Good night, sweatpea.
Good night, honey.
There's a stranger in our hot tub!
You do know what "stranger" means, don't you?
Oh, my g -- oh, my god!
How long has he been there?
I saw him exactly one second before you.
You know everything I know.
Okay, I'm -- I'm calling 911.
I'm getting my bat.
Maybe we're overreacting.
Yeah, he could have a very good reason for be --
We should at least say hello.
So I looked that coyote dead in the eye,
and I let him know, without saying a word,
"I will not harm you...
but I'm the alpha here".
And he just stared back at me...
Turns out, Barry just moved into the apartment upstairs
and thought the hot tub was for the whole building.
Anyway, he's a super-cool guy, and he's straight,
总而言之 他酷呆了 而且他是直男
so there's no weirdness.
Aside from you turning into a 16-year-old girl.
Cameron, give me your arm.
Oh, I'm studying to be a reiki master.
What I'm doing is I'm transferring my positive energy
and I'm taking out all the negative energy.
- Now, do you feel that? - I do.
Does it feel warm?
It feels warm, Mitchell.
Imagine that. In a hot tub.
What are you gonna do when he drives by?
I'm gonna tell him to slow down.
I think you should drag him out of his car,
and we all get turns punching him in the stomach
Honey, I think I'm just gonna turn over his license plate
Order a pizza and call the cops.
We'll see who gets here first.
Ever since they put those speed bumps on Oakmont,
some lunatic driver in a crazy sports car
has been racing down our street,
and it is dangerous.
We've got kids here and babies in strollers
and moms who like to jog.
She has to run every day, or she goes crazy.
She's like a border collie.
You're comparing me to a dog?
The smartest dogs in the world.
What are you guys doing?
What the cops won't.
We are catching that speeder,
and when we do, he's gonna get an earful of this.
Oh, my god. Mom, what are you doing?
我的天啊 妈 你在干吗
Why are you being such a freak?!
I am being a freak for safety.
And I'm doing this for you,
because I don't want anything bad to happen to you.
Well, it's embarrassing.
Mom, you need a life.
Why can't you just volunteer at the museum
or bring pudding to old people?
Honey, if anybody's being embarrassing right now,
Luke, I am your father!
That takes me back to the delivery room.
That's what I said to you
when you were coming out of your mom's lady parts.
Oh, my god. I know those girls.
- What? Are you ashamed of us? - Yes!
- 怎么了 你觉得我们丢人吗 - 是的
Ooh. Sweet Valley High!
This is that woman from the house on seventh street!
Yeah, if I sell it by the end of next month,
I dethrone Gil Thorpe as salesman of the quarter.
That's awesome, dad.
That's the speeder! That's the speeder!
Slow down, jerk! Slow down!
开慢点 混蛋 开慢点
Yeah. No. Yeah, that's great.
是的 不 是的 这太好了
- 2-u-r-n-8-0-1. - Yeah. Oh, uh, just the address.
-2urn801 -好的 给我地址就行
- Yep. Okay. 1-0... - 8-0-1. 2-u-r-n. A pen.
-好的 一 零 -801 2urn 笔呢
- 1...North...Seventh... - I gave it to dad.
-一 北边 第七 -我给爸了
- U-r... - ...Street.
- Oh, god. - Okay. 10-4.
-我的天 -好的 10-4
This is gonna be my best year since 2006.
Let's go, kid. Back to the salt mine.
走吧 孩子 该送你去学校了
That's okay, Jay. I'm biking to school today.
不用了 杰 我今天骑自行车去上学
There's a bunch of cool kids
who ride their bikes every day.
Thought I'd join them.
Hey, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
等等 等等 等等 等等
What the hell is that?
My new bike. Mom got it for me yesterday.
Nice ones. Custom made.
They don't usually come on bikes this size.
- Gloria! - What's wrong?
You don't know how to ride a bike?
I know how to ride this bike.
Stephen Hawking could ride that bike.
Ay. What happened?
How could he fall?
You can't send him to school
on a bike with training wheels.
They'll make fun of him.
Didn't you teach him how to ride a bike?
How could I? I don't know how to ride a bike.
2/3 of my house can't do
what a billion Chinese do.
My mother thought that riding a bike was dangerous.
She would say, "that's how people grab you"!
Okay, this is how it's going down.
Today I'm driving you to school,
on the weekend, I'm buying you a bike,
and I'm teaching both of you.
You two have fun. I pass.
It makes no sense.
There's no reason that thing should stay upright.
There's no reason you should stay upright,
but it just works.
Hey, Phil. Come on in.
Well, I couldn't love this entry any more.
It's very welcoming.
Yeah, I got a thing in 10 minutes,
- so I have to make this quick. - Great.
Um, let me run through
my three-pronged approach to selling --
I only need one prong -- sell the house.
I don't want to be that yutz
who prices her house too high
so it sits around for a year
while every lookie-loo without something to do on Sundays
is going through my underwear drawer.
Well, there are quite a few factors to take into --
Uh, we list at 1.4.
We take anything north of 1.25.
I got all the paperwork right here.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You got to buy me a beer
before you can put your hand up my sweater.
Oh, I had no intention --
Put on a great open house this weekend,
the listing's yours.
Bring it, Laura.
You want to test me? I've been tested my whole life.
They could never find anything.
So, uh, Sunday 12:00 to 4:00 for the open house?
- That works for you? - Great.
Great. Oh, and if you have any questions
or you need anything, just call.
When you work with me, you're working with a friend.
That is so sweet. I like you.
God, I hope I don't have to fire you.
Hi. This is Claire. Leave a message.
你好 我是克莱尔 请留言
Hey, honey. It's me.
I just finished the meeting,
and she is the perfect client.
Realistic about the price...
she wants to sell fast, and she's a real character.
You got to...meet her.
But she's moving soon, so what's the point?
Wow, you worked late.
Yes. Brutal day. I just want to sit.
是啊 难熬的一天 我只想马上坐下歇歇
Perfect. Lily's asleep.
Barry's meeting us in the hot tub.
If you're feeling stressed,
he could give you a treatment.
Ah, that's all right.
I have an appointment with Dr. Bigfoot tomorrow.
Okay. Here comes the judge.
Reiki is a bunch of nonsense, Cam.
That guy is a nut.
You do this every time.
We meet a new friend,
they say one thing you don't like,
and you just write 'em off.
Oh, really? What about "but yet Rachel"?
"I'd love to go, but yet, I don't feel like parking".
我很想去 但是可是 我不怎么喜欢逛公园
It's either "but" or "yet",
You're lucky no one's kicked your butt yet.
What about Thomas?
You wrote him off because
he serves the salad after the meal,
which, by the way, is very common in Europe.
What part of Europe is he from? Pretentious-stan?
Keep judging. Don't let anyone in.
I could care less.
I think you mean you couldn't care less,
because if you could care less,
that means that you care a little bit.
All right. I'm going to the hot tub.
If I stay in here one more minute,
my head is literally gonna explode.
Well, I hope not, because if you mean "literally" --
I don't feel safe in my own home!
Phil, honey, I need your help.
菲尔 亲爱的 帮我一把
What is the one thing a speeder can't outrun?
Ooh. Bullets. A laser.
Oh, I know -- a falcon! Dad, jump in.
我知道了 大炮 老爸 快帮我想想
- A laser falcon! - That's awesome.
"Slow down your neighbors"!?
No. "Slow down" --
talking to the speeder --
Who's talking to the speeder?
It doesn't say that.
Yeah, it just says "Slow down your neighbors"!
- Phil. - I know what you were going for,
but now all I can see is "slow down your neighbors"!
Well, you're all wrong, 'cause this is incredibly clear.
And it's really important.
We need to put these signs up all over the neighborhood.
I don't know. It seems kind of cowardly.
Why don't you just make an anonymous call to the police?
I called the police, and they were totally unhelpful.
Phil, come on. Are you with me or not?
Of course I'm with you.
Who else would I be with? This guy?
I have no connection to this guy.
- Good! - No!
-很好 帮我把它贴出去 -不
Before you judge me,
I have come in second to Gil Thorpe
for salesman of the quarter seven quarters in a row.
Nobody remembers second best.
Oh, yeah, everybody loves Michael Jordan,
but nobody thinks of Scottie Pippen.
The only reason I remember him
is because he's named after my favorite musical.
- Oh, hey, Mitch. - Hey. It's Barry.
Uh, I just want to let you guys know
you got a sprinkler head that's leaking out there.
Oh. Thanks, Barry. I'll let the gardener know.
谢谢你 贝瑞 我会通知园丁的
All right. Or maybe I could just wave my hands over it
and heal it that way.
Oh, god. That was a good one.
Look, don't worry about it.
As soon as I started talking about reiki,
I could tell you thought I might be a little nutty.
Was I that obvious?
You roll your eyes a lot.
I-I once saw a picture of myself
at a friend's poetry slam,
and all you could see were the whites of my eyes.
Yeah, I looked like Little Orphan Annie.
Anyway, I'm sorry if I offended you.
No. Don't apologize.
Look, I -- only thing that offends me
is a man who doesn't live in his own truth.
And I appreciate how hard you're trying
not to roll your eyes right now.
'Cause I'm about to pass out!
What the hell's he wearing?
Protection pads. He needs more?
We're riding bikes. We're not training police dogs.
All right, kid. Come on. Get on.
好了 孩子 过来 上来吧
All right, we ready?
Be careful, papi.
I've seen the kid fall down
on that moving sidewalk at the airport,
so I didn't have high hopes.
But what do you know? The kid was a natural.
Mom! It's so easy!
Be careful with the bump!
Hey, wait a minute. Who's that guy?
Jay, he's gonna grab him!
Oh, no one's grabbing anyone. It's a neighbor.
Gloria, on the other hand,
was a natural disaster.
There are three things you want to do before you ride.
Check your shoelaces, adjust your mirror,
and test your bell.
Okay. Shoelaces tied...
the mirror is good...
...the bell is ringing.
Ay, no, no, no, Jay.
Don't push me! I don't want to get hurt!
Trust me. I'm not gonna hurt you.
You're a work of art.
If you get scratched,
the value goes down.
I'm making a joke to lighten the mood.
Relax. You're not gonna fall.
I got you. Put your feet on the pedals.
Now look where you're going.
Look where you're going!
No, I'm falling. I'm falling.
不 我要摔了 我要摔了
Look straight ahead. Go, go, go.
- Pedal! - No, Jay!
-踩踏板 -不要 杰
What are you ringing the bell for?
Ay! Why you let me go, Jay?!
Look where you're going! Look where you're going!
I'm gonna kill you, Jay!
Okay. Good day's work.
What do you say we hit the jewelry store?
Taking this...sign down!
I recognized your license plate.
This is ridiculous!
I know. They're all over the neighborhood.
What kind of lunatic does something like this?
It's probably some bored housewife
who hates her husband and hates her life,
so she takes it out on the rest of us!
Or things are so good at home,
she's out looking for problems.
This woman needs to get laid.
I don't think that's the issue.
Here. Stick this up.
Send her a message from me.
What happened to my sign?
I put it up, I went away,
I came back -- it was in pieces!
Claire, this whole thing is crazy.
Maybe we should back off a little bit.
You know what, Phil? No.
I am not gonna back off.
Okay? I am doing this for the safety of our neighborhood.
Well, what's going on here?
Just getting rid of some negative energy.
Oh, well, in that case, we'll be back Tuesday.
You're all set, Mitch.
- Oh, man, that was -- that was great. - Yeah?
-伙计 感觉真舒服啊 -是吧
- Namaste. - Namaste.
All right. I'm gonna get out of your hair.
I'm gonna grab a quick tub
and see if I can rustle up some food.
Oh, no. Hey, don't rustle.
We're making dinner tonight. You're coming.
- Yeah? - Yes.
See? It's working already.
You know what I'm looking for.
- He's a very nice guy. - That's not it.
I'm sorry I made a snap judgment.
Oh. Mrs. Ko. I'm Cameron.
Mitchell's the other one.
What are you doing here?
I just finished showing the apartment upstairs.
What do you mean? What about Barry?
Nobody living up there. It's empty.
- But... - You see anybody up there, you call me.
You two so lucky they don't let you get married.
The problem wasn't me.
It was Jay. He's a very bad teacher.
I don't respond to that.
I need somebody gentle, nurturing,
Hey. Gloria. What's up?
Can you teach me how to ride a bike?
You can't ride a bike?
I love that about you.
I was beginning to think you didn't have any flaws.
Listen, I wish I could,
but I'm late for an open house.
- Really? - Sure.
I'm a great bike rider.
I've taught a bunch of my friends.
I never taught anyone anything.
But my playdate canceled, so I was wide open.
Oh. Hey, Cameron.
What are you doing in there?
I'm just tidying up a little bit.
Are you living in our daughter's princess castle?!
No, don't be ridiculous.
I'm living in here, man.
I'm sleeping in there.
You said you had just moved in upstairs.
No, I said I just moved in.
I'm -- I'm sorry. I thought it was implied...
that you're living in a dollhouse?
Okay. Let's not do this outside.
You want to go inside
and talk about this like two adults?
Yes. Let's do that.
- No! - It's okay. I just cleaned up.
-不是这间屋 -没关系 我刚打扫过
Oh, my God! You are living in here!
Are you homeless?
Look at this place.I mean...
Okay. I can't even believe I'm having to say this,
but you can't -- you can't stay here.
This is about the --
the body work I did with Mitchell, isn't it?
'Cause I would understand if that was...
No. You are living in a little girl's toy,
and you have to move out.
Okay, well, this is gonna make dinner really awkward.
There's no dinner! Dinner is off!
Okay? Now, come on. Let's go.
明白了吗 快点 走吧
No, no, no. Don't touch me. I don't like to be touched.
不 不 不 别碰我 我不喜欢别人碰我
You're a massage therapist.
I'm a reiki master. Very little touching.
Okay, Barry. Listen to me.
好吧 贝瑞 听我说
You're a very nice man.
Mitchell and I like you very much.
But I'm -- you're welcome.
I'm going to take your hand...
Don't give me the coyote look. I'm not a canine.
We're gonna walk out of here together.
Nobody's gonna hurt you.
Oh, this is not gonna end very well.
Mitchell! Call 911!
He's been living in Lily's castle!
Oh, my god! I thought he was living upstairs!
Just call the police!
Do you want me to stop and give you the whole story?!
I never -- I never said upstairs.
Call 911! Stop pinching!
Okay. And just for the record,
I still don't think you should judge people!
What scares you about riding a bike?
Losing control and falling down.
Somebody grabbing me?
That's weird. What else?
- Looking foolish. - Okay.
See, all these bad thoughts are holding you back.
So how do we get rid of these bad thoughts?
No, don't you dare!
- Ride! - Luke, stop it!
-快骑 -卢克 快停下
- No! - I said ride!
- Ride! - I'm gonna tell your mother!
What? That you're riding a bike?
No, that you're...
Yes! I'm riding the bike!
It was the greatest feeling in the world.
There was nothing to be afraid of.
Get off the bike! Get off the bike!
- Give it to me! Give it to me! - Ay, don't grab me!
-把车给我 给我 -别抓我
No, no! No, don't grab me!
不 不 不 别抓我
Go, go, go, go, go! Go!
走开 走开 走开
Thanks so much for coming. It was great to meet you both.
Hey, great. Lots of people.
Listen, I was thinking about those signs.
"Slow down your neighbors"!
Oh, actually, I think they meant
"slow down" -- talking to you --
Who's talking? "Your neighbors".
Yeah, um, you think maybe it's possible
that you do drive a little too fast
in a residential neighborhood
with children present, maybe, or...
Oh, Phil, I appreciate your concern,
but I am not the problem.
It's the crazy sign lady
who can't put a sentence together --
that's your problem.
I had to get some water.
I was chasing that crazy maniac.
And you just gave up?
That's not the Claire that I know.
- Get back out there! - Really?
Phil, I left my phone at the drugstore.
- I'll be right back. - Okay, bye.
-我一会儿就回来 -好的 待会见
Hey. Hi. I'm Claire Dunphy.
Let's not talk her ear off.
I'm Laura. Nice to meet you.
Oh, beautiful house.
Hey, are you going by Greenleaf?
I just overdid it on my bike,
and I cannot get back on there.
No problem. I'll give you a ride.
That's a terrible idea.
I wish I were one of those people
who thrives on the danger of leading a double life.
You know, Bruce Wayne,
That's a terrible...idea,
because your bike is here.
What are you gonna do? Leave it? That's rude!
你准备怎么办 就把车丢在这 那太失礼了
Oh, just pick it up whenever.
Whenever?! What's "whenever"?
That's so open-ended.
Come on, Claire. Let's fly.
走吧 克莱尔 咱们走
Ahh. I love her energy.
So, why do you want to move?
Ah, I want a high-rise with a doorman.
Besides, this neighborhood is getting a little crazy.
Oh, tell me about it.
There's this one whack job...
You know, don't say another word.
I bet I know exactly who you're thinking of.
Claire was furious.
She said I betrayed her on every level.
So, I called the florist,
and I have ordered one dozen mylar balloons.
Good luck staying mad, honey.
Come on, which civilization invent the alphabet
We've been over this a hundred times.
Allow me, dad. I'm a great teacher.
老爸 让我来 我是个很厉害的老师
Who invented the alphabet?
我 不 知 道
I got soaked! What are you doing?!
Luke, that's enough!
I don't know! I don't know! I don't know!
我不知道 我不知道 我不知道
The Phoenicians! The Phoenicians!
Teacher of the year.
She's all yours, buddy.