摩登家庭 第六季 Modern Family Season 6 第9集: Strangers in the Night

上映日期: 2,014

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 贝丝·麦卡锡-米勒

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 诺兰·古德 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 奥布里·


台词
Look what someone left in our mailbox -- again.
看我又在邮箱里发现了什么
Wait, that's like our fifth one, isn't it?
等等 这是第五朵了吧
It's getting kind of creepy.
越来越恐怖了
Oh, relax -- it's probably just from Victor,
放松啦 可能是维克托放的
that flower-delivery guy I dated.
就是以前跟我约会的送花小哥
Who's Victor? We never heard about him.
谁是维克托 我们从没听过他
Oh, because I knew
因为我知道你们不会
you'd never let me go out with an ex-con.
让我跟一个有前科的家伙出去的
Hey, maybe it's Dylan trying to win you back.
也许是迪兰想赢回你的心所以送来的
So, Victor -- it's a closed door?
那么维克托 彻底不可能了吗
Maybe it's not a guy who's in love with Haley.
可能并不是喜欢海莉的人
Oh, thank you.
谢谢
Maybe it's a guy who's obsessed with Haley
可能是某个迷恋海莉的家伙
and is getting plastic surgery to look like her
于是打算做整形手术 变成她的样子
so he can replace her and live her life.
这样就可以取代她 过她的生活
Luke.
卢克
So they can only be for Haley?
就只能是给海莉的吗
Of course not.
当然不是
Haley isn't the only hottie living here.
这里又不是只有海莉一个尤物
I washed the car in my cheer shorts the other day.
我前几天穿着我的运动短裤洗车
I definitely felt eyes on me.
明显感觉到有人在看我
Has it ever occurred to you that those flowers could be for me?
你们就没想过那些花可能是给我的吗
What do you mean?
什么意思
I mean, like, from my boyfriend.
我的意思是 也许是我男朋友送的
What?
什么
You have a boyfriend?
你有男朋友了
And you thought my thing was crazy.
你们居然还觉得我的想法不可思议
家 庭
摩 登
第六季 第九集
Alex, you have a boyfriend?
艾丽克斯 你有男朋友了
You can't just drop that and ave.
你别就这么撂下一句话就走了啊
Honey, it is so exciting.
亲爱的 太惊喜了
Why didn't you tell us?
你为什么没告诉我们
Because I knew you'd get all weird
因为我知道你们会觉得很诡异
and ask a million stupid questions.
然后问一堆蠢问题
What does he look like? How did you meet him?
他长什么样 你怎么认识他的
Okay, I'll show you a photo.
我给你们看照片
Well, I would, but now my phone's not working.
我是想给你们看 但我手机坏了
Oh, here he is.
对了 这里有他
In the supermarket flyer?
超市宣传单上嘛
That's him pondering the pork chops?
就是提着猪排的那个人吗
What's to ponder?
有什么好考虑的
They're $4.59 a pound.
一磅4.59美元[ponder也有考虑之意]
I don't understand. Why is he in this?
我不明白 他怎么在这里头
He's a model, mom.
他是模特 老妈
Oh, wait, wait. Your boyfriend's a model?
等等 你男友是模特
Well, how did you meet him?
你怎么认识他的
There's not much crossover
全国优秀学生
for a national honor society student and a pork model.
跟猪排模特能有多少交集啊
Well, actually, it's a really long story. I...
实际上 说来话长 我
Oh, well -- it's him.
是他的电话
Hey, hold on.
等等
This is terrific news.
真是太好了
I can't believe she didn't tell us about him.
不敢相信她居然没跟我们说男朋友的事
Oh, that's what you can't believe?
你不敢相信的就是这个吗
What do you mean?
你什么意思
Phil, it is a little weird.
菲尔 真有点怪怪的
I mean, suddenly she has this boyfriend.
突然之间 她就有了个男朋友
She wants to show us a picture on her phone,
她想给我们看手机里的照片
but she can't,
但是又没办法
and magically he's in today's paper?
然后他又神奇般地出现在了今天的报纸里
I don't even want to say it. Haley.
我都不想说了 海莉
She's making it up.
她肯定是编的
Why would she do that?
她为什么这么做
Maybe she's upset
可能我们都不相信
that none of us thought those roses could be for her.
那些玫瑰是给她的 让她很伤心
Oh, and remember
还记得她有一次
when she couldn't get a date for homecoming?
找不到舞伴参加返校节吗
She said she didn't care,
她说她不在乎
but I caught her crying in her room.
但我撞见她在她屋里哭来着
Oh, honey, what did you say to her?
亲爱的 你怎么劝的她
Oh, I-I was super late, so I didn't really...
那天我要迟到了 我也就没...
This is sad.
太可悲了
Alex has great news
艾丽克斯有了天大的喜事
and her own mother and sister don't believe her?
但她的母亲和姐姐居然不相信她
I want to.
我也想信她
Well, I do believe her.
我真的相信她
I'm gonna tell her to invite this boyfriend over for dinner,
我要让她请她男朋友到家里吃晚饭
and I'll be serving a big,
我会给你们做一道
old platter of "I told you so."
名叫"早就告诉过你了"的大菜
Oh, great.
太好了
Maybe you could also serve unicorn burgers and magic beans,
你还可以做独角兽汉堡和魔法豆子
and I'll invite my boyfriend, Bigfoot!
我也要请我男朋友来 野人大脚
Still better than Dylan.
还是比迪兰好
Okay. I got a surprise for you.
来 我给你准备了个惊喜
It better not be another baby.
别是又领了个宝宝吧
Is there something fun behind the couch?
沙发后面有什么好玩的吗
An Edgar Vanderkoff hand-crafted blanc de blanc sofa.
埃德加·范德考夫牌的手工特白沙发
It was a wedding gift to ourselves.
是我们给自己的结婚礼物
Plus, we're showing lily
我们也是在告诉莉莉
that we trust her enough to let us have one nice thing.
我们相信她不会破坏这么美的东西
When you think about it like that,
你这么想的话
it's really a gift for Lily. Yeah.
那真是给莉莉送了份大礼
Okay, whoa.
好吧
We only get on this couch when we know we're not dirty.
只有确定自己是干净的才能坐这沙发
That's why we got her the couch.
所以我们才给她买这个沙发
To teach her about respect.
教她懂得尊重
Legs a little wider please.
双腿再分开点
Is that a cookie in your back pocket?
你的后兜里是一块饼干吗
- Yep. - Okay.
-是的 -好吧
Bup-up-up! Hey, nice and slow.
拿出来 慢点
Watching that.
我正看着呢
But now that I got you here, what do you think?
既然你在这里 你觉得怎么样
That you wore cargo shorts
之前你穿着大口袋短裤
to my middle-school graduation,
参加我初中毕业仪式
but you're putting on a bow tie
去参加狗狗的生日派对
for some dog's birthday party.
反而戴领结了
It's all good fun.
这是为了好玩啊
The Birnbaums can't have kids.
比恩鲍姆夫妇没法生孩子
They like to do it up big for Buster.
他们想为伯斯特举办一场盛大派对
I had my fifth birthday in a break room
我的五岁生日是在一家炸小牛排店的
of a Der Wienerschnitzel, but good for buster.
休息室里度过的 但是伯斯特真幸运
Why are you so cranky?
你怎么这么暴躁
This kid at school ripped me off for 40 bucks
学校里有个孩子搞金字塔骗局
in a pyramid scheme.
骗了我40块
Did this have something to do
那跟你梳妆台上的
with that broken plastic pyramid on your dresser?
破碎的塑料金字塔有关系吗
It looked like marble in the picture.
照片里看起来像是大理石的
Oh, man.
天啊
Where were you when I was growing up?
我长大时你在哪里啊
I'd have had your dice and cigarettes
你到年级教室之前
before you got to homeroom.
我就能骗到你的骰子和香烟
Where'd you go to school -- "Guys and Dolls"?
你去哪里上学的 《红男绿女》吗
Bright as you are, you got to smarten up.
虽然你很聪明 但你得更机灵点
You got to be more suspicious of people.
你应该更加怀疑别人
Stop being such a patsy.
不要这么容易受骗了
How is this for the party?
我这身打扮参加派对怎么样
It's my first time meeting your dog-park friends.
这是我第一次跟你公园遛狗的朋友们见面
Fantastic, but be careful --
很棒 但是小心点
Some of these guys are single in the group.
这圈子里有人还是单身呢
What a surprise.
毫不意外
Manny, we won't be late.
曼尼 我们不能迟到
I left dinner for you and Joe,
我给你和乔准备了晚餐
but don't eat the deviled eggs that are in the refrigerator
但是不要吃冰箱里的魔鬼蛋
because they're for tomorrow's picnic.
因为那是明天野餐吃的
What picnic -- somebody's cat going to college?
什么野餐 庆祝某人的猫上大学了吗
No, some of Gloria's friends are getting their green cards.
不是 歌洛莉亚的一些朋友拿到了绿卡
It's actually a nice group.
他们其实人很好
Yes, they're very decent, hardworking people.
是啊 他们是认真工作的正派人
Jay met them at Mirabelle's fake wedding.
杰在米拉贝拉的假婚礼上遇见了他们
Zooboo!
《祖宝》
No, you've already watched "Zooboo" six times today.
不 今天你已经看了六次《祖宝》
We're gonna watch a classic movie
我们要在大屏幕上
right here on the big screen.
看一部经典电影
You better let him watch his show.
你最好让他看他的节目
If not, he's gonna freak out.
不然他会炸毛的
Yesterday I turned it off,
昨天我关了电视
and he bit through one of the pool balls.
他咬穿了一颗台球
Hey, Mitchell.
米奇尔
Hi, uh, um...
你好啊
B...renda.
布...伦达
Yes, you thought I wasn't gonna remember, didn't you?
你还以为我不记得了 对吧
So, how's your first week been?
上班第一周感觉怎么样
I'm getting a divorce.
我要离婚了
Oh. God.
天啊
Um...well, I did ask, so...
是我问的 所以...
It's really hard to be alone, you know?
我不想一个人待着 懂吗
Yeah.
Hey, you know who else who stays late is, um, Stacey.
你知道还有谁也加班吗 史黛丝
- 14 months. - Oh, gosh.
-14个月了 -天啊
Well, sometimes it's good to get in and out fast, though, huh?
有时候早点抽身也挺好的
We haven't had sex in 14 months.
我们14个月没做爱了
We were married 20 years.
我们结婚20年了
Well, that's a nice, round number.
这个数字不错
Yeah.
是的
My restless leg syndrome, like that's a reason to leave?
我的不宁腿综合症 这是离开的原因吗
Well, you know, everybody has --
你知道 大家都有...
Especially after all his habits and requests!
他有好多恶习和无理要求
[Paddling也指用拍子击打对方臀部]
God! I've done more paddling
我比刘易斯和克拉克远征时
than Lewis and Clark!
"划船"划得都多
Hey, Stace, you out there?
史黛丝 你在吗
Oh, she's gone. People leave.
她走了 人们会离开
Well, you know, i-if there's anything
如果我可以做点什么
that I can do to help you --
来帮助你
Could I stay with you?
我能和你待在一起吗
What's that?
什么
So, Larry's allowed to sit on the couch and I'm not?
拉里可以坐在沙发上 而我不行吗
Well, Larry is white.
拉里是白色的[白人]
Hey, you chose me.
是你们选择的我
Oh, uh, that's not what I meant.
我不是那个意思
- Hello? - Hey, Cam.
-喂 -好啊 小卡
So, listen, you remember
你记得
my -- my new friend at work Brenda, right?
我的新同事布伦达对吧
Who?
That's right -- the pretty one.
是啊 那个美女
Uh, so, she and her husband are -- are going through some problems at home,
她和她丈夫在闹矛盾
and she was wondering
她想知道
if she might be able to stay at our house.
是否可以暂住在我们家
Oh, my gosh. Yes, of course.
天哪 当然可以了
Oh, shoot and darn it!
对了 该死
I thought we had something.
我就记得好像有什么事的
Mitchell, I know what you're doing.
米奇尔 我知道你在干什么
Ahh, there's no way we can reschedule, huh?
没办法改期了 对吧
Fight your instincts.
战胜你的本能
This is a chance for you to show some real compassion.
这是你表现同情心的机会
- I need a zoloft. - Okay. Okay.
-我要吃左洛复[抗抑郁药] -好 好
Well, I agree with all that,
你说的我都同意
but I -- I am being nice!
不过 我已经很客气了
Okay? I -- I-I-I talked to her.
好吗 我跟她说话
I-I asked her if there was anything I could do to help.
我还问她 有什么我能帮忙的地方
But I -- I didn't mean it.
可是 我不是认真的
Nobody ever means it.
谁也不可能是认真的
Mitchell, you want this growth in your life.
米奇尔 你希望自己在这方面有长进的
That's why you asked her. You're just scared.
所以你才会问她 你只是害怕而已
No, no, it was a completely hollow offer and --
不 不是 那完全就是个虚伪的提议
Yeah, that -- that's right.
是的 没错
Okay, George and Wendy Hollow offer
好的 乔治和温蒂·哈洛请我们
dinner at 7:30. Okay, bye-bye.
晚上七点半吃晚餐 好的 再见
You need this, and I need something nice
你需要做这件好事 而我也需要它
to write about you in our Christmas Letter.
作为可以写在圣诞卡片上的素材
I love you, too. Goodbye.
我也爱你 再见
So...bad news, huh?
坏消息 是吗
Well, only if you hate home cooking.
是啊 如果你介意吃家常菜的话
- You're the best! - So --
-你是最好的 -那就
I think you got some of my zoloft.
你好像吃进去一点我的左洛复了
That's okay. I could use it.
没关系 我用得上
Bark Mitzvah -- what a concept.
狗狗的成年礼 这概念太好了
原词应为Bagles and lox, dog biscuits. 贝果饼夹熏鱼 狗饼干这里用了与狗狗相关的音似词
Beagles and lox, dog briskets.
贝狗饼夹熏鱼 狗胸饼
Whoever's in charge of the wordplay, bravo.
负责这些文字游戏的人真是太赞了
Is this for dogs or for people?
这是给狗吃的还是给人吃的
I hope it's for people. I've had four of them.
希望是给人吃的 我都吃了四块了
- Are you having fun? - Ay, yes.
-你觉得有意思吗 -是的
Before today, I had never seen a gravy fountain.
今天前 我还从没见过肉汁喷泉
Oh, Gumdrop, look! Stella's here!
小软糖 快看 斯黛拉来了
Everybody, let's get a picture.
大家快来 我们照张合影
Pupparazzi! How great is that?
还有狗仔队呢 太棒了
Everybody squeeze in.
大家靠近一点
Be careful of her cysts. She'll nip you.
小心她的包囊 她会咬你的
O-okay.
好的
Okay, one more. Doodles blinked.
好的 再来一张 小涂鸦刚才眨眼了
Now, really get tight this time.
这次靠得再近一些
No! No, no, no!
不 不 不
- Enough. Enough. - Oh, Gloria -- Gloria.
-够了 够了 -歌洛莉亚 歌洛莉亚
Gloria, honey, I -- listen.
歌洛莉亚 亲爱的
I-I know you're not a dog person.
我知道你不喜欢狗
No, I'm okay with the dogs.
不是 跟狗在一起没问题
I'm just not a dog-person person.
我只是不喜欢爱狗的那些人
You said that this party was going to be normal.
你说这个派对是正常的
It's just fun.
只是图个乐子
There's a buffet and an open bar for dogs.
这有个为狗准备的自助餐和酒吧
My cousin got married on a raft.
我表亲在救生艇上结的婚
I tried to play along, Jay,
我很努力地融入了 杰
but -- but this is crazy.
但这也太疯狂了
I have to go home.
我必须要回家了
Gloria, now, do you think it's fair
歌洛莉亚 你认为用疯狂这个词
to use the word "Crazy" about a --
来形容这里公平吗
I-I'll see you at home, Gloria.
我们回家见 歌洛莉亚
Oh, thank you so much, you guys.
非常感谢你们
God, where were you when I was
天哪 我寻找真命天子的时候
looking for the perfect man?
你们在哪呢
Well, probably in Missouri
可能在密苏里
at a bar called Kansas City Meats
一家叫堪萨斯城肉棒的酒吧
- doing the same thing. - Funny!
-做着同样的事吧 -太幽默了
- Look at that smile. - What?
-看你笑得 -怎么了
That's what being nice feels like.
这就是表达善意的感觉
- I like it. - I'm proud of you.
-我很喜欢 -我为你骄傲
Well, I'm just letting a person
我只是让一个不怎么认识的人
I barely know sleep in my home.
住在我的家里
I don't know if I'd use the word "Hero," But...
我不知道是否可以称得上是英雄 可是
"Hero"?
英雄
Stop it. You're embarrassing me.
别说了 我都不好意思了
Oh, god.
天哪
Hey, you guys have a cat?
你们养猫了吗
Um, how about I freshen up that wine, huh?
我给你加点酒吧
Oh, no. I am good. Okay, um...
不用 我很好 好吧
In fact, Cam, what are --
事实上 小卡 我们
what are we doing in the living room, here?
我们在客厅里待着干什么呢
You know?
你知道吗
Yeah, oh, you know what?
是啊 知道吗
We haven't even given Brenda a tour of our ga-- uh, garage.
我们还没带布伦达参观我们的车库呢
Our -- our gage.
我们的车库
Oh, no. I don't like garages.
不去了 我不喜欢车库
That's where Doug kept his precious sailboat.
道格把他心爱的帆船就放在车库里
No eating on the boat.
不许在船上吃东西
No drinking on the boat.
不许在船上喝酒
All because the one time I went on the boat, I spilled.
就因为有一次我在船上把酒撒了
- Well, guess what. Boats go like this. - Oh, geez.
-知道吗 船上就是这样 -老天
You know?! And I'm like...
你知道吗 我当时...
Who -- who loves a thing more than a person?
谁会爱惜一样东西多过爱惜一个人
A monster.
禽兽
Have we shown you our shed?
我们带你看我们的小棚子了吗
There's a shed.
我们有个小棚子
He knew what he was getting into when he married me.
他跟我结婚的时候就知道我是什么样的
I'm a little messy.
我有点悲剧
Well, guess what, Doug!
没想到吧 道格
Life's a little messy.
生活本来就是个杯具
Okay, my sinuses leak, my -- my ears run,
我鼻水流个不停 耳朵也会渗出液体
and I have hyperactive sweat glands, but...
我的汗腺还过度发达
You know what? I do need a refill.
我确实需要再来一杯
Well, I'm not surprised. She's losing a lot of fluids.
我一点也不吃惊 她失了不少水
It's as if Doug was over here.
就像道格就在这里一样
I know. I saw that.
我知道 我看到了
Alec!
艾丽克
His dumb dad got transferred to dumb Africa
他的二货爸爸被调去非洲
to operate on some dumb babies.
给一些二货孩子看病
So fixing their hearts is worth breaking mine?
去给他们治心脏就要伤我的心吗
It's kind of worth it.
还是挺值得的
He can do like six operations a day.
他每天可以做六台手术
Yeah. I-I-I understand. I'm sorry I'm lashing out.
是 我理解 不好意思我冲你发火了
I-I just really like you.
我只是太喜欢你了
I still like you.
我还喜欢你
You're making this worse.
你这么说我感觉更糟
Bye, Alec.
再见 艾丽克
Bye, Alex.
再见 艾丽克斯
I knew you couldn't leave without one last kiss!
我就知道你不最后亲我一下是不会走的
We can work this out!
我们可以解决这个问题
I'm -- I'm -- I'm gonna regret that, aren't I?
我 我会后悔的 对吧
Uh, I was hoping you could throw this away for me.
我只是想让你帮我丢一下这个
Yeah. Sure.
好 当然
So, honey, we've been talking,
亲爱的 我们聊了一下
and we want to meet your boyfriend.
都想见见你男朋友
You just missed him.
你们刚错过了
He was here?
他来了吗
He just left. This is his cup.
他刚走 这是他的杯子
Oh, look at that.
瞧瞧这个
Oh, it looks like "Alex."
这看着像"艾丽克斯"
His name is Alec. The "C" Just got smudged.
他名叫艾丽克 那个"C"被抹花了
Honey, his name is Alec.
亲 他叫艾丽克
But the "C" Got smudged.
但那个"C"被抹花了
Yeah, um, well, why don't you just text him
对了 你怎么不给他发个短信
and then invite him back for dinner?
邀请他来吃晚饭
I can't. He broke up with me.
不行 他跟我分手了
Oh, no.
不是吧
He's moving to Africa.
他要搬去非洲
Because they need grocery models in Africa.
因为非洲的超市需要模特
Honey, I'm so sorry.
亲爱的 我很遗憾
They broke up.
他们分手了
I miss him.
我想他
Oh, don't worry.
别担心
Soon it will be like he never existed.
很快他就像从没出现过一样了
Okay.
好了
Ay dios mío, Manny, what's going on with Joe?
我的天啊 曼尼 乔怎么了
He's a drug addict.
他就是个瘾君子
After two hours of mind-liquefying "Zooboo,"
看了两个小时的白痴剧《祖宝》以后
I briefly put on a classic movie, and he freaked out.
我只是放了一部老电影 他就暴走了
If he could walk better,
要是他走得再稳一点
I'd seriously suggest a 12-step program.
我肯定要推荐个戒毒项目给他
Ay, no, Joe. No more "Zooboo."
不要 乔 不看《祖宝》了
Thank you.
谢谢
Ay, no. Turn the big TV off.
不要 把大电视关掉
If he sees it on, he's going to want to watch his show.
他看到电视开着就会要看他想看的节目
Why are you home?
你怎么回来了
Buster's party was a bark mitzvah.
伯斯特的派对是个给狗办的犹太成人礼
I don't know why Jay would take me to this place.
我搞不懂杰怎么会带我去那里
I don't know.
我不知道
Maybe this dog stuff is his way
也许狗狗派对什么的
of trying to find a common interest with you.
只是他想找点跟你的共同兴趣
It's hard.
这不容易
You don't like golf or scotch
你不喜欢高尔夫或威士忌
or Eisenhower documentaries.
或者艾森豪威尔的纪录片
It's true. I don't like Ike.
没错 我不喜欢艾克
But the people in this party,
可是这个派对上的人
they are so obsessed with dogs.
他们对狗简直痴迷
Even the punch bowl was in the shape of a toilet.
连酒杯都是马桶形状的
Well, it's not like Jay
杰又不是
doesn't get out of his comfort zone for you.
不会为了你做自己不愿做的事
He's going to your green-card picnic tomorrow.
他明天要去你的绿卡野餐
You're right.
你说得对
He even bought star-spangled sombreros for everybody.
他还给所有人买了带星星的墨西哥宽边帽
It's the wrong country.
他弄错国家了
He never listens, but -- but he's sweet.
他从来不听我说话 不过他很贴心
You know what?
你知道吗
I should go back to that party.
我该回那个派对去
You guys want to come?
你们想来吗
Might as well.
倒也无妨
They had a pretty good spread at Buster's bris.
我记得伯斯特的割礼上果酱挺好吃的
Okay, let's get this woman into bed
好了 我们把这个女人弄到床上去
and, in the morning, out of the house as fast as we can.
明天一早 用最快的速度让她离开
Honestly, I don't know how straight guys do it.
说实话 我不知道直男是怎么做到的
Probably without those hand gestures.
大概没有这么多手势吧
So, nice bath?
洗得好吗
the best. I'm so ready for bed.
太舒服了 我准备好上床睡觉了
Okay. Ooh, by the way, I left a ring in there.
哦对了 我留了个环在里面
Oh, well, we'll get at it with some bleach in the morning.
没事 我们明早漂白一下就好了
No, no, no, my wedding ring.
不 不是 是我的婚戒
I just don't feel like wearing it anymore.
我只是不想再戴着它了
Oh, well, goodbye, bad memories,
和讨厌的回忆说再见
hello to our guest couch, the Cloud.
迎接我们的客用沙发 云端
That's a small cloud.
真是个小云端
Oh, you know what? It's deceptively comfy.
你知道吗 它舒服极了
I sleep on it all the time.
我经常在那上面睡觉
- Yeah, if I don't beat him to it first. - Really?
-是啊 如果我没抢赢他 -真的吗
Oh, okay. All right.
好吧 就这样
So, there you are.
你躺下了
- Okay. - Okay, yeah.
-好了 -好了 是的
I'm not -- I'm pretty sure this isn't gonna work.
我不...我很确定这不行啊
No, no, this will be fine. This will be fine.
不 这没事的 没事的
This is what I always do. It's not a big deal.
我总是这样做的 没什么大不了
Just make this up nice for you.
给你布置得舒服一点
There we go. Okay.
这样就好了
See you in the morning.
明早见
Yeah, but my -- my head's --
可是我的 我的头
Oh. What we were thinking?
看我们都在想什么呢
Here. Come on. There it is right there.
来吧 这样就好了
- There you go. Okay. Night-night. - Night-night.
-睡吧 晚安 -晚安
Hey, guys.
两位
Here's an idea.
我有个主意
What if I just slept on your couch in the living room?
我睡到你们客厅的那个沙发上怎么样
I'm shaking.
我在发抖
Why? Problem solved.
怎么了 问题解决了
No, she's making the whole house shake.
不是 她的呼噜声让整个房子都在抖
Hey, guys. You're back? What's going on?
你们回来了 出什么事了
I'm sorry. I love you, and you love dog parties.
对不起 我爱你 而你喜欢这狗派对
So that means that I love dog parties.
这就意味着我也喜欢狗派对
You don't think it's crazy anymore?
你不再认为这很疯狂了吗
I didn't say that.
我没那么说
But Manny's right.
不过曼尼说得对
We should get more involved in each other's activities.
我们应该多参与一下对方的社交活动
So, this was your idea?
这是你的主意吗
Well, it's sort of the foundation of any healthy marriage,
这应该是健康婚姻生活的基础
but I did bring it up.
不过是我提出来的
This is great!
这太棒了
Well, come on. Give me a hand.
来吧 给我搭把手
We'll grab you and your mom an ice-cream bone.
我们给你和你妈妈弄个冰淇淋骨头尝尝
I didn't do much. I just --
我真的没做什么 我只是
Ruined my plan, that's all.
毁了我的计划 仅此而已
I wanted her to leave!
我希望她离开的
What?
什么
She was supposed to storm out of here.
她本应该怒气冲冲离开这里
And after, I go home and say,
然后 等我回家就可以说
"Maybe we should do some things separately."
"也许我们应该分头做事"
I was gonna use her bailing out of this
这样我明天就有借口
as a chip to get out of that stupid picnic tomorrow.
推掉那个愚蠢的野餐了
But now I've got no chip.
可是现在我没有借口了
Hey, how about next time you devise a plan
下次你计划想逃避什么的时候
to avoid expressing a feeling, clue me in.
能不能给我点暗示
You can't be clued in. You're a patsy.
我不能给你暗示 你脑子太不好使了
There was talk of an ice-cream bone?
刚才不是说要弄冰淇淋骨头吗
I made that up, too. Use your head!
那是我编的 动动脑子好不好
Hey, honey, you alone?
亲爱的 你一个人吗
Do you see anyone else in here?
你在这里看到别人了吗
Do you?
你呢
Sweetheart, your father and I think we owe you an apology.
宝贝 你爸爸和我觉得该跟你道歉
For what?
为了什么
Well, this morning when we didn't think
今早 我们都没想到
the rose could be for you,
玫瑰花可能是送给你的
it seemed like maybe it hurt your feelings.
看起来有点伤你的心了
I guess. A little.
我想是有一点
I am so sorry to make you feel bad.
我很抱歉让你难受了
And it is completely believable
你拥有追求者
that you would have an admirer.
是完全有可能的
Okay.
好吧
What we're worried about
我们担心的是
is that we have created an environment
我们营造出来的这种氛围
in which you feel it's necessary to...
让你觉得有必要...
- embelli-- - fanta--
-修... -虚...
- exagger-- - Oh, my god.
-夸... -天哪
You guys don't think Alec is real?
你们认为艾丽克是我虚构出来的吗
Sweetheart, I remember the pressure there was
宝贝 我还记得在高中的时候
to fit in in high school.
所承受的那些压力
So do I. And whether you try to fit in
我也是 不管你是
by saying you fought a baby bear
编造说你跟小熊打过架
or by making up a boyfriend...
还是虚构一个男朋友
You guys are so unbelievable.
你们俩真不可理喻
You really think I'm that pathetic
你们真的觉得我悲催到
that I'd have to create some imaginary boyfriend?
要编造个幻想男友出来吗
You know what's not imaginary?
你知道什么不是幻想出来的吗
Your feelings.
你的情感
Okay, don't! Don't!
别 别碰我
F.Y.I., I changed my Facebook
告诉你们吧 我刚在Facebook上
status to "single"
把情感状况改成单身
about an hour ago, and guess what.
才改了一个小时 你们猜怎么着
I already have a date.
已经有人约我了
You don't believe me, do you?
你们不信我 是不是
Sweetheart, you've had two boyfriends in 30 seconds.
亲爱的 半分钟内你已经交了两个男友
That practically Haley's record.
几乎破了海莉的纪录
Well, he's real. His name is Teddy.
他是真实存在的 他叫泰迪
His name is...Teddy?
他叫泰迪[熊]吗
Yeah.
是啊
Teddy Keyes.
泰迪·凯斯[钥匙]
And what do we know about this young man?
这个年轻人是怎么样一个人
He's new to our school.
他是新转来我们学校的
He works at some mattress store -- Mattress King.
在一个叫"床垫大王"的店打工[马丁·路德·金]
And he's a bit of a bad boy.
还有就是他有些坏男生气质
He had a little problem with shoplifting.
他过去在商店里偷过东西
He spent some time in juvie.
在少管所待过一阵
But, you know, he's not really my type.
不过说实话 他不太是我的菜
He's just a rebound.
就是过渡期的备胎罢了
So I guess it doesn't really matter.
所以我觉得应该无所谓吧
Why am I even talking to you guys?
我为什么要告诉你们这些
Leave!
快走[树叶]
Get out!
赶紧走
Did you see the look in her eyes?
你看到她的眼神了吗
Like she believed everything she was saying.
就好像她真的相信她说的一样
That's terrifying. Like this guy I knew in college.
太恐怖了 就好像我大学认识的一个人
He was always telling me about these "crazy parties"
他老是给我讲这些疯狂派对
that were "full of women."
说那里到处都是女的
But when I'd ask him where they were,
可每次我问他派对在哪里
he'd give me a fake address.
他都会给我假地址
Makes me wonder what else she's making up.
这让我疑惑究竟还有什么是她编出来的
I have never met that girl she turtors in math.
我从来没见过她辅导数学的那个女生
Esther Choi? Me neither.
埃丝特·蔡吗 我也没见过
Because she doesn't exist!
因为她根本就不存在
There is not an Esther Choi on earth
这世上没有一个叫埃丝特·蔡[华裔]
who needs math tutoring.
还需要被辅导数学的
She needs help, Claire.
她需要帮助 克莱尔
What do we do?
我们该怎么办
I mean, should we send her back to that therapist?
我们该再送她去看那个心理医生吗
The one we've never met?
我们从没见过的那个吗
No! Wait!
不 等等
Don't open it! Move away!
别开门 让开
It's for me! Move!
是找我的 让开
Damn. You look hot.
天啊 你好漂亮
The roses are from you, Teddy?
玫瑰是你送的吗 泰迪
Yeah, I met a guy in juvie who works at the cemetery.
是啊 我在少管所认识个人在墓地工作
They got flowers all over the place.
他们那儿到处都是花
Oh, I also got you this.
我还给你带了这个
Sweet. Let's go.
太棒了 走吧
My other one of these cracked,
另外一个头盔裂了
so you can use this one.
你用这个吧
Okay.
好的
Yes! Our little girl isn't crazy!
太好了 我们的乖女儿没疯
Teddy's real!
泰迪是真实存在的
- Real freaky! - I'm going!
-是真的不像好人 -我去追
Cam, you're snoring.
小卡 你在打鼾
What? Sorry.
什么 不好意思
Was that me?
是我打鼾吗
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
天啊 天啊
What is she doing out here?
她在这里干什么
- Well, she has that restless leg. - Both of them?
-她的腿有睡眠不宁症 -两条都有吗
Oh, my gosh, get the ice cream!
天啊 把冰淇淋拿开
What do we do? Should we wake her up?
我们要怎么办 该把她叫起来吗
And say what?
然后说什么
"Would you mind terribly getting off our couch?
能烦请你从沙发上下来吗
You seem to be glazing it."
你貌似在给它涂油
Do you have a better idea?
你还有更好的主意吗
Okay, okay, go around the back.
好吧 到后面去
What am I doing? What am I doing?
我要怎么做 我要怎么做
We'll get this underneath her.
把这个垫到她下面
Once, I helped a sow give birth to nine baby piglets
有一次我帮一头母猪在我们家客厅地板上
on our living room floor.
给八只猪仔接生
Didn't get a drop of nothin' on the linoleum.
什么都没沾到油毯上
We're gonna get back to why the sow was in the living room.
等下再问你为什么客厅会有只母猪
Lady Di's wedding. It was beautiful.
我们一起看戴安娜王妃的婚礼直播 太美了
Cam, she's gonna wake up.
小卡 我们会弄醒她的
Oh, please, she's got enough pills in her,
怎么可能 她吃了那么多安眠药
she's gonna rattle like a maraca.
多到可以像响葫芦一样摇响了
Roll!
把她翻过来
Doug, no, I don't wanna.
道格 不 我不想要
Okay, okay, what do I do? What do I do?
好吧 我该怎么办 我该怎么办
You come back around this way.
你从这边过来
No, Doug.
不 道格
Now, what we're gonna do is I'll push her this way
现在这么办 我把她往这边推
and pull the blanket.
然后拉动毯子
Okay, I got to pull her? Okay.
好 我得拉她是吗 好
I'm losing her. I'm losing her.
要掉了 要掉了
This could work, too. It's fine.
这样倒是也行 没问题的
What -- what happened?
怎 怎么了
You were having a really bad dream,
你刚做恶梦了
and then you rolled right off
然后沙发睡着也不太舒服
of our uncomfortable sofa.
你就滚下来了
I'm sorry. I-I was lonely.
真抱歉 我太孤独了
I came out here,
我跑出来
and then I wound up waking up the whole house.
结果把你全家都吵醒了
I'm the worst houseguest in the world!
我简直是世界上最讨人厌的客人
- Don't. - Don't.
-别别别 -别别别
Doug was right. I'm gonna die alone.
道格说得对 我会孤独终老的
- Don't. - Don't.
-别别别 -别别别
Okay, come on.
过来
Can you please be quiet?
你能不能安静点儿啊
I'm so sorry, Lily. It's all my fault.
真是太抱歉了 莉莉 都是我的错
My head hurts.
我头疼
- I'm gonna get you some aspirin. - Okay.
-我去给你拿点止疼药 -好
Cam, are we terrible people?
小卡 我们是不是太坏了
For protecting a Vanderkoff?
还不是为了保护范德考夫的沙发
He hanged himself last year.
他去年可是上吊自杀了
It's not like they're making more of those.
这玩意可是绝版 以后再也不会有了
We just rolled a bipolar divorcee
我们刚刚把一个双相情感障碍的离婚妇女
face-first onto a hardwood floor.
给滚到硬木地板上去了 还是脸先落地
All to protect a couch.
就为了保护个沙发
It's not just a couch. Our one nice thing.
不只是个沙发 那是我们唯一的好东西
The last seven years have been about sticky countertops
我们过去七年一直用着这种油腻腻的台面
and horsy shower curtains and childproof locks.
丑不拉几的浴帘 还有儿童安全锁
Do you know what's in this drawer?
你知道这抽屉里是什么东西吗
I don't know what's in this drawer.
我都不知道抽屉里是啥
I have no idea.
完全不知道
Look, I know it's frustrating, all right?
我知道这让人挺不爽的 好吧
But is that really a reason to choose a thing over a person?
但这不是我们爱惜东西而不爱惜人的理由
I mean, come on. We're no better than Doug.
拜托 我们简直跟道格是一个档次的
I guess it's not a great example to set for Lily.
我觉得这对莉莉来说的确不是一个好榜样
Maybe we don't deserve one nice thing.
也许我们并不值得拥有这么一件好东西
"And when the sun came out, all the turtles,
然后太阳升起了 所有的乌龟
from Abner to Zeke, had fun at the picnic."
从小A到小Z 都在野餐时愉快地玩耍
"A rainy day for turtles."
《乌龟们的下雨天》
It always makes Lily feel better.
这本书总能让莉莉高兴起来
I guess she just thought that...
我想她是觉得...
We do have one nice thing.
我们确实拥有一样好东西
"And a beautiful rain--"
然后一场美丽的雨
Well, we don't have to watch it die. Come on.
我们用不着非得看着它死去 走吧
Let's go, Jay!
走吧 杰
We're supposed to be at the picnic in 20 minutes!
我们二十分钟后就该到野餐地点了
They've been living in a van for six years.
他们在货车里都住了六年
They can wait a little longer.
多等一小会儿也不会怎么样
So, today, instead of watching the game,
所以今天我是看不成球赛了
I'll be playing lawn darts with Colombians,
我得去跟哥伦比亚人在草地上玩飞镖
thanks to you not using your brain.
谢谢你不长脑子
Here we go -- "The Sting."
我要看这个 《骗中骗》
Well, someone's getting what they want today.
倒是有人是得偿所愿了
You finally get to watch your precious movie, huh?
你终于可以看你的宝贝电影了
"A classic tale about a long con."
关于一场漫长骗局的传说
Well, you're welcome.
我今天就让给你了
Wait a minute.
等一下
"Rogues and double-crossers abound.
流氓和出卖朋友的人遍地都是
Who will outsmart whom?"
谁能胜过谁
Son of a bitch.
混蛋
You knew I was using the bark mitzvah
你知道我利用狗狗成人礼派对
as a bargaining chip.
当做讨价还价的筹码
That's why you talked Gloria into coming back --
所以你才说服歌洛丽亚回去
So I couldn't weasel my way out of this stupid picnic
所以我就逃不掉这个野餐
and you'd get the big TV.
然后你就能独占大电视
Well, I'm onto you now.
我现在盯上你了
I was just reading off the DVD box.
我只不过是在读DVD封面
I mean, can you believe
你能相信吗
all the stuff Brenda brought for one night?
布伦达过来住一晚上就带这么多东西
I know. Look at all this stuff over here.
是啊 看那一堆东西
Super replenishing balm?
超补水唇膏
Uh, pore-reducing booster serum?
毛孔收缩精华液
Anti-aging buffing beads?
抗老化提亮珠珠
It must be so hard to be a girl.
当女人也太累了
I know. I know.
可不是嘛
It really makes you worry about the world
真让人担心以后莉莉要怎样
we're sending Lily out into.
应付这个不友好的世界
Well, there's so much pressure on girls to be perfect.
女孩必须要完美无缺 这压力太大了
- You ready? - Yep.
-你好了吗 -好了
The thing is, Cam,
问题是 小卡
all we can do is instill our beliefs in her
我们能做的就是把我们的价值观教给她
and hope that she makes good choices.
期望她能做出明智的选择
Calming mister?
镇静喷雾要么[冷静点了吗]
It does feel nice to talk about it.
这么谈一谈确实好多了
No, this is a calming mister.
不是 这是个镇静喷雾
I just bought this.
我刚买的
Oh, god, yes.
哦是吗 要的
Wanna try it?
试试