我爱上的人是奇葩 第二季 You're the Worst Season 2 第7集: 岁月暂时静好 There Is Not Currently A Problem

上映日期: 2,015

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 爱情

导演: 斯蒂芬·福尔克

演员: 克里斯·吉尔 / 阿雅·卡什 / 戴斯敏·博格斯 / 凯瑟·多诺休 / 布兰登·史密斯


台词
Aw, damn it.
该死的
You're you.
你还是你啊
I was having the most amazing dream
我刚刚做了一个超级美的梦
Where you were you,
梦中你还是你
But also you were Janis Joplin.
但同时你又是珍妮丝·乔普林
But now you're just you.
但现在你只是你
You're sexually attracted to Janis Joplin?
珍妮丝·乔普林竟然对你有性吸引力吗
I don't know.
我也不知道
That is kind of concerning.
那确实令人有点担心
Anyway, you, Janis and me,
总之 你 珍妮丝和我
And my year four teacher, Mr. Freer,
以及我四年级时的弗瑞尔老师
were on a road trip.
我们一起在进行公路旅行
- Nope. ‭- What?
-别 -什么啊
- No dreams. ‭- No, that's for other people.
-别说梦 -不 那是针对别人的
My dreams are amazing.
我的梦超赞的
Fine, then you're not allowed to talk about random dogs you see.
好吧 那你也不准说你看到的乱七八糟的狗
What if he's a little cowboy wearing a bandana?
如果它是个系着方巾的小牛仔呢
Right.
好吧
Right. I am gonna go hop in the shower,
好了 我去洗个澡
And then...
然后
It's bloody mary time.
就开始喝血腥玛丽
It's Sunday. Why are you showering?
今天是周日啊 你为什么要洗澡
Uh, still having weird feelings about Janis Joplin.
我现在还是对珍妮丝·乔普林有着奇怪的感觉
Figured I'd go sort them out in there.
估计只能去浴室里解决了
Hey, so, um... you know last night,
那个 昨晚的时候
When you were crying in your car--
你躲在你的车里哭泣
All good now, right?
现在没事了 对吧
Yeah, totally. I'm fine.
是啊 当然了 我没事了
Okay, good. Right, then.
好的 很好
Hakuna matata.
哈库那马他他[不必担心]
Did you just quote the lion king to me?
你这是引用了《狮子王》中的话吗
The lion what?
狮子什么
No, it's a... It's a swahili phrase.
不是 那是句斯瓦西里短语
No, I know th...
不是 我知道...
Are you sure you're not quoting something?
你确定你不是在引用什么吗
Just Khalid,
就卡里德的话
the kabob shop owner in my old neighborhood.
他是我们家那边一个烤肉店的店主
I mean, the phrase doesn't translate easily to english,
那句话不太容易翻译成英语
But it means...
但意思是
That there is not currently a problem.
目前没有问题
So would you say it's a...
所以可以说是...
Problem-free philosophy?
无问题哲学
That's a tad simplistic, but...
那也太过于简单化了 不过...
Okay, so it's like no worries for the rest of your days?
好吧 那意思是余生都不用担心了吗
Oh, Gretchen, Gretchen.
格雷琴啊格雷琴
The east Africans live very much in the moment,
那些东非人注重活在当下
So it's not a guarantee of smooth sailing forever.
所以那并非是对未来一帆风顺的某种保证
That's just childish.
那也太幼稚了
But you know what?
但是话又说回来
If you'd like to be really positive about it, sure.
如果你真的希望它充满积极向上的能量 也行
Hakuna matata, for the rest of your days.
哈库那马他他 余生皆如此
翻译 #Coliver的日常#
翻译 Ethan-泽生
时间轴 阿包 加森
校对 Ethan-泽生 后期 加森
我爱上的人是奇葩第二季 第七集
新浪微博@少年美剧派
You must be Gretchen.
你一定是格雷琴吧
I'm Edgar's friend, Dorothy.
我是埃德加的朋友 多洛希
You know what I was realizing?
你知道我刚刚意识到什么吗
打开微信 扫描左侧二维码或搜索公众号: ustvboom了解最新影视字幕发布信息
We both have really old-timey names.
我们的名字都很老式
Isn't that hilarious?
真好笑啊
It's like, ♪ Dorothy and Gretchen ♪
就像是 ♪多洛希和格雷琴 ♪
♪ Both sipping egg cream ♪
♪ 一起品尝蛋奶♪
♪ Dorothy and Gretchen ♪
♪多洛希和格雷琴 ♪
♪ Hiding a man in a closet. ♪
♪把男人藏在衣柜里♪
Ah, I know you.
我知道你
- Oh, you do? ‭- Yeah. You're a theater girl.
-是吗 -是啊 你是个剧院女
Morning.
早上好
Have you met Dorothy?
你见过多洛希了吗
Oh, yeah, I already made up a song.
见过了 我已经编好一首歌了
♪ Dorothy and Gretchen ♪
♪多洛希和格雷琴 ♪
♪ Both getting stricken by polio. ♪
♪都患了小儿麻痹症 ♪
Yeah, Janis was a no-go.
好吧 珍妮丝没能让我"发射"
Pivoted to Grace Slick at the last second,
最后一刻想到格蕾丝·斯里克才发射出来
So it wasn't a total waste.
所以也不算完全浪费时间
Hi, Jimmy.
嗨 吉米
Jimmy, this is Dorothy.
吉米 这是多洛希
R-remember? From hey, put that down brian?
记得吧 "嘿 记下 布莱恩"喜剧团的
oh, yes!
对哦
Dorothy, of course!
多洛希 当然了
Dorothy. Lovely to see you.
多洛希啊 真高兴见到你
Remember, I was the one that suggested
记得吗 当初是我建议
pet cemetery for that incest scene?
去宠物墓地拍那场乱伦戏的
‭Of course.
当然了
Yes, we've been hanging out lately,
没错 我们最近在约会
So... that's why she's here.
所以 她才会来这里
Great. So...
好极了 那么...
Oh, right. Uh, yes.
对哦 没错
And...
那个...
I'm sorry, I haven't had time to go shopping.
抱歉 我没时间去购物
I'm starving. Let's go to the diner.
我要饿死了 我们去餐厅吧
- Fine. ‭ - That's not gonna happen, guys.
-好吧 -那是不可能的 二位
- What are you talking about? - Don't you know what day it is?
-你在胡说什么呢 -你不知道今天是什么日子吗
Hint--It's the worst driving day in los angeles.
提示 今天是洛杉矶交通最糟糕的日子
Oh, is it sprinkling?
是下小雨了吗
The Christmas parade?
是圣诞大游行吗
Obama's on Kimmel again?
奥巴马又要上《凯莫秀》了吗
The march for the Armenian thing?
亚美尼亚游行示威什么的
Bicycles taking over the street day?
自行车占据街道日
Elmo fight outside the Chinese theater?
中国剧院外发生了人偶大战吗
The marathon is today.
今天是马拉松日
Oh, my god. They still do that?
天啊 这年头还有马拉松啊
Well, I guess we're just gonna have to be stuck here all day.
看来我们只能在这里被困上一整天了
No, we can't be!
不 不会的
We're adults. We can walk!
我们是成年人啊 我们可以走路
Okay.
好吧
What are we, new yorkers?
你当我们是纽约人吗
Oh, fuggedaboutit.
算了啦
Let's walk and get a pizza bagel with mayor Giuliani.
我们走路 去和朱利安尼市长一起吃披萨百吉饼吧
No.
不好
Do you know what, it's fine.
其实 没事啦
We'll just.. take it easy
我们淡定下就好
And, uh, wait this thing out.
等着活动结束吧
I know.
我知道了
Beans on toast.
烘焙豆
Sounds disgusting,
听着很恶心
But on the spectrum of english cooking,
但是在大英帝国食谱上
I would put it up there with cabbage bread and lung pudding.
我觉得它和卷心菜面包及肺形布丁处于同等地位
Edgar, what have you done to the bread bag?
埃德加 你把这面包袋怎么了
Oh, that was probably the mouse.
那应该是老鼠咬的
The mouse? What mouse?! We have a mouse?!
老鼠 什么老鼠 家里竟然有老鼠吗
I think he lives in the laundry room.
我觉得它住在洗衣房里
No, the-the garage.
不 是在车库里
He made a-a little nest out of Jimmy's unsold books.
他在吉米没卖出去的书上做了个小窝
Sorry, let me get this straight.
不好意思 我把情况理清楚一下
We have a mouse crawling through the food that we ingest,
家里有老鼠爬过我们吃的东西
And not only do you two know about it,
你们两个不仅知道这事
But you're absolutely unbothered?
而且还觉得无所谓吗
He's kind of cute.
它还挺萌的
Yeah, if he's not bothering anyone,
就是啊 如果它没妨碍到谁
who cares that he's here?
谁在意它在这里啊
I do! Me!
我在意 我
The person in whose house you all live,
你们可都是住在我家里
Which now, apparently, includes vermin!
现在 四害之一也住进来了
Right, breakfast is canceled,
好了 早餐取消
Because due to your staggering apathy
因为你们那令人震惊的
About living with the actual cause of the plague itself,
对瘟疫之源的冷漠 竟不介意与之同居
I will be busy evicting this mouse!
我得忙着除掉那只老鼠了
I'll help.
我来帮忙
You sure you're okay?
你确定你没事吗
Yeah. I'm amazing.
当然了 我好得很
You guys have fun.
你们玩得开心点
Dancing to no music.
没有音乐翩翩起舞
Oh, no!
不要啊
It's really cool of you to let Dorothy crash here.
你人可真好 愿意让多洛希暂住在这里
Oh, yeah, thanks for reminding me.
对哦 谢谢你提醒我这一点
I was too upset about the mouse to properly yell.
我刚刚被那只老鼠气昏了头
In what world is a freeloader
一个本身就是吃白食的人
Allowed to invite someone else to stay?
怎么会有权利邀请别人过来一起住啊
That'd be like Kato Kaelin
那就像是凯托·凯林
凯托曾借居在OJ·辛普森家里是其杀妻案的重要证人之一
inviting someone to live in an even tinier little guest house.
邀请别人住进一个更小的客房里
So what do you think of Dorothy?
你觉得多洛希怎么样
Why would you care what people think of your girlfriend?
你为什么要在意别人对你女朋友的看法啊
Gretchen's a lunatic of whom I should be profoundly ashamed,
格雷琴就是个疯子 我本该深深以她为耻
and yet I'm not.
但我并没有
That maniac goes out in the middle of the night to cry in her car,
那个疯子大半夜地跑出去 躲在车里哭泣
and I'm like, "Live and let live."
我的应对方法是 随她去 不干扰
That's where she's been going?
她出去是干那事吗
Yeah, ap-apparently, it's sort of her thing.
是啊 显然 那是她的习惯
Whatever. Hakuna matata.
随便吧 哈库那马他他
Ah, no worries.
"不用担心"
Yeah, it's slightly more nuanced than that,
好吧 具体意思跟这有细微差别
But, yeah, essentially.
不过本质上差不多
Um, are we gonna stop doing this at some point?
我们跳着还停吗
- I got shin issues. - Don't know.
-我的胫骨有点问题 -不知道
- Hey, you want to do an avocadon't? - ‭Nope.
-嘿 你想玩"鳄梨布"吗 -不想
- It's this dumb thing I do on vine. - Nope!
-那是我在Vine上干的一件傻事儿 -不听
My most popular one is where I try to breast-feed one
我最受欢迎的一段 是我试图来个母乳喂养
And then I burp it
然后我打了个嗝
- and guacamole flies everywhere. -Nope!
-鳄梨色拉酱飞得到处都是 -不听
I'm gonna go grab an avocado.
我去拿个鳄梨来
- I brought a bunch in my bag. - ‭Nope, no, no, no!
-我包里带了一些来 -不 不 不要
Lindsay! Thank god! ‭
琳赛 谢天谢地
We're dancing! ‭
我们来跳舞吧
Oh, my god, Gretch,
天啊 格雷琴
It is literally 'nam out there.
外面真是太疯狂了
There was so much traffic,
好多的车啊
I got through three whole episodes of the just farts podcast,
我看完了整整3集的放屁播客
and then I got to the thing,
然后 我遇到了那玩意儿
and they wouldn't let me through the people,
他们不让我从人群中通过
So I abandoned my car and walked past the people
所以我抛弃了自己的车 穿过了人群
And they yelled at me.
他们竟然吼我
And then some Asian boy gave me a cup of gatorade,
然后某个亚洲小子给了我一杯佳得乐
which was weird.
那很古怪
And then I walked all the way here, uphill.
然后我一路爬上山 来到这里
And then I died. I'm dead.
然后我就死了 我已经死透了
- Talking about the marathon? - I guess.
-你是在说马拉松吗 -是吧
Whatever. I just had to get out of Becca's stupid house.
随便吧 我必须逃离贝卡那该死的家里
She makes me put the seat down when I pee.
她强迫我撒尿时放下马桶垫
What are you doing at Becca's house?
你怎么会住进贝卡家里
Gretch, you are really out of the loop these days.
格雷琴 你这些天真的很跟不上情况啊
I'm staying there because I don't have any power,
我住她家是因为我家里没电了
But Becca's driving me insane
但是贝卡快把我逼疯了
With "Baby" This and "Her bump" That.
整天说什么宝宝 什么大肚子什么的
Also, Vernon honked my boob.
并且 弗南捏了我的奶子
Oh, my god, is that your real voice?
天啊 你真正的声音就是这样吗
Who's the rando?
这路人谁啊
Don't know. Theater girl.
不知道 剧院女
She was here when I woke up.
我醒来时她就在这儿了
Lindsay!
琳赛
Did you meet Dorothy?
你见过多洛希了吗
She's crashing with me for a while.
她暂时跟我住一段时间
- What? - ‭Uh, yeah.
-什么 -没错
Anyway, you guys would probably like each other a lot.
话说 你们应该会很喜欢对方的
You both like naps.
你们都喜欢睡觉
Dorothy, tell Lindsay about that nap you took the other day.
多洛希 跟琳赛说说你那天睡的小觉吧
I napped in a sunbeam.
我在阳光下睡了一觉
See? Anyway, I'm gonna go get Jimmy some gloves.
瞧吧 我得去拿些手套给吉米了
It's, uh, it's not going well.
事情 进展不顺利
You guys, traffic is banonkers.
各位 交通情况太糟糕了
I had to ditch the beemer and hoof it up here.
我不得不抛弃宝马 走来这里
Do you know your car is parked in the middle of alvarado?
你知道你的车停在阿尔瓦多路中间吗
I could tell it was yours from the wine bottle in the cup holder.
我从那个杯架上的酒瓶就看出来是你的
- Who's the rando? - Oh, Dorothy.
-这路人谁啊 -多洛希
I have a patient named Dorothy. She's 92.
我也有个病人叫多洛希 92岁了
Oh, shit. I forgot. She died last week.
该死 我忘了 她上周死了
Osteoporos. Her entire skeleton basically liquefied.
骨质疏松症 她整个骨骼都几乎液化了
Girls, drink your milk.
姑娘们 记得喝牛奶
And 1.3% of men.
1.3%的男人也一样
I need to talk to you, solamente.
我需要跟你单独谈谈
Come on, theater girl!
来吧 剧院女
5 6 7 8 And five and six and seven and eight!
Bed booze! Why didn't I think of that?
床边酒 我怎么没想到这个好主意呢
What do you want, Vernon?
你找我什么事 弗南
Please don't tell Becca what happened in the man cave last night.
求你别告诉贝卡昨晚在男人窝发生的事
Oh, that? Whatever. It felt good.
那事啊 随便吧 感觉很好
- I won't tell. ‭- Really? Okay.
-我不会说的 -真的吗 好吧
Shit, you are one chill lady.
靠 你真是个酷女
That is a relief. I just...
让我松了口气 我只是...
- Feel so lonely lately. - I said I won't tell.
-最近觉得好寂寞 -我说了我不会说的
Bec and I used to have so much fun, but when I come home now,
贝卡以前和我特别开心 但现在我下班回家后
I can never win, 'cause she's talking about
我一点话语权都没有 她一直不停地说什么
how she's harnessing the very power of life itself,
她现在在孕育新生命什么的
So who gives a crap if I just made it so some old biddy
谁他妈在乎我做成了手术 那样某个老妇人
Will be able to plant bulbs next spring?
明年春天就能种菜了
And really, let's be honest,
并且 说实话
Bec is just milking this shit
贝卡整天说些乱七八糟的
So she can be a 24/7 snack monster and jabba all over the place.
就是为了一刻不停地狂吃零食
She won't even let me do her anymore
她甚至都不让我上她了
'cause she's afraid the baby might come out wack. Shit!
因为她担心会生个古怪的宝宝出来 妈的
I don't want some wack-ass baby, but I have needs.
我也不想生个怪胎 但我也有需求啊
Anyway, I appreciate your staying discreet.
总之 我很感激你守口如瓶
- I promise. - Okay, cool. You want me to give you some money?
-我保证 -好的 你需要我给一些钱吗
- What? ‭- Just... Take some cash.
-什么 -就 拿走一些钱吧
It'll make me feel better.
那会让我感觉好受点
Okay. That feels really good.
好的 感觉真的好极了
I mean, It feels good to get that stuff off my chest.
我是说 把这些话说出来舒服多了
Why are we dancing?
我们为什么要跳舞啊
Gretchen's doing it.
因为格雷琴在跳
It's your boy trace on fire, 103!
音乐频道又来啦
We got Honey nutz and S-stain
接下来是蜜蛋和施斯坦
With a response to Sam Dresden's dis track.
回应山姆·德雷斯顿的歌曲
This is "Phony hawk."
这首歌叫《伪君子》
Yeah, these are my boys!
好棒 是我手下的艺人哟
Oh, I'm a P.R. Genius.
我真是个公关天才
- So the feud's working? ‭- Yeah!
-所以撕逼大战的方法奏效了吗 -是啊
Maybe a little too well.
或许有效过头了
Jesus, these lyrics are mean!
天啊 这些歌词太刻薄了
Sam's so gonna fire me.
山姆一定会炒掉我的
Whatever. Jobs are dumb.
随便吧 工作太无聊了
Hakuna matata!
哈库那马他他
So, what do you think of Dorothy?
你觉得多洛希怎么样
Pretty great, huh?
很棒 对吧
She a'ight.
她还行啦
Where's the mouse?!
老鼠在哪儿
It ran in here!
它跑进来了
Hello?
Why is no one helping me catch this mouse?
为什么没人帮我抓那只老鼠
You need a mouse?
你要老鼠吗
Shit, we got, like, hundreds of them in the lab at work;
靠 我们的实验室里有几百只呢
I'll jack you all the mice you need.
你想要多少 我都能给你搞到
You're all just dancing,
你们都在跳舞
Like some uncoordinated doomsday cult,
就跟某个不协调的末日邪教徒一样
While vermin run around unchecked.
而四害之一却在到处乱跑
And why are Vernon and Lindsay here?
弗南和琳赛又怎么会在这里
Right?
对吧
I ran through the people.
我一路穿过人群走过来的
Please, will everyone be quiet for one goddamn minute!
行了 请所有人闭嘴 安静一会儿
I think it's under the fridge.
我觉得它躲到冰箱下面去了
Gretchen, why don't you come help me.
格雷琴 不如你来帮我吧
Comin' at ya!
马上就来
Hummus?
鹰嘴豆泥要吗
No.
不要
Hold this.
拿着这个
So, what's up with you?
话说 你是怎么了
Taking apart a fridge, looking for a mouse.
拆冰箱 找老鼠
Buy why? Is it fun?
但是为什么呢 这很好玩吗
Why is this mouse such a big deal?
为什么要这么在意那只老鼠啊
I just want to catch the mouse.
我只是想抓住那只老鼠
There's no greater significance to it.
并没有什么重大意义
My childhood home had mice.
我儿时的家里也有老鼠
I thought nothing of it.
我原来也毫不在意
One day, my mate Daniel spent the night,
有一天 我的好朋友丹尼尔去我家过夜
And he woke up to a mouse chewing on his nipple.
他醒来发现一只老鼠在啃他的乳头
‭From then on,
从那以后
Everybody called me mouse boy.
大家都叫我"鼠仔"
My dad, even-- and it was his disgusting house.
甚至我爸也这么叫 那可是他恶心的屋子啊
See, that's the thing about my father...
我爸就是这么一个人
Oh, god.
天啊
So then, in the next scene,
然后 在接下来的一幕中
Dorothy switched from playing the pet shop owner
多洛希就从宠物店店主的角色
To being one of the cats,
转变成演其中一只猫
And she coughed up a giant hairball.
她咳出了一个巨大的毛团
It was so gross.
真是超恶心的
Oh, my god, that's hilarious!
天啊 那一幕太搞笑了
Hey, Dorothy, you got to teach me something.
嘿 多洛希 你得教教我
I bet I'd be real good at improv.
我敢说我一定很擅长即兴喜剧
I once made a patient laugh so hard,
我曾经把一个病人逗得大笑不止
She peed all over the table.
真的就笑尿了
I mean, she was 89,
她已经89岁高龄了
And her pelvic floor was wack, but...
她的骨盆底很古怪 但是...
Sure, okay.
好啊
Um, we could start with a simple mirroring exercise.
我们可以先从镜像练习开始
So, pretend that you're my reflection.
现在 假装你是我在镜中反射的像
Okay.
好了
No, mirror me.
不对 模仿我
Can't fool me-- everything's backwards in a mirror.
你骗不到我的 任何东西在镜子中都是反的
Eh, okay, um...
好吧...
Are you mad at me?
你是生我的气了吗
No. Why?
没有 为什么
I just feel like we had a connection...
我只是觉得 我们很有感情
That was fun and exciting.
那很有趣 也很令人激动
You know? Like...
你明白吗 就像是...
New and different and full of possibilities,
全新的 与众不同的 充满各种可能
And now you're so busy.
但现在你这么忙
I miss you.
我想你了
You should come hang out with me and Dorothy sometime.
你该多来找我和多洛希一起玩
But I'm doing it like in a mirror.
但我就是像在镜中那样啊
Rando.
路人
I feel like you're trying to trick me.
我觉得你是故意想戏弄我
- I absolutely am not. - This is boring.
-我绝对没有 -这太无聊了
I want to do a scene where I get to be hilarious
我想演的是一个特别搞笑的角色
And talk in a funny voice. Or be a lady.
说话声音怪怪的 或者反串女人
Hey, you want to do an avocadon't with me?
嘿 你想跟我玩"鳄梨布"吗
Hell yeah. What is that,
好啊 那是什么
Like, things not to do with an avocado?
别用鳄梨做的事吗
Yes, actually.
没错 真是呢
I'll be right back.
我马上就回来
Listen, rando, slow your roll.
听着 路人 你给我打住
Oh, my god, is this about Edgar?
天啊 是因为埃德加吗
I am so sorry. I had no idea that you guys were a thing.
我真抱歉 我都不知道你们两个是一对儿呢
Because he has literally never mentioned you.
因为他真的完全没提过你
Well, he's kind of my backup side bitch,
他一直都是我的备胎
And he likes it.
他也喜欢那样
So maybe just, like, respect that. 'kay?
所以请你尊重这一点 好吗
Goddamn it, I heard it in here!
该死的 我明明听见它在里面了
Maybe you should summon it with your mouse boy powers.
或许你该用你的鼠仔超能力召唤它
How much have you been drinking?
你是喝了多少酒啊
I don't know, like, seven?
我也不知道 大概7瓶吧
What is going on with you?!
你到底是什么情况啊
The only thing going on with me
我唯一的情况就是
is I am trying to make due being stuck in this house,
我在竭尽全力应对被困在这屋子里的事
And you're obsessed with this stupid mouse!
你却一心想着那只该死的老鼠
I know, let's do shots.
我知道了 来干杯吧
Oh, my god, we're out of booze.
天啊 酒都喝完了
Good. I think you've had enough.
好极了 我觉得你也喝够了
You've had enough. Edgar!
你才是够了 埃德加
Edgar! We're out of booze.
埃德加 家里没酒了
We'll make a run later.
我们晚些时候再去买
M-maybe Jimmy's right.
或许吉米说得对
Relax.
淡定
Relax? Says the guy so riddled with anxiety
淡定 你一个焦虑缠身的人还有脸说我
He can't sleep through the night without screaming!
你每天半夜都要尖叫 才能度过一晚上
Yes, well, uh, we all know
是的 没错 我们都知道
That I'm taking the prescribed steps to overcome
我正在遵照医嘱来克服
The very common issues caused by combat situations.
战场引起的一些常见问题
We know. You were in a war.
我们都知道 你参加过战争
Get over it!
忘了那事吧
And while you're at it, get over Lindsay.
忘那事的时候 也顺便忘了琳赛吧
Have enough self-respect not to focus on someone
自重点 别把心思放在她身上
Who's still clearly obsessed with her lame, soft ex-husband.
她显然还爱着她那差劲的软蛋前夫
This is really hard for me.
我真的过得很艰难
My husband left me for a female him,
我丈夫为一个女版的他自己抛弃了我
And now I can't function in life. Waah!"
现在我连日子都不会过了 呜呜呜
Oh, and you!
而你呢
Theater girl!
剧院女
- Yes? - ‭Improv is the lowest form of comedy.
-怎么了 -即兴喜剧是最低级的喜剧形式
That whole school of yours is just a bunch of actors so janky-looking
你那整个学院 都是一群歪瓜裂枣的演员
No one will write lines for them,
没人愿意为他们写台词
So you have to make them up yourself.
所以你们不得不自编台词
- Aw, shit. - ‭You're what this town calls a tweener.
-我靠 -你就是这里的人口中的"异类"
You're not hot enough to be the lead,
当主角吧 不够性感
And not fat enough to be the funny friend.
当个幽默的朋友吧 又不够肥
You already did me!
你已经吐槽过我了
Do me, do me.
来吐槽我 吐槽我
- Not worth it. - Aw, man.
-不值得 -别这么伤人啊
Look, as spectacularly entertaining as this is,
听着 尽管这超级无敌逗
Maybe you should take a breather.
或许你该歇歇了
And then there's Jimmy.
还有吉米
Aw, shit.
糟糕
No, seriously,
不 说真的
Jimmy, I feel such empathy for you,
吉米 我真的很同情你
Being a writer.
当个作家
I mean, everyone feels sorry for kids
大家都很同情那些被迫
forced to work in the diamond mines in Sierra Leone,
在塞拉利昂的钻石矿里工作的孩子
but where is the telethon for the noble writer?
但是对于大作家的关注在哪里
Bravely drinking coffee,
猛喝咖啡
Spilling his blood to get his feelings out,
为了写出真情实感几乎吐血
Filling two, maybe three whole pages
写出两页 或者三页
Before his heroic effort
然后他的灵感和动力
Is cut short by the desire to watch internet porn
就被想看色情片的欲望给取代了
Or get a snack!
或是想吃零食
All of you!
你们所有人
Sucking the air out of the room
用你们自怜的 不是问题的问题
With your self-pity-riddled non-problems!
把这屋里的氧气都吸干了
Except you, Vernon. You got real issues.
除了你 弗南 你是真的遇上大问题了
You're married to Becca.
毕竟你娶了贝卡
Ha! Vernon, ya burnt!
哈 弗南 你完蛋了
This place is an emotional black hole,
这地方 就是个情感黑洞
And if it wasn't for the runners--
如果不是因为那些跑步的人
Yes, they have a name,
没错 他们是有名字的
They're not just "The people," You giant doofus--
他们不是就叫"人群" 你个大蠢货
I would be driving as fast as I could away from you all!
我一定开着车 以闪电般的速度逃离你们
But I can't! Because apparently,
但我不能 因为显然
I live here now,
我现在住在这里
due to completely-beyond-my-control wiring issues
都是因为我家电线失控引发的火灾
for which there will be a lawsuit.
老娘一定会告死他们的
Yes! There will be a lawsuit!
没错 我一定会告上法庭的
There will be no lawsuit.
我不会告上法庭的
- Mouse. - ‭We know!
-老鼠 -我们都知道
Mouse, mouse! We get it, Jimmy.
老鼠 老鼠 我们都知道了 吉米
No. The mouse!
不是 老鼠出来了
It's back, isn't it?
你的病又复发了 是吧
It's gonna be like sophomore year
就跟你大二那年一样
when you wore the same Hoobastank T-shirt three weeks in a row
你把一件"好把戏乐队"的T恤连着穿了三周
and only ate Special K Red Berries?
而且只吃特K牌红莓
Are you gonna tell Jimmy?
你会告诉吉米吗
No. I can't tell him my brain is broken.
不会 我不能告诉他我的脑子出问题了
Gretchen, you have never
格雷琴 你在任何人身边
been this much your disgusting self around anyone.
都没有过如此恶心的样子
I would have killed to let Paul
我现在回想 真的很愿意让保罗
in on all my gross secrets,
知道我所有恶心的秘密
but I was too ashamed of them.
但我之前真的太以那些秘密为耻了
Like how I like to drink soy sauce.
比如 我很喜欢喝酱油
Or how I once sucked Malcolm-Jamal Warner's dick at Barney's beanery.
以及我曾在巴尼餐厅给马尔科姆·杰玛·华纳口交过
Lindsay...
琳赛
If anyone's gonna be okay with who you are, it's Jimmy.
如果说有谁能接受真实的你 那就是吉米了
You guys went into this both knowing you're total creeps,
你们明知道双方都是奇葩 还走在了一起
so don't start keeping secrets now.
所以别从现在开始保守秘密
Wear your stains on the outsides of your clothes, Gretch.
把你的问题显露出来 格雷琴
Tell him.
告诉他
I can't.
我不能说
I think his leg is broken.
我觉得它的腿断了
We have to put it out of its misery.
我们得结束它的痛苦
You want me to throw it in the neighbor's yard?
你想让我把它扔进邻居家的院子里吗
They got a couple of hyper corgis.
他们家有几只狗呢
No, we should give him a Viking funeral in the reservoir.
不 我们该在蓄水池里给它办场维京式葬礼
I'll just squash it.
我直接踩碎它算了
- No! - Jesus.
-不要 -天啊
No.
不要
As much as I hate mice and everything they represent,
尽管我很憎恶老鼠 以及它们所代表的一切
this one put up a good fight.
这一只进行了艰苦卓绝的抵抗
It deserves to die as humanely as possible.
它该尽量享受人道主义的死亡方式
飞向天堂的火箭
Do you want to improvise a eulogy?
你想即兴说一段悼词吗
I'm afraid even though this speech is a little cheesy,
尽管我觉得这段演讲会有些低劣[乳酪]
Muenster是一种乳酪谐音"Must--必须"
I Muenster continue.
我也必须继续
Gouda day, little guy.
安息吧 小家伙
Goddamn it, she's good.
该死的 她好厉害
So...
那个...
I have a confession to make: I have been drinking all day.
我必须坦白一件事 我已经喝了一天的酒了
But this is me apologizing to you all...
但是 这是我向大家集体道歉
I-Is the mouse in that box?
那个盒子里是只老鼠吗
Rocket ship to Heaven.
飞向天堂的火箭
How did we barely even hang today?
我们今天几乎都没在一起玩呢
I'm about to start my annual Arliss re-watch.
我马上要开始每年一度的重看《亚里斯》活动了
You in?
你加入吗
I'll FaceTime you.
我会用视频联系你的
I don't think your friends like me very much.
我觉得你的朋友们不怎么喜欢我
What?! Of course they do.
什么 他们当然喜欢了啊
The only nice one was that loud ginger dude.
唯一比较和善的就是那个声音很大的红发男
He isn't really a doctor, is he?
他并非真的是个医生 对吧
I-I like you.
我喜欢你
That's that.
好了
As Khalid always says, "The circle of life."
如同卡里德常说的 "生命的循环"
Hey, do you want to get out of here?
嘿 你想出去吗
The marathon should be over.
马拉松应该跑完了
I mean, by this time, there's still always, like,
到这个时候 当然还是会有一些人 比如
a blind guy or a torso in the wheelchair,
某个瞎子 或是肢体残缺坐轮椅的人
but they keep them to one lane.
但他们只会占据一条车道
It's okay.
没事的
The-the torsos usually have, like, really devoted dads
那些残疾人的老爸 一般都很关心他们
who... push-push them.
在后面推他们
What's going on with you?
你到底是怎么了
Okay.
好吧
So, here's an interesting thing that you don't know about me.
接下来我要说一件关于我的你不知道的趣事
I am clinically depressed.
我是确诊过的抑郁症患者
It's been going on my whole life,
那病已经缠着我一辈子了
so I'm actually really good at handling it.
所以我很擅长控制它
Uh, it strikes me whenever, and I have no idea why.
但偶尔就会复发 我也不知道为什么
But it's fine. I'm sorry I never told you.
但是没事啦 我很抱歉一直没告诉你
Slipped my mind.
我给忘了
And who knows,
谁知道呢
with the right attitude,
只要用正确的态度应对
this could be a really fun adventure for everyone.
这对大家来说都可能是一段奇妙的冒险历程
So the only thing I need from you is to not make a big deal of it,
我唯一需要你做的 就是别大惊小怪
and be okay with how I am, and the fact that you can't fix me.
接受真实的我 以及你无法治好我这个事实
Can't I, though?
我真的不能吗
I got that mouse.
我可是抓住了那只老鼠啊