摩登家庭 第六季 Modern Family Season 6 第21集: Integrity

上映日期: 2,014

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 贝丝·麦卡锡-米勒

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 诺兰·古德 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 奥布里·


台词
- Don't ask. - Don't tell.
-别问 -别说
原美国军中对待同性恋的原则
It's probably obvious, anyway.
反正或许也挺明显的
I was up all night crying.
我哭了一夜
Let's see if she's here. Gloria?!
看看她在不在家 歌洛莉亚
Sarah Fink, my lab partner
莎拉·芬克 我的实验室伙伴
who I hoped one day would be my love partner.
我原希望有一天能成为我的爱情伴侣
I caught one of my so-called friends hitting on her,
我发现某个我所谓的朋友在勾搭她
and now she's like the fetal pig
现在她就跟我们以前
we once so happily shared --
一起做实验用的小猪一样
Cold, unresponsive, heartless.
冰凉 冷漠 无心
You got two choices --
你现在有两个选择
You can mope your way up those stairs and soak in a pity bath,
你可以爬到楼上 沉浸在伤心浴缸中
or you can pick yourself up, march into that school,
也可以提起精神 昂首挺胸去学校
and act like you don't even know that girl.
假装你根本不认识那姑娘
Thanks.
谢谢
If mom asks, I borrowed her tub pillow.
如果老妈问 就说我借了她的浴缸枕
Jay, don't forget to drop Joe at Mitch and Cam's later.
杰 别忘了一会儿把乔载去米奇和小卡家
Yeah, what time are they expecting me to, uh --
好 他们要我几点去...
Oh, what the hell?
什么情况
Oh, isn't it cute?
是不是很萌啊
Last night when I went to do my nails,
昨晚我去做美甲的时候
the girls did it just for fun.
那里的小姑娘给他做着玩的
- What's fun about a lifetime of gender confusion? - Ay, please.
-造成一辈子的性别困惑有什么好玩的 -拜托
It's the same as when you took him to the Dodgers game
这不就跟你带他去看道奇队的比赛
and you brought him back with that Dodgers cap.
回来还戴上了道奇队的帽子一样嘛
You think? Or is it different in every conceivable respect?
你觉得呢 当然是大大不一样了
Ay, and don't forget that Phil is gonna be meeting you
别忘了菲尔还在米奇和小卡家
at Mitch and Cam's
等着帮你
to help you bring Lily's princess castle here.
把莉莉的公主城堡搬来这里呢
She's outgrown it, but Joe loves that thing.
莉莉已经不玩那个了 但乔喜欢得很呢
Ay, don't make that face.
别做那种表情
- You're gonna bring it, right? - Sure, honey.
-你会搬回来的吧 -当然了 亲爱的
Okay. Hold him.
好了 扶着他
I picked a fine time to run out of lavender bath beads.
薰衣草浴盐用完了 可真会挑时候
I wanted two rough and tumble boys.
我原本想要两个猛男儿子
I got a Manny...
结果我有了曼尼[修手指甲]
and a Pedi.
和帕蒂姑娘[修脚趾甲]
家 庭
摩 登
第六季 第二十一集
She's my first girlfriend, really.
她是我第一个女朋友 真的
This time tomorrow, she'll be in our living room,
明天这个时候 她就会在我们的客厅里
if we can fit her through the doorway.
如果能顺利通过门廊的话
Okay, I feel like I have to ask.
行了 我忍不住要问一问了
Dad's about to buy a "Miss pac-man."
老爸想买个吃豆小姐游戏机
Ms. What was our struggle for?
是女士 刚刚纠正你多久了
And not just any "Ms. Pac-man,"
不是普通的吃豆女士游戏机
but an original 1982 fully reconditioned podium-style unit.
而是1982年原装修复的矮款
With original coin return.
带有原始的退币口
They're even throwing in the stool.
他们还送了凳子呢
Come on!
拜托
Oh, you know, you're right. It's stupid.
好吧 你是对的 是挺傻的
Just be taking up space we need
那会占据实用东西的空间
for things we actually use, like the piano -- oh, wait.
比如那架钢琴 等等 是吗
What's going on with you?
你怎么回事
Oh, I have a throbbing headache.
我头疼得厉害
It's making it hard to...
搞得我很难去
Pretend that you're sick?
装病吗
Yeah, you just ate a bushel of cereal.
是啊 你刚刚才吃了一大碗麦片
Check the structural integrity of the trophy case, bitches,
检查一下奖牌盒有没有坏 小表砸们
'cause mama's bringing home some hardware!
因为老娘又要带点家伙什回来了
Awards day at school --
今天是学校颁奖日
The one day of the year Alex has some real swagger.
一年中只有这天艾丽克斯会趾高气昂地走路
Ironically, the one thing she's not good at.
讽刺的是 她非常不擅长这个
When I say "Trophy," You say "Trophy"!
我说奖牌 你说奖牌
Trophy!
奖牌
Trophy!
奖牌
Can I get a wha-what?
能给我点那什么吗
What?
什么
I always worried that Alex winning all those awards
我一直担心艾丽克斯拿了那么多奖
would bother Luke, and looks like it finally did.
会刺激到卢克 结果好像真的刺激到了
Can't be easy growing up in the shadow of a superstar sister.
在一个超级明星姐姐的阴影下长大 实属不易
Look at Mitchell.
看看米奇尔就知道了
Okay, do you have any queens?
你有皇后吗
Yeah, two big ones.
有啊 两个呢
Okay, you know what? It was funny the first time.
好了 你知道吗 第一次这么说是很搞笑
Now it's just getting mean.
现在就显得很刻薄了
What was that?
怎么回事
Mr. Polasky, our upstairs neighbor, died last week.
波拉斯基先生 我们楼上的邻居 上周去世了
He was 93, and he'd been sick for a while.
他93岁了 而且生病有段日子了
Yeah, and we -- we tried cheering him up
所以 我们...我们想让他开心点
with a "Get well" sign in the front yard.
就在前庭挂了个"好起来"的标语
快点好起来
Okay, how's that look?
好了 看起来怎么样
Looks great.
很不错
Honestly.
说真的
Oh. No! No.
不 不
"Get well son"?
"好起来 孩子"
Okay, well, you know what?
好了 算了
"Soon" seemed a little bossy anyway.
反正"快点"显得有点专横
Mitchell and I have always discussed
米奇和我一直在商量
trying to buy the place
如果斯坦有什么不测
in the event something happened to Stan.
我们就把他的房子买下来
We -- we could use the extra space for a guest room
我们可以用多出来的空间改造成客房
or an office or maybe even...
或者办公室 甚至是
a nursery.
育婴室
I think I may want another child.
我想再养个孩子
But I don't want to bring it up to Mitchell
但我不想告诉米奇尔
and put pressure on him
给他造成压力
because he's been so adamant about not wanting one.
因为他一直很坚定地表示不想再养了
The last thing he's thinking about is a...
他最不想要的就是...
Nursery.
育婴室
Lately, I've been having stirrings,
最近我情绪有点不稳定
but because it was such an emotional roller coaster in the past,
但因为过去就像是一辆可怕的情绪过山车
I don't want to bring it up
我不想再经历一遍
unless I have some sort of indication...
除非我得到了某种启示...
That we're both on the same page.
我们意见一致
That's why, when Gloria asked if we'd watch Joe,
所以当歌洛莉亚问我们能否照看乔时
I said "Sure."
我说 当然啦
It'd be a chance to remind Mitchell
那或许可以提醒米奇尔
how nice it is to...have a baby.
拥有宝宝的感觉有多好
Claire Dunphy.
克莱尔·邓菲
What can I do you for?
有什么能帮你做的
Oh, it's not so much what you can do me for.
你可帮我"做"不了什么
Sounded a -- a tiny bit prostitute-y.
听起来有点淫荡
I'm sorry about that.
抱歉
Actually, I do have a tiny favor to ask.
实际上 我的确要请你帮个小忙
You know, I love your family.
我爱你的家人
- I mean, Haley, our homecoming queen. - Yeah.
-海莉是我们的返校节女王 -好吧
And now Alex winning just about every academic award.
现在艾丽克斯赢得了每个学术奖项
- I know. - It's been an honor to teach the dunphy children.
-我懂的 -教邓菲家的孩子是我的荣幸
Well, today I'm here to talk about Luke.
我是来谈谈卢克的事的
Is that the science rabbit?
是做实验用的小兔子吗
That's my son.
是我儿子
Yes. Of course.
当然啦
That's sort of the point.
我想说的就是跟这个有关的
I think he's feeling a little bit overlooked.
我觉得他感觉有点被忽视了
I was wondering if you could just,
我想知道你能不能
you know, toss him one of those awards today.
今天颁给他一个奖项
Just...
就...
Well, I'm afraid all of the award winners
恐怕所有的获奖者
have already been decided.
都已经决定了
Oh, but, hey, if it makes him feel better,
不过 如果这能让他感觉更好的话
he was in the running for the integrity award.
他之前在竞争品格正直奖
He just got edged out by --
他只是被对手打败了
Scott Wheeler?
斯科特·威勒吗
Oh, that little weasel's a narc.
那小子简直是个缉毒特警
Halloween carnival, 2008 --
2008年万圣节嘉年华
"Mrs. Dunphy's grape juice smells like medicine."
"邓菲太太的葡萄汁闻起来有药味"
It was a long morning.
那个上午好漫长
It would mean so much to him.
这对他来说会意义重大的
Well, Claire...
克莱尔
That wouldn't be fair.
那不公平
I know. I'm sorry.
我不知道 对不起
I'm so sorry.
非常抱歉
I-I-I really am -- so embarrassing.
我真的好令人感到难堪
Maybe there's some sort of, um --
也许我能
I don't know, like, a -- a -- a donation or something
我说不好 捐一笔钱
I could give to the auto shop to, um...grease the wheels.
给汽车店 来给车轮上上油 促成事儿
We're good on grease.
我们不缺油
But you can never have too much brake fluid, so --
但是有多少制动液都不嫌多[打住]
Or perhaps the soccer team could use some new cleats,
也许足球队需要一些防滑钉
- help them get their... - Kick back?
-帮他们 -反击吗[回扣]
Okay, Mrs. Dunphy, I'm really doing everything I can
好了 邓菲太太 我真的在尽量
to ignore the fact that you're trying to bribe me
无视你想贿赂我 从而让你儿子获得
for the Marlon Boniface integrity award.
马龙·邦尼菲斯品格正直奖这一事实
I'm so glad you can remember that name,
很高兴你能记得那个名字
but you can't remember Luke.
但你连卢克都记不住
My first day off in a month,
我这个月第一次放假
I'm headed out the door to go shopping with Gloria,
我要出去跟歌洛莉亚逛街
and my stupid boss needs me to pick up some stupid orchid.
结果我的蠢老板需要我去拿兰花
Like my time's not valuable?
好像我的时间就不值钱一样
Gloria was gonna help me pick out a toe ring.
歌洛莉亚要帮我选足环呢
Oh, I don't care if you are here illegally,
我不管你是不是非法的[偷渡民]
you're gorgeous.
你太美了
Listen, mister, for your information, I am --
听着先生 告诉你一下 我...
Flower. He's talking...flower.
花 他说的是花
Gavin, I would like to introduce you --
加文 我想给你介绍...
Where are the photos from the Milan Show I asked for?
我要的米兰秀的照片呢
I-I don't remember you asking for them.
我不记得你要过啊
Oh. I guess one of us is mistaken, but who?
我想我俩之间有人搞错了 但是是谁呢
The fashion icon profiled by Vanity Fair
因为引领了袜子新长度
for pioneering a new sock length,
而登上《名利场》的时尚偶像
or the part-time employee who shares a stapler?
还是共用订书机的兼职员工
Sorry.
对不起
Sorry, sorry, sorry. Here they are.
对不起 对不起 给你
Oh, look what's new for fall.
瞧瞧秋季的新品
Thumbprints.
拇指纹
Do you know the Thai, German, Argentine, Mexican
你知道泰国 德国 阿根廷 墨西哥的
- gourmet food truck back to basics? - Yes.
-美食车"返璞归真"吗 -知道
I need you to make me a standing reservation there.
我需要你帮我站位预定
How do I make a standing reservation?
我要怎么站位预定啊
Parking's a bitch.
那里很难停车
I need you to go there, find a spot,
我需要你过去 找个地方
and stand in it until I arrive.
站在那里直到我过去
I wanted to kill him.
我想杀了他
But I bite my tongue, because in this family,
但我保持沉默了 因为这家人
they think that I am a Colombian hothead,
觉得我是哥伦比亚的急性子[热头]
which is crazy because a colombian hot head is
这很疯狂 因为哥伦比亚的急性子
when you set somebody's head on fire.
会烧了别人的头
It smells terrible, but it sends a message.
气味很臭 但能让别人记住教训
Go somewhere else.
去别的地方停车
It's me -- Gloria.
是我 歌洛莉亚
What are you doing? I told you to go shopping without me.
你干什么呢 我跟你说了自己去逛街
I couldn't enjoy it knowing you're standing there
我知道你站在这里像是橙色交通锥一样
like a little orange cone.
就没法享受逛街了
It's my job. It's fine.
这是我的工作 没事的
No, it's not fine. He's a terrible man.
不 这是不对的 他是个糟糕的人
But I did a little something to make you feel better.
但我做了点事 让你感觉好些
Oh, my god, what have you done?
天啊 你做了什么
He messes with something I love --
他敢整我爱的人
I mess with something he loves.
我就去破坏他喜欢的东西
The second it goes missing,
这东西一丢
he's going to check security cameras,
他就会去查监控
and I'm going to get fired.
然后我就会被炒鱿鱼
So what?
那又怎样
He's the worst person I have ever met,
他是我见过最差劲的人
and there was a man in my village
我当年住的村子里可有个人
named Flavio the Baby Puncher.
叫"揍孩暴徒弗拉维奥"
Hey, cone. Move.
喂 占车位的 动一动
Okay. Um, just -- just leaving.
好吧 我就走
Hello?
Faster.
快一点
I'd already been caught trying to bribe the principal,
我试图贿赂校长已经被发现了
but believe it or not,
可不管你信不信
I was still trying to think of a way
我还在想办法
to get Luke that award.
帮卢克拿到那个奖
Then I saw Scott Wheeler.
然后我看到了斯科特·威勒
Yeah, he was a narc and a goody two-shoes,
没错 他是个小缉毒警 也是个老好人
but he was also just a child.
但他毕竟还是个孩子
And I knew the right thing to do.
然后我就知道该做什么了
Sometimes all it takes is a little nudge.
有时候你只需要轻轻"推"一下
What?
怎么了
- He is so adorable. - I know, isn't he?
-他太可爱了 -就是啊
Remember when Lily was like this?
还记得莉莉像他这么大的时候吗
What do you say when I'm not here?
背着我说什么呢
Joe, let's show Mitchell
乔 给米奇尔看看
how you can catch and throw the ball.
你怎么接球扔球的
Let's see.
来看看
Is this so that I'll learn?
这是在教我吗
Oh, yes -- well, no, but, I mean,
对啊 不 不是 不过
if you pick up on it, that'd be great.
要是你能学会就太好了
Well, no, actually, here --
好吧 这样
Joe, let's show Cam how we can dance, huh?
乔 我们来给小卡展示一下怎么跳舞
I love a dance party.
我喜欢舞会
Oh, there we are. I like this beat.
就是这样 我喜欢这个节奏
- Should I join you? - Yes, of course.
-我要一起吗 -当然
Okay, if you insist.
盛情难却啊
Oh, how fun is this?
多好玩啊
So fun.
太好玩了
- You look so happy. - You look so happy.
-你看起来很开心 -你看起来也很开心
No, seriously, I wish you could see
不 说真的 我真希望你能看到
the happy look on your face.
自己这么开心的样子
Well, if it's half as happy as the look on your face...
如果那有你一半开心的话
Mitchell, are we almost discussing
米奇尔 你心里想的
what I think we're almost discussing?
是不是跟我想的是一样的
- I want to have another baby. - I do, too.
-我想再要一个孩子 -我也是
I just was afraid to say anything.
我只是不敢说出口
I was, too.
我也是
I -- but the timing seems right, right?
可现在似乎是个好机会
I mean, we both seem to be on the same page.
我们的想法都差不多
I-I just really miss having a baby around.
我好怀念家里有个小宝宝的日子
The writing's on the wall.
小孩子在墙上的涂鸦
But mostly on the curtains.
可主要是在窗帘上
Oh, boy, okay.
天啊 好吧
Oh. All right. That's fine.
没关系
There's water underneath the seat there if you want it.
要喝水的话椅子下面有
Those guys at the loading dock
上货区的那些人
really gave me the business
看到我拖的是公主城堡
when they found out I was hauling a princess castle.
一直在笑话我
Something was bugging him. He needed to talk.
他在为什么事烦恼 我要跟他谈一下
It's like I don't want to be happy.
我真是自讨苦吃啊
Well, you've obviously got something on your mind.
很明显你有心事
Claire and I had a thing.
克莱尔和我闹了点不愉快
Oh, you're just gonna make fun of me.
你知道了肯定要笑话我的
No, I promise I won't make fun of you.
不会的 我保证不笑话你
I've always wanted a "Ms. Pac-man" machine,
我一直想要一台吃豆女士游戏机
but Claire said no.
可是克莱尔说不行
Actually, she didn't say anything.
其实她什么都没说
She just made a disapproving noise, and I rolled over.
她只是发出不同意的声音 我就放弃了
Pretty wimpy, huh?
我很懦弱吧
No. I've been there.
不 我也经历过
- Really? - You have to sometimes.
-真的吗 -有些时候没办法
That's the way marriages work.
婚姻就是这样
All this happy wife, happy life sort of stuff.
老婆高兴你才能有好日子什么的
Tell you what would make me happy.
我告诉你什么会让我高兴
This bad boy right here.
就是这个小家伙
It's still in my shopping cart
还在我的购物车里呢
Cause I just can't say goodbye.
因为我没法放弃
Who doesn't want a happy life?
谁不想要幸福生活
But soon you're saying, "Yes, dear,"
不过很快你就会想都不想地说
and, "whatever you need, dear,"
"是 亲爱的
without even thinking about it.
你说什么就是什么 亲爱的"
Anti-glare plexi, reinforced podium.
防反光有机玻璃 舞台效果增强
Stand up every once in a while, you lose all your power.
偶尔就站起来跟你对着干 你一点办法都没有
It's even got a wrist pad for your knob hand.
甚至还有专门放手的手腕垫
Before you know it,
没等你反应过来
you're picking up a pink princess castle
就已经载着一座粉色的公主城堡
for your pedicured 2-year-old,
给做了美甲的两岁小孩送去
saying goodbye to your last chance
完全丧失了最后一个
to have one red-blooded man in the family.
培养铁血真汉子的机会
And you're getting that damn game, Phil!
把游戏买下来吧 菲尔
What in the name of "Pac-man" creator toru iwatani
看在吃豆人之父岩谷彻的份上
- have you done?! - You deserve it.
-你都做了什么 -你值得这个
You work hard. You provide for your family.
你努力工作 养家糊口
No regrets.
不能有遗憾
You know what? I don't regret it.
你知道吗 我一点都不后悔
Of course you don't.
你当然不
I'm the owner of a "Ms. Pac-man"!
我是吃豆女士的主人
This is exhilarating!
真是太爽了
Thanks, Jay.
谢谢你 杰
You know, every now and then,
话说 时不时的
- I wonder how you really feel about me. - Bup bup!
-我会想知道你对我的真正看法 -就此打住
I'm sure you'd do the same for me.
我知道你也会为我这么做的
- Gotcha. - Good.
-懂了 -那就好
- Message received. - Good.
-明白你的意思了 -很好
What the hell did you do?!
你都干了什么
I thought you sent me a message!
你不是给我了点暗示吗
Have you lost your mind?!
你疯了吗
Thank God it's still in one piece.
谢天谢地 城堡还是好的
We can probably--
也许我们可以
Okay, dummy.
好了 傻蛋
We get this thing in the backyard,
我们把这东西挪到后院
we nail it together,
自己拼起来
and Gloria will never find out.
歌洛莉亚永远也不会发现
Don't do this, Jay.
别这么做 杰
As your best friend, I implore you.
作为你最好的朋友 我恳求你
If we rebuild this castle,
如果我们重建城堡的话
we tear down everything we built today.
我们就摧毁了今天所建造的一切
What? And what?!
你在说什么
We stood up for ourselves.
我们今天站起来了反抗
There's no turning back.
已经没有回头路了
We're going to tell Claire and Gloria what we did.
我们要向克莱尔和歌洛莉亚坦白我们的所为
I'm scared, Phil, okay?
我怕了 菲尔 可以吗
They count on that fear. They feed off it.
她们要的就是这种害怕 那只会让她们更嚣张
No more.
不能再这样了
Someone's looking sexy and sweaty.
某人看上去大汗淋漓 甚是性感啊
That's right.
没错
And this sexy, sweaty someone
那个性感猛男
is now the proud owner of a vintage "Ms. Pac-man" game.
现在成了吃豆女士的主人
Oh, it came?
游戏机送到了吗
They promised they weren't gonna deliver it until tomorrow.
那些人说好明天才送的
I wanted to be there to see your face.
我还想看看你惊喜的表情呢
It was killing me this morning
今早你说你想自己买一个的时候
when you said you wanted to get your own.
我差点就忍不住告诉你了
Do ya love it?
你喜欢吗
Love, I love you.
喜欢 我爱你
Jay?
What took you so long?
你怎么花了这么久
Joe's gonna be here in 30 minutes.
乔30分钟后就要回来了
What happened to the castle?
城堡怎么了
Little snafu.
出了点小差错
About this princess castle--
说到这个公主城堡
What's that?
那是什么
Black paint and a skull flag
黑油漆还有海盗旗
so that we can turn this princess thing
这样我们就能把公主城堡
into a pirate castle.
弄成海盗城堡了
Pirate castle?
海盗城堡吗
Yes. He's a boy.
对啊 他毕竟是个男孩子
We have talked about this.
我们不是谈过了吗
Why do men never listen?
男人为什么总听不进去呢
It's always, "Sure, honey. Sure, honey."
就知道嘴上说着 "没问题亲爱的"
I don't know. Marriage is hard.
谁知道呢 婚姻总是这么不易
Okay, we can solve both our problems.
好了 现在问题都可以解决
We put this princess castle together in the next 30 minutes.
把这个公主城堡在30分钟内拼好
- Let's go! - How does that solve my problem?
-走吧 -这怎么能解决我的问题
Just go!
快行动
Oh, my gosh, what happened?
天啊 发生了什么
Joe took Lily's car for a little spin.
乔把莉莉的车开出来玩了一下
Had a little fern-der bender, but it's okay. It's fine.
发生了一点小事故 不过没事
Well, the curtains he drew on
他刚刚画过的窗帘
are gonna need to be professionally cleaned,
要送去专业清洁店才行
But they were overdue.
不过窗帘早就该送去洗了
Yeah. It's fun having this energy back in the house.
是啊 重回这种干劲十足的状态真好
It is. Where is that little pudding-filled rocket, anyway?
是啊 那个刚刚吃饱了布丁的小家伙呢
Oh, there he is. There he goes.
他在这里
- You see him? - Okay, yeah, he's going into the bathroom.
-你看见他了 -他要去卫生间了
- Okay. Oh. It's locked. - Locked?
-他把门锁上了 -锁上了
I'm gonna go around to the other door. Yeah.
我们去开另外一扇门
- Joe! - Joe!
-乔 -乔
Okay, well, that's gonna clog.
马桶肯定堵上了
All right, I'll get the plunger.
好吧 我来拿马桶塞
Okay, now, sweetie, listen.
亲爱的 听好了
We can't use that much toilet paper
我们不能用这么多厕纸
because it's wasteful.
因为这样很浪费
Oh, my gosh. My keys.
不好 我的钥匙
No, no! No! No, no, no!
不 不 不 不要
Oh, good, it didn't clog.
真好 没堵住啊
Okay. Oh, geez.
天呐
Lily, did you spill purple paint on the floor?
莉莉 是你把紫色颜料洒在地上的吗
Yeah, I'm the problem today.
是啊 今天的麻烦精是我呢
Oh, geez.
天呐
Oh, God! The vanderkolff!
天啊 范德考夫沙发被毁了
What?
什么
Oh, God, the vanderkoff!
天呐 沙发
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
没事 没关系
We'll, we'll just get it professionally cleaned.
把它送去专业清洁店就好了
Yeah, w-we'll just throw it in with the curtains.
是啊 跟窗帘一起送去
Ball!
球球
Oh, no, that's not a ball.
不 那不是球球
No. No, no, no. That's a criminally expensive Santangelo bowl.
不不不 那是个贵到吓死人的圣安杰洛牌玻璃碗
Okay, I'm gonna sneak around behind him
听着 我悄悄地绕到后面去
snd you're just gonna keep him talking.
你继续说话分散他的注意力
Joe, you don't want to do this.
乔 你不想这么做的
You know, as of right now, you haven't done anything wrong.
现在你还没有犯下大错
You just hand that over to me,
把碗给我
and it's like nothing ever happened, see?
大家相安无事 好吗
Okay, he's not baby face nelson. He's an actual baby.
他又不是长着婴儿脸的罪犯 他就是个小孩而已
Okay, you know what? You want to help out?
你想来帮忙吗
Slide something underneath it like a throw pillow.
扔点东西过来垫着 比如靠枕
Throw!
扔球球
You forget what a handful kids are when they're little, huh?
我们都忘了小孩子有多麻烦 对吧
Yeah, I didn't realize how easy we have it
是啊 我之前都没意识到 现在莉莉这么大了
- Now that Lily's so independent. - Yeah.
-我们过得有多舒坦 -是啊
Plus, we're not as young as we were when she was like this.
再说 我们也不像莉莉当年这么大时那样年轻了
Mitchell, are -- are we almost discussing
米奇 我们是不是在讨论
What I think we're almost discussing?
我脑海中想的那件事
Maybe we shouldn't rush into having another kid?
也许我们不该急着领养孩子
It's a big decision, and I love the way our lives are now.
这是大事 而且我喜欢现在的生活状态
Oh, god, me, too!
天呐 我也是
Th-th-this doesn't make us selfish people, does it?
这不代表我们是自私的人吧
Of course not.
当然不是了
Baby Joe's stuck in the well.
小乔卡在井里了["好"字]
- Leave him. - He‘s fine.
-管他的呢 -能有啥事
No, no, no. A little bit more to the left.
不对 往左边放点
What are you doing here?
你在这干嘛
I can't believe I have to beg you to go shopping.
不敢相信我得求你去购物
Well, I have to make sure
我得确保
that you're putting that thing in the right place
你把这东西放对地方
since this stupid, horrible job is so important to you.
因为你觉得这份蠢工作对你很重要
Ay, Haley, I have to say,
海莉啊 我得说
today I lost a little bit of respect for you.
今天让我有点瞧不起你
Goodbye, Gloria.
不送 歌洛莉亚
You need to learn how to stand up for yourself.
你得学会站起来维护自己
Do you know how easy that is for you to say?
你知道你说出这话有多容易吧
No, no. Nothing in English is easy for me to say.
才怪 说英语对我来说很难的
Unlike you, I don't have a rich husband.
跟你不同 我没有有钱的老公
What I do have is a reputation for being a screw-up
大家都觉得我什么事都会搞砸
who never follows through on anything.
什么事都坚持不下去
which is why, in case you haven't noticed,
这就是为什么 如果你没留意到的话
I'm in my third year of a two-year college program
两年的大学我已经读了第三年了
and still living in my parents' basement.
而且还住在父母的地下室里
Look, I know that this job sucks,
听着 我知道这份工作很挫
but it might actually lead to something.
但也许能让我有所成就
Do you know who had this job five years ago?
你知道5年前谁在干这份工作吗
Gavin, and he worked for an even bigger jackass than he is.
加文 而且他老板比他还混蛋
Hey! That was a quick lunch.
你好啊 午餐吃得可真快啊
Yeah, the line was too short.
是啊 队排得太短了
It's over. I can't be seen there.
他家没戏了 我不能被看见去那里进餐
I wouldn't want people to think I was a jackass.
我可不想让人觉得我是混蛋
Uh, look, when -- when I said that,
听着 我刚刚那么说
I really didn't --
真的不是...
Okay, first of all, you were just leaving.
首先 你刚刚都打算离开了
Second of all, maybe permanently.
第二 永远别回来了
Faster.
滚快点
You know what, Gavin?
你知道吗 加文
- I have had enough of -- - No.
-我受够了 -别
What? Why not?
搞什么 为什么不行
It's time I stood up to this guy.
是时候站起来跟他翻脸了
I'm probably gonna get fired,
我可能会被抄
so I might as well get in a couple shots before I lose my dental.
不如趁还有牙医保险 痛痛快快翻脸
No, you were right before.
不 你刚刚说得没错
It's very easy to be like me,
像我这样很容易
to scream first and think later.
不用脑子去想 先吼完再说
But that's not how the world works.
但世界不是这个样子的
Let me go talk to him.
我去跟他谈谈
- No. - Yes.
-不要 -要
I caused all this.
这一切都是我造成的
Anyways, it's good for me every once in a while
不管怎样 时不时
to swallow my pride.
委屈一下自己挺好的
What do you want?
你想怎么样
I just want you to listen to my voice
就想让你听听老娘的声音
and look into my eyes and ask yourself,
看着老娘的眼睛 仔细想想
"Did this woman made it all the way here from colombia
这个尤物一路从哥伦比亚闯到美国
without knowing some very bad men
难道不认识一些狠角儿吗
who would love to do her a favor?"
他们会不会帮她的忙呢
Okay. I don't know what's gonna happen next,
我不知道接下来会发生什么
but it feels so good to apologize.
但道歉的感觉真好
Oh, my god, I still have my job.
天呐 我保住工作了
Oh, that's great! Let's go celebrate.
真棒 我们去庆祝吧
Oh, you know what? I can't.
可惜 我去不了
I have to go spread seeds on his front lawn
我得去他家前院的草坪上撒种子
so he can run through birds when he gets home.
那样他回家时 可以享受从鸟群经过的感觉
I have one more thing that I need to apologize for.
我还得再去道个歉
Call me the periodic table, 'cause I got all the "Metals."
叫我元素周期表 因为我全身都是"金属"[奖牌]
That's nice, honey.
不错啊 宝贝
Luke, how was your day?
卢克 你今天过得怎么样
Well, Luke won the Boniface integrity award,
卢克拿到了邦尼菲斯品格正直奖
whereas I got all --
我可是拿到了
Are you kidding me?
没搞错吧
That is fantastic!
那真是太棒了
I'm so proud of --
我为你骄傲...
The bonerface!
怂人
You win that award, everyone calls you "Bonerface."
得这个奖的人 大家都叫他怂人
It's the super nerd award.
这是书呆子奖里的巅峰
My underwear got pulled over my head by a girl.
一个女同学把我的内裤拉到头上
It always goes to Scott Wheeler,
一直都是斯科特·威勒得这奖的
But someone pushed his car into a handicapped spot
但有人把他的车停到残疾人专用位上了
So I'd get the award.
然后我就拿到了这奖
And I think I know exactly who did it.
我知道这事是谁干的
- Well -- - Manny!
-这个嘛 -就是曼尼
You framed Scott Wheeler so I'd win the bonerface.
你陷害斯科特·威勒 所以我变成了怂人
It adds up.
这得通哦
First, lower your voice. We're not stevedores.
首先声音小点 你又不是装卸工
Second, you're wrong.
第二你错了
Third, it serves you right, anyway,
第三 反正你活该
after you hit on Sarah Fink.
谁让你勾搭莎拉·芬克的
Oh, for god's sake.
得了吧
There are plenty of other girls out there.
天涯何处无妹子
Get over it.
忘了她吧
That cinnamon stick is from SriLlanka!
那是斯里兰卡的肉桂棒
Get off me!
放开我
You smell like a candle.
你身上一股香薰蜡烛味儿
It's lavender bath beads, you son of a bitch!
这是薰衣草味沐浴珠的味道 你这混蛋
And the award for the saddest brawl goes to
那么荣获"最无谓撕逼"奖的是...
Okay, stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
够了 住手 给我住手
I did it! I did it! I got you the Bonerface!
是我做的 是我让你成了怂人
Ugh the Bonifa-- what's it called?
那个邦尼什么奖 叫什么来着
Just get out of here.
都走开吧
- You? - Yes.
-你干的 -是我
Why?
为什么
Because I didn't know it was a nerd award.
因为我不知道这是个给书呆子的奖
I just knew it was an award, and I wanted you to have one.
我知道它是个奖 我想让你得一次
And you were second in line to get it, anyway,
然后你刚好排第二 好吧
so I just, you know...
所以我就 你懂的
Rigged it because you think I'm a loser
暗中耍手段 因为你觉得我是个废柴
who could never win his own award?
靠自己的力量永远都赢不了一个奖
No. No.
不 不是的
I-I just...
我 我只是
Alex has her awards and
因为艾丽克斯得了那么多奖...
Thanks for believing in me.
谢谢你对我这么有信心啊
Joe's gonna be here soon.
乔马上就要过来了
Let's pick up the pace. Window looks good.
我们得快点 窗已经弄好了
Let's raise the roof.
把屋顶盖上去
I don't think it's time to celebrate, Jay.
杰 我觉得还没到完工庆祝的时候
We haven't even put on the roo-- oh.
我们都还没盖屋 噢
Honey.
宝贝
I am so sorry.
真的对不起
You just seemed so upset this morning,
你早上看上去那么沮丧
and I assumed it was about awards day and Alex.
我就以为这是因为得奖日还有艾丽克斯
I don't even care about awards.
我根本不在乎得没得奖
Then why didn't you want to go to school?
那你为什么不愿意去上学
This isn't still about that fight
该不会是因为
that you're having with Manny over Sarah Fink, is it?
你跟曼尼在抢萨拉·芬克吧 是吗
I don't even like Sarah Fink.
我根本就不喜欢萨拉·芬克
I told her to stop calling me.
我都已经叫她不要再打电话给我了
Well, then why does Manny think that you're...
好吧 那为什么曼尼还以为你
You didn't hit on her. She hit on you.
你没有勾搭她 是她勾搭你的
And you're -- you're trying to spare Manny's feelings.
所以你 你是在努力不让曼尼伤心
I am the dumbest person in the world
我真是世界上最笨的笨蛋
to think that you would ever need my help
居然以为你会需要我的帮助
to win an integrity award.
才能获得品格正直奖
I could not be prouder.
我真是太为你骄傲了
Maybe next year, Alex.
明年再说吧 艾丽克斯
Okay. Awning is done.
搞定 遮阳蓬都装好了
Supposed to be a drawbridge.
那本来应该是个吊桥的
Weren't the chains a clue?
难道那些链条都没让你反应过来吗
A lot of criticism
你还有脸喷我
from a guy who just sawe1d half his shoe off.
你刚刚才把自己的鞋子锯掉了一半
Who are we kidding?
开什么玩笑呢
We got a wall on backwards.
我们把门装倒了
I don't even know where that stuff goes.
我连那些东西该怎么装都不知道
It barely looks like a --
看上去都不怎么像...
Castle!
城堡
Joe, wait!
乔 慢点
Hey, buddy.
嘿 小家伙
Hey, it's gonna look even better when it's painted.
嘿 这要是涂好漆了看上去会更漂亮
Ah, the awning's a nice touch.
那遮阳蓬感觉不错
Jay, this castle's supposed to look like so --
杰 这个城堡本来应该更...
Oh, my goodness!
我的天啊
Oh, Joe, look what you did.
乔 看看你做的好事
Do you expect me to believe
你觉得我会相信
that a 2-year-old can destroy a whole house in one second?
一个两岁的小宝宝能瞬间摧毁一座城堡吗
- Oh, wow, yes. - Easy.
-可以的 -淡定
For sure.
绝对可以
Jay, do you want to tell me what really happened?
杰 你要不要告诉我到底发生了什么
No one wins anything
一个人如果要成事
without help from family and friends
就需要家人和朋友的帮助
who steer you away from bad ideas...
指引你丢掉错的想法
Wait, Phil! Phil! Phil!
慢着 菲尔 菲尔
...and toward good ones.
并作出对的选择
I don't know what got into us today.
我不知道我们今天这是怎么了
Oh, with the baby thing?
你说关于宝宝的事情吗
Yes. It's the last thing I need right now.
是的 我现在最不需要的就是个熊孩子了
- It's the last thing any of us need right now. - Yeah.
-我们都不需要了 -对
Because every time anyone accomplishes anything...
因为每个人的成功
- he or she achieves it... - Nice.
-背后都有 -做得不错嘛
...with the help of a thousand silent heroes.
无数个沉默的英雄
the selfless team players who offer their support,
无私的伙伴伸出他们的援手
not to be recognized,
并不是为了被认可
but because it's the right thing to do.
而是因为那是对的事
Awards aren't usually given out
人们并不经常会因为
being a good person, but today...
是个好人而被嘉奖 但是今天
they are.
他们会被嘉奖
Ladies and gentlemen, the winner
女士们 先生们
of the Marlon Boniface integrity award is...
获得"马龙·邦尼菲斯"品格正直奖的是
This is awesome.
真是太棒了
- Luke Dunphy. - No!
-卢克·邓菲 -不要啊
Alex Dunphy.
艾丽克斯·邓菲
Wow, this is a surprise.
哇 这真是个惊喜
Let me tell you about a little girl with a dream.
让我来讲一个关于追梦小女孩的故事
Muchas, muchas gracias.
非常 非常感谢
Where was I?
我刚才说到哪儿了
Awards day...
颁奖日啊
or as Sanjay Patel knows it, passover.
或者像桑杰·帕特尔认为的 是逾越节
All that little girl wanted
那个小女孩想要的
was a calculator and a chance.
不过是台计算器和一个机会