摩登家庭 第二季 Modern Family Season 2 第19集: The Musical Man

上映日期: 2,010

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: Jason Winer

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹


台词
Excuse me, I'm so sorry.
打扰一下 真是不好意思
I never do this for celebrities.
我从不跟名人打招呼
But are you by any chance the foxy mom
但你是不是新视野不动产广告
on the New Horizon realty ad.
里面那位性感迷人的辣妈呀
Am I gonna regret doing that?
我会后悔做这个吗
Did the marlboro man have any regrets?
拍万宝路广告那个人后悔过吗
This ad is perfect.
这个广告太完美了
See, I'm not just selling houses,
看 我不只是在卖房子
I'm selling myself,
我还在宣传我自己
and the best part about me is my family.
最让我引以为傲的就是我的家庭
And my teeth.
还有我的牙齿
And both...are on display in this ad.
而这些 都将呈现在这则广告上
"I can't be satisfied until you're satisfied"?
"您满意 我满足"
Coming soon to a bus bench near you,
你即将在巴士候车亭看见
not to mention our minivan.
更别说我们的小货车了
So that's really happening?
所以你是来真的咯
Wait. What's happening to our minivan?
等等 我们的小货车怎么了
Having this bad boy shrink-wrapped on it.
要被这个坏家伙贴身黏上
- Classy. - Yep.
-漂亮 -是啊
Now all that driving around your mom does will serve a purpose.
现在就算你妈开车瞎晃 也能干点正事了
Good morning, family.
早上好 亲人们
How are you all doing on this beautiful day?
在这个美好的日子里 你们过得怎么样
Okay. What's this?
很好 这是怎么回事
Haley's S.A.T. scores are available online.
海莉的高考成绩可以在网上查询了
I hate you.
我恨你
Oh! ! Today's the big day.
今天可是个大日子
Let's take a look, see how she did.
我们来看看 她考的怎么样
Do we really have to look at them now?
我们真的要现在就看么
Don't worry.
不用担心
We're not expecting any miracles.
我们不期望会有奇迹发生
Thank you.
谢谢
Are those Haley's scores? Are you sure?
这些是海莉的分数吗 你确定
Why? Are they bad?
为什么 很低么
No, they're not bad.
不 它们不低
Are they good?
那很高吗
No, they're average.
也不 中等水平
Sweetie, we did it.
亲爱的 我们成功了
Our baby's average.
我们的孩子是中等
Medium five!
中等万岁
This is just a fluke.
这只是一个偶然
She can take them again.
她还可以再考一次
Yeah, and she'll probably do even better.
是的 她或许还能考得更好
You are gonna have your choice
到时候你就可以有
of some pretty good colleges when the time comes.
好几个很好的大学可供选择了
If I go to college.
前提是我得去大学
What?
什么
I've been thinking about it lately,
我最近一直在想这个
and I might...not.
我或许 不会去
Later!
待会见
Well, we took the scenic route,
虽然成绩出乎意料的不错
but we ended up in the same place.
但烂泥终究扶不上墙
From Zimbabwe to Algeria
从津巴布韦到阿尔及利亚
Come on, let me hear ya
来吧 让我听到你的声音
These are the countries, these are the countries
就是这些国家了 就是这些国家了
Cam recently became Franklin middle school's
小卡最近成了富兰克林中学的
interim musical director.
临时音乐总监
Go, Franklin!
加油 富兰克林
I was volunteering for their spring musical festival
我自告奋勇为他们的春季音乐会效力
when their regular director
因为他们的常规总监
suddenly and mysteriously became ill.
突然莫名其妙的病了
Oh, sorry.
对不起
It may have been a blessing.
这可能是他们的福分
Their show lacked focus.
他们的演出没什么重点
I gave it a theme --
是我为它制定了一个主题
"A musical trip around the world."
"环球音乐之旅"
Yeah, see, he focused it
是的 瞧 他的重点就是
by making it about the world.
把它跟世界联系起来
You don't like it.
你不喜欢这个
No -- Cam. I do.
不 小卡 我喜欢
Do you -- do you think that the kids, though,
你认为那些孩子们
are gonna be able to learn it by tonight?
今晚就能学会吗
I mean, maybe you should stick
我是说 或许你可以着重于
with something that they already know.
他们之前排练好的节目
I knew this would happen.
我就知道会这样
Why do you have to throw a wet blanket on my dreams?
为什么你总是要浇熄我炙热的梦想呢
- I do not. - You do it all the time.
-我没有 -你一直都这样
And you know what I end up with? Wet dreams.
你知道我是以什么告终的么 梦遗
I heard it as soon as I said it. Just leave it alone.
这词一脱口而出我就后悔了 不要管它
All right, well, Cam, it's just that sometimes
好的 小卡 只不过有时候
you can be a little, you know, overenthusiastic.
你有点小小的过分热情了
Is it really that big of a deal
我想让它变成世界上最好的演出
that I want this to be the best show in the world?
这真有那么大的关系么
Well, as long as you heard me.
该说的我都说了
Be in my corner. Don't be so critical.
站在我这一边 不要这么吹毛求疵
We-- is that really how you see me?
你真的是这么看我的么
Sometimes, yeah, I do, Mitchell.
有时候我确实是这么看你的 米奇尔
Cam, well, if -- if that's true, then I'm -- I'm sorry.
小卡 如果这是真的 我很抱歉
No, you know, okay, from now on,
不 好的 从现在开始
I am in your corner 100%.
我百分百站在你那边
Yeah, that song is gonna knock everyone out.
这首歌一定会艳惊四座
Well, I don't know, but
我不知道 不过
wait till you see the dance I have prepared.
等你看了我准备的舞蹈再说吧
A dance? A dance!
舞蹈 舞蹈
More toast, Manny?
再来一些吐司么 曼尼
Why won't you call me, Emma?
你为什么不给我打电话呢 艾玛
More toast, Emma?
再来一些吐司么 艾玛
Do you have to be on all the time?
你有必要什么时候都来掺一脚么
Okay, I'm sorry. Who is this Emma?
好的 对不起 谁是艾玛
She's in the show with me tonight.
她是我今晚表演的同伴
I'm thinking of taking a run at her.
我正在考虑追她
You don't "Take a run" at a woman.
你不该"追"女生
You woo her. You make her feel special.
你得取悦她 让她觉得她是特别的
Hey, hon, take a look at this.
亲爱的 看看这个
It's a picture of my butt.
这是我屁屁的照片
And then when you get her,
你把她拿下之后
you can tell her whatever you want.
你就可以随心所欲了
Why do you do this?
你为什么要这么做
I programmed it so my butt pops up
只要我哥哥唐尼一打电话来
when my brother donnie calls.
我的屁屁就会跳出来
It's a clever way of saying my brother's an ass.
借用屁屁来鄙视我哥 只用聪明人才会的招数呀
Is it?
是吗
That's him. Compose yourselves.
他来了 淡定淡定
Forget I showed you this picture.
忘了我给你们看过这张照片
I'm trying.
我尽力
How you doing, you dumb son of a bitch?
你过得咋样 婊子养的傻儿子
You old mick. Looks like you've put on a few pounds.
你个老不死的 看起来你又胖了几磅
Oh, you too.
彼此彼此
What, are you eating your hair?
你是不是连你头发都给吃了
Oh, Gloria. Oh.
歌洛莉亚
What are you still doing here?
你怎么还在这儿
There's got to be an easier way to get a green card.
拿绿卡的办法多了 肯定还有更容易的
Hey, uncle Donnie,
唐尼伯伯
are you coming to my school concert tonight?
你今晚会来我的校园音乐会么
- Well... - It's an hour, tops.
-这个嘛 -最多就一个小时
...wouldn't miss it.
我肯定去
Hey, you know, I think I misplaced my phone.
我找不到我的电话了
Could you call me on yours?
你能用你的手机打我的吗
My phone's at the bottom of my bag.
我手机在包的最底下
Why don't you use your home phone?
为什么不用你家里的电话打呢
Oh, come on. It's simple.
得了吧 这很简单
What are you doing?
你要干嘛
I want the phone.
我要电话
How about you let go, you --
你放手怎么样
Give me the phone, Donnie!
把电话给我 唐尼
You still think you can take me?!
你还以为你能放倒我么
What? Is this all you got, huh?
怎么了 你就这种水平吗
I'm gonna wash your mouth out with fist.
我要你的嘴尝尝老子拳头的滋味
I don't understand this relationship, Emma.
我真不明白这种兄弟情 艾玛
Hey, Emma.
艾玛
Doing this show, it feels like
做这场表演 就像是
we've become like a little family, huh?
我们成为了一个小家庭 是吧
You mean like you're my brother?
你是说你就像是我兄弟一样么
No. N-no, I don't.
不不 不是
Oh, no!
They're back -- dinosaur arms!
他们回来了 恐龙武器
This isn't a good time, Luke.
现在可不是个好时候 卢克
That is hilarious.
这可真是搞笑
Half boy, half t-rex.
半人半恐龙
One foot in both worlds,
身处人兽两界之间
Wanted by neither.
而为两界所不容
Luke, that's a great way to stretch out a shirt.
卢克 你把衣服撑大的方法真不错
Okay, okay! Break's over, everyone!
好了好了 休息结束了 大家伙儿
Let's take it from the top.
让我们从头再来一遍
Listen, we're running 20 minutes long,
听着 因为演出时间是20分钟
So we're gonna go ahead and cut the Bollywood number.
所以我们要去掉宝莱坞部分继续演
Can I go? I'm late for soccer practice.
我能离开了吗 我足球练习迟到了
You know who else missed soccer practice, Delroy?
你知道还有谁错过了足球练习吗 德尔罗伊
The cast of "Rent." And now they have a Tony.
《吉屋出租》的演员们 而他们赢得了东尼奖
东尼奖是美国百老汇舞台剧界最高荣誉奖
We have a Tony.
我们也有一位东尼
You are so funny.
你太搞笑了
Seriously?
不会吧
Hello?
Hey, honey. Did they drop the van off yet?
甜心 他们把车开来了吗
Yeah, a little while ago.
刚刚开来
How's it look?
看起来怎么样
Uh, well, believe it or not,
信不信由你
I have resisted the temptation to look.
我忍住了不去看
This whole Haley thing has got me a little preoccupied.
海莉的事情搞得我有点头大
We're on our way out to lunch right now.
我们正要去吃饭
About that, I've been thinking.
关于那个我有个看法
College is still a ways away.
大学还早着呢
I say we leave Haley alone.
我觉得应该让海莉自己考虑
The more we push, the more she'll push back.
我们越是给她压力 她越是反抗
I'm gonna push.
我就是要给她压力
And I support that.
我坚决支持
Only dad can make our minivan even lamer.
也只有老爹能把我们的车搞得更丑
Excuse me. What are you doing?
不好意思 你在搞啥
I'm driving this thing to the reservoir.
我要把这车开到水库里面去
Just jump when I say jump.
我叫你跳车 你就跳
Honey, slide over.
亲爱的 坐过去
How is this stupid ad supposed to sell houses anyway?
靠这种蹩脚广告怎么能卖出房子
You heard your father.
你也听你爸说过
He's not just selling houses...
他不只是在卖房子
He's selling us.
他是在宣传我们
What are my friends gonna think?
我的朋友会怎么想
They are gonna think
他们会想
that you're helping your father put food on the table.
你在帮你老爸捞钱
- Ay, is the chair broken? - Almost.
- 椅子坏了吗 -算是吧
That cheap, freeloading brother of mine
我那个贪便宜吃白食的哥哥
can't keep his hands off my good Scotch,
老是对我的上好苏格兰威士忌恋恋不忘
So, you see, I placed that Scotch there.
你看 我把威士忌放那里
My brother sits in this chair, goes out from under him --
只要我哥哥一屁股坐上面 椅子就会立马散架
Bam! -- Masterpiece.
啪嗒 杰作呀
So you make your brother fall and spill his drink?
你就让你兄弟摔倒 把酒洒了吗
Well, I don't want to jinx it, but that's the plan.
我也不想让酒跟着遭殃 但计划就是这样
Why are you both so mean?
你们俩怎么都那么小气
Where I come from, brothers respect each other.
我长大的地方 兄弟互相尊敬
That's why Colombia is such a peaceful utopia.
所以说哥伦比亚才是"世外桃源"
Hello, ladies.
两位小姐 你们好
Hey, nice shirt.
嘿 衣服不错
Do they sell men's clothes where you got that?
你去买衣服的地方有卖男人衣服吗
That's funny because women are so inferior.
有意思 因为妇女一向地位低下
You got no taste.
你真没品位
I bought this for Melanie's baptism.
我专门为了梅莱尼的洗礼买的
Who's Melanie?
梅莱尼是谁
Michael's kid, my granddaughter.
迈克的孩子 我的孙女
Oh, I forgot to tell Irene I landed safely.
哦 忘了跟艾琳说我平安抵达了
Hello?
How could you not know
你怎么能不知道
that your own brother had a granddaughter?
你自己的兄弟有孙女了
I probably knew.
我好像知道
How can you forget when he's family?
你怎么能连家人的事情都不记得了
I have 29 cousins, and I know them all --
我有29个堂兄弟姐妹 我能一一道来
Rosa Marina, Gloria Maria,
罗莎·玛琳娜 歌洛莉亚·玛琳娜
- Veronica Maria, Jose Vicente - Okay, okay, okay.
-维罗妮卡·玛琳娜 何塞·维森特 -够了够了
What's your point?
你想说什么
You do the chair, you do the fighting,
你破坏椅子 你跟他打架
But you don't know each other.
但是你们就是不了解对方
It's sad.
悲剧啊
Look, I may not talk to my brother
听着 虽然我跟我哥哥的交流方式
the way you talk to your sisters,
与你和你的姐妹的不一样
But believe me, we're close in our own way.
但是相信我 我们有我们的友爱方式
When was the last time that you saw him?
你上次见他是什么时候
Well, that's not easy, 'cause he lives up...
我们见面没那么容易 因为他住在
See, I want to say Buffalo.
看吧 我想说水牛城来着
All I'm saying
我想说的是
is that there's no downside to more education.
多接受点教育没什么不好的
I knew this car ride was a trap.
我早就知道你开车带我出来另有所图
See that?
看见没有
That right there shows me just how smart you are.
从这句话我就知道你有多聪明
Really? Again?
没搞错吧 又来了
What is going on?
怎么回事
It's the stupid ad.
就是那个蹩脚广告
They're honking on my side, too.
那些人也跑到我这边按喇叭
Yes, we're the people in the ad.
没错 广告上就是我们
Yeah. Hi.
你们好
Another great thing about college
大学还有另外一大好处
complete independence.
完全的自由
I'd have that in an apartment.
我外面住公寓一样自由
No, because to have an apartment, you would need a job.
不 你要租公寓 必须得有工作
You want to know what your job is in college?
知道在学校你的工作是什么吗
It's a little bit of class and homework.
上上课啦 做做作业啦
And it's a whole lot of new friends.
交许许多多的朋友啊
And experiences.
各种各样的体验呀
And the boys think you're cute and you are cute,
男孩觉得你可爱 而你确实处于可爱的青春年少
And, oh, trust me, that doesn't last forever.
相信我 青春转瞬即逝
Call the number!
打电话就是了
All right!
好极了
You in the mood to lose?
准备好输球了吗
First time for everything.
你哥我还没输过球呢
You break.
你开球
So, how's work?
工作怎么样
Don't worry, moneybags. I'm not here for a loan.
不用着急 有钱哥 我不是来借钱的
Nice break.
开得好
All right, you're solids,
好啦 全色球归你
which you won't be able to eat in a few years.
不过估计你得半天才能动杆子了
Right, right.
好好
Seriously, though, how are things going with you?
说真的 你最近过得如何
Swell.
好得很
I'm beating a fat guy at pool right now.
我现在就在台球桌上教训一个胖子
Donnie, I'm trying to talk to you.
唐尼 我试图和你交谈呢
Why?
为什么
Why? 'cause that's what people do.
为什么 因为普通人都这样做吧
Talk about things, like their lives.
谈天说地 比如说他们的生活
Oh, Irene opened her big trap.
艾琳原来是下我套来着
Look, I'm fine.
听着 我很好
It's not like I'm gonna die.
我又不是要死掉了
What?
什么
Yeah, they caught it early.
医生发现得早
I took the treatment. I'm clear for now.
化疗过后 现在好了
Come on. It's your shot.
快点 该你了
Caught what early?
诊断出啥了
Donnie, are you talking about...
唐尼 你是不是说
cancer?
癌症
You don't have to whisper. I know I got it.
没什么好避讳的 我知道我得癌症了
You just get your prostate checked -- by a doctor,
我的前列腺检查是医生做的
not some guy you met on the internet.
又不是在网上认识的人
I can't believe you didn't tell me this.
我不敢相信你居然瞒着我
Because it's not a big deal.
这又没什么大不了的
Now, listen. It's just between us.
听着 这件事就咋俩知道
Oh, god.
天啊
Irene, how the hell do I know where your glasses are?
艾琳 我怎么知道你的破眼镜在哪
And there's frisbee golf,
还有飞盘高尔夫啦
And -- and you go snow-sledding on cafeteria trays.
你还可以用自助餐厅的大盘子当雪橇滑雪
Oh, and you all get a dog together.
你和室友还可以一起养条狗
I don't really know who takes care of the dog during the summer,
我不知道暑假的时候是谁照顾它的
but he's there when you get back.
反正你回去的时候它肯定在
Geez, maybe you should just go back to college.
有完没完 或许你应该回去念大学
Oh, honey, do you know what I would give to go back?
亲爱的 如果时光能倒流我真的什么都愿意
It's this moment when your whole life is in front of you,
那一刻你所有的生活都在你跟前 由你随心所欲
and it's a magical time.
太神奇了
You don't want to miss that,
你绝对不会想错过的
Because when it's gone, it's gone.
因为光阴一去不复返
Yeah, yeah.
别烦 别烦
Come on, Alex. Bus is leaving.
快点 艾丽克斯 车要开了
Dad, your phone's been buzzing like crazy.
老爸 你手机震个不停
Sweet lorna doone!
我滴个乖乖
19 missed calls?
十九个未接来电
I wonder who's --
到底是谁...
Phil Dunphy.
菲尔·邓菲
You saw the ad?
你看过那个广告啊
Great.
太好了
Do you know what you're looking for?
你想找什么样的
The little one?
小的那个吗
I think I know which one you're talking about.
我明白你说的是哪个
Um, if you're interested,
要是你感兴趣的话
I also have an older model with a lot of character.
我有个品质尚佳的老款
What?
什么
I think the carpet matches the drapes.
我觉得地毯和窗帘很配啊
I haven't checked in a while.
我有段时间没看过了
Both of them?
两个都想要啊
Wow.
天啊
Well, I guess that makes sense if you're planning to flip one.
要是你打算要一个的话 我还能理解
Listen, um, why don't I call you back?
这样吧 我等会回你好吧
We'll set up an appointment.
我们约个时间
It'll give me a chance to give them both a good scrubbing.
我会抓紧时间把它们都清洗干净
All right.
Thanks a lot.
非常感谢
Bye-bye.
再见
How about that, huh?
不错吧
You think all these calls are about the ad?
你看这些电话都是问那个广告的
Yeah.
是啊
My friend Nicole just sent me a picture of the van.
我朋友妮可刚把咱们家小货车的照片发给我
I guess I'll be seeing you wednesdays
我觉得你老妈要
and every other weekend.
气得跟我离婚了
Hello?
你好
Okay, um, you sound very angry,
这样的 听上去你很生气
which is completely understandable.
这我完全理解
I'm not angry.
我没生气
I'm just sitting here thinking about college
我只是坐在这里 回想我的大学生涯
and how life has passed me by.
回忆曾经的青春年少
Oh, thank god. I'll see you at the show.
谢天谢地 我们表演会上见
Love you. Bye. We got to go.
爱你 拜拜 快走
And as the music swells,
音乐到达高潮的时候
we reveal our letters
我们举起手里的字母
spelling "We love the world."
拼成"我们爱世界"
Powerful stuff.
很好很强大
And then the majestic Franklin middle school insignia
然后宏伟的富兰克林中学的标志
will drop into position
就会缓缓就位
if Reuben ever finishes painting it.
不过前提是鲁本能把标志画完
It's not the sistine chapel, Reuben.
这不是艺术殿堂 鲁本
Surprise! Hey!
惊喜吧
Your supportive boyfriend dropped by to bring you a snack.
鼎力支持的男友顺路带点心给你吃啦
P.B. And J.
梨梨 小布里和肉肉
Pear, brie, and jambon. My favorite!
梨子 布里干酪配火腿 我最爱啊
Okay, people, let's take five.
同志们 休息五分钟
A true five.
就五分钟哦
Hey, Manny. How's it going?
曼尼 怎么样啊
Good, great, couldn't be better.
好 很好 好得不能再好了
Can we, uh...
我们能不能...
Yes, we can, uh -- all right.
行 当然 没问题
What's up?
怎么了
Okay, you got to talk to Cam.
听着 你需要跟小卡谈谈
He's driving us crazy.
他要把我们逼疯了
Kevin is biting his nails again,
凯文又开始咬指甲了
And Reuben hasn't had a bowel movement in a week.
鲁本一周都没有拉便便了
Don't laugh. That's how Elvis died.
别笑 猫王就是被逼死的
All right, um, Manny,
好吧 曼尼
I-I can't get involved.
我...我不能参与进去的
But, all right, if you have to say something,
但 好吧 要是你想反映情况
just tell Bob Fussy that he's overdoing it
就去告诉犀利哥 说他做过头了
and you want to go back to your old stuff.
告诉他你们想回到原来那样
Okay, break's over, people!
好了 休息结束 同志们
I want to do the french revolution number again.
我们再来次法国大革命那一段
Let's bring out the guillotine.
我们把断头台拿上来
Carefully this time.
这次用点心了
No, no, no.
不要 不要 不要了
Excuse me?
什么
We don't want to do the new stuff.
我们不想做这个新玩意
We want to stop rehearsing
我们不想继续排练
and go back to the old way, Bob Fussy.
想用原来的方式演绎 犀利哥
I-I don't know where this is coming from.
我 我不知道那词哪来的
You all feel this way?
你们都这么认为吗
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
是的 是的 是的 是的
Well, I had no idea.
行了 我不知道
I had no idea I was surrounded by a bunch of quitters.
我不知道我周围是一群懒人
This production was a joke
要不是我把音乐剧大师
until I introduced these children
伯恩斯坦和桑坦介绍给孩子们
to the musical-theater greats --
这个破音乐剧
Bernstein, Sondheim.
还只是个大笑柄
Years from now, some of these kids
几年后 有个别孩子就会谈论
will still be talking about the way I sondheim-ized them.
当初我如何将他们桑坦化的
Ooh, I'm don't think that's a good way of saying -- okay.
我觉得那样说不太好...好吧
You want to do it the old way
你想用原来的方式吗
with the same tired songs, the same drab choreography,
用这首没新意老歌和死气沉沉的编舞
the same tepid applause from mom and dad?
然后得到父母敷衍的欢呼吗
Is that what you want? Just say the word.
你们真的想吗 回答我
That's what we want. Yes. Yes.
我们就是那样想的 是的 是的
Well, too bad, people!
行了 伙计们 很遗憾
We're doing it my way! From the top!
我说了算 重来
This is a closed rehearsal. March.
这是封闭式彩排 闪开
Hi, honey. What are you doing out here?
亲爱的 你在外面干什么
Oh, just waiting for you 'cause I love you.
等你啊 因为我爱你
Haley, come out this side.
海莉 从这边下来
Why?
为什么
'Cause it's fun. Try it.
因为很好玩啊 试试
Yeah, the doors slide, the seats slide.
滑动门 移动坐垫
What can't the sienna do?
这车无所不能啊
That was fun.
真搞笑
Right? Let's go see a show!
是吗 去看表演吧
Sweetie, we need to close the door.
亲爱的 我们应该把门关上
Yeah, with the key.
是的 用钥匙就行
I like to see how far I can get from the car
我想看看走多远
and still make it work.
还能控制这车
Listen, honey, honey.
听着 亲爱的 亲爱的
- Yeah? - Let me ask you something.
-怎么 -我要问你些事
Okay, I need you to be really honest with me.
你要实话实说
Yeah, you ca-- yes.
行啊 你可...行
Are my best years behind me?
我是不是人老珠黄了
What?
说什么啊
No.
当然不是
The trick is to keep looking forward.
秘诀就是向前看
Here we go.
走吧
Really?
真的吗
Yes, yes, for sure.
是的是的 千真万确
You feel good?
好些没
Yeah, I...
是啊 我...
Hello, and welcome, everyone.
大家好 欢迎各位
And latecomers.
以及迟到的人们
I hope you enjoy the show tonight.
希望大家能喜欢今晚的表演
I think you will agree it has a certain flair
你们一定赞同这个舞台已经多年
that has been lacking from this stage in years past.
没有高水准高质量的表演了吧
So, please, I invite you to sit back, relax,
所以 请容许我邀您坐稳当 放轻松
and enjoy this musical trip around the world!
尽情享受这趟世界音乐旅程吧
Wow.
天呐
Growing up in America sure is great,
在美国长大是很不错
but I wish I knew more about the world.
但我还想对世界了解的更多
Me too.
我也是
I think I've got an idea.
我有个主意
See you later, friend.
待会见 朋友
Where are you going?
你去哪里
To see the world!
去见见世界
China looks interesting.
中国看上去很有趣
I think I'll land here.
我就在这里着陆吧
Bring him down!
放他下来
Bring him down!
放他下来
Just go with it. Go with it.
继续 继续演
Oh. Hey. Come on.
天啊 搞什么啊
Geez, come on,
天啊 搞什么呀
Jay. You're in the theater.
杰 你在剧院里呢
Try your jacket pocket.
看看你夹克的口袋
Sorry, folks.
不好意思伙计们
Nice. He taped it shut.
厉害 他用胶带把手机封死了
Okay, that's enough.
行了 别闹了
Ay! Stupid! You too!
傻子啊 你也是
Don't hit him. He has cancer.
别打他 他得癌症了
What --
什么
Oh, my god, is Luke stuck up there?
天啊 卢克是被卡在那儿了吗
Phil?
菲尔
Come on.
拜托
Yeah.
没错儿
Ye-- oh, no.
对-- 别 哦不
Come on!
拜托
China sure was fun.
中国是挺有意思的
and look, there's merry old England.
不过看啊 那儿还有快乐的老英格兰
Has anyone here ever seen a globe?
难道看表演的人都没见过地球仪吗
Full steam ahead!
全速前进
Ahead!
是前进
Just sing.
别管那个了 你就唱吧
Oh, joy to salt-swept eyes
哦 睁开被海风吹拂的眼睛
Fair England, do I see
我欣喜地看见了 那美丽的英格兰
Sorry about what I said to Gloria, okay?
抱歉我告诉了歌洛莉亚
Just came out.
就是一时脱口而出了
Let's go back inside.
咱们进去吧
- Hit me. - What?
-打我一下 -什么
You heard me. Hit me.
你听见我说的了 打我一下
I'm not gonna hit you, Donnie.
我不会打你的 唐尼
Yeah, well, that's the whole damn point.
没错 这就是重点
As soon as you heard I was sick,
你一听说我病了
you treated me different.
你对待我的方式就不一样了
Let me tell you, I get enough of that at home.
我告诉你吧 那些我在家就受够了
I'm sorry.
对不起
I feel a little bad for you, okay?
我就是有点儿替你难过 行吗
I know we don't say this much, but, uh...
我知道我们不常说这些 可是...
I care for you, you know?
我是关心你的 你知道吗
Do you think I don't know that crap?
你以为我不知道这点屁事儿吗
I have known you cared about me
自从我八岁你十岁那年
since we were 8 and 10 years old
那个蠢货乔伊·可列里偷了我的自行车
and that mook Joey Calieri stole my bike
你把他的头埋进冰里之后
and you put his head in the ice.
我就知道你是关心我的
What was that he said again?
他当时说什么来着
Um, "I can't hear no more."
"我再也听不见了"
"I can't hear no more!"
"我再也听不见了"
oh, Don.
Your stage is all over the place.
你的舞台装饰被弄得到处都是
The kids are exhausted.
孩子们都累疯了
You're making all about you.
你就在那儿照自己的意思演
No intermission.
连幕间休息都没有
What, are we animals?
你把我们当动物了是吗
I --
我...
I'm gonna be fine.
我会好的
I got great doctors.
我有很好的医生
The kids call me every day.
孩子们每天都给我打电话
Irene even lost 20 pounds due to stress.
艾琳因为压力过大 还瘦了20磅呢
Good for you.
真不错
You promise me you'll get that liver checked out.
你答应我你会好好做个肝区检查
Ah, there's nothing wrong--
哎呀 根本没--
Come on, Donna. Suck it up.
拜托 唐 您老就忍着点吧
We're missing my kid's show.
我们都错过我儿子的演出了
You son of a bitch.
你这混蛋
Come on. Come on.
来吧来吧
"I can't hear no more!"
"我再也听不见啦"
Okay, all right.
好了好了
That one was my fault,
刚才那个是我的错
But Joan of Arc's gonna be just fine.
不过圣女贞德会没事儿的
It's not gonna be much fun doing the show without Emma.
这剧没了艾玛就没意思了
Maybe we should just stop this.
也许我们应该到此为止
No. No. There is a saying in the theater world that --
别 不行 在戏剧界有句俗话叫
"It's not worth dying for"?
"为它丧命实属不智"吗
No, it's that "Endings make shows."
不 是"结尾成就一切"
And we've got a great ending.
再说我们那个结尾那么好
Now get out there and sing your hearts out.
所以现在赶紧出去给我充满感情地唱
Oh, not you, sweetie. You just mouth the words. Okay.
亲爱的你就别唱了 你对口型就行了
Uncle Cam, both my legs are tingly.
小卡叔叔 我两条腿都疼了
Okay, we'll cut you down in just a second, Luke, okay?
卢克 我们马上就把你放下来行吗
The show must go on. Have fun with it.
演出得继续 要乐在其中哦
Learning about the world sure was fun.
了解这个世界的确很有趣
But I'm glad to have my feet back on the ground again.
但是能够重新两脚着地 我也挺高兴的
Oh, Egypt is a land where the pyramids stand
埃及土地 金字塔耸立
Which were built by industrious jews
勤劳的犹太人 把它们全部建起
And windmills go around in Holland town
风车们在荷兰的村庄 随处可见
Where they all wear wooden shoes
那里的人们 都穿着木头做的鞋
These are the things we learned today
我们学了很多东西 在今天这一天
And there's one last thing we want to say
千言万语 只剩一句
"We love the word"
"我们爱这个词"
Where's the "L"?
怎么少一个字母
That's luke.
应该是卢克拿着
Lower the insignia.
把那个标志牌放低点儿
Lower it.
低点儿
"我们爱操蛋这个词"
"We love the --"
我们爱...
What the hell?
搞什么啊
No, no, no. No, no.
不 不对 不是 不 不
No, no, no.
不 不 不
No. No, no, no. No.
不 不 不 不 不
Brava!
太精彩了
Phil, where have you been?
菲尔 你去哪儿了
Oh, just getting some fresh air.
就是呼吸点儿新鲜空气
- Honey. - Got it.
-亲爱的 -呼吸完了
Ready to go? Hey, look up at the moon.
要走了吗 嘿 看看月亮吧
Would you say that's waxing or waning?
你说这是满月呢 还是弦月呢
Who cares? We can spend all night looking --
管他呢 我们能花一晚上看
"I can't be satisfied"?!
"我不能被满足"
My God, Phil.
我的天啊 菲尔
That makes me look like a prostitute.
这话让我看起来跟个妓女一样
No.
没有
Yes. Yes, it does.
有 就有
More of an escort, really.
其实更像个三陪
You're just selling your time.
三陪的只是出卖时间而已
- Whereas a prostitute just-- - Okay, Phil.
-但是妓女是-- -行了菲尔
I have been driving around in this all day.
我今天一整天都开着这车跑来跑去
Well, since you're mad already,
好吧 既然你已经生气了
why don't you just step over here
为什么你不到这边来
and have a look at that?
看看这个呢
Oh, God. My baby.
上帝啊 我的宝贝女儿
I am not getting back in that car!
我绝不再坐那辆车
Oh, how do you think you're gonna get home, honey?
得了吧 亲爱的 那你怎么回家呢
It doesn't matter! I'll go home with anyone!
无所谓 我随便跟谁回家都行
That's what it should say on the van.
这话才应该写在车上呢
Alex.
艾丽克斯
I can't believe we trusted you
真不敢相信
to put this on the car
经过上次失败的照片教训
after the debacle of that last picture.
我们还敢让你把照片贴车上
Damn it.
妈的
And that -- who was that?
而你-- 是谁
Probably another...
可能是另一个...
I think the word you're looking for is "John."
我觉得你想说的可能是"路人甲"
Get in the minivan.
上车
You mean to tell me that
你是想告诉我说
people have actually been calling about this?
的确有人打电话来要特殊服务是吗
There are a lot of creeps out there.
变态多得是
That's disgusting. She's a child.
那也太恶心了 她还是个孩子
Well, to be fair, most of them were for you.
公平点儿说 大部分是打来要你服务的
Well, it's still sick.
那也很恶心好吗
What do you mean, "Most"?
你说"大部分" 是多少
Well, I don't know. There were 30 calls.
我不知道 差不多有三十通电话
You got 20 or 25 of them.
二十多个都是找你的
And they...ask for me?
那他们...点名找我吗
They asked for the hot blonde.
他们要那个金发辣妹
Hmm. Men are pigs.
男人都是色情狂
Did they call me anything else?
除了金发辣妹 他们还叫我什么了
So, thanks to all the perverts in town,
所以 谢谢城里的所有变态
I realized I still have a few good years ahead of me.
我发现我的青春年华还剩好几年呢
And if we have one person to thank for that,
如果我们为此要感谢谁的话
It would be me.
那肯定是我了
No.
少来
Was it as awful as I think?
演出和我想的一样烂吗
Take the flowers.
收下这花儿吧
It must have been really hard for you to be supportive
让你在我像个傻子一样出尽洋相的时候
while I made a fool out of myself.
还那么支持我一定很难
Oh, come here.
来抱抱吧
Luke, do you mind?
卢克 你能不能安静点儿
We're trying to have a moment here.
我们正浓情蜜意呢
I can feel my heartbeat in my eyes.
我的眼睛都能感觉到心跳了
- In his eyes? - Yes.
-他的眼睛 -没错
Okay. We'll get a janitor.
我们去找工人
Okay.