Better than look from outside.
Drop the cool girl acts. It's perfect.
So, it turns out our house has mold --
Which is not a reflection on this excellent homemaker.
Anyway, we have to vacate the house
while it's being treated.
I got us the last room at a hotel nearby.
I was a little concerned about
the five of us sharing a room.
But for one night? I don't know, could be fun.
- Watch it! - Look out!
Haley, I need the wi-fi corner. Get down.
海莉 我需要有无线网的角落 下来
Ugh, I need instagram
to know there's still beauty in the world!
Luke, you'll set off the dogs!
Look what I got from the vending machine
in the lobby -- a Charleston Chew.
Can someone please tell the Nigerian family
to shut their dogs up?!
Check it out! According to this wrapper,
we can win tickets to the 2005 all-star game!
I think I'm most excited about the night.
- It's gonna be like camping. - Yeah.
Okay, does anybody else need to use the bathroom?
Great. Oh, finally.
I forgot my night guard.
What am I thinking? This isn't my book.
Great -- now that we talked about it,
I need to use the bathroom again.
What is the point of a last call...
if you guys are just gonna do whatever -
Someone else sleep in the tub tonight. Like Haley.
Okay, now that we're all here, can we just --
好了 大家都躺下了 能不能
It's that stupid train.
It's gonna wake up those stupid dogs.
They're gonna start their stupid barking and --
They didn't hear it.
Quiet, everybody. No "Good nights."
安静 所有人 不要说晚安了
Son of a gun. Ray Chapman just died.
He used to give me the best bonings.
You're thinking of our butcher -- Ray Eastman.
No, Chapman was a navy buddy.
I always meant to write to him.
Oh, Jay, that's so sad.
It's like they say -- you cannot put these things off.
Thanks god Manny's here.
I always get so nervous
when he goes out with that older boy, Sam.
I guess I could try texting the widow.
They always stay in the driveway like that.
What are they doing?
Gloria, can't you do it?
No, I can't do it because you know
that he always say that I am nosey.
And Manny's been acting very suspicious lately
I think that that older boy's a bad influence on him.
Looks like he's driving a Mustang.
Pretty sweet one, too.
- What the hell? - What?
That gives a bigger reaction?
Manny has a girlfriend, and he has not told me?
and let's not ambush him with a bunch of questions.
No. He's probably gonna want to play this pretty cool.
How was your night?
Oh, you know, just teens being teens.
Anyway, big game tomorrow. Night.
不管怎样 明天有大比赛 晚安
Manny's first girlfriend is a senior with a Mustang.
I'd have put my money on a sophomore with a mustache.
You've been sawing
at that chicken fried steak for 10 minutes.
Just order something else.
Mitchell, it's game day.
I can't. It's my lucky meal.
Oh, God. Here we go.
Well, that's attractive.
You look like a puppy with a slipper.
Under my leadership, the varsity football team
is now 5-0 -- new school record, very exciting.
Cam, I can smell your hat from over here.
Can I please just pop it in the laundry?
And wash the luck off? I've worn it to every game.
See, he knows nothing about sports.
That's why I've given him a pass.
He doesn't have to go to games.
Although -- I-I do -- I hear it's fun.
但是 我会去的 听说很精彩
Three hours on a splintery plank
with parents squealing with delight
as their children maim each other.
He'd know if he came. The seats are aluminum now.
Some pie on the house, coach.
Oh, and that couple over there picked up your tab.
At least I'm getting some perks out of all this craziness
and -- nope, they just covered your part.
Lot of pool out there.
How about some Marco Polo?
Just like the old days, huh?
Bunch of complainers out here, huh?
Honey, I'm gonna go for a run,
- and then maybe after we go for a swim. - Okay.
It's a body spray called Sex Grenade.
One of the divorced dads in the hotel recommended it.
That smell is driving me crazy.
Then it's working.
What the hell? It's stuck.
There's nowhere else to go!
There's an actual maid service at this hotel?!
I'm gonna toss this.
When something like that happens,
it makes you think, huh?
- Luke! - Seriously?!
I mean, what am I doing?
I am totally at the wrong room.
- Are you? - I'm sorry, Phil.
-真的吗 -对不起 菲尔
It's not what it looks like.
Rumpled bed, wine...
You've been sleeping by yourself.
I am so sorry. I just couldn't take it anymore,
and I needed a place where -- What is that smell?
Family meeting in the living room.
- Aren't we already in -- - In the living room!
There's no easy way to say this.
Your mother's leaving us.
She's found another room that makes her happy.
It's not your fault.
Okay, look, I needed a little space,
and there was a room that opened up down the hall --
Then one thing led to another.
Spare us, Claire.
So, wait. Mom's staying in that other room?
You can visit her on the weekends.
Aren't we here for just one more day?
I knew you'd be the one to lash out.
If Mom is staying in an empty room,
why can't some of us stay with her?
You happy, Claire?
You're breaking up the family.
No, guys, your father is right.
不 孩子们 爸爸说得对
I should go back to my room
and just think about what I've done.
Come on. We hate it here.
I cannot look at that red hair
in the shower drain one more second.
Look around here, people. None of us have red hair.
Okay, one of you has to go with your mom,
so we'll do this the democratic way.
Whoever pulls the short crust --
- Come on, Dad. - No, I don't want to do that.
-别呀 老爸 -我不想抽签
You all want to go, then go.
Turn your back on your father,
- the empty apologies and the crocodile... -Okay.
- Finally. - tears.
I call "No bathtub."
Another good-luck gift basket, Daddy.
Oh, they just let 7-year-olds sign for these. Okay.
Let's see what we've got here.
What do they send if they
"Go coach, go Dolphins!"
I don't know. It seems a little "Go" heavy.
What is wrong with people?
Okay, I got to skedaddle.
I'll see you guys after the big game.
- And we're waiting because... - Forgot my keys.
-这还没完 因为 -忘拿钥匙了
Yes, you did. Right over there.
- Every time. - Yes, every time.
-每次都要这样 -是的 每一次
I forgot them on the day of our first win,
and it's worked ever since.
Now scooch to the left.
I'm not letting you do the coffee-table thing again.
Mitchell, superstitions are a big part of sports.
And witchcraft and cults and voodoo, but --
Hey, look, you know what?
I'm not asking you to like football,
but I like football.
Football was everything to me growing up.
I was just a big, gay farm kid
until I joined the football team and I finally fit in.
Now, I don't expect you to like it.
I don't expect you to come to the games.
But I do expect you to be 5% less condescending.
It's too much -- the car keys, the coffee table,
太过头了 车钥匙 咖啡桌
your roller skate on the front porch.
I-is there any chocolate in any of these?
You'll have to scrape it off this sun-dried tomato.
I suppose on some level,
it's possible that he might have a point.
I hate sports. I do.
But if you had my dad and my upbringing...
I mean, have you ever been picked last for a team, Lily?
Well, at gym the other day, these mean girls --
I mean, you have no idea, Lily, the bullying and the teasing.
They put me in the ball bag.
If I am a little dismissive,
it's only because of my harrowing backstory.
They said if I told, they would kill you and daddy.
I've -- I've been making this all about myself.
I haven't even been thinking about Cam.
Yes, this is crazy.
Who cares if I like football?
Daddy likes football,
and I like daddy, so -- I need to tell him.
我爱大爸 所以 我要告诉他
I need to tell him I'm gonna be more supportive,
and I need to -- oh, honey, are you calling him for me?
还要 亲爱的 你在帮我打给他吗
Yes, I have a complaint.
Can I please talk to Harry or David?
I believe you're referring to my bold new scent --
Is that for Sam, your friend that is a girl,
but has the name of a boy?
I knew you were spying on me last night.
Yes, I have a girlfriend.
Let me save you some snooping.
She's smart. She's pretty. She's a senior.
她聪明 漂亮 读高三
She's our high school's "It" Girl,
and "It" Dumped the captain of the basketball team for me.
So, you're only 15, and you go out with the senior.
Are you sure you want to play that game?
Mom, you're butting in.
I just want to meet her.
Promise me you'll stay out of this until I'm ready.
That's as close as you're gonna get to a "Yes."
Okay, I got to go get ready.
Sam's gonna pick me up for a bite before the game.
Jay, I don't like this.
Eh, it's not my favorite exit of his,
but it beats the dramatic stage bow.
No, that girl is too advanced for him.
I don't want her to force him
to do anything that he doesn't want to.
I think he'll be okay with whatever she wants to do.
Okay, you go because I cannot butt in.
Maybe you can talk to her.
Maybe you can put the fear of God into her!
What, bust her windshield?
I go disconnect the security camera.
You know, Manny's not really used to...
And I don't know what your intentions are
with this Mustang, but, um,
I suggest you take things nice and slow.
Um, sounds like you really want me to drive slow.
No, uh, what I think I'm saying is,
hands can do things.
Young people have urges, which is only natural.
I mean, the point is, you're 18.
And I have my eye on you.
Jay, what are you doing?
And with 4 minutes left in the second quarter...
...that's Dolphins -- 27...
...Badgers -- nothing.
All right! What a game!
Our guys were playing like
they come from a much poorer neighborhood.
You don't think it's funny
that we haven't seen that girl, Sam,
the one named for a boy?
I mean, it's a big game.
If she was really his girlfriend, she --
Gloria, be realistic.
her standing in the first row
with a sign saying "Go, Manny"?
- I'm just saying that... - 'Cause that's what she's doing.
She made that sign for him?
I told you, she's a great girl.
And look -- she used glitter,
Jay, I think that she really likes him. Look.
杰 我觉得她真的很喜欢曼尼 看
She looks at him the same way that I look at him.
And in her case, healthy.
We're really giving our fans
their money's worth tonight, boys.
He's at the 30, at the 20,
the 10, and he's in for a touchdown.
10码 入禁区了 触地得分
- Badgers score. - What?!
We haven't let anyone run back a kick all year.
What's going on, coach?
All of a sudden, everyone's just off.
At least Mitchell finally made it to a game.
They got two players hurting us.
It's not that much to keep track of!
I couldn't tell Manny because it would kill him,
and I couldn't tell Gloria
because she would kill me.
Hell of a way to ruin a nice hot dog.
End of the third quarter, and we're all tied up.
Okay, hey, everybody, grab a cup of water.
Maybe you could hold on to those, huh?
How exciting is this, huh?
Oh, you dropped your little clipboard.
I thought you had a work dinner tonight.
I did, but I blew them off.
I'd rather be here supporting the team.
You better go, Dolphins!
Yeah, love that, but, you know, the game's almost over.
是啊 真好 不过比赛快结束了
You might want to beat traffic, so...
I thought you'd be happy that I was here.
Why do I feel like you're trying to get rid of me?
I have no idea. It's not because you're a jinx.
A jinx? Do you think I'm a jinx?
No! No, no, no, no, no.
This all can't be on you.
I'm hearing a lot of things
that sound like the opposite of what you're --
Hey, coach! We need a play.
And Malcolm just got stung by a bee.
I got to go. A bee?!
Okay, get some baking soda.
Hey, do you guys know where the bar is?
You're here, my friend.
What are you in the mood for?
Well, I'd like my wife and kids back,
but I'd take a chardonnay.
Ah, I thought you had that look about you.
I'm Lester. This is Carl.
- Hey, Carl. - Hey.
-你好 卡尔 -你好
I know it hurts now, but, uh,
being a man-about-town,
on your own, has its perks.
Ah. So, who left who?
She said she needed some space,
got her own place, and took the kids.
Chin up, my friend.
Carl, could you swipe me?
Nacho machine ate my card.
Hey, Ayoola. This is my neighbor here.
你好 阿尤拉 这是我的邻居
- Pool? - Oh, no, thanks.
-去泳池吗 -不去了 谢谢
- I don't think I'd be much fun right now. - Okay.
you get an offer like that, you got to jump on it,
even if it's just a one-time thing.
I don't know -- she's nice, her kids seem great,
我不知道 她人不错 孩子也挺可爱
but I don't even speak her language.
Who said anything about speaking?
I think you guys have got the wrong idea.
My wife's getting back tomorrow.
Oh, of course she is, champ.
Uh, I'm just saying, life is short,
and why deny yourself a little innocent fun?
Your wife certainly hasn't.
I'm not sure I'm up for it.
Okay, but don't wait too long to start living life, Phil.
好吧 但不要让好生活等太久 菲尔
You know when you don't think about
who was in there before you,
a hotel bath can be really quite relaxing.
Do you know if Alex got my text?
Your swipe-card wine.
Hey, so, I was talking
to those sad guys that are in the lobby,
and they said the hotel's been half-empty all week.
Be positive for once in your life.
Okay, not quite the point I was making.
I want to hear your point, but right now,
this magic juice is gonna help mama
turn that bathtub into a swim-up bar.
I'm just saying we could have been
- in two hotel rooms this entire time. - Okay.
So, dad put us through hell for nothing?
Do you guys hear that?
The sound of my hero falling off his pedestal?
The sound of your hero
playing with the Nigerians in the pool.
Okay, so, when I say "Marco" --
- Hi, Marco. - No, no, I'm Phil.
-你好 马可 -不不 我是菲尔
I'm gonna say "Marco" and then --
Let's take it from the top.
I'm gonna close my eyes.
No, no, not -- not you, Ayoola.
不不不 不是你 阿尤拉
You keep your eyes open.
- Can you open... - Marco!
No, uh, Iyapo, can you stay in the pool?
不 易亚卜 不要离开泳池
- That way, when I say "Marco" - Hi, Marco.
He has a room to himself, and that's what he's doing?
How surprised should we be?
I mean, he's basically a hyperactive toddler
that just wants to play all the time.
Although it's really more about
wanting to spend time with us.
It's kind of all dad ever wants.
He's, like, obsessed with us.
Do you think he lied about the hotel being booked
just so we'd all have to spend time together?
And we totally ditched him.
Even after he jumped on that sex grenade for us.
Butterfingers. I spilled my wine in the tub.
Would you mind, sweetie?
Only 6 seconds left.
The dolphins still down by 3.
40 short yards, 6 long seconds.
On three, "Go, dolphins."
Two, three go, dolphins!
二三 加油 海豚
All right, Manny, this is a real hail mary.
好了 曼尼 只求上天保佑了
Win or lose, I still have a hot girlfriend.
Dolphins come to the line.
Tommy Park back to pass.
- He looks downfield. - Hit it.
- Hit it! Hit it! - He's got a receiver.
We won! Mitchell, we won!
我们赢了 米奇尔 我们赢了
- Hello? - Mitchell, we won!
-喂 -米奇尔 我们赢了
And I looked back, and you weren't there!
Please don't be mad at me.
I'm on the fence.
I feel stupid for making you think this was all your fault.
No! I'm on the fence.
I was trying to leave,
and then I got stuck on this fence With --
my -- my pant leg is --
What were you thinking?
We both know you're not a good climber.
There's a parking lot right over there.
I'm parked over here.
Sit right -- sit right -- sit right there.
- Okay, okay, put me down. - Two, three.
-好了 放我下来 -二 三
You don't have to throw me.
Look, I -- I get why you don't want me here.
I-I know there's no such thing as bad luck,
But there -- there is bad energy,
And I bring a lot of that to your whole sports world.
And that's -- that's because of my own history with it
and you deserve better.
I couldn't do better. You know what?
Why can't we look at sports like one of those friends
that one of us likes and the other doesn't?
Sports can be like your mom.
You know, actually, I-I didn't hate this.
- Oh, shut up. - No, I didn't.
-少来了 -不 我不讨厌
I-I was kind of getting into the whole football culture.
There is an elegance that this has --
No! This is vicuna!
Great game, champ.
Yeah, just a little tired.
It was a big day. Good night.
Your team just won six straight.
Let's celebrate with a little scotch.
You're old enough for your first sip.
She dumped me, Jay.
Okay, we're gonna do this.
She was just using me to make her old boyfriend jealous.
Now they're back together.
Don't tell mom, okay?
I had a sense she didn't like Sam.
Really? She didn't say anything.
My first girlfriend.
Eh, a little wide in the can.
- Jay. - I'm sorry. Just...
You ask me, you're lucky.
She dumped me by text
while making out with her old boyfriend.
I broke down crying. My charcoal ran like mascara.
I had to be comforted by the other team's mascot.
- Lucky? - Think about it.
How many guys your age would kill
to be used by a girl like Sam?
I was a body, Jay.
Come on. If she had picked an average guy,
that boyfriend never would have got jealous.
She had to pick a guy on his level.
Oh, I'm not gonna lie to you.
It sucks, and sometimes
it's got to suck for a while.
I just wish I could say some magic words
or give you a hug -- make it all go away.
Can I still have a sip of that scotch like you said?
Okay, I just opened a bottle,
A beautiful 18-year-old,
Polo! Polo! Polo!
波罗 波罗 波罗
Who rings the bell in the middle of the night?
It is the creepiest thing.
I'm sure it's just, I don't know,
Some guy's car broke down and he wants to use our phone.
Have you ever seen a movie?
Okay, do you remember how sad I was
when you guys left the hotel room?
Phil, what is on the other side of that door?
- Hi, Marco. - Hey, guys.
-你好 马可 -各位好
It's possible they misunderstood me
when I said, "You guys should stop by."
Yeah, "You guys should stop by."