摩登家庭 第七季 Modern Family Season 7 第15集: I Don't Know How She Does It

上映日期: 2,015

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧

导演: James Alan Hensz

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·


台词
My super-awesome family
我超酷的家人
was throwing me a surprise early birthday party.
提前给我办了一个生日惊喜聚会
I'm guess I'm the only one at home.
我猜只有我一个人在家
How could you do this?! Dad!
老爸 你怎么能这样
You were supposed to be my hero!
你本该是我的英雄
You let me down!
你真让我失望
Or I forgot to meet the electrician today
或者我今天忘了找电工
to fix our faulty junction box.
修家里的接线盒
Guys, I'm not gonna make excuses.
各位 我不会找借口
I've been really busy at work.
我上班真太忙了
Well, I was halfway through straightening my hair.
我拉头发刚拉到一半
And I was in the middle
我正在洗
of doing three weeks' worth of laundry.
攒了三周的衣服
And I was actually writing a term paper
而我刚才真的写期末论文
right when the lights went out, and...what?
灯就灭了 然后 什么
This isn't soda.
这不是苏打水啊
Okay, before you guys say anything,
好了 趁你们还没发表任何意见
I only put this on because I didn't have anything --
我穿这件衣服是因为我实在没...
Well, the problem obviously self-corrected,
看来问题自己解决了
which I knew it would.
我早料到了
Well, I fixed it.
是我修好的
Yeah, mom called a guy.
老妈叫人来修了
Oh, Claire, I'm so sorry. I got busy at work, and --
克莱尔 抱歉 我太忙了
Oh, honey, don't even worry about it.
亲爱的 别在意
I'm just glad the fridge is up and running.
还好冰箱又能工作了
I pre-packed all the lunches for tomorrow.
我把明天的午饭提前备好了
I didn't want the Brie on the sandwiches to get runny.
三明治里的布里奶酪可别化了
Brie?
布里奶酪
Don't tell me any more.
别再剧透了
I live for the surprise.
要的就是惊喜
Hey, Mom, I know you're really busy at work, but --
老妈 我知道你工作忙 不过
Sweetheart, I would never use that as an excuse.
甜心 我绝不会拿这个当借口
What do you need?
有什么指示
- The cupcakes for the bake sale. - Okay.
-卖糕饼用的纸杯蛋糕 -好哇
Oh, and since we got stuck here,
我们刚被困在家里
I couldn't go out and get
没法出门
that birthday present for my roommate.
给我室友买生日礼物
Or my dress from the dry cleaners.
也没法去干洗店拿裙子
Done, done, and done.
遵命 遵命 遵命
- We have the best mom ever. - Hugs!
-妈妈最棒了 -抱抱
Okay.
好吧
Wait, wait, guys. Guys, Dad's here.
等等 大伙儿 老爸在这呢
Dad, take a photo of us hugging Mom.
老爸 拍一张我们抱老妈的照片
Until now, when I'd screw up on the home front,
以前我把家事搞砸的时候
I could always blame work,
总可以拿工作当借口
but with Claire running a company
可现在克莱尔要经营公司
and being a better mom than ever,
妈妈这个角色当得前所未有的称职
I could feel the kids downgrading
我都能感受到孩子们
their whole opinion of me.
对我大失所望了
I went from an "A" Dad to an "F" Dad.
从A级老爸变成F级了
Fail Dunphy. Phil Dun-fail.
废·邓菲 菲尔·邓废
Failip Hum-fail Dun--
废利普·很废 邓...
No, I had it before.
我以前说很溜的
Say "Brie."
说"布里"
Brie!
布里
Hey, you know what?
我觉得啊
I could do some of that kid stuff tomorrow.
明天我也可以帮帮孩子们
You've got that open house.
你有开放参观日要忙呢
Honey, I've been juggling work and family for 22 years
亲爱的 我都跟工作和家庭周旋22年了
and just juggling for 30.
这点事情算什么
Well, I really need that dress for an event, so --
那条裙子我到时候得穿 所以
I got it.
交给我
Agenda for tomorrow -- One dress,
明天的任务 拿裙子
one set of cupcakes, one present, and that's it.
做蛋糕 买礼物 没了
I got ya! You thought I forgot.
我记住了 别以为我会忘
I will be here to meet the alarm company at precisely 3:40...
我3点40就去找警报公司的人来
earlier today.
今天3点40就该找的
家 庭
摩 登
第七季 第十五集
You didn't make enough noise last night?
昨晚还没吵够吗
With all his crying, I didn't sleep four hours.
他哭得我失眠四个小时
I didn't close my eyes.
我也没合眼
It was like being back in my village,
感觉像回到我的村子
watching for the marauders.
警惕土匪来一样
I don't know what's more shocking --
我也不知道哪个更让我惊讶
You standing watch, or knowing the word "Marauders."
你原来要站岗放哨还是会用"土匪"这个词了
Please tell me I didn't sob all night
别跟我说我小时候
just 'cause I lost my baby blanket.
因为小毯子不见了哭了一整晚
Shh! Don't remind him. He's happy now.
嘘 别让他想起来 他现在挺开心的
And besides, you didn't even have a blanket.
再说 你小时候连毯子都没有
We were basically destitute.
咱们以前一贫如洗
What, did you get hit by lightning?
怎么 你们家被闪电击中了吗
Thank God that Joe has a playdate.
还好乔今天约好要跟小朋友出去玩
Vicky's picking us up.
维吉会来接我们
I'm gonna make him play so hard
我要让他狠狠玩
that he's gonna pass out tonight.
玩到今晚累晕
Well, I've got a playdate with Johnnie Walker,
我跟威士忌有个约会
so one of us is passing out tonight.
我俩中的一个今晚会不省人事
Yeah, I know we're out of dog food.
好啦 我知道没狗粮了
I'll pick some up after golf.
我打完高尔夫就去买
She could lose a couple of pounds, anyways.
她正好可以借此机会减肥 没事
Thank God you don't have a daughter.
还好你没女儿
The minute that kid falls asleep,
等那孩子一睡着
that plane goes Amelia Earhart.
我保证那架飞机一定失联
Doesn't this seem a little chintzy?
这布置是不是感觉挺低端的
Yeah, can we go now?
是啊 咱们可以走了吗
No, we haven't said hello to the grooms --
不行 还没跟两位新郎问好呢
Or the talented people who planned this wedding.
还有策划这场婚礼的才子
Another great Pepper Saltzman production, guys.
胡娇·萨尔兹曼的又一力作 伙计们
Oh, please. What's tackier than a Friday lunch wedding?
得了吧 周五中午的婚礼简直俗到家了
番茄酱是最常见也最廉价的酱
Table five needs more...ketchup.
给五号桌拿点 番茄酱
I have to hide my face with a coat
每次摄影师过来
every time the videographer comes around.
我都得拿外套遮脸
In the old days,
想当年
he'd never taken a cheap job like this,
他从不接这么便宜的单
but the gay-wedding business is drying up.
可是同性恋婚礼越来越少了
We do the bargain ones as Sherman Saltzman Events,
我们会把便宜婚礼统一办成谢曼·萨尔兹曼婚典
and I haven't been Sherman
然而35年前我在卢博克搭上那辆公车后
since I got on that bus in Lubbock 35 years ago.
就没用过谢曼这个名字了
We've only booked two others in months --
都好几个月了才订了另外两场
Adam and Michael last weekend
上周亚当和迈克的婚礼
and Felix and Jordan next Monday.
和下周一菲利克斯和乔丹的
Monday.
周一
Oh, away, you vulture.
走开 阴魂不散的
Cam, do you think it's a little weird --
小卡 你会不会觉得有点奇怪
That we weren't invited to Adam and Michael's
亚当和迈克 菲利克斯和乔丹的婚礼
or Felix and Jordan's? Yes. Totally weird.
都没请我们 是的 非常怪
Okay, sweetie, here's the kid's table.
亲爱的 小孩坐这桌
Where is our table? There are no more tables.
我们该坐哪儿 没有空位了
Oh, my God.
我的天
That's us. Number 65.
我们要坐那里 65号桌
Where are our friends?
我们的朋友呢
Not here.
都不在这里
Are we on some sort of gay blacklist?
我们是被列入基佬黑名单了吗
- I'm not sitting there. - You're sitting there.
-我不要坐那儿 -你坐那儿
Hello.
你好
Hey, honey.
你好 亲爱的
Oh, cupcakes, present, dress.
记得纸杯蛋糕 礼物 还有裙子
菲尔·邓菲 欢迎参观
I remember. I'm gonna get on that
我记着呢 我马上去办
just as soon as I'm done with my open house.
等我先把这边布置完
I just wanted to clarify, where am I getting the present?
先问一下 礼物要到哪里去拿
Hang on, Phil.
等一下 菲尔
I'm in the middle of something.
我这边在忙
Just one second.
等我一下下
I'm -- it's at the Best Buy. Ask for S-Sean -- Stan.
你要去百思买商场找斯但 斯坦
百思买商场 斯坦 邓菲 爱你
It's under "Dunphy".
说是邓菲家订的
Thanks, honey.
谢谢亲爱的
I don't know how you do it all.
真不知道你怎么能记住这么多东西
Love you.
爱你
That's a "t"?
那是个提土旁吗
They say it takes a village to raise a family
人们说要持好家和管好公司
and run a company.
通常需要很多人齐心协力
Turns out, it just takes
原来 要实现这一切
one little suck-up from marketing named Ben.
只需要市场部一个叫本的马屁精
Oh, Claire, I don't know if you heard.
克莱尔 不知道你有没有听说
They moved the Kramer meeting back to 5:00.
他们把克莱默的会议提前到五点了
- No. - Yeah.
-不 -是的
No, I-I have to make a lasagna for Luke's team dinner,
不行 我要给卢克球队做千层面晚餐
but I can't miss that meeting.
但是我也不能错过这个会议
You know, I know my way around a kitchen.
其实我是厨房好手
My mom's an alcoholic.
因为我妈是个酒鬼
So I could easily knock out a lasagna for you.
所以我能轻松帮你做好千层面
Ben, you are a lifesaver.
本 你救了我一命
I promise I will not make a habit of it.
我保证不会老麻烦你帮我忙
I kind of made a habit of it.
其实我真想一直让他帮忙
Calm down.
淡定点
We only cut two classes,
我们只是翘了两节课
and I'll send an excuse e-mail from your mom's computer.
我会用你妈妈的电脑发一封请假邮件
I can't believe I agreed to ditch with you
真不敢相信就因为你给我半个布里奶酪三明治
just 'cause you gave me half your Brie sandwich.
我就答应跟着你翘课了
Although that party-crashing apple slice
不过那里面味道超好的苹果片
turned out to be a welcome plus-one.
给三明治增色不少
So we can make it official now.
那我们现在可以摊开说了吧
I have three gay uncles.
其实我有三个基佬舅舅[包括曼尼]
Yeah, I'm -- I'm sorry, Miles.
是的 我很抱歉 迈尔斯
No, apologize to the guys.
不 帮我跟大家道个歉
It's just, I'm too tired to play golf.
我只是太累了 打不了高尔夫
Damn it! The dog food!
该死 忘了买狗粮
Stella, this is your lucky day.
斯黛拉 你今天走运了
Gloria makes this Colombian dish
我和歌洛莉亚第一次约会的时候
I loved when we were first dating.
她做过一道我爱吃的哥伦比亚菜
I lied about a lot of things back then.
其实那时候我也说过其它的谎
What the hell are you doing?!
你在干嘛
That takes me three days!
我花了三天
Three days to prepare!
三天来准备这道菜
And then you say that you love it,
然后你说你很爱吃
and you feed it to the dog?
现在你竟然把它拿去喂狗
What else have you been lying about,
你还骗了我什么
Jay Kennedy Pritchett?
杰·肯尼迪·普里契特
杰撒谎说自己是肯尼迪家族的人
No Daddy kisses till Sunday after she eats this.
斯黛拉吃掉这菜后这周都不能跟我亲亲了
Sorry, Vicky.
对不起 维奇
We have to cancel the playdate.
今天孩子们不能一起玩了
Joe fell asleep in the car, and I don't want to wake him up.
乔在车里睡着了 我不想吵醒他
Okay.
好的
Thank God that Jay was out playing golf.
杰出去打高尔夫了真是万幸
The last time that I left Joe sleeping in the car...
上一次乔睡着了我把他忘在车里
Honey, where's Joe?
亲爱的 乔呢
Sleeping in the car.
在车里睡着呢
Are you crazy?!
你疯了吗
You don't leave a kid in the car!
你不能把小孩留在车里
Why don't you just put a sign on him
你怎么不干脆在他身上放个标志
saying "Free Coyote Food"?!
再写上"免费土狼食物"
I have never seen anyone so mad.
我没见过谁发这么大的脾气
Even the marauders, you could have a conversation with.
就算是抢匪 起码你还能跟他对上话
"Family Emergency."
"家里有急事"
"Blah, blah, blah. Gloria Pritchett."
"叽里呱啦 歌洛莉亚·普里契特"
And send.
然后发送
I hate that I have to ask this,
我真不想问出口
but you didn't type "Blah, blah, blah," did you?
但你不是真的把"叽里呱啦"打上去了吧
You need to chill...
你得放松
like my girlfriend here.
像我女朋友这样
Nah, I can't enjoy that.
不 我受不了这个
I just keep thinking about that girl's father.
我一直会想到那女孩的爸爸
Could you please just get that off my mom's computer?
你能不能别在我妈的电脑上播这玩意
Okay. That was your reward for ditching,
好吧 这是给你翘课的奖励
but if you don't want to...
但是既然你不喜欢
What "Uh-oh"?
怎么回事
Uh, it's frozen.
画面卡住了
What?!
什么
Oh, my God.
我的天哪
It froze on that?
就停在这个恶心画面
Hey. "That" Has a name.
你说的"恶心画面"是有名字的
Here, Stella. Come and get it, girl.
来 斯黛拉 来吃吧 乖孩子
Jay, is that you?
杰 是你吗
Yep.
是的
Damn it.
该死
Damn it.
该死
- Damn it! - Damn it!
-该死 -该死
- I didn't hear you come in. - That's good.
-我没听见你进屋 -那就好
Oh, how come you're home so early?
你怎么这么早就回来了
Too tired for golf.
太累 不想打高尔夫
Where's Joe?
乔呢
Upstairs.
在楼上
I finally got him to sleep.
我终于把他哄到睡着了
She wants to get out.
她想出去
- I'll take her. - No, no, no. You stay here.
-我来抱她 -不 不 你待在这里
- I'll do it. - No, you can't.
-我把她抱出去 -不行
I mean, w-we rarely get times like this anymore.
我是说 我们难得有独处的时间
Joe's sleeping, Manny is at school.
乔在睡觉 曼尼也去上学了
Why don't we go upstairs and --
不如我们上楼--
Take a nap.
睡个午觉
Exactly!
没错
My mom got picked up by a friend.
我妈坐她朋友的车
We can take her car to the computer store
我们可以开她的车去电脑店
and be back before she gets home.
在她回家前回来
She left the windows down and the lights on.
她没关窗也没关灯
Sometimes, she is so oblivious.
有时她也太不注意了
All I had to do was wait for Jay to fall asleep.
我只要等杰睡着就好
Genius.
我简直是个天才
She'd be snoring in minutes. Piece of cake.
她几分钟内就会打呼的 太简单了
We are so far away from everything.
我们离得也太远了
During the last toast, I saw them clink the glasses
他们上一次敬酒的时候 我在听到声音之前
before the sound actually reached us.
先看到了他们的碰杯
Snubbed at this wedding,
婚礼被冷落
not invited to two others...
其他两对的婚礼也没邀请我们...
what could you have possibly done?
你究竟做了什么
Sorry. I said I would switch with you at dessert.
对不起 我说了会在吃甜品的时候跟你换位子
Oh, Pepper. Pepper.
胡娇 胡娇
- Do you have any idea why... - Oh, sorry.
-你知不知道为什么... -不好意思
土豆泥是最常见也最廉价的配食
I'm in a mad rush to the mashed-potato bar
我正赶着去土豆泥桌
to restock something called...fixin's.
补一些 配食
If you ever felt anything for me,
如果你们为我着想的话
you'll push me out a window.
就把我扔出窗外吧
You know, Mitchell, m-maybe it's...
米奇尔 可能...
Look. I can't have this fight again.
我不想争论这种事了
I saw you ogling him.
我看见你向他抛媚眼了
Hey, as far as I'm concerned,
对我来说
we never have to have this fight again.
我们根本不应该再争论这种事
Mitchell, stop it.
米奇尔 别
- What? - Eavesdropping?
-怎么了 -偷听
Trolling for business?
寻求生意机会
You've been doing it
你一直这样
ever since you started handling gay divorce.
自从开始处理同性恋离婚案件
It's kind of ghoulish.
这有点吓人
- Ghoulish? - Yes.
-吓人 -没错
I'll bet that's why nobody wants us around.
肯定是因为这样才没人希望我们出现
That's it. You're like the Angel of Death of gay marriage.
就是这样 你就像是同性恋婚姻的死亡天使
You're like a cat at an old-folks' home
你就像老人家里的猫
美国都市传说 主人去世后猫饿极了会吃尸体
who curls up next to somebody about to die.
在快死的人旁边蜷着
They're judging me?
他们还配谴责我吗
Felix and Jordan sell fur.
菲利克斯和乔丹可是做动物皮草生意的
Sorry. We couldn't help overhearing you overhearing us.
不好意思 我们不小心偷听到你们在偷听我们
Some friends of ours are breaking up,
我们的一些朋友正准备分手
and they need a good divorce lawyer.
他们需要一位好的离婚律师
Do you have a card?
你有名片吗
We couldn't help overhearing you
我们不小心偷听到你们在说
talking about you overhearing you overhearing you.
你们偷听到你们偷听你们
Are you really doing gay divorces now? We had no idea.
你真的在接同性恋离婚案吗 我们都不知道
I was just overhearing you guys overhearing...
我刚偷听到你们偷听...
Good Lord, it's like a game of Princess Telephone.
我的天 这叽里呱啦的
Here is my card, and just to be clear,
这是我的名片 我想问一下
none of you knew I was doing gay divorces?
你们没有人知道我在接同性恋离婚案吗
- No. - Oh, interesting.
-不知道 -有点意思
That's very interesting. Have a good time at the wedding.
太有意思了 婚礼上玩得愉快
Well, how about this ghoulish profession
原来这份吓人的职业
that no one seems to have a problem with except for you?
除了你之外所有人都觉得没问题
Look, I'm sorry, but you've always been a little cynical,
对不起 但你一直都有点愤世嫉俗
and I was worried you seeing all these marriages collapse
我担心你看多了这些婚姻失败的案子
would push you further in that direction.
会让你不由得往那个方向发展
No, no, it's the opposite.
不 不 恰恰相反
Being around all these unhappy couples
在这些不幸夫妻身边
makes me even more grateful for what we have.
让我对我们所拥有的更加感激
That's so sweet. Are...
太感动了 你...
are you sure that's not the cash bar talking?
你确定这不是你酒喝多了随便说的吗
Of course not.
当然不是
You're the best thing that has ever happened to me.
你是我所遇过最好的事
And you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
你也是我所遇过最好的事
Oh, Cam.
小卡
Maybe this is why nobody wants us around
也许这才是没人希望我们出现的原因
is because we cause an emotional scene everywhere we go.
因为我们去到那里都那么感性
I'm sorry.
对不起
I'll never be the son he wants.
我永远都不会成为他想要的儿子
What's to become of us?
我们会变成什么样
Well, now I'm stumped.
现在可真是难倒我了
Yep. That refrigerates stuff.
没错 那可以冷藏东西
All of them do.
它们都可以
But you know the saying...
俗话说得好
All good open houses must come to an end by 2:00 on the dot.
所有好的开放参观日都要在两点准时结束
Oh, but my mom's still on her way.
可是我妈妈还在来的路上
She's giving us our down payment.
她要来给首期
You knew the rules when you married a drummer.
你嫁给一个鼓手的时候就知道要怎么做了
Are we keeping you from something?
我们妨碍到你了吗
Not one "beat."
一"拍"都没有
I have an idea.
我有个主意
Why don't we greet your mom
要不我们用刚出炉纸杯蛋糕的香味
with the smell of fresh-baked cupcakes?
来迎接你妈妈吧
The ingredients are in here.
材料在这里
Will, grab a whisk.
威尔 拿好搅拌器
I'll be back before you two are frosting.
我会在你们俩撒糖霜之前回来
I'm on my way to pick it up, Stan.
我在去取的路上 斯坦
I'll be there in like 5...
我会在5...
to 45 minutes.
至45分钟到
Okay. Cupcakes.
好吧 纸杯蛋糕
Pres...Oh, no. No.
礼 不 不
Damn it.
该死
The cupcakes burned.
纸杯蛋糕烤糊了
Well, it still smells homey.
闻起来还不错
And it gives Mom a chance
给了妈妈一个机会好好看看
to see how well this state-of-the-art smoke alarm works!
这里最先进的烟雾报警器是如何工作的
Come with me, Mom!
跟我来 妈妈
Let me show you around the rest of this dream house!
让我带你看看这幢好房子的其他部分
You see, even ironing is a delight here,
看到没 连熨衣服都是一种享受
where you can feel a cool breeze
你可以感受到从滑窗外
wafting in from the open sliders.
拂进来的微风
Mother nature!
我了个去
Huzzah! Your own gift-wrapping room,
你瞧 专属的礼物包装室
just like the rich and famous.
就像富人和名人家里的一样
Sheila, finger.
席拉 借我根手指
Go right ahead. There we go.
来吧 好的
Sorry I'm late, guys, but fear not.
不好意思我来晚了 但别担心
One birthday present.
一份生日礼物
Wrapped in baby-shower paper.
包装得像婴儿礼物一样
One crisply pressed dress.
一件熨好服帖的礼裙
With one big pleat it didn't used to have.
上边有一个之前没有的褶子
At least we know why you were late.
至少我们知道你为什么迟到了
Looks like you rescued those cupcakes
看起来你好像是从一个着火的面包店里
from a burning bakery.
救出来的那些纸杯蛋糕
Don't worry. Mom made those on the off chance
别担心 妈妈做了那些备用的蛋糕
what everyone knew was gonna happen happened.
以防万一你搞砸了 果然不出所料
She also bought me that new dress.
她还给我买了那条新裙子
Oh, and I hope you kept the receipt,
对了 希望你留了发票
because Mom bought a backup.
因为妈妈给我买了备用的礼物
Well, don't be mad at your mom for underestimating me.
好吧 别因为妈妈低估我就生她的气
Oh, how could we, when she made us
我们怎么可能生气呢
this fresh hand-churned ice cream?
她还给我们做了手工搅拌冰激凌
Yeah. What?
怎么可能
Oh, you know what we should do?
对了 你知道我们该怎么做吗
We should send her a picture of us eating it.
我们应该给她发一张我们吃冰激凌的照片
I guess it's a good thing I came home when I did.
看来我回家至少还能给你们拍张照片
It'd be better if I did it.
还是我来拍比较好
普里契特橱柜公司
You churned ice cream?
你做了冰激凌
Yeah. Did the kids like it?
是的 孩子们喜欢吗
- They loved it. - Great.
-她们爱死了 -太棒了
But they know I can't make ice cream.
但是她们知道我不会做冰激凌
I bought that churn out of a SkyMall catalog
我是喝了三杯血腥玛丽之后看了购物广告
after three Bloody Marys.
才买的那个搅拌器
It's been sitting under a tarp in my garage for six years.
它在我车库里一块布下面盖了六年了
You've got to dial it way back.
你可得多收敛收敛了
Where is this fear and anger coming from?
你为什么要害怕跟生气呢
You're gonna get us caught!
你会害我们被发现的
You knew the risks when we started this.
一开始你就知道这是有风险的
I'm just saying we're getting a little bit sloppy.
我只是说我们最近有点马虎了
All the impossible errands, the fancy sandwiches.
所有那些不可能的差事 精致的三明治
Just slap a little tuna on whole wheat
接下来的几天只要在全麦面包上涂点
- for the next couple of days. - What? N--
-吞拿鱼就够了 -你说什么 不行
Just until things cool off.
先等事情平息一段时间
All right?
好吗
I was just trying to make you happy.
我只是想让你开心点
You're not gonna stop me, are you?
你不会阻止我的 是吗
Coffee cart's only in the lobby until 4:00.
咖啡车只在大厅服务到四点
Thank you, Claire.
谢谢你 克莱尔
Thank you.
谢谢
This is mortifying.
这太没面子了
Whoever we ask to fix this
修它的人会看到我们看的东西
is gonna see what we're watching and think we're pervs.
觉得我们是变态
Not that guy.
那个人就不会
Luke?!
卢克
Hi, Marianne.
你好啊 玛丽安
You're so grown-up now.
你都长这么大了
Yeah. Uh, this is Manny.
是啊 这是曼尼
Marianne used to be our babysitter.
玛丽安以前是我们的保姆
Remember when you asked me to marry you?
还记得以前你跟我求婚吗
"I wuv you, Marianne."
"我外[爱]你 玛丽安"
Well, nice to meet you. We should get going.
很高兴见到你 我们得走了
Okay. Bye, guys. Best to your family, okay?
好吧 再见了 给家里带好
I'd like to see the look on Mawianne's face
我真想看看知道你堕落成这样之后
if she knew what a degenerate you turned into.
玛丽安脸上会是什么表情
Next.
下一个
I'm here, Kyle.
我来吧 凯尔
Hello again.
又见面了
How can I help?
我能帮你们做什么
What are we gonna do? Mom's gonna be home any minute.
我们要怎么办 我妈随时都会回来的
"Hola, papi. Have you seen my computer?"
"亲爱的 你看到我的电脑了吗"
"Oh, sure, Mom. It's over there,
"当然了 妈妈 就在那
where that naked girl's entertaining
有个没穿衣服的女孩正在里边
her school's basketball team."
取悦她学校的篮球队员呢"
I'm face-timing Alex.
我跟艾丽克斯视频一下
She'll know what to do.
她会知道怎么办
What's up, Luke?
怎么了 卢克
Computer glitch. The screen's frozen.
电脑出了点小问题 屏幕不动了
- Let me see. - I'd rather not.
-让我看看 -还是不要了
So porn.
所以是黄片
Well, I just have to finish this paper.
好吧 我先把这篇论文写完
I'll call you in an hour.
我一小时后打给你
Oh, hey there, cutie pie.
你好呀 小可爱
Thank you, Alex, but could you please hurry
谢谢夸奖 艾丽克斯 但你能快点写
- and call us back? - I was talk--
-然后给我们回电话吗 -我是和
She knows I'm forbidden fruit.
她知道我对她而言就是禁果
I'm sure that's half the appeal.
我确信她因此更被我吸引了
Jay!
Jay?
How long since you have been up?
你醒了多久了
Oh, about a minute before you.
我醒了没多久
Oh, can you do me a favor?
你能帮我个忙吗
Can you go and look at the laundry?
你能不能去看看洗的衣服
I think it's done.
我觉得好像洗好了
Sure, but, honey, I think I slept kind of weird.
当然了 但是亲爱的 我睡得有点不舒服
Could you run back upstairs and get me my heating pad?
你能去楼上帮我把加热垫拿下来吗
Why is Stella going crazy there?
斯黛拉为什么拼命要去那里
Stella, get out of here!
斯黛拉 快走开
Hi, there. How's everybody doing?
你们好 大家都怎么样啊
What's up with Stella?
斯黛拉怎么了
Where have you two been?
你们俩去哪了
Is that my computer?!
那是我的电脑吗
- Don't open that! - Don't open that!
-别打开它 -别打开它
- Is that Joe's plane? - Don't open that!
-那是乔的飞机吗 -别开门
A lot of unanswered questions here, it seems like.
看起来这有不少未解之谜啊
Why don't we all just...take a step back?
我看我们都先各退一步
Nice and easy.
放轻松
Okay, so...
好了 所以
now I am going to go and take a little walk.
我现在要出去散个步
Luke and I have some homework to do upstairs.
卢克和我要上楼做作业
And I'm going... to the little boy's room.
而我 要去小朋友的房间
They have taken pictures at every table but ours.
除了我们这里 他们每桌都拍了照片
Because their photographer isn't Diane Arbus.
因为他们的摄影师不是黛安·阿勃斯
美国著名新纪实摄影家
Who else would want a record of this Fever Dream?
不然还有谁愿意记录这场《热夜之梦》
关于吸血鬼的故事
Are you gonna finish this?
你还要吃这个吗
They didn't budget a staff meal.
他们没准备工作餐
It's our own fault we're poor.
我们穷是我们自己的错
When we had money,
我们有钱的时候
we spent it all on drunken sailors.
把钱都花来雇喝醉的水手了
You mean "like drunken sailors"?
你是想说"像喝醉的水手一样花钱"吧
Sure.
当然了
Pepper, before you run off again,
胡娇 你走之前
why is almost everyone here treating us like pariahs?
为什么所有人都当我们像贱民一样
Well, you didn't help yourselves by the cold way
你们不是冰冷地拒绝了
you declined those last two wedding invitations.
前两个婚礼邀请吗
We didn't get those invitations.
我们没有收到邀请啊
I got the RSVPs myself
但我收到你们的回复了啊
to Adam and Michael and Felix and Jordan.
给亚当和迈克以及菲利克斯和乔丹的回复
Just a big "X" In the "Will Not Attend" Box.
只在"无法出席"那一栏画了个大叉
No excuse, no gift.
没有理由 没有礼物
Of course you put people off.
你当然可以引起别人的不快
It's just not classy.
只是这并没什么风度
How old are these pudding cups?!
这些布丁得放了多少天了
Come, carino.
过来 亲爱的
There's a vending machine in the lobby.
在大厅里有个自动售货机
If I lie down next to it,
如果我在它旁边倒下了
will you push it over on me?
你会把它推到我身上让我死吗
How could we RSVP to wedding invitations that we never got?
为什么我们回复了从未收到的婚礼邀请函
Okay, party people, on your feet.
参加聚会的人们 让我们跳起来吧
You guys cool if I take off?
如果我提前离开 你俩有意见吗
No. Sweetie, what's been going on with you?
不 亲爱的 你怎么了
You've wanted to leave since we got here.
自从我们到这你就想着走
Hey, y'all coming?
你们都去跳舞吗
Might as well.
管它呢 去跳吧
Come on, Lily. Let's go dance.
走啦 莉莉 我们去跳舞
No! No dancing. It's too embarrassing.
不 不跳 这太尴尬了
No. You're a good dancer, sweetie.
不是的 你跳得非常棒 亲爱的
Not me. You two.
不是说我 说你们呢
What?
什么
You don't like our dancing? Why?
你不喜欢我们跳舞 为什么
Why?
还问为什么
You're not good. That's why I hate weddings.
你们跳得并不好 所以我讨厌婚礼
Wait, Lily, did you RSVP to some weddings
等等 莉莉 你是不是回复了一些婚礼邀请
and not tell us?
却没有告诉我们
Yes. Punish me, ground me.
是的 惩罚我吧 给我禁足吧
I just can't watch it again.
我就是不想看你俩跳舞的丑态了
Oh, you're gonna be punished.
你绝对会被惩罚的
Mitchell, wait. I know how she feels.
米奇尔 等一下 我理解她的感受
Did we really embarrass you that bad?
我俩真的令你那么难堪吗
Well, yeah. I mean, I still love you, but...
是的 我依然爱你们 但
Why are your shoulders moving?
为什么你的肩膀在动
Well, we always knew there
我们一直知道
would be something you didn't like about us.
我们俩有某些地方让你厌烦
We're just glad that
我们只是很高兴
it's something we're so good at.
令你不快的竟是我们如此擅长的事情
If anybody asks, I'm with you.
如果有人问起 就说我是和你们一起来的
Yes, Gavin, I got everything you asked for,
是的 加文 我准备好了你要的
and I'm on my way.
而且我马上到
All these errands I have to do for my boss.
我要给老板做这么多跑腿的事
I swear, if it wasn't for me,
我发誓如果要不是因为我
he'd never get anything.
他什么也弄不好
Haley, please. I'm trying to figure out
海莉 拜托 我正试图弄清
how your mom's getting all these things done by yourself.
你妈妈是如何自己完成那么多事的
When Haley finally gave me a chance to hear myself think,
当海莉给了我一个倾听自己心声的机会
it hit me.
我突然想到了
Could Claire be using an assistant?
会不会是克莱尔请了个助手
I decided to retrace every errand she allegedly ran today
我决定追溯今天她说的每件差事
and time it out.
并且计算时间
普里契特橱柜公司
She was in meetings from 9:00 A.M. To 1:30,
从早上九点到下午一点半她在开会
leaving her a 90-minute window to buy Haley's dress,
假设她有九十分钟来买海莉的裙子
see Stan at Best Buy for Alex's present,
到商场找斯坦取艾丽克斯的礼物
then speed home,
然后开车回家
where she could start baking the cupcakes,
然后她可以开始烤纸杯蛋糕
drag the churn in from the garage,
从车库里把冰淇淋搅拌器搬出来
churn, wrap, and frost,
搅拌 包装 上霜
leaving her a scant eight minutes at school pick-up time
她还剩不到八分钟在学校放学路段拥挤的时刻
to race back for her 3:00 staff meeting.
加速赶回公司参加三点的员工会议
普里契特橱柜公司
Even if all 14 traffic lights on her route were green,
即使在她路上全部十四盏交通灯都是绿的
this task would be...
这项任务也会是
Impossible.
不可能完成的
I don't know who made that ice cream,
我不知道冰激凌是谁做的
but Daddy was about to churn up a frosty bowl
但是爸爸我即将在一个满是霜冻的大碗掀起风暴
of "Mom's A Big Fake."
这个碗就叫"妈妈是个大骗子"
Ben, what are you still doing here?
本 你还在这里做什么
I'm just making sandwiches for the kids.
我只是正在为孩子们做三明治
Don't worry. They'll never know.
不用担心 他们绝不会知道
I'm using store-brand Gouda and this domestic mustard.
我用的是商店卖的高德干酪和家用芥末
No, you don't understand.
不 你不懂
My husband could be home any minute.
我丈夫可能会在任何时候回家来
You've got to leave.
你必须得走了
What is this?
这是什么
"Thanks for the advice, Mom. It worked great."
"谢谢你的建议 老妈 太有用了"
What advice?
什么建议
Oh, well, you left your phone on your desk,
你把手机落在了你桌上
and Alex texted when you were in that staff meeting.
当你开员工会议时艾丽克斯发来短信
She seemed really upset, so I took care of it.
她看起来很沮丧 所以我处理了一下
It was, like, boy stuff, whatever.
大概就是男孩子那些事
Ben, we got to stop doing this.
本 我们必须停止这样做了
No, it's fine. I just said what you would have said.
没事的 我只是说了你会说的话
But I didn't say anything.
但我什么也没说
I-I wasn't there for my daughter at all.
我根本没在我女儿身边
I-I'm so damn busy trying to be the perfect mom
我忙得焦头烂额尝试做一个完美妈妈
and -- and the perfect boss,
以及完美的老板
but I'm outsourcing the one job that means the most to me,
但我却把对我来说最重要的工作外包了出去
and I really miss it.
我很怀念这份工作
I miss being a mom.
我怀念当个妈妈
Even if I'm a so-so mom
即使我只是个一般的妈妈
that barely has time to make a soggy tuna-fish sandwich, I...
很少有时间做一个没烤熟的金枪鱼三明治
- Then you should get back to that. - Yeah.
-那你应该回归到这个角色 -是的
And I should get back to the office.
我应该回办公室了
Oh, no. Ben, you don't have to do that.
不 本 你不需要这么做
It's so late.
太晚了
No, I do.
不晚 我必须这么做
My mom's got a "date" With her new boyfriend,
我妈妈和她的新男友有个约会[炮]
so I'm gonna crash in the showroom.
所以我得到样板间里过夜了
Thank you.
谢谢你
So, before you open this, I just want to say
在你打开这个之前 我只想说
this is not the kind of thing I'm usually in to.
这不是我通常会看的东西
Let's not.
少扯了
It's all him, by the way.
顺便说一下 只有他在看
No kidding.
我也信
Oh, don't show it to me!
别打开来让我看到啊
CTRL+Alt CTRL-Alt-Ew.
Oh, God. Please, tell me it worked.
天啊 请告诉我修好了
It worked.
修好了
Just so you know,
给你们提个醒
women are not all vacuous nymphomaniacs
不是所有女人都是空虚的女色情狂
looking to seduce every man that crosses their path.
等着诱惑每一个路过的男人
Bye, you dirty little boy!
再见 脏[下流]小男孩
Kind of a mixed message right?
所以她到底是不是在诱惑我
I'll talk to her.
我会跟她谈谈的