Where are you going?
I thought you were gone.
- I was. - I thought you left.
I did. To get us...
No, no, no, no, no. I just...
I just went to get provisions.
But I could see how you'd think, you know,
But no, silly, I'm here.
不过不是那样 小笨蛋 我在呢
So, I was thinking maybe later we could go for a ride
and revisit some of our favorite activities.
Get Chinese food, hit the movies.
Secret pinball arcade.
Maybe some micheladas
and "You dropped something" in the park.
What? I-I didn't leave this time.
Gretchen, I didn't leave.
Just got pain au chocolat.
Exactly. You can't even get breakfast
without me thinking that you've bailed again.
I have spent my entire life pretending that
all this is a force field that stops things from penetrating.
But no one chooses me, Jimmy!
In the end, no one ever fights for me.
So, because I went to get croissants
filled with goddamn chocolate for you
and was gonna lay in bed with you,
eating chocolate for breakfast
because I wanted you to wake up
to something special and delicious,
and still you lay this shit at my feet?
Make sure you want to go here.
I have apologized!
I've sat idly by while you did whatever
because you were wronged by me. True.
But this goddamn vacillation, Gretchen.
I didn't do anything this time.
Yep. You're right.
See, Jimmy? You don't really need me.
瞧吧 吉米 你并不需要我
Why don't you go do all that fun stuff without me.
Deep down, I think you like being alone more, anyway.
Yep, you're right. Maybe I do.
- Oh, yeah, yeah. - Oh, I get it.
- Really? - I mean, if those speakers cost 20 Gs,
they better look so hot, I want to stick my dick in 'em.
But, like, respectfully.
So, you can put your dick in them.
See, I knew those guys at Guitar Center
had no right to kick me out.
- Maximus. - E-dawg.
We're doing nicknames now?
If so, I call Dutch Oven.
Wait. No. Can I change mine?
等等 不对 我能改掉我的吗
Sorry I missed your calls last night.
Got stuck on Skype with a buddy who's going through a thing.
Did something happen with Snoober?
Did they run out of snow?
Nah, it's... different guy.
Did you talk to Doug?
Yeah, such a bummer that he split us up.
This is just like that movie Horrible Bosses:
Hey, so, tonight, you want to check out
Pharrell's sneaker pop-up?
It's in this Mexican church that used to be a crepe restaurant.
Doug has me on a crazy deadline. I'm probs here all night.
Cool beans. Stay frosty.
- Yeah. - Look at this one.
- Let's do it. - 20 thou?
Click your dick in it.
You have dead face.
Ooh, do not sit on this couch!
Or you'll never get up.
You bone a pilot again?
I slept with Jimmy last night.
What?! So, what does this mean?
Are you with Boone, or are you with Jimmy?
Gretchen, you have to stop this.
Sleeping with more than one person is wrong.
Oh, so, what are you gonna do?
Oh, who knows what's gonna happen?
We'll just have to see what the universe sends my way.
"The universe"? Who are you, Stephen Hawking?
还"宇宙" 你是谁 史蒂芬·霍金吗
Anyway, you can't just let things happen to you.
Olivia just texted me
it's taco night.
I guess the universe just brought me tacos.
Boone's daughter texts you?
Yeah, all the time.
Look, she dressed her Bitmoji up
to look like me. Little dummy.
This is why you actually need to make up your mind.
Don't you see? You're her La Bamba.
你没看出来吗 你是她的 "青春传奇"老妈
That hunky dillhole
broke my dumb little heart making me think
he was gonna be my forever papa.
He promised to teach me how to swim and then, boom.
He just disappeared,
and I had to learn by watching the dog.
Is that why you shake every time you get out of the pool?
Gretchen, you have to break up with Boone
before you mess up Olivia.
This is not like all the other guys you've boned.
We're talking about a little girl's life here.
Stop worrying about a kid you met for 30 seconds
and think about me, your best friend,
and how maybe I deserve this
after a lifetime of being everyone's "Hit it and quit it."
I don't know what's gonna happen with Boone
or his daughter or his cat
or his goddamn goldfish,
but, for once, Gretchen is putting herself first.
So, I'm telling you, back the hell off.
You dropped something.
Oh, you dropped something.
- I did? - Yeah.
It's, uh... it's, uh, it's right back there.
- What? - What did I drop? What did it look like?
-什么 -我掉了什么东西 长什么样子
- Did I actually drop something? - Yes.
No. It's just a funny joke that...
It's funny to stop people
who are actually exercising,
trying to elongate their lives
so they can stick around for their families
and the people who need them?
And you sit here drinking in the middle of the day
and you lie to them!
That's funny to you?!
You dropped something.
- Okay. - Pick it up.
But I don't want it anymore.
- Now run. - Huh? What?
Okay, so, "Pedo" means "Fart."
And "Pedo mojado" means "Fart with sauce."
Now, "Tu madre es una puta"
然后"Tu madre es una puta"
Well, it means that your mother works at night.
Hello. It's me, Lindsay.
I'm so excited. I brought "Patron"
and some limes for margaritas.
- Lindsay, I didn't know you were coming. - What?
-琳赛 我不知道你也会来 -什么
I'm morgue-ified. Gretchen, you forgot you invited me, you spaz.
好气哦 格雷琴 你忘了你邀请过我 笨蛋
No sweat. I'll just set another plate.
What the hell are you doing?
Making sure you don't ruin this kid.
It's bad enough she's so not cute.
She doesn't need some selfish adult
giving her abandonment issues on top of everything else.
I'm gonna set you on fire.
Try it, short-round.
Want Auntie Lindsay to show you how to do your hair
- help your face? - Okay.
Tacos are ready. Let's chow.
Shit, yeah! Hard shells.
- Bye, Max. -See ya. Later.
-麦克斯再见 -拜 回见
- What are you doing here? - Don't "Bro" me.
Why are you feeding ravioli to Dutch?
Oh, actually, just one is a raviolo.
I know that! Why would you think I don't know that?
I thought you were working all night.
I am. Dutch and I are researching
a cooking class sketch for Doug.
Nothing funny has happened yet,
but that couple over there is clearly here
as a Hail Mary before their divorce.
Look, Doug wanted me to keep this on the DL,
but he asked me to mentor Dutch.
He's a terrible receptionist,
but Doug's too nice to fire anyone,
so he wants to transition him into being a writer.
you and Dutch aren't just hanging out for fun?
Come on, like I'd hang out with this doof?
Okay, well, um... Hey, you want to kick it tomorrow?
Bringing Dutch up to speed is gonna be an all-consuming task.
I won't be able to hang for a while.
Pretty soon he'll get distracted.
He'll start his training for the U.S. Archery Team
or writing his column for Mother Jones,
and we'll be back together.
- Sorry for being weird. - It's okay.
That's actually his mistress.
See how he's got a ring on but she doesn't?
Little Dutch Boy strikes again.
Yes. Great nickname.
That is ridiculous.
Why would the robot play football?
Tackling a human would violate the first law of robotics.
- Shh. - Oh, d...
So, when I first moved to L.A.,
this dude told me that the Griffith Observatory
was Alex Trebek's house.
I believed him for years.
I can't tell you how many people I told,
"That's Alex Trebek's house."
Trebek sucks. Pat and Vanna forever.
You love Wheel, don't you, Liv?
你也爱看《幸运之轮》 对吧 利维
Always select the "T" first.
The most commonly used letters spell out "Eat irons."
Solve the puzzle as soon as you know it,
and spinning for extra thousands isn't worth the risk.
- Good girl. - All right, girlie.
-好样的 -好了 姑娘
Bedtime for Bonzo.
Ten more minutes.
All right, I have to oversee this bedtime situation,
or she'll sit on the toilet and read till her butt falls off.
- Nerd. - Lindsay, I'm so glad you came over.
-书呆子 -琳赛 我真高兴你能过来玩
- You can really house some tacos. - Thanks.
I taught myself how to breathe through my nose
so I could chew longer.
Good night, Gretchen.
All right, come on.
Everything's fine. Everyone's healthy.
We're just hanging out : like people.
You were right. I'm sorry.
It's just, you're here so often, I got jealous.
只是 你经常来这里 我就嫉妒了
But, honestly, seeing the two of you together...
但是 说真的 看到你们两个在一起
Well, I'm out. Priscilla's really laying on
the night work lately.
Hey... I love you.
Thank you for trusting me.
And my hallucinations are Irish. Perfect.
I'm not the racist Shive- Overly you're after.
You'll find old Ronnie's ashes
spread over Tony Shalhoub's succulents.
We all figured you for dead.
Turns out my missing dad's been here at O'Callaghan's this whole time.
So now I'm working nights to pay off his bar tab.
Life's tough, but it'll be over eventually.
How've you been, Jimmy?
Life is a festering wound, my boy.
You enjoy your youth.
It's all downhill from here.
Oh, no. It gets worse?
I got my car booze.
You're lucky I keep it handy now.
I came back to town to face the music.
But it didn't want to face me.
Let's go play pinball.
Not today, Satan.
- What?! - Shh...!
"Oscar the Grouch"
Why are you in my trash?
I have to tell you something.
You have to break up with Gretchen.
- What? Why? - For Olivia.
-什么 为什么 -为了奥利维亚
I saw how she was looking at Gretchen tonight. She loves her.
And Gretchen is such a toxic need- ball.
She's just gonna keep getting closer and closer,
and one day she's gonna realize
you're actually kind of basic,
and she'll disappear, and you'll start dating John Stamos...
And it's going to break Olivia's little fool heart.
Her heart is going to break.
I'm sorry, but your girlfriend's not a solid person.
She barely showers.
And she steals Olivia's desserts from her lunch box.
And I know what I'm getting into, because I'm an adult.
And you're a girl in a trash can.
And you don't know anything about our relationship.
Well, there's one thing you don't know:
Gretchen's not over Jimmy.
He could pick up the phone,
and she'd be at his house in two seconds.
Get out of my trash and go home.
- Do you have taco meat in your mouth? - No.
Los Angeles is dead.
It's a quartz mausoleum of vape shops,
YouTube Red billboards and poke restaurants.
And, as I discovered so viscerally today,
everything that used to be fun is no longer so.
You think maybe it's Gretchen? Like...
after her, you now can't enjoy it without her?
They're offering me a multi- book deal,
writing the Peach Quadrilogy.
Luckily, I can write anywhere.
I told you, Edgar, the city is ruined for me.
我跟你说了 埃德加 对我来说这城市已经毁了
Are you gonna tell Gretchen?
Nope. She's done with me,
and she doesn't care anymore.
I don't want you to go, but I won't try to stop you.
In the Paktika Province, I was supposed to go AWOL
with my battle buddy Bowe, but...
he ditched me while I was in the crapper.
Everyone goes away eventually.
And now I'm losing Max.
That dainty little worm- boy with the tiny mustache?
Doug split us up.
I should just find a new partner.
Unless you think I should talk to Doug about it.
the only person you can truly rely on is yourself.
My best advice would be
to accept your new reality and... move on.
Also, my thanking you for not trying to stop me
is in no way an admission that you could stop me,
as you have no influence over my actions whatsoever.
Bro, I think you left the pizza in your car.
No, I'm- I'm not the pizza guy.
Doug, it's me, Edgar.
道格 是我啊 埃德加
Oh, right, the show.
- Guido Baby guy. - Listen, I came to,
-写"吉多宝宝"的那个 -听我说 我这次来
uh, tell you that...
you're ruining my life.
- Oh, no. - I've never had a friend like Max.
He's the only person who's ever treated me like an equal.
He sees something in me I didn't know was there.
And just when we were really getting
to that next level of intimacy,
you split us up! I mean...
are you really so threatened by our talent?
You get to a certain point in your career
where you think you're safe,
and then one day, inevitably,
you look up and see Mozart in the rearview mirror...
Holy shit, I'm Salieri!
Your scary talent has me so spooked
that I've been punishing you when I should be elevating you.
Well, I- I didn't mean it like that.
I'm giving you a promotion.
Now, I don't want you to freak out,
but hell, kid, you deserve it.
但是 孩子 那是你应得的
you're the on- set writer now.
Uh, but what about Max?
Max isn't ready.
I will not let you down.
When do I start?
Right now. That Inappropriate Gravedigger sketch
you wrote for Paul F. Tompkins?
I'm shooting it overnight in Downey.
So take the 710 to the 105,
look for the yellow signs.
So brave of you to show up at my house
9:00 on a weeknight to yell at me about your job.
You're gonna go far in this town with that kind of political savvy.
Tova! Pizza's here!