摩登家庭 第六季 Modern Family Season 6 第14集: Valentine's Day 4 Twisted Sister

上映日期: 2,014

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 贝丝·麦卡锡-米勒

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 诺兰·古德 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 奥布里·


台词
Honey?
亲爱的
Did you remember to give Alex
你记得给艾丽克斯
and Luke their lunch money?
和卢克午饭钱了吗
Ma'am, yes, ma'am.
记得 长官
What about the electrician? Did you give him a check?
电工呢 你给他支票了吗
He's an electrician -- he'll charge us.
他是电工 他会给我们收费[充电]
I'm gonna be late for work, Shecky.
我上班要迟到了 石基[喜剧演员]
Yes, I paid him.
当然了 我付钱给他了
Happy Valentine's, by the way.
顺便说句 情人节快乐
Mm, no.
不行
Gross and sweaty from running.
跑完步都是汗 恶心死了
So for later tonight,
今晚的计划
You thinking what I'm thinking, Valentine?
你跟我想的一样吗 我的情人
I believe I am.
我相信是一样的
克里夫·比克斯比
Every Valentine's day,
每次情人节
Claire and I look forward to some naughty role-playing --
克莱尔和我都会玩点儿刺激的角色扮演
sexually adventurous cuckolder Juliana
性感狂野的奸夫淫妇朱莉安娜
and Clive Bixby,
和克里夫·比克斯比
speaker salesman by day, spy by night.
白天是扬声器推销员 晚上变身间谍
Lover also by night
同时也是情人
and sometimes during the day.
有时候白天也是
The speaker business, it -- it pretty much runs itself.
扬声器生意 基本不用管
I just want to keep it really low-key this year.
我希望今年非常低调
You know, simple.
简单就好
Yep.
On the other hand,
另一方面
we could have
我们也可以去
a drink at that hotel bar we love.
我们喜欢的那家旅馆酒吧喝一杯
Go on.
接着说
And come straight home...
然后直接回家
Put on our Jammies,
穿上睡衣裤
and fall asleep in front of the TV.
看着电视渐渐入睡
Perfect.
完美
Looking forward to it already.
已经好期待了
Ew, but not those ones I hate,
但不要穿我讨厌的那些
those red satin pajamas.
红缎子睡衣
I don't even know where those are.
我都不知道那些在哪儿
家 庭
摩 登
第六季 第十四集
I know I'll get over it,
我知道我会放下的
but right now I hate Anders and Cooper.
但现在我真的好讨厌安德斯和库珀
Our dear friends Anders and Cooper
我们亲爱的朋友安德斯和库珀
got married last Valentine's Day,
去年情人节结婚了
and we wanted to get them something really special.
我们想送他们点特别的礼物
We found this exquisite little painting...
我们找到了一副精美的小油画
...of a winery in Napa
画上是我们去年在纳帕
that we all visited last year.
一起参观的一座酒庄
It was a...bit pricey,
有一点点...贵
but they're really judge-y
但他们很挑剔
and we knew they'd love it.
我们知道他们一定会喜欢的
The problem is, so did we.
问题是 我们也喜欢
Thank you, Carmelina.
谢谢 卡尔梅利纳
Oh, and here's s-something you can...
这里有个礼物麻烦你
put in the other room.
放到其他房间
- That was hard. - So hard.
-好艰难 -太艰难了
Probably how Lily's birth mother felt.
也许莉莉的亲生母亲当初也是这感觉
Except we don't have nine
但是我们可没有
other paintings by five different painters.
另外五位画家画的九幅油画
Oh, my God. Mitch, Cam.
天呐 米奇 小卡
Oh, God, are we early?
天呐 我们来早了吗
- This is so not like us. - I'm sorry.
-这可不是我们的风格 -很抱歉
No, no, no. The party's been canceled.
不不不 派对已经取消了
- Why? - Cooper's left me.
-为什么 -库珀把我甩了
He's filing for divorce.
他正在申请离婚
The marriage is over!
我们结束了
- Ohh, Anders. - Anders.
-安德斯 -安德斯
I thought we were in love.
我还以为我们是相爱的
You think you know the person sleeping in the next bedroom.
你以为你了解睡在隔壁房间的那个人
I'll get us some drinks.
我去给你们拿点酒
So sad.
好可怜
Yeah, it doesn't have to be.
是啊 也不一定
If it's really love,
如果是真爱
you do everything you need to do to get back
你就要尽一切可能争取回
what you once had.
你曾经拥有的一切
You're talking about the painting, right?
你在说那幅画吧
Of course I am 'cause we don't owe him that anymore.
当然了 因为我们不欠他什么了
- Go get it! - Okay.
-去拿吧 -好了
Go get it.
快去拿
You must have big plans today.
你今天一定有什么重大计划吧
This is like your Super Bowl, right?
这节日简直就是你的超级碗大赛
I'm sitting it out this year.
今年我不打算采取行动
The whole holiday's gotten laughably commercial.
这个节日已经商业化到可笑的地步了
[Turn-down service: 豪华酒店的"开床服务"]
Sounds like Amy turned you down.
看来你被艾米拒绝了
Like a bed in a five-star hotel.
就像豪华酒店的床一样
I'll be drowning my sorrows
我要慢慢地在
in a marathon of my new favorite true-crime show,
我的新欢罪案剧中忘掉我的悲伤
"Lethal Ladies."
《致命女士》
Amy may have dumped me,
艾米也许是甩了我
but at least it wasn't off the lido deck
但至少不是从嘉年华游轮的甲板上
of a Carnival Cruise.
把我的尸体甩出去
I know, Sonia.
我知道 桑娅
Look who's back -- the Sangria sisters.
瞧瞧谁回来了 桑格利亚姐妹花
I invited my sister to visit
我邀请我妹妹来作客
so that we could fix our problems.
好解决我们之间的矛盾
You know, sister things,
你懂的 姐妹间的小摩擦
like I never liked how she always borrowed my brush,
比如我很讨厌她总是借我的梳子
or she never liked
而她也很讨厌
how I stole her one chance to escape the village
我抢了她离开小村庄的机会
and I left her there, taking care of my mother.
而把她留在那里 照顾我母亲
Things like that.
类似的事情
Jay, they delayed Sonia's flight until tomorrow.
杰 桑娅的航班延误到了明天
Why don't we cancel our dinner reservation
我们何不取消晚餐预订
and the three of us celebrate Valentine's here?
我们三个一起在家里庆祝情人节
You don't have to do that for me, Gloria.
你不用为了我这么做 歌洛莉亚
I usually spend Valentine's Day
情人节我通常都在
selling artificial flowers near the well in my village.
村子那口井附近卖手工花
Where do you people live, National Geographic?
你们都住哪儿啊 《国家地理》杂志吗
I just feel so bad.
这样我会很内疚
You have both shown me such kindness this week,
你们这星期对我这么好
and I repay you with bad weather over Tampa.
我却只给你们带来坏天气
No, this is better.
不会 这样更好
It gets crazy out there.
外面过节的人太多了
I'm happy to avoid the fuss.
能避开那些纷扰我很开心
Wouldn't have minded a little fuss.
有点纷扰也不错
Maybe I've been kind of feeling taken for granted lately.
我感觉最近有点被忽视了
I know only girls are
我知道只有小姑娘
supposed to care about Valentine's day, but --
才会在乎什么情人节 但是
Ah, what am I crying about?
我在哀嚎什么啊
We get paid more, so what the hell?
我们赚的钱多 管它呢
Cooper didn't even have the decency
库珀做人太不地道了
to leave me in time to cancel the caterer.
都没给我时间取消派对厨师预约
I have 300 of this wasabi shrimp if you're hungry.
如果你有胃口 这有三百只芥末大虾
Oh, no, thank you.
不用了 谢谢
Sardine rillettes, olive crostini --
沙丁鱼肉酱 橄榄脆吐司
What am I supposed to do with all of this?
要怎么才能吃完啊
Carmelina, that's for company.
卡尔梅利纳 那是给客人吃的
Oh, well, there's Cam, so we should probably go.
小卡来了 我们该走了
Oh, you were gone so long, I was afraid you'd woken mother.
你离开了好久 我还担心你吵醒了我妈
Uh, m-mother?
妈妈
Didn't I mention?
我没提到吗
She's recuperating here, just had both hips replaced.
她在这里康复 刚置换了两个髋关节
Oh, that reminds me --
那提醒了我
I should put on the security camera in her room.
我该把摄像头安在她房间里
- Did you get it? - Yes.
-你拿到了吗 -拿到了
And guess where they keep the last-minute wedding gifts?
猜猜他们把最后送来的结婚礼物放在哪里
Hint -- apparently you need your original hips
提示一下 显然你需要原来的髋关节
to keep a nightgown closed.
才能让睡衣合上
Well, I'm glad you stopped by.
很高兴你们过来了
I really needed this.
我真的很需要
Oh, Cam, get in here.
小卡 来吧
Oh, I have a little bit of a sniffle.
我有点鼻塞
Oh, come on.
来吧
What's this?
这是什么
Uh, that is, um --
那是...
That's a wedding gift for you and Cooper,
送给你和库珀的结婚礼物
but once we heard, we didn't think it was appropriate.
但我们听说后 就觉得这不合适
Oh, are you kidding?
你开玩笑吗
There's no bad time for a gift.
收礼物就没有不合适的时候
I'm -- I'm sorry it's so late.
抱歉 我们送得太晚了
We just wanted to get you something
我们只是想送你
that you would really cherish.
你会珍爱的东西
Pretty much the best gift we've ever given anyone.
这是我们送出的最棒的礼物
Yeah, it's -- it's a beautiful...
是啊 这是很漂亮的...
Cheese plate!
奶酪盘
Yes, I got that from the...
是的 看到这异想天开的措辞
whimsical phrasing.
我就知道了
Are you sure you won't stay for one more,
你们确定不留下再喝一杯吗
especially now since I've got this
特别是现在我有了这个
stylish cheese-delivery system?
时髦的传送奶酪的系统
- Just one, yeah. - Great.
-就一杯 -真棒
What happened?!
怎么回事
Obviously there were two gifts wrapped similarly,
显然有两个包装得很像的礼物
and my eyes were watering
而我的眼睛里含着泪水
from the thick fog of Vaporub back there.
因为那房间里充斥着药膏味道
Okay, well, we got nothing to lose now,
反正我们现在无所畏惧了
so go back and get the painting.
回去拿那幅画
You know who gave him that cheap thing?
你知道谁送了他那个便宜的东西吗
J'marcus. She's got the first dollar she ever earned --
杰玛库斯 她赚的第一块钱都还在呢
Just go!
快去吧
Once Sonia blew up my Valentine's Day,
桑娅毁了我的情人节之后
I could have sat around feeling sorry for myself.
我本可以坐着为自己感到难过
Instead, I had a little chuckle,
但我轻笑了一会儿
and I got the dog a gift.
然后给狗狗买了礼物
I know it's silly getting Stella a present...
我知道这很愚蠢 给斯黛拉买礼物
So close to her birthday.
她的生日快到了
Is she around?
她在吗
I think she's upstairs in the bath.
我觉得她在楼上的浴室里
What? I just gave her a bath this morning.
什么 我今早刚给她洗过澡
Oh, you're talking about Stella.
你说的是斯黛拉
Wait, you got the dog a gift?
等等 你给狗狗买了礼物吗
Lot of attitude
你没资格评判我
for a guy whose date's a tub of
你的约会对象是一桶冰淇淋
ice cream and a fuzzy robe.
和一条毛绒绒的睡袍
You're spending Valentine's Day in a "Cathy" cartoon.
你简直就像《凯西》漫画里的主人公
Hey, what's all this?
这是干什么
I thought the three of us
我还以为我们三个
were just gonna order something in.
就叫点外卖呢
No. I ruined your night enough.
不 我已经毁了你们的夜晚
I'm cooking for you and Gloria
我要给你和歌洛莉亚做饭
so you can have a romantic evening alone.
好让你们独自度过浪漫的夜晚
Sonia, you don't have to do this.
桑娅 你没必要这样做
I want to.
我想这样
It makes me so happy to prepare food for you.
为你们准备食物我觉得很开心
Maybe someday I'll be preparing it for a husband of my own.
也许以后我也会给自己的老公做饭
Thank you for not laughing and falling on the floor
谢谢你没有笑到在地上打滚
like my mother does when I say such things.
我说这种话时我妈妈就会那样做
You know, it being Valentine's Day and all, I, uh --
今天是情人节 我...
I got you a little something.
我给你准备了点东西
Ooh, laundry?
有要洗的衣服吗
No.
Here.
给你
I can't.
不行
Come on! Open it.
来吧 打开
Here, see that "S" there?
瞧见这个"S"了吗
That's for "Sonia."
代表桑娅
Oh, Jay, it's so beautiful.
杰 好漂亮
I don't know what to...
我不知道该怎么...
Thank you!
谢谢你
When will I learn?
我什么时候会学到教训
I'm catnip to sister-in-laws.
我太吸引小姨子了
Years ago, I was sitting next to Dede's sister Cece
多年前 感恩节晚餐时 我坐在迪迪的姐姐
at Thanksgiving dinner,
西西旁边
and I threw a little charm her way.
我对她施展了一些魅力
You know, flash the baby blues.
眨了眨蓝眼睛
And before I know it,
我还没反应过来
she's rubbing her size 12s up and down my shin.
她就用12码的脚在我的胫骨上摩擦了
Dede caught her,
迪迪发现了
went over the table at her.
走去桌子那边跟她打了起来
It took me and her sister Bebe to separate them.
靠她姐碧碧和我才把她俩分开
Hey, where are you?
你在哪里
I've been trying you for 15 minutes.
我都给你打了15分钟的电话了
I know. We ran late.
我知道 会议延迟了
And then the car wouldn't start,
然后车又没法发动
so I had to call AAA.
我不得不打给汽车协会
They said they're on their way, but who knows?
他们说在来的路上了 但谁知道呢
I'm all greasy.
我急得满脸冒油
Oh, honey, I don't think I'm gonna make it.
亲爱的 我觉得我没法过去了
Don't be mad.
别生气
I am mad.
我很生气
You were supposed to be here 20 minutes ago.
你本该20分钟前到的
This is the one night we set aside for us.
这是我们为我俩留出的一夜
I know, and I feel terrible,
我知道 我觉得很糟糕
but listen, finish your drink, come on home.
但是听着 喝完酒 回家去
Maybe we'll have a romantic Easter.
也许我们可以过个浪漫的复活节
Check, please.
买单
I understand that your wife has had some car trouble.
我听说你妻子的车出了故障
I wonder how that could have happened?
那是怎么回事啊
I must say, Juliana,
我必须说 朱莉安娜
you're the last person I expected to see here tonight.
我今晚绝对没想到会在这里见到你
Well, with any luck,
如果走运的话
you'll be the last person I do see tonight.
你今晚会是我看到的最后一个人
Oh, my God.
天啊
Phil, I've had my eye on you for years.
菲尔 我注意你好几年了
I'm just so happy
我很高兴
we're finally gonna get some alone time.
我们终于能独处一段时间了
I'm not scaring you, am I?
我没吓到你吧
Quite the contrary.
恰恰相反
Most women who meet me
大部分见到我的女人
almost instantly ask for some alone time.
立刻就要求跟我独处
Excuse me.
抱歉
Darn it!
该死
My showing was pushed up tomorrow morning.
我带客户看房的事提前到明早了
I-I may have to make it an early one.
我也许得早点回去
Are you sure?
你确定吗
'Cause you only have one night with me, tiger,
因为你跟我只有一晚上的时间 猛虎
and I'm as flexible
而我就和
as a government-insured, zero-down,
政府担保的零首付
variable-rate mortgage.
浮息按揭一样灵活
Who are you?
你到底是谁
What do you say we get out of here?
不如我们离开这里怎么样
- What are you doing? - Run, run!
-你在干什么 -跑 快跑
But we haven't even paid for this.
可这瓶酒还没付钱呢
We're outlaws, baby. Go, go!
我们是法外狂徒 宝贝 快跑
That was such a rush!
刚才可真是太刺激了
You've never stolen anything before?
你以前从没偷过什么东西吧
Only the entire show
我只在高中时
of my high-school production of "The wiz,"
偷了整场《绿野仙踪》表演的风头
but I don't think that's --
不过我认为那不算是...
Oh, glass elevator. Should make for an exciting view.
观光电梯 可以看到绝美的风景了
It will for the people on the street.
是街上的行人会看到绝美的风景了
Oh, my God.
天呐
I didn't even hear them get on.
我根本没听见他们上来了
Well, maybe it's time for an ear cleaning.
也许你该掏耳朵了
I don't know, you just sluiced them out pretty good.
不用了 你刚才把它们冲得很干净了
I'm getting kind of hot, Phil.
我觉得有点热 菲尔
What do you say we cool off a bit?
你说我们去凉快一下怎么样
屋顶游泳池天黑后勿进
Aw, that would have been great, Juliana.
这主意简直太棒了 朱莉安娜
Too bad it's after...dark.
可惜已经天黑了
Sorceress.
女巫
You were right, Juliana.
你说得对 朱莉安娜
This cool night air is just the thing.
这清凉的晚风正是我们所需要的
Would the lady like my coat
这位女士需要我的外套吗
so she doesn't catch a col--
这样就不会感冒...
Does that mean what I think it does?
跟我想的是一样的吗
Water's a little chilly.
水有点凉
Think you can come in here and help me warm it up?
你能不能下来帮我暖和一下
Baby, they haven't built a pool I couldn't warm a little.
宝贝 还没有我温暖不了的泳池
- Where's Cam? - Uh, tinkling again.
-小卡呢 -又去厕所了
Nature calls so often,
大自然召唤得太勤了
I think she has him on speed dial.
可能把他列入快速拨号了
Oh, what's that?
那是什么
The motion-detector alarm in mother's room
我母亲房里的运动检测器警报
in case she falls out of bed.
为防止她从床上掉下来
I turn it on during cocktails,
酒会的时候我把它打开了
when I tend to forget she's even there.
害怕自己会忘记她还在那里
What's going on? She all right?
怎么了 她没事吧
Yeah, yeah, she's just tossing her leg a little bit.
没事 没事 只是在晃腿
Oh, that kicky thing?
又踢腿了吗
She's either having her rockettes dream
她要么是在做梦跳火箭女郎舞
or her catheter's out.
要么就是她的导尿管掉了
She's fine.
她没事
Oh, we're out of ice!
冰块没有了
The nightmare continues!
噩梦不断啊
God.
老天
米奇尔和卡梅隆的结婚礼物
Hey, I got it.
我找到了
Okay, put it back.
好 快放回去
I can't possibly have heard you correctly.
我一定是听错了吧
There is a box over there with a Santangelo glass bowl
那里有个装着圣安杰洛牌玻璃碗的盒子
that they got us for our wedding.
是他们准备送我们的结婚礼物
We'll just say that the cheese plate was a little joke
一会就说那个奶酪盘只是个笑话
and that the real present is in the other room.
真正的礼物在另一个房间里
Hurry!
快去
You know, your coming around today
对了 你们今天来
reminded me that Cooper and I got you a wedding gift.
让我想起库珀和我为你们准备了结婚礼物
You did?
是吗
Well, now, this is a surprise.
真是太让我惊喜了
Well, even though it doesn't say so on it,
尽管上面没有标明
it's a fish! Congrats.
是条鱼 恭喜你们
Oh, my god! Plastic olive swords?
天呐 塑料的橄榄剑
Carmelina, are you trying to be deported?!
卡尔梅利纳 你是想被驱逐出境吗
All right, I got it back.
好了 放回去了
What is that?
那是什么
This is Anders' wedding present to us.
是安德斯给我们的结婚礼物
He must have swapped it out
他一定是看到我们送他的
when he opened that monstrosity that he thinks we got him.
那个畸形的东西后把礼物换掉了
We're getting our painting back.
我们得把画拿回来
- Go. - Me?
-快去 -我吗
No, no. You've already done a recon of the room.
不不 你已经侦察过那个房间了
You need to do this.
你去做
Okay, take it easy, "Mission impossible."
放轻松 "碟中谍"
It's a bed and a couch, not a laser maze.
那里只有一张床和一个沙发 不是迷宫
Now get.
快去吧
A little champagne, and dinner will be ready in 10 minutes.
喝点香槟酒 晚饭十分钟就好
Ay, gracias!
谢谢
Oh, Jay, thank you so much for my new bracelet.
杰 谢谢你给我买的新手镯
You shouldn't have.
你真是太客气了
And speaking of jewlry and "shouldn't haves,"
说到首饰和"太客气"
I was feeling sorry for Sonia,
我觉得有点对不起桑娅
and I gave her a little trinket.
我给了她一个小玩意
Oh, that's so sweet.
你真好
Yeah, but now the poor kid's got the hots for me.
是 但那个可怜的姑娘对我太热情了
I don't know what it is.
我不知道这是为什么
Maybe I just don't know my own power.
也许我只是不了解自己的魅力所在
I mean, you must get that sometimes.
你一定时常会感觉到吧
Don't be mad.
不要生气啊
And don't be whatever that is, either.
也不要这样笑 不管是为什么
She hugged me and wouldn't let go.
她抱着我不肯松手
It's not that crazy.
不是我瞎想
This has happened before.
这事以前也发生过
Oh, yeah, that time
是啊 迪迪的
when Dede's lonely sister grabbed your leg?
独居妹妹抱着你腿不放的那次
Not lonely. She's a forest ranger.
不是独居 她是护林员
She can't be tied down.
她根本冷静不下来
Look, before I shuffle back to my bell tower,
在我回去之前
let me just say I know the look.
我想说 我知道那种表情
Ay, Jay, please.
杰 拜托
I'm so sorry
真对不起
that I didn't pay attention to you at all today.
今天没怎么好好关心你
And now you're all crazy.
你现在都开始胡思乱想了
Gloria, I can't find the candlesticks!
歌洛莉亚 我找不到蜡烛台了
Ay, don't worry. I go help you!
别担心 我来帮你
Gloria, are you all right?
歌洛莉亚 你没事吧
My ankle!
我的脚踝
Why is Joe's toy here?
乔的玩具怎么会在这里
Oh, gee, you really twisted it, huh?
天呐 你扭到脚了是不是
All right, honey. Let me get some ice on that.
没事 亲爱的 我去给你拿冰敷一下
I heard a crash. Is everything okay?
我听到有人摔倒了 没事吧
Yeah, Gloria turned her ankle.
是啊 歌洛莉亚扭到脚了
I don't know if she's gonna make it down for dinner.
我不知道她还能不能下来吃晚饭了
Oh, no!
Should I bring your food upstairs?
要我把食物拿到楼上去吗
No, she just wants to rest.
不用 她想休息一下
She told me to eat with you downstairs.
她让我跟你在楼下吃
She doesn't want to make any --
她不想制造什么...
...trouble.
麻烦
That was the most exciting night of my life.
那是我有生以来最刺激的一夜
Would it break the mood if I clapped a little?
要是我鼓掌的话会不会破坏气氛
No, I will allow it.
不会 我可以允许
Ooh, look, they have the good q-tips.
瞧瞧 这里提供高档的棉签
I'm gonna steal us a bunch.
我要偷一把回去
I'm gonna miss Juliana.
我会想念朱莉安娜的
That lady knows where the bodies are buried.
那女人真是无所不知无所不能
Oh, thanks, honey.
谢谢 亲爱的
I know some years I miss the mark on Valentine's Day.
我知道前几年的情人节我都不是很上心
This year, I wanted to make sure --
但今年 我想要确保...
She's just so adventurous and surprising.
她真是富有冒险精神又让人惊喜
It's like I was parched,
就像在我口渴得要命时
and she quenched my thirst with a big goblet of "Wow."
她用一大杯惊喜之酒来为我解渴
Well, we'll have to make sure your goblet doesn't get so low
我们得确保在下次斟满之前
before we fill her up again.
你酒杯里的酒不会变得太少
I don't know what that means, but anyway,
我没听懂你的意思 但不管怎样
I'm kind of thinking maybe we'll just go home.
我想要不我们回家吧
That showing really is early,
明早我真的要带客户看房
and I need to be sharp.
我得早点休息
Are you sure?
你确定吗
I thought you wanted to sleep here.
我以为你想在这里睡
Yeah, I got caught up
是啊 当时太沉浸于
in the whole Juliana moment.
与朱莉安娜的欢愉之中了
Hey, would you see if there's any sewing kits?
可以帮我看看有没有针线包吗
I think we're out.
家里好像没有了
Yeah.
Something was off,
有什么地方不对劲
but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.
但我不太确定是什么
Claire, let's get a move on!
克莱尔 我们走吧
I'm coming. I'm coming. Hang on.
来了 来了 稍等
Well, look who's back.
瞧瞧谁回来了
Yeah, well, I would have changed,
是啊 我本来要换衣服的
but this is all I brought.
但我只带了这身
Change? When you're perfect?
换衣服做什么 你穿这身多完美
Oh, that's so nice.
嘴真甜
Oh, my, god, look at that.
天呐 看看
It really has gotten late, hasn't it?
都这么晚了 是吧
Not for a lady
对于你这种
of the evening like yourself, Juliana.
属于夜晚的女士来说不算晚 朱莉安娜
What's say we fog up that glass elevator again
我们再去观光电梯里亲热一番
and grab a nightcap in the bar?
再到酒吧喝一杯怎么样
Then I put my finger on it --
然后我知道是什么不对劲了
My husband's in love with another woman.
我丈夫爱上了另一个女人
- You like that, don't you? - Mmm, yeah.
-你很爱吃 是吧 -是啊
Poor Gloria, though, huh?
歌洛莉亚真可怜 是吧
She'll be fine.
她会没事的
Oh, you have a little something --
你嘴上沾了点东西
Oh, I'll get it this time.
这回我自己擦吧
Oh, excuse me.
抱歉
Oh, the soup is ready. I'll bring some for Gloria.
汤好了 我给歌洛莉亚端上去一点
I'm not crazy, right?
不是我胡思乱想吧
No. She's into you.
不是 她看上你了
Thank god you wandered down here when you did.
谢天谢地你下来了
You see how she keeps sliding close to me?
你看到她总是靠近我了吧
It's like eating on a boat.
就像在船上吃饭一样
It's so much worse than that.
比那更糟
It's straight out of "Lethal Ladies."
简直和《致命女士》的剧情一样
Look what I found in the trash.
看我在垃圾桶里找到了什么
Pictures of me and Gloria with Gloria's head cut out?
我们的合照 歌洛莉亚的头被剪掉了
She literally wants mom out of the picture.
她就是想除掉妈妈
Hold on, amigo.
等等
- Is she infatuated with me? Yes.
她迷上我了吗 是的
Understandable, unavoidable.
完全可以理解 无可避免
But would she actually do something to her own --
但她真的会对自己的亲...
What?!
怎么了
She just took a bottle out of her purse
她刚刚从包里拿出一个瓶子
and sprinkled it into mom's soup.
往妈妈的汤里撒了点东西
Okay, that's enough of this dumb TV show for you.
行了 你罪案剧看得太多了
We're talking about a perfectly believable obsession.
现在说的是一种完全可信的迷恋
You're trying to make this into something that's --
你是在把这事编造成一种...
Here, Manny.
给 曼尼
That's for me? What about Jay?
给我的吗 那杰呢
Oh, it's too spicy for him.
太辣了 他喝不了
I make another one just like yours for your mother.
我会给你妈妈弄一碗和这碗一样的
Eat it while it's hot. Okay.
趁热喝了吧
Oh, my god.
天呐
She wants me out of the picture, too.
她也想除掉我
Of course.
当然了
Young woman meets a wealthy, older man.
年轻女人遇到个富有的老男人
Who wants a kid in the way?
谁愿带个碍事的孩子呢
That's the first airtight thing you've said today.
这是你今天说的第一句符合逻辑的话
But she's not a murderer
但她不是谋杀犯
Stella, no!
斯黛拉 别喝
Oh, that's nice. You'd let me eat the soup.
真感人 你倒是愿意让我喝毒药
Just clean it up.
快弄干净
Open your eyes, Jay.
睁开眼看看吧 杰
She wants you all to herself.
她想要据你为己有
The red dress just like mom's,
穿着像妈妈那样的红裙子
the toy she knew mom would trip on,
害妈妈踩到玩具摔倒
the headless pictures?
把照片里妈妈的头剪掉
She's crazy!
她是个疯子
You think I'm crazy?
你觉得我是疯子吗
This is what I did with the pictures.
这是我用剪下来的头像做的
I made this Valentine for Gloria.
我为歌洛莉亚做了这张情人节卡片
The dress I borrowed from Gloria
我向歌洛莉亚借了这条裙子
to go with your pretty necklace.
搭配你送我的项链
And the "Poison" is guasca,
而那瓶"毒药"是香料
a spice I brought from Colombia.
是我从哥伦比亚带来的
And there's Stella with the toy.
那个玩具是斯黛拉经常玩的
Which she leaves all over the house.
她总是把玩具弄得到处都是
There's been some misunderstanding here,
这之中有些误会
but it would be so super
但如果你可以
if you just wouldn't mention this to --
不要告诉别人的话就太好了
Me?!
不告诉我吗
As loud as these two are, the move like cats.
她俩嗓门这么大 走路倒是没声音
I heard everything on the baby monitor.
我在婴儿监听器里都听到了
How can you say these things about my sister?
你怎么能那样说我的妹妹
I was just trying to be nice, Jay.
我只是想表示友善 杰
I will call a cab and wait at the airport.
我会叫辆出租车 去机场等我的航班
Now I know what your family really thinks of me.
现在我知道你们一家人怎么看我了
Sonia, wait!
桑娅 等等
I have been working on fixing my relationship with Sonia
一周来我努力化解我和桑娅
the whole week,
之间的矛盾
and because you think you're a sex machine,
结果因为你以为自己是性感机器
you have ruined everything.
你把一切都毁了
I'm sorry. I'll talk to her.
抱歉 我去和她谈谈
Sonia, I'm an idiot.
桑娅 我真是太傻了
I jumped to some crazy conclusions today.
我今天乱下结论
I mean, I could say it's because of Valentine's
也许是因为情人节的缘故
or, I don't know,
或是 我不知道
me feeling a little neglected,
我感觉自己有点被忽视了
but I know you could never --
但我知道你绝对不会
Kiss me.
吻我
Yes, because you're my sister-in-law and, uh --
是的 因为你是我的小姨子
We hid it perfectly, Jay!
我们隐藏得很完美 杰
Sonia, wait!
桑娅 等等
We've waited long enough!
我们已经等得够久了
One night with me, and you'll forget all about her.
与我共度一晚 你就会忘了她
She doesn't appreciate you.
她不欣赏你
I hear how you fight!
我听到过你们吵架
That's just how we talk.
我们就那样聊天
Give in to it, Jay. We both--
放弃吧 杰 我们都
Oh, no.
I knew it!
我就知道
How dare do you try to steal the life
你居然想把我从你那偷来的好日子
that I stole from you?!
再偷回去
Let him go, Gloria! I love him!
放手吧 歌洛莉亚 我爱他
Never!
永不放手
He's my husband, and I love him more!
他是我丈夫 我更爱他
Ladies, ladies, stop.
女士们 别闹了
W-who are you?
你是谁
I-I-I'm a friend of you son's.
我 我是你儿子的朋友
Oh, thank goodness.
谢天谢地
I twisted my neck, and I need my pillow.
我扭到脖子了 我需要枕头
I'm in agony.
我很难受
Yes, mother moving in was inconvenient,
老妈搬进来确实不方便
but what did he want me to do, just get rid of her?
但要我怎么做 就这么不管她吗
Who does that?
谁会干那种事啊
I mean, a ghoul, that's who.
魔鬼才会那么干
- Oh, no! - What's wrong?
-哦不 -怎么了
Nothing. I was just reliving the moment
没什么 我只是在重温
you told us about you and Cooper.
你说你和库珀分手了的那一刻
You're so dear.
你太贴心了
You know that, that fish I gave you and Mitchell?
其实 我给你和米奇尔的那条鱼
That really wasn't the gift we picked out for you.
那不是我们给你们选的礼物
- Really? - No, I was just being mean.
-真的吗 -我只是故意整你们的
It's just that, when I saw that cheese plate, I just --
只是当我看到那个奶酪盘的时候 我
Wait a minute. Did--
等等
did you give us that because Cooper and I
你们送那个给我们是因为库珀和我
talked about opening up a little cheese shop?
提起过要开个奶酪店吗
Yes! Why else?
是啊 不然呢
How sweet!
太贴心了
Carmelina's probably halfway home with it,
卡尔梅利纳可能都要到家了
but I can make her walk back.
但我可以叫她拿回来
And this...
这个
This is for you.
这是给你们的
We really were so happy for you.
我们很为你们高兴
Oh, Anders.
安德斯
Well, we should probably get going, but look who is up.
我们该走了 不过看看是谁起床了
Mother, where's your hat?
妈妈 你的帽子呢
Look, Anders gave us the bowl after all.
安德斯最终还是把碗送给我们了
It's a good thing you couldn't get the painting.
你拿不到画也没关系
We couldn't take it now.
我们不能现在把它拿走
Well, enjoy the bowl.
好好用这个碗
It's about time you boys had something pretty in the house.
你们也该在家里摆点像样的东西了
Oh, you're fine.
你没事
I love you.
我爱你
Your husband's noticing another woman,
当你丈夫注意到另一个女人
there's only one thing to do --
你要做的只有一件事
step up your game.
再接再厉
I just can't wait to get in a hot bath
我迫不及待地想要泡个热水澡
and soak this infected toenail.
泡泡我感染了的脚趾甲
It's much easier just to take the other bitch down.
诋毁另一个女人就完事了
Well, I-I like the sound of that bath.
我喜欢这个主意
I assume the tub will be ringed with scented candles?
浴缸四周会点满香薰蜡烛吧
Oh, well, I've got candles. I got candles everywhere.
我当然有蜡烛了 我蜡烛多着呢
Ever since my boyfriend stopped paying my bills,
自从我男朋友不再付我的账单
they turned off the electricity.
他们就掐掉了我的电
Leaving us to generate our own electricity.
这让我们能够制造自己的电流
Although, candles can be nice
其实蜡烛会非常助兴
if you're in the mood for, say, some Dirty Dancing.
要是你想来一段"辣身舞"的话
Oh, I hate that movie.
我讨厌那部电影
What?!
什么
There I must passionately disagree.
我不得不说我非常不同意
Or was that your game all along?
还是说你故意来这招的
Okay, if it's an argument you want, fine.
既然你想争 那就争吧
Fine!
来吧
Of course Johnny's gonna fall for Baby
强尼当然会爱上芭比
because he's this big, dreamy country bumpkin
因为他就是个乡巴佬
and she is the shiny, new thing.
而她美丽又年轻
But what happens when the movie is over,
但电影结束后
when he really gets to know her?
当他真正了解她后 会发生什么
Two weeks out of the Catskills, and it's,
在卡茨基尔待上两周 他就会说
"You wearing that again, Baby?
你又穿这衣服了 芭比
You borrow my razor again, Baby?
你又借我的剃须刀了 芭比
Isn't two glasses enough, Baby?"
两杯酒还不够多吗 芭比
Trust me, he is no longer having the time of his life.
相信我 他再也不是在享受人生了
Juliana.
朱莉安娜
- Juliana, wait. - No.
-朱莉安娜 等等 -不
Honestly, it is one minute to 12:00, Phil.
菲尔 还差一分钟就十二点了
Valentine's Day is over.
情人节已经结束了
Not quite.
还没有
I can't see you anymore.
我再也不能见你了
What?
什么
I can't believe I'm saying this
不敢相信我要说这些
because you're the most intoxicating woman
因为你是一个男人这辈子能遇到的
a man could ever meet.
最致命的诱惑
But, by some cosmic miracle,
但是 不知道被什么迷了心窍
there's a woman in that house
那座房子里有个女人
I still find as sexy and exciting
我仍然像初遇时一样
as the first day I met her.
觉得她性感又让人振奋
I should probably let her know that more often than I do.
我应该更经常让她知道这点
That's my bad.
是我的错
But, point is,
但重点是
a guy like me gets that lucky,
如果一个男人能找到这么好的老婆
he quits while he's ahead.
他会及时回头
It sounds to me like she's the lucky one.
我觉得她才是幸运的那个
Goodbye, Juliana.
再见 朱莉安娜
Where are you going?
你要去哪
Sorry. Aren't -- aren't we --
抱歉 我们难道不是要
Don't, don't beg.
别求我
It's beneath you.
有点尊严吧
But I --
但我
Please, go. My wife will see you.
走吧 我妻子会看见你的
Go? Go where?
走 走去哪里
Don't make this harder than it is.
别让我更不忍心了
Okay.
好吧
Juliana, no.
朱莉安娜 不
Phil!
菲尔
Phil!
菲尔
Really?!
来真的吗
You know, I don't know why you are so happy.
我不知道你怎么还这么开心
I've tried the Santangelo
我已经试着把圣安杰洛碗
in six different places.
放在六个不同的地方了
And it just make me
只让我越发觉得
hate everything in our house.
这个家的每个细节都让人不能忍受
We're moving.
搬家