摩登家庭 第二季 Modern Family Season 2 第15集: Princess Party

上映日期: 2,010

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: Jason Winer

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹


台词
It's so unfair. You told me I could go.
这不公平 你说了让我去的
I told you you could go if you
我说的是
got a B on your History exam, which you didn't.
你历史课要拿到"良"才能去 可你没拿到
I have a learning disability.
我有学习功能障碍
The letters jump around on the page
课文的字母像是会跑会跳
and appear backwards.
而且还颠三倒四的
Honey, we had you tested like six times.
宝贝 咱去给医生检查过六七次了
Trust me, I was praying for dyslexia.
相信我 我也宁可你真有阅读障碍
Oh, my God, why can't you ever let me have any fun?!
我的天啊 你就不能让我过得开心点吗
Ew. Ew. Dad, gross.
老爸 太恶心了
Your hand smells like cheese!
你的手都是起司味
I didn't want to dirty a knife. Sit.
我不想把餐刀弄脏嘛 坐下
Now, we all know when Nana Dede comes to visit,
咱都知道每次迪蒂姥姥来的时候
- your mom can get a little... - Psycho?
-你们的妈都会有点... -抽风吗
- Scary. - Drunk?
-恐怖吗 -像发酒疯吗
All true.
都有
Therefore, I need you guys to be on your best behavior.
所以 我要你们都拿出最棒最乖的一面
Don't worry. I'll keep to myself.
别担心 我一向如此
I have to practice for my cello recital.
我还得练习我的大提琴独奏会曲目呢
Ohh, fine.
随便你吧
You know what? If it keeps you out of your mom's hair, yes,
这样吧 只要能让你远离你妈的"雷区"
do that.
就做吧
Luke, if your mom starts to lose it,
卢克 如果你妈要抓狂了
I need you to lighten the mood by being extra cute.
你一定要加倍卖萌 努力让她恢复正常
No problem. I've got some stuff prepared.
包我身上 我准备好了几招呢
"Hey, mom, I'm firsty".
马麻 伦家好口渴哦
Heh? Adorable, right?
不错吧 可爱不
Yeah, that's... that's good.
还...还行吧
Don't worry. It works better in my jammies.
别担心 我穿上睡衣 装可爱的效果就棒了
Cam, Monica can't come to Lily's birthday party this weekend.
小卡 莫妮卡这周末来不了莉莉的生日会了
Her mom's gonna be in Chicago.
她妈妈要来芝加哥[双关演音乐剧"芝加哥"]
Oh, that's fantastic! What part is she playing?
太棒了 她要演啥
The city of Chicago.
芝加哥 地名
Okay. Gun to your head...
好吧 假设现在有枪指着你要你选
which pair should I wear?
你说哪双比较好
Oh. Gun to my head.
拿枪逼我选啊
I'd say, pull the trigger.
我选直接毙了我吧
What's that supposed to mean?
你这是啥意思
No Fizbo.
不准演费兹波
Okay, w-why?!
可是 为什么不行嘛
C-Cam, the center of attention at Lily's party should be Lily,
小卡 莉莉的生日会焦点应该是莉莉
not Fizbo the needy clown.
而不是想要众人关爱的小丑费兹波
I'm sorry. Excuse me. "Needy"?
不好意思没听清 你说谁想要众人关爱
"Why aren't they laughing, Mitchell?
"他们为虾米不笑呢 米奇尔"
"Why aren't they clapping
"为虾米我从嘴里拉出一条手绢来
when I'm pulling the handkerchief out of my mouth?"
"他们也不鼓掌呢"
It's 10 feet long
那是条十英尺长的手绢
with boxer shorts at the end.
而且最后一节还绑了四角裤
It works on so many levels.
完全没有理由不鼓掌
Yeah. Well, also,
好吧 但是
it's a princess theme party, so...
这毕竟是"小公主"主题生日会 所以...
I guess you just don't respect party themes.
你根本没把派对主题放在眼里吧
You did not just say that.
你居然说这种话
I'm sorry. That was... That was crossing a line.
对不起 这...这说的是有点过分
Yes, it was.
非常过分
So? Can Fizbo come to the party?
所以呢 费兹波能不能"来"生日会嘛
No! No!
不 没戏
You are Lily's dad. Just be there as her dad.
你是莉莉的爸爸 以好爸爸的身份出席就行了
Are you implying I'm not being a good dad now?
你是说我现在不是个好爸爸吗
Well, if the shoe fits...
你说是就是呗...[双关"如果鞋子合脚"]
They don't. They're comically large.
不合脚 它们都大得吓人
Hey, mom.
老妈
Dad and nana just pulled in.
爸爸和姥姥停好车了
Claire bear!
克莱尔乖乖
Ohh. Oh, my sweet girl!
我的小宝贝儿
Gosh, I forget that you're all grown up.
天啊 我都忘了你都长这么大了
You know, in my mind, you're still 12.
我总觉得你还是个12岁小姑娘似的
Well, look at us... just two old ladies.
看看咱俩...两个小老太啦
We're home!
我们回来啦
Oh, good.
回来就好
And we bought Lily a beautiful birthday gift.
我们给莉莉买了非常棒的生日礼物哦
Yeah. I was pushing for a cashmere throw.
我本来一直争取买羊毛毯的
Look, Jay. It's a talking storybook.
杰 我买了本有声读物
We record ourselves reading it,
咱们可以把声音录进去
and then at night,
这样到了晚上
Lily can hear our voices before she goes to sleep.
莉莉就能听着咱们的声音入睡了
Terrible idea.
糟透了
Unlike the timelessness of cashmere.
就说还是羊绒永恒
Enough with the cashmere!
别再叨叨羊绒了
Why is it a terrible idea?
这礼物哪里糟了嘛
Don't you remember the answering-machine message?
你不记得答录机事件了吗
Hi, you've reached Jay...
你好 这里是杰...
And Gloria.
和歌洛莉亚的家
Please leave a message after the...
请在这之后留下讯息... "嗒"
You didn't say "beep".
你没说"哔"
If I say "beep",
如果我说了"哔"字
then the people will think it's the beep.
别人可能以为这就是那声"哔"
No, I think they're gonna know to wait for the actual beep.
不会 他们知道该等到真正的"哔"声后的
- I don't think they'll know. - Just trust me.
-我不觉得他们会知道 -听我的就对了
Okay, fine.
那好吧
- Hi, you've reached Jay... - And Gloria.
-你好 这里是杰... -和歌洛莉亚的家
Please leave a message after the beeeeeep!
请在"哔"声后留言
What was that?
你闹啥呢
You told me to make the beep.
你跟我讲要"哔"
No, I didn't tell you to make the beep.
我不是让你模仿"哔"声
I told you to say the word "beep."
我是让你说哔字
If I say the word,
如果我说了哔字
then people think it's the beep.
会让人以为那是真的"哔"声嘛
- It's not the beep! - Then why even say it?!
-那不是真的"哔"声 -那干嘛还要说那哔字
So, anyways,
对了
you'll never guess who I saw at the airport.
你肯定猜不到我在机场碰到谁了
Mm. Who's that?
谁啊
Robbie Sullivan.
罗比·苏利文
Robbie... my Robbie Sullivan from high school?
罗比...跟我同一个高中的罗比·苏利文吗
God, I haven't seen him in...years.
天啊 我有...好几年没见过他了
Decades, really.
应该是"几十年"了
I always liked him.
我一直挺喜欢他的
And as I recall,
而且我还记得
the two of you couldn't keep your hands off each other.
你们俩老是对对方毛手毛脚的
Oh, really, mom?
真的呀 老妈
That's...not true.
当然是...假的
It is true. I read it in your diary.
是真的 你日记里写的
You read my diary!
你偷看我日记
Well...Yeah.
好吧
I-I read it
我 我是读过
because I wanted to see if you were on drugs.
我这不想看看你嗑没嗑药嘛
It's called parenting, Claire.
这是爱的管教 克莱尔
- So, mom, what's going on with Chad... - Okay, buddy.
-那 老妈 查德怎么样 -伙计
we're gonna need you on the front lines sooner than expected.
看来你得提前上前线了
Are you ready to be cute?
准备好卖萌了没
- Please. - Go get 'em.
-废话 -上吧
Hi, mommy. My tummy's growling.
妈咪 伦家的小肚肚咕噜咕噜的呢
Can I have some pas-ghetti?
伦家想吃通心粉粉嘛
Sweetie, you're hurting me.
宝贝 你弄痛我了
And take a shower tonight. Your hair smells like cheese.
还有 今晚去洗个澡吧 你头发闻起来像起司
I'll get it.
我来开门
Okay, I need a giant lollipop,
我要一个巨大号棒棒糖
and I need it now.
现在就要
Oh, there's my girl!
我的宝贝妞来了
Oh, my God.
天啊
- Robbie?! - Look at you!
-罗比 -瞅瞅你
Surprise!
惊喜啊
I invited him to dinner!
我请他来吃晚饭的
What?
Didn't I tell you she'd be excited?
我就说了她会超激动吧
Huh? I... Uh-huh.
我...
I don't know what to say.
我不知道该说什么
Well, maybe a fuzzy navel wine cooler will loosen you up.
也许来杯气泡水果鸡尾酒能让你放松一下
Sure used to.
至少以前管用
Hey, honey, who's this?
亲爱的 这是哪位
This is, um...
这位是...
Robbie...
罗比
My boyfriend from when I was 17 years old,
我十七岁时的男朋友
whom my mom invited to dinner.
我妈请他来吃晚饭
Fasten your seatbelts.
准备好要来狂欢了吗[直译为"系紧安全带"]
Phil Dunphy.
我是菲尔·邓菲
Hey, Phil. How do you know Claire?
菲尔 你好 你和克莱尔怎么认识的
I know Claire from being married to Claire.
自打跟她结婚 我就认识她了
Wait a minute. Uh...
等等
Mom didn't mention that I'm married
我妈没跟你提我结婚了
- with three kids? - No. All she said
-还有仨娃吗 -没有 她只说
was that you were still trying to figure out your life.
你还在试图找寻生命的目标
- Really? - Yeah.
-真的 -对
- Okay. Mom? - Dede?
-老妈 你怎么解释 -迪蒂
- Aren't we all? - Uh, no. Not really.
-谁不是在找目标呢 -不是吧
Why would you not mention that I'm married?
你为什么不跟他说我结婚了
Oh, God, Claire.
老天 克莱尔
Not everything in a conversation is about you.
跟人家聊天干嘛一定得提到你
Mom...
妈...
...I could use some help in the kitchen.
...麻烦您老来厨房一趟
Your words, not mine.
你说的哦 我可没说过
You came here in a limo?
你开加长轿车来的?
Yep. That's right, little dude.
没错 小朋友
Are you rich?
你很有钱吗
Luke, that's not polite.
卢克 这样问很不礼貌哦
Maybe Robbie isn't rich,
罗比没准儿没什么钱
美国交警不检查加长轿车司机酒驾 因其通常是婚礼用车
but he needs a limo because he has a lot of DUIs.
他只是需要加长轿车来逃避醉驾盘查
Nope. It's nothing like that.
不 那是瞎扯
The truth is, Luke, I am rich,
事实上 卢克 我富得流油
but not with money.
当然不是指金钱上
I've got my abs,
我有迷人的腹肌
I've got my hair,
外加一头秀发
and I've got a super-sweet job driving that limo outside.
我的工作就是开外面那辆加长轿车到处跑
- Cool. - It is cool.
-酷毙了 -是很酷
Hey, Luke, who's taller?
卢克 我和你爸
Me or your dad?
谁个儿高
Oh... I don't think we need to...
我觉得咱们没必要...
I am just wearing socks, buddy.
我没穿鞋哦
I just don't understand why you invited him to my house.
我真不能理解你把他叫来是想干嘛
Because he's an old friend.
他是个老朋友嘛
What was I gonna do... not invite him?
不然你想让我怎样...不鸟他吗
Yes. Yes.
没错
Sweetheart, I don't know about you,
宝贝 我不知道你是啥情况
but that is not the way I was raised.
但我小时候可不是这么被教育的
You raised me.
我是被你教育大的
You're overthinking this.
总之是你想太多了
I was thinking that it might be a hoot
我还以为见到他
for you to see him again.
能让你高兴呢
And did you think it might be a hoot to ask me first?
那你想过没 提前跟我打个招呼我会更高兴
No. If I'd asked you, you would have said no.
没 如果我事先问你 你肯定不会答应
Of course, mom. Of course I would have said no.
废话 老妈 我当然不会答应
Oh. And I'm the bad guy.
所以一切都是我的错吗
Honestly, Claire,
说真的 克莱尔
I wish I had a tape recorder.
我真希望能把你的话录下来
"Once upon a time, there lived a family of bears.
"很久很久之前 有一家小熊熊
"There was papa bear"...
"家里有熊爸爸..."
That's you, Jay.
该你了 杰
Ah. Okay. Let's see.
好吧 我看看啊
Do you want me to hold it and stand in the driveway?
是不是要我到院子里举这书你才能看见啊
"Holy mackerel, this is good salmon."
"老天啊 这鲑鱼真不错"
I feel like they missed an oppor...
我觉得他们错过...
"I don't want to eat the fish.
"我不要吃鱼
They are my friends!"
"它们都是我的好朋友"
What kind of voice is that?
你鬼哭狼嚎什么呢
- I am a bear. - A bear?
-我在扮演熊熊 -你那是熊吗
I was gonna get a crucifix.
我差点要去拿十字架来驱魔了
"And then the baby bear said..."
"然后小熊熊说..."
"Good night, mama. Good night, papa.
"妈咪晚安 爸爸安安
This has been the best day ever."
"这是我有生以来最高兴的一天"
"And after she kissed her parents good night,
"接着她跟父母分别晚安亲亲
"she drifted off to sleep.
"然后慢慢进入梦乡
"The end."
"故事完"
She? Baby bear's a girl?
"她"吗 这是只小母熊啊
We have to do it over.
那咱得重来一遍
I would have played it totally different.
小母熊可不能这么演
- I think you nailed it. - And what's that supposed to mean?
-我倒觉得你挺像的 -你啥意思
Manny, you're fine.
曼尼 没事了
But, Jay, I need to tell you something.
但是 杰 我得跟你说两句
It's a bear, Gloria. I did the best I could.
我已经尽力扮演一只熊了 歌洛莉亚
No. I don't want you to get upset about this,
不 我要说的是 我不想你不开心
but I'm not going to the party.
可是我不去那生日派对了
What?
什么
Yeah, it's because your ex-wife is going to be there,
因为你前妻也要去
and we're never good together.
你知道我们一直处不来
I'm feeling very nervous.
我一想这个就紧张
It's better that I stay here.
我还是不去了比较好
Wow. I...
我...
I don't know what to say.
我真不知道该怎么说
Greatest news ever!
简直是特大喜讯
So you're okay with this?
你同意了是吧
Well, I wouldn't say I'm okay with it, but I get it.
也不能说很同意吧 但我理解
I feel like I'm in the same boat with your friend's daughter's
其实我对去参加你朋友女儿的初次圣礼
初次圣礼: 天主教仪式 指第一次领圣餐
first communion coming up.
也是一样的感觉
I always felt like the husband never liked me.
我一直觉得那女孩儿她爸不喜欢我
Maybe you're right.
或许你是对的
I should probably skip it.
我压根儿就不该去
Wait, wait, wait.
等等
So Robbie Sullivan's at your house right now.
你是说罗比·苏利文现在在你家
Yes, he is having dinner with my family.
对 他正跟我家跟我家人共进晚餐呢
And let me tell you something.
跟你们说
This chick was fat.
那小妞超肥的
Every time he opens his mouth,
他每张一次嘴
I can feel my daughters losing respect for me.
我就感觉我女儿对我的尊重越来越低了
You know, I never liked that guy.
其实我一直都不喜欢那家伙
He used to always put me in a headlock.
他总是用手臂给我来个"锁喉"
It is amazing the freaks we used to date.
咱们怎么老和极品约会啊
'Ello, gov'nah!
"各位盆友 乃们好啊"
I gotta jump.
我得挂了
All right. Let's hear it.
好吧 你继续
Sir Fizbo-lot,
费兹波·拉特
royal court Jester, at your service.
皇家剧团御用小丑 为您效劳
I understand there's a little princess
我听说这儿有位小公主
'oos in need of a jolly good time!
想乐呵乐呵
No!
没戏
Your 'ighness said that the clown
殿下 您说过小丑
doesn't fit the princess theme.
不适合出现在公主生日会
But "me finks"...
但是鄙人愚见...
That a court Jester is right as rain!
皇家御用小丑简直太合适了
There goes the theory
我再也不信人家说的
that an English accent makes everyone sound smart.
英国口音会让人听起来聪明些的垃圾理论了
Oh, come on.
拜托
It's gonna be a boring party without any entertainment.
如果一点娱乐节目都没有 生日会多无聊啊
I agree, which is why I hired a princess.
这点我赞同 所以我雇了个公主
Cue the gasp.
惊呼开始
How could you do that? How dare you?!
你怎么能 你怎么敢
Entertaining and delighting children is who I am.
我生来就是为了让孩子们开心的
Just be a parent.
你还是先当好家长吧
- But I want to... - Go.
-但我很想... -给我出去
- I want to... - Now. Stop.
-我想... -住嘴
I was thinking about what you said,
我想了一下你刚才说的话
and maybe I should go to the party.
我觉得我还是该去那个生日会
What'd I say? I didn't say anything.
我说什么啦 我什么都没说啊
About Maria Victoria's first communion.
你说的玛利亚·维多利亚初次圣礼的事
We cannot let other people
我们不能因为外人
make us miss important family events.
而错失自己的家庭活动
What? I'm gonna miss Alex's graduation,
难道我不能去艾丽克斯的毕业典礼
all of Haley's weddings, just because of Dede?
还有海莉的所有婚礼 就因为那个迪蒂吗
I love them. They're my family, too.
我也爱他们 他们也是我的家人
Whoa, whoa. Slow down.
等等
You're up to weddings already?
你都准备参加婚礼了吗
H-h-how about this?
这么着吧
Try missing tomorrow,
明天先别去了
and then just see how that feels.
看看你到底啥感觉
Ay, Jay.
You're so good to me.
你对我真好
That's why I have to go.
所以我更得去了
You're gonna be there for me
我知道明天你会陪着我
the same way I'm gonna be there for you
就好像玛利亚·维多利亚初次圣礼那天
at Maria Victoria's first communion.
我也会陪着你一样
Wait a minute. That's back on the table?
等等 怎么连这事都不能幸免
Well, you know, we didn't want to break curfew.
你知道的 我们不想破坏门禁的规定
Curfew?!
门禁
Oh, right.
不是吧
As if you two ever honored a curfew.
你们俩压根就没把门禁当过一回事
I love your stories, Nana. Keep on goin'.
姥姥 我喜欢你的故事 继续说
Your father used to scare the crap out of me.
你老爹以前把我吓的屁滚尿流的
Well, evidently not enough to keep you from sneaking in
显然还是没成功的喝阻你 让你不再
3:00 in the morning.
凌晨三点溜进来
I didn't know whether to punish you
我都不知道是要骂你
or make you pancakes.
还是帮你做个煎饼
Hey, hey! Ha ha ha ha!
喂 喂 哈哈哈哈
Halfway through dinner, I told Claire
晚餐吃到一半时 我跟克莱尔说
that whenever she had the urge to lash out at her mother,
无论何时她忍不住要喷她妈妈的时候
she should just squeeze my hand instead.
她就捏我的手发泄就可以了
A doctor had to cut off my wedding ring.
捏肿到一个医生得把我的结婚戒指切下来
Claire, you remember that time we cut school
克莱尔你记得那时候我们翘课
- and we went out to the pier... - Mm-hmm.
-然后去码头 -恩
...And we played that game, and you won the...
我们玩了那个游戏 你赢了
- Giant panda bear! - The panda bear... Right.
-大熊猫 -大熊猫 是的
Yeah. Yes.
是啊是啊
Yeah.
对的
Do you remember what we did after that?
记得那之后我们做了什么吗
Yes.
记得
Hey, do you still like roller coasters?
你还喜欢坐过山车吗
Not this one.
不了
You know, Robbie was a rogue,
知道吗 虽然罗比当年是个坏孩子
but he could charm your socks off.
但他就是能把你迷的袜子都掉了
Although I doubt he stopped there.
虽然我不太相信他会就此打住
- Wow, mom. - Mom?
-哇塞 老妈 -妈
We're all adults here, honey, pretty much.
我们这儿都是成年人 亲爱的 几乎都是
Okay, I think we're... we're done.
好了 我觉得 我们吃好了
Yeah, well, I better get going.
好吧 我还是该走了
I've got an early-morning run, celebrity client.
我明早还有活 客户是个名人
Don't ask me who.
别问我他是谁
Let's just say that if I'm late,
要是我迟到了
I'll be in Jeopardy.
我的命将会在危险边缘摇摇欲坠
Who is Alex Trebek?
谁是艾利克斯·崔百克
Jeopardy危险边缘: 美国知名猜谜节目 主持人就是Alex Trebek艾利克斯·崔百克
Uh, he's a game-show host. Why?
是个游戏节目主持人 怎么了
No reason.
没什么
- Claire. - Yes?
-克莱尔 -什么事
This was incredible. Thanks a lot.
这真是很棒的一餐 谢谢
S-so great. It was so great.
太棒了 这太棒了
- So good to see you. - I know.
-很高兴见到你 -我知道
Catching up was so fun.
老朋友重新聚一聚的确是挺有意思的
Really good.
很好
Hey, you... you take good care.
你 你保重
- You take good care, now. - Yes.
-保重 -是的
Ohh, let's do it. Let's do that.
就这样 就这样
I'll walk you out.
我送你出去
Bye!
再见
- Really, mom? - I was young.
-都是真的吗 老妈 -我那时还年轻
I thought he was sexy.
我觉得他很性感
- Go to your room. - Okay.
-回房去 -好吧
I did it.
我做到了
She brought all the crazy in her arsenal,
她把她那些狗屁倒灶的把戏都使出来了
and I did not crack.
而我没有翻脸
I think a bone in my hand did.
我的一根手骨倒是断裂了[断裂与翻脸同字]
Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
亲爱的 对不起 对不起
- You know what hurt more? - What?
-你知道什么伤我更深吗 -什么
I used to think your mother loved me.
我以前觉得你妈妈喜欢我的
Apparently, she always wished you'd married Robbie.
看来 她一直都是希望你嫁给罗比
Oh, no, sweetie.
不是的 亲爱的
This was all about her trying to annoy me.
这一切只是她想要烦我
Come on. She's practically walking you two down the aisle.
算了吧 它实际上是想让你们两个结婚来着
His phone.
他的电话
All those mother's day cards I sent her...
这些年来 我送给她的那些母亲节贺卡
All those joke e-mails she forwarded to me
还有那些她转给我的那些
months after I'd already seen them.
我老早就看过的笑话邮件
Well, no more polite "LOLs" for you, Dede.
我以后再也不会礼貌的回你"哈哈"了 迪蒂
Oh! Oh! Holy cow!
不会吧 我擦
Wow. Okay, well...
好吧 好吧
You were right. It's not about me.
你是对的 不是针对我
Oh, God.
天呐
You are princess...
你是公主
Stop eyeing the princess. You're gonna freak her out.
别盯着公主看了 你会吓到她的
I don't know.
我不知道
I-I think the whole idea of needing a prince to come along
我觉得整个等待王子过来
and make you happy,
让你开心笑开怀的桥段
sends the wrong message, Mitchell.
会传达错误的信息 米奇尔
I really do.
我真这么觉得
Really? And a grown man
真的吗 一个成年男子
pulling boxer shorts out of his mouth doesn't.
从嘴里拉出四角裤就不会传达错误的信息吗
I'm...
- Hey. - Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.
-你好啊 -好好好好好好
Hi. Hi, sweetie.
你好 亲爱的
Hey, Phil.
你好菲尔
So...Where is she? Where's mom?
那么 她在哪里 妈妈在哪里
Yeah, let's get the weirdness over with.
先来把尴尬的部分先处理掉吧
Oh, no. I thought she was coming with you.
没有啊 我以为她和你一起来呢
Oh, no, no.
没有没有
I haven't seen mom since... let's see...
我们自从... 那天之后就没见过他
oh, she made out with my ex-boyfriend last night.
对了 是昨晚 她还和我前男友亲热了
- What? - Yeah.
-什么 -真的
No, my God!
不 我的天呐
Yeah. Yeah.
真的 真的
And then she took off with him,
然后就和他一起离开了
didn't come back to the house until after I was asleep,
直到我睡着以前都没有回来
and then this morning left a cute little note
今早又留了张可爱的小纸条
that said, "Having breakfast with Robbie!"
上面说 和罗比享用早餐
What the hell is she doing? He's half her age!
她到底在干什么 他只有她一半大
Don't say it.
不准说
I think it's sweet.
我觉得这很甜蜜
Love is beautiful. It has no age.
爱情是很美丽的 和年纪无关
When it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
当爱来的时候 就爱吧
That is the question.
就是这样的
Dad, what's going on over there?
老爸 她怎么了
She was a little nervous about your mother being here,
你妈妈会来 让她有些紧张
so she tried her first Xanax,
她吃了第一片阿普唑仑
阿普唑仑:抗焦虑催眠药
washed it down with a shot of tequila.
还是用龙舌兰酒喝下去的
Ay, look at the princess. It's so beautiful.
看看 那个公主 太美了
Really? 'Cause I don't see it.
是吗 我可没看出来
Excuse me.
借过
There's the birthday girl!
这就是我们的小寿星
Glitter?
荧光粉吗
That'll settle in her lungs.
她会吸进肺里的
So, I wanted to ask what method of payment you prefer...
我是想问问 你想要哪一种付款方式
Cash, credit card, check?
现金 刷卡还是支票
Why, princesses don't get paid,
为什么给钱 公主不需要报酬
except maybe in laughter and sparkles.
只需要笑声和亮晶晶的火花
That's nice. But I really need to know.
很可爱 但是我真想知道
All I ask is that a little girl's birthday wishes...
我要的只是小寿星的生日愿望
Come true
实现
Miss, seriously,
小姐 说真的
if you want to get paid, I need to...
你要是想得到报酬 我得有你的
Fine. You can make the check out to Party Stars Incorporated.
好吧 你可以用支票付给派对明星公司
Never break character. Never, ever!
永远不能停演角色 绝对不行
- But... - "But" Nothing.
-但是 -没有但是
When I was a clown, my shoe caught on fire,
我当小丑的时候 我鞋子着火了
and one of my fellow clowns
我一起的一个小丑
put me out with a bucket of flammable confetti.
用了易燃的彩纸桶来帮我灭火
What's happening?
怎么了
Even as they loaded me into the ambulance,
就连他们抬我上救护车的时候
I continued to make balloon animals!
我还在吹气球折动物
Flammable confetti?
易燃的彩纸吗
There was a Seltzer bottle right there!
当时有一瓶气泡矿泉水也没用它
Oh, hi!
你好
I cannot believe it.
我真不敢相信
She brought him to the party!
她把他带到派对来了
Oh, my God! I'm gonna kill her.
天呐 我要去杀了她
- I'm gonna... - Stop. No, not... not now.
-我要 -停下 别 现在别
The last thing I need is some big scene, Claire.
我最不需要的就是来个大闹剧 克莱尔
You know, she's doing this just to torture me.
你知道她这样做只是要折磨我
No, no. She's doing this to get back at me
不 不 她这是为了报复我
because I didn't let her stay with us.
因为我不想让她和我们住一起
You're both wrong. This is about me.
你们都错了 是因为我
I got the young girl. She had to get the young guy.
我娶了年轻的姑娘 她就带个小伙子
Well, she and I are good.
她和我还挺好
We had a long talk last night
我们昨晚灌完那一瓶酒
after you and I "split" that bottle of wine,
长谈了一次
and you "fell asleep" on the stairs.
然后你在楼梯上睡着了
I don't know why everybody's getting so upset about this.
我不明白为什么大家对这事都很不爽
Maybe it's about passion,
他们可能只是热情使然啊
about what the body wants,
或是肉体的需求
what the... what the heart wants for the heart.
或是她的心想要什么
Dad, seriously, can you
老爸 真的 你能
deal with Cheech and Chong?
处理一下这两麻烦人物吗
Hi, everyone.
你们好啊
Jay, Gloria.
杰 歌洛莉亚
Oh, buenos dias, Dede...
早上好 迪蒂
B-buenos...
你好啊 美女
Uh, yeah. Uh, Gloria...
好了 歌洛莉亚
Come on.
来吧
That's enough.
可以了
Hi, mom. Hi.
老妈
Oh, Mitchell. Mwah!
米奇尔
Thank you for coming.
谢谢你来出席
Oh! You remember Robbie.
你记得罗比吧
Yes, I do. Yes. Hi.
是啊 记得 记得 你好
Oh! That's Lily!
那是莉莉
Oh! I guess you're trying
我想你们完全没试着
to keep the outfit I sent her clean.
把我送她的衣服保持干净
So, Robbie,
罗比
it looks like the years have been treating you good, huh?
感觉这些年你过得不错啊
- Hey, what's up, Red? - Okay. Um...
-过的怎么样啊 小红帽 -好了
I love this guy. Remember, we used to wrestle around
我喜欢这家伙 记得吗 我们以前经常
all the time?
一起摔跤吗
Yeah. Please stop. Is my baby watching?
行了 快停下 我宝宝在看吗
Good to see you, man.
真高兴见到你 伙计
I need to talk to you for a second.
我要跟你谈几句
Let me just...
让我
...ask you a little something.
问你些事情
What are you doing with my mother?
你跟我妈在一起干什么
Hey, I've got a code.
我有句话
What happens in the limo stays in the limo.
"在加长轿车里发生的事 就留在车里吧"
She's my mother!
她是我妈妈
Look, I know this is all a little freaky,
听着 我知道这一切有点奇怪
but I had a crush on your mother back in high school,
但是在高中时我就爱上你妈妈了
and it's always been kind of a fantasy for me.
而一直以来我都在幻想这事
You were dating me and fantasizing about my mother?
你那时和我约会 还对我妈妈抱有幻想啊
Ohh, boy.
惨了
What?
怎么了
I think we both know what this is really all about.
我想我们都心知肚明你是在生气什么
Uh, no.
You still want me.
你还是想要我的
Oh, my God. Are you insane?
天呐 你是疯了吧
Oh, what's going on here, you two?
你们两个怎么了
Claire still wants me.
克莱尔还想要我
No. Don't.
不 别乱说
Oh...Oh, I should've seen this coming.
我本应预料到这事的
Oh, really.
是吗
One minute she sees I'm happy,
她一看见我高兴
- and she swoops in! - Didn't swoop!
-她就想横刀夺爱 -我没有
I didn't swoop. If anybody swooped, it was you!
我没有 要是真有人想横刀 那也是你
You swooped!
是你横刀夺爱
Claire, hush. Not now! Not now!
克莱尔 别吵 现在别 现在别吵
Not now. No, stop, please.
别吵 别 停下吧 求你了
She accused me of trying to steal my old boyfriend from her.
她指责我试着把我前男友从她那里偷回来
Okay, fine, but make it quick.
好了 好了 那你快点
Why does everything have to be so hard with you?
为什么事情牵扯到你就会很难搞
Why can't you just be a normal old grandma?!
你为什么就不能成为一个正常的老外婆
Why do you... you come in here,
你为什么 为什么来这里
it's some sort of sick game for you
这对你就像是个恶心的游戏
to just push people and push people and push people
就是一直 推 推 推 推 推别人到极限
and see how far you can push them!
看看别人还可以容忍你多久
And so fine... Look at me!
很好 看看我啊
You win! You win!
你赢了 你赢了
I'm screaming at a princess party, mom!
我在公主派对上大吼大叫 老妈
- Claire. Claire... - I'm screaming
-克莱尔 克莱尔 -我在大吼大叫
at a princess party!
在一个公主派对上
Claire, Claire, Claire, Claire.
克莱尔 克莱尔 克莱尔 克莱尔
Robbie?
罗比
I think maybe, you know, you should take off.
我觉得 你懂的 你应该走了
Yeah, yeah, look, I hear you, Phil.
是的是的 我听见了 菲尔
Uh, but between you and me...
不过我偷偷告诉你
I'm getting some serious vibes
我感觉那边的那个公主
from the princess over here,
在对我放电
and I'd kind of like to play that out.
我想留着看看有没有戏
Hey. Time to go.
你该走了
Hey, Mr. P. How you been?
普先生 你好吗
I'm doing good.
我很好
But I never liked you in the basement with my daughter,
我以前就不喜欢你跟我女儿在地下室鬼混
and I don't like you here with my ex.
我也不喜欢你和我前妻在这厮混
You know, your little intimidation game
你懂吗 你那小小的恐吓
may have worked on me when I was a kid,
可能对我小时候有点用
but I'm a full-grown man now...
我现在已经完全长大了...
And I think I should go.
我觉得我是该走了
So much for keeping it all about Lily.
"让莉莉成为派对的主角"这事做得太好了
Well, yeah, and I certainly didn't help
是啊 我承认我控制不住
by berating that perfectly sweet journeyman princess like I did.
就跑去训斥那个很可爱的临时工公主
Oh, God, look at this place.
天呐 看看这里
Everybody's traumatized.
每个人都吓坏了
Oh, we need somebody to
我们需要有人来
pump some life back into this party, huh?
把派对气氛再搞起来 你说是吧
I got this. I'll go in and turn on some music,
我知道了 我去屋里放些音乐
bring out the cupcakes, pump up the bubble machine.
拿出纸杯蛋糕 打开泡泡机器
Or...
或者
Is that a roundabout way of saying
你这是迂回的告诉我
a certain clown can come to the party?
让某个小丑出现在派对上吗
I was wrong.
我之前错了
Every kid wants a clown for a dad.
哪个孩子不想要有个小丑爸爸啊
Oh! You just made a little girl very happy.
你的决定 让一个小女孩开心死了
Yes, well, I can see that.
是啊 我知道
You okay?
你还好吧
I'm fine.
我没事
I will be fine.
我会没事的
'Cause you know Claire gets stressed out.
你知道克莱尔压力太大爆发后 会说气话的
That stuff she said out there...
她在那里说的那些
Was all true.
都是实话
Yeah.
是啊
I don't know what I was thinking with him.
不知道我是怎么想 会和他在一起
I feel like such a fool.
我觉得像个傻子
You got flattered by the attention of a younger guy,
你只是因为一个小伙子的注意有点飘飘然了
and you got a little carried away.
所以你有点太奔放了
- So what? - It's not that.
-那又怎样 -不是那样的
It's... I divorced you,
我和你离婚
because I was looking for something else.
是因为我想追寻不一样的人事物
I haven't found it.
但我到现在都还没找到
But when I come back here,
但当我回来的时候
I feel like I have to prove something.
我觉得我得证明一些事情
Like people are looking at me,
就像人家看着我
saying, "You broke up the family.
说 你破坏了这个家庭
What do you have to show for it?"
你还想表示些什么
You did the right thing.
你做的对的
We were stalled.
我们失控了
I didn't have the guts to end it.
我没胆去结束
That's because you're a decent man.
因为你是个好男人
And that doesn't make it any easier.
那也没让事情更简单些
I just don't want to be thought of as "crazy nana".
我只是不想被认为是个疯狂的姥姥
That's not really who I am.
那不是真的我
I think, more than anything else,
我觉得 更重要的是
my real problem...
我真的问题
is her!
是她
Huh?
什么
No, Dede!
不要 迪蒂 你在干什么
So, maybe it isn't about me?
也许 这也不是因为我
Or me.
或者我
I told you it was about me!
我跟你们说了 是因为我
No! No!
不要 不要
I got Gloria!
我来救歌洛莉亚
I got Gloria!
我来救歌洛莉亚
This is such a precious gift!
这真是个珍贵的礼物
I know. I can't believe my dad sat down and did this.
我知道 真不敢相信我爸爸坐下来做了这个
Keep going.
继续
Jay, pay attention. It's your line!
杰 集中注意力 到你念台词了
I just had a damn line.
我才刚念完一句白痴台词
Manny, freshen this up for me.
曼尼 帮我添酒
No, no more drinks until we finish this.
不行 我们完成之前不能再喝酒
Who cares? Cam's just gonna return it anyway.
管他呢 反正小卡也会婉拒这东西
Cue gasp.
惊呼开始