摩登家庭 第二季 Modern Family Season 2 第20集: Someone to Watch Over Lily

上映日期: 2,010

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: Jason Winer

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹


台词
Want some coffee?
要咖啡吗
Say yes. It's french press.
来一杯吧 这可是法式滤压壶泡出来的
I was doubtful, too,
一开始我也怀疑
but I honestly can't see myself going back to drip.
但说实话尝过之后 普通的滤滴咖啡都是浮云
I'm so happy you don't live in a tough neighborhood anymore.
真高兴你们终于搬离那个是非之地了
We're so sorry for just dropping by like this.
这样贸然来访 真是不好意思
Are you kidding me?
你们开什么玩笑
I'll take any chance to spend time with this little princess.
我巴不得和这位小公主一起呢
I love her little hair, her little toes.
软软头发小脚丫 我打心底喜欢
and she loves her grandmother.
她也打从心底里喜欢她的奶奶
I don't love "Grandmother."
不许叫我"奶奶"
So, Cam and I have been revising our will
我和小卡在修订遗嘱
to specify who should take care of Lily
以防天有不测风云
if, god forbid, something happened to us.
上帝保佑最好没有 我们想给莉莉指定个监护人
God forbid.
上帝会保佑咱俩的
I said "God for--"
我刚说了"上帝保佑"
So, we've been dropping by unannounced
所以我们多方突击
to, you know, casually assess our candidates.
以对所有人选进行评估
Not all of our candidates.
也不是"所有"啦
No, t-that's true. We did not drop by Missour-ah.
这倒是 我们没去密苏雷
It's "Missouri."
那念"密苏里"
No one from Missouri would say "Missour-ah."
真没见过自报家门还念错的
I'm so sorr-ah.
多有失"雷"
So, anyway, Claire and Phil were our first thought,
我们最先考虑的是克莱尔和菲尔
so we dropped by their place last week.
所以上星期突袭了他们家
You win the award for worst mother ever!
恭喜您获得"史上最烂老妈奖"
I will be sure to thank you in my speech!
我一定会在获奖感言里感谢你
Phil, the frying pan's on fire!
菲尔 煎锅着火了
Son of Jor-el! Everybody stay calm!
我滴超人呀 大家保持冷静
Dad, I'm gonna teach myself how to juggle.
老爸 我想自学杂耍
Good for you, buddy.
好极了 伙计
Mom! No one heard me screaming?!
老妈 你们就听不见我喊救命吗
I've been trapped in the garage for like 20 minutes!
我在车库里被关了大概有20分钟
And yet still you didn't get the rat traps I sent you for.
而你还是没把我要的捕鼠器拿过来
- Oh! - Thank you.
-老天 -净帮倒忙
Honey, it's doing it again!
亲爱的 锅又着火了
Come on, now! Every morning?!
不是吧 每天早上都这样
I hope the whole house burns down!
最好烧个片瓦不留
Did we come at a bad time?
我们是不是来得不巧
Come back in seven years and five months,
等上七年五个月再来吧
when they're all gone!
他们走了就清净了
So, mama, you're good for coal?!
煤够吗 妈妈
Okay, okay!
好的 好的
Well, you bundle up!
你可得裹厚穿暖咯
We don't want to lose you!
可别有个三长两短的
Okay. Yeah, bye!
好的 再见
They're in the middle of a terrible blizzard.
他们正处在一场严重暴风雪正中
So you shouted!
难怪你要大声嚷嚷
Did they really lose two cows?
他们真的损失了两头牛吗
Oh, yeah, frozen solid. Mama's gonna send pictures.
对啊 冻得硬梆梆 妈妈会把照片寄过来
Oh, yay, a reason to stop by the frame store.
好耶 又有理由去买相框了
Manny, I got to get you down to that sporting-goods place.
曼尼 我带你去趟体育用品店
- Got to get him some stuff for his weekend outing. - Ready!
-为他周末露营置点东西 -整装待发
- Did you pee? Not ready.
-尿干净了吗 -待会再发
- Jay, would you mind if we came? - Sure, why not?
-不介意我们跟来吧 杰 -怎么会呢
You know, I'd like to get mama some snowshoes --
我想给妈妈买两双雪靴
You know, to lift her spirits,
雪中送靴 鼓鼓士气
what with all the frozen cows and all.
舒缓丧牛之痛
So, cows freeze now? Are we all just accepting that?
所以牛现在就冻住了 你认为我们会相信吗
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Jay, this one time --
当然了 杰 就次...
We'll take two cars.
我们分车坐
If you want, I can stay with the little princess.
我可以留下来照顾小公主
Oh, that-- that's a great idea.
那可太好了
Oh, yeah, I'll just -- I'll just go out and get her bag.
我去拿她的包
Maybe I can take her to the mall,
我想带她去商场
buy her a new outfit,
给她添件新衣服
get her some hair rings -- is that okay?
给她整俩发环什么的 可以吗
Yes, yes, of course.
当然可以
Um, you know, Gloria, Cam and I were talking
其实呢 歌洛莉亚 我跟小卡一直商量
about what would happen to Lily
如果我们真出事了
if anything were ever to happen to us,
该怎么安置莉莉
- and we were thinking - Oh, my god. Is it? I take her!
-我们打算 -真的吗 让我来照顾她
Okay, well, that's very sweet,
这个嘛 你愿意固然好
but you realize it would only happen --
但要明白 只有真出事了...
I can't wait!
我迫不及待啊
Okay, well, hopefully, it's a long shot.
可惜机会渺茫呀
Ay, a little girl!
小丫头
There would have to be a very tragic accident.
一旦出事可就惨绝人寰啊
I know, I know.
知道啦 知道啦
Nothing is going to happen.
你们不会出事的
Oh.
好吧
But if it did, we would be so happy!
万一真出了事 我可就太开心啦
So, what do you say, pal? I got to swing by the office.
怎么样 伙计 我要开车去上班
You want to come along?
你一起来吗
Can't. We got some stuff to do.
去不了 我们有事要做
- What? - Just errands.
-什么事啊 -小事而已
I'm taking Luke to see a child psychologist.
我要带卢克去看儿童心理学家
This is something that Phil would never agree to.
菲尔肯定不会同意
He's doesn't want luke to feel...different.
他不想卢克觉得自己 异于常人
But Luke's grades aren't great,
但是卢克学习不好
and he's having trouble concentrating in school.
而且他在学校注意力涣散
I just want to make sure that he's...normal.
我只想确保他 身心正常
- Hey, mom, check it out. - What are you doing?
-妈妈快看呀 -你干什么呢
If I move my head fast enough,
只要我晃头的速度够快
It looks like the can is standing still.
这罐子看起来就像静止了一样
'cause sometimes I wonder.
因为有时我怀疑
But all the girls at work love it
不过我公司的女孩子
when I bring luke by,
都喜欢我带卢克过去
especially that receptionist Heather, right, buddy?
特别是那个叫海瑟的前台 是吧
She smells amazing.
她闻起来很香
Mm. Well, honey, you're gonna have to
亲爱的 恐怕你得改天再去
smell daddy's receptionist some other time.
一闻你老爸前台的芳香了
Like peaches.
那香味像桃子
If you're both going out, who's taking me to cello?
你们都出去了 谁带我去练大提琴
- One time, she gave me a woody. - Sweet je--
-有次 她送我一个胡迪 -亲爱的
She remembered he's my favorite character from "Toy story."
她记得那是《玩具总动员》里我最喜欢的角色
She did.
她记性好
Uh...Haley, how are you getting to the mall?
海莉 你怎么去购物中心
Uh, Gabby's picking me up.
盖比接我过去
Okay, you're gonna drop
好 那你先把你妹妹
your sister off at her cello lesson first.
送去上大提琴课
No way. She plays lacrosse and takes cello lessons.
不是吧 她会打长曲棍球还会拉大提琴
Even my reputation can't handle that dork hit.
即使我那强大的坏名声 也承受不住那呆瓜的一击呀
Okay, well, then you don't need
好吧 那你假期的时候
to go snowboarding with your friends on break.
也不要和你的朋友去滑雪了
Fine, I'll take her.
好吧 我带她过去
Just never look my friends in the eye,
别跟我朋友直视
and only speak in emergencies.
尽量别出声
- Got it. - Ah! Already failed.
-没问题 -已经犯规了
Honey, after I go by the office,
亲爱的 我去办公室露个脸
- maybe we can grab some lunch. - Oh, I can't.
-咱们就去吃午饭吧 -不行
I got to pick up all that stuff for the school trip.
我要把学校露营的东西都准备齐了
But you know what? I'll see you tonight at dad and Gloria's.
这样吧 今晚在老爸和歌洛莉亚家碰面吧
- Okay. - Smell Heather for me.
-好 -代我一闻海瑟的芳香
I always do...not.
我一直都是充鼻 不闻
Ms. Dunphy?
邓菲夫人吗
Hi, Dr. Klausner.
克劳斯乐医生您好
I am so sorry we're late.
抱歉我们来晚了
We just got a little bit caught up in --
刚才路上有点堵车
Oh, no, it's okay. It's okay.
没事没事
It gave me a chance to chat with your husband.
正好给我机会跟你丈夫聊了会
Hello, Claire.
你好啊 克莱尔
So, Luke, come on in with me.
那么卢克 跟我来
Mom and dad, we'll let you know when we need you.
至于父母 有需要我们会通知你们的
Go get 'em, pal.
伙计 加油
- How did you -- - How did I what?
-你怎么 -我怎么了
Know you were someplace you left no trace of
怎么知道你在这儿 除了日程表上的小记号
except for a tiny notation in your calendar?
你没有留下一丝线索
It was quite simple, really.
真挺容易的
I noticed a tiny nota--
我注意到日程表上的小
Shoot.
糟糕
That's weird. My cello teacher's car isn't here.
真奇怪 我大提琴老师的车不在
I wonder if she's not home.
我真怀疑她是否在家
Okay, so go knock on the door, Alan Einstein.
那就敲门试试啊 艾伦·爱因斯坦
- Don't leave. And it's "Albert."- I know.
- 不许走 还有是"阿尔伯特" -我知道
Alan's his dorky brother who played the cello.
艾伦是他那个拉大提琴的呆瓜弟弟
Good one.
说得好
I should probably not be telling you this.
我本来不应该跟你说的
- What? - Nothing. It's really bad.
-什么 -没什么 很糟的事情
Tell me.
快说
When you and Dylan were broken up,
你和迪兰分手的时候
Rachel told him you were a skank
雷切尔跟他说你是个荡妇
and got all up on him.
然后彻底偷走了他
No! But she's so nice to me.
不是吧 她对我很好的
To your face. That's how she plays.
当着你的面而已 她就会耍这种小把戏
Well, now she's gonna see how we play.
那就让她看看咱们的小把戏
What are we gonna do?
我们要怎么做
She's not there. You're just gonna have to take me home.
她不在家 你们把我送回家就行了
We don't have time. We have stuff to do.
我们没时间 忙着呢
Then I'm just gonna have to come with you.
那我就得一直跟着你了
Can't we just drop her off
我们不能把她放在咖啡厅
at a coffee shop or something?
或者别的什么地方吗
What, so she gets kidnapped
什么啊 那她要是被绑架了
and I get in trouble?
我不等于惹祸上身吗
No, thank you.
谢谢 还是算了
Okay, fine, you can come with us,
行 你能跟着
But you have to keep your mouth shut about anything you see.
但是不管看到什么 请管好你的嘴
- What's she gonna see? - Just drive!
-她会看到什么 -开车
Ooh, maybe I should also get a gift for my aunt Pat.
或许我应该给我的阿姨派特也买个礼物
Have I ever told you about her?
我有跟你提起过她吗
Total gun nut, lives completely off the grid.
是一个十足的枪械狂 不留痕迹地生活着
Did you see how cute Gloria was with Lily?
你看见歌洛莉亚和莉莉在一起多可爱
Oh, Pat is hilarious.
派特十分滑稽
I don't think she's paid taxes in 20 years,
我觉得她二十年都没交过税
but very hospitable.
但为人很热情
Always has a deer in the freezer.
冰箱里总是备着一只鹿
Would you listen to me?
你有在听我说话吗
I think that Gloria and my dad
我觉得歌洛莉亚和我老爸
could be Lily's guardians.
可以做莉莉的监护人
Look, you know I love Jay,
听着 你知道我爱杰
and they're still in the mix,
他们家还在名单中
but I just don't know about him raising a child.
但他养育孩子方面我还不了解
Well, Cam, he raised me.
得了 小卡 他把我养大了
Well, now you've put me in an awkward position.
好吧 你这话就让我陷入了尴尬的局面
Oh, look at that. That's adorable.
看看 这真可爱
Let's see if we can get you some snow pants.
看看能不能帮你找几条滑雪裤
I just wish I felt better.
真希望我感觉好点了
I think I'm coming down with flu-like symptoms.
我觉得我有些流感症状
Couple of hours before your camping trip, huh?
就在去露营的前几小时吗
I want to go.
我想去啊
It's just, if I'm sick,
只不过 要是我病了
I might get the chaperones sick,
我可能会传给监护人
And without chaperones, it's anarchy.
要是没有监护人 就乱套了
Manny, listen to me.
曼尼 听我说
The buddy system falls apart,
伙伴制会崩溃的
The principle of "Last in, first out" is ignored.
"后进先出"的规则就会被忽视
- It's butterflies. - Where?
-有蝴蝶 -在哪儿
You're just nervous because
你不过是紧张了 因为
there's gonna be a lot of physical activity,
会有很多的体育活动
which is not exactly your strong suit.
而且都不是你的长处
It is a little daunting out there.
那地方有点让人龟缩
D-don't use the word "daunting" in nature, okay?
不要对大自然用"龟缩"这个词儿
You just need a little self-confidence.
你需要一点点自信
Look at this. They got one of these rock walls here.
看 他们有一堵攀岩墙
Why don't you hop up on that?
去试一试吧
Why?
为什么
Why? To prove that you can do it.
什么为什么 这可以证明你能行
If you can do that, you can do anything.
你要是能做到这个 你什么都能做到
Really? Can I fly? Can I speak Chinese?
是吗 我能飞吗 我能讲中文吗
No, but you can sleep in the house tonight.
不 但你今晚能在我们房里睡觉
Ace? Want to wire my boy up, here? Go ahead.
埃斯 麻烦给我孩子系上绳子 去吧
I'm sorry I went behind your back.
抱歉我背着你来这儿
But you get so defensive whenever
但是我们每次讨论卢克的问题时
we talk about Luke's issues.
你总是不容分说地反对
He doesn't have issues. You're just a worrier.
他没有问题 是你太过担心了
Like when you thought he was never gonna talk.
就像你当初担心他以后不会讲话一样
He was 2, and all he could do was bark!
他两岁那会儿 只会跟狗一样吠
- I understood him. - Phil!
-我了解他 -菲尔
Look, he starts coming here,
听着 他来看医生的事情
the other kids find out, he becomes a target,
如果被别的孩子知道 他就成了众矢之的
like that limping gazelle at the watering hole
就像跛脚的羚羊在水潭边喝水
that the alligator knows to eat.
被短吻鳄发现了就会来吃它
They're crocodiles, not alligators.
是鳄鱼 不是短吻鳄
There are no alligators in Africa.
非洲没有短吻鳄
How about at the zoo?
那动物园呢
Bam! Who needs a shrink now?
看吧 到底谁才要看心理医生
- Mr. And mrs. Dunphy? - Yes?
-邓菲先生 邓菲太太 -什么事
Hi.
你好
Luke, I'm gonna talk to your mom and dad for a minute, okay?
卢克 我要跟你爸爸妈妈谈一谈好吗
Okay. She's, like, the best doctor ever.
好的 她简直是我见过最好的医生
A couple of puzzles, no shots.
只做了几个题 又不用打针
I didn't even have to take my pants off.
我甚至根本不需要脱裤子
Found that one out a little late.
早就应该找这种医生了
I've been there, buddy.
我以前也遇到过烂医生
Well, luke's a terrific kid.
卢克这孩子很不错
I have a few thoughts, but, honestly,
我是发现了一些问题 但是说实话
I don't see anything that's cause for alarm.
我觉得没有什么好紧张的
Awesome. Thanks so much for your time.
那敢情好 耽误您的时间了
We -- we would love to hear your thoughts.
我们很想听听您的意见
Well...he's a bright and curious boy,
他是个聪明 充满好奇的孩子
But he gets distracted.
但是他容易分神
I see it all the time with above-average kids.
我见过很多更容易分神的孩子
Phil, honey, I want you to hear this.
菲尔 亲爱的 给我认真听
They're a little overstimulated
他们会有点过度兴奋
because there are so many things they're interested in.
因为他们对很多事情都充满好奇
They never seem to focus.
他们很难集中精力
Makes me crazy.
就这点让我抓狂
Too crazy.
抓狂得不得了
Well, they usually do outgrow it.
他们长大了就不会这样了
- What if they don't? - He will.
-要是还这样呢 -他不会的
Well, there's -- there's medication,
是有一些药物治疗方案
but why don't we cross that bridge if we come to it?
但是我们得在有问题的时候才使用
Is there any way to avoid that bridge altogether?
有没有方法可以防止问题出现呢
You know, maybe there's diet or --
或许有食疗
or focusing exercises or something?
或者精神集中训练之类的
Mrs. Dunphy, what exactly are you worried about?
邓菲太太 你到底在担心什么
Get comfortable.
庸人自扰
I'm worried he's turning into you, Phil.
我担心他会变成你这样 菲尔
I knew the minute I opened my mouth
我知道我在说出这些话的时候
that I was in the wrong,
我已经错了
but, honestly, sometimes I wonder about him.
但是说实话 有时候我有点搞不懂
- Hey, mom, check it out. - What are you doing?
-妈 你看我 -你在干嘛
If I move my head fast enough,
如果我头摇得够快
it looks like the can is standing still.
这罐子看起来就像静止了一样
He's totally right!
他说得太对了
I just find it interesting that you blame Jay
真有意思 你以前把你从做恶梦
for everything from your night terrors to your shy bladder,
到膀胱害羞症这些事情都归咎于你老爹
And now he's the perfect guardian for Lily.
现在他又成了莉莉最合适的监护人
No, not perfect, and -- and
我没说最合适 还有
I never said anything about my shy bladder.
我从来没提到过我的膀胱害羞症
O-oh. Then why did I have to stand guard outside the bathroom
那为什么在派珀的三面元旦派对上
The Three Faces of Eve 《三面夏娃》 美国电影 派珀喜欢开主题派对
at Pepper's three faces of new year's eve party?
我得站在厕所外面放哨呢
Damn it, Manny! Move it! Go!
给点力 曼尼 快爬 快
It's scary.
好吓人啊
You're 2 feet off the ground.
你才离地两英尺
I've seen vines climb walls faster than that.
藤蔓爬墙都比你快
Move your butt!
赶紧给我爬
Oh, well, there's your esteem-building parent right there.
这就是曾经让你树立自信的老爸
Wait, wait, I think I hear future Lily
等等 我觉得我听见未来的莉莉
sending us a message from her stripper pole --
在脱衣舞钢管上面给我发来信息
"Thanks, gay dead dads.
"感谢已故的同性恋爸爸们
This dance is for you."
这舞是给你们跳的"
Excuse me, Jay?
打扰一下 杰
I'm getting down.
我想下来
Not till you touch the top! What is it?
等你爬到顶了再说 什么事
Well, maybe if we didn't bully Manny so much,
如果我们不这么强迫曼尼
but, rather, showed him,
而是演示给他看
he wouldn't be so afraid.
他可能就不会那么害怕
Excuse me, Sherpa, can you assist me with the harness?
打扰一下 夏尔巴人 能帮我系上吗
Oh, no. Which one of these is my driving machine?
天啊 我的驾驶机器在哪里
Phil, I already apologized.
菲尔 我已经道歉了
It just -- it came out wrong.
那是无意识 脱口而出的
Funny, I thought that was my problem --
真有趣 我还以为是我的问题呢
I came out wrong.
我出来错了
Hold on.
等下
Oh, good, I can walk again.
很好 我又能走路了
Honey, you know, sometimes you can act a little bit --
亲爱的 有时候你能表现得稍微
Oh, no! Where did everyone go?!
天啊 大家都去哪了
Oh, just a blink.
一眨眼就不见了
Phil,
菲尔
when you are ready to talk to me like an adult,
当你准备好像个成人一样跟我谈的时候
why don't you let me know?
知会我一声好吗
Fine. Okay, okay.
好的 行了 行了
The adults are the big ones, right?
成人是指那些"大"的人 对吧
Hey, how do you think that got up there?
你认为那是怎么挂上去的
Now, I know it seems daunting,
我知道这看起来让人龟缩
Manny, but it's very simple.
曼尼 但是这其实很简单
I'm securely hitched to a rope,
我安全地拴在绳子上
which means I'm not going to fall.
也就是说我不会掉下来
You know, dad, you're really making
爸爸 你让我的日子
- my life difficult right now.- How?
-现在变得真不好过 -怎么说
By barking at Manny like a drill sergeant
当我试着说服小卡
when I'm trying to convince Cam
你会是莉莉很好的监护人时
that you'd be a great guardian for lily.
你却像教官一样地训曼尼
- Guardian? - Yeah.
-监护人 -没错
You're kidding.
你开什么玩笑
Jay!
Yeah, never mind.
算了 当我没说过
That really hurt!
这真的很痛
This is a mistake.
这是一个错误
Why does she keep saying that?
为什么她要不停的说这句话
Because they're the first words she ever heard.
因为这是她第一次听到"错误"这个词儿
Here, you go first.
给你 你先来
This will teach that Skank a lesson.
给这个荡妇一个教训
Shaving cream in her locker?
往她的置物柜中挤奶油
Just stand over there and yell if someone's coming.
你就站在那儿把风 有人来了就叫
She might have homework assignments in there
她那里可能有还没
she hasn't handed in yet.
交上去的作业
Haley!
海莉
- Someone's coming! - Run!
-有人来了 -快跑
- This way, this way! - Okay, okay, okay!
-这边 这边 -好的 好的 好的
- Where are we? - Boys' locker room.
-我们在哪 -男生置物间
It smells like feet.
闻起来有股脚臭味
That's not feet. Okay. Come here.
这可不是脚臭 好的 来这边
I'm so scared.
我很害怕
Just go to your happy place.
想想那些能令你开心的地方
We just broke into my happy place.
刚搞破坏的就是能令我开心的地方
Who's there?
谁在哪
Go, go, run, run!
走 走 跑 跑
Not so loud! Run! Run!
不要这么大声 快跑 快跑
So, how you doing?
你怎么样了
Oh, not good. I'm just glad my clown training
不好 我很庆幸我的小丑训练课程
prepared me to take a fall like that.
让我懂得如何栽跟头
Yeah, and in terms of talking about it,
很好 你以后肯定会对这事喋喋不休
Are we looking at weeks, months?
你是打算说上几周呢 还是几个月呢
Do not minimize it, you,
不要小看它造成的伤害
who I had to rush to the emergency room
你上次穿木屐滑到
that time you fell out of your clogs.
居然要我跑到急诊室看你
There's your bubbly water with lemon.
这是你要的柠檬气泡水
Thank you, Jay.
谢谢你 杰
How you doin'?
你怎么样了
Oh, it's hard to tell.
很难说
You know, anytime you have
一旦你的腰部
a catastrophic injury to your lumbar area --
出现了重大损伤
I could use a little piece of lumbar myself right now.
你要算有腰一族 那我肯定是水蛇腰了
Well, I hope you're comfortable now
现在让我的家人当莉莉的监护人
making my family Lily's guardians.
你不会有异议了吧
HOLA, HOLA!
你好 你好
You're forgetting about Gloria.
你忘了还有歌洛莉亚
Even you have to admit how amazing she is with Lily.
你得承认她和莉莉相处的很不错
Mm! Look who's so pretty!
谁家的女儿这么漂亮啊
Oh, my god!
天啊
Gloria, what did you do?
歌洛莉亚 你做了什么
What I told you.
我跟你说过了啊
You pierced her ears?!
你给她穿了耳洞
What I said --
我说过
I was going to make her pretty with earrings.
我要用耳环把她点缀得更漂亮
I thought you said "Hair rings."
我以为你说的是"发环"
What are hair rings?
发环是什么
Yes, Mitchell, what are hair rings?
是的 米奇尔 什么是发环
Something that you would tie your hair back --
某种能把头发系在后面
she said it!
她是这么说的
I didn't say "Hair rings." I said "Earrings."
我没有说"发环" 我说的"耳环"
You don't like?
你不喜欢吗
Of course not. You punctured our daughter!
当然不 你带我们的女儿去打洞
But did you see both sides?
但你看两边了吗
I didn't just do the gay ear.
除了同志专用耳 我另外一只也打了
Look.
Oh, my god.
天啊
Oh, my God.
天啊
I actually -- I think we're good.
我觉得咱们逃过一劫了
Let's just wait in here for Gabby, okay?
我们在这里等盖比 好吗
Oh, my god! I can't believe we just did that.
天 我真不敢相信我们刚做了什么
Can you believe we just did that?
你能相信刚才我们这么做了吗
Yeah, we had a lot of fun. Let's not geek it up.
是的 我们玩的很开心 用不着大惊小怪
Wait. What if I have a taste for it now?
等等 如果我爱上这种感觉了怎么办
Am I gonna start doing stuff like that all the time?
我会不会开始一直做这种事情
Calm down. You just did one bad thing.
冷静点 你只不过做了一件坏事
Two.
两件
I skipped my cello lesson today.
我还翘掉了今天的大提琴课
That wasn't even where my teacher lives.
我的老师根本不住那儿
You ditched a class?
你竟然翘课
Well, I-I didn't have time to practice
我-我根本没有时间练习
Because of lacrosse and debate team and --
因为我有曲棍球和辩论小组还有--
Do you even like playing the cello?
你根本不喜欢弹大提琴吧
Yeah.
我喜欢啊
Alex?
艾丽克斯
I hate it.
我讨厌它
So quit.
那就放弃啊
I've never quit anything.
我从没放弃过任何东西
You've never broke into a school before.
你以前还没闯入过学校呢
Just did that.
你不是刚刚也闯了吗
No offense, but the family's hopes and dreams
无意冒犯 不过咱们家的希望和梦想
are kind of pinned on me.
貌似都寄托在我身上
I'm just saying that no one would blame you
我只是说 就算你没有这么完美
if you stopped being so perfect.
也不会有人责怪你的
It actually would take a lot of pressure off of me.
实际上那样反倒会让我轻松不少
I did something bad, too...
我也做过一些坏事
Something that nobody knows.
一些没有人知道的事
- What? - Come here.
-是什么事 -过来
I can't say it too loud, okay?
我不能太大声说
What did you do?
你到底做了什么
Phil, I'm just not sure you understand
菲尔 我只是不确定你是否明白
why I said what I said.
我会说那些话的原因
There are qualities about me you wish you could change,
在我身上有很多你希望能够改变的缺点
but you can't 'cause I'm all grown up,
但你改不了了 因为我已经定型了
but it's not too late for Luke.
可是对卢克来说还不算太晚
Okay.
好吧
Honey, there are a hundred things about luke
亲爱的 卢克身上有无数遗传你的优点
that he gets from you that I absolutely love.
那些都是我绝对喜爱的
It's just this -- this one tiny part
只是 只是有这么小小的一部分
that I'm sure if I could just get in there and just...ee!
我坚信如果我能探进去 然后改过来
Claire... he's a great kid.
克莱尔 他是个很好的孩子
He's gonna be fine.
他会没事儿的
I know.
我知道
I think I know.
我想我应该知道吧
I feel terrible that we fought in front of him.
咱们俩在他面前吵架 真是糟透了
Did he say anything about that on the drive here?
他在回来的路上跟你说什么了吗
How would I know? He rode with you.
我怎么知道 他是跟你回来的
He didn't drive with me. He drove with you.
他没跟我回来 他坐的是你的车
Just admit it --
你就承认吧
you want lily raised by anyone but my family.
除了我的家人 你觉得莉莉被谁养大都行
It's just so far away from everything she knows.
只是因为那种生活和她了解的一切相去甚远
And then there's the crazy aunts and the frozen cows.
而且那里有位疯狂的阿姨和两头冻奶牛
Oh, please, in the last hour,
拜托 就在前一小时
your father publicly shamed Manny,
你爸让曼尼在大庭广众之下丢了脸
dropped me from the sky,
把我从半空摔了下来
while his wife drilled holes in our baby's head.
他老婆还在我们宝贝的耳朵上打了两个洞
Which is why I think
所以我才认为
we should revisit claire and phil.
咱们应该再去克莱尔和菲尔那里看看
Where are my keys?
我的钥匙呢
We left Luke alone in a parking garage!
我们把卢克一个人留在停车场了
We don't know the whole story.
我们并不了解整件事
Don't we?
真的吗
- Whose car are we taking? - Mine.
-咱们开谁的车去 -我的
Then I'm driving!
那我来开车
Hey, mom.
妈妈
- Buddy! - Luke?
-儿子 -卢克
- Buddy! - Lukey?
-儿子 -小克
- Thank you so much. - Honey, get out of there.
-太谢谢您了 -宝贝儿 快下来
Thank you!
谢谢
I'm so sorry. We are so sorry.
我很抱歉 我们非常抱歉
- Oh, buddy, you must've been so scared.- No.
-儿子 你肯定吓坏了吧 -没有
- Oh, god. - Well, what happened?
-天哪 -是怎么回事儿
Well, I knew you'd come back.
我知道你们会回来的
Then you didn't.
结果你们没来
So I had to go find a phone.
所以我只好去找电话
That's when I saw a stray dog
就是那时候我看见了一只迷路的狗
and I played with him for a while.
然后和他玩儿了一会儿
Then I thought I saw mrs. Morgan,
接着我以为我看见我一年级时的老师
my first-grade teacher, going into a church.
摩根太太 她正要进教堂
It wasn't her,
结果那不是她
but there was a wedding there.
但是那时教堂正好在举行婚礼
That's where I met the Litvaks.
我就是在那里遇见利特瓦克一家的
Oh, thank you! Thank you so much.
谢谢你们 太感谢了
Congratul-- tov.
恭喜恭喜[Mazel Tov为犹太语的恭喜]
Mwah! Oh, baby.
宝贝儿
- Can I go get a drink? - Yes, you can.
-我能去喝点东西吗 -当然可以
Yes, you can! You can drink whatever you want!
去喝吧 想喝什么就喝什么
There's tons of soda in there.
家里有一堆汽水呢
What an amazing kid!
多棒的孩子
I can't believe I ever worried about him out in the world.
真不敢相信我会担心他在外边出事
That's what I do, though, isn't it? I worry.
但母亲都这样 对吧 我担心
I worry -- I think about a tiny, little thing,
我担心他 我只不过想到了一点小事
and then I obsess on it, until, suddenly,
就一直钻牛角尖 直到刚才突然间
it's the only thing I can think about.
我脑子里只想着一件事
God, please don't let me screw up our son.
上帝啊 别让我毁了咱们的儿子
You know why else he's gonna be okay?
你知道他还会因为什么没事吗
No.
不知道
Because somewhere out there is a worried little girl
因为这个世界上一定还有个担忧的小女生
who's making lists and labeling bins,
像你一样会列一堆清单 会给垃圾分类
and he's gonna find her.
他会找到她的
Cam?
小卡
I know you're kind of down on jay being lily's guardian.
我知道你对杰成为莉莉的监护人的事有偏见
Now, that's not anything you need to worry about, Manny.
你不用管这事 曼尼
I just think you're being too hard on him.
我只是觉得你对他太苛刻了
We had a little chat in the car.
我和他在车里小谈了一下
I'm sorry I let you down, Jay.
很抱歉让你失望了 杰
I'm starting to think if I couldn't even get up that wall,
我开始觉得如果我连那堵墙都爬不上
- Then why am I even going on this - Knock it off, Manny.
-我还奢望去什么露营呢 -别这样说 曼尼
We both know you could get up that wall.
我们心里都清楚你能做到
Now, why are you trying to get out of this trip?
你为什么不想去这次旅行
I'm not. I'm excited to go --
我哪有 我兴奋着呢
Manny...
你骗不了我 曼尼
Okay.
好吧
I have some concerns about the shower situation.
我担心洗澡这事儿
Oh. Because?
怎么了
- Well, I'm pretty much at my target weight. - That's good.
-我显然达到了目标体重 -不错啊
But the thing is, I haven't quite reached my target height.
但是 我没达到我的目标身高
Got it.
原来如此
All right, first of all, you don't have to go.
首先 你可以不去
I'll write you a note.
我会帮你写张假条
We'll plan on doing something fun this weekend.
我们周末去做其他有趣的活动
- Really? - You bet.
-真的吗 -当然
And you're not mad at me?
你不生我的气
Look, if you were a different kid, I'd give you the speech --
听着 如果你是其他孩子 我就会教训他
You know, "We all have insecurities.
害怕是理所当然
You've got to be brave here."
可你必须勇敢面对
But let's face it --
可事实是
You're already about the bravest kid I know.
你是我见过最勇敢的孩子
- I am? - Come on.
-真的吗 -得了吧
You wear blazers to school. You play the pan flute.
你穿鲜艳的运动夹克去学校 你会吹排箫
You -- you read poetry to girls.
你会对女生读情诗
I couldn't even talk to girls when I was your age.
我在你这年纪的时候 都不敢和女生说话
The shower thing's nothing compared to all that.
和这些事迹比起来 洗澡就是小巫见大巫
So, whatever you decide, I'm behind you.
无论你如何决定 我永远支持你
No, I got that set up just right.
别 我都设置好了
I told you about that before.
早告诉过你不许碰
Jay said that?
杰和你这么说的
Yeah, and he wasn't drinking or anything.
他可是十分清醒的
So, what are you gonna do?
你准备怎么做
I think I'm gonna go.
我觉得我会去的
I mean, if Reuben can go with that extra nipple...
连鲁本都能不在乎他多余乳头 我还在乎什么
I'm proud of you, Manny.
我为你自豪 曼尼
You're doing the right thing, trust me.
你做的没错
I mean, what were you thinking, Gloria?
你在想什么 歌洛莉亚
Ay, Mitch, I said I was sorry.
米奇 我对你说过抱歉了
But I had them since I was 2 -- huge ones.
可我两岁都有耳环了 而且还是大颗的
What is she --
她这是怎么了
Earrings, Phil. Earrings.
是耳环 菲尔
Mitch, I just wanted to tell you how really touched I was
米奇 你想让我成为莉莉的监护人
You'd want me to be lily's guardian.
我备受感动
Oh, you're welcome. And you're out.
不用谢 但你出局了
Excuse me.
打扰一下
I have a very important announcement to make.
我有一个非常重要的声明要说
Oh. Sorry. Sorry, so rude.
抱歉 抱歉
Totally inexcusable. Yello!
这绝不能原谅 喂
Mitchell and I have decided that if, god forbid,
米奇尔和我决定 上帝保佑最好没有
Anything should happen to us --
要是我们有什么不测
- You don't have to do this right now. - No.
-你不用现在就说 -不 我心意已决
We would like to Jay and Gloria to be Lily's guardians.
我们想让杰和歌洛莉亚成为莉莉的监护人
- Cam? - It's the right decision.
-小卡 -这是正确的决定
That is great news!
这真是天大的好消息
Lily, when something horrible happens,
莉莉 要是天有不测
You're going to be all mine!
你将会是我的
It really is an "If" Situation.
那是在"万不得已"的情况下
All mine!
都是我的
I don't mean to ruin this really beautiful moment,
我不想破坏现在这美妙的氛围
But were Phil and I even considered for the position?
可菲尔和我不在名单里吗
Claire?
克莱尔
I mean, we are the parents
我们是三个身体健康
Of three healthy, well-adjusted children who --
行为得体的孩子的父母
Honey, we need to go down to the police station.
亲爱的 我们得去次警察局
Our daughters just vandalized the school.
我们的女儿们刚因蓄意破坏学校设施被捕
This is not over.
这还没完呢
Let's go see your new room, Liliana.
让我们去看你的新房间 莉莉亚娜
No, that's not her name.
那不是她的名字
Oh, hey, what are you doing home?
你怎么回来了
Oh, I bailed on yoga.
我翘了瑜伽课
Oh, yeah, yeah.
哦 好吧
Oh, oh, could you go to the mailbox and get me --
你能去下邮箱那帮我取下
No, why can't I just come in?
为什么我不能进来
- You can. I just - - Cameron?
-你当然能 我只是 -卡梅隆
- What? - Look at me.
-怎么了 -看着我
- I am. - What did you do?
-我正看着呢 -你做了什么
I am home alone for a lot of hours.
我自己在家待久了无聊
Carmen Miranda?
你把她弄成香蕉女郎卡门·米兰达
I just wanted a couple before the holes closed up.
我只是希望在耳洞愈合前留下纪念
Oh, cameron.
卡梅隆
All right, just get one with me really quick.
速度帮我和她照一张
All right. Hey! One for daddy!
好的 跟爸比来一张