摩登家庭 第六季 Modern Family Season 6 第3集: 感冒 The Cold

上映日期: 2,014

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 贝丝·麦卡锡-米勒

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 诺兰·古德 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 奥布里·


台词
Yes, I am still sick.
是的 我还病着呢
Yes, I'm going to work on a Saturday.
是的 我周六还得上班
No, this is not wine. It is DayQuil.
这不是酒 这是感冒药
With a little bit of last night's wine.
掺了点昨晚的酒
My stupid brother caught a cold
我那蠢弟弟在墨西哥
in Mexico on his honeymoon,
度蜜月时竟然感冒了
and it's made its way through the family.
结果还传染了全家人
I never get sick.
我从不生病
I-I must've caught a chill on the beach
肯定是在沙滩上我的袜子湿了
when my socks got wet.
所以着了凉
My ankles burn.
我的脚踝疼得很
It went to my ears on our flight home.
坐飞机回家时 我的耳朵也开始疼了
I may have moaned a bit.
我可能是呻吟了几声
A crying baby complained about me.
被一个大哭的婴儿投诉说声音太大
Cam brought me this from Mexico,
小卡从墨西哥给我带回了这玩意
along with two weeks of bronchitis.
还害我得了支气管炎 病了两周
I don't know which is worse.
真不知道哪个更糟糕
It gave me the vertigo.
我被传染了眩晕症
I was too dizzy for high heels.
一穿高跟鞋就晕
I had to wear flats.
害我只能穿平底鞋
I don't know how people can walk in those things.
真不知道别人穿着那种鞋是怎么走路的
I missed the first two days of culinary camp,
我错过了烹饪营前两天的课程
so I was hopelessly behind on all reductions and meringues.
完全跟不上做浓缩醋和蛋白饼的进度
You can imagine the nicknames.
试想他们给我起的绰号
I thought "amuse-douche" was particularly cruel.
我觉得"逗逼"这名字挺伤人的
I threw up for three straight days.
我连着吐了三天
I don't know how models do it.
真不知道模特们是怎么做到的
Knock 'em dead at the big meeting today, honey.
祝你今天会议成功 亲爱的
Kiss for good luck?
来个幸运之吻不
Oh, no! I'm not getting you sick.
不行 我不能害你也生病
This cold stops with me.
这场感冒到我为止
Why do you think I swapped beds with Luke last night?
不然我昨晚为什么要跟卢克换床睡
You did?
你换了吗
Appreciate the back rub.
非常感谢你的背部按摩
Not sure I love being called "Miss Thang."
但我可不太喜欢被叫"自以为是小姐"
No!
不是吧
家 庭
摩 登
第六季 第三集
Hey, everybody.
大家好
Hey, dad --
老爸
Noooo.
不是吧
Mitch and Cam were stuck for a wedding videographer,
米奇和小卡当时找不到婚礼摄像师
so I hooked them up with a friend who shoots infomercials.
我就帮他们联系了一个拍专题广告的朋友
He kind of owed me.
算是他欠我的吧
双倍优惠
I can see why you call them "Miracle gloves."
我明白你为什么称之为奇迹手套了
My headache's completely gone.
我的头完全不疼了
头完全不疼了
He dropped off the video
他把录像给了我
for the big viewing party
今晚我们会在杰和歌洛莉亚家
at Jay and Gloria's tonight, and I decided to preview it.
开观影派对 所以我想提前看看
What's wrong?
怎么了
Watch.
你看
I'm gonna keep it short
我就长话短说吧
'cause I got a tee-time in 10 minutes.
因为再过十分钟就要开球了
Oh, God.
天哪
Kind of funny.
说来也巧
My dad died 25 years ago today.
我父亲死于25年前的今天
Ew! Right on the cake.
直接喷在蛋糕上了
I know. Keep watching.
我知道 你接着看
...nice to replace that sad memory
很高兴能用这一快乐时刻
with this happy one.
代替那段伤心的记忆
Don't tell me uncle Mitch drinks it.
别告诉我米奇舅舅还喝了
Of course he does -- every drop.
他当然喝了 一滴不剩
May your first marriage be as goods my second.
愿你的第一次婚姻和我的第二次一样幸福
To the grooms.
敬新郎们
Wait a minute. I take that back.
等等 我收回
To my sons.
敬我的儿子们
Why didn't you just cover your mouth?
你为什么就不能遮住嘴呢
Oh, I finally did.
最后遮住了
You know what this means?
你知道这意味着什么吗
I'm patient zero.
我才是第一个生病的人
What I thought were allergies
我还以为我是过敏
started the cold that brought the whole family down!
却导致了全家人挨个病倒了
No one can ever know about this --
不能让任何人知道这件事
Not after what happened in Yosemite.
尤其是发生约塞米蒂国家公园那件事之后
The pink-eye apocalypse.
粉眼末日
- A mountain chickadee! - Where?
-有只白眉山雀 -在哪儿
Take a look and send it down the line.
每个人轮流看一眼
Where? Where do you see it? I want to see.
在哪儿 你在哪儿看到的 我想看看
Oh, right there! Right there! Right there!
就在那儿 在那儿 那儿呢
It took me a whole year to earn back
我整整花了一年才赢回
the respect and admiration of my family.
家人的尊重和崇拜
Well...
这个嘛
But it's six hours to the screening,
但还有六小时就要放映了
and I have to edit out all those sneezes
我得把打喷嚏的画面都剪掉
without ruining Jay's speech.
还不能毁了杰的演讲
That means special effects,
所以得用上特效
that means overlapping green screen.
还得盖上绿屏
What am I saying?! It's impossible!
我在说什么呢 那是不可能的啊
I'm sorry, dad.
很抱歉 老爸
No, you're right.
不 你做得对
It's time to stop whining like a little girl
不能再像个小姑娘一样发牢骚了
and man up!
要爷们儿点
Let's put on our unitards!
穿上紧身衣
And Manny -- he's been missing a lot of kicks lately.
曼尼 他最近踢丢了很多踢球得分
He could cost us a game.
可能会害我们输掉比赛啊
I may have to bench him.
我可能得把他换下场
A coach has to do what's best for the team.
教练总得做最有利于队伍的安排
Does family loyalty mean nothing to you, Mitchell?
家族忠诚对你来说一点不重要吗
Not to mention I'd be facing the wrath of Jay and Gloria.
更别说我还得面对愤怒的杰和歌洛莉亚
Well, then you should play him.
那你就让他上场
And risk our perfect 3-0 record
冒着牺牲我们3比0的完美战绩吗
in my first year as the varsity football coach,
这可是我当橄榄球队教练的第一年
when this could be a stepping-stone
本可以成为我进入大学工作
to a college job or who knows what else?
获得事业成功的垫脚石呢
You know, it's basically a cinderella story.
灰姑娘一般的故事啊
Well, at least you have the outfit for it.
至少你服装是有了
Are you gonna help me or not?
你到底还要不要帮我了
I'm sorry. Um...okay.
不好意思 好吧
Well, maybe what you could do is --
也许你可以...
You know what I could do... is coach.
我可以...尽教练之责
You know, Manny's just in a slump.
曼尼只是处于低潮期
You know, he's lacking confidence.
他缺乏自信
It's not gonna be easy, but I could pull this off.
这并不容易 但我可以搞定这事
That's what you said about the Cinderella costume,
对于灰姑娘的戏服 你也是这样说的
and two hours later, we were calling the auto club.
两小时后我们就给汽车俱乐部打了电话
We're going in the backyard.
我们要去后院了
To identify insects.
去识别昆虫
Oh, I love that.
我爱死了
I did that.
是我干的
Sydney Barrow -- like my Lily, a gifted child,
希德妮·巴洛 跟我家莉莉一样有天赋
and, thanks to a little matchmaking, her new friend.
多亏了我来做媒 她成了莉莉的新朋友
Yeah, i-it can be challenging
帮一个天才儿童
finding playmates for an exceptional child.
找玩伴 是很有挑战性的
I don't mean to brag,
我无意吹嘘
but that's why I didn't have any friends.
但那就是我儿时没有朋友的原因
Yeah, Alan, I'm sending Claire to meet with you.
艾伦 我让克莱尔去见你
I got my kid's game.
我要去看我儿子的比赛
Yeah, he's the kicker.
是啊 他是踢球的
Could all come down to him.
可能全靠他得分呢
Yeah, take it easy.
放松点
Don't talk like that.
别那样说
Look. You're stressing him out.
瞧 你让他好紧张
You're stressed out?
你紧张吗
A little.
有点
Good! 'Cause stress is all part of football.
很好 因为压力是橄榄球的一部分
If you're not throwing up in your mouth,
如果你没吐在嘴里
you're not doing it right.
那就不对
Ay. Don't pay attention to Jay, papi.
别理杰 宝贝
You're gonna be great.
你会表现出色的
You're my perfect little angel boy.
你是我完美的小天使
There's still a few hours left before game time.
几个小时后比赛才开始
I think I'll just go lie down under my bed for a little while.
我想我还是去床底下躺会儿吧
You see what you do to him?
看见你做的好事了吗
He's fine. Nerves are good.
他没事 紧张挺好的
Just before a playoff game one time,
有次在季后赛前
I pulled out a whole eyebrow.
我拔下了一整条眉毛
Hey, Claire. What's up?
克莱尔 怎么了
My fever, you orange jackass.
我发烧了 你个带病的混蛋
Oh. Okay.
好吧
So, obviously, you have my cold now.
显然你传染上了我的感冒
Everybody's first symptom seems to be hate.
大家的第一症状好像都是憎恨
Just pound the liquids, two days in bed.
多喝点水 在床上躺两天
You're gonna be fine.
你会没事的
I don't have two days.
我可没两天时间
As a matter of fact,
实际上
I have to go to a client meeting right now.
我现在就要去参加客户会议
Why?
为什么
Because I have a job and people are counting on me.
因为我有工作 人们指望着我呢
Oh. No. Someone's counting on you.
不 是有人指望着你吧
This is about you and dad and how you just
这又是你和爸爸的事儿 你总是
love being his toughy-tough little supergirl
喜欢当他的强悍小超女
who never stays home sick,
从来不请病假待在家
won a tennis tournament
手指断了
with a broken finger
都举不起来了
that she couldn't even hold up.
还赢得了网球锦标赛冠军
I'm holding it up now.
我现在就举着中指呢
Daddy's approval is not the medicine that you need.
老爸的肯定是治不好你的
Why don't you just call him and tell him
你何不直接给他打电话 告诉他
that you can't take the meeting,
你没法去开会了
old toughy-tough-super-tough?
超级无敌女汉子姐
Why are you trying to turn this into a fight?
你为什么跟我吵起来了
I called to yell at you for getting me sick.
我打电话来是骂你害我生病的
Love you. Bye.
爱你 拜拜
I love you, too.
我也爱你
Chicken, dog.
鸡 狗
Oh, so close.
就差那么一点
My turn.
该我了
Chicken, chicken.
鸡 鸡
Dog, dog.
狗 狗
Ibex, ibex!
野山羊 野山羊
Oh, look at you go!
瞧你玩得多好
For far too long,
太久以来
Lily's friends just haven't challenged her.
莉莉的朋友们都无法挑战她
It's been this endless procession of paste-eating,
一直以来她的朋友都是吃胶水
toilet-missing shoe-losers.
尿不进马桶 找不到鞋子的傻孩子
But these two together --
但这俩人一起
they raise each other's game.
她们提高了对方的水平
*How I wonder what you are*
*我想知道你是什么*
So good, Lily.
好棒 莉莉
I can play, but I don't really sing.
我会弹 但我不太会唱
That's okay. Everybody can't be good at every--
没关系 没有谁能擅长一切...
Daddy, where's my shoe?
二爸 我的鞋子呢
Okay, Manny, take a deep breath.
曼尼 深呼吸
Picture it going through the uprights.
想象球垂直飞起来
Keep it simple -- eyes on the ball, shoulders up,
简单点 看着球 抬起肩膀
see your foot hit it, drive through the ball.
看见你的脚踢到球 把球踢飞
Finish at your target!
完成目标
Even simpler this time --
这次更简单了
kick the ball with your foot.
用你的脚踢球
Great contact on that last one.
上一次接触得不错
This time, aim for the ball.
这次对准球
Okay, this time, like you mean it.
这次认真点
I'm really sorry.
我真的很抱歉
Okay, Manny, look...
曼尼 听着
There's no easy way to tell you this.
跟你说这话可不容易
Hola, Manny!
好啊 曼尼
But, um... I, uh, really like the way
但我真的很喜欢
you're keeping your uniform clean.
你的队服保持得这么干净
Color-safe bleach, coach.
用颜色保鲜的漂白剂 教练
You'll be fine during the game.
比赛时你会没事的
Kick it like you kicked sugary drinks last summer.
拿出你去年暑假戒掉含糖饮料的势头来
Okay.
So, I saw the practice.
我看见训练的情况了
Not very good.
不怎么好
I'm so glad you saw that, because --
我很高兴你看到了 因为
He's getting all the bad kicks
他是为了在赛前
out of the way before the game!
把所有烂球都踢完了
He's so good! Bravo, Manny!
他太棒了 好酷 曼尼
Go get 'em, coach.
加油 教练
You too.
你也是
Oh, no.
I'd already had Cam's clogged ears,
我已经染上了小卡的耳塞
my dad's bronchitis,
我爸的支气管炎
and then there it was, right on schedule --
下一条症状来得太是时候了
Gloria's vertigo.
歌洛莉亚的眩晕症
Even I have my limits.
我就是铁打的也不行了
Call dad.
打给爸爸
Paul Rudd is an American film and television actor.
保罗·路德是一位美国影视演员
Shut up.
闭嘴
Call... dad!
打给 爸爸
Hey, honey. How you doing?
宝贝女儿 你怎么样了
I'm at the hotel,
我到酒店了
and I'm really fighting this cold.
我真的很努力克服感冒的不适
Well, then, that cold doesn't stand a chance, huh?
感冒这种小病难不倒你
Nothing stops my little supergirl.
我的小女超人是不可战胜的
Yeah.
是的
What's up?
怎么了
Nothing. I just...
没什么 我只是
I wanted you to know that I'm on this, dad.
我想告诉你这件事包在我身上
I never doubted that, honey.
我从来不怀疑这一点
Yeah.
是吗
Where's the lounge?
休息厅在哪
At the far end.
最后面
Perfect.
好的
I remember your junior year,
我还记得你大一的时候
you played so tough through that tournament.
你为了那场锦标赛可是拼了命一样
What was that? Uh.. .field hockey.
什么比赛来着 曲棍球吧
Rugby.
橄榄球
Right, and, uh,
well, you sprained your ankle.
你还把脚踝扭伤了
Could have been a hairline fracture.
差点就成了骨裂
That's even better.
那就更棒了
But it didn't stop you. You rolled right through it.
可你一点事没有 继续紧跟着球跑
Yeah.
I was a pretty proud papa that day.
我那天感觉特别自豪
Okay, stop!
好的 够了
All right. I'm embarrassing her.
好吧 我把她说害羞了
I'll see you tonight, honey.
今晚见 乖女儿
Bye.
再见
Alan.
艾伦
- Hey, Claire. - Hey.
-你好 克莱尔 -你好
- It's been ages. - Yeah.
-好久不见 -就是啊
I hope you're hungry.
你应该饿了吧
I got us a table
我在楼顶的
at the revolving rooftop restaurant.
旋转餐厅订了张桌子
Oh, no.
Claire?
克莱尔
Here I am right before the cake sneeze.
这里刚好是我对着蛋糕打喷嚏之前
It looks like I'm cracking up, right?
看起来像在大笑 对吧
So from here, we'll jump to a green-screen
从这里 我们用绿色背景拍摄一幕
shot of you laughing, too.
你也在大笑的样子
Then I'll take that and drop it into
然后把你剪切到
a pre-existing shot of a table full of people.
一大桌人的图像里面去
Easy!
超简单
And we are laughing.
笑起来吧
Bigger.
再大一点
Like when I do Yoda walking into a spider web.
想象我学尤达走进蜘蛛网的样子
Nailed it!
就是这个
If laughter's the best medicine,
如果大笑是最好的良药
then you're grape-flavored triaminic.
那你就是葡萄味的抗过敏贴
Okay, now I need some footage of me reacting to Jay's speech
接下来要拍摄我听杰演讲时的镜头
to replace the champagne sneeze,
来替换朝香槟打喷嚏这一段
and I'll just drop that into another table full of people.
然后把这段接到另一张一大桌人的图像里
How would I react to Jay's speech?
对于杰的演讲 我应该有什么反应
Give me "Touched."
表现出感动的样子
Now sad.
悲伤
Sadder.
再悲伤点
Come on. Dig deep.
加油 感情再深点
Think about me going off to college.
就想像我要去上大学了
Why are you smiling?
你怎么在笑
Uh, I-I didn't think you'd get in.
我没想到你能考上
I don't want to waste a Saturday night
我不想把一个大好的周六晚上
Watching some video.
浪费在看视频上
Let's just stay home and rent a movie.
我们待在家里租个电影看吧
Okay, two things -- a movie is a video,
两件事 电影也是视频
and the only reason you don't want to go to grandpa's
还有你不想去外公家就是因为
is because you're avoiding Andy.
你害怕见到安迪
Avoid? I don't --
害怕 才不是呢
I --
I'm not having this conversation.
我不想谈这个话题
Oh, please. You've been dodging him since the wedding.
拜托 你从婚礼那天开始就躲着他
You told me to stay away from him.
是你让我离他远一点的
I just meant don't lead him on
我只是说除非你真的喜欢他
unless you really like him.
不然别招惹人家
Yes, and you were right,
对 你说得没错
so I've been keeping my distance to protect him.
所以为了保护他 我一直跟他保持距离
Well, that's actually really mature of you.
你这么想还是挺成熟的
With great hotness comes great responsibility.
我长得这么辣 当然得更负责任一点
There she is.
恢复本性了
8:10
海豚队:客队
If Manny makes this one, we go ahead.
如果曼尼能踢好这球 我们就领先了
Lot of pressure.
压力很大
I'll bet he's chewing on his own stomach acid right now.
我打赌他紧张得胃里泛酸
Sorry to be so sentimental. I just miss it.
有点太多愁善感了 我就是挺怀念的
Manny, kick this one hard!
曼尼 大力踢球
That's my boy!
不愧是我的孩子
Actually, that's our boy.
实际上 是我们家孩子
Oh, that's our boy.
那才是我们家孩子
Moment of truth.
关键时刻
If you see even the tiniest problem, point it out.
看到任何小问题 都请指出来
My dad died 25 years ago today.
我父亲死于25年前的今天
That did not land quite the way I'd hoped.
这跟我想象的场景不太一样
Cam, Mitchell...
小卡 米奇尔
May your first marriage be as happy as my second.
愿你的第一次婚姻和我的第二次一样幸福
To the grooms.
敬新郎们
Wait a minute. I take that back.
等等 我收回
Oh, that's so bad.
这太糟了
To my sons.
敬我的儿子们
Oh. Jay.
O...kay. I have a few notes.
好吧 我有几点建议
What am I gonna do?
我该怎么办
We have to show this thing in an hour!
我们还有一个小时就要放这个视频了
You know what you'd tell me?
你知道换作是你会怎么跟我说吗
Show the real video and take your lumps.
放原来的视频 勇于承担后果
I don't wanna.
我不想那样
That's what I would say.
那是我会说的话
And then you would tell me,
然后你会跟我说
"You might not want to do it,
你也许不想那样做
"but you have to do what's right.
但你必须做正确的事
"And that will make you
那会使你
go from patient zero to patient hero."
从零号病患变为英雄病患
Damn it, I've got a point.
该死 我说得太有道理了
How does someone so smart sneeze on so many things?
这么聪明一个人怎么会打那么多喷嚏呢
Finished!
画完了
Let's see.
来看看
Oh. I'm sorry, but did someone rob an art gallery?
不好意思 这是有人抢劫了画廊吗
Because this is absolutely beau--
因为这简直太美
Done!
画完了
Okay.
好吧
We should probably put your names on those
我们应该在上面写上名字
so we can remember whose is whose.
不然该分不出来谁是谁的了
Next activity.
下一个活动
Okay, Lily knows all the capitals.
莉莉知道所有的首府
Dad!
爸爸
It's all right, honey.
没关系的 宝贝
The first is Albany.
第一个是奥尔巴尼[纽约州首府]
Then there's...?
接下来是
Ohh! I thought you meant world capitals.
我以为你说的是各国的首府
Algeria, Algiers.
阿尔及利亚 阿尔及尔
Angola --
安哥拉
Oh. Well, you're just a little know-it-all, aren't ya?
你还真是爱显摆自己有学问啊
Oh, my god. I am so sorry. I -- oh.
天哪 非常抱歉
Okay. Sydney, forget that I said that, okay, honey?
好了 希德妮 忘记我说的话吧宝贝
I can't! I have a photographic memory!
不行 因为我记忆力超群
You made my friend cry!
你把我的朋友搞哭了
No, I didn't mean to --
不 我不是有意的
Oh, boy.
天哪
You did that on purpose!
你是故意的
No, no. I-I don't think I did.
不 不 我不是
Oh, gosh. And there's your mother.
天哪 你妈妈来了
Sydney, sweetheart, we got to stop crying, okay?
希德妮 宝贝 不能再哭了 好吗
You're okay.
你没事
Oh. Now my watch is caught.
我的表卡住了
All right, little pull. Little pull!
没事 轻轻拉 轻轻拉
It's fine! It's fine!
没事的 没事的
Oh, it's fine. It's fine.
没事的 没事的
- We had so much fun. - Oh, good.
-我们玩得太开心了 -那就好
Sydney, honey, are you crying?
希德妮 宝贝 你在哭吗
He ruined my picture and pulled my hair!
他把我的画毁了 还拉我头发
Just little accidents.
只是个小意外
And he called me a know-it-all!
他还说我爱显摆学问
What kind of a person calls a 6-year-old a know-it-all?
什么样的人会这样说一个六岁的孩子
She's a year younger than you?
她还比你小一岁是吗
Should I not have come?
我是不是不该来
Oh, is it gonna be weird for Andy?
安迪会不会觉得很怪
I shouldn't have dressed so cute.
我不应该穿得这么好看的
Hey, switch sweaters with me.
把毛衣换给我
Just be yourself.
做你自己吧
It's the surest way for him to get over you.
这样他能最快速度忘掉你
Okay, thanks.
好吧 谢谢
- Hey, uncle Cam. - Hey.
-小卡叔叔 -你好
Oh, my gosh. I'm so glad you're here.
我的天 你来了太好了
You got to talk to Lily.
你得和莉莉谈谈
She's not speaking to me because --
她不和我讲话了 因为
I have bigger problems.
我有更大的问题
I haven't even told you what mine is yet.
我还没跟你说我的问题呢
I benched Manny.
我让曼尼坐冷板凳了
I'm worried Jay and Gloria are mad at me.
我担心杰和歌洛莉亚会生我的气
- Have they said anything? - No.
-他们说什么了吗 -没有
All I've gotten from them so far is "Hola"
我只听到他们对我说了"你好"
and "That scotch is not for company."
还有"这瓶威士忌不分享"
Oh, my gosh, Phil, is that the wedding video?
天哪 菲尔 那是婚礼视频吗
Oh, we are so excited to see it.
我们太期待了
I'm so excited to show you guys!
我也很期待给你们看
Get in the media closet. Cut every wire.
快去客厅 把所有电线都剪了
Dad, get ahold of yourself.
爸爸 冷静点
You're right.
你说得对
I said, "You're right"!
我说了"你说得对"
Sorry. I already had it loaded up.
对不起 我手臂已经准备到位了
Everybody come to dinner.
大家都来吃晚饭吧
Then we watch the wedding movie.
然后我们就看婚礼视频
Hey, thank you guys so much for hosting.
谢谢你们的招待
And I hope there's no hard feelings about Manny.
我希望曼尼的事你们不会有什么想法
You're the coach. You can't play favorites.
你是教练 你不能徇私
Exactly.
正是
I am so relieved to hear you say that.
听你这么说我就放心了
No, no, no. One of our chairs is broken.
不 不 我们坏了一把椅子
Come. I have a special seat for you.
来 我为你准备了特殊的位子
Mitchell!
米奇尔
She benched me.
她让我坐冷板凳
No! You beat me again!
不 你又赢了我
Well, this is embarrassing for you.
那你真是太尴尬了
Oh. Hey, stranger.
你好 陌生人
I let him win.
我故意让他赢的
How you been?
你怎么样
Oh, good, good. Just busy.
很好 很好 就是有点忙
I figured I'd say hi. It's been a while.
我想应该打个招呼 毕竟时间挺长了
I know, right?
是啊
I've been busy, too, between this little guy
我也一直在忙着照顾这个小家伙
and visiting my family back home.
还要回去探望家人
I'm -- I'm really glad you came by.
我 我真的很高兴你能过来
I was afraid things got, like...weird
之前还担心我们之间会比较尴尬
last time we saw each other.
鉴于上次碰面时候的事
Y-yeah, about that -- um, I rea--
是啊 那件事 我真的...
Oh! I knew it.
我就知道
I am such a goober sometimes.
有时候我就是个大蠢蛋
I was just confused about Beth,
贝丝让我手足无措
and I thought you were sending me some signals,
我以为你在向我传达某种信号
which is so stupid.
这样想真是太傻了
I hope I didn't, like, creep you out or something.
希望我的举动没有吓到你
You shouldn't feel stupid.
你不该这样想自己
You know, you were vulnerable, I was at a wedding,
你当时很脆弱 而我在婚礼上
everybody was super-gay,
所有人都是基佬
and nobody was looking at me.
根本没有人看我一眼
I probably did send you a signal.
也许我确实向你传达了某种信号
I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea.
对你造成的困惑我表示歉意
Don't worry about it.
不用介意
I'm just glad we didn't take it any further.
很高兴我们没做出更进一步的举动
Because clearly, we are wrong for each other.
很明显 我们两个实在不配
Totally. We are way better as friends.
完全同意 我们还是做朋友比较好
Way!
没错
Like, imagine if we kissed or something.
难以想象我们亲吻会怎么样
Ha! That would've been a disaster.
那一定会是场灾难
A huge disaster.
一场大灾难
You would've been destroyed.
你会被摧毁的
Yeah -- what?
是啊 什么
Whoa, Joe. What's with the snow on the roof?
乔 你头发怎么都白了
You're aging like a president.
你看起来老得像个总统
Claire texted to start.
克莱尔发信息让我们先吃
She's going to be a little late.
她会晚些过来
Well, that's crazy.
真抓狂
We should wait for her
我们应该等她一起
and watch the wedding video some other time.
不如改天再看婚礼录像吧
No, no, no. Let's eat.
不用 我们开吃吧
I'm not very hungry.
我不怎么饿
I still have the taste of failure in my mouth.
我嘴里依然残留着失败的味道
Sit down. This is a family dinner.
坐下 这是家庭聚餐
We all eat together.
我们要一起吃
Are there potatoes? I smell potatoes.
你们那有土豆吗 我闻到土豆的味道了
Here you go, sweetheart.
给你的 宝贝儿
You eat it.
我不吃
Lily, it wasn't that bad.
莉莉 没那么糟
You still got my friend's hair in your watch!
你手表上还夹着我朋友的头发呢
She's coming back.
她会回来的
What were you thinking with that playdate?
你脑子进水了吗
I was feeling protective.
我是出于对孩子的保护
That girl made Lily feel bad.
那孩子让莉莉很难堪
Or did she make you feel bad?
也许是让你很难堪吧
I didn't love it.
我的确不喜欢
That happens with all first-time parents.
新手父母通常都会这样的
We think our kids are the best or the smartest.
总认为自己的孩子是最聪明的
For the longest time, that's how we felt about Haley.
曾经很长时间 我们也那样看待海莉
"The longest time"? Really?
"很长时间" 真的吗
You can't force your kids
你不能迫使孩子
to live up to your unreal expectations.
一直活在你不切实际的期待当中
They're not perfect, but you love them anyway.
他们并不完美 但你依然爱他们
Also applies to adults -- probably more so.
对大人一样适用 也许更应该如此
That is what I'm doing, isn't it?
我就是这样的 是不是
Jay does it all the time with Manny's football.
杰在曼尼踢球这件事上一贯如此
Look at him -- he's so upset of disappointing him
你们看他 因为担心让杰失望
that he won't eat today.
今天连饭都不想吃了
Let's keep in mind what's important here --
我们不要跑题好不好
We're mad at Cam.
我们在生小卡的气
You have always been like this.
你一向如此
You put so much pressure into your kids
你给儿女们太大压力
that they fall into pieces.
最后导致他们崩溃
I never put more pressure on my kids than they can handle.
我从没给过他们无法承受的压力
Oh, don't be mad, dad.
别生气 爸
I'm sorry. I tried. I really -- I tried.
对不起 我尽力了 真的尽力了
Knock, knock. Me again.
咚咚咚 又是我
Hey, you.
好啊
Hey. So, uh, quick follow-up.
让我快速跟进一下
Um, when you said I would be destroyed if we had kissed,
你刚才说如果我们亲吻我会被摧毁
what exactly did you mean by that?
那到底是什么意思
Oh, gosh.
天哪
I guess that is confusing, huh?
让你很困惑是吧
Yeah.
是的
I just meant that you would've been emotionally ruined.
我的意思是你会被我迷得神魂颠倒
What?!
什么
Yeah. I don't understand it myself,
是的 我也不明白自己怎么会这样
but there's a lot of heat coming off of this.
但我就是有这种魅力
Girls do not get over this guy.
女孩都无法抗拒我这样的男孩
I'm not calling myself a drug, but --
不敢说自己是毒品 不过
I'm sorry. Hasn't Beth broken up with you, like, 10 times?
不好意思 贝丝不是甩了你十几次吗
She's dying to get back with me, though.
可她依然迫切地想跟我复合
I wouldn't say it's withdrawal, but --
可能就跟戒毒的感觉差不多
For the record, guys don't get over me, okay?
告诉你吧 我才是让男孩念念不忘的
At last count, I have three stalkers.
最新数据 我有三个追求者
One of them has my face spray-painted on his van.
其中一个甚至把我的样子喷刷在他的车上
I had to stand there forever while he did it!
他画的时候我就得一直杵在那
Okay.
好吧
I didn't mean to imply that if we kissed,
我的意思并不是如果我们亲吻
it wouldn't affect me.
我就不会迷上你
Are you kidding?
你开什么玩笑
You are so pretty and so out of my league.
你那么漂亮 我根本配不上你
It would've... rocked my world.
那会颠覆我的整个世界
Okay, then.
那好吧
It just would've hit you harder. That's all.
只是会更让你疯狂 就是这样
Mr. Pritchett! Your bath awaits!
普里契特先生 你该洗澡了
Are you prepared for a bum-scrubbing today, sir?
今天要搓搓小屁股 准备好了吗
Ohhh, no.
哦不
I said something wrong, didn't I?
我说错话了 是不是
No.
没有
No, I'm just being stupid.
不 是我在犯傻
The point is is that, you know, we're good, right?
重点是 我们的关系未受影响 对吧
You betcha.
那当然了
Aw, come on. Don't be so formal.
来吧 别这么一本正经的
Come here, you.
来吧 小子
I promised this little dude a bubble beard.
我答应要带这个小家伙去洗泡泡浴的
Come here.
来抱抱
Don't be a stranger, okay?
别就此成了陌生人 好吗
Honey, be a little selfish here.
亲爱的 稍微自私一点吧
You are not up for watching this video.
你现在的健康状况完全看不了这视频啊
Why were you even out of the house like this?
你都这样了为什么还要出门啊
Because I'm your toughy-tough supergirl.
因为我是个强悍的女汉子
Yes, you are, but that's no reason to risk you--
是没错 但也没必要因此拿...
Away from the food!
离食物远一点
Can we catch this again?
我们能下次再举行吗
This is exactly what you do!
你就是经常做这种事
To his own daughter.
对他的亲生女儿也如此
Kind of puts me benching Manny in perspective.
所以你们要正确看待我让曼尼坐冷板凳这事
Also, is there a sauce going around or...
对了 你们那边有酱汁吗...
Cam, you were right to bench me.
小卡 你让我坐冷板凳是对的
I stunk out there.
我踢得太烂了
Vindicated!
沉冤洗清了
But not because of Jay.
但那不是因为杰
It's you, mom.
是因为你 妈
What?!
什么
Tensions are running high.
现场火药味儿太浓
I think we should all go home.
我觉得我们都该回家避难
I've never worried about disappointing Jay.
我从来不会担心让杰失望
He knows I'm terrible at sports.
他知道我体育很差劲
Said it from day 1.
我第一天就说了
Only thing coordinated about this kid was his outfits.
这孩子身上唯一协调的部分就是他的衣服
The way you call me your perfect little angel boy and stuff,
你老叫我完美的小天使什么的
I just feel like I'm letting you down.
我总觉得我会让你失望
Ay, Manny, I'm so sorry.
曼尼 我真的很抱歉
You could never let me down,
你永远不会让我失望的
because you're my per--
因为你是我的完美...
You're okay.
你挺好的
I cued up the wedding video.
我把婚礼视频插进播放机了
All by yourself?
是你独立完成的吗
Let's watch it. What do you say?
我们一起去看吧 你们觉得怎么样
- Okay. - Let's go.
-好啊 -我们走
I'm nervous.
我好紧张
- Is this- is this a good time? - Yes.
-现在这种时候合适吗 -当然
It feels like -- o-okay.
感觉...那好吧
Let's go now. Come on.
我们现在就去看吧 快点
F-full disclosure --
我先坦白交代
Everybody may not look their best in this video.
视频中的大家可能看上去并不是太好
It's good.
好得很
It's about time we all start seeing ourselves as who we really are,
我们就该看清真实的自我
not who we're trying to be
而不是我们努力想成为的那种人
- or who other people want us to be. - Right.
-或别人期待我们成为的那种人 -对
See, now, that is a very complicated machine.
我想说下 那是台非常复杂的机器
She is a genius.
她是个小天才
Not a good start.
你这头开的就不对
Hit it, Lily.
放吧 莉莉
This is gonna be good for you.
这会对你有好处的
I don't like you right now.
我这会儿可不喜欢你
米奇&小卡结婚庆典
Oh, god.
天啊
Is that -is that my dancing?
那是 那是我在跳舞吗
Is that what I look like?
我竟然是那个样子的吗
No, no. Okay, that's really funny.
别 好吧 那可真搞笑啊
Fast forward. Come on.
快进 快点
That's actually really sweet, Cam.
那真的好甜蜜 小卡
Is that my crying face?
那是我的哭泣脸吗
Oh, it's hideous! Why hasn't anyone told me?!
真的好丑啊 怎么从来没人告诉过我啊
Oh, god, I'm doing it right now, aren't I?
天啊 我现在又是这副表情了 对吧
Give me that.
把遥控器给我
Congratulations, Mitch and Cam!
恭喜啊 米奇和小卡
Look at me in that dress!
瞧瞧我穿那条裙子的样子
I look gorgeous!
我看上去美翻了
Give me rewind!
我要倒回去再看一遍
Mom, look at you holding on to that bar.
妈 瞧瞧你倚靠着那个吧台的样子
You had vertigo there, too.
你那时候也患了眩晕症呢
Yeah, I sure did.
是啊 没错
You know, we don't have to linger on that.
我们没必要老看这一段的
Oh, mom!
哎呀妈
Hey, everybody. I want to say something.
大家好 我有几句话想说
All that sweat. What the hell?!
一身汗 搞毛啊
I look like I had shamu in a headlock!
我看上去像是刚跟鲸鱼紧密搂抱过
I think I'm gonna throw up.
我觉得我要吐了
Yeah, you and me both. I'm disgusting!
是啊 我也是 我太令人恶心了
No, no, no, no, no. It's Haley's nausea. Oh, god!
不不不 是海莉的恶心病 天啊
I'm gonna keep it short.
我就长话短说吧
Yeah, you will.
是啊 务必这样
120 people in that room,
那个屋子里有120位宾客
and no one told me to put my arm down!
却没人提醒我要把胳膊放下来
I have an idea, actually.
我有个好主意
Why don't I re-edit the video
不如让我重新剪辑这个视频
And cut out the embarrassing parts?
把那些尴尬的部分都剪掉吧
Is that a problem?
那麻烦吗
Not at all!
一点都不麻烦
- That's great! - Done!
-那太好了 -轻松搞定
Thank you so much.
太谢谢你了
I know you sneezed on the cake.
我知道你对着蛋糕打喷嚏了
No one likes a know-it-all!
没人喜欢无所不知的小孩
Mitchell.
米奇尔
Come to bed.
快上床来啊
Aren't you ever gonna sleep?
你不打算睡觉了吗
No. No, I don't think I'am.
不 我觉得我睡不着了
Mitchell.
米奇尔