摩登家庭 第六季 Modern Family Season 6 第2集: 顺其自然 Don't Push

上映日期: 2,014

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 贝丝·麦卡锡-米勒

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 诺兰·古德 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 奥布里·


台词
Okay. We're almost ready here.
基本准备好了
Okay. Now, easy on the filters, Cam.
好 滤镜别用得太过 小卡
It's a family picture. We don't need sepia tone.
全家福而已 不要用什么复古色调
You know what other tone we don't need?
你知道什么色调[语调]不该用吗
Play nice.
友好一点
Okay.
好吧
We are taking a new photo for above our mantel.
我们要拍张新照片挂在壁炉上
Lily's not in the one up there now,
现在挂的那张没有莉莉
and we...started to get the slight impression that...
我们察觉到...这似乎让她有点...
it was bothering her.
不满意
Lily, we're ready for dinner, sw--
莉莉 要吃晚饭啦 亲...
Big smiles!
笑得灿烂一点
- Great. - Great.
-太好了 -太好了
Let's take a look.
来看看
Okay. Not bad.
还不错
Not bad.
还不错
- Let's shake out our faces. - Really?
-我们来抖下脸 -真的要吗
Who took the online course? Shake 'em out.
是谁在网上看了教学视频 快抖抖
Yep. That's perfect.
可以了 非常好
1...2...
一...二...
- Chee-e-e-se! - Chee-e-e-se!
-茄...子... -茄...子...
Okay. Great!
好了 很好
Okay, um, Mitchell,
米奇尔
- can I see you over here, please? - Yeah.
-你能过来一下吗 -好
Hang tight, sweetie.
等一下 亲爱的
Look.
你看
Why is she doing that with her face?
她的脸怎么那样
I don't know. I've never seen
不知道 我从没见过
such a weird, forced smile.
这么怪异又勉强的笑脸
How do I look?
我好看吗
- Beautiful. - Perfect.
-美死了 -好看极了
家 庭
摩 登
第六季 第二集
What an amazing campus!
这校园太棒了
I mean, look at these cool buildings.
看那些楼都超酷的
And did you guys see the turtles?
你们有看到乌龟吗
And check this out --
再看看这个
A reflecting pond.
明镜般的池塘
Great. Maybe you can see how crazy you're being right now.
很好 你可以照照看你现在有多疯癫了
God, I wish I'd brought a frisbee.
天哪 我要是带飞盘来就好了
What's so special?
这里有什么特别的吗
It looks exactly like the college I went to.
跟我之前上的大学一模一样啊
And we've been here
我们在这里的时间
exactly as long as you were there.
也跟你在那里待的时间一样短
Luke, be nice.
卢克 别这么刻薄
Well, Alex is leaving.
艾丽克斯要走了
Somebody's got to keep the trains running.
总得有人继续毒舌传统吧
Back me up here, guys.
支持我啊 各位
This place screams "Alex," Right?
这地方太适合艾丽克斯了 对吧
It looks like every other college in America.
跟美国其他大学没什么区别啊
What am I missing?
有什么我没注意到的吗
Good grades, S.A.T. scores, basic verbal skills.
好成绩 SAT分数 基本语言能力
That's how you do it.
学着点
Caltech is the perfect school.
加州理工学院真是棒极了
For Claire.
对克莱尔来说
And Alex! Come on, we are talking about
还有艾丽克斯 拜托 我们说的可是
one of the best schools in the country.
全国最好的学校之一
And, yes, it happens to be 45 minutes from our house.
是的 离我们家是只有45分钟车程
Of course, we'll support her wherever she goes.
当然 她去哪儿我们都会支持她
Obviously. Nothing is more important to me
当然啦 对我来说 没什么
than her academic whatever,
比她的学业更重要
but with Alex,
但对于艾丽克斯
the important thing is keeping her close
最重要的是接下来四年
for the next four years.
要把她留在身边
After that, I'm never gonna see her
之后她要是去了海王星
unless she Skypes me from Neptune,
住在她建的生态馆里
where she's living in a biodome she invented.
除非打视频电话 否则再也见不到她了
Awesome! That means Christmas on Neptune!
太棒了 那就可以去海王星过圣诞了
Every other year?
两年去一次好吗
No. No.
不 不
All right, everyone, gather 'round.
各位 请聚拢过来
We'll be starting the tour in just a moment.
我们马上要开始参观校园了
Okay. I'm gonna peel off and hit the robotics lab
我要自己逛 去机器人实验室
to see how close they are to a working female.
看看它们跟职业女性有多像
Hold on.
等等
They're not nearly as close as you'd hope,
没你想象的那么像
and you're not leaving my side.
你不准离开我
But it's so boring.
但很无聊啊
It's like I'm being punished.
感觉像是在受罚
You are being punished.
你就是在受罚
That's what happens when your teacher calls
你老师告诉我你逃课
to tell me you cut class.
你就得受罚
I'm sorry. I lost track of time making my movie.
我很遗憾 我拍电影忘了时间
Hummingbirdman --
《蜂鸟人》
A superhero whose heart can beat a thousand times a minute.
一个每分钟心跳一千下的超级英雄
But can it love?
但他有感情吗
Check it -- there's a lab on campus
你们看 学校里有个实验室
where they do experiments on you for 50 bucks.
拿你做实验还给你50块钱
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I used to do a lot of these in college.
对对对 我以前在学校里经常做这个
Sometimes it's questions.
有时候是回答问题
Sometimes they hook stuff up to you.
有时候往你身上插一堆装置
Sometimes it's just palling around with a monkey,
有时候是跟一只猴子一起玩耍
wondering why they're rewarding him and not you.
不知道为什么他们只奖励猴子不奖励我
Well, that sounds great. You should go do that.
听起来不错 你应该试试
I'll go.
我要去
I'm up for it as long as they don't shave anything.
只要不用剃毛什么的 我就参加
Hey, I'd love the 50 bucks,
我很想赚这50块钱
but I'm pretty sure mom wants me here.
但我相信老妈希望我留下来
No, I don't. You can go.
没有 你可以去啊
Oh, you can drop the act.
别装了
I know you guys forced me to come here
我知道你俩逼我来这里
so I can watch Alex
就是要我学学艾丽克斯
and get all inspired by college again.
重新激发我上大学的梦想
We really didn't.
真的没有
Yeah, you just got in the car.
对啊 是你自己上车的
I only packed four sandwiches.
我只准备了四份三明治
Happy anniversary, Jay!
结婚纪念日快乐 杰
I don't love this tableau.
我不喜欢你这样
Is that Gloria's gift to me?
这是歌洛莉亚给我的礼物吗
What is it?
是什么
I don't know.
不知道
Sure you do. I can tell by the wrap job.
你肯定知道 一看就知道礼物是谁包的
She can't make corners like this, Manny!
她折不出这样的角 曼尼
Only because she's always in such a hurry.
那只是因为她总是匆匆忙忙的
Is life so busy you can't take 20 minutes
生活真有这么忙碌吗 连抽出20分钟
to get out the straight-edge and wrap a gift anymore?
找一把直尺好好包装礼物的时间都没有吗
Come on. I'm a little anxious about my gift for her.
别这样 我对我给她的礼物不太有信心
It would make me feel a lot better
如果能知道这礼物是
if I knew she phoned this one in.
电话购物来的我会不那么紧张
Sorry, Jay. Only time will tell.
抱歉 杰 只有时间会告诉你答案
Oh, God.
天哪
It's that black Panerai watch I wanted, isn't it?!
是我一直想要的沛纳海手表是不是
Why can't you be this fast when I'm your charades partner?
跟我猜字谜时 你反应怎么就没这么快
Hola, my loves!
好啊 亲爱的们
You didn't see me. Keep her out of the garage.
假装没看到我 别让她进车库
What are we gonna do?
我们要怎么办
I'm gonna talk to her.
我去跟她谈谈
I've been photographing her for years.
我给她拍了这么多年照片
We have a relationship.
我们之间建立了关系
Really? What's she like?
真的吗 对方人怎么样
I mean a professional relationship.
我是说职业关系
Look, I'm gonna tell her --
我要告诉她
Her smile is forced, it's unnatural,
她的笑是挤出来的 看起来不自然
and we're not going home until we get what we need.
我们没拍出好看的照片 就绝不回家
Couple of things --
我要吐槽两点
we are home, and that's mean.
首先我们在家 其次那很毒舌
What's your suggestion?
你有什么建议
We show her the photos
我们给她看照片
and let her discover her weird smile on her own.
让她自己发现她诡异的笑容
Okay. That's good.
好吧 好主意
I video our football games
就像我录下了我们的橄榄球赛
so I can see what we're doing wrong.
好让我看出哪里做错了
That's how I figured out
我就是那样发现
that powder-blue windbreaker washed me out so much.
粉蓝色风衣让我看起来没精神的
Oh, thank god. I'm sure the team appreciated that.
谢天谢地 橄榄球队一定很庆幸吧
- Lily, sweetheart, will you come here for a second? - Yep.
-莉莉亲爱的 你能过来一下 -好
Let's do this gently, okay?
我们温柔点 好吗
Hi, sweetheart.
亲爱的
Okay. So, daddy and I thought
好了 大爸和我觉得
that we would look at these photos together,
我们要一起看看这些
the pictures that we've taken so far,
到目前为止我们拍摄的照片
and see if there's anything that we would do differently.
看看我们能不能做出什么改变
Like, okay, when I look at this photo,
比如说 当我看到这张照片时
I think, "I could stand up straighter."
我觉得 我可以站得更直一点
- Yeah. - Cam?
-是啊 -小卡你呢
Okay. I think I could be
好 我觉得我不该帅得
a little less "Ryan Gosling"
像演员瑞恩·高斯林一样
and a little more "Every man."
应该表现得普通一点
Lily, is there anything that you see in yourself
莉莉 你看见什么
that you would want to change here?
想改变的地方了吗
Well, maybe we should just do one more?
也许我们该再拍一张
Really? Okay.
真的吗 好
This might need a little powder.
这张脸要补点粉
Uh, Jay?
Your wife's upstairs.
你老婆在楼上
You don't have to hide in the garage anymore.
你没必要再躲在车库里了
I'm not hiding.
我不是在躲着
Close the door, will you?
关上门好吗
How bad is the gift you bought her?
你给她买的礼物有多糟糕啊
I didn't buy her anything.
我没给她买东西
Bad idea.
那真的太糟了
I once gave her a bag full of hugs,
有次我给了她一袋拥抱
and she definitely prefers stuff.
她明显更喜欢实物
It's not hugs.
不是拥抱
Does that sound like me?
那听起来像是我的风格吗
I made her something in my pottery class.
我在陶艺课上给她做了点东西
I can't believe you took a pottery class.
你居然去上陶艺课
You're not the only one around here with an artsy side.
这家里不止你有艺术气质
Yeah, I could've bought her another piece of jewelry,
我可以给她买件首饰
but I thought, you know, she might like this a little more,
但我想着 她也许更喜欢这个
coming from the heart and all.
这是我倾注了心血的礼物
Well, show it to me. What is it?
给我看看 是什么
What is it?
这是什么
It's a bunny.
是只小兔子
It used to be my nickname for her.
我以前叫她兔兔
On our first date, she had a cold,
我们第一次约会时 她感冒了
and she was sniffling a lot,
经常吸鼻子
and her nose would wrinkle up real cute --
她的鼻子会很可爱地皱起来
you know, like a bunny.
就像小兔子一样
That's so sweet.
太有爱了
Yeah, but that watch is big and gorgeous
是啊 但那块表又大又华丽
and costs big bucks.
而且死贵的
I can't give her something handmade. I mean, she --
我不能送她自制的东西 她...
She's not sensitive like you and me.
她不像你我这么感情细腻
Listen to me.
听我说
I think you went to the jewelry store inside here,
我觉得你去了心灵的珠宝店
and you brought back a gem.
带回来了一块宝石
Knock it off.
闭嘴
You think so?
你这么觉得吗
She's gonna love it. It's perfect.
她会喜欢的 这太完美了
Perfect? Nah.
不算完美啦
But teacher Pablo did say it shows great promise.
但是帕布罗老师的确说我很有潜力
And I am proud of the tail.
尾巴是最让我自豪的部分
Look at that.
看看
No, no, I said look.
不不 我说的是看
Sorry.
对不起
And this building is home to one of our five Nobel laureates
这栋楼里住着本校的五位诺贝尔奖获得者
currently teaching here.
现在他们仍在这里教书
It also houses our high-current,
里面还有高电流
high-stability particle accelerator.
高稳定性的粒子加速器
Okay. You need to calm down.
行了 你得冷静点
This is a college tour,
这是参观校园
not Oprah's Favorite Things.
不是在演《奥普拉的最爱》
I am just so impressed by this place. Aren't you?
我只是被这学校震撼到了 你没有吗
Of course I am.
当然啦
It's one of the most prestigious tech schools in the country.
这是全国最著名的科技院校之一
But if you must know,
但如果你非得知道
I don't love everything about it.
我并不爱这所校园的一切
What? Oh, the mascot's a beaver.
是什么 对了 吉祥物是海狸
Don't worry. Those jokes will get old.
别担心 那些笑话会过时的
No, they won't, because I'm not coming here.
不会的 因为我不会来这里
Honestly, the only reason I took this tour today
说真的 我今天来参观的唯一原因就是
is so you won't accuse me of
好让你别说我没有给这学校
not giving it a fair shot.
一个公平的机会
Why wouldn't you want to go here?
你为什么不想来这里
I can't believe you're making me say this...
难以置信你要逼我说出来
It's too close to home.
这里离家太近了
I have to get away from you guys for a little bit, okay?
我得离你们远点 好吗
All right. We're gonna check out the dorms.
好了 我们去看看宿舍
Parents, say goodbye to your children.
父母们 跟孩子们道别吧
Okay.
I should go.
我该走了
Mom, wait!
妈妈 等等
Honey, it's okay.
亲爱的 没关系
We all say things that we don't mean sometimes.
我们有时候就是会心口不一
Low blood sugar. I need my sandwich.
低血糖 我要三明治
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right. You can please wait here,
好了 请你们在这里等着
and the experiment will begin shortly.
实验稍后开始
- Okay. Thank you. - Yeah.
-好 谢谢 -不用
What do you guys think this is gonna be?
你们觉得会是什么实验
I bet they'll show us those ink blots
我敢打赌他们会给我们看
that always look like two girls kissing.
像是两个女孩在接吻的墨迹
A little tip from an old pro --
老鸟给你点建议
They can electrify cheese, so...
他们可以给奶酪通电 所以...
Hey, look at that.
瞧瞧那个
"Do not push."
别按
[别按]
What are you doing?
你在干什么
Teaching this button a little something about free will.
教教这按钮什么叫自由意志
Luke, it says, "Do not push."
卢克 上面写着"别按"
Which just makes me want to push it more.
这让我更想按了
Haley, back me up.
海莉 帮我说句话
Push it, don't push it. I don't care.
按不按我都无所谓
Is this mirror weird? I look fuzzy.
这镜子是不是有点怪 我看起来很模糊
Who puts up a button
谁会安一个按钮
with a sign that says you can't push it?
然后贴个写着别按的标志啊
The same people who stack the deck
正是那些暗中布局
so the monkey always wins...
好让猴子每次都赢的人
Scientists!
科学家们
What are you talking about?
你在说什么
We're not waiting for the experiment.
我们不是在等着做实验
This is the experiment!
这就是实验
They're watching us right now!
他们正看着我们呢
Wait. What?
等等 你说什么
And...
准备
- Okay. Good. - All right. Let's take a look.
-好了 -我们来看看吧
Oh! Beautiful.
真漂亮
Okay. She looks like Pepper's pomeranian.
她看起来就像胡娇家的小博美
We have to say something.
我们得说说她
What's going on? Why are we still doing this?
发生什么事了 怎么还没拍完啊
Honey, daddy and I think you are a beautiful girl
宝贝 二爸和我觉得你是个漂亮的女孩
with a beautiful smile.
笑起来特别好看
Thank you.
谢谢
You're welcome.
不用谢
And I'm seeing that here, okay?
你现在就是这么好看
But I'm just not seeing it here.
可是在照片上却没看出来
What do you mean?
你什么意思
Uh, well, uh...
是这样的
Lily, you're doing a different smile today.
莉莉 你今天笑起来不太自然
Different how?
怎么不自然了
It's just a little... stiff.
稍微有一点 僵硬
Is it ugly?
很丑吗
It's not ugly. No.
一点也不丑
It's, uh -- it, um...
只是 只是
Cam...
小卡
Uh, well, s-sweetie, um,
是这样的 小宝贝
it's just not your normal smile, which is so beautiful.
看起来跟你平常美美的笑容有点不同
You mean I'm not beautiful?
你是说我不美吗
No, that's not what we're saying.
不 我们不是这个意思
Just forget it! I don't want to do this anymore!
算了吧 我不想再拍了
I'm an ugly monster,
我是个丑八怪
and I'm never coming out of my room again!
我要关在房间里永远不出门
Okay. Well, that was a disaster.
好吧 我们搞砸了
Agreed. But can I just say
的确 可是我得说
I love how melodramatic she's getting?
我好爱她那种超具戏剧性的气质
So fantastic.
非常棒
- The little... - I know.
-那种贵妃范儿 -我同意
There she is.
你在这
Hi, mi amor. Happy anniversary!
亲爱的 结婚纪念日快乐
Happy anniversary, honey.
你也是 亲爱的
I hope you like this.
我希望你喜欢这个
What did you get me?
你给我买了什么
What did you get me?
你给我买的这是什么啊
It's a bunny, mom.
老妈 那是个兔子
It's a little rough around the edges,
边缘不是很光滑
but I'm just hoping you'll love what I put into it.
但我希望你会喜欢我放在里面的东西
Oh, you put something inside?!
你在里面放了东西啊
I don't get it. There's nothing inside.
我不明白 这里面什么也没有
Yeah, that's, uh... 'cause, um...
那 那是因为
The damn stupid jeweler didn't put the bracelet in there.
那个白痴的珠宝商没把手链放进去
The rose gold with the waves that I told you that I loved?
是我超爱的那个玫瑰金带波纹的手链吗
Yeah. Yeah, that's the one.
对 就是那个
Jay.
No, it's fine, Manny.
没事的 曼尼
I can run down to the store right now and get it.
我现在就去那间店把它拿回来
Stupid jeweler!
白痴珠宝商
Ay, Jay, don't scream at him.
杰 别骂他
It was an honest mistake.
我相信这只是个无心之过
Yeah, in his heart,
也许他心里
he was probably trying to do the right thing.
还以为自己做的是正确的事情
And past the Millikan Library,
经过密立根图书馆
You'll find the Bridge Annex,
你会看到安耐克斯桥
which is also the same site
正是在这个地方
That Carl D. Anderson discovered the...?
卡尔·D·安德森发现了...
Neutron.
中子
Anyone else?
其他人呢
- Positron. - Positron.
-正电子 -正电子
That's right.
正确
In 1932...
1932年
On August 2nd...
8月2日
On the third floor.
在3楼
Really?
真的吗
I-I don't know. Maybe I just wanted to win.
我 我也不知道 我就是想赢过你
I'm Jason.
我叫詹森
Alex.
我叫艾丽克斯
Is this your first-choice school?
这里是你的第一志愿吗
No, I'm thinking M.I.T..
不 其实我想去麻省理工
That's weird.
真巧了
I live just half an hour from there.
我家离那儿只有半小时
Which explains why you want to go here.
这就是你想来这里的原因吧
I live here, and I want to go somewhere on the east coast.
我住在这儿 可是我想去东岸
Really? I'd love to be close to home.
真的 我倒想要离家近一点
Sunday dinners, laundry,
周日一家人共进晚餐 不用自己洗衣服
make sure my brother doesn't mess with
还能看着我弟弟 不让他毁了我的
my hand-painted civil war miniatures...
手工上色的南北战争模型
which I don't cherish.
其实我并没有非常爱惜啦
So why not M.I.T.?
那你为什么不去麻省理工
Well, for applied physics, this is the better program,
对于应用物理来说 这里的课程比较好
and I'm not gonna make the biggest decision of my life
而且我不会根据离父母远还是近
based off where my parents live.
来做自己人生最重要的选择
Okay, then.
挺好的
Sorry. Did that... sound judgey?
不好意思 我说的是不是太武断了
I'm not really good at talking to pretty girls.
和漂亮的女孩子在一起我就不会说话
I -- well, I have a touch of Asperger's.
我 我觉得我有点自闭症
No, I don't.
其实我没有
I just said that so you'd think I was interesting.
我这么说只是想吸引你的注意力
I was... just sorta hoping you'd be going here.
我只是 有点希望你能来这儿
Really?
真的吗
Did my mother put you up to this?
你是我妈派来的吧
Does your mom tell boys to flirt with you?
你妈会派男孩子来和你调情吗
Oh. You're -- you're -- you're flirting with me.
你 你是在和我调情啊
I mean, I don't mean to sound so surprised.
其实我一点都不惊讶
A lot of boys flirt with me.
很多男孩子都会跟我调情
Not a lot. Some.
没有很多 有一些
Actually, one of them has Asperger's.
的确有一个有自闭症的
He could tell you the weather on the day you were born.
他能告诉你你出生那天的天气
Okay. Well, I don't know why I said that.
好吧 我不知道自己为什么要说这个
The point is, I am single, by my own choosing, so...
关键是 我是单身 是我自己的选择
Oh, my god!
天啊
I am fine! I'm fine! Everything's fine!
我没事 我没事 什么事都没有
I have to push it.
我必须按它
It's all I can think of.
我脑子里只想着要去按它
Just let him push it. Who cares?
让他按吧 管他呢
No one is touching this button!
谁都不许碰这个按钮
Don't you see?
你不明白吗
This is a test of character --
这是一个性格测试
to see if we're the kind of people with self-control
测试我们是有自控能力的那类人
or the kind who just grab at any piece of cheese
还是那种看到面前有芝士
that's put in front of them.
就会拿起来吃的人
Don't you want to know what it does?
你难道就不想知道它能做什么吗
"Want to know what it does"?
想知道它能做什么
Of course I do. It's killing me.
当然 我超级想
But what I want more
但我更希望的是
is for you to learn to follow the rules.
你能遵守规则
Is this about me skipping class again?
你是不是又在说我逃课的事
It's weird how obsessed you are with that.
你这么执着这事真的太奇怪了
Now let me push that button!
让我按按钮
No!
不行
If you can't even pass a simple test,
如果你连这个简单的测试都过不了
how are you ever gonna get in to a good college?
怎么能进好大学
Or hold down a job? We only have one basement.
或者保住工作 我们只有一个地下室
There's no place for you to move
等你的人生也降到谷底时
when your life bottoms out!
你可就没地方去了
Okay.
好伤人
Dad, I cut that class
爸 我翘了那课
because I had to get one last shot for my movie.
是因为我必须为我的电影拍最后一组镜头
You would've done the same thing.
换你也会逃课的
Oh, my god!
我的天
You're not mad at me.
你气的不是我
You're mad at yourself because I'm just like you.
你在气你自己 因为我跟你当年一样
Total shot in the dark.
歪打正着
You're right -- I set a terrible example for you.
你说得对 我给你树了个坏榜样
No! It was awesome!
没这回事 这榜样很好
Do you think Steve Jobs followed every rule?
你以为史蒂夫·乔布斯有循规蹈矩吗
Doug Henning?
还有魔术大师道格·汉宁
Keep talking.
说下去
What about that guy who lived in that town
还有那个住在
where people weren't allowed to dance?
不让人跳舞的镇里的人
Did Footloose follow the rules?
《浑身是劲》的主人公有遵规守纪吗
His name was Ren, and he most certainly did not.
他叫伦 完全不守规矩
Maybe that's what those scientists are looking for --
也许科学家找的就是这种人
Rebels!
不墨守成规的人
You know what?
知道么
Who gives a hoot what those bastards want?
我才不管那些禽兽要找什么样的人
No offense.
无意冒犯
We're gonna break every rule, and we're pushing that button!
我们就要违反规则 就要按按钮
Yeah!
就是这样
Back away from the button!
离按钮远点
What are you doing?
你这是干什么
I've been breaking the rules my entire life,
我这一生都在违反规定
and look where it's gotten me.
看看我落得什么下场
I live in my parents' basement!
住在爸妈家的地下室里
I'm sick of being a failure at everything!
我已经恨透了自己总是一事无成
Oh, my god!
我的天
You're not mad at us.
你气的不是我们
You're mad at yourself.
你是气你自己
That's what I'm saying!
我就是这意思
Where were you?
你去哪了
Consoling Jay.
安慰杰
That bunny wasn't the only thing you shattered, lady.
你砸碎的不只是那只兔子 女士
When you first started dating him,
你第一次跟杰约会的时候
what was his nickname for you?
他给你取了什么昵称
Sexy pants.
性感裤裤
The other one.
另外一个
Bunny.
兔兔
Oh, so that's why he put the bracelet inside the bunny.
所以他才把手链放到兔子里
There was no bracelet.
里面没有手链
The bunny was the present.
兔子就是礼物
That?
就这只吗
He made it for you himself.
他亲手做了送你的
No.
不是吧
In a pottery class he's been taking for weeks.
他在陶艺课上做的 上了好几周课呢
No!
不会吧
And you smashed it on the counter.
结果你把它砸碎在台子上
And he was too embarrassed to say anything.
他尴尬得都不敢告诉你实情
No!
不是吧
I can't take it!
不能这样
Glue! Okay, give me glue!
胶水 快拿胶水来
I need glue!
我要胶水
Make it stop!
快让我停下来
Haley, put down the chair.
海莉 把凳子放下
Why should I?!
为什么
Because this is getting absurd,
因为这越来越荒唐了
and it's no fun being laughed at
被整屋科学家
by a room full of scientists and a monkey in a diaper.
和穿尿布的猴子嘲笑一点也不好玩
Yeah! We need to push that button,
没错 我们必须按下按钮
show those eggheads that we're not sheep!
告诉那些臭学究我们不是胆小鬼
No! Breaking the rules doesn't make you a hero!
不行 违反规定并不代表你是英雄
It makes you a screw-up!
而是个傻瓜
Take it from me, Luke --
记住我说的 卢克
One out of a million dropouts
一百万个退学学生里
becomes Steve Jobs.
才出一个史蒂夫·乔布斯
Do you know who become losers with no jobs?
知道有多少人变成没工作的败类吗
The other 99,000!
剩下的九万九千人
Honey, you are not a loser.
宝贝 你不是败类
Oh, please.
得了吧
I hear the shots you all take at me.
你们对我的"期望"我都听到了
I see my sister about to lap me
我妹妹就要跟我读同一个年级了
at a college that I would never be able to get into.
进的学校还是我做梦都进不了的
Even someone as dumb as me
就连蠢成我这样的都知道
can see that I'm a giant failure!
我是个多没出息的人
Haley, stop, okay?
海莉 别说了 好吗
Haley, let me tell you something --
海莉 我告诉你
You have value, talent, and potential
你有自己的价值 能力和潜力
that their tests can't measure.
是他们的测试衡量不出来的
Who cares if you don't fit into their little box.
没人在意你是否符合他们的要求
You're finding your way.
你在寻找适合自己的路
That's what your 20s are for --
二十几岁的年纪就应该这样
to take chances...
去尝试
to -- to make mistakes and to learn from them,
去犯错 吃一堑长一智
and you are learning from them.
而你已经在吸取教训了
The fact that you won't push this button proves that.
你不按按钮就证明了这一点
That was really sweet, dad.
说得太暖心了 爸
I can't believe I was gonna hit you
我居然还想
over the head with that chair.
抡凳子砸你
Wait. So now we're not pushing the button?
等等 所以我们不按按钮了吗
No. We're supporting Haley.
不按了 我们要支持海莉
For the rest of your life.
你下半辈子都要支持[养着]她了
That is not helpful.
说这话帮不上忙
We need to stick together.
我们要团结一心
Oh, my god.
我懂了
Oh, my god.
我懂了
That's what this test is.
测试的目的原来是这个
It's not about whether we push the button
它不在于到底
or don't push the button.
按不按按钮
You want to find out if this unites us or divides us.
你们是想看我们是为此团结还是分裂
Let's join hands
大家牵着手
and send these sons of bitches
给这些狗娘养的
and their filthy monkey a message!
和臭猴子开开眼
Feels good.
感觉好好
Wait a minute.
等等
How are they gonna know we're sending them a message
我们什么也不做的话他们怎么知道
if we're not doing anything?
我们要他们好看
That's true.
有道理
We have to hit that button.
我们必须按按钮
Damn straight.
完全尼玛的正确
Yeah.
好嘞
Who did that?
谁开的
We did...
是我们
as a family.
以一家人的名义
Did you not see the sign?
你们没看到标志吗
Now the A.C. won't shut off. We have to call a guy.
现在空调关不掉了 我们还得叫人来
Oh, I'm sorry. Is this...
不好意思 这个...
What if, uh...
如果...
Yeah, building full of scientists
对 这满楼的科学家
and no one thought to push the button twice.
没有一个想到按两下按钮试试
Please use number 2 pencils.
请使用二号铅笔
Yeah, just wall.
后面是墙
So this is the...test.
这才是测试
I got that cleared up with the jeweler.
我跟珠宝商说清楚了
Boy, was he embarrassed.
他尴尬死了
What's that?
这是什么
Is that my bunny?
是我的兔兔吗
No. I am your bunny.
不 我是你的兔兔
Jay, I don't want that bracelet anymore.
杰 我不想要那只手链了
This is the most amazing gift you have ever given me.
这是你送给我的最好的礼物
Really? You--you--you like it?
真的吗 你喜欢吗
I love it.
我爱死它了
And putting it back together
把它黏回去的过程中
made me realize how much work you put into it.
我意识到你为此倾注了多少心血
Well, it--it's all in the details, really.
说实话 全都在于细节
The bunny was in the clay.
兔子就在粘土之中
I just had to find it.
我只需要把它摸索出来
Now I'm going to give you yours.
现在看看我给你的礼物
I think it's about that time.
也是时候了
And this would be, um...
这个是...
A bookmark made of movie tickets
电影票制成的书签
from the first movie we ever saw together.
用的是我们看的第一场电影的票
I-I-I love it.
我很喜欢
It's the kind of thing I'd never get for myself.
这是那种我从来不会给自己买的东西
Ever.
从来不会
This is what we should always do for each other--
我们应该一直互相送这种礼物
thoughtful, handmade gifts.
有想法的 手工制作的礼物
We get too caught up in--in material possessions.
我们过于追求物质上的东西了
Ah, we got too much stuff.
我们拥有的东西太多了
Return this first thing tomorrow.
明天一早就把它退了
Yeah, and I'm gonna return the watch that I bought you.
我也要把我给你买的表退了
Dinner's ready!
晚饭好了
So, is that the rose gold bracelet that I wanted?
那是我想要的那条玫瑰金色手链吗
Dynamite piece of jewelry.
真是件极好的珠宝
And that watch--
说起那表
Is that the ceramic with the 10-day, uh, power reserve?
是陶制的 有十天后备电源的那款吗
Of course. It's so sexy, that watch.
当然 那表看上去真性感
Yeah, the matte finish
是啊 那种喷砂面
doesn't always catch the sun and blind you like this one.
不会像这只表一样反光让人看不清
It's so interesting, 'cause I love shiny things on my wrist.
真巧 我倒喜欢手腕上戴着闪光的东西
Oh, for God sakes, just keep the stupid gifts.
看在老天的份上 收下礼物吧
Hello?
Hey, it's me.
是我
I think Cam and I made a huge mistake.
我觉得我和小卡犯了个大错
Oh, I get it. Marriage is tough.
我理解 恋爱虽易 婚姻不易
Just take a deep breath
深呼一口气
and go flirt with somebody at the grocery store.
到杂货店找个人调下情就好了
No, about Lily.
不 是莉莉的事
We're trying to take this new family picture,
我们想拍张新的全家福
and she's doing this weird smile thing...
可她一直笑得很诡异
And you said something?
你们说什么了吗
Uh, well, let's--let's just say Cam did.
假设 假设是小卡说的
First of all, all kids go through this.
首先 每个小孩都会这样
You should see every picture
该让你看看卢克三年级时
we have of Luke from third grade.
他每张照片的样子
He looks like he's mid-sneeze, which is a shame,
他看上去好像在打喷嚏 实在太可惜了
'cause I was having a great boob year.
因为那年我胸大很上镜
What did you do?
你采取的什么措施
I think it might've been the birth control I was taking, but...
可能是因为当时吃的避孕药 但...
No, come on. About Luke!
不 我是指卢克
Oh! Nothing. We didn't do anything.
什么都没做 我们没采取任何措施
Mitchell, I say this with love,
米奇尔 我要饱含爱意地告诉你
but when you became a parent,
早在你要做家长的时候
I knew this was gonna be a problem for you
我就知道这可能会成问题
'cause you like to control everything.
因为你爱掌控一切
Good lord. What would that sound like without love?
天啊 这句话要是不含爱意会是什么样
Bottom line-- it's all gonna work itself out.
总而言之 船到桥头自然直
But if you push her on it,
可如果你给她施压
she's just gonna push you away.
她与你也就渐行渐远
Oh, my God.
天啊
Thanks for coming, everybody.
感谢大家的到来
As you know, our acceptance rate is 8%,
正如你们所知 我们的录取率是8%
so in the fall, I look forward to seeing one out of...
在秋季我见到的每个人战胜了其他...
- 12.5. - 12.5.
-12.5人 -12.5人
12.5.
12.5人
So...not him.
必然不会有他
Well, I guess this is it, M.I.T.
看来该道别了 要去麻省理工的人
Uh, when you visit Boston, look me up...
如果你到波士顿玩 记得找我...
Darling.
达令[亲爱的]
Okay, sweetie.
好吧 甜心
Uh, t-that's my last name-- Jason Darling.
那是我的姓 我叫詹森·达令
Oh, well, Alex Dunphy--
原来如此 我叫艾丽克斯·邓菲
"P-h" not "F",
邓超的"邓"不是凳子的"凳"
"Y" not "E-e".
王菲的"菲"不是"非诚勿扰"的"非"
"D-u-n-p-h"...
右耳旁一个"又" 草字头下...
Why am I still talking?
我话咋这么多
All right.
好吧
Bye.
再见
There you are.
原来你在这
Listen, honey, I am so sorry about pushing so hard earlier.
宝贝 很抱歉我之前一直逼你
If anyone is able to make a smart decision
如果要问有谁能做出明智的
about where to go to school, it's you.
择校决定 那就是你了
Even if that school is all the way
哪怕那所学校远在
on the other side of the country.
美国的另一头
Actually, there's a lot to like here.
其实 这里有很多不错的地方
Really?!
真的吗
That's cool.
好极了
Whatever.
无所谓啦
I guess there's somebody around here
我猜家里有这么一个人
she's not ready to say goodbye to.
让她舍不得离开
He friended me!
他加我好友了
Okay, come on, we have something to show you.
来吧 我们要给你看个东西
Is it dinner, or is my mouth too ugly to put food in?
是晚饭吗 还是说我的嘴太丑不能吃饭
Okay, no.
不是
And please don't say things like that about yourself.
另外不要再这么说自己了
You picked one?
你们选了一张吗
We sure did,
当然了
and we're sorry we made you feel bad.
很抱歉我们让你不开心了
We just weren't used to your new smile,
我们只是不习惯你的新笑容
But now we are, and we love it!
可现在我们爱死它啦
Yes, it's beautiful, and you're beautiful,
是啊 照片美极了 你也美极了
and we don't want to change a single thing about you.
我们不想改变[换掉]你身上的任何东西
Except maybe your underpants.
内裤除外
Okay, where did that laugh come from?
这笑声是什么情况
I don't know, but it's gotta go.
不知道 但必须让她改