我爱上的人是奇葩 第四季 You're the Worst Season 4 第9集: Worldstar!

上映日期: 2,017

语言: 英语

影片类型: 剧情 / 喜剧 / 爱情

导演: 斯蒂芬·福尔克 / 希斯·卡伦斯 / 斯戴芙·格林

演员: 克里斯·吉尔 / 阿雅·卡什 / 戴斯敏·博格斯 / 凯瑟·多诺休 / 雷蒙德·J·巴里 / 迪·沃伦斯 / 贝琪·贝克


台词
吉米 通话时间7小时21分
Morning, Jimmy.
早上好 吉米
I know you're asleep,
我知道你在睡觉
but I just wanted to say our talk last night really...
但我只想说 我们昨晚的谈话真的...
It really was just... so unexpected.
真的很...出乎意料
And I know we didn't say anything,
我知道我们没聊到什么重要的事
but this morning I'm feeling...
但今早我觉得...
Okay! Never mind.
好了 算了
What are you smiling about over there,
你坐在那儿傻笑什么
like some sort of gooneybird?
像只呆鸟一样
Jimmy and I fell asleep on the phone last night.
我和吉米昨晚聊电话聊到睡着了
Awesome.
好棒
So, do you think we'll be in the same homeroom together next year?
你觉得我们明年会不会在同一个小学教室集合
I know. It was just really... nice.
我懂的 但真的很... 美好
Does that mean you're back riding that yogurt tube?
那是不是代表你又要和那个细屌男操了
I don't know.
我不知道
We'll see, I guess.
再说吧
Well, what are you going to do about it?
你打算采取什么行动
I'm not really a "do something about stuff" kind of person.
我不是那种会"采取行动"的人
I'm more of a "it's too late to buy a wedding gift,
我更像是"来不及买结婚礼物了
so I'll just stop being friends with them" kind of person.
直接跟他们断交好了"那种人
Cool. Well, that story finished dumb.
酷 那故事的结局蛮蠢的
Anyway.
总之
It all ends today, Gretch.
今天要有个了结 格雷琴
Becca ruined my life,
贝卡毁了我的人生
and she needs to know how much damage she's caused me.
一定要让她知道她对我造成了多大伤害
And then I'm gonna punch that stupid bitch in her stupid bitch face.
然后我就要一拳打爆那个蠢婊的蠢婊脸
Ooh, I should probably take these off.
我最好把耳环给摘了
Hooker fights dirty.
婊子打架时都出阴招
Okay, let me just press record.
好了 等我按下录影键
Before you hit her, I'm gonna yell, "worldstar."
你揍她之前 我会大喊"世界巨星"
Oh, wait. Is it after?
等等 是该揍完再喊吗
We'll shoot it both ways.
两种方式都录一遍吧
Lindsay!
琳赛
Mom?
Worldstar!
世界巨星
翻译 泽生 Eunice 青椒
翻译 Glida 阿夏
时间轴 加森 后期 加森
校对 Ethan-泽生 总监 Ethan-泽生
我爱上的人是奇葩第四季 第九集
Rest in peace, Penny the Penguin.
安息吧 小企鹅佩妮
I never thought you'd jump.
我真没想到你会跳下去
She finally flew. If only for one or two seconds.
她终于飞起来了 哪怕只有短短的一两秒
Dude, are you sure Birds is for kids?
老哥 你确定《鸟》是拍给儿童看的吗
That's the second suicide
那已经是第二例自杀事件了
and they haven't even left the island yet.
他们甚至都还没离开岛屿
When Doug assigned us to parody this movie,
道格叫我们恶搞这部电影时
I don't think he realized how depressing it is.
他可能没意识到这电影有多让人抑郁
Well, I have some highly exciting news.
我有些极度振奋人心的消息
The Width of a Peach is a bestseller!
《桃色世家》成为了畅销书
It is number seven on Amazon's Erotica list,
在亚马逊的情色作品榜上排第七
number five on Amazon's Erotica subcategory Historical Romance list,
在亚马逊情色作品"历史爱情类"子榜上排第五
and number one on Amazon's Erotica subcategory
在亚马逊情色作品子榜的历史爱情类的子榜下的
Historical Romance subcategories: World War II, UK and Family Fun.
二战 英国和家庭乐事榜上排第一
That is so great!
太棒了
I really hope you allow yourself to enjoy this special time.
我真心希望你能好好享受这特别的时刻
Oh, Jimmy.
吉米
This is Max.
这是麦克斯
We're co-writers at Doug Loves Sketches.
我们是《道格爱喜剧》的搭档编剧
Bro, you missed a sick party here last night.
兄弟 你错过了昨晚这里的牛逼派对
Yeah, I-I wouldn't call it a party.
我觉得称不上是派对啦
It was more like a meeting.
更像是聚会多一点
With balloons.
有气球的那种
Oh, stop. I know all about it.
省省吧 我都知道了
I talked to Gretchen on the phone last night.
我昨晚和格雷琴聊电话了
It was just like old times. Easy. Natural.
就跟以前一样 轻松 自然
We caught up, we joked about the many hilarious tragic ends
我们聊了彼此的近况 拿卡利安可能会遭遇的
which may have befallen Killian.
悲惨结局开了玩笑
And then, we fell asleep on the phone together.
然后 我们聊着聊着就一同睡着了
Like lovers.
像恋人一样
I don't want to get ahead of myself,
我也不想把话说得太早
Edgar and other person, but...
埃德加和那个路人 不过...
I think the door is opening.
我觉得大门正慢慢打开
You have to tell him.
你得告诉他
I don't want to tell him.
我不想告诉他
- Bro. - Bro.
-兄弟 -兄弟
- Bro? - Bro.
-兄弟 -兄弟
- Bro. - Bro!
-兄弟 -兄弟
Tell me what?
告诉我什么
Gretchen brought Boone to the party last night.
格雷琴昨晚把布恩带到派对来了
And his daughter Olivia. So cute.
还有他女儿奥利维亚 好可爱
Wise, you know? How some kids just look wise?
很聪明 懂吗 有些孩子看起来就是很聪明
Like, there's something in their eyes that lets you know
就像他们的眼神让你知道
they get it, man.
他们懂的
Like, you can just rap to them, like people, you know?
你可以直接对他们唱饶舌
What?
怎么了
Where's your friend?
你朋友哪儿去了
So, when my agent called about the role
先前我的经纪人打电话叫我去演
on ABC's Man in the Middle, I was so excited.
abc电视网的剧《中间人》时 我好激动
You know, I'm playing a grandmother,
我要饰演一个外婆
which is a wink-wink to the audience, of course,
当然了 那是个幌子而已
because as if that were possible.
因为怎么可能有这么年轻貌美的外婆
Hello, Lindsay.
你好 琳赛
Did your apartment get taken over by pigeons again?
你的公寓又被鸽子占领了吗
Thanks for telling me Mom was coming.
谢谢你告诉我妈妈要来
Of course she would visit Tallulah, my baby,
她当然会来看我家宝贝塔卢拉
that I actually had.
我亲自生的
Hey, can someone take her for a little while?
谁能帮忙看一下她
I'm doing an all-night shift and I'm running on fumes.
我忙了一整夜 真的精疲力尽了
I got these pills they use to wake people up from comas,
我吃了些用来唤醒昏迷病人的药物
but now I can hear my blinks.
但现在我能听到自己眨眼的声音
I had her, you watch her. That was the deal.
孩子我来生 你来带 我们说好了的
Besides, my mommy's visiting me.
再说了 我妈咪来看我了
Oh, you know, that reminds me...
说到这个 我想起来了
Vernon, I received a welcome bag from the show,
弗南 节目组送了我一个欢迎礼包
and I thought you might want this.
我觉得你应该会喜欢这个
A real-life Bluetooth speaker! No way!
居然是蓝牙音响 好棒耶
So sick!
太酷了
Hope you like Sublime.
希望你喜欢Sublime神器
Mommy, I'm so happy you're here.
妈咪 你来这里我好开心
Guess what I'm doing now.
猜猜我现在在做什么
- I... - Sometimes when I just look around
-我... -有时候我看看周围
at the life I've made,
看看自己拥有的生活
my husband, my baby, my beautiful house...
我的丈夫 我的孩子 漂亮的房子
Your total estimated worth of zero dollars.
以及你数额为0美金的总估值
Your associate's degree in fitness.
加上健身专业的副学士学位
This kid just dropped a major dook.
这孩子刚拉了一大泡屎
I am talking a post Homestyle Buffet widowmaker.
我指的是惊天地泣鬼神的一大泡屎
- Oh, my... - Mom, I'm a stylist now.
-好臭 -妈 我现在是时装设计师
I read a really long book.
我看了一本很厚的书
I bought a new underwear.
我买了一件新内衣
I have a gay friend.
我有个基佬朋友
- I tricked a dog! - Girls!
-我训练了一条狗表演特技 -孩子们
Girls, you don't have to compete for my attention.
乖女儿们 你们不必争宠
I'm never gonna tell you which one I like better.
我永远不会告诉你们我更喜欢谁
Oh, you haven't seen the nursery yet.
你还没去看我们家的婴儿房呢
I am your favorite, though, right?
不过你最喜欢的肯定是我吧
Let's just go.
我们走吧
You can't just let her win.
你不能就这样让她赢
This is important to you.
这对你很重要
Plus I didn't get my Worldstar video.
再说我没拍到世界巨星的视频
You're doing this.
你必须勇往直前
Thanks, Gretch.
谢了 格雷琴
You've always been such a good...
你一直对我这么...
Hey! What's up?
喂 怎么啦
Really?
真的吗
Yeah.
好啊
Camping sounds fun.
露营听起来很有趣
Um, let me just check my schedule.
我看看我的时间安排
Okay. Bye.
好 拜
Faye's the best, isn't she?
菲人真好 对不对
Did you check out that dope speaker she gaffled for me?
你看到她给我弄来的那台酷音响了吗
Seriously, how effing cool is she?
说真的 她是不是超级酷
Calm down. You're sweating.
冷静 你都出汗了
Sorry.
抱歉
I've had a major bone for Faye Cottumaccio
我一直特别喜欢菲·卡特玛乔
since her old Cinemax movies.
从她当年演黄暴频道的电影就开始了
Then I discovered Bec has these old home vids.
后来我发现贝卡还有以前的家庭视频
Faye looks so hot in them.
里面菲太性感了
You want to check one out?
你要不要看一个
What's up? I'm getting kind of de-cranked by your bummer vibes.
怎么了 你浑身的冷气场都要把我冻抽筋了
Apparently Olivia is begging for me to go camping with them.
奥利维亚求我跟他们一起去露营
I told Boone we could go down a road.
我跟布恩说我们可以发展正式关系
And now we are, and I'm just not sure it's the right move for me.
现在成真了 我又不确定这样对不对
Duck him.
放他鸽子
When I get a code blue and I don't want to go,
有时医院里急救信号响起 我又不想去
I just fake diarrhea and hide in the morgue.
就会假装拉肚子 躲在停尸房里
Or... I could let the universe decide for me,
或者 我可以让宇宙替我做决定
that way nothing's ever my fault?
那样一切都不是我的错
Look, it sucks, but more often than not,
虽然这样让人很不爽 但通常情况下
the key to interpersonal bullroar is simple:
搞好人际关系的关键很简单
you need to communicate with the other dingus.
就是要跟对方好好交流
You're right.
你说得对
I'm just gonna talk to Boone face-to-face and tell him
我就当面跟布恩说
I'm not ready for this.
我还没准备好面对这些
My titty-sucking therapist told me
我那个吸奶子的贱婊心理医生告诉我
I should be honest with my feelings.
要直面自己的感情
Yes, this is like how I keep telling everyone
没错 就像我一直跟大家说
how dangerously exhausted I am, so that eventually someone...
我现在筋疲力尽 非常危险 这样总有人...
Yeah, I'm just gonna text him.
好了 我这就发短信给他
I told you I don't to talk about Penny the Penguin anymore
我说过我不想再聊企鹅佩妮了
she went to the aviary in the sky
她去了天上的鸟舍
I just want to get this straight.
我想把话说清楚
Gretchen has the nerve to bring that geriatric
格雷琴竟然胆敢把那个老男人
and his filthy spawn into my home and then call me to chat?!
和他的野崽子带来我家 然后还打电话找我聊天
Like lovers?
像恋人那样
Fam, Fam, what you need to do
兄弟 你现在需要做的
is get your mind off this girl
就是别再想那个女孩
and just get out there and bang someone, Fam.
赶紧出去找别的女人操个逼 兄弟
Yeah, maybe that works for a bro-y man-child like yourself,
也许这方法对你这种幼稚男人管用
but I am a novelist,
但我是小说家
and an empath,
能感受他人之感受
thus, have a heightened sensitivity to the pain of others.
因此对其他人的痛苦更加敏感
If I were to use someone and make them feel bad,
如果我利用了别人 让她们难过
that, in turn, would make me feel bad.
这样会反过来让我也很难过
Why would you make her feel bad?
你为什么会让她难过
Two people can want something from each other,
如果两个人彼此渴望对方身上的东西
and both get it,
然后都得到满足
and part ways happy.
开开心心地一拍两散
That's ridiculous.
那太荒唐了
Happiness is a finite commodity.
快乐是有限的资源
You have to steal it from people.
必须得从别人那里偷来
And I'm just... I'm not the kind of person
而我...我不是那种
who would mistreat someone like that.
会像那样辜负别人的人
Edgar! Can you blow your nose or something?
埃德加 你能不能擤擤鼻涕
There's a faint whistle every time you breathe.
你每次呼吸都鼻涕作响
A faint whistle every time I breathe?
我每次呼吸都鼻涕作响吗
Listen, find a girl who's down and out,
听着 找一个落魄潦倒的女孩
take her for a fancy meal and a little compelling conversation,
带她去吃顿豪华大餐 说点好听的话
and then drop some ropes on her face.
然后把精液都射到她脸上
You get laid, she learns what truffle fries are.
你能操到逼 她能知道松露薯条是什么
There is someone I know who fits that bill.
我还真认识一个这样的女人
Katherine.
凯瑟琳
She was the saddest girl in Manchester.
她是曼彻斯特最可悲的姑娘
She moved to L.A.
她后来搬到洛杉矶
only to work as a waitress at The Fox and Hounds.
却只能做「狐狸与猎犬酒店」的服务生
Bro, you take her to République,
兄弟 你带她去共和法国餐厅
my boy Eli will hook you up with that dank sparkling rosé.
我兄弟伊莱能给你搞到高档玫瑰红酒
Or better yet, invite her here
或者更好的是 邀请她来这里
and wow her with my architecturally significant house,
让她惊叹我这建筑风格独特的家
that also contains-- what?
这里还有...你猜什么
A bed!
一张床
For dropping the aforementioned ropes.
用来射出你之前说的精液
Great! So, when next I come upstairs, you two will be gone.
好极了 我再上来的时候 希望你们已经走了
Ah, but we have to finish this movie for work.
但我们必须看完这部电影 工作需要
I don't care. Go to... his.
我并不关心 去他家
Ooh, can't. I ordered a bunch of oysters off Amazon
不行 我从亚马逊上订了一些牡蛎
and forget them in my mud room, so...
放在前厅忘吃了 所以...
Well, then go... go watch at Lindsay's.
那就去琳赛家看
She does have tons of boxed mac and cheese.
她家有超多盒装芝士通心粉
Macki and cheesy! Yum town!
芝士士通心粉粉 好好吃
Does anyone actually find that endearing?
真的会有人觉得这样可爱吗
I cannot imagine so.
我无法想象会有
No.
没有
After Penny died, things were never the same between me and Alan.
佩妮死后 我和艾伦之间完全变了样
I always said I'd call him tomorrow-- who knew that one day
我总是说明天会联系他 谁会知道
tomorrow would be the day he got sucked into a jet engine?
某一个明天他会被吸入喷气式发动机
Well, it's gonna be tough to make this one into a ride.
要想把这片改编成搞笑的真的很难
Yes! I'm starving.
终于到了 快饿死了
Edgar?
埃德加
- R... - Yeah, buddy!
-瑞... -总算来了 小哥
Comida Argentina, por favor. Mi mas gusta.
拜托是阿根廷美食 我最喜欢的
Oh, thanks a lot.
非常感谢
It's nice to see you, Ricky.
很高兴见到你 瑞克
What was that about? Pretending you don't know me?
刚刚算什么 假装不认识我吗
I helped you bury that camel.
我帮你埋了那只骆驼
Oh, I-it's just that I... I don't tell everyone right off
我只是...我不会见人就说
about my combat experience.
我的战争经历
They-they see you in a certain way.
他们会戴着有色眼镜看你
Oh, yeah.
原来如此
Not that I wouldn't. He's a really cool guy.
并不是我不愿意说 他人挺好的
No, no, no, I get it.
不不不 我明白
Mm, you don't want him to see you like some messed-up vet.
你不想让他把你当成有心理疾病的老兵
Like me.
就像我这样
No.
No, Ricky, I...
不 瑞克 我...
Delivery foul.
送餐出错了
Dude forgot your chimichurri for your steak.
那人忘了给你的牛排配阿根廷青酱
Aw, no, it's okay. I don't need it.
不 算了 我不需要
Bro, it's his job, okay? I got this.
兄弟 这是他的工作 我来搞定
Katherine.
凯瑟琳
You look shockingly presentable.
你看起来很漂亮 令人有点震惊
Um, thanks. Good to see you.
谢了 很高兴见到你
Please, come in.
快请进
I know what you're going to ask.
我知道你想问什么
Who designed this breathtaking home?
谁设计了这惊艳的房子
It's a Schindler, actually.
其实是辛德勒大师的作品
It's very quaint.
挺独特有趣
You know, I hesitated to call you,
我之前犹豫着要不要联系你
but as I was recently reminded,
但有人最近提醒我
there is nothing wrong with two people going into something
两个人都睁大眼睛 心里明白地做一件事
eyes wide open, each wanting to get something out of it.
都想从中获得什么 这其实并没错
- Okay. - Even if one person
-好吧 -即使其中一个人
demonstrably has far less to offer than the other.
能付出的明显比另一个人少
That makes sense.
有道理
I've prepared some of my favorite hors d'oeuvres for us.
我准备了一些我最喜欢的法式开胃菜
This here...
这个是...
duck pâté.
鸭肝冻肉
Don't ask what it is; just enjoy it.
别问这是什么 享用就好
Are you thirsty? Would you like a drink?
你渴了吗 想来点喝的吗
I'd like you to try a very special scotch.
我想让你尝尝这种非常特别的威士忌
It's called Laga-vul-in.
名叫拉加...维...林
16, as in that is how old this is.
16年份的
Sorry, I just can't do Lagavulin anymore.
抱歉 我不想再喝拉加维林了
Do you have any Japanese single malts?
你这里有日本单一麦芽威士忌吗
Like Hibiki 21?
响牌21年威士忌
Kendrick Lamar introduced me to it
我帮歌手肯德里克·拉马尔
when I was doing the deal for his line of bulletproof hats.
做防弹帽业务时 他带我尝过一次
Wait. Hold on. What's happening?
等等 等等 什么情况
I thought... I thought you worked at The Fox and Hounds.
你不是在「狐狸和猎犬酒店」上班吗
Uh, when I was 22.
我22岁时是在那里上班
But you know I'm an entertainment lawyer now?
你知道我现在是娱乐界律师了吧
Come on, Jimmy.
拜托 吉米
You can tell me.
你可以告诉我
Whose house is this?
这是谁的房子
- This is my home. - Okay. How much do you need?
-这就是我家啊 -好吧 你要多少钱
You're not the first person from home to call me out of the blue
你不是第一个突然打电话来
and hit me up for money.
找我要钱的老乡
No, I...
不 我...
I don't need money.
我不需要钱
I'm a... I'm a bestselling novelist.
我可是畅销书作家
You don't know?
你不知道吗
Well, then I'm not that much higher status than you.
这么说我的地位并不比你高多少啦
How are you higher status than me?!
你的地位怎么可能比我高
Jimmy, you chav!
吉米 你个小痞子
What was that name we used to call you back home?
以前在英国的时候我们都叫你什么来着
Oh, oh, I remember-- Mouse Boy and Jizz Magnet.
我记起来了 "鼠仔"和"吸精王"
What was the other one?
还有一个是什么来着
Shitty Jimmy.
"屎吉米"
That was it. Shitty Jimmy!
就是这个 "屎吉米"
Oh, my God, I can still remember the song.
天呐 那歌我都还记得呢
*Shitty Jimmy*
*屎吉米*
*Look at Shitty Jimmy*
*快看屎吉米*
*Shitty Jimmy with his little shitty...*
*屎吉米和他那...*
Wha...? *With his little shitty*
什么来着 *和他那...*
*Little, li... * What was it? Come on.
*小...* 什么词儿来着 快说啊
Come on, what was it? Come on.
拜托快说啊 是什么来着
*With his little shitty face.*
*和他那张屎逼脸*
Yes! *With his little shitty face.*
没错 *和他那张屎逼脸*
Shitty Jimmy!
屎吉米
*Shitty Jimmy with his little shitty face, whoo!*
*屎吉米和他那张屎逼脸*
Ok, I texted him.
好了 我给他发短信了
"Hey. I'm just not sure
"嗨 我只是还没准备好
I'm ready for camping. Hope that's okay."
一起去露营 但愿这样没关系"
Look at you-- telling someone what you need.
瞧瞧你 坦率说出了自己的需求
布恩: 呼 我也讨厌露营那我们改去艾斯棕榈泉酒店吧
Yeah, that'd be fine.
好 那就这样吧
And I was like, "Sorry you got triggered Snowflakes.
然后我就说"抱歉 你怒了 雪花
Go back to your 'safe space.'"
回你的安全区域去吧"
Look, Mommy.
快来看 妈妈
An important Los Angeles magazine did a piece
洛杉矶一本重要的杂志专访了
on my boss, Priscilla, and you could see me in the background
我的老板普莉希拉 背景里你可以看到
with some work friends.
我和一些工作上的朋友
"Friends"?
"朋友"
That's why not of them showed up at your divorce party.
所以你的离婚派对他们一个都没来吧
Well, that's rude.
真没礼貌
I've been hundreds of parties for people I don't like.
我就去过几百个我不喜欢的人的派对
Bob Baliban. Heather Locklear.
鲍勃·巴利班 希瑟·拉克里尔
Stevie Wonder.
史提夫·汪达
He can see, you know.
其实他不是盲人
Okay. I have to go get ready for Piloxing.
好了 我得去准备跳搏击健身舞了
Listen, you backstabbing suck-butt,
听着 你这个背后捅刀的恶心货
my entire life you have been nothing
我这一辈子 你都只会
but a source of underminery and hurtful, bitchy faces.
暗地里搞破坏 伤害我 成天摆张贱人脸
I am not a real person,
我没有形成健全的人格
and it's all your fault.
全是你的错
So, Becca,
所以 贝卡
my only sister...
我唯一的姐姐
we are officially through.
我们正式断绝关系
You're... seriously gonna stand there,
你是认真的吗 站在这里
probably softly farting as usual,
或许还跟往常一样在偷偷放屁
and blame me for your life being an actual 9/11?
然后把你911灾难般的人生怪罪到我头上
I had the same challenges growing up, and look at me.
我的成长过程也遇到过同样的挑战 但你看看我
I'm living in a real house with real friends
我住在像样的房子里 有一群真正的朋友
who aren't disgusting monsters...
他们可不是恶心的牛鬼蛇神...
and I'm married to a successful doctor.
我还嫁给了一个成功的医生
Blame me for your life? Uh-uh.
想让我替你的人生背锅 想都别想
Sorry, peaches.
抱歉 小可爱
You can try and blame other people,
你可以试试甩锅给别人
but, like the actual 9/11,
不过就跟真正的911灾难一样
you did it to yourself.
都是你自己造成的
Oh, you want a titty twist?
怎么 想来拧乳头大战吗
I'll show you a titty twist!
我来让你见识下真正的拧乳头
- You don't want none of this! - I'm the titty twist champion!
-你不会想见识我的功力的 -我可是拧乳头冠军
Bitch, I will spray your milk all over this goddamn room!
贱人 我会让你的奶喷得满屋子都是
Give me a tit, and I'll twist it raw!
给我一个乳头 我有本事把它拧脱皮
- It's gonna be like a dairy. - Girls.
-到时候这儿就成奶厂了 -姑娘们
Girls!
姑娘们
Shit, shit, shit! Don't stop yet!
该死该死 可别停啊
Well, Officer, if you're gonna search the place,
长官 如果您需要搜查这里的话
I suggest you start under my sweater.
我建议您从我的毛衣里开始搜
Am I talking?
是我在说话吗
Vernon!
弗南
Oh, shit!
我操
Vernon, your dumb speaker is
弗南 你的破音响
blasting filth all over the house!
在满屋子地散播污言秽语
Turn that off!
给我关了
Is that...
那是
Mommy?!
妈妈吗
G-Get out of here!
快出去
Jesus, I'm busy! I'm...
上帝啊 我忙着呢 我...
Oh, man, them boobies.
老天啊 这胸
Worldstar!
世界巨星
Okay. I'm off to Equinox.
好了 我去健身房了
I just wanted Mom to think I had everything figured out.
我只是想让妈妈觉得我过着完美的生活
I didn't want her to know that we have no money!
我不想让她知道我们没钱
And that I'm married to
我还嫁给了一个
a talking penis in a clown wig!
像戴着小丑假发的行走的鸡巴
My life is shit.
我的人生烂得跟屎一样
Why do you think I go through a c...
你以为我每周为什么要...
a case of Kendall- Jackson a week?
喝掉一整箱的红酒
We're both messed up.
我们都有严重的问题
Who's L.D.P.?
LDP是谁
Lou Diamond Phillips.
卢·戴蒙德·菲利普斯
He played La Bamba.
他演过《青春传奇》
Mom dated him for, like, three years.
我妈跟他恋爱过大约三年
He was the best.
他是最棒的
La Bamba?
《青春传奇》
I can't get this bikini to stay on.
这比基尼老是往下掉
Aftershock.
"高潮余波"来了
Okay, well, how about if two pelicans agree
好吧 如果有两只鹈鹕
to fill their beaks with rocks and jump into the ocean?
嘴里塞满石头 然后跳进大海呢
That's not a parody.
那可不是恶搞
They actually did that in the movie.
它们在电影中确实这么做了
It's open!
门是开的
Hope this is really delicious.
但愿这酱真的很美味
I had to pass up three gigs to come back.
我为了回来送这个不得不推掉三个订单
Thanks for that.
多谢你了啊
Sorry.
抱歉
Did you know me and Edgar served in Iraq together?
你知道我和埃德加一起在伊拉克服过役吗
Apparently he's real embarrassed
显然他不好意思
for people to know that he's a vet.
让别人知道他曾是个老兵
I guess he thinks he's better than me.
大概他自以为他高我一等
But he ain't shit.
但他连个屁都算不上
Never was.
从来都不是
You know what?
你知道吗
Why don't you come over here
你何不过来
and spread this chimichurri sauce on my steak for me?
替我给这个牛排撒上阿根廷青酱呢
Yeah, that ain't gonna happen.
想得美 那是不可能的
You spread that chimichurri on my steak,
你替我把牛排撒上阿根廷青酱
this 50 is yours and you get a five star rating.
这50美元就是你的了 还能获得五星评价
You don't...
如果你不照做
you get nothing and I give you one star.
就一分钱都得不到 我还会给你打一星差评
I don't care either way,
我不在乎你选哪种
'cause 50 bucks don't mean shit to me.
因为50美元对我来说连屁都算不上
Oh, damn.
厉害了我的哥
Mom!
Kids, please, please,
孩子们 别吵了 别闹
get out of the frame, kids.
快走出镜头范围 孩子们
Get out of the frame, kids!
快走出镜头范围 孩子们
Thanks.
谢了
Faye Cottumaccio reading for the role of Marsha.
菲·卡特玛乔试读玛莎一角的剧本
Mr. Belvedere, did the agency send you?
贝弗德尔先生 是公司派你来的吗
Have you guys noticed a pattern?
你们注意到规律[图案]了吗
It was the '80s, Gretch.
那是80年代 格雷琴
You put some triangles and squiggly lines on a shirt
把三角形和弯弯曲曲的线条印在上衣上
and called it fashion.
就叫时尚了
Your mother is completely
在这些录像带中
neglecting you in all these tapes.
你们的妈妈完全忽略了你们
- Mom! Mom! - She doesn't give a shit
-妈 妈 -她完全不在乎
about anything you're doing.
你们在干的任何事
- Holy shit. - You're right.
-天啊 -你说得对
It's Mom's fault
都是妈妈的错
you turned out to be a giant toddler with boobs
你才变成了一个有着大胸的巨婴
and I drink a touch too much here and there.
而我成了个酒鬼
I am sorry, Becca.
对不起 贝卡
Me, too.
我也是
We should tell her we're the ones who need a break from her.
我们应该告诉她 是我们要摆脱她
What's the point?
有什么意义呢
She'll just start crying and tell us how she got the clap
她只会哭泣 然后告诉我们她是怎么被
from the sound guy on Trapper John, M.D.
《特雷普·约翰医生》里的那演员传染淋病的
Bec.
贝卡
- Wha...? - The only way our lives
-搞什么 -我们的生活能够
are going to get fixed is if we fix them ourselves.
走上正轨的唯一办法就是我们采取行动 做出改变
You're right.
你说得对
She is.
她的确说得对
Yo, do you guys mind leaving for a bit?
你们介意走开吗
I need some sleep.
我需要睡觉
I closed my eyes to sneeze a little while ago
我刚刚闭上眼睛打喷嚏
and I woke up eight minutes later.
再醒来时已经是八分钟后了
What about when we locked you in the school basement
还有一次我们把你关进了学校地下室
and we wouldn't let you out
我们不放你出来
until you put your little willy through the keyhole?
直到你把你的小鸡鸡从钥匙孔里伸出来
It was so tiny.
简直跟牙签一样细小
Well, it's not anymore.
已经不细小了
It's bigger now.
现在大些了
And guess what?
你猜怎么着
You just blew your chance at ever seeing it.
你刚刚毁掉了再看到它的机会
Jimmy!
吉米
Did you think we might shag?
你本来以为我们可能会上床吗
All right. That's it! I think we're done here.
好了 够了 我觉得没什么好说的了
This was a complete waste of time.
这简直是浪费时间
I got nothing out of this utter debacle!
我从这破事中获取不到任何好处
Me, neither.
我也是
Do you promise it got bigger?
你保证它变大了吗
Damn it.
该死的
Seriously, what is wrong with me?
说真的 我是有什么毛病啊