready? Come on.
-好的 -准备好了吗 来
Oh, well, look who finally put down his mallet.
看看谁终于放下他的木锤了
You done having your little temper tantrum?
你发完脾气了吗
It wasn't that bad.
没有那么糟啦
Cam, your behavior was completely juvenile,
小卡 你的行为也太幼稚了
and I don't think that it set a very good example --
我不觉得这会给莉莉
Hey, hey! No cutsies --
别插队
for Lily.
树立好榜样
I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated.
对不起 我太沮丧了
I-I can't seem to turn this team into a winner.
我感觉无法让球队反败为胜了
Oh, why do you let it get you so stressed out?
你为什么要给自己这么大压力呢
It's just football.
不就是橄榄球吗
You know what football was to me?
你知道橄榄球对我来说意味着什么吗
Football was my salvation.
橄榄球是我的救赎
Every time I stepped onto that field,
每当我踏上赛场
I wasn't the weird gay outsider kid anymore.
我就不再是那个被孤立的怪咖基佬了
I inspired my entire team
我是球队的榜样
because I had something to prove.
因为我有想要证明的东西
Where's my kid that has something to prove?
我的那个想要证明自己的小孩去哪了
Come on mom!
妈 快点儿
Stay on my hip! Follow my lead!
快跟上我 跟紧点儿
Move!
That's exactly what I need.
这正是我需要的
Oh! Come on! Come on, mom.
快点 快点 妈
Cake?
需要蛋糕吗
Tell them the good news.
告诉他们你的好消息
- I won the cake contest! - The other good news.
-我赢了蛋糕比赛 -另外一个好消息
He made the football team.
他加入了球队
They won their first game.
他们第一次赢了比赛
And the guys love my banana bread.
他们爱死我烤的香蕉面包了
Keep your eyes closed, and before you open them,
闭上眼 在你睁开眼之前
remember that for 20 years,
想想这20年来
you have given me perfect, creative, thoughtful gifts.
你每年都给我完美的 贴心的礼物
And every year, I have let you down.
然而每年 我都让你失望
You're about to feel really bad, and I know that,
你将会感到非常糟糕 我懂
because it's how I have felt every year.
因为这也是我每年的感受
But, honey, it is not my intention,
但是亲爱的 这不是我的目的
because I love you.
因为我爱你
Happy anniversary.
结婚纪念日快乐
Oh, my god. Chinese acrobats?!
天啊 中国杂技
20 years -- China.
20周年 中国[与"瓷器"同音]
You're brilliant.
你好聪明
- You got it! - Hey, guys! You're my present!
-没错 -伙计们 你们是我的礼物
Oh -- oh, what's that?
那是什么
直升机 直升机
That's the helicopter. I should get in there.
那是直升机 我应该加入他们
No, no, they're -- they're here for you.
不不 让他们为你表演
They're here for you.
他们是来为你表演的
Oh... honey.
亲爱的
Don't worry, it was just a couple of beers,
别担心 只是两瓶啤酒
and if you cleaned it up...
而且你打扫干净了
Okay, Haley, I love you, too. Bye.
好的 海莉 我也爱你 拜拜
Excuse me, ma'am.
抱歉 女士
I hear you're a wanted woman.
听说你被通缉了
What you see can and will be held against you.
你所见的可能对你不利[压在你身上]
You're gonna have to arrest me first.
那你得先抓到我
Bring me some wine.
拿点酒来
Mr. P., I have a confession to make.
普先生 有件事我要向您坦白
I'm taking a much more interesting confession upstairs.
楼上有个更吸引人的"坦白"在等着我
After Joe went down,
乔睡着后
I had a sip of beer by the pool,
我在泳池边喝了口小酒
and a bottle broke.
结果瓶子碎了
- It was me. I did it. - Don't sweat it.
-是我干的 -别担心
I popped a cold one after dealing with those kids --
我也经常在照顾小孩之后喝啤酒
Sometimes during.
有时候一边照顾一边喝
Thanks, Mr. P. -- and, hey...
谢谢你 普先生 还有
Be careful up there.
上去注意安全
We are not that close.
我们还没那么熟