摩登家庭 第二季 Modern Family Season 2 第22集: Good Cop Bad Dog

上映日期: 2,010

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: Jason Winer

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹


台词
Oh, good job.
好极了
Oh, yes, such a beautiful day.
今天真是个好天气
Let's go have brunch somewhere outside
我们找一个阳光猛烈的地方吃早午餐吧
Where I can wear my new sunglasses, huh?
好让我显摆一下我的新眼镜
Ew, gross! What happened to you?
天啊 你怎么了
I don't feel good.
我身体不适
I'm hot.
我忽热
Now I'm cold.
忽冷
Oh, no.
不会吧
and we have that concert tonight.
可我们今晚还要去看演唱会
I know, but, honey,
我知道 亲爱的
That's the furthest thing from my mind, okay?
现在先别担心这个 身体要紧
Why me?!
为什么是我
We had amazing seats for Lady GAGA,
我们买了女神卡卡演唱会里最棒的位置
and he gets sick.
可他却病了
I'd been looking forward to that concert for months.
我期待那场演唱会好几个月了
It's the one gay cliche I allow myself.
这是我允许自己表现得像个同志的唯一一点
No more fighting!
别吵了
No more fighting for the rest of your lives,
求求你们别再吵了
You are not allowed to yell at each other.
你们不许这样互吼
- But you're allowed to yell at us? - Yes, alex, I am,
-那你怎么就可以吼我们呢 -对 艾丽克斯 我可以
Because I feed you and I clothe you
那是因为我给你做饭 给你们买衣服
And I pay the mortgage.
连你们住的房子也是我来还房贷
Pretty sure old dad deserves a shout-out right about now.
看来你们老爹也机会一展狮吼绝技啊
- Phil! - Sorry.
-菲尔 -抱歉
Should've taken the temperature of the room first.
没想到战况这么激烈
What's up?
怎么了
Luke and Manny barged into our room
卢克和曼尼 这两个小变态
While we were changing, the little pervs!
在我们更衣时闯进我们的房间
Can I just say, in europe this would be no big deal.
我能插句话吗 在欧洲这可不算什么
Yeah. You can see me in my underwear whenever you want.
没错 你们可以随时看我穿内裤的样子
Here, I'll make it even.
来 现在就给你们看
- No, hey, Luke, Luke, Luke! - Mom!
-卢克 别这样 -老妈 你看他
Luke, keep your pants on, okay?!
卢克 别脱裤子
And, girls, stop getting so hysterical over everything!
女儿们 别什么事都这么歇斯底里
Come on! Now, grow up a little!
拜托 成熟点行不行
I need things to start changing around here,
我需要这里的风气稍微改改
Or I will change things, okay?
不然我会强制你们改
There will be no more TV and no internet
禁止看电视 禁止上网
And no whatever else I can think of.
还有禁止其他我能想到的事
May I have a word with you, Phil?
我能和你说几句吗 菲尔
I'd rather not.
能不说最好
What was that?
刚那算什么
- Nothing. - Phil, you sold me out behind my back.
-没什么 -你在我背后捅我一刀 菲尔
No! It's just that sometimes you can get a little intense,
哪有 只是觉得你有时太过严厉
And I feel like I need to swoop in
我觉得我有必要小闹一下
To let the kids know they're still loved.
让孩子们知道我们还是爱他们的
I could kick you.
一脚踢飞你
Honey, these are just the parts that we're playing.
亲爱的 为人父母都这样
Am I wrong, or has it been working?
我错了吗 这招能管用吗
I feel like it's been working.
我感觉挺管用的
I'm tired of being the bad cop.
我受够了总是当坏人
You need to discipline them sometime
有时需要你出面来管教下他们
And let me swoop in with all the love.
等我这个好人来让他们感受被爱
Shouldn't we just stick with the stuff we're good at?
难道咱们不应该坚守在自己擅长的岗位上吗
Oh, my god! This bathroom is disgusting!
天啊 这卫生间太恶心了
The girls told me they would clean it days ago.
女孩们几天前就答应我说会打扫的
I can't yell at them about it one more time, Phil.
我不能再对她们大吼大叫了 菲尔
You handle it.
该你上了
I would, but I promised Luke and Manny
我也想 可我答应卢克和曼尼
I'd take them go-karting for their good report cards.
要带他们去玩卡丁车 以此奖励他们的成绩
What was good about Luke's report card?
卢克的成绩哪里好了
He didn't lose it.
反正没有不及格
Let me take them.
我带他们去
Yes, let me take them. You stay here.
没错 让我去吧 你呆在家
Hound the girls about cleaning up this mess,
敦促女孩们打扫卫生
And I will take Luke to do something fun.
而我会带卢克好好玩的
But...
I want to go go-karting.
我想玩卡丁车
Yeah, I don't know what to tell you.
真可惜 我不知道该对你说什么
This is happening.
可木已成舟
Boys!
男孩们
Hey, guys, guess who's taking you go-karting today.
孩子们 猜猜谁今天带你们玩卡丁车
Me.
Why?
为什么
Are we in trouble?
我们闯祸了吗
No! You're not in trouble.
哪有 你们没有闯祸
Today's just all about having fun!
今天我要带你们玩个够
And you know what? Go-karting's just the beginning.
告诉你们 卡丁车只是个开头
What else are we doing?
我们还能玩什么
Whatever you want.
玩什么都行
- I want to bring dad. - Well, tough. You can't.
-我想带上老爸 -估计悬 不能带
He's doing something else.
他有事要做
Goodbye. We will be back in a few hours.
各位再见 我们几个小时后回来
Oh, whoa! Where you guys going?
等等 你们要去哪
I am taking Alex to the movies,
我要带艾丽克斯去看电影
And then I'm going to the mall.
然后我再去趟购物中心
How fun! That sounds like fun, doesn't it, Phil?
听起来很有趣 是不 菲尔
I'm not much of a shopper, but it would depend on --
我又不是个购物狂 可这取决于
Clean bathroom.
打扫洗手间
Girls...
女儿们
How about you clean your bathroom before you go, huh?
你们出门之前先打扫一下洗手间吧
It'd really help your mom out.
算帮你们老妈点忙
Oh, no. It's not about what mom wants.
不用 我可没提这种要求
You mom is cool,
你们老妈无所谓
Very cool with whatever.
对任何事都无所谓
It's about what dad wants.
提这种要求的可是你们老爸
Dad wants to go go-karting.
老爸想去玩卡丁车
I would really like it if you would clean your bathroom.
我非常希望你们能去打扫一下洗手间
But my movie!
那我的电影怎么办
Why do we have to do it now?
为什么非要现在做
Because Claire says so.
因为克莱尔说了
Because I say so.
因为我说了
And because I'm your dad.
还因为我是你们老爸
And I'm older than you,
我比你们年长
and I call the shots around here.
这儿我说了算
- Right? - Yes, you do.
-是吗 -对 是的
This is so unfair!
这太不公平了
Come on, guys, let's go have some fun!
走吧 儿子 我们去玩玩
- Ow! You're hurting me. - Oh, you're fine!
-你把我拉疼了 -你没事的
Have fun, guys.
玩的开心点 孩子们
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
走 走 走
So...
How does this usually start?
应该先从什么开始
Good morning, Mr. Pritchett.
普里契特先生 早上好
How you doing, Sport?
你好 你是斯波特吧
I didn't know who that was. I never do.
我不知道那是谁 从来都不知道
At least once a month,
至少每月会有一天
I find a total stranger sitting in my kitchen.
我家厨房里会坐着一位陌生人
Gloria collects every kind of stray
歌洛莉亚收留各种流浪汉
looking for work, money, you name it.
求职的求财的 应有尽有
She's got a big heart.
她有一颗仁善之心
It's the one thing I'd like to change about her.
这是唯一我希望改变她的地方
Hey, a dog. That's new.
哇 狗狗 这个少见
That was Mr. Pritchett.
那就是普里契特先生
Oh, Jay, there you are. Come.
杰 你来啦 过来
I want to introduce you to Guillermo.
我给你介绍一下吉尔莫
Just met him. Really hit it off.
刚见过了 很谈得来
Honey, keep it under a hundred bucks,
亲爱的 预算控制在100美元之内
you don't even have to tell me.
根本连说都不必跟我说
- I'm going golfing. - No.
-我要去打高尔夫了 -不行 等等
He's a very nice man that works at the grocery store
他人很好 在杂货店工作
and needs a little bit of business advice.
需要一些业务咨询
Oh, why didn't you say so?
怎么早不说呢
I thought he was just some nut
我还以为他是住在
who lived behind the dry cleaner's.
干洗店的无赖呢
Oh, that's the guy we bought corrective shoes for last month.
我们上个月帮他矫正鞋那家伙才是
Jay, he knows how successful you are,
杰 他知道你很成功
And all he wants is an hour of your t-- half-hour.
他只是需要你给一小时 或半小时
10 minutes. I promise him!
十分钟 我跟他保证过
Honey, I love you,
亲爱的 我爱你
but why do you drag me into these things?
但是你为什么拉我搀和进去呢
You've got to learn to say no to people.
你要学会拒绝别人
Fine. Ask me if you can go golfing now.
好 那你先问问我让不让你去打高尔夫
Other people.
是拒绝其他人
All I want is, when I go to bed at night,
我想要的不过是 晚上睡觉时
to be laying next to a man that is generous and giving.
身边躺着的是一个慷慨而乐施的男人
And that man doesn't necessarily need to be you.
看来我要换个人躺了
Okay, let's do this.
行 那我们过去吧
Okay. Guillermo!
好的 吉尔莫
Do you want me to move the waste basket closer to you?
需要我把废纸篓放近一点吗
- Oh, no. It's fine where it is. - Really?
-不用了 在哪儿都一样 -是吗
'cause the bed kind of looks like a rose parade float.
但床看上去像花车游行的彩车
Thank you for taking care of me.
谢谢你照顾我
Well, what else would I be doing?
这是应该的
Um, seeing lady gaga, that's what.
当然还应该去看女神卡卡
So, uh, Cam, you know, I hate to bring this up,
小卡 我也不想现在就提这茬
but what are we gonna do about that concert?
但是那演唱会怎么办
What do you mean?
什么意思
Well, you know, we were both looking forward to going.
你知道的 我们都想去看
You were looking forward to going.
你想去看
I was really looking forward to going.
我是真的很想去看
And I just -- I-I hate to see those tickets go to waste.
而且 我不想眼睁睁看着门票浪费了
I know, I know.
我知道 我知道
But what are our options?
那我们还有什么办法吗
We could both go to the concert.
我们可以一起去看演唱会
That's not gonna happen.
还是算了吧
Uh, well, we could sell the tickets online.
我们可以到网上把票卖掉
But there's that craigslist killer.
不过一转手到网上就掉价了
Oh, what to do? What to do?
咋办呢 咋办呢
What to do? What to do? What to do?
咋办呢 咋办呢
Other options, other options.
想办法 想办法
Mitchell, are you hinting
米奇尔 你是在暗示
that you want to go to that concert without me?
你要丢下我独自去看演唱会
No! No! Not in a million years!
不 不 绝不可能
But that's very sweet of you to offer.
但我很欣慰你主动提议
- I didn't offer.- Oh, really?
-我没提议任何事 -真的吗
'cause that just seems like something that you would say
感觉你就应该会说
"You go, I'll be fine.
你去吧 我没事
You spent all the money on the tickets,
你为了买票倾尽所有
And I'm just gonna lie in bed anyways."
我会乖乖躺在床上等你回来的
That's classic Cam.
这才是小卡的作风
- I'm just so weak. - Okay, good.
-我太虚弱了 -好吧 行
You know what? It's settled.
那就这样吧
We're just gonna put this whole
咱们就忘掉
"You insisting I go to the concert without you"
"你坚持要我自己去看演唱会"
thing behind us.
这回事吧
You know what?
其实呢
What?
其实什么
Can I get one of my little pudding cups?
我能吃一小杯布丁吗
Yes, you can. Yes.
可以 当然可以拉
You eat the pudding,
你是欢乐地吃布丁
and I'll eat the tickets.
哥是含泪要吞票
Thanks for your dining, Mr.Pritchett.
多谢您的款待 普里契特先生
But after you hearing my presentation,
但等会你听过我的报告之后
you will be thanking me.
你就会反过来谢我了
Well, you've got confidence. I admire that.
你倒是很自信 这点我很欣赏
He admires that, Guillermo.
他看好你哦 吉尔莫
You're doing great. Keep going.
表现不错 再接再厉
Are you aware that last year,
你是否知道 仅去年一年
Americans spent $40 billion on dog training?
美国人就在驯犬上花费了四百亿美元
Well, that's not true.
压根没这回事
I was surprised as you are.
我和你一样 对此大跌眼镜
No, you were surprised because it's not true.
你跌眼镜是因为压根没这回事
Shh! Go on, Guillermo.
嘘 接着说 吉尔莫
What is this multibillion-dollar industry missing?
这个价值数十亿的产业 究竟缺失了什么呢
Multibillion dollars.
好一个"数十亿"
I have devised a revolutionary way to communicate --
我提出了一个革命性的人犬交互方案...
Listen, I hate to interrupt your big pitch,
听着 我无意打断你的长篇大论
but your dog is chewing my pillow.
但是你的狗狗在啃我家抱枕
This is fantastic.
太妙了
It's not fantastic for my pillow.
对我家枕头来说 一点也不妙
It's a perfect opportunity for me to demonstrate
这是个供我展示"好狗狗坏狗狗"
the good doggie bad doggie training system.
驯犬系统的绝妙机会
- We're in! - Wait, slow down.
-我们一定入股 -等下 慢着
What are we gonna do about the pillow situation?
枕头的问题你打算怎么解决
Watch, and be amazed.
现在就是见证奇迹的时刻
Stella here is being a bad doggie.
斯黛拉现在不乖
Stella, let go. Bad dog, bad dog.
斯黛拉 松口 坏狗狗 坏狗狗
Bad dog. And what does a bad dog get?
坏狗狗 坏狗狗会得到什么呢
A bad-doggie treat.
一块坏狗狗奖励
Wait a minute.
等一下
You give her a treat for doing something bad?
你是奖励她干坏事吗
Ah, a bad-doggie treat.
这是坏狗狗奖励
When she is good, she gets the good-doggie treat.
等她乖了 就能得到好狗狗奖励
Brilliant! We're going to be rich!
天才啊 我们要发啦
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
慢着慢着慢着
What is the difference between a bad-doggie treat
这个坏狗狗好狗狗的奖励
and the good-doggie treat?
究竟有什么区别
Bacon. The bad-doggie treat is very bland.
都是培根 但坏狗狗奖励淡而无味
But she seems like she likes it.
我看她好像挺喜欢吃的
Wait till you see the good-doggie treat.
等看完好狗狗奖励再说吧
Stella, sit.
斯黛拉 坐下
Now a good-doggie treat.
现在是好狗狗奖励
Okay, uh, she's still full from the bad-doggie treat.
好吧 刚才坏狗狗奖励吃撑了
But there you have it --
不过这就是
the good doggie bad doggie training system.
好狗狗坏狗狗驯犬系统
Welcome to the ground floor.
欢迎来到发财之路的开端
Actually, she's peeing on the ground floor.
其实 你的狗正在我家地板尿尿呢
Quick, quick, give her a bad-doggie treat!
快点 快给她一块坏狗狗奖励
Hello?
Hey, it's me. Is this a bad time?
喂 是我 不方便接电话吗
No, I'm just in the car.
没有 我在车里呢
Okay, I'm having a moral dilemma.
好吧 我陷入了良知的挣扎
We have tickets for lady gaga tonight, but Cam's sick.
我们买了女神卡卡今晚演唱会的票 但是小卡病了
I'll take them.
那我去
Wait, you don't even like concerts.
但你根本不喜欢演唱会
Yes, I do. I'm fun now.
我喜欢 我现在是享乐派
Claire, they said we have to be at least 13
克莱尔 他们说要满十三岁
to ride the fast ones.
才能开快车
They're 13. It's fine.
他们满十三了 没事的
This is very confusing.
这可把我整糊涂了
At movie theaters, she says I'm 11.
上次去电影院时 她说我十一岁
- Can we get back to me? - What?
-咱能接着谈我的事吗 -什么
Does it make me a horrible person
如果抛下他去看演唱会
that I kind of want to go without him?
我会不会显得很没人性啊
Well, how sick is he?
他病得有多厉害
I don't know. He's sick.
不好说 就是病了
You know, they're not gonna make a lifetime movie about him.
没到要帮他做回忆录的程度
Well, what's he like when you're sick?
那你生病的时候 他表现得怎样
Cam, I think I can walk to the kitchen.
小卡 我自己能走到厨房
He's okay.
表现还不错
You should go.
那你就去吧
You know what I learned today?
知道我今天学到些什么吗
You can't wait around
想要什么
for somebody to give you something you want.
不能干等着别人给你
Sometimes you just have to take it.
有时你要自己去争取
Oh, I'm gonna feel so guilty, though.
但我会很过意不去的
You'll resent him if you stay.
如果你留下了 你会怨他的
So, how about this -- you stay home
那这样好了 你呆在家
and take care of him -- soup, foot rubs,
照顾他 喂他喝汤 帮他足底按摩
- you blow his nose. - Ew.
-帮他擦鼻子 -好恶心
He's so lucky to have you.
有夫如此 他真是走运
And then tonight, right before the concert, you say,
就今晚在音乐会开始之前 你对他说
"Cam, I love you, but I really want to go."
"小卡 我爱你 但我真的很想去"
He'll say fine.
他会同意的
You drop Lily off at our house, and it's great.
你去时顺便把莉莉放我家 皆大欢喜
Drivers, start your engines.
车手 启动引擎
I'm putting you on speaker.
我把扬声器打开
What are you doing?
你在做什么
Making my kids love me!
让我的孩子们爱上我
Drivers, ready. Three, two, one!
车手 准备 三 二 一
You're going down, Delgado!
你出局啦 迪尔加多
Like this!
尝尝这个
We're finished cleaning the bathroom.
我们把厕所清理干净了
We're leaving.
我们走啦
See? That didn't take too long.
看吧 不会占用你们多长时间
Thank you, girls.
谢谢 姑娘们
Now, go and have a good time, all right?
现在出去 好好玩 知道吗
Bye.
再见
See? You don't need all the conflict.
看吧 你不需跟她们起冲突
Note to Claire -- if you want intense family drama,
提醒克莱尔 如果你想看激烈的家庭戏
rent "Spy kids."
租部《非常小特务》
They save their parents' lives.
他们挽救了父母的生命
You think they would've done that
如果他们整天被父母嚷嚷
if they got yelled at all the time?
你觉得他们还会这么做吗
Sweet and sour chicken!
这俩小妞玩阴的
Girls!
姑娘们
Get back h-- got to fix that step.
回来 得把这楼梯修好
Girls!
姑娘们
Did he just yell?
他刚嚷咱们了
- Drive! - I'm trying!
-快开车 -我在开呢
You girls get back here right now!
你们给我马上回来
Pretend you don't hear him.
假装你什么都没听到
I know you can hear me!
我知道你们听到了
Oh, my god, he's heading straight for the car!
天 他直接朝车奔来了
Oh, my god! Aah!
Stop this car!
停车
- We're sorry, dad! - We couldn't hear you!
-对不起 爸爸 -我们没听到
No more lies!
不许再撒谎
You poked the bear, girls!
姑娘们 你们惹到我了
You poked him!
这是你们自找的
In closing, the only real question is,
最后 真正的问题是
after you invest in good doggie bad doggie,
在你投资了好狗狗坏狗狗后
How will we spend all our money?
我们怎么才能把所有的钱花完呢
In handbags!
买手提包
No, vacation!
不 还是度假好
I know! A home gym!
我知道了 家庭健身房
All right, Guillermo, your ambition is infectious.
好的 吉列莫 你的野心具有传染性
Clearly my wife needs to be inoculated.
显然我妻子需要接种疫苗
But I'm gonna be blunt.
但我还是得坦率的说
- Ay, no, no, you're not going to - Yes, I am.
-不不 你不会是要 -是的 没错
Now, you wanted my honest business advice, right?
你想要听到诚实的商业建议 对吗
- Very much. - Here it is.
-非常想 -那你听着
Your idea is not good.
你的主意不咋的
No, what Jay means is that when --
不 杰是说
No, what I mean is it stinks.
不 我是说这主意太烂了
Now, that's nothing against you.
我不是针对你这个人
You've got charm,
你很帅气
you've got ambition, and that's great.
你有野心 这很棒
What you need is a better idea.
你需要的只是一个更好主意
But I don't have a better idea.
但我没有更好的主意
Any idea would be a better idea.
任何想法都将会是个好主意
Your honesty is refreshing.
你的话真如醍醐灌耳
Gracias.
谢谢
Ay, you made him cry.
你把他弄哭了
He's not crying.
他没哭
You're not crying, are you?
你不是在哭 是吧
No.
A little.
小泣而已
It's just five years of my life are for nothing.
我花费了五年 却一事无成
Five? Five years?
五 五年
Ay, Guillermo, I'm sorry.
吉列莫 对不起
Why don't you stay for lunch?
不如你在这吃个中饭吧
And -- and we can all brainstorm your next idea.
我们可以为你的下个主意出谋划策
Really? Thank you, Gloria.
真的吗 谢谢你 歌洛莉亚
I go put Stella in the car.
我去把斯黛拉放进车里
I don't want her ruining any more of your beautiful things.
我不想她再破坏你家精美的东西
Gracias.
谢谢
Bad dog.
坏狗狗
Why were you so tough with him?
你为什么要对他这么严厉
He's very sensitive.
他很敏感的
Did you think that was a good idea?
你认为那是个好主意吗
Of course not!
当然不是
But I'm nice, and I put on the sugar jacket.
但是我是个好人 我会婉转地说
Sugar coating is not gonna help him.
婉转是帮不了他的
He needed to hear what I said to him,
他需要听进去我对他说的
Even if it hurt a little bit.
即使这话小小的刺伤了他
He's gonna thank me one day.
总有一天他会感谢我的
Ay! Guillermo! Now I have to apologize.
吉列莫 现在我要道歉了
Accepted.
我原谅你
Not to you!
不是对你
What are you gonna get, Luke?
你想要什么 卢克
- I want a cheeseburger. - Yeah!
-我想要起司汉堡 -好的
And I can't decide between french fries or onion rings.
法式薯条和洋葱圈我不知道选哪个
Get them both!
那就都要了
How about you, Manny?
你呢 曼尼
Um, do you have a skinless grilled chicken breast?
你们有去皮的烤鸡胸肉吗
What, are you going to the ball, cinderella?
不是吧 你是要参加舞会吗 灰姑娘
Live a little.
多脂多油才是人生
I know Claire was trying to be fun,
我知道克莱尔在逗趣
but that crossed the line.
但那太过分了
Anything else? Who wants a milkshake?
还要别的吗 要奶昔吗
Milkshake? Milkshake? Three milkshakes.
要吗 要吗 来三份奶昔
I didn't really want a milkshake.
我不想要奶昔
But after what she said to Manny,
但听了她对曼尼说的话后
I didn't want to risk it.
我决定明哲保身
Mom, I don't feel good.
妈妈 我不舒服
Did you finish your milkshake?
你的奶昔喝完了吗
I think that was the problem.
我觉得就是奶昔害的
Look who's a doctor now.
你以为你是医生啊
Maybe it was the pie.
可能是派有问题
Oh, he's fine. Hey.
他没事的
Hey, who likes roller coasters?
你们要玩过山车吗
I need a bag.
我需要一个袋子
No. No, you're not gonna be sick, Luke.
卢克 你不会有事的
We're having fun.
我们玩得正欢呢
Okay.
好吧
No, I really need a bag.
不 我真得需要一个袋子
Take the lid off the cup.
把杯子的盖拿掉
I'm starving.
我饿死了
Me too. Say something.
我也一样 说些什么吧
Um, dad? We haven't had lunch yet.
爸爸 我们午饭还没吃呢
Neither have half the kids in Africa.
非洲的孩子也没东西吃
Stop yapping and get back to work.
不要废话 继续干活
Why is he taping our laptops shut?
他干嘛把我们的笔记本用胶带封上
Because he's out of his mind.
因为他疯了
I'm not out of my mind!
我没疯
You took advantage,and you lost your computer privileges.
你们耍赖那刻起 就失去了用电脑的权利
Oh, come on, dad. We said we're sorry.
爸爸 拜托 我们知道错了
Plus I can't get the stupid drain unclogged, anyway.
而且我真不会疏通下水道
Stick that hanger down there.
用挂钩伸下去
Ew, no!
Well, it's either that or we cut off all your hair,
要么疏通下水道 要么你们剃光头
'cause that's what caused the problem -- thoughts?
因为你们的头发是元凶 怎么样啊
Good, because after you finish this room,
很好 清理完这个房间后
you're gonna clean my bathroom, too,
你们去清理我的卫生间
and you know how gross I can be.
你们还可以知道我有多恶心
Dad! No!
爸爸 不
Oh, my gosh.
天啊
Oh, my gosh!
天啊
- Ew! Gross! - All right.
-真恶心 -好了
Aah! Settle down. It's hair.
淡定 头发而已
Oh, my god.
天啊
I'm not cut out for this.
我不适合做这些
I spent all day nursing Cam.
我一整天都在照顾小卡
Ohh. Hey, could you do the right one now?
可以换右脚了吗
You mean the one we started with? Sure.
是一开始就按过的那只吗 当然可以
I made soup. I made tea.
我煮汤泡茶 做牛做马
Finally, it was the moment of truth.
终于 到了说真心话的关键时刻了
Cam, you know, I was thinking that...
小卡 我想
Cam, you can say no,
小卡 你可以不同意
but I was thinking about maybe going to that concert.
但我想去演唱会
Thank you. You're the best. I love you.
谢谢 你最好了 我爱你
Hey, you're back. What happened with your friend?
你回来了 你的朋友呢
He's fine. You were right.
他还好 你是对的
He did appreciate your honesty.
他很欣赏你的真诚
How about that?
然后怎么样
He's gonna make big changes to his life.
他要改变他的生活
Good.
很好
He's going back to school.
他要回去上学
That means he has to go back to live with his sister,
那就意味着 他要和他姐一起住
so that means that he had to get rid of the dog.
那也意味着 他不能养狗
But he's so much more realistic now.
他现在现实多了
See that? Mm.
看到了吧
And there's a lesson in there for you, too,
顺便也给你上了一课
'cause sometimes things go better when you just say no.
有时候拒绝会让事情会变得更好
No, no, no. What did you do?
不 你做了什么
Ay! He was going to take her to the pound.
他要把它送到动物收留所
But that's his business.
那是他的事
- Ay, but look at her little face! - No.
-看看它的小脸 -不
You don't even want a dog.
你根本不想要狗
I know. I have a problem.
我知道 我在这方面有问题
Oh, crap, that's Manny.
见鬼 曼尼回来了
If he sees the dog, it's all over.
他如果看见这只狗 就完了
I go lock the door.
我去锁门
Oh, and that's the solution?
那可以解决问题吗
Manny sleeps in the backyard till the dog dies of old age?
在这狗老死之前 曼尼都在后院睡吗
Hey, guys. I'm home.
我回来了
Boy, I think Claire's working through some stuff, because --
我觉得克莱尔遇到了一些事情
Oh, my gosh!
天啊
You got me a dog because of my perfect report card?
你们因为我的成绩 奖励我一只狗吗
Gloria?
歌洛莉亚
Sorry, papi, no.
对不起 亲爱的 不是
The dog lives somewhere else,
这只狗要呆在另外一个地方
which is where she's going right now.
现在就要送它过去
- Text me the address. - Okay.
-把地址发给我 -好吧
Can I at least take a moment with her to tell her goodbye?
可以给我一点时间 跟她告别吗
Tell her goodbye? You just met her.
跟她告别 你才见到她
I'm so sorry.
对不起
Luke, honey, come back. I said I was sorry.
卢克 宝贝 回来 对不起
I'm 12. I need limits!
我才十二岁 我需要被人管
What happened?
发生什么事了
Oh, I made them drive too fast
我让他们把卡丁车开得太快了
and eat like vikings,
还让他们吃得跟维京人[海盗]那么多
and then Luke threw up all over the car.
结果卢克吐得满车都是
I got to go clean that up.
我得去清理一下
No, you don't. Girls!
不 不用你清 姑娘们
Grab your buckets and meet me by the car!
拿上你们的水桶 咱们车子那儿见
They don't have to do that.
不用她们干
They do if I say so.
我说了她们就得干
I'm sorry.
真抱歉
I swear I just told you to grab your buckets!
我刚说了拿上你们的水桶
We haven't eaten all day.
我们一整天都没吃东西了
We're hungry.
我们饿了
Well, you won't be in a minute.
你们马上就不饿了
Honey, you haven't fed them all day?
亲爱的 你一整天都没让她们吃饭吗
They're monsters, Claire --
她们就是怪兽 克莱尔
Deceitful, manipulative monsters --
奸猾狡诈又善于耍心机的怪兽
and they need to be broken.
我要让他们改邪归正
He's crazy!
他疯了
You know what?! Mom's the crazy one!
你们知道吗 妈妈才是疯子
She ran over my hand.
她开卡丁车时从我手上碾过去了
We were having fun!
我们当时玩儿的正高兴呢
Girls, go to the kitchen.
姑娘们 到厨房去
Get something to eat.
找点东西吃
Phil, honey, this isn't working.
菲尔 亲爱的 这是行不通的
Listen to me,you are not a good bad cop,
听我说 你不是当坏人的料
and I am a very bad good cop.
而且我当好人也当得很糟糕
We need things to go back to the way they were.
我们得各归其位 各司其职
- Yeah. - Yeah.
-对 -没错
I feel really shaky.
我都浑身发抖了
I don't like being you.
我不喜欢当"你"
Nobody does.
没人喜欢
Going somewhere?
要出门吗
Cam! You're up.
小卡 你起来了
Didn't count on that, did you?
你没料到这点 对吧
Are you dropping lily off at your sister's,
你是要把莉莉放到你姐姐家去
or is she taking my ticket?
还是她帮我去听演唱会啊
Okay, first of all, how are you standing?
好吧 首先 你怎么可能站在这儿
You drank enough of that cough syrup
你喝的那些咳嗽糖浆
to put down a grizzly.
都足够放倒一只可怕的灰熊了
I'll tell you what's grisly.
让我来告诉你什么是可怕吧
That is your behavior.
你的行为
Well, it's just a good thing I'm finding out now,
幸亏我是现在就发现了
instead of when I'm old and sick and really need you.
而不是我老病交加真正需要你的时候
Better start saving for some sort of home-healthcare plan,
我最好现在就开始给家庭健康计划存钱
'cause I'd hate for my broken hip and subsequent pneumonia
免得到时候我受伤的胯骨 或者持续性的肺炎
to interfere with your evening plans.
妨碍到你的夜生活
Okay, Cam, no, you're right.
小卡 不 你是对的
You're right.
你是对的
I have no defense. I am terrible.
我没什么好辩解的 我太糟糕了
And the thing is,I knew I was terrible,
而且关键在于 我知道这样很无耻
and I was going anyway.
可我还是去了
I think maybe I tried to justify it
或许我曾试图劝说自己
by saying we're two different people.
咱们是不同类型的人
And you're more of a caregiver,
你更像是一个无私的奉献者
and I have...other strengths.
而我 则有其它的长处
And that's what makes us such a good couple, you know?
而这才让我们那么登对 知道吗
But...No, no.
但是 不 不是的
It's a cop-out.
这只是我用来逃避的借口
And I've been very selfish,
一直以来我都过分自私
and I need to do better, and I will.
我需要有所长进 而我也一定会的
I swear on Lily's...
我以莉莉的...
...diaper bag.
...尿布袋起誓
Ah, no place to go but up, huh?
除了上去没别的选择了 对吧
Don't look at me like that.
别那么看着我
We all got problems.
家家有本难念的经
This ain't gonna work, sweetie.
这招没用的 宝贝儿
That look ain't gonna work on me. Come on.
你那楚楚可怜的眼神对我无效 来吧
Come on. Let's go.
来吧 咱们走
I know it's old-fashioned, but I like a strong man,
我知道这很老套 不过我喜欢强势的男人
a man that can say no when I can't.
一个可以替我说"不"的男人
Not a word.
什么都别说
But instead, I have Jay.
不过取而代之的 我有杰
I'm strong. But look at this face.
我很强势 不过你看看这张小脸
Maybe we are the way we are
也许我们是因为身边的人
because of the people we're with.
才成为现在的自己
Or maybe we just pick the people we need.
又或许 我们只是挑中了我们需要的人
However it works, when you find each other,
不管是怎样 当你们找到彼此
you should never let go.
就应该永远都不放手
Do you two need some time alone?
你想跟她独处一下吗
I must've dozed off.
我肯定是打了个盹
Yeah, you were out for quite a while.
对 你这个盹打得时间还挺长
What have you been up to?
那你都干什么了
I've just been sitting here, watching you.
我就一直坐在这里 看着你
Well I'm gonna go to bed.
我要去睡觉了
Okay.
好的
Thanks for staying home with me.
谢谢你在家里陪着我
Well, you know,
你懂的
in sickness and in health, right?
无论疾病或是健康嘛[婚誓内容]
You're still blinking, sweetie.
你的荧光棒还在闪呢 甜心
Oh, no. Oh, gosh.
完了 天啊
Well, this is-- this is funny.
那个 这个 真有意思
I'm gonna tell you the funny thing
我得告诉你件有意思的事
about why this is, um-- this is on.
关于为什么这个 这个会亮