摩登家庭 第六季 Modern Family Season 6 第16集: 苹果高端广告 Connection Lost

上映日期: 2,014

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 贝丝·麦卡锡-米勒

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 诺兰·古德 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 奥布里·


台词
克莱尔的MacBook
家庭泥巴大战照
奥黑尔国际机场无线网
信息
与菲尔的信息记录:克莱尔: 会议很顺利 家里都还好吗菲尔: 在壁橱里发现了乔琳三号留下的"礼物"克莱尔: 冰箱上有张待办事项清单 拜托你在玩游戏的间隙做几件事菲尔: 听起来不错 旅途顺利
与海莉的短信记录海莉: 晚餐吃什么克莱尔: 鸡肉和一些别的海莉: 我晚点回家
我手机掉厕所里了 你有给我打过电话吗
你还在生我的气吗
我在奥黑尔国际机场 20分钟后登机
呼叫菲尔·邓菲
What's the best first-person shooter
关于基因改良过的星际战士
about genetically modified space marines?
最棒的第一人称射击游戏是什么
Halo!
侬好呀[光晕游戏]
Honey,
亲爱的
have you been playing your new little video game all day?
你是不是玩了你新买的游戏一整天了
When you say it in that tone, it implies that Luke and I
你用这种语气说出来 表明卢克和我
haven't been spending quality time together.
没有好好共度父子亲密时光
- Which we have. - Can I talk to him?
-其实是有的 -我能跟他说话吗
Sure thing. Luke!
当然了 卢克
I don't think he's here.
我觉得他好像不在
I mean, I-I know he's not here.
我是说 我知道他不在
Where is he?
他去哪儿了
I am certain he is probably out with his usual crew of cut-ups.
我相信他一定和他的小伙伴一起出去了
烘干机通风管道起火 造成6人受伤
You're not doing laundry, are you?
你没有洗衣服吧
God, no. But I'm about to if I'm supposed to.
没 但你叮嘱过的话 我马上就去洗
No, no. Don't. Don't.
不 不 不要洗
But can you vacuum out
但你能在我回家前
the dryer vent before I get home?
把通风管道清理干净吗
I will absolutely do that.
我一定会清理的
Thanks.
谢了
待做事项:清理车库卢克的壁橱带艾丽克斯看眼科医生给卢克理发冥想 / 买红酒
清理干净烘干机通风管道
I can't get in touch with Haley.
我联系不上海莉了
I haven't talked to her since we got in that fight.
自从我们吵架后 我就没跟她说上话
She around?
她在吗
I think she slept at a friend's house.
我觉得她好像去朋友家过夜了
What friend?
什么朋友
Not a normal name,
不是个常见的名字
starts with a vowel, possibly foreign.
是元音开头的 很可能是个外国人
Oh, maybe Alex knows. Is she home?
或许艾丽克斯知道 她在家吗
Nope. I have not seen her for hours.
不在 我已经好几个小时没见到她了
Does Haley know an Arjibarge?
海莉认识个叫阿杰巴的人吗
- Hi, mom. - Hi, honey. Where are you?
-嗨 妈 -嗨 宝贝 你在哪儿呢
I'm in the kitchen.
我在厨房啊
Alex? When'd you get home?
艾丽克斯 你什么时候回家的啊
I've been here all day.
我一整天都在家里啊
You should get outside, get some fresh air.
你该多出去 呼吸下新鲜空气什么的
It's a beautiful morning.
现在是美好的清晨时光
It's noon, and it's freezing out.
都已经中午了 而且外面冷死了
Phil, honey, when I'm not home,
菲尔 亲爱的 我不在家时
I need you to be present and keep track of everyone.
我需要你站好岗 看好每一个孩子
Sounds good. Love you, too.
听上去很棒 我也爱你
Alex, do you know where Haley is?
艾丽克斯 你知道海莉去哪儿了吗
I mean, I know she was babysitting Lily last night,
我知道她昨晚去给莉莉当保姆了
but I haven't seen her since.
但从那之后我就没见过她了
By the way,
顺便说下
don't read the draft I sent you last night of my college essay.
别看我昨晚发你的我大学申请论文的草稿
I just sent you a new version.
我刚刚又重新发给你了一份
Uh, okay. I will go read that one right now.
好的 我这就去看
之前就是拌几句嘴而已 海莉
你这样也太任性了
Oh, my god. What are you doing? Are you filming me?
天啊 你在干什么 你在拍我吗
Yes! I want you to see how crazy you are acting.
是的 我想让你看看你的表现有多疯狂
Me?! I come to talk to you about something important,
我? 我去找你说一件很重要的事
and then you start chasing me aound with the camera.
然后你就拿着摄像机跟着我狂拍
I asked you to clean up the kitchen nine hours ago
我9小时前就吩咐过你打扫厨房了
when I left for work.
当时是我离家去上班时
I come back, and it's the exact same mess,
等我下班回到家 发现还是脏乱的一片
plus pickles and peanut butter!
还多了腌黄瓜和花生酱
I was running around doing stuff for my crazy boss all day,
我整天都得为我那个疯狂的老板做各种事
and then I got hungry,
然后我饿了
and then the smell from the garbage almost made me throw up!
但垃圾桶里的臭味差点让我吐出来
That's exactly how I feel!
我也是这种感觉
Leave me alone!
别烦我了
I have a lot on my plate!
我的烦心事已经够多的了[盘子上很多脏东西]
Yes. Yes, I can see that, honey.
是的 是的 我看到了 亲爱的
You left it in the sink!
你把脏盘子都堆在洗碗池里了
Oh, my god!
天啊
I waited in line for two hours, but I got it.
我排了两小时的队 但总算买到了
Ooh, we making a home movie?
哎呀 我们在拍家庭录像吗
家 庭
摩 登
第六季 第十六集
呼叫爸爸
登录Facebook 海莉·邓菲主页
你认识海莉吗好友申请暂时未通过
Hello?
Hey, dad.
你好 老爸
Dad, take the phone away from your ear.
爸 把手机从耳朵旁边拿下来
Why would I do this?
为什么要拿下来
Now I can't hear you.
现在我听不到你说话了
Put it in front of your face.
放在你面前
How'd you get in my phone?
你怎么跑到我手机里的
Does this mean when we talked the other day
这是不是意味着那天我们通话时
that you knew I was in the can?
你知道我是在厕所里
I do now.
我这下知道了
How was the presentation?
会议展示做得怎么样
Actually went really well.
非常顺利
The client loves the whole re-design.
客户喜欢我们的新设计
They just want us to swap out the handles --
但希望我们换掉长方形把手
- Damn it! - I know.
-该死的 -我懂的
Only knobs want knobs.
只有蠢货才会想要旋钮
No, Joe bit me. He's teething.
不是 是乔咬了我 他在出牙
I don't think it's a coincidence
我觉得安迪这周末请假
that Andy took the weekend off.
不是巧合
Kid's like a beaver.
这孩子跟海狸似的
I'm afraid to wear short pants.
我都不敢穿短裤了
Hola, Claire.
好啊 克莱尔
Hey, Gloria.
好啊 歌洛莉亚
How's your trip? Are you having any fun?
出差怎么样 玩得开心吗
Uh...yeah. You know, it's a little windy, but, eh.
是啊 风有点大 但是
给清洁狂看的黄片
So, you're okay with me cutting Luke's hair, right?
你同意我帮卢克剪头发吧
- Hey, mom. - Well, hello.
-妈妈 -好啊
It's nice to know you're not dead in an alley somewhere.
知道你没死在某个小巷里真是太好了
Right back at you.
你也是
Yes, I am fine with you cutting his hair.
我同意你剪他的头发
Just don't leave it too long on the sides.
两边别留太长就行
I am very good cutting boys' hair.
我很擅长剪男孩的头发
[删除待办事项: 给卢克理发]
You should let me cut yours someday.
你以后该让我剪你的
Okay, bye-bye, Gloria.
好吧 再见 歌洛莉亚
You still there?
你还在吗
米奇尔·普里契特今天过生日
Crap. Dad, did you know
该死 爸 你知道今天是
it was Mitchell's birthday today?
米奇尔的生日吗
Of course. I already called him
当然啦 我已经给他打了电话
because I'm a considerate person
因为我是个体贴周到的人
who really cares about his family.
对家人由衷地关心
I reminded him and dialed the phone.
是我提醒的他 我拨的电话
Fly safe.
旅途顺利
And remember you can recline.
记住你可以向后靠[倒退]
It's still America up there.
到了天上也还是美国
Thanks, dad.
谢了 老爸
Happy birthday!
生日快乐
Oh, hey. Is it still my birthday?
好啊 还是我的生日吗
Watch it, or I'll sing to you.
小心点 不然我要唱歌了
-Ha-- - Okay, okay, I give.
-生... -好吧 我认输
Okay. So, have you had a good day?
好吧 你今天过得好吗
Yes, thank you.
不错 谢谢
拉夫·劳伦新品 现在购买
Uh, Lily,
莉莉
she made me her famous chocolate-chip scrambled eggs...
她给我做了她拿手的巧克力豆炒蛋
...which she then watched me eat.
她还看着我吃了下去
Yeah.
是的
You got my present, didn't you?
你收到我的礼物了吧
No.
没有
Darn it. They promised it would be there on time.
该死 他们跟我保证会按时送到
次日送达
Oh, well, I can't wait to open it
我等不及拆开礼物
and check the date on the invoice.
看看发票上的日期了
- Hey, is that Claire? - Yeah.
-那是克莱尔吗 -是
- Hi, Claire! - Hi.
-好啊 克莱尔 -好啊
Hi. Hey, uh, did you, uh, show her my gift yet?
你给她看了我的礼物吗
No.
没有
- Come on, show her, show her. - Okay. Yeah.
-快给她看啊 -好的 好
It's good.
超棒
Wow, shalom and chh-appy birthday.
您好 生日快乐[模仿犹太人]
I know, right?
就是啊
Isn't it fantastic?
很棒吧
Hey, Claire, did you get me some Garrett's cheese
克莱尔 你给我买加勒特奶酪
and caramel corn yet?
和焦糖味爆米花了吗
Oh, shoot, I forgot.
糟糕 我忘了
It's the one thing you had to do in Chicago!
你在芝加哥就只用做这件事啊
You are so right.
你太对了
I'm sorry that I let myself get distracted by my job.
很抱歉 我因为工作分心了
Okay, I'm looking for sweet and salty, Claire,
我要的是甜中带咸 克莱尔
not bitter.
不是苦的[尖酸]
米奇尔·普里契特:我看起来像燕特尔 对吧
Relax, Cam.
别激动 小卡
I'm sure there's a kiosk around here that sells it.
这里肯定有小卖部卖那个
Good.
那就好
Guys, listen, yesterday, did Haley mention
听着 昨天海莉有没有提起过
where she was gonna go after she babysat for Lily?
她照看莉莉之后要去哪里
No, but when you do talk to her,
没有 但你找到她时
can you tell her
能不能告诉她
to please be careful with my powder-blue suit
让她小心对待我的粉蓝色西装
that Cam let her borrow without asking me?
那是小卡未经我同意借给她的
Why did she want a suit?
她为什么需要西装
A friend of hers needs it for a wedding,
她的一个朋友参加婚礼用的
and Mitchell needs to stop
米奇尔得摆脱
dressing like he's in a barbershop quartet.
"理发店四重唱"的造型
Lily, honey,
莉莉 亲爱的
did Haley say where she was going when she left here?
海莉离开时有没有说她要去哪里
- Who wants to know? - Aunt Claire.
-谁想知道 -克莱尔姑妈
Hey, Aunt Claire. I heard you were being mean to Haley.
克莱尔姑妈 听说你对海莉很刻薄
I was not mean to Haley.
我没对海莉很刻薄
Okay, you're screaming.
行了 你在嚷嚷
I don't know where she went. Maybe Dylan knows.
我不知道她去了哪里 也许迪兰知道
Dylan? Why would Dylan know?
迪兰 他怎么会知道
He came over, and they were talking on the couch
他来过 他们在沙发上说话
while I was in the other room...
我那时候在另一间房里
behaving.
很乖的
She's still talking to Dylan? Really?
她还在跟迪兰说话吗 真的吗
Oh, wait, guys, I got to go.
等等 我得挂了
艾丽克斯·邓菲来电
Uh, happy birthday, Babs.
生日快乐 芭芭拉[《燕特尔》主演]
What does she mean by that?
那是什么意思
Hi, honey.
亲爱的
Oh, don't read that last draft.
别读上一封草稿
I just changed something in paragraph three.
我刚改了第三段
Oh, oh, that's too bad.
真糟糕
Paragraph three had some of my favorite --
第三段有我最喜欢的...
Oh, please, I can see your eyes
拜托 我能看见你的眼睛
darting around the screen.
在飞快浏览屏幕
Just read the new one.
读新的那篇就好
Can you just do me a favor and call your sister?
你能不能帮我个忙 给你姐姐打电话
If she's screening, I'm not making the cut.
如果她在屏蔽来电 我肯定打不进去
Why don't you just snoop on her facebook page
你何不偷窥她的Facebook页面
with your fake profile?
用你的假个人主页
I don't have a fake profile.
我没有假的个人主页
Mom, save it. Brody Kendall just logged in.
妈你算了吧 布罗迪·肯德尔刚上线了
That trick might've worked on Haley,
这种把戏也许能骗骗海莉
but I know that's a picture of Chachi.
但我知道照片是察琪的
已婚
Oh, my God. What?
天呐 不是吧
Please tell me that's some kind of mistake!
告诉我这不过是个错误
Where? Which paragraph?
哪里 哪一段
Get your father -- now!
去叫你爸来 马上
Dad, mom needs you!
爸 老妈找你
Tell her I'm in the shower!
告诉她我在洗澡
Honey, who do we call? What do we do?
亲爱的 我们该打给谁 该怎么办
雅虎知识人失踪多久才能立案
There's no way Haley's married.
海莉怎么可能结婚了
维基知道如何定位手机
Then why did she change her Facebook status?
那她为什么换了Facebook的状态
She probably didn't.
她应该没有吧
It could be a computer glitch, someone hacked her account.
可能是电脑的问题 有人黑了她的账号
I just think we should stay calm until we know the story.
我觉得在知道真相前我们都该冷静点
Honey, I cannot get on a plane for four hours
亲爱的 失去联系又不清楚情况
and be out of touch and not know what happened!
你叫我怎么在飞机上待四个小时
It's not just the Facebook thing.
不只是Facebook
She borrowed a blue suit from Mitchell for a wedding.
她从米奇尔那里借了一件婚礼用的蓝西装
Something borrowed, something blue?
借来的 蓝色的[婚礼习俗]
Do you get it?
你意识到了吗
Who would she even marry?
她要嫁给谁呢
I don't know, but she was with Dylan yesterday,
我不知道 但她昨天跟迪兰在一起
and if she was gonna marry him,
如果她要跟他结婚
she would definitely hide that from us.
她肯定不会告诉我们
多方通话迪兰·马沙尔
But that makes no sense. Why wouldn't he call me?
可是说不通啊 他为什么不打给我
- Oh, hey, Mrs. "D". - Hey, Dylan!
-你好 邓太太 -你好 迪兰
Oh, hi, Mr. "D"!
你好 邓先生
- Are you with Haley? - In what way?
-你跟海莉在一起吗 -以什么方式
Physically, romantically, maritally?
现实中 浪漫里 婚姻性质地
No. I'm at work. I have a career now.
不 我在工作呢 我有事业了
Hey, uh, can you hold this phone for a second?
你能帮我拿一下电话吗
现金收购金子
So, you have no idea where Haley is right now?
所以你不知道海莉现在在哪里
You mean spiritually, geographically?
你是说精神上 还是地理上
Can you please stop spinning that sign?
你能别转那个广告牌了吗
No. My boss says if I do,
不行 我老板说我要是停了
he'll replace me with one of those guys!
他就找个那种人来取代我
怪兽大甩卖
Go back to where you came from!
回你来的地方去
Dylan, focus!
迪兰 看着我
I don't know where she is,
我不知道她在哪
but I can sense that she's okay.
不过我能感觉到她没事
It's like we share the same brain.
就像我们共用一个大脑一样
Who has it now?
现在脑子在谁那
Okay, so, last night when you were with her,
好了 昨晚你跟她在一起时
she didn't say anything about getting married?
她完全没说要结婚的事吗
Haley got married?! That's so upsetting!
海莉结婚了吗 太让人伤心了
Done.
好了
- Hi, mom. - Do you have Haley's iCloud Password?
-妈 -你有海莉的iCloud密码吗
Yeah, she gave it to me in a little envelope
是的 她放在一个小信封里
with her diary key
跟她的日记本钥匙
and a list of things she's most afraid of.
以及最怕的事物清单一起交给了我
Maybe we could guess it.
也许我们能猜出来
Claire, you accidentally hung up on me.
克莱尔 你不小心把电话挂了
Oh, yeah, well, honey, you know me and computers.
对 亲爱的 你知道我不太会用电脑
Mom's trying to guess Haley's iCloud password.
妈妈在猜海莉的iCloud密码
Which, personally, I think is an invasion of her privacy.
个人觉得这侵犯了她的隐私
Ooh, try "Password."
试试看"密码"行不行
I'm kind of glad that didn't work.
还好不是这个
Wait, I think I remember telling her to use something
等等 我记得我告诉过她
that people wouldn't know about her,
要用别人不知道的东西做密码
like her favorite literary character.
比如她最喜欢的文学形象
I'm in!
进去了
What? What was it?
不是吧 是什么
Snoopy.
史努比[爱窥探的]
And that could be your new nickname.
可以当你的新外号了
Okay. Find my iPhone.
好吧 寻找我的iPhone
Oh, no! She's in Vegas.
不是吧 她在拉斯维加斯
Are you serious?
你没开玩笑吧
Oh, hang on. I'm zooming in. Hold on, hold on.
等等 我在放大 等等 等等
海莉的iPhone
Let me see what I can, uh...
我来看看...
Come on.
快点
And -- oh, God!
天呐
婚礼教堂
Honey, she's at a wedding chapel!
亲爱的 她在一间婚礼教堂里
Okay, that's troubling, but think about it.
好吧 是有点麻烦 但是你想想
If she's not with Dylan, who would she be marrying?
如果她没跟迪兰在一起 她能跟谁结婚
I don't know!
我不知道
Alex, she had to have told you something!
艾丽克斯 她一定跟你说过什么
Okay, you are really rubbing in our lack of closeness.
好吧 我们确实不亲密
She won't even tell me what conditioner she uses.
她连用什么护发素都不会告诉我
I have 12 minutes! Think!
我只有12分钟了 赶紧想
I don't know. Ask uncle Mitchell.
我不知道 去问米尔奇舅舅吧
They're always giggling about boys.
她们总是聊男孩子的事
Oh, good! Okay, yes, I'm gonna do that.
好 我这就找他
I'm calling him.
我打给他
If it helps,
要是有用
I can alert my magician contacts in Vegas.
我可以找我在赌城的魔术师朋友
Although, they are better at making girls disappear
尽管他们更擅长让女孩消失
than they are finding them.
而不是把她们找出来
What?
什么事
Lily, honey, I need you get Mitchell.
莉莉 亲爱的 去帮我叫米奇尔
But they said I could have 20 minute of iPad time.
他们说我能玩20分钟iPad
Mitchell? Mitchell?!
米奇尔 米奇尔
Hey, what's up?
怎么了
I-I really need to talk to Mitchell.
我得跟米奇尔谈谈
It's my iPad time!
现在是我的iPad时间
Honey, what did I tell you about being selfish?
宝贝 关于自私这事我怎么跟你说的
Aunt Claire needs to speak to other daddy
只要克莱尔姨妈买到我要的爆米花
just as soon as she gets me my popcorn.
她就能跟二爸说话啦
What? You, Cam, I promise you,
什么 小卡 我说过了
I will get you your popcorn,
我会给你买到爆米花的
but right now, I need to talk to Mitchell!
但现在我得跟米奇尔谈谈
- Okay, cheese and caramel. - Fine.
-奶酪和焦糖味的 -知道了
- And caramel. - Fine.
-还有焦糖味的 -记住了
Hey, what's up?
怎么了
So, I'm pretty sure that Haley is getting married in Vegas.
我很确定海莉在赌城结婚了
- What?! - What?!
-你说什么 -什么
Yeah, I need to know who she's been dating.
我要知道她在和谁约会
T-there was this one guy who she thought
她说过自己可能喜欢上了
that she might like, but, I don't know.
这么一个人 但我也不清楚
She was weirdly secretive about him,
她对于他一直藏着掖着
but I-I guess that could still be thing.
我觉得那个人算一个约会对象吧
爸爸来电
Oh, hang on, hang on, getting a call from dad.
等等 老爸打电话来了
Do the thing.
快做
Do the cute thing.
做那个可爱的动作
- Dad? - Claire?
-爸 -克莱尔
- Dad? - Mitchell?
-爸 -米奇尔
What are you doing in my phone?
你们在我手机里做什么
You called me, dad.
你打给我的 老爸
No, I didn't. I'm shooting a video with Joe.
我没有 我在跟乔拍视频
Am I in your kitchen with you?
我现在在你的厨房里吗
No.
不在
Then you're not shooting a video with Joe.
所以你没在跟乔拍视频
Hi, Jay! Claire was just about to go run an errand!
杰 你好 克莱尔要去办点事
Are you kidding me?!
没搞错吧
Okay, for God sakes. Hold--
天呐 等着
would you mind watching my computer for me for a minute?
能麻烦您帮我看一下电脑吗
- Thank you so much. - Of course, dear.
-非常感谢 -不客气
Hey, Mitch, I'm liking the new hat.
米奇尔 我喜欢这顶新帽子
- It gives you some presence. - What you getting at, dad?
-让你看起来不一样了 -你想说什么
Nothing. It's a strong look.
没想说什么啊 就是很硬汉
Y-you like one of those tough guys in an old western movie.
你看起来像以前西部片里的型男
- Really? - Yeah.
-真的吗 -真的
Oh, I guess it is kind of badass.
这个帽子有点反派气息
What if I tilt it a little bit?
如果我把它往后折一点呢
You ruined it.
那就毁了
I like your hat. It suits you.
我喜欢你的帽子 很配
Oh, thank you, ma'am.
谢谢你 女士
Well, you're welcome.
不客气
Okay, thank you.
谢谢你
All right, got your life-changing popcorn.
把你改变人生的爆米花买回来了
Yes!
真棒
Now, can we get back to figuring out who Haley married?
能说回海莉结婚这件事了吗
Haley got married?!
海莉结婚了
Oh my gosh, I hope it was no to Jackson.
千万别是跟杰克逊
Jackson!
杰克逊
He was into some weird food.
他喜欢很奇怪的...食物
Oh, God!
完蛋了
Whoa, Haley got married?! She is in so much trouble!
海莉结婚了 她麻烦大了
Luke, what have you done to your hair?!
卢克 你的头发怎么了
Claire, when you react like this,
克莱尔 你这种反应
you're just giving him what he wants.
正是他想看到的
Luke said that you knew about it!
卢克说你知道的
I didn't know about it!
我不知道
I said a parent knew about it.
我说有家长知道
Phil!
菲尔
I know we're not there yet,
我知道还没到这步
but I've been researching annulments.
但我在网上搜了婚姻无效条约
Oh, we are there
就要到这步了
because you let our child get a Mohawk!
因为你同意他剪莫霍克发型
Sweet!
真棒
We...had a bet.
我们打了个赌
You let him get a Mohawk because he won a bet?!
他赢了你就让他留这头型吗
- No, he lost the bet. - What?! Phil!
-他输了 -什么 菲尔
Well, I-I, would you rather I had a Mohawk?
难道你想让我留莫霍克发型吗
- I have a career. - I-I don't have time for this.
-我可是要上班的 -我没时间争论
We've got to get back to figuring out
我们得搞清楚
who Haley has married in Vegas.
海莉在赌城和谁结的婚
- Hold on. Someone's at the door.- Okay.
-有人敲门 -好吧
So, Haley's in Vegas?
海莉在赌城吗
- Yes. - If you want, I can call Andy.
-对 -你想的话 我可以打给安迪
He's there, too. Maybe he can find her.
他也在 也许他能找到她
Andy's in Vegas?
安迪在赌城
Yeah, he borrowed some cuff links
是啊 他问我借了袖扣
from me for some wedding.
说是婚礼要用
Oh, my God,
天呐
you guys don't think that Haley married Andy, do you?
海莉不会嫁给安迪了吧
- Haley married Andy! - What?!
-海莉嫁给了安迪 -什么
- What bet did he lose? - No, no, no, no, no, no.
-他又赌输了什么 -不 不
Andy is dating some girl in Utah,
安迪在和犹他州那女孩约会
and Haley knows that.
海莉知道的
Even if Haley was attracted to him,
就算海莉喜欢他
I would hope she would have the decency
我也希望她有点自尊心
and the self-control--
和自控能力
Oh, my God! Oh, my god, she married Andy!
天呐 她嫁给了安迪
I knew she was still into him.
我就知道她还喜欢他
She said he wasn't her type, but I'm like,
她说他俩不合适 但我就说
"He's a man. He's breathing."
"他是个男的 有呼吸的男的"
Maybe this is why she doesn't talk to me about things.
也许这就是她不和我聊天的原因
No, it can't be him. He's a very nice boy.
不可能是他 他是个好小伙
Claire, trust me,
克莱尔 相信我
Andy's not gonna run off and elope with Haley.
安迪不会和海莉私奔的
He's a stand-up guy.
他是个正直的人
- It's a package for haley. - Open it.
-是寄给海莉的包裹 -打开
Well, that seems like an invasion of her priv--
这侵犯她隐...
Open it!
打开
"What to expect when you're expecting."
《孕期指南》
Oh, my god!
老天啊
I told you he was a stand-up guy.
我就说他是个正"直"的男人
致电 海莉·邓菲
She's not answering, phil.
她不接电话 菲尔
Are you calling andy?
你在给安迪打电话吗
It's going straight to voice mail.
直接转到语音信箱了
I can't believe she's pregnant.
我不敢相信她怀孕了
Let's not jump to any conclusions.
别轻易下结论
Jump? Let's review.
轻易吗 来回顾一下
She's been moody, eating weird food,
她情绪暴躁 吃奇怪的东西
getting nauseous.
恶心反胃
She left in the middle of the night
她半夜离家
for a wedding chapel in vegas with her secret love,
和秘密爱人跑去拉斯维加斯小教堂
and most suspicious of all, she bought a book!
还有最可疑的是 她买了一本书
Oh, no. What if you're right?
糟了 如果你是对的该怎么办
- What will we do? - I don't know.
-我们该怎么做 -我不知道
I'll kill that Andy.
我要灭了那个安迪
How could he be so irresponsible?
他怎么能这么不负责任
养育女儿孩子的老妈
I mean, he's a good kid.
他虽然是个好人
But to run off with my baby girl
他怎么能就这么拐走我的女儿
after I fell for his "Aw, shucks" act!
之前还让我迷上他的"道歉"表演
Which is probably not an act because he's genuinely nice
也可能不是表演 因为他人很好
and he thinks "Shucks" is the "S" word.
还有他觉得那是脏话
Still, I want to kill him!
我还是想灭了他
But that would be robbing my grandchild
但我的外孙可能就
of probably a really great father.
没了一个超棒的爸爸
Damn you, Andy Bailey!
去你的 安迪·贝利
His last name is Bailey?
他姓贝利吗
Oh, my god, she's gonna be Haley Bailey.
老天啊 她以后要叫海莉·贝利了
安迪·贝利被捕记录
- Wait. I just thought of something. - What?
-等等 我想到一件事 -什么事
I'm going to be the first woman in my family
我成了家里第一个
not to get pregnant and drop out of college.
没因为怀孕从大学退学的女人
Ooh, maybe that should be my essay.
也许我论文该写这个
安迪·贝利涉嫌纵火被通缉
I graduated from college.
老娘大学毕业了啊
Yeah, and haley got kicked out of college
没错 而且海莉退学时
before she got pregnant.
还没怀孕呢
Okay, hang on, honey. I am sending you a picture.
等一下 亲爱的 我给你发张图片
Do you think that this arsonist looks like Andy with a beard?
你觉得这个纵火犯像留胡子的安迪吗
No. He's not an arsonist.
不 他不是纵火犯
Gloria hired him to take care of her baby.
歌洛莉亚请他照顾孩子呢
Gloria. Right, of course.
对了 问问歌洛莉亚
You know how protective she is.
你知道她保护欲有多强
I'm sure she had him thoroughly vetted.
她肯定仔细查过他的底细
Hola!
你好
Gloria, where did you find Andy?
歌洛莉亚 你在哪找到的安迪
At the park, chasing some children.
公园里 当时他在追小孩
- Oh, my god. - I'm gonna call him again.
-天呐 -我再给他打电话
Hey, mom, check it out.
老妈快看
God, Luke, what have you done?!
天呐 卢克你做了什么
I know. What does he have to rebel against?
就是 他有什么必要叛逆
Haley pregnant and me in a Mohawk --
海莉怀孕 我留着莫霍克发型
This year's christmas card is gonna rule.
今年圣诞节贺卡的全家福我们无敌啦
What's going on? Did you find her?
进展如何 你找到她了吗
No, dad, no, I haven't found her. And you know what?
没 爸 我没找到她 你知道吗
This is all your fault
这都是你的错
because you two introduced
因为你们俩把
this horny stranger into our lives.
这个饥渴的陌生人带进了我们的生活
Let me get this straight.
让我搞搞清楚
You're mad because your daughter got knocked up
你生气是因为你女儿怀孕
and ran off with some goofy guy
和一个猥琐男私奔
to get married behind your back.
然后背着你结婚
I can't even imagine what that must feel like.
我都想象不到那是种什么感觉
Really? Now?
真的 你现在要演这出
I can't think of a better time.
没有比现在更好的时机了
Jay, stop kicking her while she's down,
杰 不要落进下石了
pointing out her mistakes at the same time
也不要点破
the whole universe is telling her
她众人皆知的错误
that she's a terrible mother!
她不就是个糟糕的母亲嘛
Oh, my god, okay, can't do this. Got to go. Bye.
天呐 听不下去了 我挂了 拜拜
米奇尔·普里契特来电
I miss my little girl!
我想我的闺女
Claire, don't do that.
克莱尔 别那么做
Yes, Claire, don't do that!
对 克莱尔 别那么做
Look...
听着
You're not gonna find her at the bottom of that tin.
你闺女不在罐子底
You're not near the bottom of that tin, are you?
你还没吃到罐子底 对吧
I'm gonna be a grandmother!
我要当外婆了
Aww, there, there, dear.
没事的 宝贝
Okay, Claire...
好了 克莱尔
We don't know anything for sure yet.
现在什么都还不确定
So take a deep breath...
深呼吸
...put the popcorn down...
放下爆米花
And just get your...
然后振...
Not cool, grandma!
太不地道了 外婆
Okay, Claire, listen, listen.
好了 克莱尔 听我说
Sometimes life hands you things that you don't want
有时候生活给你你不想要的东西
and -- and they turn out to be exactly what you need.
但最后你却发现那正是你需要的
And, oh, my god,
天呐
I think I just talked myself into liking this hat
我刚刚说服自己喜欢上这顶帽子了
because I keep seeing myself in it,
因为在屏幕上看到自己
and I'm like, "Who is that handsome Yentl man?
我心里的潜台词是"这帅小伙是谁啊"
Are you serious right now?
你没开玩笑吧
菲尔·邓菲快看安迪刚发了什么
Oh, god, I got to go.
天呐 我得挂了
菲尔·邓菲来电
I'm sorry. I wasn't that helpful. Are you okay?
对不起 我没帮上忙 你还好吗
Our little baby got married without us.
我们的女儿居然背着我们结婚了
I was supposed to give her away.
我本应该送她出嫁的
I was supposed to walk her down the aisle
我本应该牵着她的手走过红毯
and give her husband-to-be one of these.
然后对她的未来丈夫这样说
"That's my baby girl.
她是我的宝贝女儿
You take care of her."
你一定要照顾好她
- Yeah. - 'Cause that's what dads do.
-没错 -那就是老爸该做的事
I got to call my dad.
我要给我爸打电话
Please don't tell him
拜托别告诉他
I was in charge when she left.
她是在我的看管下离开的
Hello. Can you see me?
喂 看得到我吗
Thumb, dad.
手指头 爸
The minute they got rid of rotary phones,
他们淘汰老式旋转电话的那一刻
everything went to hell.
一切都完蛋了
Dad, I'm really sorry that I eloped.
爸 真抱歉我以前私奔了
You were a great dad,
你是个非常优秀的老爸
and you should've been there to walk me down the aisle,
你本该牵着我的手走过红毯
and --
然后
and I've never apologized for taking that away from you.
我剥夺了你的这项权利 却从未道歉
Well, we got to do that thing in Hawaii, and that was nice.
我们后来在夏威夷做过了 那也很好啊
Yeah. Guess what goes around comes around, huh?
是 真是一报还一报啊
Look...you're in the eye of the tornado right now,
你现在正处在龙卷风的中心
and you can't see anything but
除了看到你的生活席卷而来
your life swirling around you.
其它都看不到
But Andy's a good guy, just like Phil,
不过安迪是个好孩子 跟菲尔一样
and years from now, you might look back on this
多年以后 你可能会回首往事
and think, "The best thing that could've happened...
你会想 "最好的事情莫过于
was that dipstick knocking up my daughter."
那个傻瓜把我女儿的肚子搞大了"
That's so sweet.
太感人了
- Was he listening?! - Yeah.
-他一直在听吗 -是的
This dipstick loves you, too, Jay!
这个傻瓜也爱你 杰
I take it all back!
我把刚才的话收回
- Jay! - Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
-杰 -等一下 等一下
I am trying to fix it!
我试着搞定它
Gloria's talking to me. Some of it's in English.
歌洛莉亚在跟我说话 有些是英语
Claire, Claire! Look, look, I fix Luke's hair!
克莱尔你看 我把卢克的发型整好了
Oh, my god, he looks like Shemp!
老天呐 他看起来像善璞
Okay, yes, it's true, but --
好吧 是很像 不过
but maybe if I cut a little bit more on the sides or in --
也许如果我把这面再剪短一点...
Oh, no, no, no. No more cutting.
不 不要 别再剪了
Just give me a chance to get used to it.
给我个机会习惯下就好了
海莉·邓菲来电
- Oh, it's Haley! Haley's calling! - What?!
-是海莉 海莉打来了 -什么
Hi, mom.
妈妈
"Hi, mom"?!
就跟我说这个吗
We have been trying to get in touch with you all day!
我们一整天都试图联系你
- I've been in bed. - Oh, goodness.
-我一直在床上 -天呐
I don't think we need to hear the details.
我们不需要听细节
Haley... we know everything.
海莉 我们都知道了
And I understand why you hid it from us,
我明白你为什么对我们隐瞒此事
and while we are not happy, young lady,
尽管我们很不高兴 年轻的女士
we're gonna work this out.
我们可以一起想办法
Uh, before I admit to anything,
在我承认什么事之前
maybe you could be more specific?
你能不能说得具体一点
Haley! You're home!
海莉 你在家啊
Yeah, I've been home all day. I've been sleeping.
是啊 我一整天都在家 一直在睡觉
So, you didn't get married?!
这么说你没结婚
Married?! Why would I get married?!
结婚 我为什么要结婚
Because you're pregnant with Andy's baby!
因为你怀了安迪的孩子
What?! Why would you think that?!
什么 你为什么会那样想
Because you changed your Facebook status to "Married"
因为你的Facebook状态改成了已婚
and then we tracked your cellphone
而我们追踪你的手机
to a wedding chapel in Vegas.
到赌城的一间婚礼教堂
And you ordered this book!
而且你还买了这本书
Wow, first of all, it's called privacy.
首先 这叫隐私
Google it.
不信去查
Second, I married a cronut.
第二 我嫁给了一个甜甜圈
What?
什么
Last night, my friend Andy and I,
昨晚 我的朋友安迪和我
we went to go get cronuts,
一起去买甜甜圈
and I said that they were so amazing,
我说那些甜甜圈太好吃了
I wanted to marry one,
我真想嫁给它
so I posted it on Facebook as a joke.
所以我当笑话发到Facebook上的
Then I accidentally left my phone in Andy's car,
后来我把手机落在安迪的车上了
which he drove to a friend's wedding in Vegas,
他开车去赌城参加朋友的婚礼
and that book is for my crazy boss
那本书是给我的疯老板买的
because he's designing maternity clothes
他在设计孕妇装
and he wants to get inside the mind of preggos!
想知道准妈妈们在想什么
Thank god!
谢天谢地
I'm so relieved!
真是松了一口气
Wait a second.
等等
How did you get onto my Facebook page?
你怎么能看到我的Facebook页面
I unfriended you.
我没加你好友
She's Brody Kendall.
那个布罗迪·肯德尔是她
Oh, my god, gross!
天呐 真恶心
I've been playing Candy Crush with my mother!
我居然一直在跟我妈玩糖果粉粹机
How did you track my phone?
你是怎么追踪到我的手机的
Well, I don't think that really matters,
我觉得那并不怎么重要
and there's a perfectly reasona--
而且我有充分的理由...
Oh, cut it out. I can see people walking behind you.
省省吧 我能看到你后面有人走过
Okay, got to go.
好了 我挂了
尼采认为 大部分文化的存在都不过是让我们远离真相
米奇尔·普里契特更改了头像
改得很好 宝贝