摩登家庭 第三季 Modern Family Season 3 第17集: 闰日 leap day

上映日期: 2,011

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 杰森·维纳

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里德·尤因 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格


台词
Come on, boys!
孩子们起床了
It's leap day, not sleep day!
今儿个可是闰日 不是困日
I love leap day!
我超爱闰日
It's kind of a big deal in the Dunphy house.
算是邓菲家的重大节日吧
This year, we even got Manny involved.
今年我们甚至把曼尼都拉进来了
You're given this gift of 24 extra hours.
老天赐予你多出来的24小时
You can't waste it at work or school.
可不能浪费在工作或学习上
You have to do something extraordinary,
得用来做些非同寻常的事
something shocking.
令人震惊的事
This year, the entire family is taking a trapeze class.
今年 我们全家要去学习玩"空中飞人"
How extraordinary is that?
非同寻常吧
It was my idea.
那可是我的主意
How shocking is that?
震惊吧
I can be spontaneous every four years.
每隔四年我都会心血来潮一次
I can't wait.
我都等不及了
Leap day is stupid.
闰日什么的傻爆了
You're not understanding the logic behind it.
你没有理解其背后的因果关系
A year is actually 365.25 days.
一年实际上有365.25天
Every four years, we gain one day.
所以每隔四年 就会多出一天
If we didn't adjust the calendar in, say, 40 years,
如果不靠闰日来调整的话 大约40年后
February would almost be January.
二月就变成一月了
That's not my problem, and it's definitely not your problem.
关我屁事 关你屁事
Look at this.
看看
The housekeeper turned another one of my whites pink.
家政又把我的白衣服染成粉红了
I can't wear this to a sports bar.
我不能穿着这个去运动酒吧
Mm, they're not going to be looking at you, Jay.
群众的目光又不会在你身上 杰
Somebody's feeling pretty good about herself.
某人自我感觉相当良好哦
They're going to be watching the match.
他们关注的是比赛
You meant you a little bit.
你还是暗指了一下自己吧
Okay, put it in there.
好 插在这里
All right, very quietly,
好了 悄悄的哦
we're gonna go to daddy's bedroom, open the door,
我们要去二爸的卧室 打开门
Happy birthday to me.
祝我生日快乐
- I'm 10! - 40!
-我满10岁了 -是40岁
I was born February 29th,
我生在2月29日
and there have been ten of those... in my lifetime,
至今为止这日子出现过10次
therefore I'm 10!
所以人家才10岁
It's fun.
太好玩了
It's so much fun.
相当好玩
Anyway, I-I've spent the last four years
总之 我这四年都在琢磨
trying to figure to what kind of party to throw this one.
为我家老公办什么样的派对
Oh, honey, you know I'd be fine
亲爱的 你知道
with just a nice casual evening at home with you.
能和你在家随便过一晚我就很满足了
Don't--don't even.
别 可别这么说
No. No! That's what he said last time.
他上次就来这一套
Okay, birthday boy, what's it gonna be--
好 小寿星 要看什么呢
Rom com or horror?
爱情喜剧片还是恐怖片
Or we can do both and watch "Maid in Manhattan."
或者是兼具这两种风格的《女佣变凤凰》
Whatcha doing?
你干嘛
Canceling our baby.
我不要跟你一起养孩子了
家 庭
摩 登
第三季 第十七集
Okay, love to dad. Bye! Mwah!
行 向爸爸问好 拜
Daddy, what are you doing?
二爸 你在干嘛
Yeah, daddy, what are you doing?
是啊 二爸 你干什么呢
Snooping for hints about your birthday?
在偷找你生日派对的线索吗
No, I'm just excited, and I wanna be helpful.
不 人家只是太兴奋了 想帮帮忙嘛
I know party planning isn't your thing.
我知道你不擅长策划派对什么的
Y-you need to trust me, Cam.
你得对我有点信心 小卡
I know, and I do.
我知道 我真的信任你
It's not like you're gonna do anything tired,
反正你也"不会"弄什么过时的东西
like appletinis or ice sculptures.
比如苹果马提尼啊 冰雕啊
Or synthetic napkins or anything mylar.
或者是合成纤维餐巾 聚酯产品之类
Cam, that's enough!
够了 小卡
I've been paying for your last party for four years.
这四年来我都在为上次的派对赎罪
And I find it a little insulting
而且你不相信我能
that you don't think I can pull this off.
办好这派对 有点侮辱人呢
You know what?
好吧
I trust you. I'm letting go.
我相信你 我放手不管了
- Okay. - Okay?
-好吧 -好吗
You know orange is over, right?
你知道橘色已经不流行了 对吧
It's a simple party. I can do it.
不过是个简单的派对 我干得来
Simple.
简单
Perfect.
"好"极了
Yeah, just a simple party.
没错 只是一个"简单的"派对
I'm simply taking Cam's favorite movie, "The wizard of Oz,"
我"简单地"选了小卡最爱的电影《绿野仙踪》
and turning our house into an oz-themed extravaganza--
把家里变身为绿野仙踪主题嘉年华
Yellow brick carpet, waitstaff in full costume,
黄砖图案的地毯 身着戏装的招待
and custom-made ruby slippers for Cam.
以及为小卡量身打造的红宝石鞋
Whazzup?!
帅吧
So is this safe?
那活动安全吗
It's a trapeze.
不过是个"空中飞人"
Relax. More people are killed by knife-wielding strangers
放轻松 "空中飞人"比被陌生人持刀杀害
than from trapezing.
死得少多了
I'm thinking about going home now.
我有点想直接回家宅着了
Honey, are you okay?
亲爱的 你还好吧
I'm fine.
我没事
I'm watching...
我在看
It's so sad.
太催泪了
Oh, no. Not today.
天啊 可别在今天啊
What's wrong?
怎么了
Nothing. No, your mom's just, uh...
没事 你妈只是
feeling emotional.
情绪有点激动而已
She was like this last month and the month before
她上个月这时候就这德行 上上个月也是
and the month before.
上上上个月也是
What?! I could kill someone!
啥 老娘要杀人了
No, I can't hear you!
我听不见你说话
This stupid phone gets no reception in this stupid house! Aah!
这傻缺电话在这破房子里收不到信号
Dear god, no.
苍天啊 不会吧
I'd heard rumors.
我听过传言
Yeah, we all had,
没错 大家都听说过
that females living or working in close quarters
女人们在一起工作生活
could eventually get on the same... cycle.
最后经期就会变得一致
But I always assumed that was a story designed
不过我一直以为这说法是编来
to keep women out of submarine corps.
阻止女性加入潜艇部队的
This isn't milk. What's wrong with me today?
这不是牛奶 我今天到底怎么了
My brain's not working right.
大脑都不正常运转了
No.
不会吧
I can't focus...
我没法集中
Three legs?
三条腿
It's not fair.
太不公平了
I know.
我就说嘛
Oh, no! It's sad.
太催泪了
Oh, my god. They're gonna ruin everything.
我的天 这下乐子全被她们毁了
No. We--we just need to be extra sensitive.
没有的事 咱们多长点心眼就行
Phil, honey, when do we need to leave?
菲尔 亲爱的 什么时候出发
Whenever's good for you, sweetie. Maybe 20 minutes?
你准备好就行 亲爱的 20分钟后好吗
- 20 minutes?! - Then which one is it, Phil?
-20分钟 -给个准话好吗 菲尔
Is it whenever it's good for me or is it 20 minutes?!
是等我准备好还是20分钟后
Whenever you're ready!
你们准备好就行
It happened-- Satan's trifecta.
该来的还是来了 那些年一起来的大姨妈
The day I most dreaded had fallen on the day I most loved.
我最恐惧的一天 降临在了我最爱的这一天
They're gonna ruin trapezing.
她们会毁了这次"空中飞人"
I bet they don't even catch me.
我打赌她们已经有点错乱了
Why are you so afraid of them? They're reasonable.
你这么害怕干嘛 她们都是通情达理的人
Why don't we just suggest they stay home,
不如建议让她们待在家里
- considering they're all on their menst-- - Shh!
-好好招待大姨... -嘘
The first rule of dealing with the cycle--
对付大姨妈的第一要点是
You never mention the cycle.
绝口不提那仨字
You tiptoe around it.
要旁敲侧击打埋伏
The woman's actually taken great pains
女人要承受异常的苦痛
to hide the monster she's become.
来压制身体里的魔鬼
But if you acknowledge it, that brings the monster forth.
但要是说出真相 那魔鬼拦都拦不住了
My god.
老天
And there's three of them.
一来就是三只啊
It's okay.
没事的
I have a plan.
我有个计划
It's kind of traditional for people to lean in
通常有人说"我有个计划"时
when somebody says, "I have a plan."
大家就应该前倾围过来的
Okay...
好的
Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja!
好 好 好 好
Ooh! No!
不要啊
Si! Si! Si! Si!
冲 冲 冲 冲
Goal!
进了
Goal!
进了
You should call your country "The Never-lands"
你应该管你们国家叫"荷烂"
- Because you're never-- - Ja, because we are never going to win.
-因为你们永远不可... -对 因为我们永远不可能赢
You said that a billion times.
你都说了无数遍了
Just go home.
回家洗洗睡吧
Why don't you Dutch people go home?
你这荷兰佬干嘛不回家洗洗睡
Someone should shut your Colombian mouth!
闭上你的哥伦比亚大嘴巴吧
- Okay, I wanna see you try! - Uh, is there a problem over here?
-有本事试试看 -有什么问题吗
Yes. There is a problem, and you're married to her.
没错 大问题 你娶的就是个大问题
Really? Well, let me make a suggestion.
是吗 我倒是有个提议
Why don't you sit down, I send you over a beer,
你好好坐着 我请你喝杯啤酒
my wife and I watch from over there?
我和我妻子坐到那边看
That way, everybody enjoys the game--
这样就皆大欢喜了
Except me, 'cause I prefer a game where something happens.
除了我 因为我更喜欢看激烈点的比赛
Gloria, let's go.
歌洛莉亚 我们走
Let's go.
走吧
I thought you were going to punch that guy back there.
我还以为你刚刚要揍那家伙呢
Ah, I got 60 pounds on the kid.
我比那孩子壮60磅呢
Yeah. It's just that I've heard so many stories about you fighting.
也对 只是听过很多关于你的英勇事迹
And-- it's not worth the trouble.
为这点小事没必要的
Yeah, and he has all those friends and...
对啊 他那儿还有一大帮朋友
Well, his friends had nothing to do with it.
跟人多人少没关系
I mean, sometimes it's better to take the high road.
有时候 得饶人处且饶人嘛
Yeah, it's better that you walked away.
当缩头乌龟是挺好的
Gloria, I get-- I get the impression
歌洛莉亚 我感觉你
- you're disappointed I didn't punch that guy. - Of course not.
-对我没出手有点失望 -哪有的事
Who needs all that manly, protect-your-woman stuff?
谁在乎那些为媳妇不顾一切的爷们气概啊
No, see, like, right there. You're saying one thing,
不是 你看你又这样 嘴上说一套
but it feels like you mean the opposite.
心里想的完全相反
- No. - That's a "Yes."
-没有 -那就是有
Look, Jay, I just came to watch the game.
听着 杰 我就是来看球赛的
- I don't want to fight. - Neither do I.
-我可不想跟人吵 -我也不想[打架]
I know.
我就知道
So in keeping with the film,
为了与电影场景一致
this area will be in black and white,
这部分要变成黑白
and then an explosion of technicolor.
然后这边就是明快的彩色
Best part--as the guests are coming in...
最棒的部分 宾客一进来
Auntie Em! Auntie Em!
埃姆婶婶 埃姆婶婶[片中台词]
A simulated tornado.
模拟龙卷风是也
Yeah. Oh, he's gonna love that.
真好 他一定会爱死的
- So the appletinis are canceled... - Yes.
-苹果马提尼不要了 -没错
The little Toto dog is ordered, and...
小狗托托也订好了 还有
Please tell me that you are not mixing punch in costume!
别告诉我你穿着戏服还捣鼓潘趣酒呢
Oh, no! W-what is Cam doing home?
不是吧 小卡回家干嘛
- Hey. - Hey.
-你好 -你好
We're the monkeys.
我们来扮猴子的
Yes, hi. Hi. Come on inside. Quickly, quickly.
你们好 请进 快点 快点
Hi. Okay, one second.
你好 等会就来
Hey! Whatcha doing home?
回来干嘛啊
Are you checking on me and the party again?
你又不放心我 回来检查派对情况吗
No, no. I left my cell phone in your car
没有 我把手机落你车里了
and I gotta be in touch with mama today.
一会儿还得跟我妈联系呢
She's talking to the insurance agency for the first time
她今天第一次跟保险公司谈
to see if they're gonna rebuild grandpa's farm.
看看他们能不能重建爷爷的农场
Rebuild the...
重建
Because of the tornado.
因为龙卷风
I totally missed the connection.
我完全忘了这茬
A month after the most devastating twister
就在有史以来最具毁灭性的龙卷风
that ever hit Cam's hometown,
席卷小卡家乡一个月后
I throw a party
我筹备了一个
based on gay cinema's most famous tornado.
以同志电影中最著名的龙卷风为主题的派对
Yeah, you know, it's been a month,
是的 都过去一个月了
and she hasn't heard anything, and she's just beside herself.
保险方面还没有任何消息 她都快发疯了
And then you know what else?
你知道还有什么很糟糕吗
Lily succumbed to her injuries.
莉莉因伤去世了
- Your aunt Lily died? - No, the family pig.
-你莉莉姨妈去世了 -没有 是我家的猪
Aunt Lily was a...
莉莉姨妈是头
We named our daughter after a pig?
咱闺女是以头猪起名的啊
Could you just witness my pain instead of criticizing?
你能不能看看我的伤痛 暂时别抱怨了
I just want to be in touch with my family today.
我今天只想跟家人聊聊
Get all this tornado stuff behind me so I can enjoy...
忘掉该死的龙卷风 这样才能享受
the fabulous party you're planning for me!
你为我准备的超赞派对
Yeah! You gotta get outta here!
没错 赶紧走吧
- Okay. Hey, listen. Hey, Cam? - Yeah?
-好的 听着小卡 -咋了
You just call your family, tell them I said "Hi."
你就跟家人叙叙吧 帮我问好
And don't worry about being back at 6:00 on the dot.
也不用急着六点整准时回来啦
There's a little breathing room.
你可以先缓缓
Oh, what, are you kidding me?
什么 没搞错吧
The sooner I can start to party,
派对一嗨起
the sooner I can start to forget.
烦恼全忘掉
But then again.
但再说一遍
Hey, if you keep running from every reminder of the tornado,
如果你逃避跟龙卷风有关的一切
doesn't the tornado win?
那不就败给龙卷风了吗
Mitchell, my grandpa runs to his pickup truck every morning
米奇尔 我爷爷天天早上去看小货车
because he thinks the pitchfork is gonna come back down.
因为他觉得草耙随时会从天掉回
The tornado always wins.
龙卷风是不可战胜的
Okay, well, it's gonna be so much fun tonight!
好了 今晚肯定会非常开心的
I know! The big 1-0!
我知道 10岁大关
4-0!
40大关啦
Hey, Mitchell!
注意点 米奇尔
- I'm over here! - I could've hit you!
-我在这儿 -差点撞到你
But you didn't! I'm doing my "I love ya" dance.
但是没撞到 我在跳爱意舞
Okay, I'm doing my "I love you" car dance.
好的 我在开爱意车
Look at you!
瞧你
Stop that! Okay! Go!
别这样 好了 回去吧
This is dangerous.
太危险了
- Okay, okay. - Go.
-我不跳了 -回去吧
Get out of here, you.
你快开车吧
It's my birthday!
今天我过生日啦
All right, guys, come here. We need to talk.
好了各位 过来 咱们得谈谈
- There they are. - Stop rushing us!
-终于来了 -别催我们
Buddy, what's wrong?
小家伙 怎么了
Yes, you've been a little off all morning.
是啊 你整个早上都不在状态
I've been feeling a lot of stress lately.
最近我感到特有压力
My head's all foggy, and I'm kind of emotional.
脑袋昏沉沉的 而且有些情绪化
Oh. Well, I sure hope you feel better soon
希望你能很快好起来
'cause you really need your wits about you when you're trapezing.
玩"空中飞人"时 头脑要相当的清醒
This is weird because the three of us
真奇怪 因为我们三个
haven't exactly been feeling our best today either.
今天也感觉非常不舒服
Really?
真的吗
I can't find my other sock!
我找不到另一只袜子了
Try looking under the one you have one.
看看是不是穿一只脚上了
I am not you. I don't do that. See?
我不是你 不会这么蠢 看到没
Oh, god, I am you.
天啊 我和你一样蠢
Would you mind if we sat out trapezing?
我们不去玩"空中飞人"了 你不介意吧
- Really? - Yeah.
-是吗 -是啊
Are you sure? Okay.
你确定吗 好的
Why does he do that?
他为什么要这个样子
Every month.
每月如此
Yeah, I get a little moody,
没错 我是有点喜怒无常
but unrelentin physical discomfort
但身体不适的烦躁
will do that to a person.
就会让人这样
Doesn't he know
他知不知道
that tiptoeing around someone like they're crazy
他越是旁敲侧击 当我们疯子一样
makes them crazy?
越是令我们抓狂
All right, you and Manny go ahead.
好的 你跟曼尼去吧
- Luke can just stay here with us. - Wait. What?
-卢克不舒服就留下来 -等等 什么情况
Luke's actually looking better.
其实卢克看起来已经好多了
- I am better. - Well, let's not take any chances.
-我好些了 -还是稳妥点好
- He can stay here. You go ahead. - Dad?
-他在家休息 你们去吧 -爸
Daddy?
爸爸
See you later, buddy.
回见了 小家伙
What are we going to do?
我们怎么办
We leave no man behind.
不能让任何一个兄弟掉队
I think I'm just gonna go home.
我看我还是回家吧
We have time.
还有时间
Just take down the decorations and have a normal party.
撤掉这些布置 办一场普通派对
Yeah, and throw a boring party in our house
在自家办场闷死人派对
that looks like I just threw it together this afternoon?
一看就知道是今天下午仓促准备的
- Think! - Okay, we have a few options.
-动脑子 -有其它选择
I can get you the back room at Amelia's.
我可以在"阿米莉亚"餐厅给你弄到包间
Spilled juice on the owner's white rug
曾经把果汁洒在老板家白色地毯上
and almost killed her toddler. Next.
还差点害死她的小孩 再想
Bowling alley?
保龄球场
Not classy enough. What have you got?
不够有档次 你有什么想法
You're no help. You.
真没用 你说
Well, last weekend, I did a party on a boat.
上周末 我去船上参加了派对
You said you were visiting your parents.
你说你去看望爸妈了
You're suffocating me.
我需要离开你透透气
What's this boat? Tell me about the boat.
什么样的船 说清楚点
Okay, we did an elegant dinner party on a luxury yacht
我们在豪华游艇上举办了一场别致晚宴
for about 25 people.
参加人数大约25个
It takes you around the harbor, dancing under the moonlight.
可以在海湾转转 在月光下起舞
Okay, okay. Uh, maybe we can-- we can make a theme out of this.
好的好的 也许可以想个主题
You know, Cam's life is like a long voyage.
小卡的人生就是一次远航
Sometimes choppy but--but always forward, ever forward.
有时波涛汹涌 但永远一往直前
- We have two hours. - Book it.
-只有两小时 -快订吧
Hey, you survived trapeze class, huh?
你居然挺过了"空中飞人"
Didn't happen,
没去成
and common decency prevents me from telling you why.
本着基本的做人道理 我还是不说原因了
How was the soccer match?
足球比赛怎么样
Thrilling. 1-1 tie.
激动人心 一比一打平
One of the goals was an accident.
有个进球是个意外
I'm sure my mom was happy you went.
你去了我妈肯定很开心
I don't know what to make of her today.
我不知道她今天是怎么了
She got into it with this guy,
她和一个家伙杠上了
and I swear she was pushing me into a fight with him.
我肯定她有意怂恿我和那家伙打一架
Now is that something she'd want?
她现在喜欢暴力吗
I don't know.
我不知道
I always thought of women as the more evolved sex.
我一直以为女人进化得比男人成熟
But after today... I've seen things, Jay.
但是今天 我才真是大开眼界 杰
'Cause, you know, I had my share of fights in my time.
我年轻时可不是省油的灯
You know that.
知道不
It's too warm for me.
太烫了
Yeah, I remember this time I was crossing the street with Dede,
我记得有一次 我和迪迪过马路
and some jackass almost clipped her.
有个混蛋差点开车撞到她
I had the guy on the ground, my foot on his neck,
我把他揍到地上 脚踩在他脖子上后
before the car stopped moving.
他的车才停下来
Yeah, we've heard all those stories.
你的光荣历史大家都听过
Maybe my mom wouldn't mind a glimpse of that Jay.
也许一睹真汉子杰的风采 才是我妈的期望
That's her.
是我妈
She wants me to help pick out Cam's gift.
她要我帮忙去给小卡挑礼物
I'm still that guy, you know. 100%.
我还是原来的真汉子 百分百纯爷们儿
What the hell? How do you cut your finger on a cracker?
见鬼 怎么弄个饼干都把手划破了
Anyway, if I thought there was a fight worth fighting,
总之 如果我认为值得一战
I'd fight it.
我绝对会挺身一战
Ow! Now I got salt in this. That stings!
盐进伤口了 痛死了
Next time, don't scream at your boss
下次 别冲你老板大喊大叫
so that he doesn't make you work during the weekends.
这样他就不会让你周末工作了
Si. Adios.
好了 再见
Hey, mom. Who were you yelling at?
妈 你在骂谁呢
Your father, baby.
你老爸 宝贝
He cannot make it this weekend.
他这周末没空
Okay, I admit it.
好吧 我承认
I wanted Jay to kick that little dutch man's ass at the bar.
我希望杰在酒吧里猛揍那个荷兰佬一顿
But two seconds on the phone with Javier,
可在电话里和哈维尔讲了几句后
and I remember what that stupid hothead behavior gets you-
我意识到了冲动鲁莽的下场
Nothing.
没有好下场
It's better to be calm like Jay.
像杰这样冷静其实更好
Like Jay and me. Like Jay.
像杰和我那样冷静 好吧 我自觉排除在外
I'm back!
我回来了
Wouldn't you know, I forgot my ding-dang sunglasses.
谁会想到 我把帅呆了的太阳眼镜给忘了
Luke, could you give me a hand?
卢克 来给我搭把手行吗
What were the chances that Phil had come back to apologize
从来不奢望菲尔会回来 为他搞的那些花样
for all the game playing
向我道歉
and have an open conversation with me
然后跟我开诚布公地
about what I was feeling?
谈谈我的感受
Okay, I got a bottle of fake blood out of the Halloween supplies.
我去万圣节商店买了瓶假血
Put a dab on your finger, say you cut it.
在手指上抹一点 说你割到指头了
I say I need to run you by the doctor. Easy trapezy.
然后我说得带你去看医生 轻松当飞人
Got it?
知道了不
See ya on the other side, brother.
咱飞人天堂见 哥们
Just once, I would like Phil to have a little empathy,
一次也好 我希望菲尔能表示一下同情
give me some sense that he understands what women go through.
向我表达一下他理解女性的痛苦
You feeling any better?
你们感觉好点儿了没
Hate to see the whole team on the D.L.
真不愿看见我家姑娘们都这么窝着
Ow! My finger!
我的手指头
I don't like the sound of that.
听起来不妙啊
I said a little bit!
我说的是一点儿
The cap fell off. I decided to just go with it.
盖子掉了 然后我决定将计就计
Okay, we gotta get you out the back.
好吧 得先把你弄出去
- God, what happened?! - Oh, it's just a little cut.
-天啊 这是怎么了 -就一个小伤口
But to be safe, I'll run him by the doctor.
不过保险起见 我得带他去看看医生
No, are you crazy?! Call 9-1-1!
你疯了吗 得打急救电话
No, no, they're so busy.
不不 他们忙着呢
Where's the wound?! We need to put pressure on it, right?
伤口在哪 我们得按住伤口吧
- I'm gonna be sick! - My--my finger.
-我要吐了 -在指头上
Oh, he needs a tourniquet! Where do I put it?!
得给他上止血带 该往哪绑
- On my finger. - Stop! There is nothing wrong with him.
-我指头上 -住手 他什么事都没有
- Luke, what's going on? - I cut my finger?
-卢克 这是怎么回事 -我割到手指了
- Dad? - How crazy is that?
-老爸 -多神呐
They were in my pocket the whole time. I'll see you.
原来眼镜一直在我兜里 待会见
Phil!
菲尔
What is going on, Luke?
到底是怎么回事 卢克
Dad staged the whole thing
这一切都是老爸导演的
so we could go on the trapeze without you three.
好让我们去玩飞人 不带你们仨
Why?
为什么
Because...
因为
B-because...
因为
Because of this! You're all monster-ating!
就因为这个 你们都跟魔鬼一样
- Luke, no! - Are you kidding me?!Oh, my god! Oh, my lord.
-卢克别 -开什么玩笑 神啊
Sorry! I know you told me not to say it, but I...
抱歉 我知道你说过要严守党的机密 可我
Phil!
菲尔
Is this what you've been teaching our son?
你就是这样教儿子的吗
That--that women are some kind of unclean lepers
女人都是不干净的麻风病人
that should be hidden away under sheets for a week?
得在床单下隔离一周吗
Do you have any idea how offensive that it?
你知道这样有多冒犯吗
I do, honey.
我知道 亲爱的
And from the bottom of my heart,
我从内心深处表示
I am so...
我感到非常
s-s-scared.
害怕
Ugh! Oh, no!
不是吧
Oh, my.
老天
Okay.
好了
3, 2, 1!
三 二 一
Surprise!
惊喜
Oh, my gosh! Oh, it's amazing!
我的天 太不可思议了
- Yeah, it's a boat party. - Oh! Because?
-是船上派对 -用意何在
Your life is like a voyage.
你的人生就像一次远航
Oh! Well, everyone's is, but I love it
每个人不都是吗 不过我喜欢这个
because none of our other friends have ever done it.
我们的朋友都没玩过这个
Aw. That's so sweet.
太贴心了
Oh, it must be easy with no dirty, broken woman in the relationship.
感情关系里没有肮脏崩溃的女人一定很爽吧
What are you laughing at?
你笑什么笑
Okay, everybody follow the birthday flag!
大家跟着生日旗帜走
[flag也指同志]
What'd you call me? Oh. Uh, oh, yes.
你叫我什么 哦对
Oh, my gosh. It's so elegant. I'll bet Pepper is dying.
我的天 太优雅了 胡娇肯定嫉妒死了
Oh, you know, actually, Pepper couldn't come.
那个 实际上 胡娇没来
Because he hates boats. You know, after the navy.
因为他讨厌船 参加过海军的人 你懂的
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
对 对
I guess Longinus got over his fear of--of water?
我猜朗吉纳斯已经战胜了怕水的问题吧
Mnh. No, no.
不 不
Why don't we just focus on the 30 people who are here,
我们还是把注意力放在到场的30人吧
having a great time!
好好玩
Ew! It smells like somebody's dead.
恶 闻着有股死人味道
Ugh! What is that smell?
那是什么味道
That faint odor is-- is a tiny, tiny blue whale
那淡淡的味道来自于 一只小小的蓝鲸
who apparently has indeed died, uh, nearby.
倒确实是死在附近的
But...
不过呢
Si, but it's getting all over my coat.
搞的我外套上全是这个味
I don't smell anything.
我什么也闻不到
Maybe that's because you smell like a bouquet of flowers.
大概是因为你闻起来像是一捧花
Oh, yeah. Watch out for that.
对了 小心脚下
Ugh! It smells like puke married poop
这味道好像是呕吐物跟大便结婚
and had the ceremony in my nose.
然后在我鼻子里举行婚礼
You paint with words.
画面感太强了
Okay, don't worry, everybody.
好 大家别着急
Soon we'll be way, way out at sea, bouncing on the waves
马上我们就会远在海上 乘风逐浪
with all of his sweet-smelling brothers and sisters. Okay?
闻到的都是蓝鲸兄弟姐妹们的甜甜香气
- Mitchell Pritchett? - Oh, yes. Hi.
-米奇尔·普里契特 -是的 你好
Hi. I'm your captain tonight. We've got a problem.
你好 我是今晚的船长 我们遇到点问题
I can't fit this many people on my boat.
我没办法让这么多人上船
No, no. I was--I was told you could take 30.
不要吧 之前告诉我能载30人的
I have exactly 30 guests.
我刚好有30名客人
Plus six in help. You gotta drop a few people.
我有6名船员 你得留下几个人
Come on. There--there must be something that we can do here.
拜托 一定有点什么办法的
Well, we have bigger boats,
我们有大点的船
But this is the best I could do on two hours' notice.
不过提前两个小时订 就只有这个了
What is the problem?
有什么问题吗
Apparently,
很明显呢
Mitchell started planning my birthday party two hours ago.
米奇尔两小时前才开始筹划我的生日派对
Mnh-mnh. No. No, I-I did not.
不不 不是的
Uh, apparently, we have too many people for his boat.
显然 我们人太多不能上船
- So... - That's crazy.
-所以 -太扯了吧
I've seen more people clinging to a floating door.
我见过抓在一块门板上漂的人比这都多[偷渡]
I'm sorry, lady. It's a safety issue.
抱歉女士 这涉及到安全问题
Oh, no. You're going to have a safety issue
不 你如果不把我们从这臭鲸旁送走
if you don't take me away from this whale.
你就会有安全问题
Okay, little too much finger, little too much attitude.
不要指指点点 态度也不要这么恶劣
What's all this?
这是怎么了
Uh, two hours of Mitchell's hard work going down the drain.
米奇尔辛苦了两小时的成果就要化为乌有了
Look, I can't fit more than 30 people on the boat,
这船不能承载超过30个人
As I was just explaining to the lady here.
我在跟这位女士解释
Well, first of all, that "Lady" is my son.
注意了 你说的"女士"可是我的儿子
He wasn't talking about me.
他说的不是我
I was talking about her.
我说的是她
Oh. Her. Oh, it's "Her" now.
她 又变成"她"了
Well, "Her" happens to be my wife.
而她是我的老婆
You got a problem with her, you got a problem with me.
你跟她过不去 就是跟我过不去
No, no, Jay...
别这样 杰
- Calm down. - I didn't have a problem before,
-冷静 -我之前没跟谁过不去
but now I'm starting to.
现在老子就是要为难一下你们
No, your problem's about to get a lot bigger.
跟老子过不去你他妈的绝对没好下场
No, Jay, I know you think this is what I want, but it's not.
杰 你以为这是我想要的 其实不是
- I've got this, Gloria. - No, Jay.
-交给我处理 歌洛莉亚 -别这样 杰
I was just being stupid today. I like that you're calm,
今天是我犯傻了 我喜欢你那么冷静
that you think first, and you act second.
你总是三思而后行
I need that in my life.
我的生活需要这样的你
Yeah, so walk away, grandpa.
闪边去吧 爷爷
You know what?
说什么呢
Nobody call him "Grandpa"!
谁都不能叫他"爷爷"
I do.
我叫啊
Okay, that's it!
行了 够了
No boat! Everybody off my dock, or I'm calling the cops!
不许上船 所有人滚下去 否则我报警
So no party now?
现在连派对都没了吗
No! No, of course! Just...
不是 当然有 拜托...
Just... Just give me a minute okay?
拜托给我一分钟好吗
Oh, after what you did with two hours,
两小时做的都不过如此
- I can't wait to see what you do with a minute. - Cam!
-真等不及看你一分钟的成果 -小卡
Poor Cam. He seems so upset.
可怜的小卡 他好生气啊
Oh, is that hard for you, Phil,
你觉得难受吗 菲尔
That he's have a feeling around you?
就因为有情绪的人出现在你身边
- I'm so sorry. - Too many emotions?
-好抱歉哦 -好情绪化哦
Okay, okay, I give up!
好了 好了 我认输了
Yeah, I made a mistake today.
是的 今天我错了
But only because the three of you ganged up on me
那也是因为你们三个联合起来对付我
like when the wolfman, Dracula, and Frankenstein
就好像狼人 吸血鬼 科学怪人
show up in the same movie,
扎堆在一部电影里
except this wasn't awesome!
但绝不是以很酷的方式扎堆
I have been on an emotional roller coaster all day today.
我今天的情绪就跟翻江倒海似的
I'm afraid. I'm mad. I'm mad because I'm afraid,
我害怕 我生气 我生气因为我害怕
and now I can't even think straight
现在我脑袋都成浆糊了
because I'm in so much pain from what just happened over there!
因为刚刚绊的那一下让我好痛
And the whole thing makes me so sad, and I'm not even sure why,
这一切让我好伤心 我却不知道为什么
and I'm nauseous from that smell but I'm so hungry.
这臭味令我恶心 但是我却好饿
Yeah.
没事的
Cam, the--the boat wasn't even part of the plan.
小卡 我最初根本不是想办游船派对
No, it's fine.
没关系
It's my fault for letting my expectations get too high.
期望太高是我的错
- I'll get over this one, too. - No, no.
-这次我也不会计较的 -不不
I had this whole "Wizard of OZ" party planned,
其实我早就计划好了"绿野仙踪"主题派对
only today I realized that it might be
只不过我今天才意识到可能
a-a little too tornado-y.
太过"龙卷风"风格了
- Today? - Yes!
-今天 -是的
I'm sorry I-I didn't make the connection, okay?
抱歉我之前没想到这点
Probably 'cause I've been planning for months
可能是因为我精心计划了几个月
so that you could have the perfect party and be happy,
力图使你可以拥有完美的派对 可以开心
which now I don't even think is possible.
而现在我觉得根本没可能了
Oh, I'm sorry that I would like to have
我想拥有一个美好的
a nice 10th birthday party.
10岁生日派对是我的错
Well, you can't have it, Cam!
你不可能拥有 小卡
You wanna know why?! Because you're 40!
想知道原因吗 因为你40岁了
You're a 40-year-old man!
你是个40岁的大男人
I am 40.
我40了
- I'm 40. - Yes.
-我40了 -没错
Oh, Cam, stop it.
小卡 别这样
I'm 40 and I'm--I'm on this stupid--wait, what is that?!
我40了 而我却坐在这破...这什么东西
Oh, it's this...
这个
thing!
破玩意儿
Suddenly, it all made sense.
一下子 我开窍了
Cam's craziness all day wasn't about a party.
小卡整天的抓狂表现不是因为派对
it was about turning 40.
而是因为他40岁了
And once he realized that, everything got much worse.
一旦他意识到这点 情况变得更糟糕
- I've done nothing with my life! - Oh, w--stop it.
-我根本一事无成 -别这样
Come on. How--how can you say that?
别这样 怎么能这样说呢
You're--you're a wonderful father. You...
你是个好父亲 你...
You--you graduated from clown college.
你从小丑大学毕业了
You've been to France.
你去过法国
I don't want to be 40. It's not fair!
我不想要40岁啦 好不公平
- I know. - Nothing's fair.
-我了解 -世上本就没公平可言
2 miles from here is an amusement park
两英里外就是个游乐园
full of happy families swgiging on a trapeze.
挤满了玩"空中飞人"的欢乐家庭
That's all I wanted for my special bonus day.
四年才多出的一天 我只有这个小小要求
What?
什么
I'd been trying so hard
我绞尽脑汁
to figure out what Cam wanted for his birthday.
想琢磨出小卡生日到底想要什么
He'd been telling me all along.
其实他一直都在告诉我
He wanted to be 10.
他只想要10岁
Seriously? There's nothing you can do?
真的吗 你没有办法吗
I'm sorry. You just missed the cutoff.
抱歉 到结束时间了
How about we see you next time?
不如下次再来玩吧
How about you make an exception and strap him in there?
不如你破个例 让他上去飞飞
Yeah, we're, like,ten minutes past your deadline, anyway.
是啊 我们不就迟了10分钟嘛
And you don't want to make us angry today.
你今天最好别惹我们
- Ladies, uh, I really can't make any exceptions. - "Ladies"?
-女士们 没法破例 -女士们
And that was how they apologized to me.
这就是她们向我道歉的方式
Come on, Phil!
加油 菲尔
Oh, god, Phil!
天啊 菲尔
You did it!
你成功了
At least, I-I think it was. I could never ask them.
我想应该是道歉吧 我不好意思开口问
This is so satisfying!
感觉太爽了
Best I've felt all day!
今天就这时候感觉最爽
Can I rent one of these on a monthly basis?
我可以每月租一次这个吗
Yes!
太棒了
Oh, yay!
好耶
Best 40th birthday party ever.
最开心的40岁生日派对
No, no. 10th.
不不 10岁
- Really? - Yeah.
-可以吗 -可以
In fact, you're still that sexy little 8 year old
事实上 你还是那个我爱上的
I fell in love with.
性感8岁小男孩
No, just go.
算了 走吧