Okay, five Newtonian equations down.
Only seven quantum mechanical proofs to go!
We are cooking with C-H-4.
And they're both single, fellas.
Come on, guys. Can't we just have one day
拜托 各位 我们就不能
where we respect and support one another?
There was an incident this morning
at our annual neighborhood block party.
Cam usually provides the entertainment at these things,
but he had Lily's birthday party, so Phil volunteered.
Who needs a Fizbo if you can have a Philbo?
I mean, where does it end?
It's so long! It's comically long,
when you think about it.
Thing is, Phil's terrified of clowns.
Just thought if I was the clown, I wouldn't be scared.
Like how you can't tickle yourself.
I got this! Sebastian!
Your mom's worried about you, buddy,
even though there's absolutely no reason to be --
Smell -- oh, God.
They were everywhere.
I recognize that I embarrassed the family this morning,
but I assure you that --
Phil, honey, just come on over here for one second.
菲尔 亲爱的 过来一下
Honey, you are not the first person to put on a clown outfit,
walk into a hall of mirrors, and --
I guess what I'm saying
is if you think you need to do something
to make up for that,
Oh, my God, the computer froze!
Daddy to the rescue!
Well, I feel heard.
Yeah, you know what, Dad, I-I think it's okay.
好吧 老爸 我觉得没关系
I just need to do a hard reset --
No, I don't think it's a reset issue.
I think the surge protector just blew.
I am going to plug this bad boy directly
into the wall and..
Oh, my God! You fried my computer!
All of our work is gone!
Honey, calm down. These hard drives are designed
亲爱的 冷静 这些硬盘都经过设计
to withstand temperatures of up --
Oh, my God, it's on fire!
You know, I totally forgot some of my Navy buddies
are meeting downtown later
for a little reunion at O'Brien's pub.
Well, nothing special is happening here today,
so you have permission to go.
Well, I don't really need your permission.
Why don't you just keep quiet and take yes for an answer?
Ay, there's my handsome, perfect, amazing boy!
我的帅气 厉害 完美的儿子来了
Still not going on the class trip.
Why are you being such a dummy? Is this because I --
Mom, I don't want to talk about it.
Why am I the only one in this house
that ever wants to talk about things?!
Ay, papi, what is wrong?
If the men in this house don't start talking to me,
I swear to God that I will make life miserable
for each and every one of you!
Oh, don't tell me the power just went out!
My Sleep Number bed is stuck on the nap setting.
This is exactly why I sprung for a new generator.
which, you're welcome, just kicked in.
Now, granted, it doesn't power everything.
I had to make some hard choices.
That's it? The bar and the pool table?
The frigerator's black.
Okay, Jay, you're not leaving
好了 杰 在给重要的几样电器
until you put power in the important things.
I swear to God, don't make me more mad than I already am!
Can't I just do it when I get back?
Would you stop doing that?!
It's Lily's 8th birthday,
and we had a little backyard party planned.
Hot dogs, some balloons --
you know, I mean, we really just threw it together.
Kind of like my birthday party last year.
Okay, you told me that you did not want me to do anything --
Anyway, we were all set for a casual kids' party,
but then Lily got an e-mail.
She's coming! She's coming! She's coming! Ashley's coming!
她要来 她要来 她要来 阿什利要来
Mitchell, Ashley's coming!
Oh, my God! Well, now, wait a minute.
Ashley S. Or Ashley W.?
Ashley W.'s coming!
Ashley is the most popular girl in Lily's class.
I mean, you invite her...
but you never think she's gonna accept.
No. Something must have fallen through, or --
不 一定是哪里出错了 或者...
The point is, she decides who's in and who's out.
So we had to up our game.
Which was a fun challenge.
Yeah, considering it had been a while
since we'd thrown any sort of fabulous birthday party.
You begged me not to make a fuss. You said --
Oh, because that sounds like me, yeah.
All right. Once Sophie boards the bus,
we will be on our way to the Princess Park,
where we will all pick out our princess costumes!
I think Ashley's having a really good time.
Yeah? How can you tell?
Oh, no! Is it raining?
Not to worry, sweetie. We have parasols.
别担心 亲爱的 我们有遮阳伞
Good. I powered up all your essentials.
Now I'm gonna go meet my buddies.
I see my espresso machine didn't make the cut,
One of the guys I'm meeting was lost at sea once.
Had to eat a jellyfish.
I'll speak to him of your courage.
So, power's out. Had to come over. Real quick.
没电了 不得不过来 快速讲两句
Phil got dressed up as a clown
and then had a panic attack in a hall of mirrors,
so he's gonna be looking to overcompensate for a lot,
so please don't indulge in any of his --
- Hey, Jay. - Right here.
I remembered you had a generator.
I'm just gonna upload a few quick files for Alex.
- Don't ask. - I never do.
I can't open the jar.
Well, lucky for you your uncle --
brother-in-law Phil is here.
And with one mighty twi--
-No! -No, no, no, no, no!
-不 -不 不 不
Dad, stop helping!
Andy and I started out pretty hot and heavy,
but, uh, the last few weeks I've just been super busy,
so I guess he's feeling neglected,
and he's acting a little cold.
I mean, a chuck on the arm?
What are we, Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer?
Those are people, right?
Ay, there's a puddle!
I'll see you in a couple of hours.
No, no, no, no! Look, it's a leak,
不 不 不 看 漏水了
because it's coming through the wall.
Most likely your gutters backed up.
Consider it handled.
Please don't ask me. Please don't ask me.
Luke! To the gutters!
Okay, princesses, your castle awaits!
The roads were starting to flood,
so we were hoping to ride out the storm here.
Also, Dad, we're hoping to keep the princess theme alive,
还有 爸 我们想继续公主的主题
so if you could pretend to be a --
- Interested? - No.
Ladies, it's costume time! We have...
女士们 到变装时间了 我们有...
Belle, we have Elsa, we have Ariel!
What are we, 5?
Uh, okay, so, that's happening.
Hey, Ashley hates the costumes.
You got to think of something else!
- What do we do? - Well, I don't know.
Our friends are basically 8-year-old girls.
What would they want to do?
Yeah? Yeah? Okay. Okay, girls.
好吗 好吧 女孩们
Uh, let's get some music started here, huh?
Oh, God, Cam, there's no power.
天哪 小卡 没电
Well, had I listened to you and we not donated to NPR,
we wouldn't have gotten this free emergency radio
that we then re-gifted to Jay and Gloria.
I wouldn't call $19 a month free, but okay.
All right, let's get a little funk in here, ladies!
好了 女士们 让我们浪起来
Little more funky energy in this thing!
Got to warm up, you know?
Got to get it warmed up!
I don't know what's wrong with me.
This is my butter-churning arm.
Third drawer from the left.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Thank you. What's with the robe?
I had to go outside and cover my drought-resistant garden.
Well, anyway, there's no power in my room,
and I wasn't gonna get dressed in the dark, so...
How crazy is your dad, huh?!
Braving the elements!
Keeping the family dry! That is fur!
What's the plan, Luke?
There are no bad ideas,
but waving a metal shovel around in an electrical storm
could have a downside,
so let's put it back in the garage, huh?
Whoa, that was close!
Oh, my God! Not again!
Oh, honey, you're gonna be fine.
I can't believe you let him get struck again!
Don't worry about it, champ.
I don't even think it hit him.
Last time he smelled like aluminum.
Honey, your father and I are trying to talk.
Don't feel like you have to wait for me to get back.
The leak is growing!
I was just on my way back out.
- I'll do it. - But --
That's a silly excuse not to go to your school trip.
Mom, I've made my decision.
What's going on here?
I could cut the tension with my machete.
It's so... nothing.
I mean Manny got his robe
caught in the refrigerator door,
and I may have accidentally seen...
Okay. Manny, it's over.
好了 曼尼 都结束了
What happened happened.
Okay, good, because I have a problem
and I need your help, Claire.
Yes. You got it. What is it?
Well, Manny doesn't want to go to his school trip
because there is a rumor
that the kids want to go skinny-dipping,
and he's self-conscious about his body.
I'm gonna pretend I don't understand
why you're including me in this conversation.
You could tell him since you already peeped.
Tell him that he has a beautiful body
so at least something good comes out of the peeping.
Please stop saying that.
When I see Luke naked, I am going to tell him,
"Luke, you have a beautiful body".
Maybe she doesn't think I have a beautiful body.
iAy, dios mio! Claire, is this true?
不是吧 克莱尔 是真的吗
No! Okay, I can't do this.
I'm -- I'm just gonna go ahead and walk away now.
But if a bolt of lightning should strike this house,
you can send it my way.
What -- they didn't like the peanut-butter sandwiches?
No. No one would touch them after Ashley said,
What are you, crazy? She's right there.
Are we really gonna let an 8-year-old dictate this party?
You know how peer pressure is.
I had an Ashley when I was Lily's age.
She blackballed me from the cafeteria table,
and then no one would sit with me.
I had to eat outside with the class rooster.
And then one day...
Okay, if this ends in another case
of you almost eating one of your animal friends, I can't.
But... okay. This is... this is what I'm gonna do.
If we get Ashley on board,
everything else will just fall into place.
I convince juries that guilty people are innocent.
I can certainly convince Ashley
that our party ideas are dope.
Yeah, but don't say dope.
I won't say dope.
Oh, gosh. Oh, good call.
Um, I'm thinking about kicking this party up a notch,
more grown-up activi...
Uh, I-I-it's still...
Yeah. Yes, it is. My word.
Kind of a tweener on sizes.
And we always tend to go smaller, don't we?
I mean, human nature, am I right?
Anyway, um, a lot of high-school girls
are really just falling in love with Pictionary,
and I sort of... um, uh... Oh, gosh.
Cam bought me this shirt, and I...
can't believe I just tried to blame Cam.
Mitchell, take responsibility -- You eat bread, you billow.
米奇尔 要有责任感 自己的错自己担
Anyway... your shirt is really nice, and I...
总之 你的上衣真好看 我...
Yeah. Take the call.
Oh, just a little something special for you and I.
I would put those away.
Joe goes crazy if you play with his blocks.
Maybe it's time for us to get a little crazy.
I was afraid of this.
This is why I was trying to slow things down with Haley.
Women are always drawn to me physically
in a very intense way.
Which often fizzles out
before we have a chance to connect emotionally.
There are so many things about you
that I just don't know.
I feel, in the Book of Haley, I'm only in chapter one.
Turn the page for me, girl.
Would it help you to open up if I were to brush your hair?
You mean in a hot way?
I got us some wine.
You know what would be better?
Two cups of soothing green tea
to warm our emotional availability.
Ooh, the places we will go. I'll be right back.
I hope this doesn't sound conceited,
but everyone wants me.
I just knew there had to be a rational reason
Andy was rejecting me.
Beth's Coast Guard uniform.
I can't believe he's not over her.
She's a size six!
Who moved my blocks?!
Okay, so, Vi equals 367 meters per second,
and D equals .00214, so th...
Alex, did you know I was struck by lightning?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not right now.
不 不 不 现在没时间
So...can we talk about my thing now?
Okay, look, you're really hot,
好吧 听着 你非常帅
and under the right circumstances,
I could see myself making out with you, but...
But we're trying to re-create
all the work that we lost on the computer this morning, so...
Also, every time you open your mouth,
you let out a cloud of stupid over the entire room.
I don't want to be in here with you losers anyway.
And another thing...
can we circle back to what Maisie just said?
- Hey. Back already? - Never left.
And now the pool's a centimeter
from overflowing right in the house.
I got to pump the pool.
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
Jay, I want you in that bar,
and I need to feel like a man.
Let me pump your pool.
All right. One hose in the pool, the other one...
好吧 一个水管在泳池里 另一个...
Jay, shh. It's me.
You're right. I'll do it.
No, no, no, no, no. I got it. I got it.
不 不 不 我能行 我能行
Gloria, I'll be back in a couple hours!
What the... Son of a bitch! Who left the door open?!
什么 混蛋 谁没关门
She probably got outside.
Who the hell left the door open?!
All set, here, Jay! Working like a charm!
都弄好了 杰 弄得特别棒
You didn't think I could actually...
Oh, no, no, no. What are you doing?
不 不 你要做什么
What are you doing?
Wha-- well, Phil had this in his trunk
and I didn't have faith in your "Talk to Ashley" plan, so...
So you decided to go with Bleeding Clown?
Well, how did your talk with Ashley go?
Is your shirt stapled?
Yea... Don't worry about it.
Okay, I will not have our daughter eat lunch
with a rooster for the next year.
We have a fully-licensed clown right here.
any child to not be delighted by that!
You don't like clowns?
The water is coming inside the house from the pool!
Because Phil was supposed to pump it out!
Actually, there's an emergency valve.
At the north end of the pool. I know that valve.
I'm gonna open that valve.
Haven't you done enough already?
Please! I need this!
And who else would dare to jump
in that pool right now anyway?
I'm not sure about the rest of you,
but I'm going swimming, in the rain, in my clothes!
Do whatever you want, Ashley.
Is she following? Don't look back.
Everybody stand back!
I opened the valve!
Your husband's outside half naked.
There's still time to go downstairs
and body shame him if you like.
Okay. Let's you and me get this over with.
Okay, you're really putting on mixed signals here.
Please stop talking. Okay.
Of course you're insecure about your body.
You're a teenager.
It's part of the job description.
But if this whole skinny-dipping thing ever even happens,
you have nothing to worry about.
- Easy for you to... - You're still talking.
You have nothing to worry about
because nobody's going to be looking at you,
because all those other kids
are gonna be too preoccupied with their own insecurities.
You're the most confident kid I have ever met,
and that is always sexy.
And if this helps you in any way,
I've always found you sexy, too.
That's so not you.
Who cares that you dressed up as a clown,
then scared yourself in many mirrors?
Actually, what's even more embarrassing
is that I thought if I ran into that fun house
and grabbed that kid,
everyone would look at me
like the hero I always wanted to be.
Correction. What's most embarrassing
is everything I've done since then
to try to make up for the first thing.
What are you talking about? "Hero"?
You're so much more than that.
You fall down a lot.
You frighten yourself.
You cannot even open a jar. You cry all the time.
I'm really ready for this to build into a compliment.
The point is that you are comfortable with yourself,
and you make people around you feel comfortable.
They feel that they can talk to you.
That's your superpower!
Pool's drained, leaks are fixed, generator's running,
池子放干了 裂缝补好了 发电机工作了
and I'm meeting my buddies.
Why, Jay? Why you have to go out?
为什么呢 杰 为什么你一定要出去呢
It's a hurricane outside!
I think you probably loosened it with the...
Here's your precious uniform!
Oh, so you admit you're still in love with her!
Just saying "Hey" hurts, doesn't it?
Stop! What are you doing?
You won't kiss me. You won't even touch me.
And then I find Beth's uniform?
So you tell me, okay?
What do you do with it anyway?
You -- you -- you sniff it, you snuggle it,
你 你 你闻着它 抱着它
you put it on a coat rack and dance with it?!
I'm sending Beth's things back to her,
and I got her uniform pressed because I love my country.
So, y-you and Beth, you...
所以说 你和贝丝 你们...
There is no Beth. There's only you.
I'm just trying to slow us down a little.
We kind of started this whole thing off in the middle.
I just want us to catch up emotionally
to where we are physically so we don't burn out.
We're not going to burn out.
I liked you way before we ever hooked up.
I just want our relationship to be as good as our affair.
I mean, we never even had a romantic first date.
Maybe we should wait for the perfect moment
so we can start our relationship right.
Something special and magical, like in the movies.
What do you want me to do,
chase you through an airport?
I think we got it.
A damn tree's blocking the street.
I need my chainsaw.
Jay, I know you didn't ask my advice...
I'm glad you noticed that. I've been stuck here all day.
Now, I'm going to that bar!
The last thing I need's another delay.
Where the hell's the chainsaw?!
I'm not gonna get there, am I?
We don't have to talk about it.
Old Navy buddy of mine, Big Jake, died today.
Guys in my unit have a tradition
whereas, when one of us goes, the rest of us,
no matter where we are, find the nearest Irish pub,
at 7 o'clock, silently toast the fallen.
Started with 10 guys.
Probably should have told Gloria about it,
We all went through some rough stuff together...
Why can't we remember this last piece?
We just had it this morning.
Hey, guys. I know you're busy,
but do you think being hit by lightning
can make people smarter?
Yeah. It's probably just a myth.
There's so much crazy stuff written on the Internet these days.
Turns out, when they figured it out the first time,
the formula was in the background of a selfie I took.
Anyway, if you don't think lightning can do that,
it must not be true.
After all, you are the smartest people I know.