摩登家庭 第七季 Modern Family Season 7 第16集: The CoverUp

上映日期: 2,015

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧

导演: James Alan Hensz

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·


台词
Thank you.
谢谢
Samples!
有试喝
Excuse me, do I know you?
打扰一下 我认识你吗
I don't think so.
恐怕不吧
You look so familiar. Why am I picturing a bench ad?
你好面熟 我怎么想到了长椅上的广告
Minor celebrity. Guilty as charged.
小有名气 不得不承认了
You're the "Accidentes" guy.
你是牙医广告上那个人
No. No, no, no.
不 不 不
Um, I'm, uh...
我是...
I'm Mr. Real Estate -- Phil Dunphy.
我是房地产先生 菲尔·邓菲
Oh, right.
I am actually looking for a house right now.
其实我最近正在找房子
Well, if I could be of any service...
如果我能帮得上忙的话
I don't -- I don't have any cards.
我没 我手头没有名片
I'm in my gym clothes.
我穿的是去健身房的衣服
Oh, I see you earned that hot chocolate.
看来那杯热巧克力是锻炼后的奖赏啦
Yeah, I rocked a pretty intense
是啊 我刚刚进行了一次
Shake Weights/Power Walk Combo.
高强度摇哑铃快步走
Morning, neighbors.
早上好 邻居们
Saw your daughter yesterday. Boy, she is growing up fast.
我昨天看到了你女儿 家有小女初长成
My name is Angie.
我叫安吉
Here is my number.
这是我的号码
If you find any good three-bedrooms in the neighborhood,
如果你在这附近有看到什么三卧室的房子
I'd love to see them.
可以介绍我看看
Well, I'll call you. I'd love to show them to you.
我会给你打电话的 很愿意带你看房
I'm not just a pretty face people sit on.
我可不只有一张让人们坐的帅脸[板凳广告]
Forget...I said that.
当作没听见吧
Here you go.
来了
Oh, thanks, honey.
谢谢 亲爱的
Who's Angie?
安吉是谁
Just a woman I m-met inside.
我刚在里面见到的一个女的
Really? She gave you her number?
是吗 她还给你她的号码了
And dotted her "i" with a little heart?
还把"i"上的点画成了小爱心
Oh, yeah. She's looking for a house.
对啦 她在找房子
Sweet old lady.
温柔的老女人
Don't know why I said that.
我不知道我为什么那么说
Little overweight.
有点胖
No idea where that came from.
不知道我怎么想的
Thick Irish accent.
非常重的爱尔兰口音
I panicked!
我慌神了
I should have told the truth,
我应该说实话的
but Claire knows I have... a type.
但是克莱尔知道我 有个喜欢的类型
It was just a little white lie.
那只是个善意[白人]的谎言
Ironically.
很讽刺吧
家 庭
摩 登
第七季 第十六集
Hey, America!
你好 美国
I didn't see you there.
我没看到你们来了
Welcome to another live webcast of "Jay Talking."
欢迎来到全新的网络直播节目"杰说心语"
杰说心语杰·普里契特
You know what really gets my goat?
你们知道我很讨厌什么吗
Goat cheese.
山羊奶酪
It's on everything.
到处都有
I hate it.
我讨厌死了
The only thing worse than goat cheese
唯一比山羊奶酪更讨厌的是
is eating it at a communal table
跟一些在室内戴帽子的傻瓜
with some jerk wearing a hat inside.
一起在公共场合吃那玩意儿
Have some respect.
放尊重点
And pull up your pants!
把裤子拉上去
有些胖子裤子提不上去 弯腰的时候屁股缝会漏出来
Only crack I want to see is in the Liberty Bell.
我唯一想看到的裂纹是独立钟上的那条
Greatest country on the damn planet.
地球上最棒的国家
If, six months ago,
如果六个月前
you'd have told me I'd have a big Internet show,
你告诉我我会办一个很厉害的网络节目
I would have said, "Yeah, that adds up."
我会说那挺合理的
I used to entertain my staff with jokes and observations.
我以前常常用笑话和评论逗乐我的员工们
When I retired,
我退休后
I started sharing those gems around the house.
我开始也在这家里这么干
Manny went so nuts for it, he set up the whole webcast.
结果曼尼太喜欢了 于是建了个网络直播站
Sorry, Internet. He's your problem now.
抱歉 互联网 把锅甩给你们了
Bottom line, you can keep your hashtags,
你们一天圈这人圈那人倒还不那么招人厌
'cause I like hashbrowns.
因为我喜欢炸薯饼[谐音]
But, hey...
但是...
that's just "Jay Talking."
那只是"杰说心语"
And we're out.
结束了
90 minutes just flew by.
90分钟时间飞逝
Hey, guys!
各位
The comments are already rolling in!
评论已经进来了
"Keep it up, Jay."
"继续下去 杰"
"You're saying what we're all thinking."
"你说的正是我们想的"
"I miss Chop Suey, too."
"我也好想念炒杂碎[美式中菜]"
I love it,
我爱死了
because now everybody gets to see what I live with.
因为大家都会看到我天天要忍受什么了
What the hell? This guy again?
什么情况 又是这个家伙
Who?
Some meatball named "LadyKiller52"
一个名叫"女士杀手52"的傻瓜
been dogging me for days.
已经连续骚扰我好几天了
Look what he wrote.
看看他写了什么
"Hey, Grandpa, no one cares what you think."
“老头 没人管你想什么"
Are you sure that that's not from Haley?
你确定那不是海莉说的吗
Here's another one. The same jerk!
这还有一条 还是那个傻瓜发的
"It's weird you don't like goat cheese
"真奇怪你居然不喜欢山羊奶酪"
when you've got a goat face."
"你长得就像山羊啊"
Well, that makes no sense.
这说不通啊
What kind of goat eats its own cheese?
什么山羊会吃自己的奶酪啊
Here I am, trying to make America laugh and think,
我来这里 想为美国人带来欢笑 引发思考
and this hockey puck's coming at me with tired insults.
结果这个傻瓜老是跑来骂我
Okay, I-it's called a troll, Jay.
好吧 他就是在故意煽动 杰
But you can't let him or anything else
但你不能让他或者任何什么事情
keep you from directing all of your opinions
阻止你把你的所有想法
into that computer.
都传到电脑里
You're right, Manny.
没错 曼尼
It's tough being in the public eye.
做公众人物确实不容易
Now I know why Sinatra was always punching guys.
总算知道辛纳特拉[美国歌手]为什么老打人了
Hola, Claire.
好啊 克莱尔
What's going on?
怎么了
You do a lot of yoga, right?
你经常做瑜伽对吧
Ah, I used to.
以前啦
But all those judgy vegans
但是跟那些扎着马尾
with their ponytails and their Lululemon,
穿着紧身裤的圣母严格素食主义者在一起
I'm like, "Nama-stay home," You know what I mean?
我觉得自己土鳖还是待在家里算了 你懂吧
I just started taking it,
我刚开始学
but I think that the instructor is hitting on me.
但我觉得那个教练喜欢上我了
- He is. - How do you know?
-没错 -你怎么知道
Because you're you in yoga pants.
因为你穿着瑜伽裤[很紧绷]呢
Just go to another class.
换个课上吧
But this one is perfect.
但是这课真的很好
It's at the same time as Joe's Gymboree,
正好跟乔去上金宝贝同一时间
right next door.
又在隔壁
Ay, why don't you come with me today
要不你跟我一起去
and tell me if I'm just being crazy?
然后告诉我是不是我想太多了
Sure. Text me the info.
行啊 把具体信息发给我
Hey, remind her!
提醒她
And don't forget --
别忘了
today, all-new episode of "Jay Talking".
今天有全新一集的"杰说心语"哦
He takes on restaurants
他要聊聊那些
that write their menus on blackboards.
把菜单写在黑板上的饭馆
I want to feel a menu in my hands!
我想要菜单在我手里的感觉
Hey, girl.
姐们
- What are you doing? - Nothing.
-你要干什么 -没什么
Just wanted to say hi, talk about stuff.
就是想跟你打个招呼 聊点事情
What stuff?
什么事情
I don't know. I just miss you.
我不知道 我只是想你了
We could talk about anything.
什么都可以聊啊
How about... Watergate?
聊聊 水门事件怎么样
were the three most significant ways
改变美国政治最重要的
Like, what would you say
比如 你觉得
it changed American politics?
三个方面是什么
Cite your sources.
把引文也说一下
I'm not writing your essay.
我不会帮你写论文的
Okay. See you at Easter.
好吧 复活节见
I'm back.
我回来了
How'd your showing with Angie-with-a-heart go?
带"小心心"安吉看房看得怎么样了
Oh, fine. Uneventful.
还好吧 都挺正常的
Nondescript.
乏善可陈
This shower's really small.
这个淋浴房好小啊
Could you imagine me in here?
你能想象我用这浴室吗
Weird thing -- I was with her for two hours,
非常奇怪 我跟她在一起待了两个小时
I couldn't pick her out of a crowd.
放在人群里我还是认不出她
Really? That is weird.
真的吗 太奇怪了
Nothing weird about it.
没什么奇怪的啊
You just said it was weird.
你刚刚说那很奇怪
That's weird. Give me a kiss!
那确实很奇怪 亲一个
What are you up to, buddy?
你在干什么呢 兄弟
Writing a paper on President Nixon.
写一篇关于尼克松总统的论文
What an idiot.
好傻啊
He had it all and just threw it away
他拥有了一切 又因为一些愚蠢的谎言
because of some stupid lie.
失去了这一切
Well, maybe it came out of his mouth
也许他说出口之前
before he knew what he was saying.
都不知道自己在说什么
Okay, but then he just kept lying over and over
然后他的谎越撒越多
and making it worse and worse.
接着要用更多的谎去圆
Phil, how old is Angie?
菲尔 安吉多大
Oh, uh, gosh... 70. Why?
70岁 怎么了
I was thinking about that house on Forsyth.
我在想福赛斯街那套房子
It's nice but has a lot of stairs.
挺不错的 就是楼梯多了点
No. She's too... fat for that.
不 她太胖了没法住
Therefore, I shall resign the presidency
因此 我将从今天中午起
effective at noon tomorrow.
辞去总统职务
If only he had told the truth.
他要是说实话就好了
He was in too deep!
他陷得太深了
Check out what I got!
看看我买了什么
No, thanks.
不用了 谢谢
Thought we could go to the park tomorrow
我们明天可以去公园
and you could finally learn.
这样你就可以开始尝试学了
What pavement tastes like?
尝尝水泥地的味道吗
I don't think so.
我不想去
Well, Lily, when you're ready, it's here for you.
莉莉 等你准备好了随时可以用
Mitchell, can I, um, speak to you in the bedroom
米奇尔 我们能去卧室
about the, uh, dust ruffle?
聊聊床罩的事吗
Don't worry -- the dust ruffle's leaving.
别担心 "床罩"现在就走
Okay, why are you doing this?
你干嘛这么做
We need Lily to get on this bike.
我们得让莉莉学会骑车
Why are you pushing this so hard?
你为什么那么逼她这么紧
She's clearly afraid.
很明显她害怕
She's been afraid of a lot of things lately.
她最近怕很多事
Last week, she wouldn't even open her closet door
上周 她连衣橱门都不开
because she thought something scary was in there.
因为她觉得里面有可怕的东西
Could be the denim jumpsuit your mom made her.
可能是你妈给她做的牛仔连身裤
This is a pivotal moment.
这是个关键时刻
We can't raise a child
我们的孩子绝不能
who won't ride a bike or get on an airplane
连车都不会骑 或者害怕上飞机
or eat mayonnaise.
或者不吃蛋黄酱
It's a texture thing. How does egg become that?
跟口感有关 鸡蛋怎么会变成那个样子
We are doing this tomorrow. She is getting on this bike.
明天学定了 她一定要骑上这部车
What's the rush? She's 8 years old.
你急什么啊 她才八岁
Most Vietnamese kids her age are already riding a bike to work.
大部分她同龄的越南孩子都骑着单车去工作了
So, where's Mahatma Handsy?
圣雄之手在哪
I noticed that you have a lot of these yoga puns.
我知道你很会玩瑜伽方面的双关语
I don't think we need any more.
我觉得我们不需要用那些
Namaste.
合十礼
Okay. Now I get the one from before.
好吧 他还是老样子
We haven't met.
我们没见过吧
Claire.
克莱尔
Claire.
克莱尔
Beautiful.
你真美
Like the sunrise in Tanjung Rhu.
就像唐君鲁的日出一般
You have a great yoga body. You've done this before?
你身材很适合练瑜伽 以前练过吗
Um, yeah. I mean, it's been a little while, but yeah.
挺久以前了 不过我是练过
Great posture, strong core.
姿势很棒 很有力量
We're going to have fun.
你会享受一番的
Maybe I've just been stressed lately, but I was wrong.
也许我最近压力有点大 不过我错了
Yoga felt good.
瑜伽很有意思
We are lifting our hips towards the ceiling.
把臀部撅向天花板
Very nice, Claire.
很棒 克莱尔
Ra was very supportive.
拉很擅长指导
Maybe I just never had the right teacher.
也许是我以前没找对教练
Am I doing it right?
我做对了吗
And they validate parking.
而且还能免费停车
Another one?
又来了一条
I've had it with this LadyKiller son of a bitch.
我受够了这个叫女士杀手的混蛋
He's been lobbing insults all night.
他一整晚都在骂我的视频
"Hey, dumbbell, I can smell your breath through the Internet."
"蠢货 我能透过网络闻到你的呼吸"
They can't do that, right?
这应该不可能吧
Jay, take it from a fellow performer --
杰 听听我这个局外人的意见
If you're going to put yourself out there,
如果你决定成为公众人物
you need to let the criticism roll off your back.
那就要做好面对负面评论的
I must say, I was impressed you didn't mope for a month
说真的 我蛮惊讶的 你居然没有因为
after that brutal review of you in "Sound of Music".
对你《音乐之声》上表现的恶评抑郁一整个月
What are you talking about? There was no review.
你说什么呢 哪有评论啊
There was no school paper that week.
那周学校没有校报
Eeeeeexactly. There was no paper that week.
就是啊 那周没有校报
Oh, yeah.
对啊
What did you do?
你做了什么
I...
I am not going to stand here
我不会傻站在这里
and let you accuse me of stealing all of those papers!
让你把校报被偷的错都怪在我身上
He didn't say that.
他没那么说
"After seeing Manny Delgado
"看过曼尼·迪尔加多"
mangle the role of Captain Von Trapp,
"演崩了的冯特拉普上校"
all I can say is "Doe-a-dear Lord, make it stop.
"我只想说 上帝啊 让他停下吧"
I am 16 going on antidepressants.
"搞得我年纪轻轻就得开始吃抗抑郁药了"
I wanted to climb every mountain and jump off."
"我想爬上所有山峰然后跳下来"
What teacher allowed this?
什么老师会允许这种文章
Hey, Grandpa.
爷爷好
Hi, honey!
亲爱的
Oh, I'm so glad you called.
真高兴你打电话过来
I've just been having the worst week.
我这周真是太糟糕了
It's been so overwhelming and so much --
我压力太大了
You know what helps? A cocktail.
你知道该怎么办吗 喝杯鸡尾酒
Listen, I've got a situation.
听着 我现在有个问题
Do you know any computer nerds
你认识能够在网上
that can track someone down on the Internet?
查到人家身份的电脑死宅吗
Yeah, I think I can find a few.
我应该认识一些
Okay! How exciting is this, Lily?
好了 很激动吧 莉莉
In no time at all, you're gonna be a bike rider.
马上你就能学会骑单车了
Or a corpse. Okay...
或者变成一具尸体
I know you're afraid, and sometimes it's helpful
我知道你害怕 要是你能够说出
if you say exactly what you're afraid of out loud.
自己究竟怕什么 会更有帮助
So...?
所以呢
I'm afraid I'll fall
我害怕自己会摔倒
because I'm not ready and you forced me,
因为我还没准备好而你一直逼我
so for the rest of my life, I'll hold it against you.
我下半辈子都会记着这仇了
And then other times,
而在其他时间
it's just best to tamp it down and soldier on.
还是应该克服困难坚持去学
I said this when you pried her out of the car,
你把她从车上拽出来的时候我就说过了
and I'll say this again -- she doesn't want to do this!
我再说一遍 她不想学
She will when she sees how easy it is for me.
她看到这有多简单就会想学了
See? Easy as pie!
看吧 小菜一碟
Okay, look, Lily, if you don't want to do this --
莉莉 如果你不想学
- I don't want to do this. - Okay.
-我不想学 -好吧
I'm good!
我没事
Um... look. All right. I'm gonna talk to Daddy.
听着 我会去跟爸爸说
But just promise me you'll learn someday, okay?
不过答应我你总有一天会学的
And that you'll get on a plane.
还有你会去坐飞机
Why wouldn't I get on a plane? What's wrong with them?
我为什么会不想上飞机 什么情况
Nothing. They're safer than cars.
没事 飞机比车安全
Cars aren't safe?! Oh, my God.
车不安全吗 天哪
Okay! Look -- here's Daddy.
大爸来了
Here we are, safe and sound!
我平安地回来了
- What's wrong? -Nothing.
-发生什么事了 -没什么
I just think I left the oven on at home after breakfast,
我想到吃完早餐以后忘了关烤箱
so we should get going.
我们得走了
Thank God.
谢天谢地
No, you had cereal for breakfast.
你早上吃的是麦片
What's going on?
发生什么事了
I wiped out, and I think I broke my arm.
我摔了一跤 好像把胳膊摔折了
I've never been in so much pain.
我从来没这么疼过
Keep smiling.
保持微笑
Got to get you to an ER.
得送你去急诊室
No, don't! No, no!
不 不要 不要
If Lily sees me hurt, she's never gonna get on a bike.
莉莉要是看到我受伤肯定不会想学骑车的
You crashed because of that shirtless jogger, didn't you?
你摔是因为那个慢跑的裸男吧
Oh, my God. Right?
天啊 他是有够性感
Oh, Gloria! I was wondering if you were gonna be here today.
歌洛莉亚 我刚还在想你今天会不会来
What are you doing here?
你来干什么
I got to say, I thought I was over yoga,
我得说 我还以为我已经厌倦瑜伽了
but yesterday was a real eye-opener.
可是昨天真是让我大开眼界
"Eye" or "Thigh"?
大开"眼界"还是"腿界"啊
I thought it was a very challenging class,
我觉得这个课很有挑战性
and I don't really appreciate anything else you're implying,
还有我不太喜欢你暗示的东西
'cause you're a little...
因为你有点...
I'm what?
我怎么了
Jealous.
嫉妒
Of what? Of him rubbing you
嫉妒什么 嫉妒他蹭你吗
like he was expecting a genie to come out?
蹭得好像要把灯灵放出来了吗
Look, you are so used to being the center of men's attention
你一直都习惯成为男性的关注焦点
that yesterday, it probably bothered you that I... got some.
昨天你可能有点不开心 因为我也得到了
Attention. That's all. Just attention.
关注 仅此而已 仅仅是关注
That's insane. I am a married woman.
你疯了吗 我都结婚了
I am used to getting no attention.
我一直都得不到什么关注
No, Angie, you're like right around the corner from me.
不 安吉 你离我只有一个转角
Yeah, turn left, walk west,
对 向左转 朝西走
and I'll see you in front of the hair salon.
我们美发沙龙门口见
All right. See you in a minute.
好的 待会儿见
Phil?
菲尔
No!
不要啊
What are you guys up to?
你们准备干什么去
I have a yoga class.
我要上瑜伽课
And, apparently, Claire does, too.
很明显 克莱尔也要一起去
What are you doing here?
你在这里干嘛
Oh, just on my way to show more houses
正准备带我的胖爱尔兰客户
to my fat, Irish client, Angie O'Plasty.
安吉·整容婆去看房子
I'm going in.
我要进去了
I will tell Ra that you're here.
我会告诉拉你到了
Ra is our yoga instructor.
拉是我们的瑜伽教练
Oh, she must be great. You're here two days in a row.
她肯定很厉害 你都连续两天来这儿了
She is great.
她是挺厉害的
She's a little old.
就是年纪有点大
Don't know why I said that.
真不清楚我为啥那么说
I got to go.
我得进去了
See you black home.
回[黑]家见
Pretty sure I know why I said that.
非常清楚我为什么那么说
This is the most pain I've ever been in in my life.
这是我人生中最大的伤痛
And a horse once kicked me into an electric fence.
况且我曾经还被马一脚踢到电铁丝网上呢
Well, C-Cam, yeah, you broke your arm.
好了小卡 你的胳膊断了
You got to go to the hospital.
你得去医院
No. Not yet.
不 不着急
I'll go in, draw myself a bath,
我先进房 泡个澡
pretend to fall and break my arm.
然后假装滑倒把胳膊给摔断了
In the meantime, go get those painkillers
与此同时 你把你扭伤脚的时候
that they gave you when you twisted your ankle.
用的止痛药拿来
Oh, I think I threw those away.
我好像已经扔了
Did you?
真的吗
Or are they in the nightstand next to your bed
还是你把它们放在你枕边的床头柜上了
because they go good with a glass of wine?
因为它们是很好的红酒伴侣
Dad?
大爸
Yeah?
怎么了
Can you open these?
你能把这个打开吗
'Course I can.
当然可以了
Well? Will you?
好 那你开吧
Uh...sure. Yeah. Now?
可以呀 现在就要开吗
Let's see here.
试试看
Ooh, you know what?
那啥
There's a fun way to open these
要开这个其实有个很好玩的办法
I don't know if I've ever taught you.
不知道我有没有教过你
There! Whoopsie-daisy!
搞定 我的妈呀
Bon appetit. Bath time!
祝你吃得开心 洗澡时间到
Okay, so, I got the --
好了 我拿来了
What happened here?
这是怎么回事
Daddy opened the chips.
大爸开的薯片
With what -- a snowblower?
用什么开的 吹雪机吗
Oh, I wonder what that noise was.
那是什么声音呢
I hope Daddy's okay!
真希望大爸没事
- Daddy! - Oh, no!
-大爸 -噢 不
Looks like you fell and broke your, uh, left arm.
你看上去好像滑倒了 摔断了左手臂
No, Mitchell, I fell. I really fell.
不 米奇尔 我摔了 真心摔了
- Oh, really? - Really.
-这是真的吗 -真的
Are you okay?
你没事吧
My head hurts. And my arm.
头好痛 手臂也好痛
I'm never taking a bath again!
我再也不要洗澡了
Oh, great.
这下好了
Too bad you didn't fall off a stripper pole.
你没从钢管上掉下来真是不幸
I-I'm sorry.
对不起
That is the left. Left.
那是左手臂 在左手边
Well, this is the address Alex's nerds gave me,
艾丽克斯找的电脑宅给我的地址就是这儿
but it's not where I pictured a troll living.
但我觉得这不像是挑衅鬼住的地方
"After his performance in 'The Sound of Music,'"
"自从主演《音乐之声》"
"Christopher Plummer went on to a distinguished acting career."
"克里斯托弗·普卢默走上了杰出演员之路"
After Delgado's performance, I expect he'll go on
"而自从看了迪尔加多的表演 我认为"
"to a distinguished plumbing career."
"他可以走上杰出水管工[谐音普卢默]之路"
Focus! I need you to film this for my show tomorrow.
专心点 你得给我明天的节目拍好这段
美国传统教育允许用拳头解决问题 但要自己承担责任 同时未成年人不打比自己小的 成年人不打未成年人
By the way, if the punk's under 18, you have to hit him.
还有如果这个废物未成年 就得靠你揍他了
What?! I never agreed to that!
什么 我可没同意这点
Pritchett?
普里契特
Earl?
厄尔
杰的前合作伙伴 "衣柜衣柜衣柜"公司老板
You've got to be kidding me.
你是在逗我吧
What the hell are you doing here?
你来这里干什么
I'm here to punch LadyKiller in his fat face.
我来打女士杀手的肥脸
I'm sorry. Can we start over? I was on "Photo."
抱歉能再来一遍吗 我调的是拍照模式
Go ahead. Any time.
继续吧 我准备好了
You're pathetic.
你真可悲
I crushed you in the closet game,
我在衣柜生意上狠狠打败了你
and I'm crushing it on the Internet.
我也要在互联网上打败你
Put that rat down, and I'll crush you on your porch.
把那耗子放下 我要把你打趴在门口
Like that is gonna be any more painful than your stupid rant,
这样也比不上你的没脑乱叫让人痛苦
"When did restaurants get so loud?"
"餐厅什么时候变得这么吵了"
I should have known it was you --
我早该知道是你
all those typos from your stubby fingers.
你的短胖小手指打了那么多错字
Watch it. I got my mother's hands.
怎么说话呢 我的手是像我妈
You also have your mother's mustache.
你的猥琐胡子也像你妈
- Hold this! - Hold this.
-拿着 -帮我拿着
That went on for a good 20 seconds.
整整撕了二十秒
Why do we keep doing this?!
我们干嘛要一直互撕
Who knows?
谁知道呢
Isn't it obvious?
你们还看不出来吗
You two need each other. It's what drives you.
你们两个彼此需要 这就是原因
The kid is right.
这孩子说得对
Beating you is half the reason I get out of bed.
我起床有一半原因是为了战胜你
Locking horns.
纠缠不休的角斗
We made each other better
我们促使彼此变得更好
than I ever thought we could be.
比我想象的还要好
Pushed each other to greatness.
把对方推到了伟大的高度上
We touched the sky.
不能更高
We're talking about closets here, right?
但是我们说的是衣柜生意 对吧
Oh, I'm sorry -- You mean the sanctuary
抱歉 你是在说那个
where a man dons his armor in the morning
让男人早晨得以充分武装
and takes stock of the battle at night?!
夜晚总结回顾一天战斗的圣所吗
The one thing we all have in common --
我们所有人拥有的一个共同点
presidents to postmen, tycoons to teachers,
不管是总统还是邮递员 大亨还是教师
from sea to shining sea!
穿越四海
This is taking a weird turn.
这剧情转变得也太诡异了
We did kind of bring out the best in each other,
我们的确让彼此展现出了最好的一面
didn't we?
不是吗
Why did you have to retire, Pritchett?
你干嘛非得退休呢 普里契特
I miss the fire.
我想念我们之间的火花
I guess I miss it, too.
我猜我也无法割舍
All right, here's something.
好吧 我想说
What if we do the show together?
我们一起拍视频秀怎么样
What? No!
什么 不要
I'm not gonna let you glom onto my new hit show!
我才不会让你盯上我的新晋热门秀呢
43 views.
阅读量只有43
We could do like a -- like a point/counterpoint kind of thing.
我们可以做一期观点对立的那种节目
Like I would say something like, uh...
比如说我提出一个观点 像...
"Let's get rid of pennies," And you would say...
"废弃美分吧" 然后你的观点是
Of course we should get rid of pennies!
我们当然该弃用美分
They're annoying to own
美分用起来太烦了
and make you feel bad when you throw them out.
要真扔了它们你又会不乐意
All right, what -- what if I said "I miss milkmen"?
好吧 那我就说"怀念送奶工"
Who doesn't miss milkmen?
谁不怀念呢
The glass bottle, little bow tie.
那牛奶瓶 那小领结
What am I, an idiot? I don't miss milkmen?
我是傻子吗 我会不怀念送奶工
Okay, well, then you think of something!
行 那你来出主意
I'm not the one auditioning.
我可不是被试镜的那个
Okay.
好吧
Here's something that represents my unique brand of thinking.
我想到一个代表我独特思维的点子
When I fly, I like luggage fees.
我坐飞机的时候 觉得行李费收得好
Me too.
我也是
Why should us carry-on folk have to foot the bill
我们这些随身携带行李的人凭什么
for those morons who don't know how to pack?!
要替不懂打包行李的笨蛋承担费用呢
Three weeks, I went from Edinburgh to Warsaw
整整三个星期 我从爱丁堡飞到华沙
on two pairs of pants and a tam-o'-shanter.
只穿两条裤子戴一顶苏格兰宽顶无沿圆帽
I'm falling asleep.
我快睡着了
- I love naps! - Who doesn't?
-我喜欢打个小盹 -谁不是呢
This is ridiculous!
这太可笑了
The irony that, despite you two being mortal enemies,
你觉得可笑是不是因为尽管你们是死敌
it appears you agree on everything?
但其实你们对任何事情的看法都一致
No!
才不是
It's that this jackass thinks
是因为这个混蛋竟然以为
he can actually bring something new to "Jay Talking."
他真能为《杰说心语》带来新创意
Come on! We would be magic!
拜托 我们会超神的
You already stole one company from me.
你已经从我这儿偷走了一家公司
You're not getting this.
你这次休想再得逞
Okay, fine!
行 好
I will start my own show.
我要自己弄个节目
I'll call it... "Earls of Wisdom."
名字就叫《厄尔智言》
Can't wait.
我等不及看了
I'll see you in the comments section.
评论区见
I'll just turn the comments off.
我会关闭评论功能
- You can do that? - Yeah.
-这能实现吗 -能啊
Then why am I here?!
那我来这里搞什么
Really, you don't have to do this.
你真的不用这么做
If I don't drive you to get your keys,
如果我不送你来拿钥匙
how are you gonna get your car?
你要怎么开车呢
Well, thank you.
谢谢
This is me right here.
那就是我家
Not here. Not here. Two down.
不是这里 不是这里 后两间
Oh, there's a stomach cramp.
我突然有点胃绞痛
Much better. Uh, right here.
好多了 就是那里
With the mailbox that says "Porterfields"?
邮箱地址"珀特菲尔德"[运输工原野]这家吗
Yep. It is a joke that we play with the mailman. Long story.
是的 这是我们跟邮差开的玩笑 说来话长
I will be right back.
我很快回来
Hello?
Hey, Claire? It's Ra.
克莱尔 我是拉
The readout said "Ira Burnbaum".
来电显示是"伊拉·巴恩博"
Yeah. Uh, "Ra" is short for "Ira."
是的 "拉"是"伊拉"的简称
Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to get together,
我在想你要不要一起出来
maybe grab a shower and a movie?
洗个澡看个电影什么的
No. No.
不 不
Oh, I am...
我...
Ira, I'm a married woman. That's not gonna happen.
伊拉 我结婚了 这是不可能的
I didn't pick up that energy when I was planking you.
我趴在你身上的时候没感受出来
Phil! What are you doing home?
菲尔 你在家做什么
I lost my car keys. Who were you talking to?
我丢了车钥匙 你在跟谁讲电话
- Nobody. Why are your pants ripped? - No reason.
-没有谁 为什么你裤子破了 -没有为什么
Here they are. See you later!
找到了 待会见
There you are.
你在这
Off we go.
我们走吧
Phil, why didn't you show me this house?
菲尔 为什么你没让我看这幢房子
It has everything I want.
它满足我所有的需求
I forgot it was for sale.
我忘了它在待售了
You're the agent.
你可是中介
I remember -- It's built cheap.
我记起来了 它建得不好
It...looks pretty solid to me.
我觉得挺结实的
Well, it's mostly held up by beehives.
空有其表而已
Let's go.
走吧
Phil, what is going on?
菲尔 到底怎么了
Nothing. Just trying to keep you away from all that asbestos.
没什么 只是不想让你住在次品房子里
Do you not want me as a neighbor?
你不想让我当你的邻居吗
Okay.
好吧
I-I can't do this anymore. No more lies.
我坚持不下去了 实话实说吧
It is related to that.
跟这有关
I did not peg you for a racist.
我还真不知道你是个种族主义者
Wait. No, no, no, no, no!
等等 不 不 不 不
Wait, wait, wait. Angie...
等等 等等 安吉
It's always the last people you think.
世事总是那么难料
We're done. Goodbye, Phil.
我们结束了 再见 菲尔
No, Angie! That's not it!
不 安吉 不是这样的
I lied to my wife
我对我妻子撒了谎
because she knows I have a thing for black women!
因为她知道我对黑人有幻想
Oh, really?
是吗
Hey, there!
So, that was Angie O'Hara?
所以那就是安吉吗
Okay.
好吧
Full disclosure...
我向你坦白
I did lie.
我确实说谎了
But only because she's beautiful and you get a little crazy.
但只是因为她很漂亮 而你又有点神经质
Why the hell did I say that?!
我到底是为什么要这么说
I'm sorry.
对不起
Oh, it's okay.
没关系
You're being so understanding. It's so unlike you.
你现在那么善解人意 太不像你了
Are you secretly mad?
你是不是不为人知地疯了
Are you lulling me into a false sense of security?
你是不是在给我安全的错觉
Are you gonna do something to me while I'm asleep?
你是不是要在我睡着的时候对我做什么
Phil, you know what really gets my goat?
菲尔 你知道真正让我生气的是什么吗
That you lied.
是你说谎了
Guess men are men.
看来男人都这样
I don't know why I expected anything more.
不知道为什么我会有奢望
Hello?
I want to apologize. You were right.
我想给你道歉 你说得对
It did bother me that Ra gave you all the attention.
拉只关心你确实让我生气
He's an attractive man, and you're a very sexy woman.
他是个有魅力的男人 而你是个非常性感的女人
Of course he put his hands all over you.
他当然会四处摸你
- What? - Ra?
-什么 -是拉吗
It's Phil.
是菲尔
B-Bye-bye!
再...再见
Claire...
克莱尔...
You know what really gets my goat?
你知道真正让我生气的是什么吗
Okay, Lily. Let's do this.
好吧 莉莉 开始吧
Can we just please give this a rest
我们能不能先别骑了
until you're fully recovered?
等你完全好了再说
No. Mitchell, we're in too deep.
不 米奇尔 我们都陷得太深了
I have a broken arm, and I can't remember
我摔断了手臂 我还忘了
any of my grade-school teachers' names.
任何一位小学老师的名字
Yeah, you've mentioned that four times now.
你已经说了四次了
- Have I really? - Yeah.
-真的吗 -是的
All right. Uh, Lily, let's -- let's get on the bike.
好吧 莉莉 上车吧
Carefully. Carefully.
小心点 小心点
One leg at a time over.
一次上一条腿
Feet on the pedals. Perfect.
脚踏在踏板上 很好
And then we start pedaling.
然后就开始踩踏板
Mitchell, we start pedaling.
米切尔 开始踩踏板
Good. Now let go.
好 放手吧
- Don't let go! - Okay.
-别放手 -好
Mitchell, let go.
米奇尔 放手
- I'm not ready. - She's not ready!
-我没准备好 -她没准备好
Mitchell, sidebar, please.
米切尔 过来一下
Okay. Okay. Stopping.
好的 好的 停下来
Just put your feet down. Be right back.
把脚放下来 我很快回来
What's wrong, Lily? Don't you know how to ride a bike?
怎么了 莉莉 你不会骑自行车吗
Yeah, Sydney. I'm just showing him how to teach a kid.
我会 悉尼 我只是在教他们怎么教小孩
Okay, I'm dragging my feet because I have a brain injury.
我却步不前是因为我摔伤了头
Why are you dragging yours, again?
你又是为什么
Because I don't want her to get hurt!
因为我不想让她受伤
No, see, it's not the worst thing in the world
她终于开始变得谨慎了
that she's actually starting to be cautious.
这并不是什么坏事
She used to fly off of bookcases and jump off of swing sets,
她以前从书架上飞下来 从秋千上跳下来
and now she's trying to protect herself.
而现在她想保护自己了
And what kind of life is she gonna have
那如果她什么都害怕
if she's scared of everything?
她会拥有怎样的人生呢
A life where I don't have to worry about her.
我不需要担心她的人生
I get it.
我懂了
So you're the one that's afraid.
所以你才是害怕的那一个
It's dangerous out there.
外面是危险的
T-There's so much weird stuff going on in the world,
世界上有太多奇奇怪怪的事情发生了
and I just... I want her to be safe.
而我只是 我只想她安全
I guess we can wait a couple weeks if she wants to.
如果她想的话 我们也可以过几周再学
Lily, it's...
莉莉 这...
Lily?
莉莉
Lily?
莉莉
Cam, look!
小卡 看
Oh, my gosh! That's so great!
天啊 太好了
God, I hope so.
上帝 希望如此
Ohh, everything's gonna be okay.
一切都会好的
Yeah.
是呀
Miss Tweeddale -- fourth grade.
特威戴尔老师 四年级
Mr. Kleezak! Mr. Lundgren!
科里查克老师 卢根老师
I'm back!
我想起来了
Oh, my God. I told...
我的天 我说过...
Angie, thank you so much for meeting me.
安吉 谢谢你能跟我见面
This is my wife, Claire.
这是我的妻子 克莱尔
You need to know that my husband
你要知道我丈夫
is the furthest thing from a racist.
绝对不是一个种族主义者
I love black women.
我爱黑人女性
Maybe a little too much.
也许有点过了
So, I told her that you were white,
我跟她说你是白人
which is the only reason
也只是因为这样
I didn't want you living across the street.
我才不想你住在对面
I didn't want her to find out that I was lying.
我不想让她发现我在说谎
Is that true?
真的吗
Sadly, yes.
不幸的是 这是真的
Well, I am relieved.
这样我就放心了
Although it is a little offensive to be reduced to a type.
虽然被归为某类人还是有点无礼
Of course. I'm sorry.
当然 对不起
Hey, babe. Everything okay?
亲爱的 一切都还好吗
Uh, yeah. Everything's fine.
是的 一切都还好
It's just a big misunderstanding.
这只是一场很大的误会
Uh, this is Phil.
这是菲尔
And his wife, Claire.
还有他的妻子 克莱尔
Hello.
你好
Yeah. Apology accepted.
我们接受道歉
I'm on fire.
姐这是要走向巅峰啊