摩登家庭 第二季 Modern Family Season 2 第4集: Strangers on a treadmill

上映日期: 2,010

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: Jason Winer

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹


台词
Oh my God, that's so freaking funny.
天啊 真是笑死我了
I know, right?
那是 我写的嘛
What?
你们在笑啥
Dad just wrote another classic one. Tell her.
老爸又出品经典之作 给她讲讲
I don't know about "Classic," but here we go.
"经典"可不敢当 不过笑话是这样的
"If you're looking for a two-story house,"
"如果您想买一幢双层小楼"
[此处story双关"楼层"和"故事"]
"I'm your man."
"那可真找对人了"
"I'll tell you one story before you buy it"
"我会在您付款之前讲第一个故事"
"and then another story after."
"付款之后再讲一个"
No, you didn't!
哈哈 太经典了
Tonight is the S.C.A.R.B..
今晚是S.C.A.R.B.之夜
The Southern California Annual Realtor's Banquet.
南加州房产经纪人年度宴会
I think they know what it is.
我猜他们应该知道这个吧
It's the mother of all
这可是其他所有
residential-real-estate banquets.
住宅地产类宴会的鼻祖
Now, for the last five years, Gil Thorpe has hosted,
过去五年来 这宴会都是吉尔·索普在主持
but as luck would have it,
但凑巧的是
he's having a sketchy-looking polyp remove.
他最近在做一个很恶心的息肉切除手术
["Phil in"套用"fill in" 意为替补上场]
So they've asked me to..."Phil in."
所以他们就来找我说 "菲尔上"
- See what I did? - Oh, yeah.
-你听出笑点没 -当然
"Phil."
"菲尔[同音词Fill]"
You think I should open with that?
我可以用这个作开场白吗
You betcha. You should.
当然了 这还用问吗
Phil is gonna bomb.
菲尔一定会颜面扫地
It's not that he's not fun. He is so fun.
不是说他不幽默 他很自娱自乐
He's just not funny.
只是他的笑话都太冷了
It's probably my fault,
在这一点上我也有责任
because I laugh at all of his jokes.
因为他开口 我必笑
With my mouth not with my eyes.
皮笑肉不笑
"I see the great realtor Margaret Wilson is here,"
"我看到优秀的房产经纪人玛格丽特·威尔逊来了"
"looking more curvaceous than ever."
"看上去比以往更加丰满迷人"
"Talk about your balloon payments."
"说你那一屁股的债呢"
[balloon payment指分期付款中最后一笔较大金额的付款]
Gloria, do we have to keep
歌洛莉亚 我们一定要留着这盘
this Colombia/Brazil soccer game?
哥伦比亚对战巴西的足球赛录像带吗
Yes, I haven't seen it yet.
是滴 我一直都没看完这场
It's been sitting in there for five months.
这录像已经录好五个月了
I mean, I can tell you who wins.
我是说 我可以告诉你谁赢了
And what about this two-hour
那这盘两个小时的
[古董路演] 美国一档电视鉴宝节目
"Antiques roadshow"?
《古董路演》节目录像带又是怎么回事
I'll watch it today.
我今天想把它看掉
Fine. I'm gonna play some golf.
好吧 那我要去打高尔夫了
No. What about Mirabel's daughter's Quinceanera?
不行 你还要参加米拉贝尔的女儿的成年礼呢
I honestly didn't get any of that.
完全不知道你在讲神马
Mirabel. She works for you.
米拉贝尔是你的员工
Okay.
好吧 然后呢
Her daughter, Rosalba, is celebrating her Quinceanera,
她女儿罗莎芭 今晚要举行成人礼
her 15th birthday.
这是她的十五岁生日
She invited us. You just going to ignore it.
她邀请了咱俩 但你完全无视了
Of course not. I get this all the time.
我才没有 我一直都记得这码事
I throw it on my secretary's desk,
我把这事丢给我秘书了
and she sends them an Omaha steak.
她给了他们一份奥马哈牛排当礼物
- Ay, Jay. - What?!
-唉 杰 -咋了
Manny's right.
曼尼说得对
The Quinceanera is very important in the Latin Culture.
女孩的成年礼在拉丁文化中是灰常重要滴
The moment the father dances with his little princess.
作父亲的要带着他的小公主翩翩起舞
Ay, I remember my own father holding my hand.
我还记得我爸爸拉着我滴手跳舞的时候
There wasn't a dry eye in the cartel.
在场滴人无不内牛满面
But these people don't want me there.
但那些人不会欢迎我去参加的
See, they're just being polite.
明白吗 他们只是客气一下
I'm the boss.
我是他们的头儿
That's what you tell yourself
你这是自欺欺人
so you can stay above them.
你就是骑在人民头上作威作福
You just throw them an "Obama" Steak
你就扔给他们一个什么"奥巴马"牛排
and run to the golf course.
然后就打你的高尔夫去了
I'm not trying to stay above them.
我可没有高高在上
I just don't think
我只是不想
I have to go all "arriba, arriba" with them.
去他们那什么"叽里呱啦"的事儿里凑热闹
- Because you're better than them? - No, of course not.
-因为你比他们都强 -当然不是
I mean, I'm better than some of them.
我是说 我只比其中一些人强点而已
Do you even know these people, Jay, hmm?
乃根本都不认识这些人 对不对杰
Or they're just the backs you step on?
还是说他们根本就只是乃的垫脚石
I know you like to make me out as an elitist,
我知道你不肯承认我是一枚杰出人士
but the truth is, I'm close with these people.
但事实上 我相当亲民
Then prove it. Just go to the party.
那就去参加成人礼 证明给我看
Fine. One hour. You drive.
好吧 只去一个小时 你来开车
'Cause I don't want to give my valet ticket to the wrong guy,
因为我怕把泊车卡给错人
have you all over me.
这样你就又能唠叨我了
Ay, Jay.
唉 杰
Where do you keep popping out from?!
你到底都是从哪儿钻出来的
So, Cam has started working out again,
小卡现在又开始健身了
which is -- it's -- it's great.
这是 这真的是件好事
He's feeling good about himself,
瘦身可以让他自我感觉更加良好
and I want him to be healthy,
而我只想让他健健康康的
So it is all good.
所以这本来是天大的好事
Except for one thing.
只可惜有一件事
Knock, knock.
当当当
Look who's there.
看看谁来了
Maybe there's a person in this world
或许世界上真的有人
who looks good in bike shorts.
能把单车热裤穿得好看
But my boyfriend is not that person.
但我男人肯定不是其中之一
And I-I can't tell him because he gets incredibly sensitive
可我不能告诉他 因为但凡影射到他体型
about even the tiniest comment concerning his physique.
哪怕最不经意的一句话都能让他飙从中来
Hey, I think I'm gonna take this spin class tomorrow morning.
嘿 我明天早上想去上一节动感单车课
Oh, sure.
哦 去吧
Oh, I get it. Message received.
哦 好吧 我明白你的意思了
I didn't say anything!
我啥也没说啊
家 庭
摩 登
第二季第四集
Okay, can't you just run like a normal person?
拜托 你就不能像正常人一样跑跑步吗
What? It's troga.
你说啥 我在做跑珈
It's what?
这是啥
You never heard of troga?
你连"跑珈"都木有听过
I hate it when you do that.
我真的很讨厌你这种口气
What?
啥口气
"You've never heard of troga?"
"你连跑珈都不知道吗"
"You never tried octopus?"
"你连章鱼都没尝过吗"
"You never did this amazing thing"
"你就连那么有趣的事都不知道吗"
"I just discovered yesterday
"我也是昨天才知道
but I pretend like I've done my whole life?"
但非得装成自己像是一出生就知道一样"
So, troga is treadmill yoga.
总之 "跑珈"是指在跑步机上做瑜伽
It's de rigueur.
这可是社交之中必备的哦
It's de-dorky.
我看是蠢蛋社交必备吧
What is your deal today?
你今天吃火药了
I'm sorry. Phil is hosting that thing tonight,
不好意思 菲尔今晚要去主持宴会
and -- and he's been writing jokes.
他现在正憋在家里写段子呢
Ooh, yikes.
哎呀
I know.
我就知道
And I'm worried he's gonna humiliateself
我真的很担心
in front of all those important people.
他会在那些大人物面前丢脸
I can't say anything because --
可是我又不能跟他直说
No, no. I get it. I get it. I get it.
不用讲了 我了解了
Because it would hurt him even more coming from you.
因为你的打击会令他倍感沮丧
You know, I'm kind of going through something similar
其实 我和小卡现在的处境
with Cam right now.
跟你俩的有点像
- Why? - He's started exercising again.
-你们咋了 -他又开始健身了
Well, that's good for him.
这是好事呀
Yeah. He's wearing bike shorts.
没错 但他一直穿着单车热裤健身
That's bad for you.
你肯定很郁闷
And I'm the last person who can say anything,
而我又是最不能跟他说实话的那个人
- because he's... - Yeah.
-因为他实在 -我懂
Okay, wait. No, no. All right.
诶 等等 不是 我有主意了
You know the movie "Strangers On A Train"?
你看过电影《火车怪客》吗
电影《火车怪客》为希区柯克1951年导演的悬疑片
Hm, I never saw it.
呃 我没看过
You've never seen "Strangers On A --"
你连《火车怪客》都没...
I'm sorry. Great film.
我错了 牛片
But it's these guys
片中有两个人
who both discover that they want someone out of their lives.
都想杀死自己身边的某人
So one of the guys proposes the perfect crime.
然后其中一个人想了一个完美的杀人计划
They will do each other's murders.
他们去替对方杀人
We should do that.
我们也应该这样做
All right,
好吧 你是说
so I would tell Cam to lose the bike shorts?
由我来告诉小卡丢掉那条蠢裤子
Keeping me out of it.
假装跟我无关
And I tell Phil to lose the jokes.
我去弄停菲尔的笑话
I like it. I'm in.
我喜欢这主意 我加入
- All right!- I am in!
-太好了 -我加入
Hey, Mackenzie. Stop it. It's Alex.
嘿 麦肯齐 等等 我是艾丽克斯
Hey, so I was thinking later we'd --
我想我们等会
Oh, no. Whatever you want.
不用 你想怎样都行
Call me later!
等会儿打给我
Or I'll call you later, or --
或者我等会打给你 或者
So, who's Mackenzie?
麦肯齐是谁
You don't know her.
你不认识她
Oh, I know Mackenzie.
我当然知道麦肯齐
Cute. Popular.
漂亮 受人欢迎
I am Mackenzie.
我就是麦肯齐
I invented Mackenzie.
我简直就是麦肯齐的鼻祖
And the way she's making my sister run around...
而她把我妹耍的团团转的样子
It's -- it's kind of funny, but...
还真蛮好玩的 不过
I can't have it. It's bad for the family.
我受不了 家人为重
What are you doing? I was about to call --
你干嘛呢 我正要打电话给
Mackenzie? Yeah, I know.
麦肯齐 我知道
Now shut up and let me help you.
现在闭上你的嘴 让我来帮你
The world is divided into two groups --
这个世界有两种人
cool girls and girls like you.
酷女孩儿和像你这样的女孩儿
And you have been given a rare opportunity
而你正有一个千载难逢的机会
to move from the former to the latter.
能够从前者变为后者
The latter to the former.
是从后者变为前者吧
Whatever. Oh, my god. You're such a geek.
管它呢 天啊 你还真够二的
Now, do you want to be smart, or do you want to be popular?
你现在是想要聪明还是要受人欢迎
I think I want to be popular.
我想要受人欢迎
Of course you do.
你当然想啦
You just can't be so obvious about it.
但你不能表现的太明显
You've given Mackenzie way too much power,
你给麦肯齐太多主动权了
and you need to take some of that power back.
你自己得拽起来
It's her.
是她的
Give me the phone.
把电话给我
Here's what you're gonna say --
你就这么说
"Hey, Mackenzie. I'm busy. Call me back later."
麦肯齐 我很忙 等会儿你再打来
- Then you hang up.- No way!
-然后你就挂断 -绝对不行
Then you're not getting the phone back.
那你就再也拿不回这手机了
Just give it to me.
把它给我
"Hey, Mackenzie. I'm busy.
麦肯齐 我很忙
Call me back later." Then you hang up.
等会儿你再打来 然后你就挂断
- I can't. - Do it.
-我做不到 -就这么做
- No! - Do it!
-不行 - 就这么做
Okay! Damn you.
好吧 去你的
Hey, Mackenzie. I'm busy. Call me back later.
麦肯齐 我很忙 等会儿你再打来
That was hard.
太难了
If it was easy, everyone would be popular.
要是容易的话 谁都能受人欢迎了
Knock knock!
有人敲门啦
Come on in! It's open!
进来吧 门没关
I just wanted to drop off these old baby clothes for Lily.
我带了些旧的童装来给莉莉
Oh, that's right. You're so sweet.
好的 你人太好了
I hope I didn't come at a bad time.
我希望自己来的别不是时候
Not at all.
一点也不
I was just deciding where to take Lily for our bike ride --
我正考虑要带莉莉去哪儿骑车呢
The lake or the park.
湖边还是公园
I'm leaning towards the park.
我比较倾向于去公园
I can see that.
我看得出来
You didn't have to do that.
你太客气了
You guys are a touch old class.
你们还真是传统
- Well, it is a big night for you, so. - French.
-今晚对你很重要 -法国红酒
Those guys.
这些家伙啊
So, have you given any thought to what you might say?
那你想好要说什么了吗
Oh, actually, I'm trying not to think about my act right now.
事实上 我现在正努力不让自己想这事
I'm kind of fighting the old butterflies, to be honest.
说实话 我内心有点挣扎
That's normal.
很正常
I hear The Jonas Brothers get scared before every concert.
我听说乔纳斯兄弟在每次演出前都会害怕
Not Kevin? The guy's a rock.
凯文不会的吧 那家伙可牛叉了
Especially Kevin.
尤其是凯文
I can't believe I ever bought this for Alex.
我真不敢相信我居然给艾丽克斯买过这个
I wish somebody had said something.
我真希望当时有人能说点什么
Oh, come on. That was probably cute 10 years ago.
别这样啦 这衣服十年前可能很可爱呢
No, no. It never was.
不 不 从来没有
And you know --
你知道的
I'm the exact same way about my clothes.
我的衣服也是这样
Most of the time, great.
大多数时候 很不错
But every now and again, there's that one outfit.
不过时不时的就会有那么一件例外
I just wish somebody would be honest with me and say,
我真希望当时有人能对我实话实说
"What you're wearing is inappropriate."
你的穿着实在是雷人哇
Do you know what I mean?
你懂我意思吗
I think I do, Claire.
我懂 克莱尔
I think I do.
我懂
And my answer is yes.
我的回答是没问题
Okay.
好的
I would love to dress you.
我愿意给你打扮
No, it -- I don't want you to dress me.
不 我不想要你来帮我打扮
No.
不用
And...I owe it to you to be honest,
我觉得我该对你坦白
so I'm just gonna say
所以我要说
that you need to lose the bicycle shorts.
你得丢掉这条单车短裤
Excuse me?
你说什么
They're not working for you, Cam.
小卡 它不适合你
Please don't take this personally.
我不是在针对你
I mean, nobody looks good in bike shorts.
我是说 没人穿单车短裤好看的
I just -- I feel that I owe it to you to be honest.
我只是 我觉得我应该对你坦白
So, we're good, right?
这么说 我们还是好朋友 对吧
- We're great. - We're great.
-我们非常要好 -我们非常要好
- We're great. - Oh, great.
-我们非常要好 -太好了
Okay.
好吧
You should probably just show yourself out.
或许你应该穿自己的衣 让别人去说吧
I hear -- I hear some crying down the hallway.
我听见 我听见走廊上有哭声
Look at that. That's a good dad.
瞧 真是个好父亲
Because you've got a baby,
因为有了孩子
and you hear every little sound.
所以一丁点儿小的声音你都能听到
I wouldn't have -- I wouldn't have even noticed...
要是我的话 我根本就不会注意到
crying.
有哭声
Uh, okay. All right.
好了
All you need to know about this one
你们需要知道的是
is that Skip Woosnum is a well-known realtor
斯基普·乌森是个著名的房产经纪人
and he's old.
而且很老了
Got it.
收到
Skip Woosnum. Realtor. Old.
斯基普·乌森 房产经纪人 老的
Here we go.
开始了
I'm not saying realtor Skip Woosnum is old,
我不是要说斯基普·乌森已经老了
but the first property he ever sold...
不过他卖出去的第一件物业
was a cave.
居然是个洞穴
You're not, uh...
你没有
not laughing.
没有笑
Why aren't you laughing, uncle Mitchell?
你怎么不笑 米奇尔叔叔
'cause he doesn't think it's funny,
因为他觉得不好笑
or maybe -- maybe you don't think I'm funny.
或者可能你觉得我并不搞笑
Is that what you're saying, Mitch?
你是要说这些吗 米奇
No, it's...
不是
I just got it!
我懂了 我懂了
Oh. Cave!
洞穴
- That one's kind of a thinker. - Yes!
-这个是需要点脑力 -没错没错
There he is.
他也来了
All right, now.
好了
Knock it off, Jay.
少来了 杰
You don't know anyone's name here.
这儿你一个人的名字都叫不出来
Are you kidding me?
你开什么玩笑
Carlos!
卡洛斯
Lucky guess.
运气不错
I'm lucky only one turned around.
还好只有一个人回头
Listen -- I need a favor.
听着 我需要帮助
I overestimated the number of people I know at this party.
我高估了这个派对上我认识的人数
So you go around, introduce yourself,
你去到处转转 做做自我介绍
and I'll hear the names.
我就在旁边偷听他们叫什么
You realize you're asking me
你知道你是在叫我
to help prove my own mother wrong.
帮你证明我亲妈是错的
I'll pay two bucks per introduction.
你每介绍一次 我就给你两美金
All right, well, that's Ramona.
好吧 那是拉蒙纳
She's crazy for bingo.
她狂爱饮烈酒
Ramona.
拉蒙纳
隔壁在干吗
是成人礼
又是成人礼
这个不是成人礼
这是订婚派对 看
Gloria!
歌洛莉亚
Stop being such a snob.
别那么不合群了
Come over and meet my friend Julio and his wife --
过来见见我的朋友夏利奥和他的太太
uh, I'm sorry. Your name again?
对不起 你说你叫什么
Kay?
I think you're really gonna hit it off with Kay!
我觉得你跟凯会很合得来的
I mean, she's gonna tell me how to dress?!
我是说 她要教我怎么打扮吗
She ought to stick to things she knows more about,
她应该干点她更擅长的
like overcooking salmon.
像是怎么把三文鱼烤焦
Okay, wait.
好吧 等等
So, she actually said
那么 她真的跟你说
that you don't look good in bicycle shorts?
你穿单车裤不好看吗
Yes.
是的
"You don't look good in bicycle shorts".
你穿单车裤不好看
Madness.
疯了
Oh, and here she is.
是她
Okay, you know what? I can't be here.
好吧 我不能在这待着了
I'm -- I'm going out for some air.
我要 我要出去透透气
Yes. Yes, go. This -- this could get ugly.
好的 去吧 我也许会跟她吵起来
Hello, Claire.
你好 克莱尔
You are a gutless weasel.
你这个没种的家伙
Oh, yeah. No.
是的 不
I heard what you said to my boyfriend.
我知道你跟我男人说了什么
You told Phil he was hysterical!
你跟菲尔说他超搞笑的
You said he was this generation's Richard Pryor!
你说他是新一代的理查德·普赖尔
理查德·普赖尔 四十年代黑人喜剧演员
Well, I am not the one that you need to apologize to.
你该道歉的人不是我
What are you babbling about? You owe me a murder.
你在胡说什么 你欠我一个谋杀
Okay, Claire, I c -- I couldn't do it.
好吧 克莱尔 我做不来
I couldn't crush Phil's dreams.
我没办法打破菲尔的美梦
We had a deal. I told Cam about the bike shorts.
我们说好了的 我跟小卡说单车裤的事
No! No!
不 不
The deal was to get Cam to take off the bike shorts.
我们说好的是 你让小卡脱掉那条热裤
But guess what -- he is still in the stupid bike shorts.
可结果呢 他还穿着那条愚蠢的单车热裤
Can I call you back?
我待会打回给你好吗
Turns out Cam was here the whole time,
小卡原来一直都在
and he just heard everything I said.
他听到了我说的话
Ooh. Did he just run into the bedroom and cry?
他跑到卧室里哭去了吗
Oh, yes, 'cause that's what all gay men do.
是啊 你以为所有基佬都这样吗
We all dissolve into --
我们都如此软弱
Yes. That is what he did.
好吧 他还真就这么做了
There are challenging moments in every marriage.
每段婚姻都有一些挑战
Um...having to tell your husband that he's not funny
为了你丈夫不在众人面前出丑
so that he won't humiliate himself
而必须告诉他 他其实一点也不搞笑
has to be one of the toughest.
这绝对是最难的挑战之一了
So I went a different way.
于是我就换了种方式
Stop talking.
别再说了
I just need some time for this wound to become a scar.
我只是需要时间来让这个伤口结疤
I'm sorry I got Claire involved,
对不起我把克莱尔也扯了进来
But -- and this is not a criticism,
但是 我不是想批评你
but sometimes you can be a little sensitive
但是有时候你对你的外型
about your...appearance.
太过于敏感了
Well, this is a criticism --
这就是批评
sometimes you can be insensitive about everything.
有时你对所有事情都太不敏感了
I just can't -- I just feel like
我只是觉得 我们的感情足够坚固
our relationship's strong enough to survive a little candor.
经得起一点坦诚的考验
I mean, look, you could tell me
如果我有什么让你不满意的
if there's something about me you'd like to change.
你就可以直说
I hate your beard.
我讨厌你的胡子
Well, you had that bullet in the chamber.
你还留了这么一手
I never said anything because I never wanted to hurt you...
我从来没说过 是因为我不想伤害你
but I've always found your beard off-putting.
但是我一直觉得你的胡子很烦人
See? Hurts.
是吧 小心脏疼死了吧
Mitchell?
米奇尔
Mitchell, get back here!
米奇尔 回来
What are you doing?
你在干吗
I'm shaving off the beard.
我要把胡子剃了
Seriously?
你认真的吗
Yeah, well, the man I love doesn't like it, so off it goes.
当然 我家男人不喜欢 那就剃掉
Well, good.
-Good. - Great.
-好的 -很好
Great. Okay.
很好 那好
One...
two...
three.
Wait!
住手
The fact that you're willing to do it is enough for me.
对我来说 你肯这么做已经足够了
I love your beard.
我爱你的胡子
I love that when you drink cappuccino, you get foam in it
我喜欢你喝卡布奇诺时 会沾上奶油
and when you're nervous, your little...
还有你紧张的时候
hairs twitch.
你的小胡子会抖
Well, you couldn't have told me before took a notch out?
你就不能在我刮掉这块之前说吗
I'm sorry. I -- I -- listen.
对不起 听着
I know... I can be touchy about... this.
我知道 我对于这个 有些太敏感
But you're this amazing-looking guy, and --
但是你是个超级大帅哥
I am not amazing -
我不帅
Really?
是实话吗
I wouldn't change anything.
我不想改变你的任何一点
You should know that every day,
你要知道我每天醒来
I wake up very grateful to have you in my life.
都因为我的生命中有你而心怀感激
I'm the one who got lucky, handsome.
我才是幸运儿 帅哥
Maybe I just don't show it enough.
也许是我表达的不够
[米奇尔以为是帮他刮腋毛]
Well, you can make it up to me by doing my shoulders.
你可以服务一下我的肩膀作为补偿
Sure.
当然
I meant a massage. What are you saying?
我是指按摩 你在想什么
Oh, Mitchell. Mitchell.
米奇尔 米奇尔
It's Mackenzie.
是麦肯齐
Again.
又是她
She wants me to come to this party she's throwing.
她想让我参加她办的派对
She texted me earlier.
她之前发过短信给我
You texted her back, right?
你回她短信了 对吧
No.
才没有
I'm...
我感到
proud?
孺子可教也
- Tell her you'll try and come. - Right.
-跟她说你会尽量抽时间去 -好
And then when she says --
然后等她说
Haley...
海莉
I got this.
我知道怎么做
Who's this?
你是哪位
Brilliant.
干的漂亮
No, I didn't see it. I get a lot of texts.
不 我没看到 我短信太多了
I have a sister.
果然是姐妹
When's the party?
派对是什么时候
I'll try and come.
我会尽量抽空去
You know, I'm kind of busy. I have a life.
你知道我很忙的 我有自己的生活
You know, stuff.
有很多事做
Homework.
还有作业
Uh-oh.
完了
I mean, not homework.
我是说 作业算什么
It's not work if you love it.
对于爱学习的人来说 算什么呀
Oh, god. Hang up. Hang up.
天啊 挂掉 挂掉
Shut up!
闭嘴
Not you, Mackenzie.
没说你 麦肯齐
Drop the phone and kick it over here!
赶紧把电话扔地上踢过来
Um, I have to go.
我得挂电话了
I-I'll call you later.
晚点我再打给你
Or you call me later.
或者你打给人家也行
Love you!
爱你
Aah! Aah!
发花痴
Aah! Aah!
跟着发花痴
They were right in here!
刚才还在呢
I know, and we looked everywhere, honey,
我知道 我们哪都找遍了
so just calm down.
要淡定
Are you kidding me? "Calm down"?
淡定皆浮云
In one minute,
一分钟后
I'm gonna be standing up there like...
我就要上台了 就像一个
like a...
像个
Oh, my God. I have no material at all.
天哪 我词穷了
Okay. You're gonna be fine. You don't need jokes.
没事 你一定行的 你不需要准备笑话的
Listen to me, honey.
听我说 亲爱的
Get up there. Be your charming self.
走上台去 展现自己迷人的那面
Make the introductions from your heart, and get out.
发自肺腑地来个自我介绍
You're gonna -- You're gonna be amazing, okay?
你会表现得很犀利的 好吗
Phil Dunphy.
菲尔·邓菲
Go. Go.
上吧 上吧
Good evening.
各位晚上好
I would not be here tonight
我今天之所以
if not for the hard work
能够站在这里讲话
of the S.C.A.R.B. Board of trustees...
多亏了南加州房产经纪人董事会的大力支持
I didn't have my jokes.
我的笑话没了
What choice does a guy have but to play it straight?
除了直抒胸意以外还有别的选择吗
...the support of my family,
来自家庭的支持
and Gil Thorpe's colon.
以及吉尔·索普的结肠
But Phil Dunphy is no straight guy.
不过菲尔·邓菲可不是那种直抒胸意的人
So many giants of residential real estate here tonight.
今晚在坐的有这么多地产业的巨匠
And, of course, J.J. McCubbin.
当然 还有小小麦克宾
I'm not saying J.J. is small,
我不是说小小麦个头矮小
but in the realty section, he was described as "Charming."
但在房地产业界 他被描述为犀利哥
Mark Simon, you out there?
马克·西蒙 你在吗
There's Mark. How are you, buddy?
马克在那 你好吗 伙计
[双关 马克最近搞上了一个嫩模]
Mark recently moved into a new model.
马克最近住进了一套新的样板房
How are you, Francine?
过得如何 家庭妇男
I kid, Mark Simon. I kid, Mark Simon.
我开玩笑的 马克·西蒙
You know that.
你懂的
Trancito, Little Manuel, and Carlos, my wife, Gloria.
特兰西科 小马努 还有卡洛斯 这是我妻子歌洛莉亚
Nice to meet you.
幸会
We have to talk.
我们得谈谈
Un momento.
失陪下
Mm.
好的
You know, I --
我知道吗 我
I can't believe you never met them.
真不敢相信你完全没印象
You've never met any of these people.
你从没接触过这里的任何人
You don't know anyone in this room.
这房间所有的人你都不认识
Vamos, Jay.
走吧 杰
I'm not leaving before the father/daughter dance.
要走也要在父女共舞后再走
And "These people," As you call them,
此外 你所谓的这些人
are not just employees.
不仅仅是雇员
They're mi familia, or "My family."
是个大家庭 或者称为家人
I know what "Mi familia" is, Jay.
我懂我的母语 杰
Oh, I was afraid of this.
他说的我可听不懂
此时此刻 有请准新郎上台
No. Jay. No.
别去 杰
Thank you. Thank you.
谢谢你
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you very much.
女士们先生们 非常感谢你们
I'm gonna make this brief.
我简单说几句
I know a lot of you out there don't even know who I am.
我知道你们中的大部分人甚至不知道我是谁
As my lovely wife, Gloria, pointed out,
正如我的爱妻歌洛莉亚所指出的那样
That's my fault, not yours.
错不在你们 在我
I'm Jay Pritchett,
我是杰·普里契特
El jefe.
你们的老板
Listen -- on this very, very happy occasion,
听着 在如此欢乐的时刻
I'd like to pick up the tab on the bar.
今天我请客
You know, when I started this company...
你们知道吗 在我建立公司之初
...the first thing that I --
我所 的第一件事
What?
怎么
Oh, right. Right, now. Good. Yeah.
对了 很好 是的 现在
This is not about me.
今晚我不是主角
This is about a very special young lady
主角是一位非常出众的年轻女士
And the man who loves her more than anyone else on earth.
以及一位世上最爱她的男人
Isn't that lovely?
多温馨啊
That's a beautiful, beautiful thing.
那是件多有爱的事情啊
You know, I'm reminded
你们知道吗 这让我想起了
of when I used to dance with my little girl.
当初我和我的小宝贝一起跳舞
But not like that.
不过不是像这样
Slow down, there, muchacho.
悠着点 男孩
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
别别别别别昏昏昏昏昏昏
What, are you applauding this? You're applauding this?
难道你们在为此喝彩吗 你们在为此鼓掌吗
I don't care what kind of tradition this is.
我才不管这是哪门子传统
This is gonna stop. Hey, hey, hey, hey. No!
给我停下 听到没 停下
No! What? What? Am I the only one seeing this?!
什么 难道只有我目睹这一幕吗
V-v-vamos!
我们
I mean, honey, I am not kidding when I tell you
亲爱的 我很认真的告诉过你
There was a woman next to me gasping for breath.
坐在我旁边的那个女人都笑岔气了
Seriously, you were so freaking funny, Phil.
真的 菲尔 你太搞笑了
I have seen professional comedians
我有看过专业喜剧演员的演出
Who could never have done that.
也没有如此笑开了锅
You were unbeliev--
你真是一直被模仿 从未被超越啊
I know it was you, Claire. You stole my index cards.
我知道是你拿走了我的索引卡片 克莱尔
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
对不起 真的对不起
I thought I was protecting you.
我以为我是在保护你
And if my plan had been successful,
如果我的计划成功的话
I would have robbed you of the greatest night ever.
那我就夺走了你今夜的辉煌了
I'm sorry I'm awful.
对不起 我真讨厌
You're not awful.
才没呢
Mm...
是吗
Claire...
克莱尔
I love that you're looking out for me,
我就爱你处处为我着想这点
and know why you worry about me.
也知道你为什么要担心我
But I knew I had this tonight.
但我对今晚早就胸有成竹了
I know.
我知道了
Sometimes I just think my job
只是有的时候我觉得
Is to make sure you guys don't fall on your faces.
我的工作就是防止邓家人栽跟头
That's a hard job in the Dunphy house.
这对邓菲家族的人来说可不是件容易事儿
We fall a lot.
我们丢人是常事
I know.
我知道
Maybe your real job is to be the person who picks us back up.
也许你真正的工作是给予安慰 重树我们的信心
Nobody does that better than you.
这方面没人比你更在行了
Thank you.
谢谢夸奖
Alex.
艾丽克斯
I have no friends.
我没有朋友
You're on the clock.
该你出马了
All right.
好吧
What happened?
出什么事情了
Oh, my gosh, mom. You're killing me.
我的天哪 老妈 笑死我了
It's pretty good, right?
很好笑 对吧
Pretty good? You could be, like, in Vegas.
好笑 你都可以去拉斯维加斯
Well...
好吧
W-w-what's going on there?
这神马情况
Mom does the funniest impression
老妈刚给我模仿了下
Of that weird lady at the supermarket.
那天在超市碰到的怪阿姨
Oh, yeah. I know her. Let's hear it.
我认识她 说来听听
Okay. Um...
好的
"It's cheaper
如果你买两罐泡菜的话
if you buy two jars of pickles."
会更便宜
It's like she's right here!
简直活灵活现
I know! Yeah.
我懂了
So like she's right here! I know.
听起来就像原景再现似的
That's not what she sounds like.
其实一点都不像