摩登家庭 第七季 Modern Family Season 7 第1集: 夏日恋爱 Summer Lovin'

上映日期: 2,015

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧

导演: James Alan Hensz

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·


台词
五月
Haley, your dad's on the phone.
海莉 你爸爸打电话来了
He says it's urgent.
他说很紧急
- He's with a surgeon? - I think he said "sturgeon."
-他跟"外科医生"吗 -我觉得他说的是"鲟鱼"
Cam, is it "surgeon" or "sturgeon"?
小卡 你说的是"外科医生"还是"鲟鱼"
I am ripping these stupid braces off the second I get home.
我一回家就要把这该死的牙箍摘掉
Phil, hold on. I'm gonna put you on speakerphone, okay?
菲尔 别挂 我开免提 好吗
Andy's on his way to propose to Beth!
安迪要去跟贝丝求婚了
We can't hear anything!
我们什么都听不到
Just toss me the phone.
把电话扔给我吧
- No! No, no. - No, you're right.
-别别别 -你说得对
We all have our strengths. I'm a great gift giver.
我们都有自己的强项 我擅长送礼
Here, Cam.
扔过来 小卡
- Dad? - Haley, Andy's on his way to propose to Beth!
-老爸 -海莉 安迪要去跟贝丝求婚了
- That's very sweet! - It's not sweet!
-那好棒呀 -一点也不棒
Haley and Andy love each other, but they don't know it!
海莉和安迪彼此相爱 但他们却不知道
Is that true, honey?
是吗 亲爱的
Dad, what makes you think he's in love with me?
老爸 你凭什么觉得他爱上我了
I could tell by the way he hugged you goodbye.
我看他跟你拥抱道别的样子就知道了
Phil, are you sure about this?
菲尔 你确定吗
Claire, I think I know the look of love in another man's eyes.
克莱尔 我看得出男人眼里充满爱的模样
This is crazy. Should I call him?
太夸张了 我该给他打电话吗
His phone's off, but he said he was going to the beach.
他的手机关机了 但他说他要去沙滩
I know what beach he likes.
我知道他喜欢哪个沙滩
I thought you were the "Beach" he likes.
我以为你就是他喜欢的"沙滩"[妞]
Oh, God, there they are.
天啊 他们在那里
Should I do this? I shouldn't do this.
我该过去吗 我不该过去
I'm gonna do this.
我过去了
W-- honey, honey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
什...亲爱的 亲爱的 等等 等等
You got to be really sure of this.
你必须百分百确定才行
You're gonna go over there and break them up for what?
你过去拆散他们是为了什么
To hang out or to date until the next guy comes along?
就为了跟他瞎玩玩 直到下一个人出现吗
Who knows? But shouldn't we get a chance to find out what we are?
谁知道 但我们难道不该试试是否是真爱吗
I'm just saying look down the road a little.
我只是说你要看长远一点
You're 21, and that looks like a guy
你才21岁 而那个家伙看样子
who is ready to settle down.
已经准备好安定下来了
- Yeah. - Well, um...
-是啊 -好吧...
I guess it's decided for me.
看来他已经替我做好了决定
I feel like such an idiot.
我觉得自己真是个傻瓜
No. Honey, no, no, no, no, no.
不 亲爱的 不不不
You have nothing to be ashamed of.
你没什么好羞耻的
Oh, God! Here they come! Hide!
天啊 他们来了 快藏起来
Just --
就...
家 庭
摩 登
第七季 第一集
六月
Oh, God.
天啊
Daddy looks tense.
小爸看起来好紧绷
He's just paying bills.
他只是要付账单了
Is everything okay, honey?
还好吗 亲爱的
Oh, you walked over here.
你走过来的呀
I just thought you Uber-ed everywhere.
我还以为你上哪儿都打优步呢
- Okay. - Okay, I got to breathe.
-好吧 -好吧 我得呼吸一下
That's still free, isn't it?
这还是免费的吧
Mitchell, it's not that bad.
米奇尔 没那么糟啦
Really? Because I haven't worked in weeks.
真的吗 因为我好几周没工作了
I have no prospects.
前途渺茫
We're living off of a gym teacher's salary,
我们靠着一个体育老师的工资生活
And -- and somehow I let you
然后我还不知道哪根筋搭错了
talk me into buying the apartment upstairs.
被你说服买下了楼上的房子
What's going on? Are we poor?
这是什么情况 我们变穷人了吗
No, while other daddy looks for a job,
不 但你小爸在找工作的期间
I'm gonna be taking on some work
我决定去当
as a summertime driver's ed teacher.
暑期驾驶教练
How much can that pay?
那能挣多少钱
Every little bit helps.
聚沙成塔
And besides, Mitchell, before you know it,
而且 米奇尔 在你意识过来前
you're gonna be back in a stuffy office
你很快就会回到一间无聊的办公室
with some stuffy lawyers,
跟一群无聊的律师在一起
wishing you had taken advantage of this time.
后悔自己没有好好利用这段时间
Am I right?
我说得对吗
Well, that doesn't not sound like me.
听起来倒很像我
Exactly, so why don't you take this chance...
没错 所以你为什么不利用这次机会
...to do something fun, find a hobby?
做点好玩的事情 找个爱好呢
You know, every time we go to a gallery, you always say,
每次我们去美术馆 你总会说
"I could paint something that stupid."
"这么蠢的东西我也会画啊"
Well, prove it.
那就证明一下吧
You know what? I have. I've always wanted to paint.
其实还真是 我一直很想画画
And the place upstairs is gonna be a rental gold mine --
我们楼上的屋子也肯定很多人会抢着租
Once we paint it, we furnish it, we fix the electric,
只等我们刷上漆 配上家具 修好电路
redo the plumbing,
重新铺好水管
and figure out why that brown spot won't stop growing.
搞清楚那块棕色斑点为何还在变大就行
It's growing?
它还长大了吗
Did you two really just waste your entire day quilting?
你们俩浪费了一整天缝花被子吗
We had a wonderful time, didn't we, sweetie?
我们玩得很开心啊 是吧 亲爱的
I'm not crying anymore.
我没有再哭了
To help get her mind off of Andy,
为了让她停止想安迪
Haley and I have been making a quilt
海莉和我在做一件花被子
out of all her old clothes...
用的是她的旧衣服...
and some stuff I need Phil to stop wearing.
和一些我不想让菲尔再穿的东西
Oh, cool. That square is the same pattern as my kangol hat.
酷 那块方形跟我的袋鼠牌帽子花纹一样
Can you believe how gorgeous it is outside?
你们知道外面有多美吗
And now it's gorgeous inside.
现在里面也很美
Because you're inside. Was that clear?
因为你在里面 我表达清楚吗
Hey, do you want to go quiz me on the periodic table?
你想来考考我元素周期表吗
Oxygen potassium.
氧钾
He used the elements to say "Okay."
他用这两个元素说"OK"
Well, that was fun for me.
看完之后特"开心"啊
Mom, can we drink now?
妈 我们可以现在喝酒吗
Honey, it's lunchtime.
亲爱的 现在是午餐时间
That's a "Yes."
那就是说行
Why do I feel like you're enjoying this?
我为什么觉得你很享受
- What? - Sad Haley needs her mommy again.
-什么 -伤心的海莉又需要她妈妈了
That's ridiculous.
真荒唐
I'm just helping her channel her broken heart
我只是在帮她化心碎为力量
into something more positive.
改去做一些积极的事
Please, that's the saddest blanket
拜托 那是自艾滋病被子之后
为提高人们对艾滋病的意识民众所做的艾滋病纪念花被子
since the AIDS quilt.
最悲哀的一块花被子了
Haley's wallowing in self-pity, and you're feeding off of it.
海莉沉溺于自怜之中 而你以此为生
You don't know what you're talking about.
你不知道自己在说什么
Mom, I'm just gonna go take a nap.
妈妈 我要去午睡了
Oh, sweetheart, do you want me to snuggle with you
亲爱的 你想让我抱着你
till you fall asleep?
陪你睡着吗
Okay, that's it. Pity party's over.
够了 失恋派对结束了
Time for some Dunphy fun. We are going to the movies.
该来点邓菲家的娱乐了 我们去看电影
When was the last time you showered?
你上次洗澡是什么时候
What day is it?
今天是几号
We will wait.
我们等你
I know you can't tell me, but that B. Willis jungle gym --
我知道你不能告诉我 但那个B·威利斯攀爬架
That's Bruce Willis, right?
是演员布鲁斯·威利斯对吗
His kid goes here?
他的孩子们也在这上学吗
Well, we do pride ourselves on privacy here at Davenport,
本校以保密而著称
but, uh, you may have a "Sixth Sense" about this.
但你的"灵异第六感"很准哦[布鲁斯的电影]
I'll be damned.
太棒了
He looks like the kind of guy
他看起来像是那种
you want to have a beer with, you know?
你想跟他来杯啤酒的人
We have one educator for every four children --
我们给每四个小孩配备一个老师
I have a question.
我有个问题
Uh, I attend high school with one of your graduates,
我跟你们这里的一个毕业生是高中同学
a Theodore Durkas.
他叫西欧多尔·德卡斯
Did you turn him into a monster, or was he always like that?
是你把他教成了禽兽 还是他从小如此
I actually remember Teddy Durkas.
我还真记得泰迪·德卡斯
He was a lovely boy.
他是个可爱的小男孩
I'll give him your regards
下次他把我的乳头掐紫时
next time he's making one of my nurples purple.
我会替你问候他的
Ay, Joe, what did you do?!
乔 你做了什么
Oh, it's not his fault.
不是他的错
These cubbies were donated by a former parent
这些柜子是之前一个家长捐的
who fancied himself a carpenter.
他觉得自己是个木匠
I can't say who, but it is ironic
我不能说是谁 但是这很讽刺
that he couldn't use a hammer, and now we "Can't touch this."
他不懂怎么用铁锤 我们也"不能碰这个"了
歌手MC铁锤 有过著名歌曲"不能碰这个"
You keep saying you can't say, and then you say.
你一直说你不能说 然后你又说出来了
It's just nice to talk to adults.
难得能跟成年人说话太幸福了嘛
We're sold. You want Joe? He's yours.
我们愿意了 你想要乔吗 他归你们了
It was very smart of you to get a jump on next year.
你们真是太聪明了 提前预定明年
Next year? What -- what about this year?
明年 今年呢
We enroll at least a year out.
我们这里注册起码排到隔年
And even then, there's a significant waiting list.
就算是提早 等待名单也超长
- You're kidding. - I'm sorry, Mr. Pritchett.
-你开玩笑吧 -抱歉 普里契特先生
You could try the Learnin' Barn.
你可以去学习谷仓看看啊
Ah, yes. That sounds very nice.
听起来不错
The Learnin' Barn sounds nice?
学习谷仓听起来不错吗
Yes, in my village, only the richest kids
是啊 在我的村子里 只有富裕的孩子
were allowed to learn inside the barn.
才能在谷仓里学习
Hope you guys like dinosaurs.
希望你们喜欢恐龙
I got us tickets to "The second best exotic Marigold hotel."
我给我们买了《涉外大饭店2》的票
I know you're kidding,
我知道你在开玩笑
but I found the first one incredibly moving.
但是我觉得第一部超感人
I never realized how many people hold hands in malls.
我从没意识到商场里有多少人牵着手
And now that gays are legal or whatever,
现在同性恋合法了
it's basically everyone.
基本上所有人都牵着手
Honey, I'll hold your hand. Come here.
亲爱的 我来牵着你的手 来吧
Is that Dylan?
那是迪兰吗
No. No, that's -- that's definitely not Dylan.
不 那绝对不是迪兰
Dylan!
迪兰
Hello, Dunphy family!
好啊 邓菲一家
What the what?
真巧啊
How you doing, buddy?
你好吗 孩子
Life's a roller coaster, but I'm tall enough to ride.
生活是一辆过山车 但我够高了 可以乘坐
True dat.
同意
Haley, you look as yummy as ever.
海莉 你看起来一如既往的美丽
Thanks. What's going on?
谢谢 你在忙什么呢
So, I'm designing t-shirts now,
我现在在设计T恤
and I'm trying to get the stores to sell them.
想说服商店卖我的T恤
I'm wearing one.
我穿的就是呢
- "Lie"? - "Live."
-撒谎吗 -是生活
The neck is the "V."
V领也代表一个字母
Game changer.
跨时代创意啊
Yeah, and I've got all these great "V" words.
是啊 我还有很多很棒的带V的词语
"Love," "Dove" --
爱情 鸽子
- Leave. - ..."Governor."
-走开 -州长
That is such a cool idea.
这主意真棒
It's so good to see you.
真高兴见到你
Do you want to get some coffee sometime?
你想抽空喝杯咖啡吗
I'm not doing anything right now.
我现在就没事啊
Movie.
看电影呢
Nice try, but not all "V" words work, Mrs. D.
不错 但不是所有带V的词都有用 邓太太
Have fun, you two.
你俩玩得开心哦
"Dylan!"
你迪什么迪啊
七月
Mitchell, are you aware our daughter's eating a ketchup sandwich?
米奇尔 你知道我们女儿在吃蕃茄酱三明治吗
Good, she found something.
真好 她找到吃的了
So, you didn't go grocery shopping today.
你今天没去买菜啊
I am gonna go, but after yoga.
我会去的 但我要先去做瑜伽
You should come with me,
你应该跟我一起来
'cause you seem really tense.
因为你看起来真的很紧绷
well, maybe they have a five-minute class
他们有那种五分钟的班
I could sneak in between football camp and driver's ed?
能挤进我橄榄球夏令营和驾校之间吗
No, I'm very proud of you and your grapefruit.
不 我很为你和你的葡萄柚骄傲
Chrysler building.
这是克莱斯勒大厦
Mitchell really embraced
米奇尔远比我想象中
this whole "take a little break" thing
更欣然地接受了
far more than I expected.
短暂休假这件事
But for years, he supported both of us
可是这么多年来都是他在赚钱养家
while I pursued my passions --
让我自由发展爱好
photography, hip-hop dancing, fox hunting.
比如摄影 嘻哈舞 猎狐
So I couldn't be the one to tell him to get a job.
所以我没资格催他去找工作
But maybe somebody else could.
不过也许别人可以
Charlie? It's -- it's, uh, Cameron.
查理 我是卡梅伦
My husband Mitchell used to work for you.
我丈夫米奇尔曾为您工作过
I remember you.
我记得你
Yeah, what a nice surprise.
真是惊喜啊
I know! Crazy!
就是 真疯狂
Crazy like that fox I told Mitchell was chicken.
就跟我告诉米奇尔是鸡的那狐狸一样疯狂
Was it clear? I-I stalked Charlie.
很明显吧 我跟踪了查理
I can't believe it.
我不敢相信
Mitchell and I were just talking about you last night.
米奇尔和我昨天晚上还在谈论你
How are you?
你好吗
Well, I don't want to burden you with my problems.
我不想拿我的问题来打扰你
I think I've outgrown my boat.
不过我的游艇好像不够大了
- How is Mitchell? - He's fine.
-米奇尔好吗 -他很好
Actually, he's fielding a few job offers right now,
实际上 他最近收到好几份工作邀请
and he's running into problems
但是遇到点小麻烦
because he keeps comparing everyone to you.
因为他一直拿所有人跟你比
Sometimes I think the only thing
有时候我都觉得
that's gonna make him feel better
唯一能让他好受的办法
is if you offered him another job.
是您再提供一份工作给他
What the hell? I'll do it.
什么 我愿意
- Really? - Yeah, I'm getting a new boat.
-真的吗 -我要买一艘新游艇
And I will talk to Mitchell.
我会找米奇尔说的
I miss that $3 bill.
我怀念那张三美元
You scheduled your breakup?
你们安排好了分手时间
Yes, Labor Day. That's when I leave for school.
对 劳动节 我回学校的日子
86% of long-distance relationships end in failure.
86%的长距离恋爱最终失败
It's the only logical course of action.
这是唯一合理的行为
That is the least romantic thing I've ever heard.
这是我听过最不浪漫的事
Stay together.
继续在一起啊
Wrong. Break up.
错了 应该分手
College is the sexiest candy store in the world.
大学是世界上最诱人的糖果店
You don't want to show up with your jaws wired shut.
你可不想闭紧着嘴巴进去
No, take it from Haley and me.
不 就拿我跟海莉的经验来说
It's hard to be apart and then together
分开再在一起
and then apart and then together
再分开再在一起
and then apart and then turned down by the marines
再分开 被海军给拒了
and then together.
再在一起 真的好难
I can't believe we've got that dodo back in our lives.
不敢相信那个傻瓜又回到我们的生活中
At least Haley's happy.
至少海莉开心了
Honey, could you at least take that T-shirt off?
亲爱的 你至少把那T恤给脱了吧
oy vey意第绪语 类似"哎哟"
They loved it at the deli. They were kvelling.
熟食店里的人很喜欢 他们可得意了
Hey-oh!
大家好
- Andy! - Hi.
-安迪 -你好
Sorry to interrupt. I just want to get these to you.
抱歉打扰了你们 我只是想把这些给你
- Here is the closing on Baywood. - Awesome.
-这是跟贝伍德的合约 -太棒了
And this is the Johnsons' offer, all set for signatures.
这是强森的报价 只要签名就好
You've done a real mitzvah, buddy.
你已经破茧成蝶了 哥们
I hope that's good.
希望还不错
I -- it's been awhile since I've seen you.
好久没见过你了
Yeah, I've been putting a lot of hours in,
我多加了好多班
trying to earn extra money for this wedding.
为婚礼多赚些钱
Hola. I'm Dylan, Haley's boyfriend.
你好 我是迪兰 海莉的男朋友
I'm Andy. I didn't realize you two are back together.
我是安迪 我不知道你们已经复合了
Oh, yeah.
是啊
We're like magnets...
我们就像磁铁一样
that sometimes take a break to date other magnets.
偶尔分开去约一下别的磁铁
What happened was we were together,
我们在一起过
and then we were apart.
然后分开了
Thank you so much for making time for us today.
感谢您今天花时间见我们
I'm sorry it took so long,
很抱歉花了这么长时间
but the faculty kind of scatters for the summer.
教职员们都放暑假去了
I drove my van to Maine and planted beans.
我开着我的卡车去缅因州种了豆子
Let me guess -- and killed a giant.
让我猜猜 然后杀死了一个巨人
- Chicken! - What the -- Joe!
-鸡 -这是怎么... 乔
Joe, come back here.
乔 回来
It's okay. The chickens won't hurt him.
没关系 小鸡们不会伤到他的
They're used to the kids.
它们习惯了小孩子
Chickens are part of this?
小鸡也是这里的一部分吗
We like to utilize the setting here in the hills,
我们喜欢尽量利用山里的一切
make nature a part of the experience.
让自然成为体验的一部分
We sometimes see mice or raccoons or little squirrels.
我们偶尔会看到老鼠 浣熊或者小松鼠
You know they got traps for those kind of things.
你知道还有专门捉这些的陷阱吧
Ay, I love it. Joe gets to run around in the fresh air.
我喜欢这里 乔能够在新鲜空气里奔跑
Erica, I need you!
艾瑞卡 我需要你
I'm sorry. Excuse me.
抱歉 失陪一下
We're out of here.
我们要走了
She's a loon, letting kids call her "Erica"
她很奇怪 让孩子们
like they're poker buddies.
像牌友一样直呼她艾瑞卡
We're too late for anywhere else.
这么晚我们去不了别的地方了
If Bruce Willis can jungle-gym his way
如果布鲁斯·威利斯能靠
into that fancy school, then I can...
捐攀爬架进高大上学校 那我也能...
I don't know -- I can cubbie my way in.
我不知道 我能靠柜子进去
They hate their cubbies? I'll make them new ones.
他们不喜欢现在的柜子 我给他们做新的
Cubbies are nothing but little closets.
小柜子不就是小版衣柜嘛
Ay, but look at Joe. He loves it.
看看乔 他喜欢这里
He's chasing after the chickens.
他正追鸡呢
He even caught one.
他还逮到一只
No! No!
不 不
No, Joe! Let go!
别呀 乔 快放开
We will be very happy to pay for that chicken.
我们很乐意付那只鸡的钱
Mitchell, Mitchell!
米奇尔 米奇尔
Look who I bumped into accidentally by chance.
看看我一不小心还十分巧合得碰见了谁
Hey, stranger.
你好啊 陌生人
Charlie!
查理
I didn't know you painted.
不知道你还会画画
I didn't, either.
其实我也不知道
It sort of started as a therapeutic thing,
刚开始只是为了消忧解闷
But then I just really fell for it.
但后来就爱上它了
I always wanted to paint.
我一直都想画画
Damn it!
我靠
Why am I not painting?
我为什么不画画
Well, you're so busy running your company.
你管理公司很忙嘛
Maybe if you hired more people, you'd have more time.
要不多雇点人 这样你就有空了
I sleep with so many actresses and models
我睡了那么多演员模特
who are into guys with jets and boats and ski houses,
她们喜欢有飞机 游艇和度假别墅的男人
But I always wondered, wouldn't it be more satisfying
但我一直在想 睡喜欢艺术家的
To sleep with actresses and models who are into artists?
模特和演员肯定更来劲
Anyway, you were saying how overwhelmed you were at work.
对了 你刚在说你被工作搞得喘不过气
I'm overwhelmed by this work.
这幅画才美得让我不能呼吸
How do you decide what to paint?
你都怎么决定画什么的呢
You know, I just see these images in my head,
我脑子里有些画面
Uh, things I want to see, places I want to go,
比如说 我想看的东西 想去的地方
how much paint I have left.
还剩下多少颜料
sometimes I just tap into my emotions,
有些时候就跟着感觉走
and I see where that takes me.
看看最后是什么效果
And -- you cannot imagine the sense of contentment.
你都想不到整个人能有多满足
Imagine how much more satisfying it would be
想想工作一整天
after a good day's work.
会有多爽吧
You know, I came here to talk you
我来这里
into coming back to the company,
本是想让你回公司工作
But you're the most at-peace son of a bitch I've ever met,
但你是我见过最波澜不惊的小伙
And I hired the Dalai Lama for a pool party.
我可是请大喇嘛主持过泳池派对的人
Thank you, commander.
谢谢 长官
I will drop these at the office on the way out of town.
出城的时候我会顺便送到办公室
So, unless there's something else?
还有什么事吗
You're something else. Claire, get this man a cupcake.
你就是事 克莱尔赏他个杯子蛋糕
No, thank you, Mrs. Dunphy.
不用了 邓菲夫人
I've got to fit into a wedding tux pretty soon.
我马上就要穿礼服了
All right, get out of here. Happy motoring.
好吧 你出发吧 骑车愉快
- Bye, Andy. - See you.
-再见 安迪 -再见
Where's he off to?
他要去哪
Utah for a month to plan his wedding.
犹他州 去那一个月准备婚礼
I'm kicking myself. Andy is great.
我好后悔 安迪很棒
And if I hadn't opened my big, fat mouth,
要不是我多嘴
Haley might be with him right now instead of with Dylan.
也许海莉现在就和他在一起了 而不是迪兰
- What? - Nothing.
-你想什么呢 -没什么
Claire?
克莱尔
Oh, I was just wondering what would happen
我在想 假如安迪知道
if Andy were to find out that Haley almost --
海莉差点... 会怎么样
No. We are not meddling like that.
我们不能插手
No, we're not. Of course we're not.
不 我们当然不会了
But you meddled when you called Haley
但是你插手了啊
and told her that Andy liked her.
你打电话告诉海莉安迪喜欢她
That's a far cry from telling Andy
这跟告诉安迪
Haley was in love with him
海莉喜欢他
and raced to the beach to stop his proposal.
还曾跑到海滩想阻止过求婚差远了
Luke?
是卢克吗
Nope.
不是
I accidentally took your pen.
我不小心拿了你的笔
And I didn't want to go plan my wedding
我不想在规划自己婚礼的时候
with something so big weighing on my mind.
心里有这么大个包袱
Andy, I am really sorry.
安迪 真抱歉
I didn't mean for you to hear that.
我不是故意让你听见的
Do not worry. No big dip!
别担心 没事
Really?
真的
Sure!
真的
It's actually kind of funny, you know?
这其实挺好笑的
'Cause how crazy is life?
生活多疯狂啊
I was all, "Should I propose to Beth?
我一直在想 该向贝丝求婚吗
I have feelings for someone else."
但我对其他人还有感觉
Meantime, I was talking about Haley.
我还想着海莉
Haley apparently had feelings for me, and I had no clue!
海莉很明显对我有感觉 我却不知道
How could you not laugh at something like that, right?
这难道不搞笑吗
So good.
真好吃
All right. Mmm. Happy Fourth.
好了 国庆节快乐
I am so fine.
我啥事没有
九月
- Hey - Hello Hello
-大伙好 -大家好
Where do I put this?
这东西放哪
Anywhere on the counter is great, thanks.
放台子上就行 谢谢
Hi, dad.
老爸
What's, uh, "E-olve" Mean?
你胸口上是啥字
Oh, no. It says "Evolve."
是进化
It's one of Dylan's designs. The neck is the "V."
这是迪兰的设计 领口代替V字
- There's two V's. - There can't be two necks.
-这词里有两个V啊 -但人没有两个脖子啊
- Then why even do it? - Don't make me defend this, dad.
-那为啥这么设计 -求别让我替他辩护
I am just trying to be supportive.
我就想做老好人
Ignore him. He's just grumpy
别理他 他这么暴躁
because Joe starts school tomorrow.
是因为乔明天要上学了
Well, that's hard when they leave the nest
孩子们第一次离开家的时候
for the first time.
的确挺让人难受的
I don't care about that.
我才不在乎那件事
All I wanted was to bribe my way into that fancy school
我只是想靠东西不会掉出来的小柜子
by making cubbies stuff didn't fall out of.
来疏通进那家高大上的学校
We can't say more. Litigation is pending.
我们不能说太多 案子还在等结果
All right, who's ready for my famous chicken salad?
好了 谁想吃我拿手的鸡肉沙拉
Thank you!
谢谢
- We need the foil back. - Right.
-锡纸记得还我们 -好的
What happened to your ear, Van Gogh?
你的耳朵怎么了 梵高
I was painting sunflowers outside,
我在外面画向日葵的时候
and I got stung by a bee.
被蜜蜂叮了
You know, I take it as a compliment.
我觉得那是对我绘画水平的赞赏
From the bee community?
来自蜜蜂界的赞赏吗
Oh, my goodness, Claire. That's one of mine.
天啊 克莱尔 那是我的画
- Yes, it is. - Oh, that looks so good there.
-是的 -那幅画挂在那里太美了
Right? I just love all the colors. It makes me feel so happy.
是吧 所有颜色我都喜欢 让我心旷神怡
Yeah.
是啊
I call it "Rape of the immigrant."
我管它叫"移民者的掠夺"
I think we left the brownies in the car.
布朗尼蛋糕好像忘在车里了
- I'll get those. - Well, way to go, pal.
-我去拿 -去吧 伙计
Okay, what is wrong with you people?
好了 你们到底是怎么回事
I am dying here, trying to hold down two jobs
我都快死了 拼命干着两份工作
while you enable a once-proud man
而你们却任由一个曾经意气风发的人
who is clearly having a talent-free breakdown.
浪费才能做些毫无意义的傻事
You know why he reminds you of Van Gogh?
你知道为什么他让你想到梵高吗
It's because he's earning nothing,
因为他不赚半毛钱
and he's losing his mind!
而且他就要疯了
Hey, everybody! Guess who's back?!
各位 猜谁回来了
Who? Who is back?
谁 谁回来了
Andy.
安迪
Andy! Sorry, it took me a second.
安迪 抱歉 一下子没认出你来
No, I know. I -- I'm parting my hair a little differently.
没关系 我知道 我的发型有些不一样
- Yeah. - That's one thing that's new about me.
-是啊 -这是我的新变化之一
So, Beth likes it this way.
贝丝喜欢我这样
- I-I love it, looks great. - It looks great.
-我喜欢 挺不错的 -挺好的
Thank you.
谢谢你们
Hi, Uncle Mitchell.
米奇尔叔叔
Honey, what's wrong?
宝贝 怎么了
Nothing. I-I-I just said goodbye to Sanjay.
没什么 我刚送走桑杰
We broke up.
我们分手了
No.
No, it's -- it's -- it's great.
没关系 这很好
We're -- we're both going to school unencumbered
我们 我们都想没有负担的回到学校
and ready to focus.
专心于学业
It's the smart thing to do.
这才是明智之举
We both feel really good about it.
我们都十分满意这个做法
You don't look like you feel good.
可你看起来并不好
Well, yeah, he was -- he was sadder than I imagined,
是啊 他比我想象得要伤心
so I'm being strong for the both of us,
所以我必须为了他而坚强起来
which he said he admires.
这正是他欣赏我的地方
I think.
我想是吧
It was hard to hear him
听着他那些约翰传奇的歌
with all the John Legend and the sobbing.
还有抽噎声 我听不太清他说的话
You know what?
你知道吗
I recently went through a very hard time,
我最近也经历了一段很难熬的日子
and I found something that really helped me
而我发现了一种非常有助于
navigate my feelings.
排遣消极情绪的方法
- I don't want to paint. - Painting.
-我不想画画 -绘画
Oh, my God, right?
天啊 是不是
I am freaking out.
我要吓疯了
You don't think that's because of what he heard us say, do you?
你觉得他是因为听到我们的谈话才那样的吗
No, lots of people gain weight during their engagement.
不 很多人订婚以后都会发胖
- You did. - I was pregnant.
-你就是 -我当时怀孕了
I'm trying, Claire.
我在努力想理由呢 克莱尔
I don't want to believe we're responsible.
我不想相信我们是害他成这样的元凶
Of course we're responsible.
他当然是因为我们才这样的
Clearly, Andy has been stuffing his face
很明显 安迪自从发现海莉曾试图
ever since he found out that Haley almost stopped his proposal.
阻止他求婚 就开始暴饮暴食
What?
什么
We have got to start talking in the garage.
我们以后真应该在车库里说话了
Dylan, could you make me a plate?
迪兰 你能为我做个盘子吗
If I can make a bong out of a carrot,
如果我都能用胡萝卜做出一杆烟枪
I think I can make you a plate.
那我肯定能为你做个盘子
You told Andy I tried to stop his proposal?
你告诉安迪我曾试图阻止他求婚吗
Not on purpose.
不是故意的
Before he left for Utah, your father and I
在他去犹他州前夕 你父亲和我
were privately discussing how bad it would be
私下里在讨论 如果被他发现
if he found out, and Andy overheard us.
情况会有多糟糕 结果被安迪听见了
What did he say?
他当时说什么了
He said he was fine.
他说他没事
But...now we're not so sure.
可是... 现在我们不太肯定了
Oh, my God.
天啊
Oh, my God, that's Andy?
天啊 那是安迪吗
You think he got fat 'cause of me?
你们觉得他是因为我才胖成那样的吗
Possibly. Yes.
也许吧 是的
Should I talk to him about it?
我该去跟他谈谈吗
Honey, that has to be your decision.
宝贝 那得由你自己来决定
We are through meddling in your love life.
我们不想再干涉你的感情生活了
Yeah. Though I will say he's still very much engaged.
是的 不过我要说 他依然有婚约在身
Whereas, I would want to know if he got fat
如果是我呢 我会想知道
because he was still in love with me.
他发胖是否因为依然爱着我
And now we're out.
现在我们走了
See, don't you feel better?
你看 是不是舒服多了
No.
没有
Don't stress out about light
别纠结于光线
and perspective and -- and color.
景致 还有颜色
You know, just let your painting be what it wants to be.
知道吗 就随心所欲地画出想表达的东西
- How's this? - Here, let's see.
-怎么样 -让我看看
What the hell? Why are you so good?
搞什么鬼 你怎么画得这么好啊
I don't know. I'm just good at most things.
我也不知道 我大部分事情都很擅长
So am I, usually.
通常我也是啊
Wait a second. So is Sanjay.
等等 桑杰也是这样
I-I-I-I have to get to him before he leaves.
我得在他走之前赶紧去找他
- You're really getting better. - Maybe you should go inside.
-你真的画得越来越好了 -你还是进屋去吧
Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, get down from there!
乔 乔 乔 赶紧给我下来
- You're gonna get hurt. - What happened?
-你会受伤的 -发生什么事了
This is why he shouldn't go to your commune.
这就是他不该去你那家公立幼儿园的原因
He'll fall, those hippies won't notice,
他会摔下来 那些嬉皮士根本注意不到
And he'll be eaten alive by chickens.
他会被鸡给生吞活剥了的
I think we have established
我想我们已经确定过
That he can take care of himself around a chicken.
在鸡面前 他完全可以保护好自己的
You keep forgetting that Joe is tough. He's part me.
你老是忘记乔很强悍 他也遗传自我
That's the son that you should be worrying about.
你该担心的是你那个儿子
I really thought I was done with that one.
我曾以为可以不用再管那个儿子了
How's it going?
你还好吗
I got a splinter... and a few other issues.
我受了点小伤 以及其他一些问题
You know what's happening here, don't you?
你知道这是什么情况吧
You're having a mid-life crisis.
你遭遇中年危机了
Oh, my god.
天啊
Some guys, it's fast cars and women.
有些人通过开快车 找小三解决
Me, it was golf.
我 是打高尔夫
You, it's just a little gayer.
你 则成了基佬中的战斗基
I know like 10 lesbians who could out-golf you.
我认识大约10个高尔夫球打得比你好的拉拉
The point is when you're wound as tight as we are,
重点是 如果你的那根弦绷得太紧
You're bound to snap.
是会断的
Yeah, I-I've just been working so hard for so long.
是啊 太长时间以来我都十分拼命地工作
And now that I've stopped,
然后我突然停下来了
I'm -- I'm having a hard time starting again.
我 我就难以再重新开始了
Oh, I get it.
我懂的
I took six weeks off one summer just to play golf.
我有一年夏天休假6周专门去打高尔夫
And one day, during the big club tournament,
有一天 在俱乐部联赛中
I hooked a seven-iron out of bounds.
我把一根7号铁球棒挥出了界外
I got so pissed that I wrapped the club around a tree
我气坏了 把球棒绑在一棵树上
And drove the golf cart off the little bridge into the lake.
然后把一台高尔夫车从桥上开进湖里
I'll never forget what the club pro said to me.
我永远无法忘记那位驻场选手对我说的话
"Mr. Pritchett, you're not a very good golfer.
"普里契特先生 你不是个好的高尔夫球手
Go back to your day job."
回去干你的正经工作吧"
I know I'm not a good painter, dad.
我知道我不是个好画家 爸
I -- I was just hoping to feel a little bit better
我 我只是希望在回去工作前
Before going back to work.
先让自己感觉好一些
You're not gonna feel better until you go back to work.
你只有回去工作了 才会感觉好一些
Mitchell, you're a great lawyer.
米奇尔 你是个出色的律师
Go do that.
继续去当律师吧
And get a haircut.
还有去把头发剪剪
So, listen, um, I heard that you found out
听着 我听说你发现了
That I was at the beach that day.
我那天其实去了海滩
Yeah.
是啊
I didn't know you felt that way about me.
我之前不知道你对我是那种感觉
Would have been nice to know.
如果那时候知道就好了
Well, it would have been nice to know you had feelings for me.
那时如果知道你对我也有感觉就好了
A lot of things would have been nice.
那样 很多事情都会变得无比美好
Do you have feelings for me now?
你现在对我有感觉吗
Haley, I'm engaged.
海莉 我已经订婚了
That's not an answer.
你没有正面回答我
Why are you picking now to talk about all this?
你为什么选择现在来谈这事啊
Because I'm worried about all this.
因为我担心你这样
What? My weight?
什么啊 我的体重吗
Please. This will drop off in a second.
拜托 我分分钟就能减肥成功
Andy, don't you think that there is a chance
安迪 你觉不觉得有这么一种可能
That you have been eating
就是你现在暴饮暴食
Because you regret getting engaged to Beth?
是因为你后悔跟贝丝订婚了
Why would I do that? Beth is amazing.
我为什么要后悔啊 贝丝超赞的
Beth is a psycho who tried to light my hair on fire.
贝丝是个试图点燃我头发的神经病
Meanwhile, Dylan is in the backyard
然而 迪兰现在正在后院
Trying to make a plate out of sticks.
试图用小棍棒做个盘子呢
Well, at least he knows what he wants and goes for it.
至少他知道自己想要什么 然后就努力去追求了
Then I guess it's a good thing that we didn't get together.
那我觉得我们没在一起真是好事呢
Best decision I ever made!
真是我做过的最明智的决定
Samesies!
我也是
I'm not gonna lie, Phil.
我不打算说谎 菲尔
I might need to get back into that.
我或许不得不插手了
Sanjay!
桑杰
Oh, god. I can't say goodbye again.
天啊 我无法承受再次道别
We don't have to.
我们不必道别的
We're basing this decision on a statistic.
我们这个决定是根据统计数据而做出的
86% of long-distance relationships end in failure, correct?
86%的异地恋都以失败告终 对吧
Of course "correct."
当然对了
You'd never misquote a statistic.
你向来都不会错误引用数据的
And neither would you.
你也不会的
When have we ever been in the bottom 86% percentile of anything?
我们有哪方面是在落后的那86%的群体中啊
Never. I'd kill myself.
从没有 那样我情愿去死
We're in the top 1%.
我们属于那顶尖的1%
Exactly. I learned how to paint in an afternoon.
没错 我只用了一个下午就学会了画画
Last night, I developed an app
昨晚 我开发了一个App
to feed my fish from college.
可以从大学里远端喂我的鱼
If anyone can make this work, it's you and me.
如果说有人能异地恋成功 那就是你和我了
God, I love numbers.
天啊 我好爱数字
I love numbers too.
我也好爱数字