摩登家庭 第六季 Modern Family Season 6 第18集: 春假 Spring Break

上映日期: 2,014

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 贝丝·麦卡锡-米勒

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 诺兰·古德 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 奥布里·


台词
You're still on that thing?
你还在看吗
What are you constantly looking at on your computer?
你一直盯着电脑到底看什么呢
Is that a question
你真的想要
you really want people asking around here?
家里的人开始问这个问题吗
Indeed, it is not.
说得对 我不想
I'm just checking college acceptances.
我只是在看大学录取情况
I mean, they should be posting them any day.
学校随时可能发通知
You cannot spend your entire spring break
你不能把整个春假
worrying about college admissions.
花在等录取通知上吧
You should go to that -- that music festival thing with Haley.
你应该跟海莉一起去那个音乐节
Do something fun. Learn to relax a --
找点乐子 学会放松
Do we have to keep every remote we have ever owned?
我们所有的遥控器都得留着吗
Somewhere in a landfill, a laser disc just ejected.
垃圾填埋场的某处刚有个光驱弹了出来
Uh, I can't bring Alex to the festival
我不能带艾丽克斯去音乐节
because I am going for work to research new fashion trends.
因为我是去工作 勘查最新流行趋势
I need to blend in, you know?
我得和人们打成一片
Everyone will think she's a cop.
所有人都会以为她是条子
Well, I could sit here and worry and ruin my day,
我可以坐在这担惊受怕毁掉自己的一天
or I could go with Haley and ruin hers.
或者跟海莉一起去毁掉她的一天
I'll grab my sunscreen.
我去拿我的防晒霜
Good morning.
早上好
Hey, Dad.
I hate to shame you, but Haley woke up before you.
我不想让你难堪 可海莉起得比你早
Well, Haley didn't run a 10K yesterday
海莉昨天没跑十公里
to raise awareness for alopecia.
去为秃头症患者争取关注
What's alopecia?
秃头症是什么
That is why I run.
这就是我去跑步的原因
Honey, I could really use your help
亲爱的 今天的春季大扫除
with spring cleaning today.
真的需要你的帮助
I got to get all these boxes down to the donation center.
我需要把这些盒子都拿到捐赠中心去
Wish I could, but I've got work.
我想帮 可是我要工作
Then Luke and I have got some important trampolining to do.
然后还要和卢克一起跳蹦床
I just love how equally we divide our responsibilities.
我真喜欢这么平等的分工方式
Figured we'd do a little father/son bonding
鉴于你的学校活动取消了
since your school trip was canceled.
我们该做点父子活动
You can teach me the Dunphy Tuck.
你可以教我邓菲翻转
I love your enthusiasm, son, but it's way too dangerous.
我欣赏你的热情 但那太危险了
One wrong move, and you're eating springs.
一个动作错了 你就可能摔个嘴啃弹簧
Oh, no, no, those are --
不 那不是
Is that my banjo?
那是我的班卓琴吗
When I met this little lady sitting next to me,
当我遇见身边这位女士的时候
it was love at first sight.
我们一见钟情
Yep, I've been noodling around on the ol' flyswatter
是的 我已经弹棉花
for a couple of years now.
弹了好几年了
I was inspired by the greats
被伟大前辈们所激励
-- Scruggs, Kermit.
斯克鲁日 科米特
It's hard to practice, though,
尽管这玩意练起来很难
because it gets Claire so hot and bothered.
因为它会让克莱尔欲火焚身
- What do you -- - I think I've heard enough.
我觉得我听够了
Lucky for you,
你真走运
I've got time for a couple verses of "Shortnin' bread."
我刚好有时间弹一曲《小短面包》
No, no, no, no, no.
不不不
No, no, it's in the box. It's leaving the house.
不 它在盒子里 要被丢掉了
I-I can never hear that awful thing again.
我再也忍受不了那鬼哭狼嚎了
- But you called me "Banjovi." - I know.
-可你还叫我班卓琴手呢 -我知道
I did whatever was necessary to make it stop.
只要能让它停下 我做什么都可以
Wait. Does that mean you also didn't like my bagpiping?
等等 那是说你也不喜欢我吹风笛吗
Is that why we have Luke?!
所以我们才有了卢克吗
It's not.
不是这样的
Is it?
是这样吗
家 庭
摩 登
第六季 第十八集
Ay, Cam, no dessert for you?
小卡 你不吃甜品吗
No, none for me.
不吃
I have to fit into a skintight cat costume tonight
今晚我要穿上紧身猫猫装
because I'm gonna --
因为要去...
Whatever you do behind closed doors
你们关上房门做任何事
is your own business.
都是你们自己的事
Because I'm singing "Memory" at the faculty follies.
因为我要在教职员才艺秀上演唱《回忆》
It's a fundraiser
为了筹集资金
where the teachers do a little talent show.
教师们要表演节目
Ay, maybe I come see you.
要不我去看你演出吧
I need to find something to watch
我戒掉了肥皂剧
since I had to give up my soap operas.
总得找点东西看
Oh, because you've been neglecting Joe?
因为你一心看剧忽略了乔吗
No, it's because I asked Jay to stop smoking cigars,
不 因为我让杰戒了雪茄
and he said that he would quit
他说如果我能戒肥皂剧
if I stopped watching the soap operas.
他就戒雪茄
But it's very hard.
可那太难了
What's so damn hard?
有什么难的
It's the same thing every week --
每周播的都是一样的
Amnesia, evil twins,
健忘症 邪恶的双胞胎
two ladies end up fighting in a fountain.
最后两个女人在喷泉里打架
I mean, what is it? Is it some sort of an escape?
有什么好看的 是为了逃脱现实吗
It's better than blowing smoke in our baby's face.
至少比朝宝宝脸上吐烟好
Where did he go, anyways?
说到这个 他去哪儿了
Oh, there's an e-mail from Lily's scout camp.
莉莉的女童军营发来了邮件
- I hope everything's okay. - She's fine.
-希望一切都好 -她很好
Mitchell's nervous because he's not a camper.
米奇尔很担心 因为他不喜欢露营
His idea of roughing it is a hotel stay
他觉得住的酒店没有电视剧频道
where the cable doesn't get Bravo.
就算条件艰苦了
They should tell you that when you check in.
登记入住时酒店应该告诉客人的
Oh, boy. Okay, here's a photo, look.
好吧 收到一张照片 看
She's using the signal.
她在打手势
What signal?
什么手势
The kids aren't allowed to call their parents,
孩子们不能打电话给家长
but the camp sends out photos,
但是营地会发照片给我们
so we have a code.
所以我们约好
Yeah, "We."
是的 "我们"
One finger, she's fine.
竖一根手指表示很好
Two fingers, she's unhappy.
两根手指表示不高兴
Look at this -- two fingers.
你看 两根手指
I don't look at pictures on a phone.
我不在手机上看照片
If it's a good shot, get a print, put it in an album.
要是拍得好 就洗出来放进相册
Interesting time to take a stand.
这种时候说这个真合适
But she looks like she's just doing
可看起来她只是
the bunny ears behind her girlfriend.
在朋友身后比"兔耳朵"
Which is exactly what she would do
她就是那样做
to get a secret signal past the authorities.
好骗过大人们 传达秘密信号
Okay, it's a scout camp, not Leavenworth.
那是女童军营 不是莱文沃思
She's smiling. What are you worried about?
她在笑呢 你担心什么啊
Because it's her first time away from home. It --
因为这是她第一次离开家
You know what? That's probably it.
知道吗 也许是这样
I'm just -- I'm stressing out, so --
是我太紧张了 所以...
You know, I'm -- I'm gonna go to the office
我要去趟办公室
and pick up some papwork.
拿点文件
You know what? I'm gonna tag along with you.
我跟你一起走好了
You can drop me off at the club.
你可以把我送到俱乐部
I'm not really going to the office.
我其实不是去办公室
Don't care. Need a cigar.
随便 我得抽根雪茄
Based off the walk I just took,
根据我刚刚的勘查情况
side-boob is the new butt crack.
侧乳是最新的股沟
So, you want to head down front?
你想去前面吗
Alex!
艾丽克斯
Okay, you need to drink this.
你得喝了这个
I'll get a new one.
我再去拿一杯
Uh, is there vodka in here?
这里有伏特加吗
If there is, it's not doing anybody any good
如果有的话 它没在发挥什么作用
until I get it in there.
除非我把它弄到你嘴里
Michelangelo talked about chiseling
米开朗基罗说过如何用大理石
beautiful sculptures out of marble.
凿出美丽的雕像
Well, my chisel is a long island iced tea,
我的凿子是长岛冰茶
and I use it to free the party girl from the block of nerd.
我用它雕刻出书呆女的狂野一面
Music!!
音乐
Yeah!
好棒
Not all my sculptures are masterpieces.
并非我的所有雕塑都是杰作
I'm ho--
我回来了
Oh, amazing!
好棒啊
Honey, were you listening? Isn't he good?
亲爱的 你听见了吗 他很棒有没有
- Really good. - Yeah.
-真的很棒 -是啊
Really good.
真的很棒
I -- I thought you didn't like the banjo.
我还以为你不喜欢班卓琴呢
I didn't think I did, either,
我也以为我不喜欢
but there's just something about the way he plays.
但他弹得很好
It's so... it's so musical.
太悦耳了
So, what's this, a surprise for old dad?
这是怎么 给老爸的一个惊喜吗
You been secretly taking lessons for months, probably longer?
你偷偷上了几个月的课了吗 也许更久
Nope. I just started messing around with it today.
没有 我今天才开始摆弄
And you learned a whole song.
你学了一整首歌曲
Actually, he learned two! Play him the other one.
实际上他学了两首 给他演奏另一首
I'm good, thanks.
算了 不用了
Are those my shoes?
那是我的鞋子吗
I found them in the box of donations.
我在捐赠盒里找到的
They fit him perfectly.
刚好合脚
If anything, they're a little snug.
就是有点点紧
Well, he can kick them off,
他可以踢掉鞋子了
'cause we are about to do some trampolining.
因为我们要去跳蹦床了
Time to learn the Dunphy Tuck.
该去学邓菲翻转了
I thought you said he could get hurt doing that.
你不是说他可能会受伤吗
It's impossible to be safe all the time.
不可能一直保证安全
You can get hurt just walking into your own house.
你走进家里都可能受伤呢
Okay, I'm gonna go hang my costume up
我要去把我的戏服挂在
in my dressing room and start warming up my voice.
更衣室里 开始暖嗓子了
Dressing room? Ay, show me.
更衣室 带我去看看
I can't. It's the handicapped stall in the men's room.
不行 就是男卫生间里的残疾人座位
But tonight is not about Cameron Tucker.
但今晚的重点不是卡梅隆·塔克
It's about the kids.
而是孩子们
Coach tucker.
塔克教练
Senor Kaplan.
卡普兰先生
What is that, a caveman costume?
那是什么 穴居人戏服吗
No, I just signed up
不是 我刚报名演唱
to sing "Memory" from "Cats."
《猫》里的《回忆》
Although I hope I'm not on
不过希望我不是在
after the "Grease" Chorus.
《油脂》合唱团之后上台
They're a tough act to follow.
很难跟他们媲美
"Memory"?
《回忆》吗
But that is your song.
但那是你要唱的歌
"Memory"? But that was his song.
《回忆》吗 但那是他的歌
Two cat costumes?
两件猫的戏服
Well, we can't both sing the same song.
我们不能唱同一首歌
I mean, that would make a mockery of the follies.
那是对才艺秀不尊重
Oh, well, I sang last year.
我去年演唱过了
Please, I insist -- you sing.
拜托 我坚持 你唱吧
He gave up his song.
他放弃了自己的歌
That was his song last year.
去年他就唱的这首歌
Fate will smile upon him.
命运会眷顾他的
You would do that for me?
你愿意为我这样做吗
This is literally the nicest gesture
这真是我见过的
I have ever witnessed --
最大度的行为
And I'm from Canada.
而我可是从加拿大来的
I don't like this.
我不喜欢这样
This is just like when Rosalba and Marisol
这就像是罗萨尔芭和玛莉索
found out that they were married to the same man.
发现她们嫁给了同一个男人
Marisol backed down,
玛莉索让步了
but she was found dead two days later.
结果两天后她死了
Okay, Gloria, I think there's a chance
歌洛莉亚 我觉得你可能
you're trying to turn a very normal situation
是在把一件很正常的事
into one of your soap operas.
变成了你的肥皂剧
Okay, but imagine --
好吧 但是想想看
A standing ovation for you will crush him!
观众对你起立欢呼会让他崩溃的
You know what?
知道吗
I'll only look better
如果我顾全大局
if I take the high road --
会让我的形象更加伟大
You know, help out backstage, let him have his moment.
在后台帮帮忙 让他享受他的时刻
Oh, my goodness!
天啊
The move you're about to see was first developed
你即将看到的动作是我的曾曾曾祖父
by my great-great-great- grandfather Razvan Dunphy,
拉兹万·邓菲发明的
but, really,
但说真的
it's as old as man's quest to fly.
这和人类对飞行的探索一样历史悠久
It's just a flip with a twist, right?
只是转体空翻 对吧
There's a lot more going on,
还有更多的动作
but you won't be able to absorb it
但你第一次看见
the first time you see it.
是无法全部吸收的
Eins...zwei...drei--
一 二 三
No good. Okay.
不行了 不行了
You were right. I totally missed it.
你是对的 我没能吸收
I'm glad that happened. I'm actually glad that happened.
我很高兴刚才没弄成 真的
It's a good reminder, the Dunphy Tuck demands respect.
提醒了我邓菲翻转要充满敬意才能完成
This...time...for...
这次 我是 来
real!
真的
Jim McKay, that hurts!
吉姆·麦凯 好疼[运动节目主持人]
I'm gonna... just adjust these springs.
我要调整一下这些弹簧
They feel fine to me.
我觉得挺好啊
I'm sure they do.
你当然觉得好了
You don't have the foot sensitivity of a tramp champ.
你还没有培养出足够敏锐的脚感
If I ever had to read braille, I'd--
如果让我读盲文 我...
Oh, my God! I think I did it!
天呐 我觉得我做到了
Did I do it?
我成功了吗
Almost. Yeah.
差不多吧
Your, your form was a little off.
你的姿势差了那么点
Really? It felt perfect. I'll try one more time.
真的吗 但我觉得很棒 再来一次
I'm not sure that's such a good idea.
我觉得还是不了吧
You might cement in some bad...habits.
你可能会沾上 坏习惯
I did it again!
我又成功了
I'm gonna get you some water.
我去给你倒杯水
You seem lightheaded and delusional.
你看起来有点不清醒
Again!
又一次
Oh, honey. You look exhausted.
亲爱的 你看起来很累
Well, I am not. I am as strong as ever.
不累 我还是一如既往的威猛
Certainly the strongest person in the house.
我是家里最威猛的人
Is Luke doing the Dunphy Tuck?
卢克是在做邓菲翻转吗
Sort of a poor man's version of it.
学了个百分之六七十吧
He added a whole new twist.
他加了一个全新的动作
It's called over-rotation. Look into it.
他这是转多了 好好看看
I was so caught up in my spring cleaning,
我当时忙着做扫除
it took me a while to see that Phil was feeling inadequate.
过了好一阵才发现原来菲尔觉得不自信了
I knew what I needed to do.
我知道我需要做什么
When you guys are done out there,
等你们弄完了
do you think you could give Luke my list?
你能把这张清单拿给卢克吗
I have some chores on here that require some muscle.
这上面有些体力活要干
Maybe I should take care of that.
也许该让我来
No, no, I-I-I can handle it.
我能处理好
Luke's pretty busy out there not pointing his toes.
卢克正忙着不用脚尖起跳呢
So he's all like, "Get a life,"
他对我说"去找点事做吧"[找一条命]
and I'm like, "No, thanks. Got nine."
我回他"不了谢谢 我有九条命呢"
I mean, cause...
因为我是
Sorry to interrupt, but I just took a break from painting.
抱歉打扰了 我画完休息一下
Wanted to come over, bring you some tea
想着过来给你送点喝的
and tell you to break a paw.
顺便祝你表演成功[摔断一只爪子]
He almost broke his head.
他差点就被砸破头了
Yes, I know, and I feel horrible about that.
我知道 非常抱歉
I-I hope you know
我希望你明白
I would never intentionally do anything to harm--
我绝不是有意伤害...
My throat!
我的喉咙
It burns!
好痛啊
He made the tea too hot!
他把茶弄得太烫了
Not on purpose!
我不是故意的
He tripped on one of Coach Tucker's paint cans.
他被塔克教练的喷漆罐绊倒了
I don't remember leaving that there!
我都不记得有把罐子放在那
Oh, look at me. I can't command a stage.
看看我 我这样可上不了台
You, you have to take my place.
你来接替我
We'll wheel you out onto stage.
我们可以把你推上台
Oh, come on, we both know
这可不行 我们都知道
this song requires catlike movements.
这首歌需要很多拟猫的动作
Someone get this man into fur and makeup!
快来人给他换装 画脸
- What are you doing?! - Last item on the list--
-你在干什么 -清单上最后一项
- move the table. - No. You should not be doing that alone.
-移桌子 -不 你不应该一个人弄
Really? Cause I got the fridge out to the curb.
真的吗 我已经独自把冰箱搬到路边了
- How? - Drug it.
-怎么做到的 -给它下药
Stand back. I'm turtling her.
退后 我要背她起来了
No, you're gonna get hurt, sweetie.
不行 你会受伤的 亲爱的
- Let me get Luke. Luke! - No, no, no!
-我去找卢克来 卢克 -不用
I don't need his help!
我不需要他的帮忙
Let him play his precious Banjo!
让他去弹那宝贵的班卓琴吧
It was like the Banjo was mocking me.
感觉连班卓琴都在嘲笑我
*You are not the man you used to be*
*你不似从前英勇*
*You get up four times at night to pee*
*每晚起夜四次*
*Ba-da-dum ba bat da doot doot doo*
*噜啦啦噜啦啦噜啦噜啦噜*
*You're super-duper old now*
*你已垂垂老去*
Take Five.
休息一下吧[爵士名曲]
I don't know that one.
我不会弹那首歌
Give me a couple minutes. I'll figure it out.
给我几分钟 我能学会
It's a little hard to get things done with all the noise.
这么多噪音 我很难集中精力干活
What's that?
那是什么
Nothing.
没什么
Is that...
那是件
a bra?
胸罩吗
You're not supposed to have girls up here.
你不该带女生来家里的
I can explain.
我能解释
You don't have to!
不必解释
You think you're an adult, but you're not.
你以为自己是个成年人 但你不是
You're a kid living under my roof,
你只是住在我屋檐下的小屁孩
and you have to obey my rules!
你要遵从我的规定
The "G" string snapped!
G弦断了[丁字裤断了]
Probably not the first time that's happened in here.
估计不是第一次在这里发生了
No! It hit my eye!
不 它打到我眼睛了
Is it bleeding?
我眼睛流血了吗
First of all, eyes can't bleed, so--
首先 眼睛是不会流血的 所以
Sammy Davis Jr., that's bad!
小萨米·戴维斯 真是够糟的[艺人 曾出车祸]
Alex!
艾丽克斯
I'm looking for my sister.
我在找我妹妹
She has brown hair,
她留着棕头发
dressed like a nerd, but not ironically.
打扮得像个书呆子 但不是为了讽刺
Hang on!
等一下
Hello?
Haley, are you with Alex?
海莉 你和艾丽克斯在一起吗
She's not answering her phone.
她不接电话
Uh, yeah, yeah.
这个嘛
We're just a tiny bit separated right now,
我们现在不在一块儿
but, uh, she's been acting a little strange.
但她举止有点怪
Oh, no. What do you mean?
天呐 你什么意思
Um, I -- well, I-I'd say she's been, um...
她就是有点...
a bit distant.
有点不爱搭理人
Oh, no.
不是吧
Mom, don't freak out.
妈 别慌
No, I was worried about this
没 你们今早出门的时候
when you two left this morning.
我就有点担心了
Oh, okay, so she was being a little uptight.
好吧 她就是有点放不开
Come on! Open up, you stupid thing!
开机啊 你个蠢东西[快告诉我]
Okay, fine! She was a total buzzkill, okay!
好吧 她很扫兴
I just wanted to relax her.
我就想让她放松点
Damn it.
该死
I know, I know -- it was a mistake.
我知道我做错了
But it's not like I poured it down her throat!
但我又没逼她喝
She didn't get into Harvard.
哈佛没录取她
Oh, thank god!
谢天谢地
That's why she's been acting so weird.
所以她才那么不正常
Wait. What do you mean,
等等 你说
you didn't pour it down her throat?
你没逼她喝是什么意思
Did you get her drunk?
你把她灌醉了吗
Hey, you hacked her computer!
你黑了她的电脑
Is that her?
那是她吗
Uh, I just found her.
我找到她了
I'll have her call you.
我让她打给你
Take me to my sister!
把我运到我妹妹那儿
All right, Lily's camp is just through those trees.
莉莉的营地就在树丛后面
- I'll be back soon. - Take your time.
-我一会就回来 -别着急
I got a couple of Robustos to keep me company.
我带着雪茄呢 不寂寞
Um, what's up with the outfit?
那身衣裳是怎么回事
It's to keep the smoke off me
身上不会沾味道
so Gloria won't smell it.
歌洛莉亚就不会发现了
That's insane.
你疯了吧
Yep, I've lost my mind.
是啊 我失心疯
Have fun breaking your daughter out of sleepaway camp.
祝你顺利把女儿劫出营地
Oh, of course you wouldn't understand.
你当然不会理解
Why?
为什么
You forgot?
你忘啦
I forgot I shouldn't ask "Why" to things.
我忘了我不该问为什么
I was 9 years old, at camp.
当时我九岁 在营地
There were mosquitos, compost toilets,
那里到处都是蚊子 厕所是露天的
mean kids.
还有恶霸
It was theater camp, wasn't it?
那是个歌剧露营吧
Naturally, you remember that part.
你当然记得那个了
The point is, I hated it.
关键是 我恨死露营了
I was -- I was cold, and I was scared,
我又冷又怕
especially
特别是
after this kid told this terrifying ghost story,
有个小孩讲了个特恐怖的鬼故事
so I snuck away to a pay phone,
于是我跑出来找到一个公共电话
I called you, crying,
哭着打给你
and in a performance even more predictable
而你的表现比托德·詹森
than Todd Jansen's Artful Dodger,
在《狡猾郎中》里的表演更容易被猜透
you refused to pick me up.
你不接我回家
For your own good.
那是为了你好
Learning to fend for yourself
学会保护自己
is an important part of becoming a man.
是成为一个男人的重要一步
Before you claim that all my professional success
在你说我所有的职业成功
stems from your very, very brave decision
都得益于你当年狠心地决定
to stay at home on the couch
留在家里沙发上
watching "The Bionic Woman,"
看《无敌女金刚》之前
I am going to go get Lily.
我要去接莉莉了
So that she knows she can always count on me.
这样她才知道她可以一直依靠我
It's fine.
就这样吧
If that's your idea of a dramatic exit,
如果你觉得戏剧性退场是这样
it's no wonder Todd Jansen got that part.
怪不得托德·詹森拿到了那个角色
So, the doctor will see you in a few minutes.
一会儿医生就帮你看了
Nice someone can see.
还好有人能看得见
Glad to know your good eye can still roll.
你没事的那只眼睛还能瞪人 不错
So, still angry, huh?
你还在生气啊
Gee, why would I be angry?
天呐 我怎么会生气呢
Because you insulted me, maimed me, and belittled
你不过是侮辱了我 把我搞残废
my achievements in the banjonic and trampolinic arts?
贬低了我在班卓琴和跳床上取得的成就
I know. I'm sorry.
我知道 抱歉
I'm not proud of my behavior today.
我今天的行为很不光彩
Probably started with the 5K I ran yesterday.
可能是因为昨天跑了五公里吧
10K.
十公里
For everyone else.
其他人跑了十公里
It was the first time in 15 years I couldn't finish.
这是15年来第一次我没跑完
Then, today, it's everything I can do, you can do better.
今天 我能做的事 你做得都比我好
No, I can't.
我不能
Yes, you can.
你当然能
It's okay. It's not your fault.
没关系 又不是你的错
Every dad goes through it --
每个老爸都会经历这一天
The day he starts seeing his son as a man and not a boy.
看着儿子蜕变成男子汉的一天
It's a shock.
这很令人震惊
Like when we first got high-def TV
就像刚买了高清电视那会儿
and I realized Ed Bradley had an earring.
发现电视上埃德·布拉德利戴着耳环
I'm not as much of a man as you think, dad.
我没有你想得那么威武雄壮
Oh, really?
真的吗
How come an hour ago,
那为什么一个小时前
I had a 16-year-old girl's bra in my hand?
我手里有个16岁女孩的胸罩
Can we talk somewhere more private?
能去个私密点的地方谈吗
The bra belongs to me.
那胸罩是我的
Oh...kay.
好吧
That's not the conversation I thought we'd be having,
我没想到要跟你谈这个
but...if that's what you need on the outside
但如果你需要这种外在的东西
to feel like the luke you are on the inside --
来找到内心真正的自我
No!
不是这样
It's to practice on.
那是训练道具
I stink at unhooking them.
我不会解胸罩
Last week, I tried to
上周 我试过在派对上
take one off a girl at a party.
解开一个女孩的胸罩
I fumbled for so long, she started to laugh.
我半天都没解开 她就开始笑我
It still haunts me.
到现在我都无法释怀
That's why I didn't go away this week.
所以这周我才没出去
My trip wasn't canceled.
我的活动没被取消
Everyone found out and...
后来大家都知道了...
I get it -- you couldn't face them.
我懂了 你没法面对他们
Listen, I know this part of your life
听我说 我知道你人生的这部分
may not be moving fast enough for you,
可能前进得比你期望的要慢
but enjoy it while it lasts.
但趁年轻时好好享受吧
Someday, your life's gonna be moving faster than you want,
有一天 岁月会快得让你措手不及
and you could wind up doing something dumb,
然后你可能很紧张 结果做了蠢事
like blinding your son.
比如弄瞎你儿子的眼睛
I'm blind?!
我瞎了吗
Probably not.
可能不会
Luke Dunphy?
卢克·邓菲
I know I'm getting a little old for this place, but...
我知道我的年龄不太适合来这里了
I do like coming here.
不过我还是喜欢来这
Oh, Lukey!
小卢克
You hurt your eye.
你伤到眼睛了
Do you need a hug?
要抱抱吗
A big one.
抱紧点
Come here.
来吧
Alex! Alex, stop!
艾丽克斯 停下
I have been chasing you for, like, an hour!
我追了你快一个小时了
Where are you going?!
你要去哪里
This guy Weasel said he knows
这个叫伟泽的人说
of some hot springs in the hills.
他知道山里有处温泉
We were just gonna go try and find them.
我们正打算去找
Oh, okay. So, we'll see you in, like, what, 10 years,
好吧 那我们就十年后见
when you spoon-tunnel
等你用勺子挖条地道
your way out of Weasel's basement?
从伟泽的地窖里逃出来的时候
I know about Harvard.
我知道哈佛大学的事了
How?
怎么知道的
Mom saw on your computer.
妈妈在你电脑上看到的
And of course she told you,
她当然会告诉你了
because privacy doesn't mean anything.
因为她根本不把隐私当回事
Why do things the right way?
为什么还要做正确的事呢
- Alex, I r-- - No! What's the point?
-艾丽克斯 我 -不 为了什么
Get straight A's for 10 years,
十年成绩全优
spend your summers building houses,
暑假去盖房子
drag your cello to school every day,
每天拖着大提琴去上学
write the perfect essay, and for what?!
写完美的论文 都为了什么
"No, thank you, Alex!"
"不 谢谢 艾丽克斯"
"We don't want you, Alex!"
"我们不想录取你 艾丽克斯"
Okay, you are drawing more attention to yourself
好了 注意你的人比注意那个
than the guy wearing a ferret as a scarf.
拿雪貂当围巾的人还多
I don't care anymore!
我不在乎了
I've spent my entire life trying to be perfect,
从小到大我都试图做到完美
and where did it get me?
结果得到什么了
I am in a field with 6,000 idiots!
我和六千个傻子在这片空地上
Know what? I think that this is a good thing for you.
知道吗 我认为这对你来说是件好事
- Can you just spare me today? - No.
-今天能不能别烦我 -不能
You're obviously going to get into
你一定会考上其中一所
one of those snooty schools,
傲慢自大的学校的
and sometimes you're gonna come in second...
偶尔你可能会考第二名
or fourth, or maybe even tenth.
或第四名 甚至第十名
But you're gonna dust yourself off,
但你会振作精神
maybe put on some lipstick for once, and keep going.
也许涂点唇膏 继续向前走
I'm allowed to feel bad about this, okay?
我可以为此而难过 好吗
Look, you are a superstar!
你就是个超级明星
I've been saying since you were 10
从你十岁大我就一直说
you're gonna be on the Supreme Court.
你以后会站在最高法院里
Thanks.
谢谢
But for the record, I'm gonna be a scientist.
不过声明一下 我会成为一名科学家
Lab coat, robe --
实验服还是法官袍
as long as something's covering up your outfit,
只要能盖住你的衣服就行
you're gonna be just fine.
你会没事的
I...don't want to talk about it.
我 不想谈这个
I had killed with that song at three amateur productions,
我曾在三场业余演出 两场同志婚礼
two gay weddings, and a two-hour gate hold on a 747,
和被延误的航班上完美地表演过那首歌
but I could tell the audience thought
但我能看出今天的观众们觉得
that I had sabotaged Kaplan to grab the spotlight,
我为了上台 对卡普兰先生使坏
and my confidence caught in my throat
而我的自信卡在喉咙里
like a three-day furball.
就像玩了三天的毛球
I couldn't have stunk up the place worse
我的表演臭到家了
if I'd performed in a litter box.
臭过在猫砂盆里唱
Thank you. Thank you very much.
谢谢 谢谢你们
Bravo, Cameron.
太棒了 卡梅隆
Can't talk! I'll be in my stall!
不说了 我回我的单间去了
So, now everybody hates Cameron.
现在大家都会讨厌卡梅隆了
Okay, look, I can't sing "Memory."
好吧 我唱不了《回忆》
It's too much song for me.
对我来说太难了
So when I found out that coach Tucker
所以当我发现塔克教练
wanted to sing it, as well, I had my out --
想唱那首歌 我找到了借口
until he nobly stepped aside.
谁知他很高尚地让给我
Luckily, the sandbag fell, everyone blamed him,
幸运的是 沙袋掉了 大家都怪他
and I just saw my opening.
我知道机会来了
I put the paint cans on the floor
是我把喷漆罐放在地上
and pretended that the tea scalded me.
又假装被那杯茶烫到
But to see him crash and burn on stage, that...
但看到他在台上玉石俱焚的样子
It doesn't get better than that.
真是没什么比这更精彩了
Oh, it's about to,
很快就有了
because I turned your microphone on,
因为我把你的麦克打开了
and everybody there is listening
外面所有人都听见了
to everything that you just said!
你刚刚说的每句话
No. No! No, no, no, no, no, no.
不是吧 不不不不
You monster!
你这个禽兽
Amazing! And with no commercials!
太精彩了 还没有广告
The worst thing about the woods
身处森林最坏的事
is you never know what you're gonna run into --
就是你永远不知道会遇到什么
a bear, a hunter who doesn't take kindly to city folk,
一只熊 一个不喜欢城里人的猎人
or worse...
更糟的是...
I can't wait. I love S'mores.
我等不及了 我超爱吃烤棉花糖
...your daughter, as happy as you've ever seen her.
看到你的女儿比任何时候都开心
The only thing to do was to sneak back to the car
唯一能做的事就是偷偷溜回车里
and think of a lie to tell my dad along the way.
想想该编什么谎话骗我爸
What was that?
那是什么
I don't know, but let's hit it with a shovel.
我也不知道 我们赶快用铲子拍死它
And stab it with our marshmallow sticks!
再用棉花糖棒捅死它
No! No, no, no, no! I-I'm Lily's dad.
别别别 我是莉莉的爸爸
I'm Lily-- hi. She's mine.
我是莉莉的...她是我女儿
what are you doing here?
你到这儿来干什么
Okay, I-I thought you gave me the signal.
我以为你给我发了求救信号
No! Go away.
没有 走开啦
You're embarrassing me in front of 8-year-olds.
你让我在一群8岁小孩面前丢脸了
Sorry.
抱歉
I just finished telling the girls a ghost story.
我刚给这些孩子们讲了个鬼故事
It was so scary.
吓死人了
Do you know any?
你知道什么鬼故事吗
I do know one from my own camp days,
我知道一个 是我当年露营时听到的
but it's probably too scary for you, s--
但对你们而言可能太过吓人了
- Tell us now! - Okay, okay.
-快跟我们说说 -好吧 好吧
It's really scary. Don't say I didn't warn you.
真的很吓人 可别说我没警告过你们
This better be good.
这故事最好真的精彩
I-it takes place at a camp a lot like this one,
故事也发生在一个营地里 跟这里很像
Where just beyond the woods, there was a black lake.
在森林那边 有一个黑湖
And just beyond the lake, there was a prison.
在湖那边 有一个监狱
This isn't scary.
一点都不吓人啊
Okay, it was a haunted pr--
好吧 那是个闹鬼的...
It was a haunted prison.
那是个闹鬼的监狱
Now, on this one night, the night of the full moon,
有一天晚上 也就是满月之夜
What they call "The blood moon"...
他们称之为"血月"
Okay, what was at this prison was a -- was a ghost --
那个监狱里 有一个鬼
The ghost of an old man with glowing red eyes,
是个老人死后变成的鬼 眼睛闪着红光
Who breathed fire!
可以喷火
I'm bored. Can we go to sleep early?
好无聊 我们能提前回去睡觉了吗
I think you're forgetting about the blood moon.
我觉得你忘了今天是血月之夜吧
What's that?!
那是什么
Glowing eyes!
闪着红光的眼睛
It's the ghost!
是鬼啊
It's the ghost! No!
鬼来啦 不要啊
Girls!
姑娘们
Thanks for that. Bedtime should be a treat.
谢你了啊 现在她们应该会好好睡觉了
Well, I guess you finally rescued me at camp.
看来你终于来营地救了我一次啊
Better late than never.
就算迟了 有也胜过无
By the way, I should've
顺便说下 我当年的确
come by and picked you up from camp.
该去营地把你接回家的
That, uh, "Tough it out" stuff --
要小孩独立自强那一套
That was my dad talking.
都是从我爸那里学来的
He threw me in a lake once I was afraid of.
他曾经把我丢进一个我很害怕的湖里
Did I ever tell you about that story?
我跟你说过那事吗
Yeah, yeah, we've all heard that story.
是的 我们都听过那个故事
Now, don't feel too bad.
你也别太自责了
I was completely wrong about Lily.
我完全会错了莉莉的意思
I almost rescued her from
我差点让她没有享受到
having the time of her life.
她这辈子最快乐的时光
Oh, that's the way of things.
有时候事情就是这样的
Things work out, and someday,
一切都自有结果 有一天
you'll be able to see her
你也会看到她
be completely wrong about her kids.
对她自己的孩子 也产生完全错误的理解
It's fun.
其实挺好玩的
Oh. Okay.
好吧
Want a cigar?
你想抽根雪茄吗
No. No, thank you.
不了 谢谢
You know, I -- I once stole one of those when I was a kid.
我小时候曾偷过一根雪茄抽
Made me completely dizzy.
抽的我晕乎乎的
I don't remember the rest of the night.
我都不记得当晚后来发生的事了
Aren't you going to that faculty follies after this?
你接下来不是要去观看教职员才艺秀吗
Yeah. Give me one of those.
没错 那快给我一根
I thought there was a step there.
我以为这里有一层台阶呢
Oh, yeah, you'll get your depth perception back
等你把绷带拆除了
once you get the bandages off.
深度知觉就会回来了
Careful in the middle, there.
楼梯中间当心点
I still haven't a chance to --
我还没来得及修...
I know.
我知道的
I thought you were Alex.
我以为是艾丽克斯回来了呢
哈佛大学烂透了
She didn't get in.
她没有被录取
Oh, no!
不要啊
Stupid Harvard.
愚蠢的哈佛大学
"Stupid Harvard"?
愚蠢的哈佛大学
She didn't get into Princeton, either?
她也没被普林斯顿大学录取吗
No, just Harvard.
不是啦 只被哈佛拒了
I thought that this might soften the blow.
我觉得这个有助于缓解那事对她的打击
And I made her her favorite dinner.
我还做了她最爱吃的菜
You're such a good mom.
你真是个好妈妈
There she is!
她回来啦
Hi. I heard.
嗨 我都听说了
I'm so sorry.
我真的很遗憾
Uh, thanks, mom,
谢了 妈
but Haley already made me feel a little better about it.
但海莉已经让我心里舒坦多了
I just don't really feel like talking right now.
我现在不想说话
I kind of just want to change my password and get into bed.
我只想去修改下密码 然后就睡觉
Okay.
好吧
She just needs a little bit of time to work through it.
她只是需要点时间去淡然接受这事
Alone?
独自吗
The kids are growing up.
孩子们都长大了
Guess they don't need us as much anymore.
看来他们已经不那么需要我们了
Oh, well, that was the plan.
原本就该是这样才对啊
I just thought
我只是当初以为
it would feel better than this.
我们不会这么失落难受
Me too.
我也是
At least we still need each other.
至少我们还需要彼此
And I get so lucky.
我真的好幸运
Ok.
行了
Still got it!
泡妞绝技宝刀未老