摩登家庭 第七季 Modern Family Season 7 第10集: Playdates

上映日期: 2,015

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧

导演: James Alan Hensz

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·


台词
I'm starving.
我饿死了
Any chance that's for me?
那有可能是给我做的吗
Oh, no. It is for Mom.
不 是给老妈做的
I'm planning on making some bad choices tonight,
我打算今晚做些坏决定
and I'm gonna need her on my side.
我需要她站在我这一边
I never realized the forethought
这种小算盘我从没实现过
that went into being a disappointment.
全都落空成了遗憾
Hey, Uncle Mitch. What are you doing here?
早啊 米奇舅舅 你来干什么
What do you mean? It's Uncle Mitchell's Birthday Fun Day.
什么干什么 今天可是米奇舅舅的生日欢乐日
米奇舅舅的生日欢乐日兑换券
We know!
我们知道
Yeah! Yeah!
当然啦
We are so excited you are finally cashing this in.
你终于来兑现它了 我们好开心
Me too.
我也是
We forgot to get Uncle Mitchell a present for his last birthday.
米奇舅舅上个生日的时候我们忘了送礼物
So, we came up with this great idea --
所以我们想到了这个绝妙的主意
A coupon for a fun day with the three of us.
和我们共享欢乐一日的兑换券
It was perfect because it was so sweet
这主意很完美 因为它不仅棒
and we'd never have to do it.
我们也不用真的去兑现
I hope you're ready for your first big surprise!
我希望你准备好迎接第一个大惊喜了
I am.
准备好了
It's a super-fun omelet!
超级乐享煎蛋卷
Uh, yeah!
是啊
And if you were wondering what is so super-fun about that,
如果你在纳闷这究竟有什么超级乐享的
is that it comes with a -- a side of, uh...
这是因为随蛋附送的是
Luke's omelet dance!
卢克的煎蛋卷舞
Don't be shy. You've been practicing all week. Come on.
别害羞 你不是都练了一周吗
Okay. Uh...
好吧
*It's your birthday*
*今天是你的生日*
*I'm an omelet*
*我是个煎蛋卷*
*It's your birthday*
*今天是你的生日*
*I'm an omelet*
*我是个煎蛋卷*
It's your birthday
今天是你的生日
This is a living nightmare.
这真是个现实的梦魇
Why would he just show up?
他为何会直接过来
Shouldn't he have given us some notice?
他不应该给我们先打个招呼吗
I kind of remember him calling about it,
我似乎记得他打电话说过这事
But I would've put it in my phone --
但我肯定会记在手机上
- Oh, there it is. - Of course.
-记着呢 -果不其然
Oh, my god. I'm supposed to be cat-sitting.
天啊 我现在是应该在照看一只猫的
We have to figure out something good.
我们得想出个好主意
He's the first to call us on our birthdays,
他总是在我们生日第一个打电话祝贺
and he always gets us amazing presents.
他还总会送给我们超赞的礼物
Are you even listening to me?
你有在听我讲话吗
How long can a cat go without eating?
一只猫不吃东西能活多久
Haley, he is the best uncle there is.
海莉 他是世界上最棒的舅舅
This cannot be our present.
这玩意儿可不能是我们的礼物
*It's your birthday*
*今天是你的生日*
*I'm an omelet, it's your birthday*
*我是个煎蛋卷 今天是你的生日*
I don't know what's happening, but I love it.
我不清楚这是什么情况 但我喜欢
- It's your birthday. - It's my birthday.
-今天是你的生日 -今天是我的生日
- I'm an omelet. - You're an omelet.
-我是个煎蛋卷 -你是个煎蛋卷
家 庭
摩 登
第七季 第十集
If you're going to keep giggling, I'll do my own nails.
如果你再笑 我就自己弄我的指甲
I'm sorry -- it's just funny, the juxtaposition.
抱歉 只不过太好笑了 这种情景置换
I get it -- I'm Asian.
我懂 因为我是亚裔
美国美甲行业内有许多亚洲人 著名的如凤姐
It's racist, Daddy.
这可是种族歧视 大爸
Sorry.
抱歉
前缀加国籍在美国也算作一定的歧视
Lily, look who it is -- our lovely Canadian guests.
莉莉 瞧瞧谁来了 我们可爱的加拿大房客
Please come in.
请进
How is everything upstairs?
楼上住的怎么样
It's like a palace up there.
楼上跟个宫殿一样
I keep expecting to run into Gordon Pinsent.
我还想着会不会遇到高登·平森特呢
I'm sorry.
抱歉
Is he not a big movie star down here?
在楼下这里他不算是个大影星吗
No. But thank you for Ryan Reynolds.
不算 但是感谢你们提供的瑞安·雷诺兹
二者皆为加拿大演员
One little thing -- we're going to see the handprints
还有件事 我们要去中国剧院
at the Chinese Theater, and I'm worried
看星光大道的手印 我担心
it's going to look disrespectful if Rob wears shorts.
罗布穿短裤会显得不礼貌
Honey, it's 55 degrees out. I'm not wearing long pants.
亲爱的 外面可有13度 我才不要穿长裤
调侃加拿大的气候
You're fine. It's Hollywood.
没事的 那是好莱坞
There'll be people there with no pants.
还有人不穿裤子在那逛呢
Hi, Lily.
你好 莉莉
Lily, say hi to Monte.
莉莉 跟蒙蒂打个招呼
Hi.
你好
I'm...sorry. She's never this shy.
不好意思 她从来没这么害羞过
No, we'sorry. Seems like something scared her.
不 我们才不好意思 好像什么吓着她了
It was adorable.
太有爱了
Lily was clearly smitten with that little Canadian Monte.
莉莉很明显被加拿大的小蒙蒂迷住了
Just heard that. Delightful.
听出来歧视了 不好意思
It was a rite of passage that I had been looking forward to --
这是我一直以来期待的成长里程碑
My daughter's first crush.
我女儿的初恋
And I wanted to be there for her
我想去支持帮助她
in a way that no one was there for me.
因为当年没有人支持帮助我
Of course, my first crush was on a statue
也难怪 我的初恋是法院前
of a confederate general in front of a courthouse.
一座联邦政府将军的雕塑
That's the same year they put up
也是在那一年他们挂上了
The "Do Not Climb The Statue" signs.
"严禁攀爬"的牌子
Sorry I'm late.
抱歉来晚了
Is this shirt okay? I got another one in the car.
这衣服可以吗 车里还有另一件
It's just lunch. Calm down.
只不过是吃顿午餐 淡定点
Your boyfriend's gonna love it.
你男友会喜欢的
Last summer, Phil and I went to Cabo for five days,
去年夏天 我和菲尔在卡波待了五天
and we met Tom and Lisa Delaney, and we had so much fun,
认识了汤姆和丽萨·德兰尼夫妇 玩得超开心
we make sure to see them every time they're in town.
每次他们过来我们都一定会跟他们聚会
Tom's a hugely successful investment banker.
汤姆是一位十分成功的投资银行家
He does tons of charity work,
他参与很多的慈善活动
he runs a marathon in 3:24,
他能3小时24分跑完全程马拉松
and he flies his own helicopter.
他还会开自己的直升机
Yeah, and Lisa...
是啊 而丽萨呢
Yeah, she is one lucky lady.
丽萨可真是个幸运的女士
Before they get here,
他们来之前
can you promise me you won't pick up the check?
你能不能答应我不要付账
Why?
为什么
Oh, honey, I like them,
亲爱的 我喜欢他们
but we've seen them three times since Cabo.
卡波之行后我们见了他们三次
Every time, they order the most expensive stuff.
每次他们都会点最贵的东西
They are the richest people we know --
他们是我们认识最有钱的人
Thank you.
谢谢
And yet I have not seen him reach for the check once.
然而我从来没见过他伸手去够账单
Tom has trouble reaching for stuff.
汤姆不方便伸手够东西
He hurt his shoulder pitching in college.
他上大学投棒球伤了肩膀
Division 1.
NCAA第一分区
美国大学体育最高殊荣
You feel a need to pick up the check
你之所以急着去付账
because you're intimidated by him
是因为你敬畏他
and you want to prove something.
想要证明些什么
That's crazy. I just don't like it when the bill sits there.
怎么可能 我只不过嫌账单碍眼
It's awkward.
太尴尬了
You can't just roll over on something
你不能一不喜欢什么东西
'cause it makes you feel uncomfortable.
就往那东西上面摸啊
Whatever you want.
随你便吧
Hello, beautiful.
美人你好啊
Hi, handsome.
帅哥你好
Hey, you two.
你们好啊
Hi! Oh, my gosh. It is so great to see you guys.
天啊 见到你们太高兴了
Let's get some champagne.
开瓶香槟吧
Let's do it.
开吧
Okay, that's it.
我受够了
If you hate it so much, just tell me.
如果你们那么讨厌它 就直说吧
Fine. Your cologne is horrible.
好吧 你的古龙水糟透了
You smell like a stripper died in a cabin.
你闻起来就好像脱衣女郎死在包厢里
I'm not talking about my cologne.
我没在说古龙水
That's why I hang back and wait for him to get specific.
这就是为何我会按兵不动等他自己说
My mustache.
我的胡子
I've been growing it for weeks,
我都留了好几周了
and the two of you have been conspicuously silent.
而你们俩安静得有点可疑
It's very dashing.
很好看
What mustache?
什么胡子
Right, Jay. Like I'm supposed to believe you didn't see it.
好吧 杰 好像我会相信你没看到似的
You got me.
你赢了
Check you later, Serpico.
待会儿见 塞尔皮科
电影《冲突》中阿尔·帕西诺饰演的浓胡大汉
Serpico!
塞尔皮科
You don't even know who that is.
你连那是谁都不知道
Jay.
Where are you going with your golf clubs?
你拿着高尔夫球杆要去干什么
Take a shot in the dark.
去黑夜中击球
But we have a playdate.
可我们约了玩伴啊
Really? We just had one last night.
真的吗 昨晚不是才玩过吗
Not that I'm saying no --
不是我不答应
Just quicker turnaround than usual.
但今天这个节奏有点不太对啊
A playdate for Joe.
给乔约的玩伴
And both parents are coming, so you have to be here.
他父母都要来 所以你得在场
You've got to be kidding me.
你在开玩笑吧
I mean, it's bad enough that these kids today
这年头孩子们得预约
have to make a date to play with each other.
才能和别人玩已经够惨了
They can't go in the street and kick a can
他们不能到大街上去踢铁罐
五六十年代著名好莱坞电影女星
Or drool over a friend's centerfold of Kim Novak.
或对着朋友杂志插页上的金·诺瓦克流口水
Say something I understand.
说点我能懂的好吗
Why do we all have to sit around and watch our kids play?
我们为什么要坐在一旁看孩子玩呢
Because that's what people do now.
因为大家现在都是这么做的
And Joe is very excited about it.
而且乔对此非常高兴呢
His first real friend.
第一个真人朋友
- Gloria... - What's the problem?
-歌洛莉亚 -怎么不行了
I like the mom, and everybody says
我很喜欢那个妈妈 而且大家都说
that you and the dad have a lot in common.
你和那爸爸有很多共同点
It's going to be fun.
会很有趣的
Come in, everybody.
快请进 各位
Gloria, this is my husband, Marty.
歌洛莉亚 这是我丈夫 马蒂
Look at you.
瞧瞧你啊
Pretty as a pinup.
美得像一幅画
And where's the lucky husband I've been hearing about?
那位传说中的幸运老公在哪儿呢
Marty, that's Jay.
马蒂 那是杰
Oh, good. You are old.
真好 你的确也很老
I was scared they were exaggerating.
我还怕他们夸大其词了呢
Um, so...I don't want to spoil any surprises,
我可不想提前剧透
But, uh, if you had to guess,
不过 如果让你猜的话
What -- what would you say we're doing today?
你觉得我们今天是要去干嘛呢
Yeah, let's just see if you pick what we have planned.
对 看看你能不能猜中我们的计划
Let's see.
我想想啊
Oh, my god.
天啊
Is it that farm in Oxnard
是那个在奥克斯纳德的农场吗
where Cam and Lily and I went strawberry-picking?
我 小卡和莉莉一起去摘草莓的那个地方
We had the most wonderful --
我们度过了最棒的
Sorry, but you are just so great at this game.
抱歉 不过你真的太会猜了
But it's not strawberry season, so it can't be that.
可是现在不是草莓的季节 所以肯定不是那
Which is exactly why we didn't pick that.
这也是为何我们没选那里
Okay, so...guess again.
那再猜
Wait -- do I smell the ocean?
等等 我好像闻到了海水的味道
Are you taking me to that fabulous Carlton's on the beach?
你们是要带我去沙滩上那家超赞的卡尔顿酒店吗
They have the most --
那儿有最
Well, we're not making any promises,
我们可没说一定是哦
but that would be a pretty good guess.
不过这猜测挺靠谱的
If they weren't closed for renovations.
如果他们没有停业整修的话
Damn it! Think, Uncle Mitchell.
该死 继续想 米奇尔舅舅
It's getting a little warm in here.
好像有点热了
Do you mind if we crack a window?
你们介意开个车窗[打碎玻璃]吗
Unless I've already done that with my head.
除非我已经用头把它撞开了
We -- we need to stop for gas, okay?
我们要停下来加油
Just keep your blindfold on, Uncle Mitchell.
别摘眼罩 米奇尔舅舅
Okay.
好吧
Fine. This is fine.
行 行吧
Fill 'er up!
加满油
Yes, Ma'am.
好的 女士
Seriously?
开玩笑吧
We can't just keep driving around.
这样一直开着车乱转也不是办法
We need to go somewhere.
我们得去个什么地方
Focus, people. What does Uncle Mitchell like?
集中精力 各位 米奇尔舅舅喜欢什么
I don't know. Gay things, right?
不知道 基佬相关的 对吧
What's the gayest thing you can think of?
你们能想到的最基的东西是啥
He's married to it.
他的结婚对象
Hey, look.
快看
出售明星地图
Everybody loves stars. We could take him on a tour.
每个人都爱追星 我们可以带他去星房观光
Driving around looking at houses
开车转悠 到处看看房子
isn't much of a birthday fun day?
可算不上什么生日欢乐
We need more time.
我们需要更多时间
Let's knock him out.
先把他敲晕吧
好莱坞巨星之家
均为著名演员
Charlize Theron, Harrison Ford, Halle Berry...
查理兹·塞隆 哈里森·福特 哈莉·贝瑞
None of these seem very Uncle Mitchell.
这些听起来都不是他的菜
What does Uncle Mitchell like?
米奇尔舅舅喜欢什么呢
Gay things.
基佬的事物
Then here's the mother lode.
那这个就是基王争霸赛里的霸主了
Barbra Streisand! Perfect!
芭芭拉·史翠珊[著名艺人] 太赞了
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
等等 等等 等等
How do we know these maps are real?
我们怎么知道这地图是不是真的
You think I built this whole business on fake maps?
你以为我拿些假地图来干这事业吗
What business? You got a sign and a lawn chair.
什么事业 你只有一块招牌和一张草坪躺椅
处于生死之间的薛定谔的猫
Can we wrap this up? I might still have a cat to feed.
我们可以抓紧吗 我可能还有只猫要喂
Phil must have taken 100 pictures of me on the beach
菲尔估计拍了一百张我的沙滩照吧
just to get one shot of the topless women behind me.
就为了拍到我后面的裸女
There were topless women behind you?
你后面有裸女吗
Here you go. I'll just take this when you're ready.
账单放这了 你们准备买单叫我就好
Oh, okay. Thank you.
好 谢谢
So, what do you two have planned for the rest of today?
你们今天还有什么安排吗
Nothing...really.
没什么安排 真的
But if you need to wind it up, it's --
但如果你们要走了 这
Nah. We're good.
不 我们不急
Yeah, good. Good.
那好 好
Do you guys, uh, you have any fun trips planned or...
你们呢 有计划什么好玩的吗 还是
Well, I was planning on visiting the restroom,
我计划着去趟卫生间
and if all goes well, then maybe Spain in April.
顺利的话 可能犹如西班牙四月的雨季
Adios, amigo.
再会 朋友
I vaya con dios!
与上帝同在
You want to keep that hand, amigo?
管住你的手 朋友
And France was just beautiful.
法国真的太美了
I hadn't been there since D-Day.
自从诺曼底登陆日后我就没去过了
Took me the same amount of time
尽管再次走过那片沙滩
to get across that beach, though.
还是花了我那么久的时间
You were in the service?
你也参过军吧
Yeah, but different war.
有 不过是不同战争
Oh, Korea. Me too.
和北朝鲜那次吧 我也参加了
No, next war. Keep going.
不 是下一场[越战] 继续猜
Anybody want some cheese?
谁要吃奶酪呢
Not me. Gums up the old ticker.
我吃不了 心血管不太好
Jay knows about that.
杰懂的
No idea. Love the stuff.
不懂 我可爱吃奶酪了
Just be careful with the almonds.
吃杏仁小心点
You may break the denture.
不然假牙可能会咬坏掉
Uh, it's not a denture. It's an implant.
我这不是假牙 是种植牙
How many times have we been over this?
这个我们都说过几次了
You forget stuff, too, huh?
你也容易忘东忘西 对吧
I never forget anything.
我从来不健忘
When we park at the mall, we have to take a picture.
在商场停车 我们还要拍张照记下位置
Jay, Gloria tells me you have kids from your first marriage.
杰 歌洛莉亚说你上一段婚姻也有孩子
So does Marty.
马蒂也是
Yeah. My oldest is, uh, 66.
是啊 我最大的孩子有66岁
Was. She passed last year.
她去年去世了
Oh, I'm so sorry.
我很遗憾
Well, that's young. What was it?
那还年轻 怎么去世的
Natural causes.
自然过世的
I blame most of it on stress.
我觉得都要怪压力过大
So much more pressure than there was years ago.
现在的压力比过去大多了
Back in our day --
回想我们那年代
Different day. Not the same day.
不同年代 我们不是一个年代
Actually more your dead daughter's day.
事实上跟你去世的女儿差不多年代
May she rest in peace.
愿她安息
Mom, we need to talk.
老妈 我们得谈谈
What are you doing here?
你在这干嘛呢
You're supposed to be watching the kids.
你应该在上面看孩子的
Wesley is a bad influence on joe.
韦斯利对乔会有不良影响的
He's rude and disrespectful,
他很粗鲁又没礼貌
and I think you should nip this friendship in the bud.
而且我觉得你得趁早扼杀了这段友情
He made fun of your mustache, didn't he?
他取笑你的胡子 对吧
What kind of 4-year-old knows the word "Wispy"?
哪有四岁小孩还会知道"稀疏"这词
Manny, look at me.
曼尼 看着我
This close, and I still couldn't see it.
都这么近了 我还是没看到他胡子
It's just for a little while longer, okay?
再留久一点吧 好吗
Fine.
好吧
But if they mess with me, I'm gonna mess with them.
但是如果他们惹我的话 我也不会放过他们
How many times a night do you have to get up to pee?
你每天晚上要起来尿几次
I'm up to four or five.
我差不多四五次
Not me, old-timer. Twice tops.
我可不用 老前辈 最多两次
Once last month, I even slept through the night.
上个月有一次 我一整晚都没起过夜
Now, I'm gonna refresh this
我现在要去喝酒了
'cause I got nothing to worry about.
因为我没什么好担心的
I'm literally in a pissing contest
我竟然真的跟那个混蛋
with the son of a bitch.
在比尿尿次数
Why are we eating off the good china?
为什么我们要用上等的瓷器用餐呢
Because we're having company for lunch.
因为我们午餐有客人
Who's coming?
谁要来啊
Okay, I invited Monte and his family from upstairs.
好吧 我邀请了楼上的蒙蒂和他家人
What?! Why?!
什么 为什么
Because a daddy can tell when his little girl has a crush.
因为当爸爸的看出他女儿对人动心了呀
I don't know what you're talking about.
我不知道你在讲什么
Hey, Lily, where are you going?
莉莉 你要去哪儿
Look, I want you to be able to talk to me
我希望你能放心地跟我聊这些
about this kind of stuff.
感情这类的事情
It's completely natural and healthy
对别人有感觉
to have feelings for someone.
是很自然也很健康的
And you know what? I think he likes you, too.
而且你知道吗 我觉得他也喜欢你
You just have to draw him out, you know?
你只要勾他一下 懂吗
- Flirt a little. - How?
-稍微挑逗下 -怎么做
Uh, well, you just sit down in front of him,
你就坐到他面前
look him straight in the eye, put a big smile on your face,
望着他的双眼 甜甜地笑上一个
and ask him some questions,
再问他些问题
like, "So, do you have any hobbies?
比如 你有什么兴趣爱好吗
Is Canada really as beautiful as they say it is?
加拿大真有人们说的那么美吗
Are you a fan of the bacon?"
你喜欢培根吗
Why are you blinking like that?
你干嘛要那样眨眼
Well, because I'm sending him signals.
因为我要给他传递信号啊
Okay, what else?
还有什么呢
Definitely compliment him on his outfit,
一定要称赞他的着装
laugh at his jokes.
他讲笑话一定要笑
What if they aren't funny?
如果笑话不好笑呢
Oh, honey, the cute ones rarely are.
宝贝儿 撒了笑料就不是鲜肉了
God doesn't give with both hands.
上帝可不会什么都赋予
Okay, do not have a heart attack,
可不要乐出心脏病来
but when you take off your blindfold,
当你摘下眼罩时
you will be standing in front of none other
你将看到的不是别人
than the legendary superstar...
而正是传奇巨星
- Who? - the one and only...
-谁 -大名鼎鼎的
- Who? - Ms. Barbra Streisand--
-谁 -芭芭拉·史翠珊
Oh, my!
我的天
's house.
的家
Oh, are you serious? She actually lives here?
你们当真吗 她真住这里吗
I can't believe it.
难以置信
Dude, look. Her gate is open.
快瞧 她家大门开了
We should get a picture of you in her driveway.
我们应该给你在她家车道上照张相
How awesome of a birthday fun day gift would that be?
这样的生日礼物岂不是赞上天了
Okay. You know what? Pepper would die.
这样的话 胡娇绝对嫉妒死了
1983年电影 芭芭拉饰犹太女孩燕特尔
He loved "Yentl" so much, he had a second Bar Mitzvah.
他为了《燕特尔》给自己办了第二次犹太受戒礼
Okay, let's -- let's do it.
来照吧
Okay, right in front of the house.
站到房子前面
Yeah. This is fantastic.
棒极了
*Pepper, can you hear me?*
*胡娇 你听到了吗*
*Pepper, can you see me?*
*胡娇 你看到了吗*
*Pepper, I am standing in the driveway*
*胡娇 我站在车道上*
Excuse me. Can I help you?
不好意思 你们在干什么
I'm so sorry. We were just --
实在抱歉 我们刚刚在
Oh, my god. You're Ray Liotta.
天啊 你是雷·利奥塔[美国演员]
He really is a big fan.
他真是她的大粉丝诶
He even knows the name of her gardener.
连她园丁的名字都知道
"Goodfellas"?
《好家伙》[90年电影]
"Something Wild"?
《散弹露露》[90年电影]
"Field of dreams"?
《梦幻成真》[89年电影]
- Never seen it. - Okay, we're really not that old.
-没看过 -那年头我们都还没出生呢
Look, Ray Liotta is a very fine actor,
雷·利奥塔是一位很好的演员
And we have taken up enough of his time.
我们占用了他太多的时间
Stop saying my full name
别不停地重复我的全名
like you have to keep telling them who I am.
搞得好像你不提他们就不知道我是谁似的
So, wait -- you live with Barbra Streisand?
等等 你和芭芭拉·史翠珊住一起吗
Y-y-you got the map.
你有地图吧
She lived here for about 2 months 15 years ago.
她十五年前在这里住过两个月
You think the bastards would update these things
你觉得那些混蛋会更新这些玩意儿
to reflect the current movie-star owners.
显示目前住在这里的影星是谁吗
Thank you. Come on, kids.
谢谢 走吧 孩子们
We're very sorry to have bothered you.
很抱歉打扰了您
No, no, no. I don't want you to leave empty-handed.
不 不 我不想你们空手而归
Come on in for a selfie.
过来拍张自拍吧
All right. Um... Here. O-okay.
好吧 给你
When you see my movies later,
等你们看过我的电影之后
you're gonna realize that this is a special moment.
就会意识到这可是个特殊的时刻
Come on. And "Cheeeeese"!
来吧 茄子
See? That's an old actor's trick for a perfect smile.
看到没 这可是老演员微笑的秘诀
Except you and I are smiling. You guys aren't smiling.
只不过只有我和你在笑 你们都没笑
W-what's the matter?
怎么一回事
It's not you, Mr. Liotta.
不是你的问题 利奥塔先生
We just really feel like we let our uncle down.
我们只是觉得让自己的舅舅失望了
We were supposed to plan a special day for his birthday,
我们本应给他准备一个特殊的生日
and we totally flaked.
可我们彻底失败了
We're so sorry.
我们真的很抱歉
We tried to figure out where to take you,
我们想了很久到底该把你带去哪里
and we know how much you love Barbra Streisand.
也知道你有多么地喜欢芭芭拉·史翠珊
You always give us the most awesome gifts.
你总是送给我们最棒的礼物
We suck.
我们逊毙了
Don't say that.
别这么说
I kind of figured you didn't have anything
煎蛋卷舞到第二段时
by the second verse of the omelet dance.
我就大概知道你们什么都没准备了
Hey, I've had no training.
我可是零基础
But then I saw how hard you were trying to make me happy,
但当我看到你们为了让我开心而那么卖力时
and I just love hanging out with you guys.
我真的是很喜欢和你们在一起
Plus, I did get to meet Ray Lio-- Ray.
再说了 我还见到了雷·利奥 雷
You're also gonna meet Barbra.
你也会见到芭芭拉的
What? No.
开什么玩笑
I've been meaning to go by her house anyway.
我本来也要去她家一趟的
I've got a bunch of her mail.
我这儿有一堆她的邮件
Oh, you don't have to do that.
不用这么麻烦你了
No, no, no, no.
不 不 不
You remind me of --
你让我想起了
of someone that I loved when I was a kid.
我小时候爱着的一个人
I had a funny uncle, too.
我也有个逗逼舅舅
This is so nice of you.
你真是太热情了
Well, I must admit,
我得承认
I-I have a little bit of an ulterior motive.
请你们来其实是有点自己的小打算
I think Lily has a giant crush on your little guy.
我觉得莉莉看上你们家那个了
I kind of wanted to set them up.
我有点想给他们牵红线
I know -- I'm a hopeless romantic.
我这人特别喜欢搞浪漫
Oh! That's so cute!
太有爱了
I remember my first crush. It was at summer camp.
我还记得我的初恋 那是在夏令营
I lived in Toronto, and he was from Edmonton,
我住在多伦多 他是埃德蒙顿来的
So it was very star-crossed.
也算是有缘无分
Just like our little Romeo and Juliet.
有点像我们的小罗密欧与朱丽叶
He was the first boy I ever loved.
他是我爱过的第一个男孩
Billy Macklin.
比利·麦克林
God. I haven't thought of him in years.
天啊 我都多少年没想起过他了
Do you have any hobbies?
你有什么兴趣爱好吗
Well, I like rock climbing.
我喜欢攀岩
I collect Pokemon --
我收集宠物小精灵
I hear Canada's nice.
我听说加拿大挺不错
Do you like bacon?
你喜欢培根吗
Okay, you know what, I'm just gonna --
话说起来 我要去
After that summer, things got pretty rough.
夏天一过就开始出现问题了
Dad died, Mom started drinking.
爹死了 娘也开始酗酒
It was a lot to handle.
太难承受了
I love your shirt. Is it new?
我喜欢你的衬衫 是新的吗
Oh, I think this shirt's older than you are.
我想这衬衫的年岁比你还大
Okay, Lily, can I see you in the bedroom, please?
莉莉 到卧室去 跟你有话说
Older than I am -- oh, Rob, you're killing me!
比我还大 罗布 你可笑死我了
Okay, we'll be right back.
我们去去就回
And enough.
别骚了
What are you doing out there?
你刚才在干什么
What you told me.
你教我的啊
I think it's going pretty good.
我觉得进展不错
I thought your crush was on Monte.
我还以为你看上的是蒙蒂
You can't flirt with a grown man.
你不能和成年人调情啊
But you said --
可你说过
No. It's not appropriate.
不 这样不好
Oh, no! I'm never talking to a boy ever again!
不 我再也不要和男生说话了
Lily, you have nothing to be ashamed of.
莉莉 你没必要感到羞愧
If -- if anything, this is -- this is my fault.
要怪就怪我吧
I thought you meant Monte, and I confused you.
我还以为你喜欢蒙蒂 是我的错
Can I...tell you a little secret?
我能告诉你个秘密吗
No!
Well, when I made a move on my first crush,
当我对初恋采取行动时
it went way worse.
情况完全失控了
It was New Year's Eve, and I went to give him a kiss,
那天是新年前夜 我跑去给他一个吻
and my tongue froze to his cheek.
结果舌头黏在他脸上了
Why did it freeze?
为什么冻上了
It was cold, and he was made out of bronze,
天太冷 而且他还是铜做的
And I don't want to talk about this anymore.
我再也不想说这事儿了
What are you doing?
你在干什么
Marty said guys our age can't do 10 sit-ups.
马蒂说我们这年纪的人做不了十个仰卧起坐
I don't remember saying it, but it sounds like me.
我不记得说过这话 但像是我说的话
Jay, may I speak with you for a moment?
杰 麻烦你过来一下
All right.
Ah, crap!
糟了
Uh, here. L-let me help you.
让我帮你
I'm going down!
我要倒了
Vicky!
维琪
What is wrong with you today?
你今天是怎么回事
I'm sick of Marty lumping me
我受够了马蒂把我
into the same age category as him.
跟他们一个年龄段的人混为一谈
"Guys like us," "Back in our day."
说什么 像我们这样的人 我们那时候
美国1946年至1964年有近八千万人出生
I'm a baby boomer, for god's sake.
我可是战后婴儿潮出生的人
I know all the words to "Light My Fire."
我记得《点燃我的火》[60年代金曲]全部歌词
Jay, you have to stop thinking only about you.
杰 你不能只再为自己着想了
Yeah, I know, I know. I should think about Joe.
我知道 我改为乔着想
No -- Me!
不 为我
Do you know that Vicky and I
你知道我和维琪
are the oldest moms in the class -- by a lot?
是班上年纪最大的妈妈吗 比别人大得多
So?
所以呢
This might surprise you,
你也许不知道
but aging is also a big deal for women.
变老对女人也是件烦心事
I need Vicky to be my friend.
我需要维琪做我的朋友
I feel out of place around all those young moms.
在那群年轻妈妈里我觉得很不自在
And if you don't like her husband,
如果你不喜欢她老公
maybe she'll stop liking me.
也许她就不喜欢我了
Gloria, I'm trying, but it's --
歌洛莉亚 我在努力 但是
At least you're not the oldest dad.
至少你不是最老的爸爸
Can't you enjoy that?
你就不能享受这一点吗
When was the last time
上一次你作为
that you were the young stud in the room?
年轻人亮相是什么时候
When I put Mom in that nursing home.
我把我妈送进养老院那回
That was quite a rush.
就那么一小会儿
So, are you going to be nice?
你能更友善一点吗
Yes. He's not a bad guy.
好 他也没那么差啦
And really, how much longer
再说啦 我要忍他的日子
am I gonna have to put up with him?
也没剩多少了
Ay, no, Jay. Don't say that.
不 杰 不准这么说
You're going to live a long life.
你会很长寿的
Not me! Grandpa out there!
不是我 我说的是外面那老头
He can hear you.
他能听见
Hear what?
听见什么
You were talking about my mustache again?
你们又在谈论我的胡子吗
No, Manny. We love your mustache.
不 曼尼 我们喜欢你的胡子
Oh, hilarious.
搞笑
Tell me you like it now that I've shaved it off!
我把胡子都剃了你说你喜欢
Black mother and white father, but I've never met him.
母亲是黑人 父亲是白人 但我没见过他
That's a story that should be out there more --
这才是社会上该流传的故事
White fathers who abandon their families.
白人父亲抛妻弃子[一般是黑人父亲]
What else? What else?
还有什么 还有什么
So, this is Walter.
这位是沃尔特
Just as I took over for Jeremy when his shift ended,
就好像我之前接杰罗米的班一样
he'll be taking over for me.
他要来接我的班了
Unless you're ready?
或者说你们准备好买单了
I think we're still talking. But thanks.
我觉得我们还得聊会儿 谢啦
Walter? Could I ask you a quick question right over there?
沃尔特 我能到那边问你个问题吗
I'll be right back, too.
我也马上就回来
I just need a minute alone with my husband. Thank you.
我需要跟我老公聊两句 谢谢
There is no way you are paying that bill.
这单绝对不能由你来付
It has been out there forever,
放在那儿都多久了
and he hasn't even pretended to reach for his wallet.
他手都没往钱包上伸过 装都不装一下
This is torture, Claire.
太折磨人了 克莱尔
I'll pay anything to end it.
我愿意付任何账结束这一切
Stay strong.
挺住
I'm weak. You married a weak man!
我挺不住 你嫁给了一个挺不住的男人
Give it to me. Give it --
把卡给我 把卡
Phil --
菲尔
No! Walter! Walter!
不 沃特尔 沃特尔
Walter! D'ohh!
沃特尔 不
Okay. Here's the thing.
好吧 我说开了吧
- We like hanging out -- - No, Claire! No!
-我喜欢和你们 -不 克莱尔 不
I know what this is about.
我知道是怎么一回事
Tom, you should have paid the check. It's rude.
汤姆 你该把账付了 太没礼貌了
He's not rude. He's wonderful. I had to pay.
他没有不礼貌 他很好 是我必须付账
Why?
为什么
Phil, don't you say another word!
菲尔 你不准再说了
Ow! See? I told you.
看到没 告诉过你了
What the hell is going on here?
这究竟是怎么一回事
- Nothing. - Phil?
-什么事都没有 -菲尔
Fine -- if you have to know
好吧 如果你非得知道
every last detail about my life...
我生活里的每一个细节的话
I lost a bet to Tom in Cabo. Now I owe him five meals.
我在卡波和汤姆打赌输了 欠了他五顿饭
- There -- we're done. - That's it.
-说完了 -就这回事
Why didn't you just say that?
那你为什么不早说
Th-- there's no reason.
没为什么
What...was...the bet?
打的什么赌
Phil, I mean it -- don't say another word.
菲尔 我认真的 不准再说话了
They're gonna figure it out, Tom.
她们迟早会猜到的 汤姆
- How could they figure out, Phil? - They're gonna figure it out.
-她们怎么可能猜到 -她们会猜到的
We were drunk on margaritas, and we wanted to find out
我们喝鸡尾酒喝醉了 然后我们想弄清
whose wife would eat the most crickets.
谁的老婆能吃更多的蟋蟀
- What?! - What?!
-什么 -什么
Doesn't seem like they were circling that, Phil.
看来她们并没可能猜到 菲尔
You were just g-grabbing crickets
你们就抓了蟋蟀
and sneaking them into our food?
偷偷往我们的食物里放吗
Not live ones. They were roasted.
不是活蟋蟀 烤的
Oh, my god!
天啊
You're disgusting people.
你们真恶心
You're missing the silver lining here, honey.
你没看到好的一面 亲爱的
I lost the bet.
我输掉了
So I didn't eat crickets?
所以我没吃成蟋蟀吗
You ate three.
你吃了三只
Lisa had six.
丽萨吃了六只
Six?!
六只
You could've won with four!
你让我吃四只不就已经可以赢了吗
Baby, baby, I couldn't take that chance.
亲爱的 我不能冒这个险
I'd like to give you two a little something to think about.
我要让你们俩好好地思考一下
Most of the food you eat is prepared by us.
你们吃的大部分食物都是我们准备的
Or by our private chef.
或者是私人厨师准备的
But I-I like where you're going.
但我懂你意思 你继续说
Next time you take a bite of a big, juicy burger
下一回你们俩大嚼汉堡
or dig into a bowl of spaghetti,
或者吃意大利面时
there's gonna be an extra special ingredient in there,
里面会有一些特殊的佐料
and it won't be love.
绝对不是妻子的爱意
How many did you get this time?
你这次放了几只
Two crickets.
两只蟋蟀
Okay, this makes more sense.
这才更有道理嘛
Barbra would never leave her gate wide open.
芭芭拉绝对不会让自家大门敞开的
They're broken, okay?
我家的门是坏了关不上
Don't make me regret bringing you here.
别让我后悔带你来这
Hello?
Is Barbra home? It's Ray Liotta.
芭芭拉在家吗 我是雷·利奥塔
You know, from "Goodfellas."
演过《好家伙》
- "Something Wild." - "Field of Dreams."
-《散弹露露》 -还有《梦幻成真》
Oh, I know who he is. What's up, Ray?
我知道他是谁 怎么了 雷
Barbra, I have some of your mail
芭芭拉 我这有些你的邮件
from when you used to live over at Cedarhurst.
寄到你原来在西达赫斯特的住处了
And I have a friend here that would like --
我这还有个朋友想
Just leave the mail by the gate. I'll send someone down.
把邮件放到门口 我叫人去拿
O-okay, but --
好的 但是
Oh. There's more?
还有什么事
Uh, Ms. Streisand, hi. My -- my name is Mitchell Pritchett,
史翠珊小姐 你好 我叫米奇尔·普里契特
And I have been a fan of yours since I can't even remember,
不知道多少年前我就是你的粉丝了
And -- oh, your artistry and integrity
您的风雅和正直
has inspired me my whole life, and I just --
影响了我的整个人生 我
I can't even believe I'm talking to you right now.
真不敢相信我在和你说话
Please. I'm just a regular person, like you.
拜托 我只是个普通人 和你一样
I have people put on my pants one leg at a time.
我穿裤子都需要有人帮我一条腿一条腿往上套
That's so funny.
太好笑了
Barbra, today is his birthday!
芭芭拉 今天是他的生日
Well, technically, it was three weeks ago.
实际上应该是三周前
- All right, you're blowing it. - Sorry.
-别搞砸了 -抱歉
You sound very sweet, Mitchell.
你的声音很甜美 米奇尔
I-I was thinking maybe as a special treat, you could --
我在想 你也许可以送给他一个特殊的礼物
I'm not singing into my gate, Ray.
我才不要对着门禁话筒唱歌 雷
Well, it was very nice to talk to you.
很荣幸跟您聊天
I did have a quick question about --
我只有一个小小的问题
Goodbye.
再见
It's fine.
没事
When I tell the story,
等我讲这个故事的时候
it ends with her singing "Happy Birthday."
结尾是她给我唱了生日歌
Oh, shoot. It's past 3:00.
糟糕 过三点了
What's wrong? You late for dinner?
怎么了 赶不上晚饭了吗
Jay.
Honey, it's okay. If we leave now, we --
没事 如果我们现在走 我们
No, no, I missed it.
不 我错过了
What did you miss?
你错过什么了
It's Fred and Ginger Week on TCM.
这周老电影频道上是舞蹈电影特映周
They're showing "Swing Time". And I forgot to record it.
今天播的《欢乐时光》[36年电影]我忘了录
Let me tell you about a little innovation called Netflix.
让我给你介绍一个新发明 叫网飞
You'll never miss another movie again.
你绝对不会再错过任何一部电影了
- Really? - Hand to God.
-真的吗 -对天发誓
You pick a film on your computer.
你在电脑上挑一部电影
Three days later, there's a disk in your mailbox.
三天之后 电影光碟就邮到你家了
You got to stay up with technology, Marty.
你可得跟上科技的脚步啊 马蒂
Wow. Thanks.
谢谢
Can you believe he doesn't know about streaming?
你能相信他居然不知道网上直播吗
If I ever get that out of touch, kill me.
如果没那玩意儿 我还不如死了好