摩登家庭 第六季 Modern Family Season 6 第13集: 谁更爱吃醋 Rash Decisions

上映日期: 2,014

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 贝丝·麦卡锡-米勒

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 诺兰·古德 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 奥布里·


台词
We're back!
我们回来了
Funniest thing --
发生了件超搞笑的事
Stella fell in love with this dog on our walk,
斯黛拉散步时爱上了一只狗狗
just stared at it lovingly.
她就这么含情脉脉地凝望着
Turned out to be her reflection in a hubcap.
结果发现那是她在轮毂罩映出的像
Can you blame her?
搞得人哭笑不得
I got an "A" on my history exam, by the way.
话说我历史考试拿了个A
Really, you're competing with the dog?
你当真要和狗狗争宠吗
Don't let it bother you, girl.
别理他 乖孩子
Jay, we need to talk.
杰 咱们得谈谈
I went to an allergist today,
我今天到过敏症医生那去了
and he thinks that Joe's rash is an allergy.
他认为乔身上的疹子是过敏引起的
What a surprise -- an allergist found an allergy.
真厉害 过敏症医生发现过敏症状了
He thinks he might be allergic to Stella.
他认为乔可能对斯黛拉过敏
What?
什么
The only reaction this dog gives people is the giggles.
这只狗带来的唯一反应就是引人发笑
I mean, when she tried to lick her own face...
当她想舔自己脸的时候...
In my village, if a goat acted that dumb,
在我们村 如果一只山羊有那么笨
we wouldn't even eat it.
我们都不会吃它
This allergy thing is very serious.
过敏这事不是开玩笑
We need to separate them for a week
我们得把他俩分开一星期
to see if the rash goes away.
看看疹子会不会消褪
I don't know if I can go that long without seeing Joe.
那么久看不到乔我可能会受不了
Not joe! The dog!
不是乔要走 是狗要走
I already called Mitch and Cameron.
我已经给米奇和卡梅隆打过电话了
They're gonna take her.
他们可以照顾她
For a week?!
走一星期吗
She'll be traumatized! She's very sensitive!
她会心灵受伤 她可是很敏感的
She scrapes her butt on the driveway.
她是只会在车道上蹭屁股的狗
Why don't you like her?
你怎么就这么不待见她
She's never done anything to you.
她跟你什么仇什么怨
Ay, look! My face cream!
你自己瞧 我的面霜
Do you know how much this costs?
你知道这东西多少钱吗
No. How much?
不知道 多少钱啊
Don't change the subject!
别转移话题
The dog goes now!
这狗现在就得走
You know, now that I think about it,
这么一提我才发现
I could be allergic to Stella.
我可能也对斯黛拉过敏
I've been a little stuffy since we got her.
自从她来了我就有点呼吸困难[古板]
You were stuffy long before Stella.
斯黛拉没来前你就很古板
Do you not remember scolding that waiter at Chuck E. Cheese
你不记得那次你在芝士店批评服务员
for serving you from the right?
只是因为他是从右边上餐吗
家 庭
摩 登
第六季 第十三集
Victorian.
维多利亚式
Modern.
现代
Craftsman.
纯木工
Spanish.
西班牙式
European...Gothic?
欧洲的 哥特式
Andy, it's the castle from "Frozen".
安迪 这是《冰雪奇缘》里的城堡
I'm sorry, but you're not ready.
很抱歉 你没准备好
What?
什么
To hear that you're ready!
听到"你准备好了"这个消息
Congratulations, assistant!
恭喜你 助理
I'm moving you up to the next level.
我要引领你到另一个境界
Holy cow.
苍天啊
That was an emotional thrill ride.
刚才可把人紧张坏了
This Sunday,
这个周日
you are manning the open house of the Cope Cod on Linden.
你要负责销售林登那里的科德角式房
That means you're gonna be sticking
这意味着你负责在街边
the sign and the balloons on the corner,
安放好售房标志和气球
you're gonna be turning on all the lights,
你负责把所有灯打开
you're gonna be baking all the brownies.
你负责烤好布朗尼蛋糕
I will make you proud, sir.
我会让您为我骄傲的 先生
What else are you gonna do?
你还要负责干什么
I will make sure people sign in.
我要确保客人登记好信息
What else?
还有什么
When I show someone the master bedroom,
我给客人展示主卧的时候
I'll say, "This is where the magic happens."
我会说 "这是奇迹发生的地方"
- I'm sold! - Yes!
-保准能卖掉 -太好了
Hey, buddy. I got to hit the mall a little later.
小伙伴 我等下要去商场
You wanna grab a couple of chair massages
你想不想到按摩椅上去享受下
till they kick us out?
直到他们赶我们走
Nah. I'm gonna go hang out with some of my friends.
不了 我要跟几个朋友出去玩
Okay.
好吧
Have fun.
玩得开心
Teenagers, huh?
现在的青少年啊
Yeah, it's been happening more and more,
是啊 越来越不想和我一起
but it's natural.
但这正常
Kids that age want distance.
这个年龄的小孩需要空间
One day, they're holding your hand so tight it hurts.
昨天他还紧紧抓着你的手
The next day, they're eating the apple you kind of wanted.
第二天他们就把你想吃的苹果给吃了
Not me.
我可不会
I never turned down an offer to hang with my dad.
我从来不会拒绝和我爸一起玩
Luckily for him, he died before my rebellious teenage years.
他很走运 我开始叛逆之前他就去世了
That must be grandpa with Stella.
肯定是外公和斯黛拉
Remember, Lily, she's only gonna be here for a week,
记住 莉莉 她只会在这呆一周
She's not gonna be our permanent pet.
她不会变成我们今后的宠物
Don't tell me, tell Larry.
别跟我说 告诉拉里
He's been acting jealous all day.
他一整天都嫉妒得要死
You're being crazy!
你想太多了
Hey, Dad.
老爸你好
Hey, Jay.There's our precious little houseguest.
杰 你好 瞧瞧我们的小稀客
Okay, guys, listen up.
好了 听清楚
She gets three walks a day.
她每天要散三次步
Keep her off the bed. We're training her.
别让她上床 我们在训练这个
No chicken bones. If she starts to wheeze --
吃鸡不能带骨头 如果她开始喘气
Remember when you dropped me off at summer camp?
记不记得那次你送我去夏令营
You barely slowed down the car.
你车都没停稳就把我撂了下来
You never had a condition that made it difficult to breathe.
你又没有会让你难以呼吸的病症
I was a closeted gay kid at sports camp.
我当时是运动夏令营里没出柜的同性恋
I spent the week in mid-faint.
我一整周都迷迷糊糊的
Lily, don't forget to give Stella lots of belly rubs.
莉莉 别忘了多揉揉斯黛拉的小肚肚
Grandpa, this is coming
爷爷 这件事
at a really bad time for me and Larry.
对我和拉里而言来的不是时候
Okay, well, now, don't you worry
好了 你别担心
about wily not woving you yet.
莉莉现在还不喜欢你这件事
Aw, who's the little weeble wobble?
你怎么这么可爱呢
- I can't watch this. Okay. - Bye, Dad.
-我看不下去了 -老爸再见
Oh, I don't know. I guess in my free time,
我也不知道 平常要是没事
I like to keep up with the latest discoveries
我喜欢关注有关再生能源的
in renewable energy.
最新研究
Just think, a few more months
记住 再过几个月
and you'll never have to deal with this again.
你就再也不用经历这事了
You know, I don't mind college interviews.
我不介意参加大学面试
I actually like discussing the things that they --
我其实挺喜欢和他们讨论一些
I was talking to the mirror.
我刚在跟镜子说话
I know all you had to do to get in your college
我知道你想上的大学只需要你
was like their Facebook page,
关注他们的Facebook就够了
But this is Princeton.
但这可是普林斯顿大学
I have to show them that I'm a serious thinker,
我要向他们展现我缜密的思维
and you could be a bit more supportive.
你就不能支持我一下吗
You're right. I'm sorry.
好吧 很抱歉
Your outfit's perfect.
你的衣服很棒
Thanks.
谢谢
If you're applying to lumberjack school.
如果你是要申请伐木学校的话
And majoring in having your cats eat you when you die.
而且主修的是在死后被自己的猫吃掉
Well, hello.
早上好啊
How was your first day back in the closet...
第一天感觉如何 回到衣柜...
business?
行业工作
That doesn't make any sense. I've never worked here before.
你在说什么 我根本就没在这工作过
It's just a gay joke, Mitchell.
那只是个基佬笑话 米奇尔
Don't overthink it.
别想多了
You settling in?
你还适应吗
Yeah. Yeah.
是啊
I mean, you know, I'm in jeans and I'm at work --
我是说 我穿着牛仔裤 在上班
I feel like a mechanic.
感觉像是个技工
I am looking forward
我很期待
to doing a few days of freelance legal work for my dad
来给我爸做几天自由法律工作
because, uh, where I work,
因为在我上班的公司
I've gotten the unfair reputation
我有个不太公平的名声
of being the office nag, which is...
"办公室里的唠叨鬼" 这...
See, it's only because I work with a bunch of slobs.
那只是因为我跟一群懒汉一起工作
I mean, I must tell these people 50 times a day --
我每天必须告诉那些人50次
"Wipe down the microwave," "Clean the coffee pot,"
擦干净微波炉 清洗咖啡壶
"Whose moldy lunch meat is this, Kevin?"
这是谁的发霉的午餐肉啊 凯文
So, did they put up much of a fight
这回你请假的时候
when you asked for that time off, or...?
他们有没有力争一番啊
Yeah, it's so nice and casual here.
这里真好 很随意
I can't wait to get my chill on.
我等不及想展示我潇洒的一面了
What are you doing?
你在干什么
What? This is me.
什么啊 我就是这样
No, it's not.
才不是
For the next few days it is.
接下来的几天我就是这样
When I leave here,
我离开这里时
men will want to be me, women will want to shop with me.
男人会想成为我 女人会想跟我购物
Have you ever thought of
你想过
trying to be nicer at your regular job?
在你的常规工作那边更友好一些吗
I mean, I've had to learn
我也是慢慢学着
how to balance being a friend and a manager.
如何在做朋友和做经理之间保持平衡
You could call it being a "Franager."
你可以称之为做"朋理"
But I don't have to, right?
但我没必要 对吧
Yes, you do.
有必要
I am your boss. You have to do everything I say.
我是你老板 你得听我的一切吩咐
Okay, all right, here comes Lucy.
好吧 露西来了
She's new, and dad wants me to talk to her
她是新来的 爸爸想让我跟她谈谈
about the way she dresses.
她的穿衣打扮
He says it's distracting.
他说那令人分心
Watch and learn. Lucy's about to get franaged.
学着点 露西就要被"朋理"了
Oh, good, it's a verb, too.
真棒 还能当动词用呐
Hey, Luce.
好啊 露西
Oh, hi, Ms. Dunphy.
好啊 邓菲女士
Oh, no, come on. Please, my dad is Ms. Dunphy.
不 拜托 我爸爸才是邓菲女士
I'm just Claire.
我只是克莱尔
So, listen, if you were looking for some clothes for work,
如果你想买一些上班时穿的衣服
Nordstrom's having a fabulous sale.
诺德斯特姆在搞大减价呢
I picked up this appropriate little number there.
我在那里选了这件得体的小码衣服
Well, I'll have to check that out.
我会去看看的
- Great. - Thanks.
-真棒 -谢谢
See what I just did there?
看到我刚做的事了吗
I got to get back to work.
我得去工作了
Do you want to have lunch later?
一会儿一起吃午餐吗
Aren't you going to the Pasta Factory with the gang?
你不跟大伙儿去面食工厂吗
Oh, is it somebody's birthday?
有谁要过生日吗
I-I don't know.
我不知道
Uh, something they do on Mondays.
他们每周一都去那里
Oh, right, yeah, yeah. Uh, P-Pasta Factory Monday.
对哦 周一去面食工厂
I knew that.
我知道
Doesn't seem like you did.
看起来你不知道
Break time's over. Get your work done.
休息时间结束了 去完成工作
Looks like someone has an issue with anger franagement.
看来某人的愤怒"朋理"有些问题啊
Let 'er rip!
开始扔吧
What a cannon!
真是一尊大炮
- 58 miles per hour. - Wait. What?!
-每小时58英里 -等等 什么
Yes!
是啊
What are you guys doing?
你们在干什么
When we were at the mall,
我们去超市时
we got this baseball shows you how fast you throw it.
买了这个棒球 能显示扔得有多快
You guys went to the mall together?
你们一起去逛了超市吗
Yes, we sure did.
是啊
And we got the free portrait at Sears to prove it.
我们在西尔斯超市拿到了免费画像 以此证明
We should scan that bad boy before it gets ruined.
我们得扫描那幅画 免得它被毁了
Um...bye?
再见
You're outta there!
你出局了
Milady, for you.
夫人 给你
Looking good there, haircut!
发型看起来不错啊
Ah, there he is! There's my karaoke partner.
他在这里啊 我的K歌小伙伴
Hey, listen, next time you're Ebony, I'm Ivory, all right?
下次你唱埃博尼 我唱艾薇妮 好吗
Two days down, one to go,
工作了两天 还剩一天
and everybody in the office still loves the new me.
办公室里的每个人依然爱这个全新的我
Go ahead, leave a dirty coffee filter.
咖啡过滤器脏了不要紧
Oh, park askew.
歪着停车吧
Laid-back Mitchell doesn't mind.
随意的米奇尔不介意
You know, it is really nice
当你所伪装的人
to be liked for who you really are pretending to be.
受到大家的喜爱 这感觉真的很棒
All right.
好吧
I'm gonna see you tonight at Ronna's party, right?
今晚在罗娜的派对上见 好吗
Okay. What party?
好 什么派对
Aw, the two saddest words in the English language.
这问题真是英语中最可怜的四个字
Nah, it's no big deal.
没什么大不了的
We're just stopping by a bar after work,
我们只是在下班后去酒吧
have some beer, some hot wings.
喝点啤酒 吃点辣翅
- Look at me. - No, it's cool.
-瞧瞧我 -不 没事
This is my fault.
这是我的错
When I first started here,
我刚来这里上班时
somebody asked me to do something and I said no,
有人邀请我参加活动 我拒绝了
and now they think I'm not interested.
现在他们觉得我不感兴趣
Yeah, that's probably it.
可能是因为这个吧
I might drop by this one, though.
但是我也许会去参加这次活动
I think people would appreciate it.
我觉得大家会高兴的
No, you can't go.
你不能去
What? Why not?
什么 为什么
Well, you know how y-you think
你知道你觉得
that you're their boss and their friend?
你是他们的老板加朋友吧
You're one of those things.
你只是其中之一
Oh, my god. They hate me.
天啊 他们讨厌我
No. Lots of people like you.
不 很多人喜欢你
Like who?
比如说谁
Uh, well, me. I do.
我 我喜欢
- Yeah? - And, um, the, uh...
-还有呢 -还有...
Dad. Dad's a big fan.
爸爸 爸爸可喜欢你了
How's my little angel?
我的小天使怎么样
- Not great today. - I'm settling in.
-今天不怎么样 -我在适应
Not you two -- Stella.
不是你俩 是斯黛拉
Oh, she's fine.
她挺好
Cam's taking great care of her.
小卡在悉心地照顾她
Is she getting enough walks?
有没有经常带她遛弯
Cam comes home from work at lunch,
小卡中午回家吃午餐
takes her right to the dog park.
带她去狗狗公园
In fact, he's there with her right now.
实际上 他现在就和她在狗狗公园
Not the one on Barrington.
不要去巴林顿的那个
'Cause there's an unsnipped chow
那里有只没阉过的松狮狗
always tries to hump her silly.
总是想搞她
Oh, hi, Mr. Pritchett.
你好 普里契特先生
Hey, Lucy.
你好 露西
Lucy likes you.
露西喜欢你
Hey, Claire, check out my new shirt.
克莱尔 看看我的新衬衫
I have you to thank.
我要谢谢你
Oh, no, that's all you.
我可没功劳
You were supposed to talk to her
你应该跟她谈谈的
about storing those zeppelins in a hangar.
让她把那一对爆乳塞进衣服里
I did!
我说了
Well, do it again. Louder. This is a place of business.
再说一遍 大声点 这里是办公场所
She needs to throw a tarp over those bounce houses.
她必须用布把她那俩球罩上
Dad, I think you're the one who's being offensive.
爸爸 我觉得你才是无礼的那个人
It's my company. Take care of it.
这是我的公司 你搞定她
Hello?
What dog park are you at?
你在哪个狗公园
Good afternoon to you, too, Jay.
你也下午好 杰
Stella and I are at rancho.
斯黛拉和我在牧场
Thank god.
谢天谢地
Keep your eye out for randy chows.
你要小心好色的松狮狗[兰迪·周]
The figure skater?
那个花样溜冰运动员吗
Just keep Stella's safe.
保证斯黛拉的安全就好了
Jay, she's fine. She's having a great time.
杰 她很好 她玩得很开心
H-here, I'm gonna send you
等着 我给你发一张
a hilarious picture I just took of her.
刚才我给她拍得滑稽照片
She's never looked happier.
她从未这么开心过
Probably just being polite.
大概只是对你表示礼貌
What the hell am I looking at?
你给我看的是什么
Oh, god, w-what -- what did I send you?
天呐 我给你发了什么
What's that thing around her neck?
她脖子上是什么东西
Uh, that is just a new collar.
那就是条新项圈
Her old one was looking a little tattered.
她以前的项圈太旧了
Don't go buying her presents!
你不许给她买礼物
She's still my dog.
她现在还是我的狗
You're a glorified kennel.
你只是帮我看狗的人
It's just a fun little collar that I bejeweled.
那只是我用珠宝装饰的一个小项圈
What's next? You gonna dress her in fishnets,
下一步是什么 你要给她穿上网袜
put her in a window in Amsterdam?
把她放到阿姆斯特丹的橱窗里吗
Just keep it casual!
随意一点就好
Oh, my god. You're such a slut.
天呐 你真是个荡妇
Oh, I love it.
我爱死了
Nothing, I'm just taking my sister
没什么 我只是带我妹妹
to a college interview at a coffee shop.
来咖啡店参加大学面试
I know, right?
我知道 不是吗
Oh, I totally forgot to tell you what happened last night.
我差点忘了告诉你昨晚发生的事了
Lisa, Enzo, and I were at a bar in Echo Park,
丽莎 恩佐和我在回音公园的一个酒吧
and Enzo was like,
然后恩佐说
"My dream is to run the bases at Dodger Stadium."
"我的梦想就是在道奇体育场跑垒"
So I'm like, "Screw it, let's do it."
于是我说"管它呢 我们这就去吧"
So, Lisa tucks her hair up to a baseball cap,
丽莎把头发塞到棒球帽里面
and we convince the grounds keeper that she's Justin Bieber
我们跟看场的人说她是贾斯汀·比伯
and that "Justin" will take a picture with him.
而"贾斯汀"愿意跟他合影
And it worked!
居然成功了
No, you shut up! That's not even the best part.
不 你闭嘴 这还不是最精彩的部分
Enzo starts running the bases,
恩佐开始跑垒
and he whips his shirt off.
他把衣服脱下来扔了出去
And Lisa gets caught up in it and takes off her shirt,
丽莎也进入状态 把上衣脱了
And the grounds keeper's like,
然后看场人就说
"Whoa, you're not Justin Bieber."
"你不是贾斯汀·比伯"
So he starts chasing us around with a rake.
然后他就开始拿着靶子追我们
I know!
我知道
Oh, wait. Who is that?
等等 那是谁
Denise? Put that dirty hooker on the phone.
丹尼丝吗 让那个婊子来接电话
Hey, girl. Did I tell you what happened last night?
姐妹 我告诉你昨晚发生的事了吗
So, Enzo said that his dream
恩佐说他的梦想就是
was to run the bases at Dodger Stadium,
在道奇体育场跑垒
- and I was like, "Screw it, let's do it." - Oh, my god!
-我说"管它呢 我们这就去吧" -老天呐
Do you ever stop talking?!
你的嘴就不能歇一会儿吗
I am sitting here trying to mentally prepare
我坐在这里试图在精神上
for one of the most important moments of my life,
为我一生中最重要的时刻做准备
so can you please just shut up?
能不能麻烦你把嘴闭上
I know, right?
我知道 不是吗
All right, looks like they're finishing up.
好了 看起来他们要结束了
I should probably go in now.
我现在应该进去了
Ooh, tell her cute dress -- Nanette Lepore, fall collection.
告诉她裙子很可爱 公主娜娜的秋装
Great. I'll open with, "Cute dress."
好极了 我就用"可爱的裙子"开场
Cute dress.
可爱的裙子
Andy, 36 hours to the open house.
安迪 离开放日还有36小时
You ready?
准备好了吗
I was born ready.
我生来就准备好了
Actually, that's not true.
事实上 那是假的
I was two months premature,
我早产了两个月
weighed three and a half pounds.
生下来才三斤重
I'm a little nervous.
我有点紧张
There's only one way to get over that --
只有一个方法来解决...
Mock open house!
模拟开放日
Starting in five...four...
倒数计时 五 四...
Uh, business card!
忘了拿名片
You're not Andy.
你不是安迪
Sorry to disappoint you.
抱歉让你失望了
I'm here!
我在这
Welcome. Come on in.
欢迎 快进来
Thank you.
谢谢你
What's happening?
在干什么
I was about to give Mr. Dunphy here
我要带邓菲先生
a tour of this beautiful open house.
参观这所漂亮的大房子
I do not know who Mr. Dunphy is, although he sounds cool.
我不认识邓菲先生 虽然听起来他很酷
I'm just a handsome plastic surgeon relocating from Tucson.
我只是从图森搬来的帅气的整形医生
And I'm his son.
我是他的儿子
Good idea. Pretend to be my son.
好主意 假装是我的儿子
So, is this the kitchen?
这就是厨房吗
Great question. Yes, it is.
问得好 这就是厨房
Fully updated with an open floor plan,
完全更新成为开放式厨房
perfect for large families.
大家庭的完美选择
Do you and the missus have other kids?
你和你的夫人还有别的孩子吗
Nope, just me, so it's way too big.
没有 就我一个 所以这有点太大了
You seem terrible at your job.
你看起来工作能力很差
I don't know.
我不知道
You seem like a family with a lot of friends.
你们看起来像是拥有很多朋友的家庭
It's great for entertaining.
招待客人的话会很方便
How diverse is the neighborhood?
这里的邻居多元化情况怎么样
I only ask because I'm married
我这样问是因为
to a beautiful African-American woman.
我娶了一位非洲裔的美人
I can't say who,
不能告诉你她是谁
but you may know her from "Avatar."
不过你在《阿凡达》里见过她
This neighborhood has a wonderful mix
住在这一带的人
of different cultures and ethnicities.
来自不同的民族和种族
- Ooh, sounds dangerous. - Luke...
-听起来很危险 -卢克
Here's all you need to know --
你们要知道的就是
In the last two years, home values in this neighborhood
在过去的两年里 这附近的房产价值
have increased by twice the city average.
已经比城市平均值高了两倍
It's quiet. It's safe.
这里很安静 也很安全
I can't think of a better place
我想不到有什么地方比这里
to raise a beautiful mixed-race family.
更适合建立一个美丽的混血家庭
I'm gonna have to have a quick conversation with Zoe,
我要跟佐伊简单谈一下
but I think you just sold a house.
不过我想你已经卖出了这套房子
Yes!
太好了
Good. Is this finally done?
太好了 终于完了
'Cause, dad, I was thinking maybe you and I
爸爸 我想你和我是不是该
could put on tuxedos and test-drive Rolls-Royces.
穿上燕尾服去劳斯莱斯试驾
Aw, Luke, I'm sorry. I wish I could,
卢克 对不起 真希望我能去
but I already promised Andy I'd teach him how to tie a tie.
不过我已经答应安迪教他怎么系领带了
Come on, buddy. I got a song and everything.
来吧伙计 我有首系领带的小曲子教给你
I have to let you know,
我必须要告诉你
my neck is extraordinarily ticklish.
我的脖子特别怕痒
You don't say.
是真的吗
Don't you dare.
你敢
Don't. Don't!
不要 不要
- Get over here! - No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
-快过来 -不 不要
It was so nice to meet you, Gita.
很高兴见到你 吉塔
I'll be sure to send you that recording of my bassoon solo.
我会发给你我的大管独奏录音的
You'd better!
最好是
Could you kill me over the phone?
你能隔着电话杀了我吗
Oh, my God. These kids are all the same.
天呐 这些孩子全都一样
Please tell me
请告诉我
we weren't this aggressively boring when we applied.
我们申请的时候没有这么无聊到爆
It's all debate team, orchestra, A.P., GPA.
都是辩论队 管弦乐队 预科 高绩点
I wanted to smack one of them in her smug little face,
我真想一巴掌糊上她洋洋自得的脸
But I'm pretty sure she was a robot.
不过我觉得她就是个机器人
I can't believe I'm missing spinning for this.
不敢相信我还要为此而错过动感单车课
Hi. I'm Alex Dunphy.
你好 我是艾丽克斯·邓菲
I got to go.
我得挂了
Oh, great. Have a seat. I'm Vanessa.
太好了 请坐 我是瓦内萨
Would you like some coffee?
想来点咖啡吗
No, thanks, but I actually have a crazy fact about coffee --
不 谢谢 但关于咖啡有这么个故事
bees love caffeine because it's found in nectar,
蜜蜂喜欢咖啡因 因为花蜜里也有
but I don't know that much about B's,
不过我对B的了解没那么多
as you can see from my transcript.
我的成绩单上大多是A
So, I see here that you're on the debate team
你资料上说你是辩论队的
and you play the cello.
你还拉大提琴
Yes, but I am so much more than that.
是的 不过我的生活远不止这些
I'm also a part of the French club.
我还是法语俱乐部的
Tell me more.
跟我说说
I'm so sorry for wasting your time.
很抱歉浪费了你的时间
This was a big mistake.
我犯了个大错
I'm probably not Princeton material anyways.
我也许不是上普林斯顿的料
I mean, I spent most of last night
我昨晚大部分时间
in the back of a squad car.
都待在一部警察巡逻车后座
Wait, what?
等等 什么
Well, crazy story --
疯狂的故事
My friend Enzo's dream
我朋友恩佐的梦想
was to run the bases at Dodger stadium.
是在道奇体育场上跑垒
And I was just like, "Screw it, let's do it."
我说 "管它呢 我们这就去吧"
Oh, by the way, cute dress.
顺便说一句 裙子很好看
Is that a Nanette Lepore?
是"公主娜娜"的吗
Oh, my God, yes. Good eye.
是的 眼光不错
So, what happened next?
然后呢
Well, then my friend Lisa
然后我朋友丽莎
tucks her hair up into a baseball cap,
把头发塞进棒球帽
and we convince the grounds keeper that she's Justin Bieber
跟看场的人说她是贾斯汀·比伯
and that "Justin" will take a picture with him.
而贾斯汀愿意跟他合个影
Oh, my God.
天呐
You're so naughty. I love it.
你真淘气 我喜欢
You know it, slut.
你知道的 贱人
Oh, my God. I am so sorry.
天呐 真抱歉
Aww, you're cooking us a steak dinner -- how sweet.
晚餐你给我们做牛排吗 太棒了
Yeah, I came home from work early to cook us dinner.
是啊 我提前下班回来做我们的晚餐
That's crazy.
你疯了吗
This is for Stella.
这是给斯黛拉的
Ay, Jay...
You don't know what I'm competing with over there.
你不知道我面临多强的竞争对手
Cameron's wooing her with belly rubs,
卡梅隆帮她按摩肚皮
jewelry, kisses on the mouth.
买珠宝 亲嘴嘴
I just want her to remember who loves her the most.
我就想让她记得谁最爱她
I don't think Stella is ever going to forget
我不觉得斯黛拉会忘记
how much you love her,
你有多爱她
No matter how much time
不管她跟米奇和小卡
she needs to stay with Mitch and Cam.
还要一同度过多少时间
What are you talking about? She's coming home Friday.
你在说什么 她周五就回来
That's the thing.
是这样的
Look.
The rash is gone.
疹子没了
Well, we don't know that's Stella.
我们不能确定是不是因为斯黛拉
A lot of things cause rashes.
很多原因都会造成疹子
Maybe he's less stressed this week than last.
说不定他只是没有上周那么大压力了
What's going on?
发生什么事了
We have to get rid of Stella.
我们得送走斯黛拉
Slow down. We haven't decided anything yet.
等等 我们还没作出决定呢
Yes, we have. It's what's best for Joe.
我们决定好了 这是对乔最好的
And for whatever it's worth, my eyes have stopped itching,
而且值得一提 我的眼睛也不痒了
I can taste my food, and I have more energy.
我能尝出食物的味儿 也更有精神了
You took a three-hour nap yesterday.
你昨天打了三个小时的盹
I was tired from the marathon.
马拉松之后我太累了
The "Downton Abbey" Marathon?
看《唐顿庄园》马拉松吗
That family is exhausting.
那个家族太累人了
I can't believe this.
我简直不敢相信
Ah, Jay, I'm so sorry.
杰 抱歉
Maybe you can get a fish!
要不你养条鱼吧
'cause it's so much cuter driving down the road
当然 因为开车时让你的宠物鱼
with your fish's head sticking out the window.
把头潇洒地伸出窗外要"酷"多了
Fish!
Oh, my God.
天呐
Are you here for another lecture?
你要来再给我上一课吗
Because you made your point loud and clear.
你已经讲得够明白了
I'm keeping it casual.
我已经很随意了
I haven't even looked at Stella this morning.
我今早都没正眼看过斯黛拉
Okay, do not read too much into that --
好吧 别想太多
I just took that off one of Lily's Teddy Bears.
那是我从莉莉的泰迪熊身上脱下来的
It's fine.
没事
I'm glad you guys are spoiling her,
你们宠她我挺高兴的
because I won't be able to anymore.
因为我已经没法宠她了
Joe's allergic.
乔对她过敏
No.
不是吧
Yeah, and I figured since she likes you so much,
而且既然她这么喜欢你们
maybe you guys could keep her.
你们可以一直养着她
Well, I mean, if that's what's best for everyone.
如果这样对所有人都好的话
Maybe you better check with Mitch first?
你要不要先跟米奇商量一下
He'll deal.
他会同意的
I made her a steak.
我给她做了块牛排
Okay.
好吧
And this is her daybed.
这是她的沙发床
I guess I better say goodbye.
我也许该道个别了
Hi, sweetie.
亲爱的
Come here. I want to talk to you.
过来 我想跟你聊一下
Now, honey,
好了 宝贝
you're gonna live here from now on.
你以后就要住在这里了
Don't give me that look.
别这么看着我
It wasn't anything you did.
你什么都没做错
You've been the best dog I could ever have asked for,
你是世界上最好的狗狗
and I love you very much. So...
我非常爱你 所以
stay away from cars...
注意避开车子
Don't eat anything pointy...
不要吃锋利的东西
and be a good girl.
做个乖女孩
Goodbye, Stella-bella.
再见 斯黛拉宝贝
I didn't think I'd get through that without crying.
不敢相信我居然没哭出来
Me neither.
我也是
Hey, dad, check out this video.
老爸 来看这个视频
It's a teacup pig playing a piano.
一头茶杯猪在弹钢琴
I saw that. Andy sent it to me.
我看过了 安迪给我发的
Unbelievable.
不可思议
That's what I thought,
我开始也这么想
but then Andy and I did some digging.
不过我们后来做了调查
It turns out pigs are crazy musical.
原来猪超有音乐天赋
Good ol' Andy.
又是安迪
Is something up, buddy?
有什么问题吗
I said "no" one time.
我就拒绝了你一次
And suddenly it's all "Andy this" and "Andy that."
结果现在你说的都是安迪怎么怎么样
Well, I didn't mean anything by it.
我没别的意思
It just seemed like you needed some space,
你看上去需要一点个人空间
so I gave it to you.
所以我给你空间
I get it.
我懂的
You're at that age when you want to separate.
你到了想独立自主的年纪
Yeah, I separate from you,
是我从你那独立出来
not the other way around.
而不是反过来
Maybe I don't want to do dumb stuff with you all the time,
也许我不想老跟着你做一些傻事
but
可是
that doesn't mean you get to replace me.
这不代表你能找人取代我
What?
什么
Are you kidding me? I could never replace you.
你开玩笑吗 我永远不可能找人取代你
If it were up to me, we'd do everything together.
如果我来决定 我们会一起做所有的事
Really?
真的吗
Yeah, I'd go to college with you.
我会跟你一起读大学
We'd-we'd be roommates. We'd try to join a frat.
我们可以当室友 一起进兄弟会
None of them would take us.
没有一个兄弟会愿意要我们
We'd start our own.
我们自己办一个
Oh, my God. That sounds amazing.
天呐 听起来太棒了
Why wouldn't they take us?
为什么没人要我们
Well, yeah, they'd take me, but I'd be like,
他们肯定会要我 但我会说
"No way, Bradley,
想都别想 布拉德利
not without my little pal, here."
没有我的小伙伴我是不会来的
I have mixed feelings about that, dad.
关于这个 我心情有点复杂
Do you have mixed feelings about a hug?
你对一个拥抱也会心情复杂吗
Yes.
Well, I need one, so I guess I'm gonna go hug Andy.
我需要个拥抱 那我去拥抱安迪了
Fine.
好吧
Hey, Judy, that was a hilarious e-mail.
朱迪 那封邮件太好笑了
Pickles are better than men.
酸黄瓜比男人更好用
Did you get that? It was so--
你懂吗 太好笑了
Have you done any work since you came here?
你来这之后有干活吗
I'm working the room.
我在调动工作气氛
There he is. Sport coat.
看 运动装帅哥
Sport coat?
运动装
I can't believe these idiots think you're funny.
真不敢相信 这些白痴居然觉得你幽默
Okay. You know, I have a theory
说起来 我有个理论
why people here don't like you.
是关于为何这里的人不喜欢你
I know why they don't like me.
我知道他们为何不喜欢我
It's cause dad makes me do all his dirty work.
因为老爸把得罪人的活都扔给我了
Look at this list of people I'm supposed to reprimand today.
看看我今天要训斥多少人
Let's see here.
来看看
Well, he does have a point, Glen does smell.
他确实是对的 格伦有体臭
I'm gonna start with Lucy.
我要先从露西开始
Lucy, the last person who likes me.
露西 唯一喜欢我的人
Oh, it's okay.
没关系的
Hey, Luce.
露西
Hey, Claire. I got you one of those cookies that you like.
克莱尔 我给你留了你喜欢的饼干
Oh, don't make this harder than it has to be.
别让我更加不忍心开口
- Is there something wrong? - Yes.
-出什么事了吗 -的确有事
It's not easy for me to discuss, but--
开口说这个很难 不过
Claire, I got this.
克莱尔 我来吧
It's my complaint. I got it.
毕竟是我的投诉 我来
Lucy...
露西
you're at work, so please dress like it.
你是在上班 所以请穿得像上班
These "Tops" that you wear are completely inappropriate.
你穿的这些上衣完全不得体
Sorry to offend you.
抱歉冒犯到你了
You know what?
你知道吗
While I'm at it, Glen, shower more often.
反正都要说的 格伦 你得勤洗澡
Chuck, stop using "Reply all."
查克 别再随便用"回复给所有人"
A-and, Doris, no one cares
还有多莉丝 没人在乎
about what you dreamt about last night.
你昨晚都梦到了什么
Let's keep in mind this is a place of business, folks,
大家都记住了 这里是工作场所
all right?
明白了吗
This feels good.
感觉真好
Is there a Carl?!
有没有人叫卡尔
Lawyers.
高傲的律师
Am I right, sport coat?
我说得没错吧 运动装
That's not sport coat.
那不是他
I'm home.
我回来了
Oh, hi. How are you feeling?
你感觉怎么样
I'll be fine.
我会没事的
Oh, Jay, I'm so proud of you.
杰 我真为你骄傲
You made a sacrifice today.
今天你做出了牺牲
You did the right thing for your son.
为了自己的儿子 你做了正确的选择
Look how happy he is.
看他有多开心
I guess.
可能吧
Wait a minute.
等等
- What's that on his neck? - What?
-他脖子上是什么 -什么
His rash came back.
他的皮疹又复发了
No.
You must have some Stella on you.
你的手肯定沾到了斯黛拉的狗毛
No, no, I went to straight to the club after.
不 我之后直接去了俱乐部
Took a shower, maybe cried a little bit in there,
在那洗了个澡 哭了一下
changed clothes to make sure.
重新换了衣服
Plus, I just got here.
何况我才刚回来呢
A rash would take longer to come out.
皮疹长出来的时间比这长
What's that smell?
那是什么味道
- What smell? - It smells like flowers or something.
-什么味道 -闻起来像花
I didn't get any flowers.
我可没买花
I smell something, Gloria.
我闻到味道了 歌洛莉亚
What's new around here?
家里有什么东西不一样
The fact that you noticed something.
不一样的就是你觉得有东西不一样
It's you.
就是你
What's new? What?
什么是新的 是什么呢
Perfume, lipstick?
香水 还是唇膏
I'm getting lavender with,
我闻到了薰衣草 还有
I want to say rose hips.
还有玫瑰果
It's your face cream!
是你的面霜
I did buy some more this morning, but--
我今早是买了几瓶 不过
The same kind that Stella was eating
你买的是乔的皮疹消褪前
before Joe's rash cleared up?
斯黛拉吃的那种面霜吗
And now you're wearing it again, and his rash is back?
现在你抹回了面霜 他的皮疹又回来了
No, it can't be my face cream!
不可能是我的面霜
Please don't make me say goodbye to my face cream!
不要让我跟心爱的面霜告别
Stella was eating it to save Joe!
斯黛拉吃面霜是为了救乔
But that still doesn't explain
但这还是不能解释
why I'm still feeling so much better.
为什么我感觉好多了
I can breathe for th--
我可以呼吸
Stella's coming home a hero!
斯黛拉要作为"狗雄"回家啦
Lily, can you come out here, please?
莉莉 你能出来一下吗
Why do we have to do this?
为什么要这么做
Because she's become attached, Jay.
因为她们产生了感情 杰
She's even sleeping with her now.
她们现在都要一起睡觉
Hi, grandpa.
外公
Hi, honey.
亲爱的
Lily, do you remember how I said
莉莉 你记得我说过
Stella was gonna be staying with us from now on?
斯黛拉从今以后要和我们住在一起吗
Well, it turns out...
事实上
she's gonna go home with grandpa.
她要和外公一起回去了
Okay.
好吧
Lily, it's important to express your feelings.
莉莉 表达自己的感受很重要
Don't bottle them up.
不要把它们藏在心里
Okay. I can finally sleep without all of her snoring!
我睡觉终于不用听她打呼了
All right, enough. Hand her over.
够了 把她给我
Come here, baby.
到这来 宝贝
What is that?
那是什么
"给我法式湿吻"
Please don't make fun of me. I'm very vulnerable right now.
别笑我 我现在很脆弱
Can you get me one?
你能帮我弄一件吗