我爱上的人是奇葩 第四季 You're the Worst Season 4 第11集: From the Beginning, I Was Screwed

上映日期: 2,017

语言: 英语

影片类型: 剧情 / 喜剧 / 爱情

导演: 斯蒂芬·福尔克 / 希斯·卡伦斯 / 斯戴芙·格林

演员: 克里斯·吉尔 / 阿雅·卡什 / 戴斯敏·博格斯 / 凯瑟·多诺休 / 雷蒙德·J·巴里 / 迪·沃伦斯 / 贝琪·贝克


台词
I don't get it.
我不明白
What's international night?
国际之夜是什么
It's this thing we do with Olivia to broaden her palette.
是我们为了让奥利维亚拓展知识做的游戏
You and she each pick a country,
你和她各选一个国家
you do a little presentation on it,
然后做个国家简介
I pick the winner, and we order food from there.
我选出赢家 然后我们就点那个国家的美食
Homework?
那不是家庭作业吗
Oh, my God. Just pick France, wear a beret,
天啊 你就选法国 戴个贝雷帽
say a fact, and you're done.
讲点趣事 就完了
Okay. I'll do your stupid report.
好吧 我会做这傻兮兮的报告
And afterwards, I'm gonna suck all the skin off your dick,
那之后 我要舔掉你鸡巴一层皮
like I'm a...
就像是个...
Speaker phone! Child in the kitchen!
开着免提 孩子也在厨房
Hi, guys.
你们好啊
Not that we don't value
我们不是不珍惜
listening to you describe fellatio so graphically
听你如此生动地描绘口交的机会
that I just got vomit saliva,
以至于我口水都要流出来了
but what are we doing here?
但我们到底来做什么的
You guys said you wanted to diversify your audience, right?
你们说过想让观众更多样化一点 对吧
Trying to get that "Shower with the LED mood-lighting" money.
我们想赚钱买"LED情调灯"
Which is why I want to introduce you to a client of mine
所以我想给你们介绍我的一位客户
who's looking to collaborate.
他期望能合作
His name is Ben Folds.
他叫本·弗茨
Ben Folds?
本·弗茨
You mean that Billy Joel, Harry Potter-looking dude?
那个长得像比利·乔和哈利·波特的结合体吗
Yes. He is huge with college educated, affluent white people.
没错 他很受上过大学的富裕白人欢迎
If you guys did a song together, it would be massive.
如果你们一起做首歌 肯定能大火
I don't want to just throw out the phrase,
我不想随便甩出这句话
"Plays over the Grey's Anatomy credits,"
"被《实习医生格蕾》选作片尾曲"
but, yeah, that.
不过事实如此
Hell yeah. Yeah, yeah. We're in.
好好好 我们同意
You guys are gonna love him,
你们肯定会喜欢他的
and I will be there to make sure everything goes smoothly.
我也会在场 确保一切进展顺利
Ben!
This is Sam and Shitstain.
这是山姆和施斯坦
Guys, this is Ben.
二位 这是本
- Hey, guys. - Hey.
-你们好 -你好
Really good to meet you.
很高兴认识你们
This is a really nice place.
这地儿真不错
You think they serve alcohol?
你觉得他们供应酒水吗
Uh, yeah. I-I think so.
我觉得 应该供应吧
- Hey, could we get some alcohol? - Sure.
-你好 可以点酒吗 -当然
I'll just have whatever your whiskey drink is.
有什么威士忌饮品就给我来什么
Ooh, that sounds amazing.
听起来太棒了
Yeah, I'll have one, too.
我也来一样的
Damn, you must be thirsty as shit.
操 你肯定渴爆了
It's just that back in North Carolina,
只是在我老家北卡罗来纳州
there are all these regulations on hours and distributors,
对于喝酒的时间和酒水经销商都有严格的限制
and we definitely don't have your crazy mixed drinks
而且绝对没有你们这里那些
like you have out here.
酷炫的混合酒
I mean, basil in gin?
在琴酒里放罗勒
Your taste buds are like, "What the heck?"
让人味蕾狂吼"我的老天啊"
Anyway, Ben,
好了 本
these guys are really excited about the idea of collaborating.
他们两个非常期待和你合作
Oh, look.
听着
I've been a huge fan since "Pussy On Swole."
我听了《被操肿的逼》后就一直超爱你们
I mess around with it in sound check all the time.
我试音时总是用这首歌
♪Girl got pussy on swole, uh♪
♪那姑娘逼被操肿了♪
♪She makin' me crabby♪
♪她让我暴躁♪
♪Uh, I want her heart♪
♪我想要她的心♪
♪And I want her soul♪
♪也想要她的灵魂♪
♪And them titties♪
♪她的那对奶子♪
♪Them titties ain't shabby.♪
♪那对奶子可真不差♪
Damn, dude. That's tight.
操 哥们 唱得太好了
Yeah, I like that shit. Okay, okay.
没错 我喜欢这个版本的 很不错嘛
Why don't we link up at the studio tomorrow night,
不如我们明晚在录音棚见
and lay something down?
做出点作品来
Let's do it.
就这么干
Whoa, look at all that alcohol.
瞧瞧 好多酒啊
翻译 泽生 Eunice
翻译 Glida 阿夏
时间轴 加森 后期 加森
校对 Ethan-泽生 总监 Ethan-泽生
我爱上的人是奇葩第四季 第十一集
Oh, I guess you're having one, too.
你也要喝一杯啊
So, what's the big news?
有什么大消息
Jimmy, The Width of a Peach
吉米 《桃色世家》
is number 13 on The New York Times
登上了《纽约时报》
Best Seller list for Mass-Market, paperback Fiction.
大众市场平装版小说排行版第13位
What?!
什么
This is amazing!
太棒了
I have to admit, I tried to act like
我必须承认 我之前尽力表现得像
making the Amazon list wasn't a massive disappointment,
登上亚马逊排行榜不算很失望
but let's face it, it's like winning a Daytime Emmy.
不过面对现实吧 那就像赢得日间艾美奖
You're burnt, Ellen.
你逊毙了 艾伦
《艾伦秀》多次获日间艾美奖
So, we have to ride the momentum. There's Harry,
我们得借势而上 有小哈利·康尼克的
with Harry Connick Jr., very big with women.
《哈利脱口秀》 女人超爱看
Watch What Happens Live, women and gays.
《等着瞧吧》直播节目 女人和基佬都爱
The People's Choice Awards,
人民选择奖
women, gays, teens, plus general dummies.
女人 基佬 青少年 还有一众傻瓜
I can read you the loser suggestions.
我也可以念出一些不入流的节目
Uh, let's see. Tomorrow night is Tip of My Tongue,
我瞧瞧 明晚有《话到嘴边》
an NPR game show for dweebs,
斯帝博·科里尼主持的一档白痴听的
hosted by Steeb Corniglia.
国家公共电台游戏竞赛节目
Steeb Corniglia loves me.
斯帝博·科里尼超爱我
Impressing him would be the ideal way
给他留下好印象将会是
to show that I can write a hot wanker
展示我既能写火辣肉文
and still have the respect of a noted literary critic.
又能获知名文学评论家敬意的理想方法
Book me on that show.
给我约那个节目
I didn't exactly know what you meant by
我不是很明白你说的
"Grab work clothes from France."
"从公司拿些法国衣服回家"是什么意思
Are you fake going to Paris again?
你又要假装去巴黎了吗
No, it's just for this dumb thing
不 只是为了明晚
I'm doing with Boone tomorrow.
和布恩的蠢游戏准备的
An Eiffel Tower?
埃菲尔铁塔游戏吗
指一种性爱玩法两男一女
Jealous. Who's your third?
嫉妒死了 另一个男人是谁
But I'm gonna see you afterwards at Jimmy's radio thingy, right?
不过那之后我们要在吉米的电台活动见吧
I don't want to go,
我不想去
but I'm supposed to be helping people right now,
可是我现在应该帮助别人
like Lou Diamond Philips told me to.
就像卢·戴蒙德·菲利普斯说的那样
What radio thingy?
什么电台活动
"Please join me tomorrow night
请明晚和我一起参加
"For a live taping of NPR's Tip of My Tongue.
国家公共电台《话到嘴边》的现场录制
You can laugh at my delightful jokes
你可以为我的戏谑笑话
and whatever hilariously tragic look
及斯帝博为明晚随意拼凑的
Steeb has concocted for the evening."
滑稽的悲催打扮而尽情欢笑
I could help Steeb not look so tragical.
我可以帮斯帝博打扮得不悲催
I'm full of good clothes ideas.
我满脑子穿衣建议
I'm like an armoire, but I'm a people.
我就像大型衣橱 只不过我是人
Want me to see if I can get you in?
想让我问问能不能带你去吗
Jimmy didn't invite me. Nah, nephew.
吉米没有邀请我 不了
I'm doing international night with Boone.
我要和布恩一起过国际之夜
What's international night?
什么是国际之夜
More boring dad shit?
又是无聊的老爸活动吗
Don't be sleeping on dads.
别不看好老爸们
Dads know how to bang down real good,
老爸们做爱技巧超棒
on account of they pregged up a bitch before.
因为他们之前可是搞大过别人肚子的
That tracks.
有道理
Happy French day, Booner.
法国日快乐 小布
Kuwait seeks OPEC oil cuts.
科威特请求石油输出国组织减少石油出口
Ah. Okay, um...
好吧 恩...
Well, if you Ku-wait on producing that oil,
如果你"科"以等他们慢慢生产石油
I'll sleep like I-raq.
我将"伊"觉睡到天亮
I remember my first time in Kuwait.
我还记得我第一次去科威特的情形
It was 113 degrees, which sounds bad,
113华氏度的高温[45摄氏度] 听起来很糟糕
but actually, the pools of blood were...
但实际上那些血泊...
Eject! Right, so,
闭嘴 好了...
we have covered current events, historical limericks,
我们已经练过了时政 历史五行打油诗
quirky human interest.
古怪的人情故事
I think Steeb and his listeners are gonna be blown away
我觉得斯帝博和他的听众肯定会被
by what's on the tip of my tongue.
我嘴边的东西震撼到的
- What is it? - What's gonna be on there?
-是什么东西 -你嘴边有什么
It-it's jokes.
段子啊
- Oh. I get it. - Oh, yeah. Right, yeah.
-明白了 -哦是的 没错
- Jokes. Jokes. - Yeah, right.
-段子 就是段子 -没错
You want a little insurance?
你想要万无一失吗
Explain, Edgar's friend.
请解释一下 埃德加的朋友
You have a plant in the crowd
你在观众中间安插个托儿
shout out a lame, prepared heckle
用蹩脚的提前准备好的黑话起个哄
that you have a great comeback for.
而你给予一个机智有力的回击
It's called a "Mencia."
这种手法叫做"门西亚"
Isn't Vernon gonna be there?
弗南不是会在场吗
- He'll do it. - Great idea.
-交给他就好 -好主意
I'm sorry Jimmy isn't a good friend to you.
我很遗憾吉米算不上是你的好朋友
I always listen to anything you have to say.
无论你想说什么 我都会认真倾听
Thanks, man. That means a lot.
谢谢你 兄弟 那对我意义重大
But...
只是
I'm not really great about opening up.
我并不擅于袒露心声
Why don't you tell me what you were gonna tell Jimmy earlier,
何不就把刚才被吉米打断了的话
but he didn't let you?
跟我说说呢
Okay.
好吧
You see, I was stationed in Kuwait before moving into Anfal.
在进驻安法尔前 我驻扎在科威特
And Anfal, it's known for its architecture, right?
安法尔以其建筑闻名 对吧
No, its genocide. So there we were,
不 是种族灭绝 所以我们到了那儿
three klicks south of Ali Sabah Al-Salem...
阿里沙巴塞勒姆以南三公里的地方
《话到嘴边》
Check. One, two, check.
试麦 一二 试麦
Jimmy!
吉米
So stoked to be here.
能来参加节目我太激动了
Truth be told, I've been on for 72 straight hours,
跟你说实话 我已经三天没合眼了
and I'm kind of seeing a lot of spiders made out of light.
我似乎看到了很多光线构成的蜘蛛
But I'm good to go.
但我能行的
I got a Camelback full of Casamigos and Monster Energy.
我准备了个饮料袋 装满了龙舌兰和魔爪能量饮料
Right. I need your help with a super-secret heckle.
好吧 我需要你帮我偷偷地冒出些黑话
If you hear me say the words, "That was a squeaker,"
如果你听到我说"真是爆好笑"
You yell out this prewritten quip
就把预先写好的段子大声说出来
for which I have prepared a killer comedic response.
我已经对此准备了富有喜剧效果的绝杀回答
Nice.
好极了
He needs my help.
他需要我的帮助
Excuse me.
抱歉打扰
Hi. I'm Lindsay.
你好 我是琳赛
Why, hello.
你好啊
No need to be timorous.
不必羞怯
I love meeting my fans.
我很乐意见我的粉丝
No. I don't know any of this dork crap.
不 我并不了解这些呆子喜欢的东西
I'm a friend of Jimmy's,
我是吉米的朋友
and I'm a stylist.
我是造型师
Ooh, I adore Jimmy.
我很喜欢吉米的
Between you and me,
我们之间私下说
it felt like a cacodoxy to be sidetracked by a genre experiment.
因文学类型的试验而偏离方向似乎是种异端做法
Concur?
你同意吗
Listen, I thought you might be looking for someone
听着 我认为你可能需要找个人
to update your "Tragic look."
来改善一下你这副"悲催样子"
"Tragic look"?
"悲催样子"
Who said that?
谁说的
Duh. Jimmy.
当然是吉米
Czesc. My country is Poland.
大家好 我选的国家是波兰
Poland?
波兰
Nice choice. What, was Kyrgyzstan already taken?
选得真好 怎么 吉尔吉斯斯坦已经被选走了吗
Poland is the ninth largest country in Europe.
波兰是欧洲第九大国家
They boast 17 Nobel Prize winners,
出了17位诺贝尔奖获得者
and their main foods are pierogies,
他们的主食是波兰煎饺
kielbasa and golumpkies.
波兰熏肠和白菜卷
What? "Blumpkins"?
什么 "拉屎口交"
Spoiler alert: this bitch is toast.
剧透警告 那小婊子完蛋了
From the beginning, I was screwed.
我这辈子从一开始就倒霉
My mom's uterus was L-shaped.
我妈的子宫是L形的
That's why I have equilibrium problems.
所以我的平衡感有问题
And then in the fourth grade, my friend pooped his pants,
然后是四年级 我的朋友把屎拉在裤子里了
so I did, too, out of solidarity, and...
为了与他共进退 我也照做了 而且
I liked it.
我喜欢这感觉
So, at first, we just tried,
一开始我们只是试着
you know, sticking straws directly into the camel's humps,
将吸管直接插进骆驼的驼峰里
but he was not having that.
但他不肯吸
So, I got out a grenade.
于是我就拿出了手榴弹
And I say, "Hey, man.
我说 "喂 兄弟
"I'm new to skid row, I just did a shitload of heroin,
我初到贫民窟 我刚吸了很多海洛因
"And I need to take a nap.
我需要打个盹儿
I'll find you a new tent."
我会给你找个新帐篷的"
Basically the MS-13s were like,
那群黑帮小子就说
"Do you want to get jumped in or sexed in?"
"你是想被打一顿入帮还是被操一顿入帮"
And I had a girlfriend at the time, so here we go.
鉴于我当时有女朋友 于是就选择被打了
Broadcasting live from Los Angeles,
来自洛杉矶的播客直播
I am book critic, radio host and failed amateur gardener...
我是书评家 电台主持 不合格的业余园艺师
Steeb Corniglia,
斯帝博·科里尼
and this is Tip of My Tongue.
这里是《话到嘴边》节目
I may have left a trail of vegetable corpses in my wake,
我虽然可能养死了很多植物
but I am still qualified to introduce our special guests.
但我仍有资格介绍一下我们的特别嘉宾
Back with us is actor, writer and master improviser
再次做客的是演员 作家 即兴创作大师
- Andy Daly. - Oh, thank you, Steeb.
-安迪·达利 -谢谢 斯帝博
Hey, is it true that you had a restraining order
话说 我听说一丛水田芥
placed on you by a clutch of watercress?
针对你申请了限制令 是真的吗
Also, television writer and comedienne
以及电视编剧 喜剧女演员
- Emily Heller. - If anyone brought legumes,
-艾米莉·海勒 -如果有人带了豆科植物的话
please know that Steeb can't be within 500 feet of them.
千万不要让斯帝博靠近它们500英尺的范围
It's true.
是真的
I bean a bad boy.
我一直"豆"是个坏小子
And, finally,
最后
erotica writer Jimmy Shive-Overly.
是情色小说家吉米·希瓦-奥弗利
Thanks, Steeb. Uh, well,
多谢 斯帝博 那个...
I hope they're not serving carrots at crafty...
但愿他们的菜单里不含胡萝...
Let's get started with our first game:
让我们开始第一个游戏
"Who's Steeb Right Now?"
"斯帝博现在是谁"
Well, one thing we know about Steeb
关于斯帝博 有一点我们是知道的
is that he is a perpetrator of hominy-cide.
他是玉米粥杀手
Everyone knows that France is the best country.
人人都知道法国是最棒的国家
They basically won World War II,
基本上二战就是他们打赢的
and they invented the best type of kissing:
他们还发明了最棒的亲吻方式
tongue kissing.
舌吻
Their president is a Benetton model
他们的总统帅得像个名牌服装模特
who bangs his mom-wife.
娶了个像妈一样的老婆
♪ Mon petit chou ♪
♪我的小可爱♪
♪ Mon petit chou ♪
♪我的小可爱♪
♪ Mon petit chou, chou bee doo bee doo bee doo ♪
♪我的小可爱 真呀么真可爱♪
♪ Mon petit chou, chou, chou bee doo ♪
♪我的小可爱呀小可爱♪
♪ Quand je vois ton sourire ♪
♪我何时能看见你的笑颜♪
♪ Tes yeux, tes lèvres, tes cheveux ♪
♪你的双眸 朱唇和秀发♪
♪ Oui, je sais ♪
♪我知道♪
♪ Que tu es le seul ♪
♪你是我的唯一♪
♪ Mon soleil, mon balance, sans pareil ♪
♪你就是我的太阳 我的天平♪
♪ Oui, c'est vrai ♪
♪真的♪
♪ Tu es ce lui que j'adore ♪
♪你是我的挚爱♪
♪ Tu seras toujours mon amour ♪
♪我会永远爱着你♪
♪ Et c'est pourquoi ♪
♪这就是为什么♪
♪ Je suis avec toi ♪
♪我要和你在一起♪
♪ Mon petit chou chou, chou bee doo ♪
♪我的小可爱♪
♪ Mon petit chou... ♪
♪我的小可爱♪
Thank you, Gretchen.
谢谢 格雷琴
Ah, the winner is Poland. Way to go, sweetie!
冠军是波兰 宝贝你好厉害
- Hooray! - are you kidding me?
-太棒了 -你逗我呢
I-I'm not even done yet.
我都没表演完
I have a whole thing with a baguette!
我还安排了一整套拿着法棍表演的动作
This is bullshit!
这他妈太扯了
Which goes back to my original point:
于是又回到了我最初表达的观点
don't open a bottle of Gruner Veltliner with a first-chair oboist
别跟顶尖双簧管演奏家开一瓶绿维特利纳白葡萄酒
unless you want to end up in her laundry room,
除非你想沦落到她的洗衣房
peeing into her mop sink.
对着拖把池狂尿
Okay. Our next game
好了 下一个游戏是
is "Limerick Lightning Cage Match."
"打油诗闪电擂台赛"
I will read a limerick, and you will complete it.
我念一首打油诗 你们来完成它
Jimmy, let's start with you.
吉米 从你开始
"Astronomers chose just to can it,
"天文学家选择将它除名
"But the little guy's fans "Couldn't stand it.
但这小家伙的粉丝们不能接受
"Now the stars have aligned,
"如今星星已排列成一条直线
"And they're changing their minds
它们又改变主意了
by returning its status to..."
想把它变回..."
Granite!
花岗岩
Who paid you to throw this game?
谁花钱请你来毁掉这个游戏的
Emily?
艾米莉
Planet, referring to Pluto, of course.
行星 显然是指冥王星
But granite was a great guess.
但猜花岗岩也不错
I mean, scientists can never tell
毕竟用花岗岩造的东西
when something is made of granite.
科学家们永远都看不出来
They call it their white whale.
他们称其为科学界的白鲸[难以征服]
Good point, Andy.
说得好 安迪
So, ten points for Emily,
艾米莉得10分
and negative five points for our resident smut peddler.
我们的小黄文写手扣5分
Well, for your information, this "Smut peddler"
告诉你一声 本"小黄文写手"
is on New York Times
可是上了《纽约时报》
Mass-Market Paperback Best Seller list.
大众市场平装版小说排行版第13位
The Mass-Market list.
大众市场排行榜啊
What other books might one find on that list?
还有哪些书会上那个榜呢
Oh, uh, How My Cat Cured My Cancer.
我想想 《我的猫是如何治好我的癌症的》
Ooh, yes.
对哦
American Ninja Warrior: The Novel.
《美国忍者战士:小说》
The Life-Changing Magic of Throwing Some Things in the Garbage.
《把东西扔进垃圾桶的惊人魔法》
What are we watching?
这到底是什么节目
I know a bunch of the sounds they're saying,
我听得懂几个字
but I don't understand the sentences.
但连起来我就听不懂了
Chicken Soup for the Stomach.
《暖胃鸡汤》
保罗·吉利安来电
The DiCaprio Code.
《小李子法典》
Paul, I'm at a very important Jimmy thing.
保罗 我在为杰米参加的一个重要节目当观众
Lindsay! I got arrested for biking under the influence.
琳赛 我因为酒后骑自行车被捕了
Come bail me out, Lindsay, please.
来把我保释出去 琳赛 求你了
- I need your help. - You need my help?
-我需要你的帮助 -你需要我的帮助吗
Or Angels Are Real, I Swear.
或是《真的有天使 我发誓》
How about uh, Shakespeare, But With Vampires?
《吸血鬼版的莎士比亚》怎么样
Improve Your Memory in Zero Easy Steps.
《增强记忆力只需0步》
Or, uh...
或者
Killer, uh, B-Ballerinas.
《绝赞芭蕾舞女》
Well, that was a squeaker.
真是爆好笑
I said, that was a squeaker!
我说 真是爆好笑
Hey, Shive-Overly.
嘿 希瓦-奥弗利
Why don't you try writing
你为什么不试试
your own obituary and then kill yourself?"
给自己写讣告 然后自尽呢"
"Jimmy Shive-Overly died this week.
"吉米·希瓦-奥弗利这周死了
His member was stiff, and soon, so was the rest of his body."
他的鸡巴很坚硬 很快其它身体部位也要僵硬了"
Now, that's a squeaker.
那才是爆好笑
Hi.
What the hell is wrong with you?
你到底是有什么毛病
I don't know how to act with her.
我不知道该如何跟她相处
I'm not her mom. I'm not her friend.
我不是她妈 也不是她朋友
I'm trying to make this work.
我想让我们成功走下去
I feel like I'm supposed to be good at this.
我感觉这种事我应该很擅长才对啊
Do you think I'm good at this?
难道你觉得我很擅长这种事吗
Last year I bought her a sword.
去年我给她买了一把剑
I lost her at the mall
我还曾在商场把她弄丢过
because I was staring at a Cinnabon too hard.
因为我在对一个肉桂卷流口水
Just be yourself, okay?
做你自己就行了
I'm gonna order some pierogies.
我准备叫波兰饺子外卖
Come down and join us when you're ready.
你准备好了就下来跟我们一起吃吧
And so...
所以...
since I still have shrapnel in my body
我体内仍有弹片
but I don't have insurance, it's...
但我没有医保
it's kind of like the memory of that day when I lost my best friend...
就好像 失去我最好朋友那天的记忆
is always inside me,
一直在我体内
between my colon and my genitals.
就在我的结肠和生殖器中间
I don't know what to say.
我不知道该说什么
My heart.
我的心
Thank you.
谢谢你
That feels... really awesome telling you my truth.
向你袒露真心 感觉真的很舒服
Oh, shit.
糟了
We missed the entire show.
我们错过了整个节目
I guess we should get back to work.
那我们该继续工作了
We still have to write our sketch for this week.
我们还要写这一周的喜剧段子
What if there's a dictator who's a tater, but also a total dick?
听听这个 有个独裁者 既很孤僻 又很混蛋
Actually, I'm just gonna head home.
事实上 我要回家了
But I feel so honored that you shared that with me.
但你对我袒露心声 我深感荣幸
I'm sorry.
对不起
Did I talk too long?
我说了太久吗
No. That was a gift.
不 那很好
Thank you.
谢谢你
Thank you.
谢谢你
Lindsay...
琳赛
it wasn't my fault.
那不是我的错
The entire DUI industry is run
整个查酒驾的体系
by a for- profit organization
都被一个追逐利益的组织掌控着
called Mothers Against Drunk Driving.
那组织叫"母亲反酒驾"
They keep lowering the legal limit
他们不断降低合法的酒精含量
so they can raise money
好筹集钱款
to pay their huge executive salaries.
来支付他们超高的工资
That's mothers for you.
母亲就是这样
Wow, Linds.
天呐 琳子
The smell, right?
臭味很大 对吧
I know. I lost a rotisserie chicken in here somewhere,
我知道 我把一块烤鸡肉丢在家里某个地方了
and I can't find it anywhere.
我到处都找不到
No, uh... I'm just impressed.
不 我只是很震撼
You've really moved on.
你真的翻开新篇章了
I was so excited to be a father, Lindsay.
我之前真的好激动终于要当父亲了 琳赛
I even... started a...
我甚至 开始...
video diary...
拍视频日记
...to welcome it into the world.
以欢迎孩子降生到这个世界
Hi, baby. This is entry number 47.
你好啊 宝宝 这是第47条视频
Today we're gonna focus on the constellation
今天的主题是星座
Auriga, the charioteer.
御夫座 战车的驾驭者
I'll take you to Mexico to see it one day.
我将来会带你去墨西哥观赏它的
Hopefully, by then my stomach will have adapted to the molé.
希望到那时候我的胃已经适应墨西哥混酱了
I'm so sorry, Bear.
我真的很抱歉 亲爱的
You can still be a dad someday.
你以后还是可以当父亲的啊
You just need to find the right...
你只需要找到合适的...
What's the book about?
这本书是关于什么的
Great Plains settlers in 1875.
1875年北美大平原的定居者
So interesting.
真有趣啊
What's going on in the part you're reading?
你看的这部分讲了些什么
The settlers don't have enough food,
定居者没有足够的食物
so the little girl's dog runs away.
于是小姑娘的狗就跑了
Oh. Like Bus Stop Goat.
就跟公车站的羊一样
- Who? - He's, like, the greatest pet of Instagram.
-谁 -它简直是INS上最棒的宠物
We DM all the time. Look.
我们经常互发私信 你看
Oh, shoot.
糟了
I forgot I have to go do this thing with Ben Folds.
我忘了我得去跟本·弗茨一起做件事
Who's Ben Folds?
本·弗茨是谁
Promise you'll never repeat that in public.
向我保证你以后永远不在公共场合问这个问题
Okay. I'll see you later.
好了 回头见
- Hey, Doug. - Edgar. Doug Benson.
-你好 道格 -埃德加 我是道格·本森
Quick call before I board a flight to Davos.
在我乘飞机去达沃斯前 迅速跟你通个话
I'm hosting a forum on building investor confidence
我要主持一个论坛 讨论如何在内战后的摩尔多瓦
in post- civil war Moldova.
重树投资者的信心
Wait. There's a civil war in Moldova?
等等 摩尔多瓦发生了内战吗
Not yet, but we're aiming for March.
目前还没有 但三月可能就有了
Listen, you're gonna be doing
听我说 从今以后你要专门
all the high- concept sketches from now on.
做高概念的喜剧小品
I'm moving Max over to episode development.
我要把麦克斯调到单集开发部
But you have my full confidence.
但我对你很有信心
Okay, got to run.
好了 我得走了
Deep state never sleeps.
暗深势力永不安分
I got your text.
我收到你的短信了
Uh, what he's having, but a triple.
我也要他在喝的东西 不过要三倍的酒
- He's having a triple. - Right.
-他这已经是三倍的了 -好吧
So make mine... nine.
那我要 九倍的
Sorry your dumb radio show was mean to you.
抱歉那个电台节目对你很刻薄
I thought I could be the one writer
我本以为我可以成为唯一一个
to elevate the romance genre.
提升爱情小说地位的人
Your book elevated the only thing it needed to: my dick.
你的书提升了它唯一需要提升的东西 我的性欲
And what's with the dress?
你穿这裙子是怎么回事
Are you starting a Serge Gainsbourg cover band?
你是要成立一个赛日·甘斯布的翻唱乐队吗
No, I just had to go to this stupid thing in Eagle Rock.
不是 我不得不参加鹰岩区的一个很傻的活动
All things in Eagle Rock are stupid.
鹰岩区的一切都傻兮兮的
What was it, runny cheese tasting at the Converse store?
是什么 匡威店举办的松软芝士品尝活动吗
It's called international night,
叫做国际之夜活动
with that guy, Boone, and his daughter.
跟那个叫布恩的和他女儿一起
If you have to be somewhere...
如果你得赶去某个地方...
Mm, no. I have this work thing, but...
不用 我的确有件工作上的事 但...
nobody will care if I'm a little late.
就算我迟到 也没人会在乎
Gretch, where are you?
格雷琴 你在哪儿
Ben's hella late.
本到现在都没来
You said this dude was professional.
你说过这家伙做事很专业
This was supposed to be our big opportunity.
这本该是我们的大好机会
Where is this fool?!
那个白痴在哪儿
Where are you?! Ugh!
你又在哪儿 该死的
Hey, guys!
你们好啊
There he is.
他来了
You ready to rock?
你准备好疯狂摇滚了吗
I am indeed.
那当然了
Can I offer you boys a tooch of rug?
你们需要来点"地毯"吗
Rug? That doesn't sound right.
地毯 那听上去不太对
Hey, Ben, are you...?
话说 本 你是...
- Holy shit! - Holy shit!
-我了个大操 -我了个大操
- Are you okay? - Dude, your head!
-你没事吧 -老兄 你的头
I'm fine.
我没事
After the restaurant, I stayed me had some couple Manhattan.
在餐厅见面后 我又喝了些曼哈顿鸡尾酒
And then blue drink.
然后是蓝色的酒
That was yesterday.
那是昨天的事了
Well, then why was I in Griffith Park tomorrow?
那我第二天怎么会出现在格里菲斯公园
All right, let's do this.
好了 我们开始吧
All right. Uh, don't worry about it.
好的 别担心
Who puts drinks on a piano? Two, three, six.
什么人会把酒放在钢琴上 二 三 六
I can't hear it. I can't hear it.
我听不到声音啊 听不到
It's in the key of E, guys.
是E调哦 各位
山姆·德雷斯顿来电
I have to tell you something.
我必须告诉你一件事
I came by your house the other day
我那天去你家了
and saw you doing some chick on the couch.
然后看到你在沙发上干一个女人
So who was the nasty slizz?
那个下流的荡妇是谁
Uh, well, that was Katherine, my old friend from home,
那是凯瑟琳 是我在老家认识的一个老朋友
but she's not nasty.
但她并不下流
I mean, boring, sure.
不过真的很无趣
She's unbearably annoying.
她真是烦人得要命
Completely reeking of unearned snobbery.
完全一副势利眼
She's an entertainment lawyer,
她是娱乐行业的律师
that noble calling.
非常体面的职业
That's what John Adams was, wasn't he?
约翰·亚当斯当年也是干这行的 对吧
Excuse me. Is this chair free?
不好意思 这椅子有人坐吗
Does it look like it's free?
看上去像是没人坐吗
Obviously my bag is sitting there, idiot.
显然我的包坐在上面呢 白痴