Say yes. It's french press.
I was doubtful, too,
but I honestly can't see myself going back to drip.
I'm so happy you don't live in a tough neighborhood anymore.
We're so sorry for just dropping by like this.
Are you kidding me?
I'll take any chance to spend time with this little princess.
I love her little hair, her little toes.
and she loves her grandmother.
I don't love "Grandmother."
So, Cam and I have been revising our will
to specify who should take care of Lily
if, god forbid, something happened to us.
I said "God for--"
So, we've been dropping by unannounced
to, you know, casually assess our candidates.
Not all of our candidates.
No, t-that's true. We did not drop by Missour-ah.
No one from Missouri would say "Missour-ah."
So, anyway, Claire and Phil were our first thought,
so we dropped by their place last week.
You win the award for worst mother ever!
I will be sure to thank you in my speech!
Phil, the frying pan's on fire!
Son of Jor-el! Everybody stay calm!
Dad, I'm gonna teach myself how to juggle.
Good for you, buddy.
Mom! No one heard me screaming?!
I've been trapped in the garage for like 20 minutes!
And yet still you didn't get the rat traps I sent you for.
- Oh! - Thank you.
Honey, it's doing it again!
Come on, now! Every morning?!
I hope the whole house burns down!
Did we come at a bad time?
Come back in seven years and five months,
when they're all gone!
So, mama, you're good for coal?!
Well, you bundle up!
We don't want to lose you!
They're in the middle of a terrible blizzard.
Did they really lose two cows?
Oh, yeah, frozen solid. Mama's gonna send pictures.
对啊 冻得硬梆梆 妈妈会把照片寄过来
Oh, yay, a reason to stop by the frame store.
Manny, I got to get you down to that sporting-goods place.
- Got to get him some stuff for his weekend outing. - Ready!
- Did you pee? Not ready.
- Jay, would you mind if we came? - Sure, why not?
-不介意我们跟来吧 杰 -怎么会呢
You know, I'd like to get mama some snowshoes --
You know, to lift her spirits,
what with all the frozen cows and all.
So, cows freeze now? Are we all just accepting that?
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Jay, this one time --
当然了 杰 就次...
We'll take two cars.
If you want, I can stay with the little princess.
Oh, that-- that's a great idea.
Oh, yeah, I'll just -- I'll just go out and get her bag.
Maybe I can take her to the mall,
buy her a new outfit,
get her some hair rings -- is that okay?
Yes, yes, of course.
Um, you know, Gloria, Cam and I were talking
其实呢 歌洛莉亚 我跟小卡一直商量
about what would happen to Lily
if anything were ever to happen to us,
- and we were thinking - Oh, my god. Is it? I take her!
-我们打算 -真的吗 让我来照顾她
Okay, well, that's very sweet,
but you realize it would only happen --
Okay, well, hopefully, it's a long shot.
There would have to be a very tragic accident.
Nothing is going to happen.
But if it did, we would be so happy!
So, what do you say, pal? I got to swing by the office.
怎么样 伙计 我要开车去上班
You want to come along?
Can't. We got some stuff to do.
- What? - Just errands.
I'm taking Luke to see a child psychologist.
This is something that Phil would never agree to.
He's doesn't want luke to feel...different.
But Luke's grades aren't great,
and he's having trouble concentrating in school.
I just want to make sure that he's...normal.
- Hey, mom, check it out. - What are you doing?
If I move my head fast enough,
It looks like the can is standing still.
'cause sometimes I wonder.
But all the girls at work love it
when I bring luke by,
especially that receptionist Heather, right, buddy?
She smells amazing.
Mm. Well, honey, you're gonna have to
smell daddy's receptionist some other time.
If you're both going out, who's taking me to cello?
- One time, she gave me a woody. - Sweet je--
-有次 她送我一个胡迪 -亲爱的
She remembered he's my favorite character from "Toy story."
Uh...Haley, how are you getting to the mall?
Uh, Gabby's picking me up.
Okay, you're gonna drop
your sister off at her cello lesson first.
No way. She plays lacrosse and takes cello lessons.
Even my reputation can't handle that dork hit.
Okay, well, then you don't need
to go snowboarding with your friends on break.
Fine, I'll take her.
Just never look my friends in the eye,
and only speak in emergencies.
- Got it. - Ah! Already failed.
Honey, after I go by the office,
- maybe we can grab some lunch. - Oh, I can't.
I got to pick up all that stuff for the school trip.
But you know what? I'll see you tonight at dad and Gloria's.
- Okay. - Smell Heather for me.
I always do...not.
Hi, Dr. Klausner.
I am so sorry we're late.
We just got a little bit caught up in --
Oh, no, it's okay. It's okay.
It gave me a chance to chat with your husband.
So, Luke, come on in with me.
Mom and dad, we'll let you know when we need you.
- How did you -- - How did I what?
Know you were someplace you left no trace of
except for a tiny notation in your calendar?
It was quite simple, really.
I noticed a tiny nota--
That's weird. My cello teacher's car isn't here.
I wonder if she's not home.
Okay, so go knock on the door, Alan Einstein.
- Don't leave. And it's "Albert."- I know.
- 不许走 还有是"阿尔伯特" -我知道
Alan's his dorky brother who played the cello.
I should probably not be telling you this.
- What? - Nothing. It's really bad.
-什么 -没什么 很糟的事情
When you and Dylan were broken up,
Rachel told him you were a skank
and got all up on him.
No! But she's so nice to me.
To your face. That's how she plays.
Well, now she's gonna see how we play.
What are we gonna do?
She's not there. You're just gonna have to take me home.
We don't have time. We have stuff to do.
Then I'm just gonna have to come with you.
Can't we just drop her off
at a coffee shop or something?
What, so she gets kidnapped
and I get in trouble?
Okay, fine, you can come with us,
But you have to keep your mouth shut about anything you see.
- What's she gonna see? - Just drive!
Ooh, maybe I should also get a gift for my aunt Pat.
Have I ever told you about her?
Total gun nut, lives completely off the grid.
Did you see how cute Gloria was with Lily?
Oh, Pat is hilarious.
I don't think she's paid taxes in 20 years,
but very hospitable.
Always has a deer in the freezer.
Would you listen to me?
I think that Gloria and my dad
could be Lily's guardians.
Look, you know I love Jay,
and they're still in the mix,
but I just don't know about him raising a child.
Well, Cam, he raised me.
得了 小卡 他把我养大了
Well, now you've put me in an awkward position.
Oh, look at that. That's adorable.
Let's see if we can get you some snow pants.
I just wish I felt better.
I think I'm coming down with flu-like symptoms.
Couple of hours before your camping trip, huh?
It's just, if I'm sick,
I might get the chaperones sick,
And without chaperones, it's anarchy.
Manny, listen to me.
The buddy system falls apart,
The principle of "Last in, first out" is ignored.
- It's butterflies. - Where?
You're just nervous because
there's gonna be a lot of physical activity,
which is not exactly your strong suit.
It is a little daunting out there.
D-don't use the word "daunting" in nature, okay?
You just need a little self-confidence.
Look at this. They got one of these rock walls here.
Why don't you hop up on that?
Why? To prove that you can do it.
If you can do that, you can do anything.
Really? Can I fly? Can I speak Chinese?
是吗 我能飞吗 我能讲中文吗
No, but you can sleep in the house tonight.
Ace? Want to wire my boy up, here? Go ahead.
埃斯 麻烦给我孩子系上绳子 去吧
I'm sorry I went behind your back.
But you get so defensive whenever
we talk about Luke's issues.
He doesn't have issues. You're just a worrier.
Like when you thought he was never gonna talk.
He was 2, and all he could do was bark!
- I understood him. - Phil!
Look, he starts coming here,
the other kids find out, he becomes a target,
like that limping gazelle at the watering hole
that the alligator knows to eat.
They're crocodiles, not alligators.
There are no alligators in Africa.
How about at the zoo?
Bam! Who needs a shrink now?
- Mr. And mrs. Dunphy? - Yes?
-邓菲先生 邓菲太太 -什么事
Luke, I'm gonna talk to your mom and dad for a minute, okay?
Okay. She's, like, the best doctor ever.
A couple of puzzles, no shots.
I didn't even have to take my pants off.
Found that one out a little late.
I've been there, buddy.
Well, luke's a terrific kid.
I have a few thoughts, but, honestly,
I don't see anything that's cause for alarm.
Awesome. Thanks so much for your time.
We -- we would love to hear your thoughts.
Well...he's a bright and curious boy,
But he gets distracted.
I see it all the time with above-average kids.
Phil, honey, I want you to hear this.
菲尔 亲爱的 给我认真听
They're a little overstimulated
because there are so many things they're interested in.
They never seem to focus.
Well, they usually do outgrow it.
- What if they don't? - He will.
Well, there's -- there's medication,
but why don't we cross that bridge if we come to it?
Is there any way to avoid that bridge altogether?
You know, maybe there's diet or --
or focusing exercises or something?
Mrs. Dunphy, what exactly are you worried about?
I'm worried he's turning into you, Phil.
I knew the minute I opened my mouth
that I was in the wrong,
but, honestly, sometimes I wonder about him.
- Hey, mom, check it out. - What are you doing?
-妈 你看我 -你在干嘛
If I move my head fast enough,
it looks like the can is standing still.
He's totally right!
I just find it interesting that you blame Jay
for everything from your night terrors to your shy bladder,
And now he's the perfect guardian for Lily.
No, not perfect, and -- and
I never said anything about my shy bladder.
O-oh. Then why did I have to stand guard outside the bathroom
The Three Faces of Eve 《三面夏娃》 美国电影 派珀喜欢开主题派对
at Pepper's three faces of new year's eve party?
Damn it, Manny! Move it! Go!
给点力 曼尼 快爬 快
You're 2 feet off the ground.
I've seen vines climb walls faster than that.
Oh, well, there's your esteem-building parent right there.
Wait, wait, I think I hear future Lily
sending us a message from her stripper pole --
"Thanks, gay dead dads.
This dance is for you."
Not till you touch the top! What is it?
Well, maybe if we didn't bully Manny so much,
but, rather, showed him,
he wouldn't be so afraid.
Excuse me, Sherpa, can you assist me with the harness?
打扰一下 夏尔巴人 能帮我系上吗
Oh, no. Which one of these is my driving machine?
Phil, I already apologized.
It just -- it came out wrong.
Funny, I thought that was my problem --
Oh, good, I can walk again.
Honey, you know, sometimes you can act a little bit --
Oh, no! Where did everyone go?!
Oh, just a blink.
when you are ready to talk to me like an adult,
why don't you let me know?
Fine. Okay, okay.
好的 行了 行了
The adults are the big ones, right?
Hey, how do you think that got up there?
Now, I know it seems daunting,
Manny, but it's very simple.
I'm securely hitched to a rope,
which means I'm not going to fall.
You know, dad, you're really making
- my life difficult right now.- How?
By barking at Manny like a drill sergeant
when I'm trying to convince Cam
that you'd be a great guardian for lily.
- Guardian? - Yeah.
Yeah, never mind.
This is a mistake.
Why does she keep saying that?
Because they're the first words she ever heard.
Here, you go first.
This will teach that Skank a lesson.
Shaving cream in her locker?
Just stand over there and yell if someone's coming.
She might have homework assignments in there
she hasn't handed in yet.
- Someone's coming! - Run!
- This way, this way! - Okay, okay, okay!
-这边 这边 -好的 好的 好的
- Where are we? - Boys' locker room.
It smells like feet.
That's not feet. Okay. Come here.
这可不是脚臭 好的 来这边
Just go to your happy place.
We just broke into my happy place.
Go, go, run, run!
走 走 跑 跑
Not so loud! Run! Run!
不要这么大声 快跑 快跑
Oh, not good. I'm just glad my clown training
prepared me to take a fall like that.
Yeah, and in terms of talking about it,
Are we looking at weeks, months?
Do not minimize it, you,
who I had to rush to the emergency room
that time you fell out of your clogs.
There's your bubbly water with lemon.
Oh, it's hard to tell.
You know, anytime you have
a catastrophic injury to your lumbar area --
I could use a little piece of lumbar myself right now.
Well, I hope you're comfortable now
making my family Lily's guardians.
You're forgetting about Gloria.
Even you have to admit how amazing she is with Lily.
Mm! Look who's so pretty!
Gloria, what did you do?
You pierced her ears?!
I was going to make her pretty with earrings.
I thought you said "Hair rings."
What are hair rings?
Yes, Mitchell, what are hair rings?
是的 米奇尔 什么是发环
Something that you would tie your hair back --
I didn't say "Hair rings." I said "Earrings."
Of course not. You punctured our daughter!
But did you see both sides?
I didn't just do the gay ear.
I actually -- I think we're good.
Let's just wait in here for Gabby, okay?
Oh, my god! I can't believe we just did that.
Can you believe we just did that?
Yeah, we had a lot of fun. Let's not geek it up.
是的 我们玩的很开心 用不着大惊小怪
Wait. What if I have a taste for it now?
Am I gonna start doing stuff like that all the time?
Calm down. You just did one bad thing.
I skipped my cello lesson today.
That wasn't even where my teacher lives.
You ditched a class?
Well, I-I didn't have time to practice
Because of lacrosse and debate team and --
Do you even like playing the cello?
I've never quit anything.
You've never broke into a school before.
No offense, but the family's hopes and dreams
are kind of pinned on me.
I'm just saying that no one would blame you
if you stopped being so perfect.
It actually would take a lot of pressure off of me.
I did something bad, too...
Something that nobody knows.
- What? - Come here.
I can't say it too loud, okay?
Phil, I'm just not sure you understand
why I said what I said.
There are qualities about me you wish you could change,
but you can't 'cause I'm all grown up,
but it's not too late for Luke.
Honey, there are a hundred things about luke
that he gets from you that I absolutely love.
It's just this -- this one tiny part
that I'm sure if I could just get in there and just...ee!
Claire... he's a great kid.
He's gonna be fine.
I feel terrible that we fought in front of him.
Did he say anything about that on the drive here?
How would I know? He rode with you.
He didn't drive with me. He drove with you.
you want lily raised by anyone but my family.
It's just so far away from everything she knows.
And then there's the crazy aunts and the frozen cows.
Oh, please, in the last hour,
your father publicly shamed Manny,
dropped me from the sky,
while his wife drilled holes in our baby's head.
Which is why I think
we should revisit claire and phil.
We left Luke alone in a parking garage!
We don't know the whole story.
- Whose car are we taking? - Mine.
- Buddy! - Lukey?
- Thank you so much. - Honey, get out of there.
-太谢谢您了 -宝贝儿 快下来
I'm so sorry. We are so sorry.
- Oh, buddy, you must've been so scared.- No.
-儿子 你肯定吓坏了吧 -没有
- Oh, god. - Well, what happened?
Well, I knew you'd come back.
So I had to go find a phone.
That's when I saw a stray dog
and I played with him for a while.
Then I thought I saw mrs. Morgan,
my first-grade teacher, going into a church.
but there was a wedding there.
That's where I met the Litvaks.
Oh, thank you! Thank you so much.
- Can I go get a drink? - Yes, you can.
Yes, you can! You can drink whatever you want!
There's tons of soda in there.
What an amazing kid!
I can't believe I ever worried about him out in the world.
That's what I do, though, isn't it? I worry.
但母亲都这样 对吧 我担心
I worry -- I think about a tiny, little thing,
and then I obsess on it, until, suddenly,
it's the only thing I can think about.
God, please don't let me screw up our son.
You know why else he's gonna be okay?
Because somewhere out there is a worried little girl
who's making lists and labeling bins,
and he's gonna find her.
I know you're kind of down on jay being lily's guardian.
Now, that's not anything you need to worry about, Manny.
I just think you're being too hard on him.
We had a little chat in the car.
I'm sorry I let you down, Jay.
I'm starting to think if I couldn't even get up that wall,
- Then why am I even going on this - Knock it off, Manny.
-我还奢望去什么露营呢 -别这样说 曼尼
We both know you could get up that wall.
Now, why are you trying to get out of this trip?
I'm not. I'm excited to go --
I have some concerns about the shower situation.
- Well, I'm pretty much at my target weight. - That's good.
But the thing is, I haven't quite reached my target height.
All right, first of all, you don't have to go.
I'll write you a note.
We'll plan on doing something fun this weekend.
- Really? - You bet.
And you're not mad at me?
Look, if you were a different kid, I'd give you the speech --
听着 如果你是其他孩子 我就会教训他
You know, "We all have insecurities.
You've got to be brave here."
But let's face it --
You're already about the bravest kid I know.
- I am? - Come on.
You wear blazers to school. You play the pan flute.
You -- you read poetry to girls.
I couldn't even talk to girls when I was your age.
The shower thing's nothing compared to all that.
So, whatever you decide, I'm behind you.
No, I got that set up just right.
I told you about that before.
Yeah, and he wasn't drinking or anything.
So, what are you gonna do?
I think I'm gonna go.
I mean, if Reuben can go with that extra nipple...
I'm proud of you, Manny.
You're doing the right thing, trust me.
I mean, what were you thinking, Gloria?
Ay, Mitch, I said I was sorry.
But I had them since I was 2 -- huge ones.
Earrings, Phil. Earrings.
Mitch, I just wanted to tell you how really touched I was
You'd want me to be lily's guardian.
Oh, you're welcome. And you're out.
I have a very important announcement to make.
Oh. Sorry. Sorry, so rude.
Totally inexcusable. Yello!
Mitchell and I have decided that if, god forbid,
Anything should happen to us --
- You don't have to do this right now. - No.
-你不用现在就说 -不 我心意已决
We would like to Jay and Gloria to be Lily's guardians.
- Cam? - It's the right decision.
That is great news!
Lily, when something horrible happens,
You're going to be all mine!
It really is an "If" Situation.
I don't mean to ruin this really beautiful moment,
But were Phil and I even considered for the position?
I mean, we are the parents
Of three healthy, well-adjusted children who --
Honey, we need to go down to the police station.
Our daughters just vandalized the school.
Let's go see your new room, Liliana.
No, that's not her name.
Oh, hey, what are you doing home?
Oh, I bailed on yoga.
Oh, oh, could you go to the mailbox and get me --
No, why can't I just come in?
- You can. I just - - Cameron?
-你当然能 我只是 -卡梅隆
- What? - Look at me.
- I am. - What did you do?
I am home alone for a lot of hours.
I just wanted a couple before the holes closed up.
All right, just get one with me really quick.
All right. Hey! One for daddy!