Okay, what nationality was "Chop-in"?
- Chopin. - What the hell is that?
- Ew. - Just guess a country.
Delaware's a state.
It's where Poles are from.
You'd love it there, Lindsers.
Sport and Leisure.
What's the first letter on the typewriter?
- Wrong. Q. - Q?
-错 是Q -是Q吗
- Q? Q? - Why q?
-Q 怎么是Q -为什么是Q
- It just says "Q." - Why would q be first?
Barely any words use Q's.
Q's are like the elbows of letters.
What does that mean?
It should totally be A.
Yeah! I should get a pie.
You thought we meant real pie, didn't you?
Want a pie? I can make you a pie.
You don't have to make me a coconut cream pie.
Then you'd have to go to the store for me
and also buy me ice cream and tampons why you're there.
I am learning so much from this game.
That the national air and space museum
isn't named after some guy named Aaron Space?
That Edgar will do things for me.
Ever since I owned the mic at
Becca's stupid surprise baby party,
He's been riding my jock hard.
I sang Kate Bush.
Just preheating the oven.
- You're sweet! - My turn.
Oh, my god! Are you not done?
Science and Nature.
Who was the first man in space?
I know Louis Armstrong.
The name Kurt Loder is coming to mind.
That does sound familiar.
It's Yuri Gagarin.
Louis Armstrong was a jazz trumpeter.
Buzz lightyear is a cartoon.
And Kurt Loder was a VJ for MTV,
about whom the only connection to space travel
was that the network's logo was a man in a space suit.
Yeah. I don't know, Jimmy.
好吧 说不好 吉米
That doesn't sound right.
Charles Dickens wrote what 1837 novel
about the plight of street urchins?
- Annie. - Yes!
Ralph Ellison, Sylvia Plath.
The expectation of a second novel can paralyse some.
But what is there to be afraid of?
I received an only
positive adjacent review in the Times.
If you look past Michiko Kakutani's
thinly veiled ethnocentrism
and scorching ephebiphobia.
To say that I allowed fear to cripple me
would be to say that I am not, in fact, a writer,
Which would be akin to saying,
"Lo, condemn me thus back to the earth,
for I am no more."
Wait, so do you or do you not
have something for me to read?
You're my agent, right?
It's your job to find me work while things percolate on the follow-up.
Jimmy, I can't get you any more magazine work
after Megan Thomas sued you for writing about having sex with her.
Chuck Klosterman sent me a bottle of scotch for that one.
I do get calls for people needing translation work,
research assistant, novelization of movies...
There's a popcorn catalog that needs a copywriter.
Just hearing those horrific choices has fueled my fire.
I can tell that the big idea is right around the corner.
In fact, I wouldn't be surprised
if I start flying through those pages any day now.
Nope, would not be surprised at all.
He'll have another.
But this is really stretching
the definition of the word "Meeting," Jimmy.
Where's the bloody mary bar?
What the hell? Edgar!
- Edgar! - It is sunday, right?
-埃德加 -今天是周日 没错吧
- Edgar! - Edgar!
I don't think he's home.
We can do this ourselves.
Well, I know it involves vodka and tomato juice.
Well, we have a tomato.
I'm sure that's fine.
Same thing, basically.
Don't you think it's time you got your own stuff?
I mean, you're wearing my clothes,
Using my toothbrush...
Listen, I'm perfectly fine having you as a girlfriend.
But not as a dependent.
But where in your mind's eye
do you see me putting said stuff once I get it?
You know, where you keep things.
You mean, the three trash bags on the floor in the corner?
Uh-huh, Gretchen's corner.
If there's space that I'm not using
that can't be, you know, seen,
See? There's no room for me in my own house!
瞧吧 在我自己家 都没有我的空间
When I was a kid, I'd say come over
and watch skin-amax and drink Zima in "My house" Or "Our house,"
来"我家"或者"我们家" 看小黄片 喝饮料
Not "The house my parents bought."
Well, they should've corrected you on that.
You have one job on Sundays!
- What were you thinking not being here? - One!
-你怎么想的 竟然跑出去了 -就一件
My fault-- I made him take me to get football costumes.
Yeah, everything's in the bloody mary drawer.
You've never watched a sport in your life.
Gretch, I need to get over Paul.
And apparently, on Sundays,
They have these sports bars
Full of horny macho dumb-dumbs
Whose girlfriends are all at home.
You do love wings.
I need a bo-hunk.
Paul was such a gump.
Get this-- he told me the definition of love
Is putting someone else's needs above yours.
- Ew. - I know.
Meanwhile, Edgar's being so nice.
He knows I'm hurting so he keeps doing stuff for me.
Just be careful with him, okay?
Edgar, let's hit the wing place before the game starts.
Yeah. We'll ride with you.
There's a towels & stuff in that mall
Where Gretchen can buy a toothbrush
And other things adults own.
You're gonna help me shop?
I'm going for literary inspiration.
I'm not finding it here, so maybe I'll find it
Amongst the diabetic masses of the American shopper.
I'm like Thoreau,
Only the mall shall be my Walden.
I would've found that eventually.
Hang out with me first.
What do you want to do?
打开微信 扫描左侧二维码或搜索公众号: ustvboom了解最新影视字幕发布信息
That's your boyfriend.
That's your girlfriend.
That's your boyfriend.
I love my boyfriend.
This is shit! Derivative trifle!
The composition is wretched.
Tonal harmony nonexistent.
Don't even get me started on the perspective.
This contest is a sham.
Oh, what next? What next?
Go buy your crap. I have to work now.
No whining, woman!
Let the observation...begin.
And they have four chances to get said ten yards.
Now, before I get into some of your various offensive packages,
I'm reminded of when my older brother Salazar
Took me to see a raider game.
We were so far away,
but to me, it was like being on the field.
And then he sold crank to a Chargers fan in the men's room
And we used the money to go to Applebee's.
You know what I think?
Over there, with the shoulders.
All right, go to it.
Go wing man for me.
- How many wings should this man go get you? - No.
Go talk to that cute guy for me.
Oh, but now that you mention it,
I could use some more wings, too.
Can I help you find something?
Do you have any puppies?
This isn't a dog store.
Daisy and Mort met in Buenos Aires in 1968.
Daisy worked at a hat factory.
Mort lived as an ashkenazi jew, but really
He was a nazi war criminal.
No, that's dumb. Who cares?
不行 太傻逼了 谁在乎啊
Megan was just like any other 15-year-old girl.
She loved social media,
And lived and died by the fluctuating attention from boys.
But what most people didn't know
Was that Megan was actually...
A nazi war criminal.
What's wrong with me?
- Excuse me? - Yeah?
Uh, your job must be tedious and bleak.
Ah, sure. Well, so far it's a sweet-ass gig.
I get walk around macking on hoes all day.
And nobody in the food court busses their trays,
So I eat like a king.
And if I don't want to chase a shoplifter, I don't.
I go smoke a bowl out on the delivery bay
And wait for him to bail with the merch.
Plus, I get to work for my best friend Eric,
Who's a sweetheart.
he's got sickle cell,
But he's real positive about it.
So, yeah, I guess, all in all,
This job really fits my lifestyle.
I was looking for a subject.
So, let me ask you something.
If you were offered the job, would you write,
Say, a novelization of a movie?
Bec-because I would love that!
Oh, my god. Wait right here.
I'm gonna be right back!
What is that? That is delightful!
Wha-what's your name?
Thanks, but I'm just not interested.
I'm not gay, no.
My friend, over there,
With the sauce on her face, she wanted me to come,
uh, talk to, talk to you for her.
Well, tell her thanks,
But I'm actually gay.
Wait, you said you weren't interested in me.
- I can't buy stuff. - Why?
It's like, my old stuff was just stuff I accrued over time.
Crap I stole during my shoplifting days.
Shit I inherited from that old lady
Who thought I was her granddaughter.
And now I have to completely furnish, from scratch,
the life of an adult woman
And I have no clue how to do that.
Anyway, Jimmy doesn't even want to make space for me in his house.
That's why you need stuff, Gretch.
To stake your claim.
Get your shit up in those crevasses.
Besides, stuff is the best.
You can never get lonely with stuff.
And there are so many examples of stuff--
Ice cube trays shaped like high heels.
Smaller towels for your butt.
Chairs, which I guess are also for your butt.
Wait, so you...
Like her, but you're trolling for dudes for her?
She is so using you.
Instead of talking to dudes for her,
You should be lining up some sweet ass for yourself.
Or if you prefer it-- "Hot puss."
You see that cocktail waitress with the brown hair?
She's our friend of ours.
And she needs to stop dating married baseball players.
I'll introduce you.
And then once you get her number,
Bring your friend a wet wipe.
You've been standing here for 20 minutes.
Can I help you find something?
I'm waiting for someone.
My son... Actually.
Cart paralysis. It's very common.
What do you need to get?
I just moved in with my boyfriend
And I don't have any stuff except for a food processor
And, like, 19 thongs, because even though at first we were like,
"I am not wearing that,"
The patriarchy somehow convinced us
that visible panty lines were unacceptable,
so now I've just grown accustomed
To the feeling of a fabric rope against my actual asshole all day.
And anyway, even if I did buy the stuff of a life,
there's nowhere for me to put it
Because I'm not sure this dude really wanted me to move in
Because I'm an irresponsible monster
Who burned down her apartment with her vibrator!
I'm just gonna leave you
With this checklist for college freshmen.
I'll tell you when I've had enough.
I really like your shirt-- it shows off your shoulder.
Did you find everything you need?
Why, yes, I did. Thank you.
是的 没错 谢谢
And, like, 20 things I didn't know existed.
Little dryer balls that beat the shit out of your clothes?
Get off the counter, banana, you fancy now.
从柜台上滚起来吧 香蕉 你瞬间高大上了
And I'm gonna make my own soda.
Can I make champagne?
Don't know. Gonna try.
- Fantastic. - Yeah.
Starting a whole new life.
It's scary but... I'm doing it.
This is a lot of stuff.
Did you need help with any storage solutions today?
Where's your stuff?
Why do I have to go buy everything?
Uh, because you have nothing.
But why do I have to be the one making all the adjustments?
How has your life changed Since I moved in,
other than you get all of this next to you every night?
Any change for you is purely theoretical.
"Oh, I live with someone now."
Big stinking deal. I have nothing.
I told you, we would find room for your things.
I don't want to live around you, Jimmy.
I don't want to live in the crevasses.
So... What movie are we adapting?
Oh, no, it was a hypothetical.
And for me, not for you.
But I just quit my job.
Damn it! This keeps happening to me.
I told Eric to suck my dick!
Why would I do that?
I-I, I got your text.
What's the crisis?
And h-h-how do you still have buffalo sauce on your face?
I went to the mall today
looking to take my mind off how lonely I am
and maybe hook up with a nice guy.
Turns out, I was looking in the wrong place.
The answer was right in front of me the whole time.
I don't need to be looking in the real world.
I need to be looking online.
So, what I am doing here?
I need sexy photos for my profile.
So, are you going to, uh,
Call that cute waitress you were talking to?
Nah. We have nothing in common.
How did you get wing sauce down there?
Russell, it's Jimmy.
Um, those jobs you mentioned--
You can find me something.
Probably not the popcorn thing.
Also, this counts as a meeting, so you owe me a drink.
而且 这也算是开会 所以你得补请我一杯酒
I understand that my actions
Could lead you to feel a bit unwelcome,
And I'll work on not being such a control freak.
I mean, this is your house, too.
So, I made you...
It's called a kluf.
What, what is that? What are you doing?
那 那是什么玩意儿 你在干什么
Why-why are you doing that?
Well, you just said it's my house, too,
So I'm just putting some art on our walls.
But you see, ev-everything here
但是 你得明白 这里的一切
Is meticulously curated so...
I don't know, Jimmy.
I really like this poster.
If you really want me to feel comfortable here
Maybe there's another way.
What about the-the kluf?
You can use it. I'll just take yours.
Thank you for making room for me.
I like our place.
Guess what Paul's definition of love is?
Putting someone else's needs above yours.
- Ew. - I know. He's such a gump.
-好恶 -我也觉得 他真是个蠢蛋
Come on, let's tackle the closet.