摩登家庭 第三季 Modern Family Season 3 第14集: 醋意盎然 Me Jealous

上映日期: 2,011

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 杰森·维纳

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里德·尤因 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格


台词
Oh, I hope Tad likes salmon.
希望泰德喜欢吃三文鱼
It's a bit of a risk serving fish
第一次来邓菲家做客
to a first-time diner at Dunphy's.
就给他吃鱼还是挺有风险的
Maybe I should marinate a steak for backup.
要不我还是腌块牛排做候补吧
I think someone has a man crush.
有人好像爱上某男了哦
First of all, I would never date a potential client.
首先 我绝不会和未来的客户约会
That's "First of all"?
你该先澄清一下性取向吧
Secondly, I really need this to go well
其次 此次晚餐必须顺利进行
so he makes me his realtor. This guy's flipping properties
那样他才会选我做房产经纪人 那家伙炒房地产
like they're extras in a kung fu movie.
堪比功夫电影中令人炫目的动作
So you're just kissing up to this guy for his money?
所以你是为了钱才猛拍他马屁吗
Not just. I really like him.
不仅仅是钱 我真的喜欢他
He travels the world doing charity work,
他周游各国 乐善好施
rock climbs, flies planes...
会攀岩 会开飞机
How does he have time to do all that?
他怎么有时间做那么多事啊
Got divorced, and his whole life opened up.
他离婚了 于是开辟了新的人生
Guy's living the dream.
他简直过着梦一般的生活啊
His dream.
他的梦
Not my dream. I'm living my dream.
不是我的梦 我的梦想就在这里
You're my dream.
你就是我的美梦
You can stop.
少来这套
I so don't want to do this.
我真心不想做这个
Recently, Haley got a little creative
最近 海莉在她的
on one of her college applications
某张大学申请表上突发奇想
[美国大哥哥大姐姐会 主要工作是青少年义务辅导]
and listed herself as a "Big Sister."
说自己是一名"大姐姐"
Technically, I am a big sister.
严格地说 我本来就是家中大姐姐
She capitalized the "B" And the "S."
她把"大"和"姐"都突出强调
[BS为英语中的脏话 此处取中文意攻击该组织]
Which makes sense, 'cause it was.
倒也说得通 那组织就是假"大"虚空 贱"姐"无数
So Claire and I suggested--
所以克莱尔和我建议
Forced.
是强迫
that she volunteer for the organization.
她去大哥哥大姐姐会做志愿工作
We couldn't be prouder.
我们为她自豪得不行了
We could.
其实可以
Little bit.
再自豪一点的
Hey, dad?
老爸
Did you accidentally leave this hilarious book
是你不小心把这本专门嘲笑律师的
Of lawyer jokes in the guest room?
笑话书落在客房的吗
I'll tell you if you can answer the following question--
要是你能问答以下问题 我就告诉你
What's the difference between
一条鲶鱼和一名律师
- a catfish and a lawyer? - I don't know. What?
-二者的区别是什么 -不知道 是什么
Well, one's a bottom-feeding mud-dweller.
一个在烂泥里打混 靠榨取底层生物过活
The other's a fish.
另一个则是一条鱼
zing!
犀利
Honk!
正中目标
Okay, everyone, dinner is served!
好了各位 晚餐已经好了
let's get it!
准备开饭吧
Our house is being fumigated, so Jay and Gloria
我们的房子正在消毒 所以杰和歌洛莉亚
invited us to stay here for a few days.
邀请我们回娘家住几天
I am very excited to have 72 hours with this one.
我真高兴能和她一起共度72小时
We don't get to spend much time together,
我们平时相处的时间很少
so I know that we're gonna be like, um...
可以想象这几天我们会像是
[40年代美国影坛的舞王舞后]
Fred and Ginger?
弗雷德和琴吉
Who?
谁啊
Movie night!
电影之夜
It's nosier than usual around here.
比平时要吵闹好几倍
oh, gosh!
我的娘啊
家 庭
摩 登
第三季 第十四集
Tad, this wine is fantastic.
泰德 真是极品好酒啊
Spend a week in Mendoza,
在门多萨呆上一周[阿根廷 盛产葡萄]
and you'll find a dozen or so Malbec producers
你就会发现一堆马尔贝克酒生产商
that'll give most Bordeaux a real run for their money.
可以酿出堪比波尔多酒的美酒佳酿
Mm. I'm sorry.
抱歉
This should come with a warning--
酒瓶上应该贴个警告
"May cause pretentiousness."
"可能导致装逼说大话行为"
You should come with a warning-- "May be fascinating."
该贴警告标签的是你 "极品帅男 靠近危险"
- Oh! Excuse me. -Oh, gosh!
-抱歉 -天啊
Oh, that's, like, the ninth time this screw has popped out.
该死的螺丝老是松出来 都第九次了
Oh, you know what? I need the angled screwdriver.
那个 我需要一个直角螺丝刀
I left it at the office.
可我把它落在办公室了
I, um, I keep it there because of--of all my signs.
我把它留在那是因为我的那些标记牌
I'll, uh, put up a "For sale" sign,
我用它来钉"待售"的牌子
and next day, of course,
然后保证第二天
- I gotta put up the "Sold" banner. - Yeah.
-我就会换上个"已售"的牌子了 -没错
Then the next day, same deal--"For sale"
然后第三天 同样的情况 "待售"
"Sold."
"已售"
"For sale." "Sold." "For sale." "Sold."
"待售——已售""待售——已售"
You're a great-- great salesman.
你真是个很棒 很棒的推销员
- I'm getting that. - "For sale." "Sold."
-我明白了 -"待售——已售"
Right. Listen, I-I-I gotta go relieve the babysitter.
很好 那个 我得回家好让保姆下班了
My ex-wife took 50% of my stuff
我前妻带走了我一半的财产
and left me 100% of my kids.
却留下了所有的孩子
- They're great. Hey, listen, um,
-孩子们很不错 - 我说
thank you so much for coming.
非常感谢你的光临
Oh, no, thank you, Phil, so much
哪里 我才要谢谢你 菲尔
for the salmon and the steak
谢谢你们做的三文鱼 牛排
and the chicken and the shrimp.
还有鸡肉和大虾
I mean, it was all just delicious.
每一样都很美味
- Oh, great. - This guy is very lucky to have you.
-太好了 -能有这样的贤妻 他真走运
Okay. Thanks.
好 那就多谢了
Yeah.
没问题
All right.
好吧
- Let me grab that. -Yeah.
-让我帮你开门 -行
Yeah. Thanks so much. Bye-bye.
非常感谢 再见
Bye-bye.
再见
Did you see that?
你看到那一幕没
A handshake that almost became a hug?
握手差点变成拥抱吗
Yeah, I saw it. I lived it. I think I'm in.
当然看见了 我是当事人啊 我成功了
No, honey. He kissed me on the lips.
不 亲爱的 是他亲到我的嘴
- Another good sign! - It's not a good sign.
-又一个好信号 -这不是什么好信号
Sweetie, you don't think that's weird?
亲爱的 你不觉得这很古怪吗
Well, the guy's a world traveler.
那家伙满世界乱跑
He has a time share in Costa Rica.
他曾在哥斯达黎加呆过一段时间
That's probably how they do it there.
也许是受那里的习俗影响吧
I don't know, honey. It felt like he lingered.
我不知道 亲爱的 感觉他在我唇上流连忘返
It's a progressive culture.
人家是先进性文化嘛
Most of them travel by zip line.
出行都得靠索道滑行
biscuits and gravy?
饼干配肉汁
Yep, my grandma Bitsy's secret recipe,
我奶奶贝奇的独家秘方
given to her by her housekeeper Delilah,
从她管家黛丽拉那里学到的
Who raised her and was her best friend--
她养大了我奶奶 也是她最好的朋友
kind of like "The help," except Delilah was white,
就像电影《相助》一样 除了黛丽拉是白人
and was actually herself quite the racist.
而且是个种族主义者
Eat up.
放开肚子吃吧
Good morning!
早安
- Hi, mom. - Hi, sweetheart.
-早 妈妈 -早 亲爱的
Ah, where did those come from?
这些花是哪儿来的啊
Yeah, I thought amaryllis were out of season.
没错 我以为朱顶红都开过季了呢
Oh, I got a guy. You know, I just thought
我认识个熟人 我只是觉得
they'd brighten up the house a little bit.
花能让家里看起来明亮一点
Oh, that was so thoughtful of you.
你想得真是太周到了
I didn't realize that my house needed brightening up.
我不觉得我家需要更明亮一点啊
There she is!
小公主来了
Gloria! Gloria!
歌洛莉亚 歌洛莉亚
Ay! Let me fix your hair!
哎呀 让我来帮你修复一下发型
Oh. Well, isn't that sweet?
那真是有爱啊
I didn't realize her hair was broken.
我不觉得她的发型糟糕啊
Ah! That smells delicious,
闻起来好香啊
but nothing for me. I've got an early work lunch.
可我不能吃了 有个很早的工作午餐
Really? I didn't hear an ambulance.
是吗 我没听到救护车的声音啊
[Ambulance chaser:讽刺律师的无良原意为律师追着救护车里的伤者 要求帮忙打官司]
Yeah, it's funny because it's what I've dedicated my life to.
好好笑哦 因为我已献身于法律事业
Oh, is this that meeting with the deejay with the funny name?
是和那个名字很搞笑的DJ见面吗
Booker Bell.
布克·贝尔
- Booker Bell. - Booker Bell?
-布克·贝尔 -布克·贝尔吗
Everybody now!
大家听好了
Booker Bell was only the greatest deejay
布克·贝尔是史上最伟大的
in the history of drive time radio.
交通台广播DJ
Yeah, well, now he has some wetlands that developers want,
他有几块湿地被开放商看上了
and we're trying to get him to donate for preservation.
我们希望让他捐给保护区
When I was on the road selling,
我还在跑公路生意那会儿
I used to listen to Booker all the time.
总是听布克的广播呢
He practically invented the prank phone call.
"整盅电话"差不多就是他发明的
Okay. Wish me luck.
好了 祝我好运吧
Good luck, sweetie!
好运哦 亲爱的
Booker would play a prank,
布克会先搞一段恶作剧
the sucker would be twisting in the wind,
那个倒霉蛋会被整得七窍生烟
and just when you couldn't stand it anymore,
就在你忍无可忍的时候
he'd say, "Guess who just got their bell rung!"
他就会说 "猜猜整盅电话整到谁了"
God, I'd love to meet him.
老天 我真想见他一面
Oh, they're just going down to Rae's.
他们就约在雷记餐厅
You should pop down.
你赶快飞奔过去吧
- I'm sure he'd love to meet a fan. - I don't know.
-他见到粉丝肯定很开心 -我没想好
I met Boz Scaggs once, got all tongue-tied.
有一次去见波兹·斯加格斯 我话都说不利索了
[上世纪六、七十年代蓝调灵魂歌手的代表]
Oh, you'll be fine.
噢 你可以的
Oh! Oh, Lily, it's time for school, sweetie.
糟糕 莉莉 亲爱的 该去学校了
Oh, I can take her.
我可以送她去啊
Oh. That'd be great.
那就太谢谢你了
Yeah, it'd give me some more time to clean the kitchen.
我正好帮你收拾收拾厨房
Maybe do a little dusting.
扫扫尘之类的
Delicious, Cam.
很好吃 小卡
Annie was amazing, so funny and cute and sweet.
安妮真棒 集风趣可爱贴心于一身
- Yeah, you've said. - She made this for me last night.
-要说几遍 -昨晚她画了幅画送我
Look how she signs her name with that big loopy "A."
瞧她的签名 "A"写得多萌啊 还打个卷儿
I'm totally going to frame this.
我得把它裱起来
I made this for Haley four years ago.
4年前我也给海莉画过一张
You think this got framed?
您觉得这张被裱起来了吗
She tossed it in the garbage...
她捏成团扔垃圾桶了
Right after she wrote "Mrs. Haley Jonas Brothers"
背面还写满了"海莉·乔纳斯三兄弟共有的夫人"
[深受美国少女喜爱的偶像摇滚乐队]
on it, like, 30 times.
写了大概30遍
The tax write-off alone makes financial sense.
光是税金减免就已经很诱人了
You know, even if you take the environment out of it.
更别提对环境的诸多好处了
Well, don't take the environment out of it.
别不提环境问题啊
Without the wetlands, there's no ducks,
没了湿地 就没了鸭子
and without the ducks, there's nothing for me to shoot at.
没了鸭子 就没东西让我射着玩了
Okay. Well, we're shooting from two different angles,
好吧 虽然我们考虑的角度不同
but, uh, hopefully we'll end up at the same place.
但希望最终能达成一致意见
- Mitch. - Dad?
-米奇 -爸
I just had to stop down and meet this guy.
我忍不住过来跟他打个招呼
Booker Bell, I'm Boz Scaggs--
布克·贝尔你好 我是波兹·斯加格斯
No! I mean Jay Pritchett. Damn it.
错了 我是杰·普里契特 妈的
- It's nice to meet you. - This is such an honor.
-很高兴见到你 -真是太荣幸了
You are hands down my favorite radio personality of all time.
你一直是我最喜欢的电台主持人
That's kind of you to say.
你真会逗人开心
Okay. Well, thanks for stopping by, dad.
好了 谢谢你特意过来一趟 爸
You know, I gotta tell you one thing.
我得跟你聊件趣事
I'll see you back at the house.
回头我们在家里聊吧
One time when I was driving from Youngstown to Sugar Creek,
有次我从扬斯敦开往糖果河
You called this guy at a kitty litter company
你给一个猫砂公司的人打去整盅电话
and you asked him to bring over 900 pounds of litter,
让他带900磅猫砂过去
and in the background, you hear all these lions roaring, and...
当时背景音乐是一群狮子在咆哮
I-I laughed so hard, I almost had an cicident.
我都快把肺笑出来了 差点出事
The car or you?
车出事还是人出事
Funny as ever!
你还是那么逗
- Anyway... - Hey, are you still in touch...with the old gang?
-随便吧 -你跟老一帮的还有联系吗
Grandma groovy? Spaceman Clyde?
时髦奶奶 还有宇航员克莱德
- Are you kidding? I am the old gang. - No way.
-开玩笑吗 老一帮就是我 -骗谁呢
I may be old, but I still know how to boogie.
我或许老了 但跳起布吉舞来毫不费力
My god, it's like she's here!
天呐 简直如她亲临现场
She is here!
就是她啊
How are you still not getting this?
你怎么还不明白呢
That's her.
那角色就是他演的
Excuse me for a sec.
抱歉 一会就来
What are you doing?
你搞什么飞机啊
What? I'm a fan. I came down to say hi.
咋了 我是他的粉丝 过来打个招呼而已
This is a business meeting.
我们可是在进行工作会谈
Do you have any idea how inappropriate this is?
你完全没意识到很不合时宜吗
No. No, of course you don't,
当然 你肯定觉得无所谓
because as far as you're concerned, all a lawyer does
因为在你看来 律师的工作不过是
is walk into a bar with a rabbi and a polar bear.
走进法庭 面对法官 以及准备钓律师的白熊女
[Bar有酒吧和法庭的意思白熊比喻意图勾搭律师的女性]
Grizzly, 'cause otherwise, when the bartender--
是灰熊啦 不然的话 当酒保...
Dad! I'm working!
爸 我在工作
You're embarrassing both of us!
你是在丢我们父子两个人的脸
Please, you gotta go!
拜托您赶紧走吧
All right. I didn't realize that.
好吧 我没意识到那一点
Yeah. Yeah. You didn't.
没错 你是没有
I'm sorry. Go.
抱歉 走吧
Hey. Where's my stalker?
我的疯狂粉丝呢
Oh, he's gone. I got rid of him.
他走了 终于摆脱他了
Sorry that he attacked you like that.
他缠着你喋喋不休 真不好意思
Attacked?
缠着
No. I don't mind a little smoke up my bombers.
没有的事 都习以为常了
Well, I just thought since this was supposed a business meeting.
我只是觉得工作商谈是件正经事
We should...
我们应该
And you thought maybe having somebody make me feel good would
你觉得有个人让我心情愉快会
wreck it?
破坏商谈吗
There's--there's been a lot of tension between me and my dad.
我跟我爸的关系一直很紧张
I'm actually staying at his house and it's just a...
我现在住在他家 所以有点
Oh, so you chased away a man who's opened his home to you?
所以你赶走一个为你敞开大门的人是吗
I get the sense that I'm losing you.
我觉得我好像要搞砸了
Could I talk to Grandma Groovy?
我能跟时髦奶奶谈吗
Honey, I'm home!
亲爱的 我回来啦
Well, I didn't expect you so early, dear.
这么早就回来了啊 亲爱的
What? You?
你怎么在啊
Yeah. Look who came by to fix the table.
看看谁来给咱家修桌子了
Well, I had some time to kill,
我正好有些闲工夫
so I thought I'd drop by with that tool your wife needed.
所以就顺道来给你老婆送修理工具了
- Wow. What a guy. - Yeah.
-真是个大好人啊 -没错
He also brought some wine.
他还带了酒哦
Well, you said you liked it last night,
昨晚你说你喜欢喝
so I had a couple extra bottles lying around.
正好我家里有几瓶放着没人喝
Boy, do you know the way to this gal's heart.
老兄 女孩的心思都被你猜透了
I didn't just come here to fix your table
我来不只是帮你家修桌子
and get your wife drunk.
顺便把你老婆灌醉的
I actually decided to give you
我其实是来告诉你
that listing on the sycamore property.
由你来做我的房产经纪人
Really? That's great.
真的吗 太棒了
Yeah. Why don't you, uh, come over for dinner tonight?
不如今晚到我家来吃晚饭吧
And, uh, we'll work out all the details. One entree.
我们可以谈谈细节 简单熟悉一下
Claire, you should come, too.
克莱尔 你也一起来吧
Oh, no, no. No, no, if it's business--
不了 不了 你们谈生意
I insist.
我强烈要求
- He insists. We'll be there. We're coming. - Okay.
-盛情难却 我们会到的 -好吧
Yeah, shall we say, uh, 7:00?
7点怎么样
- 7:00 sounds great. - Okay.
-7点可以 -说定了
All right.
好的
- I'll let myself out. - Okay.
-不用送了 -行
Wow.
惊了
"Wow" Is right.
我也觉得很震惊
I just got sycamore--
他说让我做经纪人
A house that sells itself and gives me the commission.
那房子不用推销就能大卖 我白捡便宜了
How does that not bother you?
你就一点都不在意吗
Claire, it's an expression.
克莱尔 我就那么一说
There's work. Inspections, appraisals--
还是要干活的啊 要检查房屋 估价
He brought me wine,
他给我带酒
He took his shirt off when you weren't here!
你不在的时候他把衬衫都脱了
Um, he brought us wine,
酒是带给咱俩的
and it doesn't look super vacuumed down there.
而且 桌子下面也确实有点脏嘛
I'm surprised he kept his pants on.
他该把裤子也脱了才对
Okay. Okay, I can see what's going on.
好了 好了 我明白怎么回事了
You--you're just so focused on getting his business,
你太专注于拉他当客户
that you don't see what's going on in front of you.
以至于你没看到事情的真相
Okay. Now I do see what's going on.
好的 我现在看清了
- What? - Come here, pretty girl.
-看清什么 -过来 美妞
- What? Mm? - You are, you know. You don't hear it enough.
-咋了 -你很美 只是我不常说而已
The other night, when you put on makeup,
那一晚 你着上淡妆
I was like, "There she is."
我心里想 "我老婆真美"
Oh, my god.
我的天呐
You think I'm making this up as some part of a-an ego boost?
你觉得我是虚荣心作祟才瞎编乱造的吗
Do you realize how insulting that is?
你知道这有多侮辱人吗
What are you doing?
你在干嘛
Helping my little sister with her homework.
帮我的小妹妹做作业
That seems... Mean.
你手段 真卑劣
Annie, this is Alex.
安妮 这位是艾丽克斯
That other sister I was telling you about.
就是我跟你说过的另一个妹妹
Hi. So nice to meet you.
你好 很高兴见到你
Um, if you're going to study there,
如果你要在我的床上学习
You might need to correct numbers 7 through 10.
还是把第7题到第10题答案改一下吧
This bed has higher standards than that bed.
这张床的标准可比那张床高多了
I'm going to get some more lemonade.
我去再拿点柠檬水来
I think your sister's mad at our sister.
我觉得你姐姐生我们姐姐的气了
We're back!
我们回来了
Oh, well, there you are. I guess "Lunch then home"
终于回来了 我猜"吃完饭就回家"
means different things to different people.
对不同的人有不同的意思哈
We had a girls' day. Lily, Lily, come!
我带着小美女逛街了 莉莉 快过来
Show your papa what we bought!
给你爸爸看看我们买什么了
Matchy jackets!
母女装
It's like she's the baby leopard,
她穿上就跟小豹子一样
And I'm the mama.
而我是母豹子哟
Or they just happened to have two jackets,
或者就是两件普通的大衣
one large, one small.
一件大号的 一件小号的
What happened here? Where is my tea?
抽屉里怎么了 我的茶哪去了
Oh, it's in this drawer over here.
茶在这边的抽屉里
As a thank-you,
为了感谢你
I took some time to rearrange your kitchen
我花了点时间把你家厨房重新打理了一下
So it makes sense.
好有条理一些
To who?
对谁有条理
To everyone. There's a flow now. Watch--
对所有人啊 现在有层次感了 看着
Tea. Mug. Kettle. You're welcome.
茶 马克杯 茶壶 不用谢
I didn't thank you.
我又没谢你
You don't have to.
你不必谢
I won't.
我没打算谢
Cam, our shared bathroom is not the place
小卡 躲在我们的共用厕所里
to work out whatever's going on here.
可不是解决问题的办法
I'm a child of divorce.
我是经历过父母离异的小孩
Conflict resolution is something of a specialty.
化解冲突可算是我的专长
The key is, tell a personal story
关键是 要跟当事人讲一个
that applies to their situation,
能引起他共鸣的故事
even if you have to make one up.
就算现编也得编
That way, they really hear what they need to hear.
那样的话 他们就会听到需要听到的道理
I'm sorry. You're right.
抱歉 你说的对
No. I'm sorry I snapped.
不 抱歉我打扰到你了
I'm just going through some stuff
我只是对我喜欢的一个女生
with this girl I like, Danielle.
有点想法 她叫丹妮尔
She came over the other day, and Stella was all over her,
她前几天来我家 而斯黛拉老粘着她
And--and I got jealous.
然后 然后我就吃醋了
Which is crazy, right?
这有点不可理喻 对吧
I mean, Stella was only playing with her because she was new.
我是说 斯黛拉和她玩只是一种新鲜感
Manny, sounds like Danielle was trying
曼尼 听起来丹妮尔想
to get between you and your puppy,
破坏你和你的小狗之间的感情
And that ain't cool.
性质很恶劣啊
She seems immature, and you can do better.
她好像很不成熟 而你可以找个更好的
I'm sorry to be blunt,
我很抱歉直言不讳
But I'm going through something myself right now.
但是我自己现在也在经历感情波折
So, chin up. Okay.
所以 振作点 好的
It may not work every time,
虽然未必每次都管用
but you only need one fish to bite.
但你只需要搞定一位就可以了
Who is this Danielle?
那个丹妮尔是谁
She's my study partner in my history class,
她是我历史课上的学习搭档
and we share a notebook.
我们共享笔记的
But her notes were really confusing,
但她的笔记比较混乱
so I put them in order.
所以我将之列的井井有条的
Instead of thanking me for making our lives easier,
而她非但不感谢我让学习变得更容易
she got all mad because she thought I was judging her.
她还生我的气 因为她认为我在批评她
This girl is very bad news, Manny.
那个女生相当不靠谱 曼尼
You stay away from her.
你离她远远的
We're Phil and Claire.
我们是菲尔和克莱尔
Hey, I'm Tony.
我是 我是托尼
Come on in. I'll go get my dad.
快进来 我去叫我爸爸
- Okay. - Great, thanks.
-好的 -很好 谢谢
I don't like the way that kid was looking at you.
我不喜欢那孩子看你的方式
We are not friends right now.
我们现在不是朋友
I am only here to help pump up the college fund.
我只是过来帮忙搞点给孩子们上大学的钱
Claire, if Tad even makes a move towards you,
克莱尔 如果泰德对你毛手毛脚的
His ass is... grass.
我就打的他屁股开花
Really? I thought that was just my ego.
是吗 我以为只是我的虚荣心在幻想呢
So far, yeah, but just know,
目前 是的 但是你要明白
I'm ready to grass his ass.
我已经准备好打得他屁股开花了
Hey, hey, hey, guys.
嘿 两位
Hey! How are you!
嘿 你好吗
- Good. - Good to see you.
-很好 -很高兴见到你
- Yeah. - Hi. That's good.
-好啊 -这就行了
Well, I love the place. Did you remodel this?
这房子不错啊 你重装修了吗
Uh, actually, my ex-wife.
事实上是我前妻搞的
She had a, uh, passion for modern architecture
她那个 很热衷于现代建筑
and at least one modern architect.
以及至少一位现代建筑师
May have to sell this one next.
或许接下来也会把它卖掉
Really?
真的
I love how open it is.
我喜欢它的开放式结构
- Do you mind if I, uh, poke around? - Please, yeah.
-你介意我 参观一下吗 -请便
Beautiful.
真漂亮
Tad, if you don't need my help anymore with the kids,
泰德 如果你不需要我照看孩子了
- I'll be going. -Thank you so much, Ellen.
-那我就走了 -太感谢你了 艾伦
You're welcome.
不客气
Okay. We'll see you later. Bye.
好的 我们回头见 再见
I saw this house eight years ago.
我8年前见过这房子
There used to be a wall here, right?
这里以前有堵墙 对吧
That's right. That's right. That was all covered.
对 对的 不过已经改掉了
Yeah.I'm a detail guy. Hard to get much past me.
我可是很注重细节的 别想逃过我法眼
Hello, hello!
好啊 好啊
- Hi, aunt Kara! - How are you?
-你好 卡拉阿姨 -你好吗
Good, Tad, How you doing?
我很好 泰德 你怎么样
- Bye, daddy. - Bye, sweetie.
-拜 爸爸 -拜 亲爱的
- Bye, dad. - Have fun.
-拜 老板 -好好玩
Okay. See you later.
好的 回头见
Come on, guys, let's go.
快点孩子们 咱们走了
These stairs used to be teak, am I right?
楼梯以前是柚木的 对吧
This guy's good.
你老公真厉害啊
Yeah, he's good.
是啊 他是很厉害
- He's sharp. - I forgot my bag.
-他非常犀利 -我忘拿包了
You do that every time.
你每次都这样
Yep.
没错
I don't miss much.
我从来都不放过任何细节
Oh, I'm sorry. Were you trying to read?
抱歉 你是想看书吗
You're the one who tries to read.
你想看也看不懂啊
Oh, my gosh! I am not that stupid!
擦 你妹的 姐还没那么笨呢
Seriously, Haley, you think you
说真的 海莉 你以为你是
- are the coolest person ever! - Would you please stop
-有史以来最酷的人啊 -你能不能
just judging me and everything that I do?
别只要看见我干点啥就立马损我
"Look at me! I'm so cool!"
"看看姐 姐好拽啊"
Enough! Enough!
够了 够了
I am so sick of you two fighting all the time!
我真是受够你们每天在一起掐架了
You're a bad big sister,
你是个坏大姐
And you're a bad little sister!
而你也不是什么好二姐
And you're both bad big sisters to me.
反正都是我的坏姐姐
Be normaler.
正常点吧
I've never seen him like that.
我还没见过他这么发飙呢
Well, we do kind of neglect him.
我们确实有点忽视他的感受了
And if you think about it,
仔细想想吧
he is kind of... our little sister.
他有点像是 我们的小妹妹
Remember how we used to dress him up?
还记得以前我们怎么打扮他的吗
I miss her.
我想她
I hear you,
我听见你们了
and I don't like where this is going!
而且我很不喜欢这对话的发展方向
You get the lipstick,
你负责拿口红
I'll get the bra and tennis balls.
我去拿胸罩和网球
Betty Luke!
贝蒂·卢克
[经典卡通形象Betty Boop--贝蒂娃娃欲知笑点 务必查证图片]
I will burn this house down!
我会把这房子烧了的
Where is the cheese grater?
乳酪磨碎机哪去了
Where is the cutting board?
那切菜板呢
Where would you want it to be?
你想让它在哪
Yes, right here next to the cheese grater.
是 就在乳酪磨碎机的旁边
I know it's hard to tell by looking at me,
我知道光看表面看不出来
But I am not a natural homemaker.
但我真不是做主妇的料
So when Cam came and organized my kitchen,
所以小卡对我的厨房整顿之后
I felt insecure and lashed out.
我觉得失去了安全感 备受打击
In a way, I'm no better
从某方面来说 我不比
than Manny's crazy friend Danielle.
曼尼那不可理喻的朋友丹妮尔好多少
Please, can we just focus on the cooking?
拜托 我们能专心做菜吗
Daddy, we forgot to give you this.
爸爸 我们忘记给你这个了
It's like our jackets.
和我们的外套是一个系列哦
I love it.
我很喜欢
I guess I've always been a little sensitive
我想我一直都对莉莉
about Lily not having a mother,
没有妈妈的事情很敏感
and Gloria's so good at it.
而歌洛莉亚很好地担当了这个角色
I got jealous.
我有些吃醋
Maybe I should tell Manny this story.
也许我应该跟曼尼讲讲这个故事
It might help him with that train wreck Danielle.
也许对他和那个灾星丹妮尔的事情有些帮助
You know what? Why don't you turn that music back on.
你知道吗 何不重新打开音乐
Was kind of nice.
听起来很不错
Hey, dad...
爸爸
No need to talk about it.
你什么都不用说
I was out of line coming down there,
我突袭你们的商谈确实有点过分
won't happen again. Scotch is at the bar.
此类事情绝不会再发生了 酒在吧台上
No, I've been giving this a lot of thought.
不 我想了很多
I guess we're gonna talk about it.
你大概又要拉着我谈心了
I was rude to you.
我对你太无礼了
I think I was just annoyed by all the lawyer jokes.
我想我只是有点恼火那些调侃律师的玩笑
I mean, let's be honest, you don't exactly
坦白一点讲 你对我的工作
beam with pride over what I do for a living.
并不引以为豪
Mockery is the sincerest form of flattery.
常言道 讽刺是最真挚的奉承
Pretty sure that's-- that's not the saying,
我很确信 常言中可没那个说法
But, um, you know, Manny told me a story
不过 曼尼给我讲了一个
about his friend Danielle.
关于他朋友丹妮尔的故事
She sounds like a real piece of work, by the way.
顺便说一句 听上去她是个了不起的人物
But, uh, it made me realize that
但是 那个故事让我意识到
I take myself a little too seriously.
我太把自己当回事了
Listen, it goes without saying I've always been proud of you,
听着 不用说我也一直都为你自豪
and I brag about you all the time.
也一直到处吹嘘你
So if I say, "What do lawyers use as birth control?"
所以如果我说 "律师用什么来避孕"
And the answer is, "Their personalities,"
答案通常是"他们令人讨厌的性格"
I want you to know I'm not referring to you.
你要知道我不是指你
You don't need any birth control.
因为你压根儿不需要避孕
Hello?
你好
Yeah, this is Jay Pritchett.
是的 我是杰·普里契特
What? When?
什么 什么时候
What happened?
发生什么了
It's the police. My car got stolen.
是警察 我的车被偷了
Yeah, 2012. Gray.
是的 2012 灰色
No, not pewter. More like a light...
不 不是蓝灰色 更像是淡
Like a--no, not slate.
像是 不 不是暗蓝色
I don't even know what "Coastal fog" Is.
我都不知道"雾灰色"是个什么色
Just put down "Gray."
写"灰色"就行了
Kilo?
奇洛吗
It's not my car.
那不是我的车
Yes, she's columbian.
对 她是哥伦比亚人
What does that have to do with--no, I'm coming down there.
和这个有什么关系 不 我现在下去
Hang on. Grab your keys.
等等 带上钥匙
I think I might need a lawyer.
我想我需要个律师
Guess who just got his bell rung?
猜猜整盅电话整到谁了
That's good.
完全骗到他了
That's good.
真有两下子
Here we go. Have a seat.
来吧 请坐
I got a bottle of port from 1899.
我有一瓶1899年的波尔图葡萄酒
Okay, I got it for $18.99...
好吧 其实是18.99美金的葡萄酒
but it's a good one.
不过是瓶好酒
- Fun night, right? Great dinner? - Yes. Yes, and...
-今晚很棒 晚餐也很棒 -对吗 是的 而且
Tad is... great,
泰德是个大好人
and I know I was giving you a hard time...
我知道我之前有些难为你
But I feel like I should say that I am sorry.
但我觉得我应该说声对不起
Hey, hey, hey, Claire, you don't need to explain.
克莱尔 你不用解释
Your apology is apology enough.
你肯道歉已经让我受宠若惊了
Oh, I forgot the best part
在哥斯达黎加的那个故事
of the Costa Rica story.
我忘记讲最棒的部分了
So we get home, and they've taken over the living room,
我们回家后 它们占据了客厅
they've taken over the kitchen,
占据了厨房
I mean, they're in the food, they're on the bed.
食物上 床上 到处都有它们的身影
And finally, after two years of complaining to Diego about this,
终于 向迪亚戈抱怨了两年后
he finally stops and says,
他终于停止了 他说
"Okay, now I see it.
"好吧 现在我亲眼看到了
You do have a monkey problem."
你确实遇上猴群作乱了"
A monkey problem!
猴群作乱
Yeah, I heard him the first time.
知道 他第一次说我就听清了
You can kiss my wife, you can take her to bed,
你可以亲吻我的妻子 可以和她滚床单
but you cannot make her laugh.
但是你不能逗她笑
I wanna go back.
我要重来一遍
You can kiss my wife,
你可以亲吻我的妻子
But only I can take her to bed and make her laugh.
但只有我能和她滚床单和逗她笑
I wanna go back.
我要再来一遍
Only I can take my wife to bed,
只有我可以和我的妻子滚床单
comma,
逗号
and make her laugh.
和逗她笑
I mean, they're in everything.
它们真的无处不在
The only thing they didn't touch--
它们唯一没有碰的东西
the bananas.
居然是香蕉
The monkeys love bananas!
猴子爱香蕉
You would think they would love the bananas.
天下哪有不爱香蕉的猴子
Yeah, we should go.
对 我们该走了
- Come on. The bananas-- - Yeah, we need to go.
-没开玩笑吧 香蕉 -我们该走了
- We gotta get going. - Oh, no, no, no.
-我们该走了 -不不
- Yeah, yeah, we're late. - But he just opened the--
-时间太晚了 -但是他刚刚打开
- We're late for getting home. - Thanks for everything. Just--
-我们回家要晚了 -谢谢你的盛情款待
What is wrong with you?
你有什么毛病
You laughed like it was "Who's on first?"
你笑得花枝乱颤 像是说"谁先上我"
What?
什么
He's on second. Don't try to cheer me up.
他必须第二个上 别哄我
I know what's going on here. You're jealous.
我知道了 你吃醋了
Of him?
吃他的醋吗
He's not even funny!
他一点都不好笑
What's he got? Like, a soft ten minutes?
他有什么 棍又软 时又短吗
And he goes to the Costa Rican well
而且他去哥斯达黎加的故事
a little too much for my taste.
我的品位完全无法理解
Oh, god.
天呐
Really? This is still about the monkey?
不是吧 还在笑猴子吗
No! No, no, no!
不不不
It's you. You are making me so happy right now.
是你 你现在让我很开心
You stormed out of there, and you're acting like an idiot.
你仓皇地逃出来了 简直像个傻子
You like this? Because I am really uncomfortable.
你喜欢吗 我真的相当不爽
Honey, I love it. Makes me feel special.
亲爱的 我太喜欢了 让我觉得倍受重视
Sometimes, I really don't understand you.
有时候 我真的搞不懂你在想什么
I know. It's stupid,
我知道 有点傻
but it's nice to know that sometimes you'll fight for me,
但是看到你为我而战感觉很好
and all I have to do is laugh at some other guy's story.
而我只用对其他男人的故事笑笑就能看到
But no one makes me laugh like you do.
但没有人能像你那样让我开怀大笑
As long as it's always genuine.
只要这句永远是真的
You can fake anything you want with me,
你的一切都可以是假的
But not your laugh.
只要笑容是真的就行
- I'd like to go back. - Yeah.
-我要重说一遍 -好
Stop it! Leave me alone!
住手 走开
- Hold still! - Stop moving!
-老实点 - 别动
I hate you! Get off of me!
我恨你们 走开
What... is going on?
干什么呢你们
You guys are in a lot of trouble.
你们有大麻烦了
Haley, I told you to clean this mess up,
海莉 我告诉过你把客厅收拾好
And, Alex, your books are everywhere.
艾丽克斯 你的书丢得到处都是
Betty Luke, sit down while your dad gets the camera.
贝蒂·卢克娃娃 坐下来 你爸快去拿相机
Got it.
收到
Last time, you made a funny face
上次 你做了个鬼脸
and we didn't really get a good shot,
所以我们没有拍到一张很好的照片
so let's work on our smile.
所以我们要练习微笑
Okay. Good to see you, Betty Luke.
好 见到你真高兴 贝蒂·卢克娃娃