Excuse me, I'm so sorry.
I never do this for celebrities.
But are you by any chance the foxy mom
on the New Horizon realty ad.
Am I gonna regret doing that?
Did the marlboro man have any regrets?
This ad is perfect.
See, I'm not just selling houses,
I'm selling myself,
and the best part about me is my family.
And both...are on display in this ad.
"I can't be satisfied until you're satisfied"?
Coming soon to a bus bench near you,
not to mention our minivan.
So that's really happening?
Wait. What's happening to our minivan?
Having this bad boy shrink-wrapped on it.
Now all that driving around your mom does will serve a purpose.
Good morning, family.
How are you all doing on this beautiful day?
Okay. What's this?
Haley's S.A.T. scores are available online.
Oh! ! Today's the big day.
Let's take a look, see how she did.
Do we really have to look at them now?
We're not expecting any miracles.
Are those Haley's scores? Are you sure?
Why? Are they bad?
No, they're not bad.
No, they're average.
Sweetie, we did it.
Our baby's average.
This is just a fluke.
She can take them again.
Yeah, and she'll probably do even better.
You are gonna have your choice
of some pretty good colleges when the time comes.
If I go to college.
I've been thinking about it lately,
and I might...not.
Well, we took the scenic route,
but we ended up in the same place.
From Zimbabwe to Algeria
Come on, let me hear ya
These are the countries, these are the countries
Cam recently became Franklin middle school's
interim musical director.
I was volunteering for their spring musical festival
when their regular director
suddenly and mysteriously became ill.
It may have been a blessing.
Their show lacked focus.
I gave it a theme --
"A musical trip around the world."
Yeah, see, he focused it
是的 瞧 他的重点就是
by making it about the world.
You don't like it.
No -- Cam. I do.
不 小卡 我喜欢
Do you -- do you think that the kids, though,
are gonna be able to learn it by tonight?
I mean, maybe you should stick
with something that they already know.
I knew this would happen.
Why do you have to throw a wet blanket on my dreams?
- I do not. - You do it all the time.
And you know what I end up with? Wet dreams.
I heard it as soon as I said it. Just leave it alone.
All right, well, Cam, it's just that sometimes
好的 小卡 只不过有时候
you can be a little, you know, overenthusiastic.
Is it really that big of a deal
that I want this to be the best show in the world?
Well, as long as you heard me.
Be in my corner. Don't be so critical.
We-- is that really how you see me?
Sometimes, yeah, I do, Mitchell.
Cam, well, if -- if that's true, then I'm -- I'm sorry.
小卡 如果这是真的 我很抱歉
No, you know, okay, from now on,
不 好的 从现在开始
I am in your corner 100%.
Yeah, that song is gonna knock everyone out.
Well, I don't know, but
wait till you see the dance I have prepared.
More toast, Manny?
Why won't you call me, Emma?
More toast, Emma?
Do you have to be on all the time?
Okay, I'm sorry. Who is this Emma?
好的 对不起 谁是艾玛
She's in the show with me tonight.
I'm thinking of taking a run at her.
You don't "Take a run" at a woman.
You woo her. You make her feel special.
Hey, hon, take a look at this.
It's a picture of my butt.
And then when you get her,
you can tell her whatever you want.
Why do you do this?
I programmed it so my butt pops up
when my brother donnie calls.
It's a clever way of saying my brother's an ass.
That's him. Compose yourselves.
Forget I showed you this picture.
How you doing, you dumb son of a bitch?
You old mick. Looks like you've put on a few pounds.
What, are you eating your hair?
What are you still doing here?
There's got to be an easier way to get a green card.
are you coming to my school concert tonight?
- Well... - It's an hour, tops.
...wouldn't miss it.
Hey, you know, I think I misplaced my phone.
Could you call me on yours?
My phone's at the bottom of my bag.
Why don't you use your home phone?
Oh, come on. It's simple.
How about you let go, you --
Give me the phone, Donnie!
You still think you can take me?!
What? Is this all you got, huh?
I'm gonna wash your mouth out with fist.
I don't understand this relationship, Emma.
Doing this show, it feels like
we've become like a little family, huh?
You mean like you're my brother?
They're back -- dinosaur arms!
This isn't a good time, Luke.
That is hilarious.
Half boy, half t-rex.
One foot in both worlds,
Wanted by neither.
Luke, that's a great way to stretch out a shirt.
Okay, okay! Break's over, everyone!
好了好了 休息结束了 大家伙儿
Let's take it from the top.
Listen, we're running 20 minutes long,
So we're gonna go ahead and cut the Bollywood number.
Can I go? I'm late for soccer practice.
You know who else missed soccer practice, Delroy?
The cast of "Rent." And now they have a Tony.
Hey, honey. Did they drop the van off yet?
Yeah, a little while ago.
Uh, well, believe it or not,
I have resisted the temptation to look.
This whole Haley thing has got me a little preoccupied.
We're on our way out to lunch right now.
About that, I've been thinking.
College is still a ways away.
I say we leave Haley alone.
The more we push, the more she'll push back.
And I support that.
Only dad can make our minivan even lamer.
Excuse me. What are you doing?
I'm driving this thing to the reservoir.
Just jump when I say jump.
Honey, slide over.
How is this stupid ad supposed to sell houses anyway?
You heard your father.
He's not just selling houses...
What are my friends gonna think?
They are gonna think
that you're helping your father put food on the table.
- Ay, is the chair broken? - Almost.
- 椅子坏了吗 -算是吧
That cheap, freeloading brother of mine
can't keep his hands off my good Scotch,
So, you see, I placed that Scotch there.
My brother sits in this chair, goes out from under him --
Bam! -- Masterpiece.
So you make your brother fall and spill his drink?
Well, I don't want to jinx it, but that's the plan.
Why are you both so mean?
Where I come from, brothers respect each other.
That's why Colombia is such a peaceful utopia.
Do they sell men's clothes where you got that?
That's funny because women are so inferior.
I bought this for Melanie's baptism.
Michael's kid, my granddaughter.
Oh, I forgot to tell Irene I landed safely.
How could you not know
that your own brother had a granddaughter?
How can you forget when he's family?
I have 29 cousins, and I know them all --
Rosa Marina, Gloria Maria,
- Veronica Maria, Jose Vicente - Okay, okay, okay.
-维罗妮卡·玛琳娜 何塞·维森特 -够了够了
You do the chair, you do the fighting,
But you don't know each other.
Look, I may not talk to my brother
the way you talk to your sisters,
But believe me, we're close in our own way.
When was the last time that you saw him?
Well, that's not easy, 'cause he lives up...
See, I want to say Buffalo.
is that there's no downside to more education.
I knew this car ride was a trap.
That right there shows me just how smart you are.
It's the stupid ad.
They're honking on my side, too.
Yes, we're the people in the ad.
Another great thing about college
I'd have that in an apartment.
No, because to have an apartment, you would need a job.
不 你要租公寓 必须得有工作
You want to know what your job is in college?
It's a little bit of class and homework.
And it's a whole lot of new friends.
And the boys think you're cute and you are cute,
And, oh, trust me, that doesn't last forever.
You in the mood to lose?
First time for everything.
Don't worry, moneybags. I'm not here for a loan.
不用着急 有钱哥 我不是来借钱的
All right, you're solids,
which you won't be able to eat in a few years.
Seriously, though, how are things going with you?
I'm beating a fat guy at pool right now.
Donnie, I'm trying to talk to you.
Why? 'cause that's what people do.
Talk about things, like their lives.
Oh, Irene opened her big trap.
It's not like I'm gonna die.
Yeah, they caught it early.
I took the treatment. I'm clear for now.
Come on. It's your shot.
Donnie, are you talking about...
You don't have to whisper. I know I got it.
You just get your prostate checked -- by a doctor,
not some guy you met on the internet.
I can't believe you didn't tell me this.
Because it's not a big deal.
Now, listen. It's just between us.
Irene, how the hell do I know where your glasses are?
And there's frisbee golf,
And -- and you go snow-sledding on cafeteria trays.
Oh, and you all get a dog together.
I don't really know who takes care of the dog during the summer,
but he's there when you get back.
Geez, maybe you should just go back to college.
Oh, honey, do you know what I would give to go back?
It's this moment when your whole life is in front of you,
and it's a magical time.
You don't want to miss that,
Because when it's gone, it's gone.
Come on, Alex. Bus is leaving.
快点 艾丽克斯 车要开了
Dad, your phone's been buzzing like crazy.
I wonder who's --
Do you know what you're looking for?
I think I know which one you're talking about.
Um, if you're interested,
I also have an older model with a lot of character.
I think the carpet matches the drapes.
I haven't checked in a while.
Well, I guess that makes sense if you're planning to flip one.
Listen, um, why don't I call you back?
We'll set up an appointment.
It'll give me a chance to give them both a good scrubbing.
You think all these calls are about the ad?
My friend Nicole just sent me a picture of the van.
I guess I'll be seeing you wednesdays
and every other weekend.
Okay, um, you sound very angry,
which is completely understandable.
I'm just sitting here thinking about college
and how life has passed me by.
Oh, thank god. I'll see you at the show.
Love you. Bye. We got to go.
爱你 拜拜 快走
And as the music swells,
we reveal our letters
spelling "We love the world."
And then the majestic Franklin middle school insignia
will drop into position
if Reuben ever finishes painting it.
It's not the sistine chapel, Reuben.
Your supportive boyfriend dropped by to bring you a snack.
Pear, brie, and jambon. My favorite!
梨子 布里干酪配火腿 我最爱啊
Okay, people, let's take five.
Hey, Manny. How's it going?
Good, great, couldn't be better.
好 很好 好得不能再好了
Yes, we can, uh -- all right.
行 当然 没问题
Okay, you got to talk to Cam.
He's driving us crazy.
Kevin is biting his nails again,
And Reuben hasn't had a bowel movement in a week.
Don't laugh. That's how Elvis died.
All right, um, Manny,
I-I can't get involved.
But, all right, if you have to say something,
但 好吧 要是你想反映情况
just tell Bob Fussy that he's overdoing it
and you want to go back to your old stuff.
Okay, break's over, people!
好了 休息结束 同志们
I want to do the french revolution number again.
Let's bring out the guillotine.
Carefully this time.
We don't want to do the new stuff.
We want to stop rehearsing
and go back to the old way, Bob Fussy.
I-I don't know where this is coming from.
You all feel this way?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
是的 是的 是的 是的
Well, I had no idea.
I had no idea I was surrounded by a bunch of quitters.
This production was a joke
until I introduced these children
to the musical-theater greats --
Years from now, some of these kids
will still be talking about the way I sondheim-ized them.
Ooh, I'm don't think that's a good way of saying -- okay.
You want to do it the old way
with the same tired songs, the same drab choreography,
the same tepid applause from mom and dad?
Is that what you want? Just say the word.
That's what we want. Yes. Yes.
我们就是那样想的 是的 是的
Well, too bad, people!
行了 伙计们 很遗憾
We're doing it my way! From the top!
This is a closed rehearsal. March.
Hi, honey. What are you doing out here?
Oh, just waiting for you 'cause I love you.
Haley, come out this side.
'Cause it's fun. Try it.
Yeah, the doors slide, the seats slide.
What can't the sienna do?
Right? Let's go see a show!
Sweetie, we need to close the door.
Yeah, with the key.
I like to see how far I can get from the car
and still make it work.
Listen, honey, honey.
听着 亲爱的 亲爱的
- Yeah? - Let me ask you something.
Okay, I need you to be really honest with me.
Yeah, you ca-- yes.
Are my best years behind me?
The trick is to keep looking forward.
Yes, yes, for sure.
Hello, and welcome, everyone.
I hope you enjoy the show tonight.
I think you will agree it has a certain flair
that has been lacking from this stage in years past.
So, please, I invite you to sit back, relax,
所以 请容许我邀您坐稳当 放轻松
and enjoy this musical trip around the world!
Growing up in America sure is great,
but I wish I knew more about the world.
I think I've got an idea.
See you later, friend.
Where are you going?
China looks interesting.
I think I'll land here.
Just go with it. Go with it.
Oh. Hey. Come on.
Jay. You're in the theater.
Try your jacket pocket.
Nice. He taped it shut.
Okay, that's enough.
Ay! Stupid! You too!
Don't hit him. He has cancer.
Oh, my god, is Luke stuck up there?
China sure was fun.
and look, there's merry old England.
Has anyone here ever seen a globe?
Oh, joy to salt-swept eyes
Fair England, do I see
Sorry about what I said to Gloria, okay?
Let's go back inside.
- Hit me. - What?
You heard me. Hit me.
I'm not gonna hit you, Donnie.
Yeah, well, that's the whole damn point.
As soon as you heard I was sick,
you treated me different.
Let me tell you, I get enough of that at home.
I feel a little bad for you, okay?
I know we don't say this much, but, uh...
I care for you, you know?
Do you think I don't know that crap?
I have known you cared about me
since we were 8 and 10 years old
and that mook Joey Calieri stole my bike
and you put his head in the ice.
What was that he said again?
Um, "I can't hear no more."
"I can't hear no more!"
Your stage is all over the place.
The kids are exhausted.
You're making all about you.
What, are we animals?
I got great doctors.
The kids call me every day.
Irene even lost 20 pounds due to stress.
You promise me you'll get that liver checked out.
Ah, there's nothing wrong--
Come on, Donna. Suck it up.
拜托 唐 您老就忍着点吧
We're missing my kid's show.
"I can't hear no more!"
That one was my fault,
But Joan of Arc's gonna be just fine.
It's not gonna be much fun doing the show without Emma.
Maybe we should just stop this.
No. No. There is a saying in the theater world that --
别 不行 在戏剧界有句俗话叫
"It's not worth dying for"?
No, it's that "Endings make shows."
And we've got a great ending.
Now get out there and sing your hearts out.
Oh, not you, sweetie. You just mouth the words. Okay.
Uncle Cam, both my legs are tingly.
Okay, we'll cut you down in just a second, Luke, okay?
The show must go on. Have fun with it.
Learning about the world sure was fun.
But I'm glad to have my feet back on the ground again.
Oh, Egypt is a land where the pyramids stand
Which were built by industrious jews
And windmills go around in Holland town
Where they all wear wooden shoes
These are the things we learned today
And there's one last thing we want to say
"We love the word"
Lower the insignia.
No, no, no. No, no.
不 不对 不是 不 不
No. No, no, no. No.
不 不 不 不 不
Phil, where have you been?
Oh, just getting some fresh air.
- Honey. - Got it.
Ready to go? Hey, look up at the moon.
要走了吗 嘿 看看月亮吧
Would you say that's waxing or waning?
Who cares? We can spend all night looking --
"I can't be satisfied"?!
That makes me look like a prostitute.
More of an escort, really.
You're just selling your time.
- Whereas a prostitute just-- - Okay, Phil.
I have been driving around in this all day.
Well, since you're mad already,
why don't you just step over here
and have a look at that?
Oh, God. My baby.
I am not getting back in that car!
Oh, how do you think you're gonna get home, honey?
得了吧 亲爱的 那你怎么回家呢
It doesn't matter! I'll go home with anyone!
That's what it should say on the van.
I can't believe we trusted you
to put this on the car
after the debacle of that last picture.
And that -- who was that?
I think the word you're looking for is "John."
You mean to tell me that
people have actually been calling about this?
There are a lot of creeps out there.
That's disgusting. She's a child.
Well, to be fair, most of them were for you.
Well, it's still sick.
What do you mean, "Most"?
Well, I don't know. There were 30 calls.
You got 20 or 25 of them.
And they...ask for me?
They asked for the hot blonde.
Hmm. Men are pigs.
Did they call me anything else?
So, thanks to all the perverts in town,
I realized I still have a few good years ahead of me.
And if we have one person to thank for that,
Was it as awful as I think?
It must have been really hard for you to be supportive
while I made a fool out of myself.
Luke, do you mind?
We're trying to have a moment here.
I can feel my heartbeat in my eyes.
- In his eyes? - Yes.
Okay. We'll get a janitor.