摩登家庭 第五季 Modern Family Season 5 第8集: ClosetCon '13

上映日期: 2,013

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 詹姆斯·R·巴格多纳斯

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·安德森-埃蒙斯


台词
How the hell did they lose our reservation.
他们怎么会没接到我们的预订
Dad, you were married to mom for thirty years.
老爸 你跟老妈结婚三十年
It's just a couple of nights on the couch.
只不过是再睡几天沙发而已
I'm gonna call for the Con.
我要给会议主办方打电话
I'm gonna try to squeeze them on that $9.95 wifi fee.
让酒店退9.95元的无线网费用
They're selling air.
不就是在卖空气嘛
ClosetCon is the premier north American trade show
橱柜展销会是北美橱柜行业
for the closet industry.
第一大展销会
I stopped going years ago
我几年前开始不再参加
'cause it's a trade show for the closet industry.
因为这是"出"柜行业的展销会
Thank you.
谢谢
This schedule is incredible.
会议安排得实在太棒了
Dad, there's a 10:45 session
老爸 10点45有一个关于
on sustainable materials.
永续材料的会议
We have got to hit that.
我们一定得去
Mm, but it overlaps with the 11:00 a.m. panel on paneling.
但是跟11点的镶板研讨小组冲突了
And a breakout session on shoe storage.
还有鞋架分会
Little advice --
给你点小建议
the convention floor is for suckers.
那些会议都是给菜鸟开的
All work is done at the bar --
真正的工作都是在酒吧里完成的
Unless Tony G. and Layla are singing standards,
除非托尼和蕾拉在唱流行歌曲
in which case, no work -- prepare to be entertained.
那样的话 别工作了 尽情欣赏吧
Dad, I came here to learn,
老爸 我是来这里学习的
not sit at the bar and drink.
不是上酒吧喝酒的
You do what you want. I'm getting a scotch.
你爱干嘛干嘛 我要去喝杯威士忌
Well, I do need to meet everybody.
我该去认识认识大家
Ooh, good. Breakfast.
好棒啊 吃早餐
Breakfast? Try lunch.
还早餐呢 叫午餐比较合适吧
- We wake up early on the farm. - Sure do.
-我们农场人起床早 -必须的
There's our sleepy city mouse.
城里来的贪睡小耗子终于起来了
Let's get you all squared away here.
我来帮你戴餐巾
Yeah, I-I got it. No, I got it.
我自己来 不用了 我自己来
Down here. I'm good. I'm good. Now, I know --
放下面 这样就好 没事了
You know, I forgot how
我都忘了
much work there was to be done around here.
这里有这么多农活要干了
I've been mending fence all morning.
我上午一直在修栅栏[双关:改善关系]
Been mending, have you?
一直在修 真的吗
Missouri.
密苏里
Misery.
痛苦之地
- What a pig sty, huh? - Cute.
-好大的猪圈啊 -真可爱
Daddy went to town, he's gonna be there till super,
老爸去城里了 他要到晚饭时候才回来
so I'm helping mama slop the pigs.
所以我在帮妈妈喂猪
You want to -- you want to pitch in?
你要来贡献点力量吗
I don't know, I just ate that bacon, so...
不知道 我刚刚吃了培根 所以
How's that gonna look?
去喂猪似乎不太合适
Want to ring the dinner bell, "Little bomber"?
要不要敲响开饭铃 小超声波
Oh, that's actually really quaint.
那说起来很古雅呢
Is it one of those little triangle thi--
是那种小三角形状的...
Loudest call in the tri-county area.
三郡范围内最响亮的吆喝
Do it again!
再来一次
No, sweetheart. I think once was enough.
不要了 亲爱的 一次就够了
There's actually an animal that runs toward that sound, huh?
还真有畜生朝这声音跑来的
第五季 第八集
家 庭
摩 登
Hello, hello!
你们好啊
- Did you make the reservation? - Yeah, 7:00.
-你预约了吗 -预约了 7点的
Fun family time with this little newsy
跟这个小家伙一起享用牛排晚餐
and a steak dinner.
度过美好的家庭时光
Who says people at the closet convention get all the fun?
谁说去参加橱柜大会的人才有美好时光
No one. No one says that.
没人 没人那么说
I am telling you, the way he looked at me
我告诉你 我去开门时
when I came to the door -- it is so on.
他看着我的样子 绝对是迷上我了
Kind of seemed like he was just delivering pizza,
看起来就是他来送披萨
and you were giving him money.
你得付钱的样子呗
What are you guys talking about?
你们在说什么呢
Chuck, the pizza guy from last night.
查克 昨晚送披萨的小伙子
He's shy and thoughtful
他害羞但是很体贴
and wears a Princeton sweatshirt --
穿着一件普林斯顿运动衫
Hardly Haley's type.
完全不是海莉喜欢的型
Oh, my God. You love him.
天呐 你爱上他了
What? No! I d-- how would you say I love him?
什么 才没有 你怎么会说我爱上他
He's been to our house exactly three times.
他才来过家里三次
That's ridiculous, Haley! Don't even look at me.
太荒谬了 海莉 别看我
This is so stupid.
太傻了
She loves him.
她爱上他了
Hey, "Manimal." How was picture day?
曼尼汉子 照相日怎么样
You know what's super-helpful?
你知道什么对我帮助最大吗
When the guy in line behind you calls you "Mount Sweatmore."
就是站在你后面的家伙叫你"大汗山"
I was trying to relax you.
我那是想让你放松点
It was right in front of you
多简单的梗
-- "Brad Pitt-Stains."
应该叫"布拉德·皮特汗渍"
- Come on, Luke. - It's okay.
-真不给力 卢克 -没关系啦
New security system?
新的安保系统吗
You can see the backyard,
你可以看到后院
the front door, the garage -- everywhere.
前门 车库 全都看得到
Yeah, can't take any chances
是啊 自从老妈生下
since mom gave birth to
那边那颗希望钻石
the hope diamond over there.
家里就不能冒任何风险
There is a room off the kitchen at Jay's house
杰家里的厨房边上有一个房间
that's always locked.
总是锁着
I try it every time I'm there.
我每次过去都要试着开一次
I've spent countless hours imagining that that room
我花了无数时间 幻想那个房间里
is a house of treasure...
藏着一屋子的宝藏
a palace of ceaseless wonder.
一座充满奇迹的宫殿
It's real.
是真的
Hello, old friend.
你好啊 老朋友
Would you look at that?
看到那个了吗
What?! That's coconuts!
什么 简直太棒了
No!
不是吧
Is that --
那是
A replica of Apollo 13.
阿波罗13号的复制品
Look at the detail.
瞧这细节
You can almost see the astronauts
你都能看到宇航员在里头
drinking teeny, tiny Tang.
喝超小杯的果珍
- Can I hold it? - No.
-能让我拿一下吗 -不行
You have any idea how valuable this is?
你知道这有多珍贵吗
And your fingers are covered in cheese dust.
你的手指上还有芝士粉末
There.
这样
- No! Luke, please! - Hey, guys. Knock it off.
-别 卢克 拜托 -你俩别闹了
Don't worry, Gloria. I got it.
别担心 歌洛莉亚 我能行
Nobody panic!!
大家都别慌
This is a collector's edition. It's 40 years old!
这可是收藏家版本 40年历史呢
We're gonna have to improvise.
我们得立即修复它
Gloria, call the steakhouse and cancel.
歌洛莉亚 给牛排馆打电话取消预约
Manny, find some glue.
曼尼 找些胶水来
Luke, let's get these parts into the garage.
卢克 我们把这些零部件都拿到车库
I know this seems impossible,
我知道这看起来很困难
but we can do this!
但我们一定能行
Hello. Houston's?
是休斯顿牛排馆吗[休斯顿火箭中心]
We have a situation.
我们出了点状况
Hi. We're with ClosetCon. All-access.
我们是参加橱柜展的 哪都能进
She doesn't care. You're the only dope wearing that here.
她不在乎 你是唯一戴着牌子的笨蛋
- Give it to me. - No. I like it.
-快给我 -不 我喜欢
Hey. Joel.
好啊 乔尔
Looking good, my friend.
看起来不错啊 老朋友
Took a bath on automated closets.
在自动化橱柜上洗澡
People aren't ready for that.
人们还没准备好呢
Jay Pritchett. Get your cute butt over here.
杰·普里契特 帅哥快过来
- Who's that? - An old friend.
-她是谁 -一位老朋友
I'm gonna go say hello. Why don't you get us a couple drinks?
我去打个招呼 你去拿两杯酒来吧
Yeah. I'll do that.
好 我这就去
Hi. Can I get a scotch and a white wine?
能给我一杯威士忌和一杯白葡萄酒吗
Wow, rowdy crowd, huh?
人真多 好吵啊
Trade shows -- people get away from their families,
展销会嘛 人们离开家人
- get a little liquored up. - Yeah, I get that.
-喝点小酒 -我懂的
Let's just say when the nametags go on,
你挂上了名牌
the wedding rings come off.
就该摘下婚戒了
I am not so on board with that.
我不大同意那点
Hey, there.
好啊美女
Classy.
经典
Let me just fix this. You're looking so great.
我帮你理理领带 看起来真帅
My mom was pretty self-involved,
我妈妈比较以自我为中心
and my dad traveled a lot for work.
而我爸经常出差
So, yeah, I did wonder if... you know.
我的确想过... 你懂的
And not that I could blame him.
我不是要责怪他
My friend Alison's mom
但每天我朋友艾莉森放学时
greeted her every day after school
她妈妈都会用一个大大的拥抱
with a big hug and a giant smile,
和笑容迎接她
And I always thought, "Yeah...
我总是想 "是啊
wouldn't mind a piece of that."
那样也挺不错的"
- So, are we doing this? - I'll bring it to your room this afternoon.
-要这样做吗 -我下午带去你房间里
We have a little tradition at ClosetCon for rookies,
对于新来橱柜展的人 我们有个小传统
which Claire is this year.
今年是克莱尔
We take a skeleton. We hide it in their closet.
我们把一具骨架藏在他们的橱柜里
They open the door and scream,
他们打开柜门 然后大声尖叫
and we all have a good laugh.
我们大家都哄堂大笑
Can't take full credit for the idea.
这主意不是我们想出来的
We stole it from CabinetCon.
是从壁橱展上学的
Hot cider.
热苹果酒
Oh, yes. Thank you, Barb.
好 谢谢你 巴布
- Thank you so much. - It's chilly.
-太感谢你了 -外面好冷
Mmm. Wow, that's got a kick.
这酒真带劲
That'll be the rum.
那是朗姆酒的力道
I can feel it warming up your belly.
我能感受到它温暖你的小肚肚
Yeah, still in my mouth and throat.
还在我嘴里和喉咙里呢
Well, what's that?
那是什么
Boy, it starting to get nippy, huh?
开始变冷了啊
You guys want to walk down to the duck pond?
你们想走去野鸭池塘吗
Um -- that sounds lovely. I'll get the gun.
听起来挺不错的 我去拿枪
- Are y'all coming? - "Y'all"?
-大家伙儿都来吗 -大家伙儿
- We don't say "Y'all"! - Yeah, we do.
-我们不说大家伙儿 -我们说的
No, well, yeah, we say it... here, but not normally.
我们在这里说 但一般不说
Well, did you ever think this is how I really talk
你觉得我其实是这样说话的
and that I talk different-like when I'm not here?
我离开这里时 说的话就不一样了吗
Y'all fighting?
大家伙儿在吵架吗
No, no, sweetie, we're just having a conversation
不不 亲爱的 我们只是在聊天
about how your daddy can be so stuck-up.
聊你二爸有多么高傲
Cam, that's really mature.
小卡 你真"成熟"
Use our daughter to get your little digs in.
利用我们的女儿来挖苦我
I would never do that, sweetie.
我绝不会那样做的 亲爱的
You don't think I notice
你觉得我没发现
how condescending you are when we come here?
我们来这里后你有多高傲吗
You just set on the porch. You roll your eyes.
你"作"在门廊上 翻白眼
You don't participate in anything.
什么也不参与
And, yeah, I said "Set."
对 我说的是"作"
But that's how we talk here.
但我们这里就是这样说话的
I'm from this place. I'm proud of this place.
这里是我的家乡 我为它感到骄傲
And it hurts me that the man I love just thinks it's some big joke.
我很难过我爱的人觉得这是个大笑话
Come on, sweetie.
走吧 亲爱的
Lord a'mercy.
仁慈的主啊
Ugh. I'm starving. What are we gonna do about dinner?
我饿死了 晚餐怎么办啊
I checked with dad, and I ordered a couple pizzas from Theo's.
我问过爸爸了 订了几块西奥家的匹萨
I knew it! You're stalking my pizza guy!
我就知道 你在跟踪我的匹萨帅哥
He is not into you, okay?
他不喜欢你 好吗
Does he call you "Brown eyes"
他叫过你"棕眼姑娘"吗
and give you extra mozzarella sticks?
多给过你酥炸芝士条吗
Okay, that's it, you two!
够了 你俩
You cannot fight over men like it's jewelry or shoes.
你们不能像争珠宝或者鞋子一样争男人
If you're both interested, no one makes a move.
如果你俩都喜欢他 谁也不许去追
Sisters before misters!
姐妹第一 男人第二
- Stalker! - Trollop.
-跟踪狂 -荡妇
Ha-ha, don't know what it means --
不知道那是什么意思
- What did you do?! - Nothing!
-你做了什么 -我没做什么
Aah! Yes, you did! You turned it on,
就是你 你把它打开了
and now the propeller's all tangled up!
现在螺旋桨都缠在一起了
Why would I do that?
我为什么要那样做
'cause my pizza guy is coming,
因为我的匹萨帅哥就要来了
and now I have airplane in my hair!
现在我头发里有一架飞机
I swear I didn't, Haley. Okay.
我发誓我没有 海莉
I'll get it out. Oh, my god, ow!
我来帮你弄出来 天啊
- What is happening?! - I don't know!
-发生什么了 -我不知道
Ohh, you find a little toy?
你找到了一个小玩具吗
Hey, was that aunt Marge
刚在车道上
just tearing down the driveway?
横冲直撞的是玛吉姑妈吗
Yes. And she dropped off a little present.
对 她带来了一份小"礼物"
Is that my Cam Cam?
这是我的小卡卡吗
- Gram gram! - Oh, you.
-奶奶 -你好啊
There have been some storm warnings,
最近发布了风暴预警
so Marge thought she'd be safer over here.
玛吉觉得她在这里更加安全
But she dropped her off so fast
但她很快让她下了车
that we didn't even have a chance to straighten up.
我们都没时间整理一下[straight暗指直男]
We never told gram about the gay.
我们从没和奶奶说基佬的事
You know, after they reach a certain age,
他们年事已高
you worry that it could
可能听到了这件事
be the thing that sends them over the edge,
一激动就一命呜呼了
And she's been on the edge for a long time.
而她已经随时都可能驾鹤西去了
We're actually on deathbed number two.
实际上她排在二号临终床上
Mitchell. Mitchell.
米奇尔 米奇尔
Okay. W-what's this?
好吧 这怎么回事
This is me ready to slop, bale, or milk something.
这是我准备好去喂猪 打包或者挤奶了
You don't need to do that.
你没必要这样做
No, I -- Cam, I-I know.
不 小卡 我知道
I know I gave you hell for being who you really are,
我知道我对你真实的一面过于苛责
- and I want to make that up to you. - Yeah, but you know what?
-我想补偿你 -好吧 但你知道吗
Putting on my sister's Sunday overalls is gesture enough.
穿上我姐姐的周日工作服就足够了
- What's this? - Oh, it's my chewing straw.
-这是什么 -我咀嚼的稻草
- It's not straw. - Oh, it's just show -- for show.
-这不是稻草 -这只是作秀啦
- Hey. Come on, come on. - You know, you love the man,
-别过去 别过去 -你爱这个男人
- you love the world he comes from. - Yeah, but you know what?
-要爱他的家乡 -是 但你知道吗
I don't know if it's these farming clothes or what,
我不知道是这套农场装还是其它的缘故
but I am feeling so close to you right now.
此时此刻我觉得和你好亲近
- Well, that's so sweet. - Now give me a kiss.
-这话真贴心 -快亲我一下
No, not right now.
不行 现在不行
Well, don't make me rassle you down.
别逼我扑倒你
Who's this?
这人是谁
Oh, dear.
惨了
Uh...well, grams, this is Bud, our new farmhand.
奶奶 这位是巴德 新来的农工
Bud?
巴德
Yeah, Bud's a little simpleminded
是的 巴德脑袋被驴踢过
on account of getting mule-kicked, isn't he?
所以脑子有点不好使 是不是
And you know the rules on being in the house, Bud.
巴德 你该知道你是不能进屋的
Now, go on outside.
快出去吧
We're gonna milk the cows in a few minutes.
我们过一会儿还得挤牛奶呢
Get on out there. Have a treat afterwards.
出去挤奶吧 挤完请你吃饭
Here's what we've got to work with.
所有零件都在这里了
Nicely done. I've got Florida on the line.
干得漂亮 我已经和佛罗里达州连线了
Dad, I'm flying you in. You're the model expert.
爸 我把你放到这里 你是模型专家
What are we looking at, son?
儿子 我们要组装什么东西
Holy Moses.
我的神呐
More like Apollo 1,300 pieces!
这是碎成1300块的阿波罗号啊
In space, I guess no one can hear you be hilarious.
看来太空里的人没有什么幽默感
I need you to focus.
我需要你专心一点
- If Jay sees this... - I know!
-万一杰看到这个... -我知道了
Dad, you've got three good men here depending on you.
爸 这里三个好男人全都靠你了
Say no more -- I'm gonna tap a button now
不多说了 我现在要按一个键
that's either gonna make you
可能会把我屏幕上
larger on my screen or --
你们的影像放大 或者
We've lost Florida.
我们和佛罗里达失去联系了
Yeah, yeah. Bring the skeleton up now. I just got to the room.
现在就把骷髅架拿过来 我刚到房间
Hey, dad.
你好呀 爸
Hey, honey.
你好 女儿
I thought we were meeting at the restaurant.
我还以为我们是约在餐厅见呢
Yeah, well, the lecture got done a little early,
没错 那场演讲结束得有些早
and I was kind of the star of the evening.
而且我似乎成了今晚的明星
I got a huge laugh when I coined the phrase
我杜撰出来一个词引得全场爆笑
"Shelf-esteem."
"柜尊"[与自尊近似]
Huh? Yeah?
好笑吧
Okay, I'll text it to Phil.
我得发短信告诉菲尔
Why don't you go down to the lobby? You'll get a stronger signal.
你何不到楼下大厅去发 信号会比较好
- Oh. Hello. - Rita.
-你好 -丽塔
-This is my daughter, Claire. - Hi.
-这是我女儿 克莱尔 -你好
Claire, this is Rita.
克莱尔 这位是丽塔
Your dad and I go way back.
我和你爸认识好多年了
First time we met, I told him
第一次见面的时候 我就告诉他
he needed a course in "Hanger" Management.
他得进修一下"衣架"管理课程
[原词是anger management:愤怒管理]
It's still funny.
现在回想都挺逗的
Seriously?
说真的吗
Her husband's in the garment business.
她老公是从事服装生意的
He made me a suit.
他给我做了套西服
I make the closets, and he fills them.
我做衣柜 他做衣柜里面的衣服
Match made in heaven.
天作之合
Honey, they're kind of sticklers at that restaurant.
那个餐厅里的人都很难缠
Why don't you grab our table? I'll put this in the room.
要不你先去占座 我把这个放到屋里
Uh, okay. Will do.
好的 这就去
Um, really nice to meet you.
非常高兴见到你
See you downstairs.
楼下见了
I actually am gonna take the stairs.
我其实想走楼梯
That elevator is slow.
电梯实在太慢了
Hey, was it just me,
是我多想了
or was she looking at me weird?
还是她看我的眼神确实有点怪
I did kind of sense that.
我也有点感觉
You don't think she knows about our deal?
她不会是知道了我们的事情吧
How could she? It was 20 years ago.
怎么会 那件事都过去20年了
And I never told anyone.
何况我从来没告诉过别人
Would she even care?
她还会介意这个吗
That I tried to get rid of the man she ended up marrying?
介意我试图拆散她和她嫁的那个男人吗
Well, it's not like you took a hit out on him.
你又没有攻击那个男人
You had me offer him a job
你只不过是让我给他
in the greatest state in the union.
在最好的州找了份工作
Okay, Tex.
好了 德克萨斯粉丝
If I never said anything, how could she know?
我从没对谁说过 她怎么会知道
You're not the first one I approached.
我第一个找上的人不是你
You're just the first one who said yes.
你只是第一个答应的而已
- I'm done. I'm done - Come on.
-我受够了 受够了 -拜托
Please, just be Bud -- for a couple days.
求你了 扮演一下巴德 就一两天
You can do some chores, maybe I can
你可以干些杂活儿 然后或许
berate you a little bit to really sell it.
我再呵斥你两句 装得更像点
Do you hear how insane you sound?
你听不出你的话有多过分吗
Chores?
让我干杂活儿
All right, you know what?
好吧 你知道吗
You -- you deal with your grandmother however you want.
你想怎么对付你奶奶随便你
- Lily and I will just go get a hotel room. - No, you can't.
-我和莉莉要去找酒店住 -不行
Fine. Motel, silo --
好吧 没酒店就找汽车旅馆或粮仓
whatever you got around here.
什么都行
No, that alarm means there's a tornado coming right now.
不 那个警报表示龙卷风这就要来了
Oh, god. Well, where's lily?
我的天 莉莉在哪里
I hope she's not still out in the field.
但愿她不会还在田里
Lil-y-y-y-y!
莉莉
You can't just call her like a pig!
你不能像唤猪一样地叫她
Lil-y-y-y-y-y!
莉莉
Okay, this is just a farm thing,
好吧 只能在农场这样叫
not, like, a mall thing.
回到城里大商场可不行
- What's that, city voice? Hmm? - Just go.
-你说什么 城市之声 -快走吧
This is really in there good.
这个缠得真够紧的
Get her off of me.
让她离我远点
I'm getting dumb through osmosis.
她身上的傻气要渗透给我了
I don't have osmosis.
我才没有渗透这种东西
Oh, great. Chuck's here with the pizza.
太好了 查克把披萨送来了
Gloria, can you please get it?
歌洛莉亚 你可以去开下门吗
No. You two be nice to each other
不行 你们两个得对彼此友善点
and figure it out.
自己解决
Oh, hey, Chuck.
你好 查克
I didn't think you'd be working tonight.
我没想到你今晚还要工作
Hey. What are you doing here?
你好 你怎么会在这里
Oh, this is my grandfather's house.
这里是我外公的家
There's a pool. Do you swim?
后院有游泳池 你会游泳吗
You look like you swim.
看你这身材一定会
I do.
我确实会游
Oh, thanks.
谢谢
You okay?
你还好吧
Oh, yeah. Totally. Just a cramp.
还好 没事 有点抽筋而已
I work out. One second.
我经常锻炼 稍等一下
- You little... - Shut up.
-你个小... -闭嘴
Hey, you.
你好啊
Hey, brown eyes.
你好 棕眼美女
Okay, cool. Thanks. Bye.
好的 谢谢 再见
Bye!
再见
- What? - Shut up, dork.
-干嘛 -闭嘴 笨蛋
Don't be nervous, honey.
别紧张 亲爱的
There's nothing to be scared of.
没有什么好害怕的
Take it easy, mama. Don't break a hip.
放轻松 妈妈 别把屁股摔了
I'm telling you right now.
告诉你吧
I am not pretending to be something I'm not,
我才不要假装成别人
especially in front of our daughter.
尤其是当着女儿的面
Oh, so I can't kiss you in front of your dad for six years,
我六年都不能当着你爸的面亲你
and you can't give me two days?
你就不能为了我忍两天吗
We're saving an old lady some unnecessary upset.
我们是为了不让老太太难过
Why don't you give her a little credit?
为什么不给她多点信任呢
She might be more open-minded than you think.
她说不定比你想的更开明
Well, you're a cute little Chinese thing.
你个可爱的小中国娃
Actually, gram, she's, uh, from Vietnam,
奶奶 其实她是越南人
and her name's Lily.
她叫莉莉
Dad, how long do we have to stay down here?
爸爸 我们还得在这呆多久
"Dad"?
"爸爸"
Okay, well, I guess there's no way around this.
好吧 看来真没辙了
Ac-- actually, ma'am...
其 其实
...she's my kin.
她是我家的
So, you got a Chinese wife, Bud?
那你是有个中国妻子咯 巴德
No, I-I-I went to vietnam,
不是 我去了趟越南
and I did myself some adopting,
自己领养了个娃
And now I'm raising her all by my lonesome.
现在我就孤身一人养着她
Well, I never thought I'd live long enough to see that.
我从没想到有生之年还能见识这种事
None of us did.
大家都没想到
But I guess there's nothing more important than family...
但我想世上最重要的就是家庭了
no matter how they come.
不管这家庭是如何建立的
Well, that is mighty open-minded of you.
您真是太开明了
Some folks 'round these parts don't share that progressive--
有人就不懂分享这种进步
I say progressive-- sensibility.
这种进步的情感
To each his own.
青菜萝卜 各有所爱
But I do wish I had another
但我确实希望
little one like that to spoil.
能有这么个小不点儿来宠爱
What if I told you you did have a great-grandbaby?
要是我说你确实有个曾孙女呢
- What? - Cam...
-什么 -小卡
It's okay, mama.
没关系 妈妈
What if I told you I was in love,
要是我说我恋爱了
and that I've never been happier in my entire life,
而且我此生从未如此幸福
and that I'm about to get married?
而且我就要结婚了呢
I can't think of anything better.
那简直是世上最好的消息
And what if I told you the love of my life
要是我告诉你我的毕生至爱
is this man standing right here?
就是这个男人呢
Then I'd know why god sent us this tornado.
难怪上帝要带给我们这场龙卷风
Damn.
该死
After the initial shock, gram softened a bit.
最初的震惊之后 奶奶缓和了一些
She even agreed to attend the wedding.
她甚至同意参加婚礼了
Standing outside with a sign.
举着牌子站在场外抗议
Baby steps, Mitchell. Baby steps.
慢慢来 米奇尔 慢慢来
And... our antenna is...
然后 天线就
- reattached. - Yes!
-重新连上了 -赞
Oh, this is useless.
这没用啊
Hey, I don't want to hear talk like that.
我不想听见这种话
If you want inspiration, think about Apollo 13.
想鼓舞士气就想想阿波罗十三号
Jay didn't give up when he first put together this model.
杰第一次组装这模型的时候也没有放弃
It was hard and complicated, and back then,
这很难很复杂 而且那时候
the print on the instructions was tiny,
说明书上的字也很小
but he persevered.
可他坚持下去了
Also, the astronauts on the actual Apollo 13
而且 真的阿波罗十三号上的宇航员
didn't give up when their actual lives were in danger.
身处险境时也没有放弃
Them, too, but they had a lot of other people helping them out.
是的 但他们有很多人帮忙
We're on our own here.
我们只能靠自己
Okay, I figured out what we need
我知道我们需要什么东西
to reattach that damn landing module.
来重新组装这该死的着陆舱了
Glue won't work.
胶水不行
We need a very thin filament--
我们需要根非常细的长丝
thinner than thread.
比线还细的
I know what will work.
我知道什么能行
Well, I need to go check on something.
我得离开一下
I told my date I'd be back in a jiff.
我跟我的女伴说我去去就回
Back in a jiff.
去去就回
Nothing to do but wait.
只能等了
Why are we making ourselves crazy, Phil?
我们为何自己乱了阵脚 菲尔
I don't know. I just hate disappointing Jay so much.
不知道 我就是不想让杰失望
He is not an easy guy to please.
他的确不是容易取悦的人
I know, but when you do, it's pretty sweet, ain't it?
我知道 可一旦成功就很幸福 是吧
Sure is.
必须的
You're lucky to have a dad like that.
你很幸运有这么个老爸
Hard not to be hurt by that, son.
很难不受伤啊 儿子
How have I never noticed how loud you breathe?
我怎么以前没发现你喘气这么大声
Aw, don't beat yourself up-- that'd require you
别自责了 那需要你
to notice something that isn't about you.
注意到你自己以外的事情
Oh, my god, you are such a loser!
天呐 你真失败
I can't be stuck to you all day!
我可不能整天跟你在一起
Okay, that's it! I cannot listen to this anymore!
够了 我听不下去了
I'm going to cut you two out of there.
我要把你俩剪开
No! Gloria, no! My hair!
不 歌洛莉亚 我的头发
- Too late! - Okay, okay! Just cut mine.
-太晚了 -好吧 剪我的就好
Yeah, cut hers! Wait. Why?
没错 剪她的 等等 为什么
No one cares what I look like, anyway.
反正也没人关心我长什么样
You don't really think that.
你才不是真的这么想
Yeah, well, kind of.
多少有一点
You didn't see the way that Chuck was looking at you?
你没看到查克看你的眼神吗
Wait, you actually think I'm a threat?
等等 你真觉得我对你是个威胁吗
I'm not gonna say that out loud.
我不会说出来的
Aww, that's so sweet.
这真窝心
Well, if I ever had a boyfriend,
要是我有男朋友
I wouldn't trust him with you for five seconds.
我绝对不会让他和你独处五秒的
Okay. Let's finish this job.
好了 结束吧
Gloria, no, you can't cut--
歌洛莉亚 别 不能剪
And there you go.
搞定了
That's it. That was easy.
就这样 小菜一碟
Why did you wait an hour to do this?
你为什么等了一小时才这样做
Why did you wait 15 years to do that?
你们为什么等了15年才那么做呢
At least this way, nothing bad happened
至少这样 大家的秀发
to anyone's pretty hair.
都不会受损
Oh, honey. I didn't hear you come in.
女儿 我没听到你进来
- How was the rest of your night? - Let's see.
-晚上过得如何 -这么说吧
After you bailed on me,
在你放了我鸽子之后
Mark from Closetopia yakked my ear off,
衣柜乌托邦的马可一直冲我喋喋不休
and then told me I look like Heidi Klum,
还说我长得像海蒂·克鲁姆
which is such an obvious come-on.
这简直是赤裸裸的挑逗
Mark's gay.
马可是同性恋
Well, in that case, my night stank.
这样的话 今晚糟透了
And I didn't bail.
我没有放你鸽子
I know a lot of people here. They pulled me away.
这里很多人跟我很熟 他们把我拉走的
Hey, these robes are terrific.
这睡袍棒极了
You know, there's one for you in the closet.
衣柜里有你一件
You ought to put it on.
你一定要穿上感受一下
I don't want a robe.
我不想穿浴袍
Dad, were you avoiding me tonight?
爸 你今晚是不是在躲我
Why would I avoid you?
我为什么要躲你
Trust me -- soft, like butter.
相信我 柔软的像黄油一样
Right in there.
就在那里挂着
Don't make me ask.
不要非让我问出口
What are you talking about?
你在说什么
You and Rita 20 years ago --
20年前你和丽塔
- It's okay. I know. - Oh, geez.
-没什么 我都知道了 -天呐
I get it. Things happen.
我理解 这种事时有发生
- Really? - It was a long time ago.
-真的么 -事情过去很久了
Well, I appreciate it.
好吧 感谢理解
I just want to say I'm not proud of it.
我只能说我并不以此为傲
If I had known him then like I know him now,
如果那时我能像现在这样了解他
I never would have tried to get rid of Phil.
我绝不会试图把菲尔从你身边赶走
Good night.
晚安
"Get rid of Phil"? What are you talking about?
把菲尔赶走 你在说什么
What are you talking about?
你又在说什么
You and Rita had an affair.
你和丽塔的婚外情
No, we didn't. That's crazy.
不 我们没有 那也太离谱了
Well, okay, good night.
好吧 晚安
"Get rid of phil" -- what does that even mean?
把菲尔赶走 你那么说是什么意思
It doesn't mean anything. You had just started dating.
没什么意思 你们刚开始约会
You know I was never hot on the guy.
你知道我一直不喜欢那个家伙
I told Rita to offer him
我让丽塔在德克萨斯州
a sales job in Texas.
给他找了个销售职位
I remember that, but that wasn't when we were dating.
我记得 但那不是在我们约会的阶段
- We were engaged. - Doesn't matter.
-我们都订婚了 -那不重要
Phil didn't take the job anyway.
菲尔也没有接受那份工作
If anything, my little test
如果一定要说有什么后果
proved how much he loved you.
我的小测试证明了他有多爱你
You're welcome. We'll talk in the morning.
不用客气 我们明早再谈
Oh, how dare you -- "You're welcom" please.
你怎么能这样 还敢说"不用客气"
Oh, I can't even be in the same room with you.
我无法和你共处一室了
- Where is my coat? - Uh, Claire.
-我的外套在哪 -克莱尔
Ugh, unbelievable.
真是不敢相信
"I don't like my son-in-law,
我不喜欢我的女婿
so I'm gonna ship him off to Texas."
所以我要把他打发到德克萨斯去
Real mature way to deal with your problems, dad.
爸 你这样处理问题真"成熟"
- I get that point. - Yeah. Real mature.
-我明白你的意思 -是啊 真成熟
- That's real mature, too. - That's tradition.
-这样整人也很成熟 -这是传统
- It's the skeleton... - In the closet. Oh, I get it.
-那是个骷髅 -在衣橱里 我知道
[skeleton in the closet: 见不得光的秘密]
I'm really sorry, but before you go storming out of here,
我非常抱歉 但在你冲出去之前
you want to talk about a certain phone call I got
你想不想谈谈几年前我接到的
from immigration a few years ago?
一通移民局打来的电话
I had just started dating Gloria.
那时我刚开始和歌洛莉亚约会
They were acting on an anonymous tip.
他们说有人匿名举报
It's very late.
时候不早了
We have a very big day tomorrow.
明天还有不少事要做
You know, Claire, I've really come to like Phil.
克莱尔 我现在越来越喜欢菲尔了
I know.
我知道
And the irony is,
而且讽刺的是
he would really love that skeleton gag.
他会很喜欢这个骷髅的梗
Try it out on him. You got
你可以在他身上试试
to take care of that thing till next year.
明年的会议之前骷髅由你来保管
Oh, god.
天哪
Wait, before you turn that out,
等等 在你关灯之前
have we talked about everything we need to?
我们得确认一下没什么需要谈的了吧
'cause I want everything out in the clear here.
因为我想把一切都说开
Yeah. We have.
是的 没有了
Good night.
晚安
I did make out with Rita once about 15 years ago.
大概15年前我确实和丽塔亲热过一次
Good night.
晚安
Okay.
All that's left...
剩下的就是
is to reattach the lander to the command module.
要把着陆舱连接到驾驶舱上
We got one shot at this, fellas.
我们只有一次机会 伙计们
If we fail, jay's gonna burn up on re-entry into this house. Am I right?
如果失败了 杰一回到家就会发疯的 对吧
Hole in one, son!
一次搞定 儿子
Thanks, dad.
谢谢 老爸
Boys, if this thing goes sideways,
孩子们 如果这事搞砸了
I don't want you to be here to see it.
我不想你们亲眼看到
- So go on. - But, dad --
-所以快走 -但爸爸
No, you listen to me!
不 听我的
Okay, Phil.
好的 菲尔
Okay, Philip.
好吧 菲利普
Steady.
稳一点
He's locked in.
他要开始了
Not now, nerves.
现在不是紧张的时候
Hold.
稳住
Hold.
稳住
Be a hero.
当个英雄
Bring her home.
带她回家
I guess I'll call a cab.
我看我还是打车走吧
So long, Jeanine.
再见 珍宁
Is it? Is --
难道 这是
It is!
完成了
Splashdown!
成功溅落
Son of a bitch, he did it.
狗娘养的 他成功了
Yeah! Gloria, get in here!
歌洛莉亚 快来
There we go!
快来
- Dad, you did it! - Yes, I did!
-爸 你成功了 -是啊 成功了
I love it! I love it!
太棒了 太棒了
I love it!
太棒了
Phil, honey. Come to bed.
菲尔 亲爱的 快上床
This robe feels like butter.
这浴袍滑的像黄油一样
I missed this, honey.
太怀念了 亲爱的
That yoga's really paying off.
这瑜伽课可真是物超所值啊
Hey, whoa. Slow down, baby.
悠着点 宝贝
You can't gun a cold engine.
发动机可还没烧热呢
But if you're -- then who's --
但如果你...那床上的是...
When did you know?
你什么时候发现的
When it didn't complain about my socks.
它没有抱怨我穿着袜子
You checked the closet, didn't you?
你检查过衣橱了 是不是
Every night before bed.
每晚睡前都会检查
I really don't understand it. It's so silly.
我真的不懂 这好傻
I mean, if somebody really wanted to kill you,
我是说 如果真的有人想杀你
obviously they'd just hide under the bed.
很明显他们会藏在床下
Good night.
晚安
Damn it.
妈的