摩登家庭 第二季 Modern Family Season 2 第9集: Mother Tucker

上映日期: 2,010

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: Jason Winer

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹


台词
So the rate of diffusion equals something
所以说 扩散率等于什么鬼
times the square root of...something...
乘以什么鬼的平方根
I give up.
我放弃了
Aw, so close.
就快了嘛
Shut up.
给姐闭嘴
Hey, don't worry. You'll get it.
别着急 你能学会的
You know, a lot of famous scientists are women.
其实很多著名的科学家都是女人
They're fat, though, right?
但都是肥婆 对吧
Come on, Alex. It's time for your cello lesson.
走吧 艾丽克斯 要去上大提琴课了
How's the tutoring going?
辅导得怎么样了
Are you familiar with the term
你听说过这么一句话吗
"throwing good money after bad"?
"赔了夫人又折兵"
Are you familiar with the term
你听说过这么一句话吗
"Dunphy, party of one"?
"邓菲小姐 孤独终老"
- Because you will be. - Girls.
-这就是你的下场 -姑娘们
Haley's coming along really well, Mrs. Dunphy.
海莉其实学得不错 邓菲夫人
Good. Good.
很好 很好
Well, the key is to take a lot of little breaks
关键是你要时不时地歇一下
so you don't get frustrated and want to quit.
这样你就不会郁闷得想要放弃了
Got it.
明白
I was talking to David.
我是在和戴维说
Come on, sweetie.
走吧 宝贝儿
I'm just saying -- she's never gonna get a job,
我只是说 她以后肯定找不到工作
and how do we know the right middle-eastern businessman
不过没准她能傍上某个中东富豪
wouldn't treat her great?
对她很好呢
I left my shopping list inside.
我把购物清单落家了
For the record, we thought she could live with you.
告诉你 我们计划让她以后跟你蹭吃蹭喝
Like I'm gonna tell any of you where I live.
你们别指望能找得到我
Haley!
海莉
What?
怎么了
We only do this when I get one right.
我做对题以后才有得亲呢
Momma should be here by now.
妈咪早该到了
I wonder what's keeping her.
不会出啥岔子了吧
Well, Cam, that depends. Did she take her jalopy
小卡 这就要看她是开那辆老破车来呢
or one of them new fancy flyin' machines?
还是开什么新式小灰机呢
You know, Missouri is more cosmopolitan
呸 人家密苏里州
than you give it credit for, Mitchell.
比你说的要现代化得多 米奇尔
It's got a very vibrant cowboy-poetry scene.
充满了活灵活现的牛仔田园风情
I'm not sure you're making the point that you think --
你上下两句话都不是同一个意思诶
That's her. Come on. Look alive. Look alive.
她来了 过来 热情点 热情点
Momma!
妈咪
Oh, my baby!
小心肝宝贝儿
Oh, my little bomber. Puppy kiss.
亲亲小淘气 过来香一个
Mitchell, get over here!
米奇尔 快过来啦
Aah, hey, Barb!
巴布 你好吗
Oh, my baby's baby! How are you?
我宝贝的宝贝 你好吗
Well, I don't want to overstate this,
不是我自吹自擂
but my mom is the greatest woman that ever lived.
不过我妈是世界上最棒的女人
Cam loves his mom.
小卡爱死他妈了
She raised 4 kids, 2 barns,
她一人养活了四个娃 俩农场
and a whole lot of hell.
还有很多其它乱七八糟的
Well, that sounds like a country song.
听着跟乡村歌曲似的
And that song would be called
没错 歌名就是
"The Greatest Woman that ever Lived".
"世界上最棒的女人"
Cam loves his mom.
小卡爱死他妈了
From the minute I met Barb,
从我第一次见到巴布起
she has been open and loving and -- and caring.
她就一直开明 热情 并且体贴
Oh, I have missed these shoulders!
我想死你这对小肩膀了
If I had one complaint --
不过要是我有任何意见的话
and I do --
说起来我还真有个意见
it's the...inappropriate putting of her hands on my body.
那就是 她老对我动手动脚
Hey, Barb. I got you the cranberries you wanted for the stuffing.
巴布 我买了你做馅要用的小红莓
Oh, bless your heart.
你太贴心啦
Let me get in there and help ya.
我来帮你吧
And a horsey bite.
捏捏更健康
This is how I like to cuddle.
我好喜欢这样粘在一起哦
It's been -- it's been going on a long time.
这个现象已经 已经有些日子了
Jay, you want to go to the mall with me?
杰 陪我去逛商场吧
No, actually, my stomach's a little funny today.
不了 我今天胃有点不舒服
Oh, I am so sorry, papi.
这可不得了呀 小宝贝
Maybe we'll stop first at the crib store,
要不咱先买个婴儿床
and you lay down, and I buy you a little dress, huh?
把你放进去 再配条小裙子 好不
Gloria thinks Americans are babies.
歌洛莉亚觉得我们美国人都很娇气
Well, in Colombia, we couldn't go running to the hospital
在俺们哥伦比亚 像是小感冒
for every little sniffle or dislocated shoulder.
或者肩膀脱臼什么的 根本用不着去医院
Okay. Good.
好咧 搞定
5-6. I serve. Huh?
五比六 我发球 对吧
Jay, what are your symptoms?
杰 你都有什么症状
Nausea, bloating?
恶心 腹胀吗
Manny, what did I say about getting off
曼尼 我不是跟你说
that crazy doctor website?
少上那个医疗网站吗
I'm just worried about Jay.
我只是担心杰
Stomach pains can mean a lot of things --
胃痛可能是多种疾病的征兆
intestinal blockage...
像是肠梗阻
Do you have a fever?
你发烧吗
Stop it! Manny, he's fine.
够了 曼尼 他好着呢
- Tell him you're fine. - I'm fine.
-跟他说你好着呢 -我好着呢
Okay, good. Get in the car.
很好 上车去吧
Uh, home fine, not mall fine.
在家没事 逛街就得发病
Jay, you know what happens when I shop angry.
杰 你知道我生着气去逛街的后果
I'll clear a space.
我会帮你挪出地儿来的
I'm not loving your color.
我看你脸色蜡黄
Go play.
一边儿玩去
Don't be a hero.
别逞强哦
So, dumb guys go for dumb girls,
弱智男配弱智女
and smart guys go for dumb girls?
聪明男也要配弱智女吗
What do the smart girls get?
那聪明女配谁
Cats mostly.
配猫吧
So, Haley, how long have I been paying this guy
海莉 我为你们俩的胡搞
to make out with you?
买单多久了
Uh, about a week.
大概一个礼拜了吧
First it was just to shut him up,
我一开始亲他只是想让他闭嘴
but now I'm starting to like him.
不过现在我真有点动心了
If you really like him, though,
你要是真喜欢他
you have to break up with Dylan.
就赶紧把迪兰甩了
What? No!
什么 不要啊
Believe me --
相信我
and it's best for everybody if you just do it quickly.
早死早超生
I can't believe we're having this conversation.
真不敢相信你们居然这样说
He's like part of the family.
他就像自家人一样
Trust me -- it's the right thing to do.
相信我 这是百利而无一害
Just end it.
赶紧把他甩了吧
Okay, but be gentle.
好吧 但是要温柔点
Boys are surprisingly sensitive at that age.
青春期的男孩都很敏感的
Water-polo-girl story.
又来了 水球女的故事
Yes, I'm gonna tell the water-polo-girl story,
没错 我就要讲水球女的故事
'cause it hurt!
因为人家真的很伤心
Okay, so I'm working in the principal's office.
那时候我在校长办公室工作
She walks in,
她就那么走进来
hair all silver from the chlorine...
头发因刚游完泳而闪闪发亮
tells me she wants her varsity jacket back.
她说她想把棒球外套拿回去
I tear up a little,
我一听这个眼睛就湿了
then I tear up a lot.
接着嚎啕大哭
I'm begging, I'm begging --
我求她 求她不要这样对我
at some point I realize
结果我突然发现
I'm sitting on the button
我屁股底下坐着的是
to the high-school intercom system.
全校广播的开关
Yuk it up, ladies.
不许笑
Wasn't funny then, is not funny now.
从前不好笑 现在更不好笑
It was traumatic, Haley.
那完全就是杯具啊 海莉
Don't do Dylan like Linda "the cannon" Concannon did me.
不要像"大炮"琳达对我那样对待迪兰
Oh, honey...
亲爱的
that was a long time ago.
都过去那么久了
I loved her.
我真的爱过她
Okay. I know.
好吧 我知道了
You know what?
你知道吗
Maybe I'll call Dylan after he talks to Haley.
也许海莉跟迪兰分手以后 我可以打给他聊聊
He's gonna need someone to lean on.
他肯定需要找个人来依靠一下
But that someone should not be his ex-girlfriend's father.
但那个人不该是他前女友的老爸
Honey, when Dylan is out of her life,
亲爱的 迪兰跟海莉分手以后
he should be out of ours.
就应该跟咱们都分手
You've always hated Dylan.
你一向讨厌迪兰
I have not always hated Dylan.
我没有一向讨厌迪兰
I have always thought that Haley could do better.
我只是一向认为海莉可以找个更好的
Plus, the new boyfriend is so smart.
再说 这个新男友超聪明呢
It's done. We broke up.
搞掂了 我们分手了
What?!
什么
I texted Dylan. It's over.
我发了短信给迪兰 分了
I'll bet that's him.
肯定是他
Sad-face emoticon!
哭丧着脸的表情
You can feel the hurt through the phone!
透过电话都知道他有多伤心
Cam's mom's been half of the dinner with her hands
吃晚餐时 小卡的妈妈有一半的时间
all over me.
都在对我上下其手
It was like she was blind
就好像她是个瞎子
and wanted to know what my thighs looked like.
然后想知道我的大腿长什么样
Are you sure?
你确定吗
I mean, are you really the best judge of this kind of a thing?
你对这种事情真的有评论权吗
You've had boundary issues since you were a kid.
你从小就对界限模糊
I have not!
我才没有
Okay. Sorry. My mistake.
好吧 对不起 是我的错
Must be Cam's mom...her issues.
肯定是小卡母亲的错 是她有问题
What are you doing?
你在干吗
- Nothing -- just getting a spoon. - Stop it.
-没干吗 拿个勺子而已 -别这样
- Is it bothering you? - Yes, it is.
-你觉得不舒服吗 -是的
- Hey, Mitchell - Claire, stop it! Stop it!
-嘿 米奇尔 -克莱尔 别这样
- Mitchell, Mitchell, Mitchell, Mitchell -- - Force field!
-米奇尔 米奇尔 米奇尔 -别逼我
That never stops being fun.
还是那么好玩
Good.
很好
Listen, this is -- this is not in my head, Claire.
听好了 这不是我瞎想的 克莱尔
And it's actually getting worse.
而且她愈演愈烈了
What does Cam say?
小卡怎么说
Well, he never seems to notice.
他根本就没注意到
And I certainly can't talk to him about it
而我肯定不能告诉他
because God forbid I say anything negative about his mom.
因为我绝对不能说他妈坏话
One time I added salt to her casserole...
有一次我在她的砂锅炖肉里加了盐
...and he went into the garage and punched the car.
结果他冲进车库砸了我的车
Okay, Mitchell, if this is happening --
好吧 米奇尔 如果这一切是真的
and I'm pretty sure it isn't --
虽然我很确定这是你的幻觉
Thank you. Supportive.
谢谢 你还真是挺我呀
then you need Cam to see his mom feeling you up
那么你就要让小卡看到他妈妈摸你
and then make Cam deal with it.
然后交给他去处理
Think about it.
好好想想吧
Hi, Dylan.
迪兰
Hey, Mrs. Dunphy.
邓菲太太
Or, I guess, now that Haley and I broke up,
不过现在我跟海莉分手了
I should call you "Claire".
我想我该叫你"克莱尔"
Actually, I think we're gonna stick with "Mrs. Dunphy".
还是继续叫我邓菲太太吧
Come on in. How are you doing?
进来吧 你还好吗
Not so good.
不怎么样
I mean, everywhere I look, I see her face.
我不管去哪 都能见到她的脸
To be fair, Dylan, that is a family portrait.
那是呀 迪兰 你看的是我们的全家福
I got to go get some of my stuff. Is that cool?
我要上去拿我的东西 可以吗
Oh, sure. Yeah.
当然 去吧
There she is again!
又是她
Oh, don't look on the bookshelf!
别往书架上看
You're just gonna...
那会让你
Hey, kid, you got a minute?
小子 有时间吗
I need the name of that medical website.
我要那个医学网站的网址
Can this wait until I'm home?
不能等我回家再说吗
I'm having the round of my life.
我正赢得爽着呢
I've been thinking, I might have a couple of those, uh,
我一直在想 我可能有一点
those symptoms you were talking about.
你之前说的那些症状
I see.
知道了
You might as well play through.
别等我了 你继续打吧
It's gonna be a while.
我还要耽搁一会呢
I mean, I'm probably wrong,
我可能是多想了
but, you know, I just, uh, want to make sure.
但是我只是想确认一下
- Is that Manny? - Work.
-是曼尼吗 -是工作电话
So, uh, tell them I'll --
那么 告诉他们
I'll get that order out this afternoon, huh?
我今天下午就发货 好吗
Did she buy that?
她信了吗
Because it sounded fake on this end.
因为就连我听起来都觉得有点假
I'll talk to you later, Tom.
晚点聊 汤姆
Tom.
是汤姆
Dylan!
迪兰
Oh, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan.
迪兰 迪兰 迪兰 迪兰
Hey, Mr. Dunphy.
邓菲先生
Hey, now that you guys are broken up,
你们俩现在既然分手了
you can call me whatever you want.
你随便怎么叫我都行
Phil, Vitamin P., P. Daddy.
菲尔 维他命菲 菲老爸 都行
Okay, Phil.
好吧 菲尔
Okay.
好的
I'm gonna miss that bad boy.
我会想念这个臭小子的
When I forget my own axe,
有时候我手痒痒了
sometimes I come in here and noodle on it.
就进来拨弄一下它
Actually, I've been writing a little song of my own.
实际上 我最近也在写首歌呢
Might be able to pluck out a few...
也许我可以给你弹
You know, I keep on hoping that this is just a dream,
我一直希望这一切只是个梦
that Haley and I didn't really break up.
海莉其实没有跟我分手
But it's not a dream...
但这不是梦
unless the whole thing was a dream
除非整件事都是个梦
and we never even dated in the first place.
我们从一开始就没在一起过
Weird -- this is kind of what my song's about.
真奇怪 这跟我写的歌差不多
Yeah. Weird.
是啊 真奇怪
I know this is tough, but you're gonna be fine.
我知道这不好受 但是你会好起来的
You know, I was a lot like you in high school...
我高中的时候跟你很像
except my hair was shorter
除了我的头发短点
and my guitar was a flute.
我玩的不是吉他而是长笛
Well, if you want your own guitar,
如果你想要把吉他
I mean, we could --
咱俩可以
We could go out and we'd pick you one.
咱俩可以一块去买
Oh, I don't -- I don't know if that's such a good idea.
我不 这样好像不太好
Yeah. Totally.
没错
Well
那么
I guess I'll get going.
我看我还是走吧
So...
这样一来
I can...well, be alone forever.
我就能 孤独终老了
Uh, what -- what the hell?
管它的呢
Let's go guitar shopping.
咱俩去买吉他吧
Awesome.
棒极了
Uh, do me a favor. Don't -- don't tell Mrs. Dunphy?
答应我件事 别 别告诉邓菲太太好吗
Yeah. Definitely. You got it.
那是一定的 没问题
Okay. All right.
好的 很好
Well, I guess I'll see ya.
那回头见
Okay. You --
好的 你
you, uh, you can go ahead and exit
你可以直接
through the...front door.
从 正门出去的
Oh, right. Habit.
对哦 我都习惯了
My old yearbook!
我的旧年鉴
You know I saved them all.
你知道我把它们都存下来了
- Oh, look. - What?
-看呀 -是什么
"You're the cutest boy in school.
你是全校最可爱的男生
You're gonna have an awesome summer.
你将拥有一个美妙绝伦的夏天
Smooches -- Brenda."
亲亲 布兰达
Oh, Brenda, you are about to have
可怜的布兰达 你将拥有一个
the most confusing summer of your life.
史上最郁闷的夏天
Hey, guys!
大家好
Oh, there's Mitchell!
米奇尔回来了
My little corn silk!
我的小亲亲
Oh, Barb, oh, you are such a good hugger.
巴布 你的拥抱真带劲
Isn't she the best hugger?
她的拥抱是最带劲的不是吗
Oh, thank you.
谢谢
Oh, and look what I -- I got you, Barb.
看看我给你带了什么 巴布
What's that?
是什么
Scratchers!
是刮奖彩票
- Mmm... - Thank you.
-亲亲 -谢啦
Nice.
真不错
Oh, that's your tea. I'm gonna get your tea.
你的茶好了 我去给你沏
Thanks, honey.
谢谢亲爱的
Well, I need a quarter.
我需要个硬币
Oh. Let me have that.
我来找找看
Oh, wow, yeah, feel free to fish around in there.
好吧 请随便摸
Cam? Cam.
小卡 小卡
I'd like a cup, too, please.
也给我来一杯 谢谢
Just a second.
马上就好
Ohh, Barb, ohh. You know what?
巴布 我跟你讲
I-I-I strained myself so bad today.
我 我今天扭伤了
Well, what's hurtin' on ya?
哪里疼
It's this area between my, uh, lower back
就在 后背下面
and upper thigh.
大腿上面这块
Sounds like your fanny.
听起来像是屁股
It's my fanny.
对 就是屁股
It's really knotted up.
疼得不得了
Well, you need someone to work on that.
你得找个医生看看
Ohh, I would love that. Just -- it's really seized up.
我倒是想 只是我疼得走不动了
Just put your fingers all over my...
我只要你来捏捏
my fanny.
我的屁股就好了
Your magic fingers...Barb.
用你的回春之手 巴布
Momma? Your tea.
老妈 你的茶好了
- Mitchell? - Thanks, sweetie.
-米奇尔 -谢谢 宝贝
See you in the room for a minute?
能否借一步说话
Thank you. It's very hot.
谢谢 茶还很烫
- Don't burn your tongue. - All right, honey.
-别烫着舌头 -好的 亲爱的
Okay, I am not gonna cry,
好吧 我不会哭
but I want to know why, Mitchell,
但是我想知道为什么 米奇尔
Why you are presenting to my mother like a baboon.
你为什么在我妈面前表现得跟只狒狒一样
I wanted you to see her fondling me.
我想让你看看她是怎么摸我的
So, you do want me to cry.
看来你就是承心要弄哭我
No, no, Cam, it's just that...
不 不 小卡 只是
she's always touching me inappropriately,
她总是对我动手动脚
and you never seem to notice.
而你似乎从来没有注意到
Show me, Mitchell.
做给我看 米奇尔
Show me on Lily's doll where my mother is touching you.
用莉莉的娃娃做给我看 我妈摸你哪了
I know that you don't want to hear this, but she's handsy,
我知道你不爱听 但是她确实动手动脚
and it makes me uncomfortable.
让我觉得很不自在
Oh, my god. I know what this is.
天啊 我知道这是怎么回事了
You're just not used to having a mother that shows affection.
我妈太关心你了 你一时适应不了
Oh, do not make this about my mother.
别又把我妈扯进来
I didn't.
我没有
But it is normal for a mother to be physical.
但是跟母亲的肢体接触是难免的
And it is not strange
偶尔的拥抱或者
for an occasional hug or a little pat on tanny.
拍拍屁股是很正常的
Okay, these aren't pats, Cam -- no.
她不只是拍 小卡 根本不是
She squeezes and lingers!
她一直揪来揪去不放手
Show me where she squeezes and lingers.
跟我示范下她怎么揪来揪去不放手了
Cam, put the doll down.
小卡 把娃娃放下
I don't know if this is just sexual or -- or crazy town,
我不知道她是开放还是疯掉了
but your mother cannot keep her hands off of me,
但是她老是对我下咸猪手
and it's creeping me out
我已经受不了了
No.
Barb...
巴布
Let me show you
我给你示范
where you stabbed my momma.
你在哪捅了我妈一刀
Thanks for helping me pick out my axe.
谢谢你帮我挑吉他
You were so right, by the way.
还有你说得对
The one with two necks would have been overkill.
双颈吉他的确是太过了
If you want, you can have some of that.
你想吃就吃吧
Diet starts tomorrow!
明天开始节食
Don't tell Mrs. Dunphy about this, either.
这也不能告诉邓菲太太哦
I, uh, I always wanted to go to this place with Haley,
我 一直想跟海莉来这里
but she said it looked stupid.
但是她觉得很傻
She's a girl with strong opinions --
她为人太主观了
like her mother.
跟她妈妈一样
Claire hates this new sweatshirt I bought.
克莱尔总是对我买的这件运动衫指指点点
She says it looks like something
她说这看上去像是
a girl would wear to the beach.
女生去沙滩时穿的衣服
Yeah, it does.
确实很像
But I wear it anyway.
但我还是穿了
See?
明白我的意思吗
I figure, why be alive if you can't do the things
我觉得吧 一个人要是不能做喜欢的事
you're passionate about?
活着还有啥意思
What are you passionate about, Dylan?
那么你热衷于什么呢 迪兰
格雷斯兰 猫王宅邸 位于田纳西州的孟菲斯
Uh, I always wanted to drive to Graceland.
额 我一直想开车去格雷斯兰
Fun! What else?
不错 还有呢
I know a guy who can get me a pet bobcat.
我认识一个人能给我搞到一只美洲山猫
Yeah! No, you don't really know what they're gonna do.
不行 你根本不知道它们多厉害
The point is, you got your whole life ahead of you.
重点是 你人生道路还长着呢
Enjoy being single.
享受单身吧
I really got to play that song for you.
我觉得我应该给你弹一下这首歌
This is all in there.
我突然来感觉了
Yeah.
好啊
Awesome. Be right back.
酷毙了 我马上回来
Hey, hey, come here.
嘿 你 过来
Is that guy over there with someone?
那边那家伙是跟别人一起来的吗
Could you tell if there was anything going on between them?
你知道他们在搞什么吗
I don'know.
不知道
They were talking about taking a trip to Graceland together.
好像在说一起去格雷斯兰什么的
He just wants to go
他想去是因为
'cause he thinks it's an amusement park!
他觉得那是一个游乐园
I got to tell you,
我得跟你说
this is looking more and more like diverticulitis.
你这症状越来越像憩室炎了
憩室 消化道粘膜向管壁外突出的局限性袋形扩张或囊样突出
Do they say how to treat it?
有没有说如何治疗
Like a heating pad or -- ohh -- there it is again.
像是用电热毯或者 又疼了
Well, describe the pain.
说说你是怎么个疼法
It's like I'm being stabbed,
就像被捅了一刀
but also like I ate a bad scallop
但又像是被我吃掉的扇贝
that's stabbing me from the inside.
从里面捅了我一刀一样
That's colorful, but there's no box for that.
很形象 但网站上没这些选项
What are you guys looking at?
你们爷俩干啥捏
- Girls! - Huffington post...girls.
-看美女 -赫芬顿邮报 美女
赫芬顿邮报 美国最著名的政治博客
Manny, let me see that screen.
曼尼 让老娘看看
What did I tell you?
我不是叫你不要上这个网站的吗
It's not his fault. I asked him to look.
不是他的错 是我让他看的
I'm starting to think I have a serious problem here.
我开始觉得我的病严重起来了
Yes, you do! That computer!
没错 就是这破电脑惹的祸
You read it there, you think it here,
你看了网页 就开始想入非非
you feel it here.
然后就无病呻吟
You want to feel better?
你想好受点吗
There -- you're cured.
好了 你痊愈了
Give me 15 minutes,
帮我争取15分钟时间
弗罗伦斯·南丁格尔 近代护理事业的创始人 5.12护士节就是为了纪念她 这里是挖苦歌洛莉亚
then tell Florence Nightingale I went to the hospital.
弗罗伦斯·南丁格尔女士要是问起来就说我去医院了
I'm gonna kill her! I'm gonna kill him!
我要杀了她 我还要杀了他
I'm gonna kill both of them!
我要杀了这对狗男女
What happened?
怎么了
Dylan has a new girlfriend!
迪兰找了个新女友
When did that happen?
什么时候
Who cares?
管他呢
I'm just surprised he didn't say anything...
他什么都没跟你说么
to you.
奇怪了
He's not answering my texts.
他也不回我短信
How could he do this to me?!
他怎么能这么对我
Oh, honey, you were the one who broke up with him.
亲爱的 是你把他甩了的
I didn't think he was gonna find someone so fast!
我没想到他那么快又找了一个
Maybe he's better than I thought.
可能他比我想的要好
No, he's not. What? No, he's not better!
不 不会 绝对不会
No, you know who's better?
知道谁更好么
David -- David the tutor.
戴维 家教哥戴维
Smart, smart David?
聪明的戴维
Maybe that's him right now!
可能是他来了
Do you want the house to yourself?
想跟他单独相处吗
For just a little while.
就一会儿
I got your texts.
我收到你的短信了
You swore a lot.
你骂得还真狠
Who is she?
她是谁
Who is who?
谁是谁
Your new girlfriend.
你的新女友
I need her name and address, so I can mess her up.
我要她的名字和地址 好去找她算账
I don't have a new girlfriend.
我哪有新女友了
Don't play dumb, Dylan.
别装傻了 迪兰
I'm not. I'm never playing dumb!
我没有 我从来不装傻
I saw you at that stupid restaurant,
我在那个傻逼餐厅看到你了
sharing a sundae with her ugly sweatshirt on the chair.
你跟她椅子上的恶心运动衫同吃一个圣代
Oh, is that the skank?
是那个贱人吗
No...no, there's -- there's no skank.
不不 没有 没有什么荡妇
Well, then why aren't yo answering it?
那你为什么不接电话
'Cause I want to talk to you.
因为我想跟你谈谈
Well, I want to talk to her.
我倒是想跟她谈谈
I'm gonna call her back
我要给她打回去
and tell her to keep her hands off
让她把她的爪子从属于
of what belongs to me.
我的东西上拿开
- Haley... - Hello.
-海莉 -喂
- Dad? - Haley?
-爸 -海莉
Oh...my...god -- the sweatshirt?
我的天 那件运动衫
That was you with Dylan?!
跟迪兰在一起的人是你吗
Wait, you're the other girl?
等一下 你就是那个新女友吗
No, we're just friends!
不 我们只是朋友
Phil, what are you --
菲尔 你搞什么
Okay, put the phone down.
好了 把电话挂了
what is going on?
到底是怎么回事
He needed someone to talk to.
他需要一个可以倾诉的人
He took the break-up pretty hard.
他的心都快碎了
- But -- - You did?
-但是 -真的吗
I mean, I kept on hoping that we'd get back together.
我一直希望我们能重归于好
Thinking of you with someone else just drove me crazy.
一想到你跟别人在一起我都快疯了
Me too, baby.
我也是 宝贝
But then your da helped me figure out
但是你爸帮我认识到
maybe it's best if we're apart.
也许分开才是最好的选择
Nice.
好样的
I mean, I think I just need
我只是觉得
a little time to date...Dylan.
我需要一点时间去跟迪兰约会
And I mean me, not another guy named Dylan.
是说我自己啦 不是另一个叫迪兰的人
So, we're still broken up?
所以 我们还是要分手吗
Yeah, I think so.
是的 我想是的
Wow. Okay...um...I don't know -- I'll see you.
好吧 那就 再见吧
Bye.
再见
Are you okay, baby?
你没事吧 宝贝
Do you need another pillow?
还要垫多个枕头吗
I know you think this is nothing,
我知道你觉得我没事
but he did say it could be an ulcer.
但医生的确说有可能是溃疡
He also said it could be gas.
他还说有可能是胀气
Do you want me to burp you? Come here. Come here.
你想让我帮你拍拍背吗 过来 过来
Dollars to doughnuts, it's diverticulitis.
十有八九是憩室炎
Actually, it's not.
不是憩室炎
You have acute pendicitis.
你得了急性阑尾炎
We need to get you into surgery right away.
我们要马上给你动手术
Emergency surgery. I told you it was something.
紧急手术 我跟你说了不是小毛病
That can't be right. You have to check again!
不可能 你得再复查一下
The tests are conclusive.
已经确诊了
Everything will be all right, Mr. Pritchett.
一切都会没事的 普里契特先生
Let's go.
咱们走吧
No, jay, if that's true,
不 杰 如果是真的话
yhen I'm the worst wife in the whole wide world!
那我就是全世界最恶毒的老婆了
I made you suffer for two whole days!
我让你忍了整整两天
Honey, it's okay.
亲爱的 没事的
No, it's not okay!
不 怎么会没事
Why?! Why do I always almost kill my husbands?!
为什么 为什么我总是差点害死我老公
And I want to hear this story sometime,
我找时间再听这个故事吧
but I'm sort of counting down to a rupture here!
但我现在要准备割阑尾了
No!! You can't go without forgiving me!
不 你不能带着对我的怨恨离开
What if you die in there?
你要是死在手术室里了怎么办
What do I do without you?!
没有你我该怎么办
I forgive you,
我原谅你了
but nobody dies of an appendectomy!
但是没人会死于阑尾炎手术
True, it's usually the anesthesia that gets you.
没错 通常都是麻醉出问题
You're over 60, right?
你六十多岁了 对吧
I will never forget you, Jay!!
我永远不会忘了你的 杰
Could you go back to not caring, please?!
你还是保持铁石心肠吧 拜托
Mitchell, it's Barb.
米奇尔 我是巴布
Ohh, Barb. I'm so sorry.
巴布 我很抱歉
Well, no, no, honey, you hush.
不不 亲爱的 听我说
Look, I...
听着 我
I've been thinking about what I heard, and...
我一直在想关于我听到的
maybe I do touch you too much.
也许我是摸你摸得的有点过分了
And I could say it's 'cause we're a family,
我想说我这么做是因为咱们是一家人
but, you know, I don't know.
但是 事实上 我不确定
I guess I have been having some fun with you,
我猜我跟你在一起很开心
and I...I thought that it was harmless,
我 我以为摸两把没事的
but I would never want to make you uncomfortable.
但是我从来没想让你觉得不舒服
Barb, it's my fault, too.
巴布 这也是我的错
So we're okay?
那我们和好了吗
Yes, yes, of course.
是的 是的 当然了
Thank god.
谢天谢地
'Cause I couldn't live with myself
因为如果咱俩之间有芥蒂的话
if things stayed weird between us.
我会难受死的
- Uh, Cam? Cam? - What is it?
-小卡 小卡 -怎么了
Well, we got it all worked out, sweetie!
我们已经和好了 宝贝
Oh, great. Let me get my camera!
太好了 我去拿相机
Okay, that's not necessary -- no!
没必要吧 不要
From now on, if I go too far,
从现在开始 如果我做得过分了
- please, you just tell me about it. - Okay.
-拜托你直接告诉我 -好的
What is that? Oh -- ohh!
那是什么
Almost lost my bracelet.
差点把手镯丢了
- That would be an area that's okay. - No!
-掉在那还好 -不
- Oh, dang it! - I'll get it. I'll get it.
-要命 -我来捡 我来捡
Oh, no, I saw where it fell.
没事 我看见它掉在哪儿了
Force field! Force field!
别逼我 别逼我
What's going on?
怎么回事
- I lost my bracelet in here. - Momma!
-我把手镯掉进去了 -妈咪
Listen, I think this might be one of those situations
听着 我想这种就是米奇尔
where Mitchell feels like you're crossing a boundary.
觉得你做的过分的情形之一
Really?
是吗
Like, this too?
就像 这样也算吗
Well...I...I got to have a good long think
那么 我要好好想一想
about how I conduct myself.
我的行为举止问题了
I'm truly sorry, Mitchell.
我真的很抱歉 米奇尔
It's okay! It's okay.
没事 没事
Well, let's take one quick picture,
那咱们赶紧照张相
- and we'll get out of his way. - Yeah. Absolutely.
-然后我们就出去 -好的
- Scooch together there. - This all right?
-靠近一点 -这样行吗
Okay.
好啦
I miss him.
我想他
He was your first real boyfriend.
他是你第一个真正意义上的男朋友
I keep expecting him to show up.
我一直希望他能出现
He used to come by at night,
他以前都是晚上过来
and I'd sneak out to see him.
然后我偷偷溜去跟他见面
- Yeah, I know. - You knew?
-是 我知道 -你知道吗
His car is 30 years old and doesn't have a muffler.
他开一辆没有消音器的三十年前的旧车
And he honked.
他居然还按喇叭
I loved that car.
我超爱那台车
I rode in it to the guitar store.
我坐着它去吉他店
I felt like I was flying.
感觉自己快飞起来了
I know it hurts now, sweetheart, but...
我知道你现在很难过 宝贝 但是
that's how you know it was a relationship worth having.
这样你才明白这段感情是值得拥有的
Thanks, dad.
谢谢 爸
So Dylan, you love the Graceland?
迪兰 猫王家好玩吗
Yeah, that's true.
是的 没错
Probably would be cooler if they had roller coasters.
如果他们有过山车就更酷了
Still, it's fun to see where the king lived, huh?
不过 能看到国王住的地方还是很有趣对吧
No. No, no, no.
不 不 不 不
That's just an expression. America doesn't have a king.
那只是一个比喻 美国没有国王
Yeah. Oh, sure. Uh-huh. When?
是啊 好呀 什么时候
Well, that's not always the case.
并不总是那样的
So, Dylan, did you get a chance
迪兰 你有机会
to listen to that song I sent you?
听我发给你的歌吗
No? You got seven minutes?
没有吗 你有七分钟时间吗