摩登家庭 第三季 Modern Family Season 3 第18集: 小丑出动 Send Out the Clowns

上映日期: 2,011

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 杰森·维纳

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里德·尤因 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格


台词
This week, the world lost a great man,
本周 地球上少了一位伟人
and I lost a mentor.
而我也失去了一位良师
For nearly 60 years, Professor Ringmaster Al Uzielli
近60年来 "马戏王"教授艾尔·尤兹利
helped young hopefuls like me find their clown persona.
帮助像我一样有天赋的年轻人 找到自己的小丑形象
"Professor Ringmaster"?
"马戏王"教授
It's a very prestigious title at clown college.
那在小丑学校可是威望很高的头衔
One step below Piemaster General.
仅次于"派王"将军
Where's Lewis?
路易斯在哪儿
Who knows?
谁知道呢
Okay, guys, it's just us.
好了 各位 就咱们吧
Lift on three.
响三声一起抬
家 庭
摩 登
第三季 第十八集
Hey, how come you guys haven't accepted my friend requests?
你们怎么没接受我的好友请求呢
I didn't know you were on facebook.
我都不知道你还玩Facebook
Yeah. You said it was only for teenagers
没错 你说只有青少年
and people looking to have affairs.
或是想"约炮"的才玩那个
Well, I figured if you can't fight it...
我发觉要是你抵抗不了诱惑
not the having the affair. That's still bad.
不是说"炮友"的诱惑 搞外遇是不对的
No. Not that, but there's nothing wrong with catching up
不 不是那个 可想和老朋友叙叙旧
with a few old friends, right?
也没有错 对吧
Or doing a little social networking with by B.F.F.S?
或者和至交好友社交网络一把
Social networking or social not-working?
是社交网络还是社交无能啊
Oh! You know what we gotta do?
咱们应该这么做
We gotta get a picture of us all together on a boat.
大家一起在船上拍张照
I think that's a thing now.
我觉得现在正流行这个
So what do you say? Accept my friend thingy.
怎么样 接受我的好友请求吧
Sorry, mom, I-I didn't get a friend thingy from you.
抱歉了妈 我没收到你的好友请求
Yeah, you know, they have a lot of blocks on there
那网站为了保护孩子不被变态骚扰
to protect kids from weirdos.
设置了很多屏障
Mm. Okay. Good, good. I'll send it again.
好吧 好吧 我会再发一次的
- Great. - Please do.
-好极了 -一定要发哦
Please don't.
千万别发啊
We got her request the first time, but ignored it.
我们收到了她的请求 不过把它忽略了
I can't have her on there snooping around
我可不能让她在网上探听
seeing what I'm doing at parties.
我在派对上的所作所为
Or posting pictures of us on family vacations
或者上传我们全家去度假时穿着
wearing old, dorky clothes.
过时又傻气的衣服拍的照片
What? What's wrong with this?
干嘛 我这件又怎么了
Dad, check it out. I made one giant Oreo.
老爸快看 我做了个巨无霸的奥利奥
Luke, what are you doing?
卢克 你这是干嘛啊
You gotta eat it like it's an ear of corn.
你该像啃玉米棒子那么吃才对
Genius.
太有才了
- Wow. New suit? - New everything.
-哇 新西装啊 -一切都是新的
Kids, gather 'round. It's time for a life lesson.
孩子们 围过来 人生讲座的时间到了
Aren't we already gathered?
我们不是都在这儿了吗
Let me tell you something.
让我来告诉你们
Hard work, determination, and perseverance always win out.
努力 决心 坚持 就是成功三秘诀
I am living proof that nice guys can finish first.
好人也能成功 我就是活生生的证据
Today I have a chance to get the biggest listing of my career.
今天我将有机会接到我职业生涯中最大的一笔代理
Oh, I have never seen this man so focused.
我从未见过他如此全力以赴的样子
I'm like a boxer before the big fight.
我就像是大赛前夕的拳击手
That's why I didn't have sex with Claire last night.
所以我昨晚都没和克莱尔做爱
Sorry, honey.
抱歉哦 亲爱的
Mm. It's--it's okay.
不 没关系
But as soon as I get this listing--ding!
不过只要我拿到了代理 马上就能 顶
Let's just stop. Stop.
别说了 别说了
I see you.
我都瞧见了
What? I'm scratching.
啥 我挠痒痒而已
Hey, mom?
妈妈
Is it okay if I have a friend come over tomorrow?
我明天能让朋友来家里玩吗
Who? Reuben? Or the nervous one that gets the nosebleed?
谁 罗本吗 还是一紧张就流鼻血的那个
It's Griffin Cooper.
是格里芬·库普
Griffin Cooper?
格里芬·库普
Griffin Cooper is, by far,
格里芬·库普是至今为止
the coolest kid in Manny's grade.
曼尼年级中最酷的孩子
He's a terrific athlete, he's confident.
他是个运动健将 充满自信
Manny's a great kid, sure, but he's not exactly cool.
当然 曼尼也是个好孩子 可是他算不上酷
He can't even open a door cool.
他连开个门都很二逼
Salutations, Wyatt. I'm so glad you're joining me
您好啊 怀亚特 真高兴你能来和我共度
for an afternoon of mirth.
一个充满欢乐的下午
Ah, good evening, Reuben-san.
晚安 罗本桑
May I ask you to remove your shoes?
请你脱鞋好吗
Tonight, we are going Japanese.
今晚我们走日系风
*()&……*……&……*()* Ah! Hebalaboo ridabeley lai mubay rumboo.
I invented a new language this morning.
我今早发明了一种新的语言
When did you guys become buddies?
你们什么时候变成好朋友的
Was it a football game in the yard?
是在打橄榄球时
- You made a great catch? - No, that didn't happen.
-你接了个好球吗 -不 没有那种事
[Catch一词多意:接球/抢手货]
But the librarian told me one day I'll be a great catch.
不过图书馆馆长说我以后会是抢手货的
I'm really not getting that relationship.
我真是没搞懂他们的关系
Why can't you just be happy that Manny's making new friends?
你怎么就不能为曼尼交到新朋友而高兴呢
No. 'cause it doesn't add up.
可这事根本说不通啊
Cool kids like Griffin Cooper--
像格里芬·库普那样的酷小孩
They don't hang out with kids like Manny.
可不会和曼尼这样的闷货玩在一起
Manny's very cool.
曼尼也很酷好不好
Maybe those kids are finally catching up to him.
也许那些孩子终于能理解曼尼那"高深的酷"了
Wait a minute. I get it.
等等 我懂了
Couple of days last week,
前几天
I took Manny to school on my motorcycle.
我骑摩托车载曼尼去上学
Griffin must think I'm pretty boss.
格里芬肯定觉得我屌爆了
Yes, Jay. It's all because of you.
没错 杰 都是冲着你来的
Kids are looking for role models.
小孩子就是在寻找偶像和榜样
[美剧《Happy Days》中的热门角色]
Why do you think Fonzie was so popular?
不然你觉得为啥方茨那么受欢迎
He told people that they were rich,
他让人们觉得自己很有钱
but really took their money with his scheme?
其实却用计偷走了他们的钱
No, that's a...
不 才不是那样
Yes.
你说得对
Those people were victims of a Fonzie scheme.
那些人是"方氏骗局"的受害者
It's showtime.
好戏即将开场
Hey, Dunphy.
嘿 邓菲
You gettin' ready for your one-woman show?
准备好你的"独女戏"了吗
Mitzi.
米茨
Mitzi Roth-- a notorious poacher
米茨·罗斯 高档房地产世界中
in the world of high-end residential real estate.
臭名昭著的抢食者
[取自电影《A Nightmare on Elm Street猛鬼街]
We call her the "Nightmare on Elm Street,"
我们叫她"榆树街的猛鬼"
Because she sold a lot of houses on Elm Street.
因为她卖了许多榆树街上的房子
What are you doing here, Mitzi?
米茨 你来干嘛
I have an appointment. This is my listing.
我约了人 此房归我代理了
Oh, I didn't think that was dotted line yet, jazz hands.
我看这事还没准吧 小哥
No worries. I may have an interested buyer.
别担心 我可能有个客户有兴趣
I'll bring him to you.
我会介绍给你的
Really?
真的吗
Okay, but could you come back later?
好吧 但你能不能待会再回来
I really need to have them to myself right now.
我现在得去见他们了
Oh, yeah, okay. I completely understand.
好的 没问题 我完全理解
- Okay, thanks. - You're welcome.
-谢谢 -不客气
Wait. What?
慢着 搞毛
What are you doing?
你这是干什么
Watch this.
看我的
- Hello? - Oh, it's Mitzi Roth.
-喂 -喂 我是米茨·罗斯
- And Phil Dunphy. - I may have a prospective buyer
-还有菲尔·邓菲 -我有个买家
for your beautiful house.
有点想买你家房子
- I was wondering if maybe I could come in... - Hey, Stan! Hey, Patti!
-请问能否让我进屋 -嘿 斯坦 嘿 帕蒂
and just have a look for a little while.
能让我进屋参观一下吗
- We've got a lot to talk about. - Come on in.
-我们有很多事要谈 -请进吧
Hey, guys. Yeah.
喂 哥们 是我
I'm wondering if maybe we shouldn't be alone for this.
我想着多个人给点意见总是好的
I'm in.
我进来了[我要搅局]
Go back to condos, Dunphy.
邓菲 你继续在低端市场打拼吧
Oh, my god! This place is absolutely gorgeous.
我的天呐 你们家房子太美了
Stunning. Stunning.
迷人 惊艳
- You are in such good hands with Phil. - Hey.
-菲尔帮你们干得不错嘛 -嘿
How are you guys?
你们好
I mean, fingers crossed, though.
虽然我真心希望它们好
You know, so many new companies go belly-up.
但我得告诉你 很多新公司都经营不善
- Terrible. - Well, good to-- good to see you, Mitzi.
-糟透了 -好吧 米茨 你可以走了
- Guys, how are you? - Oh, no. No, no, it's fine.It's fine.
-你们好 -没事没事 不用走
Come and take a look.
进屋看看吧
Oh, thank you.
谢谢你
- Thank you. - Mitzi, please!
-谢谢 -米茨 别捣乱
Mitzi, please! Please!
米茨 求你了 求你了
- What are you doing? - Oh, my god! He shoved me!
-你这是干嘛 -老天啊 他推我
- What?! - He shoved me!
-什么 -他推我
- For god sakes! Phil! - Oh, my god!
-菲尔 你搞毛啊 -天啊
I thought you had your anger problem under control!
我还以为你能控制好脾气
I don't have an anger...
我根本没脾气
I don't--anger problem.
我没发脾气
I don't have an anger problem.
我脾气可好了
Whoa. Hey. It's over? What the hell?
慢着 喂 就完了 搞什么啊
You're an hour late.
你迟到一小时了
Huh. Good to see you, too, chuckleberry.
见到你真好 傻大个
Look at that. Your oversized pants are starting to fit.
快看 你那肥裤现在穿着也合身了嘛[发福]
Hello, Lewis.
你好 路易斯
Hello, Fizbo.
你好 菲兹宝
For several years,
有那么几年
I was one half of the renowned clown duo
我俩组了个很有名的小丑二人组
Fizbo & Lewis.
叫"菲兹宝与路易斯"
We were huge.
当时可有名了
In children's parties.
儿童中的名人
Anyway, I disbanded the group shortly after I met Mitchell.
在认识米奇尔不久后 我就退出了
It's hard to have a relationship and a clown career.
同时谈恋爱和演小丑实在太难了
That's the reason there are so many single clowns.
所以许多小丑演员都是单身
Just one of the reasons.
只是原因之一啦
Anyway, um, Lewis hasn't spoken to me since.
从此 路易斯再没理过我
He's still bitter, and I don't blame him.
他还生我的气 但我不怪他
It's kind of like I broke up the Beatles.
就像是因我导致甲壳虫乐队解散
Of children's parties.
儿童版的甲壳虫
What do you say we hit a bar?
要不一起去酒吧聚聚吧
Tip a few back to Al, huh?
缅怀一下艾尔
I heard you were in jail.
听说你坐牢了
Yeah? I heard you're still doing that lame giant scissors bit,
是吗 我听说你仍在表演大剪刀的傻逼把戏
You blue-haired hack.
你个蓝发傻帽
Who's in?
谁来
- I'll go. - I'll go.
-我去 -我去
Just give me a minute. I gotta redo my lips.
等我一会儿 我去补补妆
All right. Cerveza.
好的 萨维泽
What about you, Fizzy?
你来吗 菲仔
You gonna come or you gonna break up this party, too?
你是来呢 还是让大家都散伙呢
Hey, shotgun, bitches!
喂 上车吧 傻逼们
I should, you know, probably go.
我还是 还是去吧
- You know, for--for Al. - Oh, yeah, no, of course.
-你懂的 为了艾尔 -当然
But, hey, listen, don't let him get to you, all right?
不过 别让他为难你 好吗
No. It's fine. It's all seltzer under the bridge.
没事儿 一切都已经过去了 只是喝杯酒
Just one drink, and then I'll be home.
就喝一杯 然后就回家
Okay. Just drive me home first?
好的 你先送我回家吗
No, you, uh, you--you take the car.
不不 你把车开走吧
I, uh, I'll go with the guys.
我跟他们一起走
In that tiny car? How are you all possibly gonna...
就那小车 怎么挤得下啊
Forget I asked!
当我没说过
It's 5:00 in the morning.
才早上五点啊
Daddy's juggling!
爸爸在玩杂耍
Lily, honey, what are you doing up?
莉莉 你在那上面干嘛
Are you just getting home?
你刚到家吗
Yeah, things got a little out of hand.
是的 情况有点失控了
Somebody had a flower that squirted tequila.
有人龙舌兰酒喝多了
What do you mean "Somebody"? I want full credit.
什么叫"有人" 请叫我大名
What up, red?
有事吗 红毛
Really?
不是吧
Teach me to juggle!
教我玩杂耍
It's very simple.
很简单
The key is to
诀窍在于
be aware of where everything is at all times.
时刻小心别撞到旁边的东西
And don't forget the importance of balance! Oh!
而且别忘了要保持平衡
Okay. Okay. Come on.
好了 好了 别闹了
I think I cracked my eggs.
我的蛋蛋撞破了
We're out of eggs?
我们没蛋了吗
Are you yolking?
开什么玩笑
And I haven't eaten in five days!
我五天没吃蛋了
Five days! Are you cereal?
五天啦 你不是"片"我吧[麦片]
Lily, don't ever do that.
莉莉 千万别学他
Okay. You two are deliberately not confirming me.
好啊 你俩是故意不加我好友的
Everybody else has accepted my facebook requests--
其他人都接受我的好友请求了
Your father, uncle Mitchell...
你们老爸 米奇尔舅舅
Adele.
阿黛尔
That's right. Adele has agreed to be my friend,
没错 阿黛尔都接受我的好友申请了
And my own daughters haven't.
我亲生闺女都不加我
Yeah, you may just be a fan of Adele, and--
是啊 你大概只是一个阿黛尔的歌迷
What is so private that I can't possibly see it?
到底是有多私密的东西不能让我看啊
Nothing.
什么都没有
Nothing. You just don't want to be my friend.
什么都没 所以就是打心底不想加我
Great. I can see my next status update--
很好 我知道下一个状态该怎么更新了
"My daughters are monsters."
"我家闺女是禽兽"
You're not gonna believe this.
真是难以置信
Mitzi got the listing.
米茨抢到了那房的代理
Oh, no, honey. That's awful.
哦不亲爱的 太糟糕了
She cheated, she lied, and she won.
她使阴招 说瞎话 无耻取胜
Kids, gather 'round.
大家围过来
Again, we are gathered.
再说一遍 我们也没离很远
You wanna get ahead? Don't play by the rules.
想要出人头地 就别按规矩办事
Turns out nice guys finish last
才发现好人一般没好报
In this cold, dog-eat-dog world.
冰冷无情 弱肉强食的世界啊
It's not fair. Why don't you play dirty, too?
不公平啊 你为什么不也玩点阴的
You could take her down.
凭你拿下她还不容易
Honey, 'cause your dad is a better man than that.
宝贝 因为你家老爸不是那么卑鄙的人
He has values and morals and--
他有高尚的价值观 道德观..
You. Keep talking.
你 接着说
Well, just off the top of my head,
好的 我首先能想到的就是
You could take my spy pen and record her admitting what she did.
你可以用我的间谍笔录下她供认的罪状
And then you could play it for those people
然后你再拿去播给那些人听
So they realize what a jerk she is.
让他们知道她是多混蛋的一人
Your dad is never gonna
你们老爸是绝对不会
- do that-- - you're a regular chatterbox today!
-那样做的 -你今天真是个唠叨婆
Get me that pen!
赶紧把那笔给我
- I got it! - Remember, pal, keep it simple.
-我来开门 -记住 小子 别太夸张
Hey, Manny.
嘿 曼尼
Griffin--legendary creature of greek mythology
格里芬 希腊神话里的传奇生物
With the head of a lion and wings of an eagle.
有着狮子的头颅和老鹰的翅膀
What'd you say, Jay?
这不夸张吧 杰
Never mind.
当我没说
Jay Pritchett. Nice to meet you.
在下杰·普里契特 很高兴见到你
Nice to meet you, too.
我也很高兴见到你
You know, I, I saw a little of that basketball game of yours last week.
上周我去看了你们学校的篮球赛
You were lightin' it up.
你小子可是闪亮全场啊
Thanks.
过奖
I was lighting it up, too, Jay.
我当时也"闪亮"了全场 杰
Who's hot? We're hot!
谁最闪亮 我最闪亮
Mustangs are hot!
野马队最闪亮
Hola, Griffin. How are you?
好啊 格里芬 最近可好
13.
我13岁
I'm fine.
我挺好的
So what do you boys have planned for today?
你们俩小男子汉今天准备干些什么啊
Well, it's kind of a surprise for Griffin,
这个嘛 算是给格里芬的一个惊喜
But let's just say it involves decoupage.
不过小小透露下和剪纸工艺有关
- Oh, jeez. - Come on. Let's go.
-哦 天啊 -来吧 咱们走
Good-bye.
待会儿见
Oh, no.
不好
- What? - You were right.
-怎么了 -你说得对
This boy is not here to see Manny.
那个男孩来这儿不是为了见曼尼
I told you. You see the way he looks at me?
早跟你说了 注意到他看我的眼神了不
No, Fonzie, the way he looks at me.
少来 方茨 注意到他看我的眼神了吗
He couldn't talk. He kept staring.
话都说不出来 俩眼直勾勾的
He was just like my teachers back in school.
他就像我上学那会儿班上的老师一样
Gloria, you're very pretty.
歌洛莉亚 我知道你很美
But the kid idolizes me.
但我才是那小子的偶像
Really?
是吗
Griffin! Manny!
格里芬 曼尼
Do you want to go with Jay to ride his motorcycle,
你们是想和杰一起去骑他的摩托车
Or you want to go with me to the supermarket
还是想和我一起去超市
And buy a couple of onions?
买点洋葱回来
Motorcycle rides!
骑摩托车
Onions sound good.
洋葱听起来不错
Guess he has a thing for you, too.
我想他对你也有点意思吧
Hey! We're back!
嘿 我们回来啦
Hey, I-I just finished cleaning the kitchen,
嘿 我...我可才把厨房收拾干净
So if anyone has to do a spit take,
你们谁要是还想表演喷水的戏码
Please do it over the sink.
麻烦到水池那去
We felt really bad about that, so we got you a present.
那天实在不好意思 这个礼物是给你的
What--what's the deal with this?
这...这又在耍什么花样呢
I open it up and snakes fly out, or a fire?
我一打开就蹦出来一条蛇 还是一团火
No, we just know that you like to read.
不 我们只是觉得你热爱阅读
Yeah. So open it.
是啊 赶紧打开吧
Aah! Got him!
哈 捉弄成功
No. No. That's exactly what I expected.
没有 这场景完全是在我的意料之内
'member, when I told you?
忘了吗 我刚说什么来着
Okay. Look, it's almost go time,
好了 时候不早要上路了
So we should have a shot and go white up.
我们该先去喝一杯 然后把脸白上
I'm sor--excuse me. "White up"?
我没听错吧 "把脸白上"
Oh, yeah. Lewis got a call to do a birthday party this afternoon,
是啊 路易斯下午接到一个生日宴的活
So we're gonna put the old act back together.
所以我们准备将老把戏都再耍起来
Yeah, Fizbo & Lewis, together again.
对 菲兹宝和路易斯 二丑归来
And they said it would never happen.
别人都说这是不可能的事情
Said. Hoped.
说 且希望如此
Could I talk to you for a second?
能和你单独聊一会儿吗
Uh-oh. Trouble in queer-a-dise.
不妙 "基堂里的烦恼"
Okay, look, gonna go out to the car for smokes.
好吧 我去车里和香烟共享私密时间了
Please tell me "Smokes" is not another clown,
你别跟我你们车里有个小丑叫"香烟"
'cause I don't think I could handle another one of him.
再来一个他这样的我可受不了
Oh, Lewis is not that bad.
路易斯没那么讨人厌
Well, what do you see in that guy, Cam?
那你觉得他有什么优点 小卡
I don't know. Maybe the fact that
说不清 我只知道
he doesn't roll his eyes every time I talk about the art of clowning...
每当我谈起小丑艺术时 他从不会对我翻白眼
Like that.
说的就是你
He may have had his faults
他或许的确有很多缺点
but we were great together.
不过我们搭档超棒的
We had an unspoken language.
我们总能心有灵犀
We finished each other's balloon animals.
我们互相帮助对方吹充气动物
But you would never know,
不过你怕是永远不懂
Because you have never been to one of our performances.
因为我们的表演你可是一场也没去过
Birthday parties.
生日聚会罢了
You hate my clown side.
你讨厌我的小丑身份
No. No. No. I don't hate it.
不不 我并不是讨厌
Just admit it. I basically already know you do.
就承认了吧 我基本已经确定了
Okay. Okay. Cards on the table.
好吧 好吧 把话挑明了
- It's not my favorite thing that you-- -Oh, how dare you?
-我确实不是太喜欢你... -你真无礼
I am a clown. It's who I am!
我是个小丑 那是我的身份之一
If you squeeze me, do I not honk?
你捏我的时候 我会不叫吗
Eye roll!
又翻白眼了
Oh, like I had a choice!
我有得选吗
Knock, knock.
敲敲 敲敲
What are you doing here?
你来干嘛
Hey, um, I-I brought you some... soup.
我给你带了些 汤
You know, I thought about it, and maybe I did push you.
那个 我想了想 可能我确实是推了你
So... how's the ankle?
脚踝怎么样了
Oh, come on, Dunphy. You know I flopped.
拜托 邓菲 你明知道我是假摔
Haven't you ever seen an NBA game?
你是没看过NBA吗
Oh, I'm sorry. In your case, WNBA.
抱歉 你看的该是女子NBA才对
So that was all a ruse?
所以那只是个骗局
The oldest trick in the book.
"诡计书"里最老的一招了
You need to step up your game, son.
你得提高"技术"啊 孩子
You know what? I almost feel sorry for you.
你知道吗 我都要为你感到难过了
Come here. Give me a big hug.
过来 好好拥抱一下
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
好了
No hard feelings, huh?
你没有很不爽吧
- None at all. - Good.
-一点没有 -那好
Because I just recorded your entire confession...
因为我刚刚把你整个的招供
right here on my...
都录在了我的
Spy pen?
间谍笔上
Second-oldest trick in the book.
"诡计书"里第二老的招数
Oh, god. A real man would have just poisoned the soup.
老天 你要是个爷们 就直接在汤里下毒了
Are we... done here?
说完了吗
Ah. Thank you.
谢谢你
Hey, mom. Guess what?
妈妈 告诉你
Griffin invited us all over to his house
格里芬邀请我们今晚都去他家
for a pool party and barbecue tonight.
参加泳池派对和烧烤
Pool party, huh?
泳池派对哈
Yeah, and he said bring your swimsuits.
他说带上你们的泳衣
He was pretty adamant about it.
说的还很坚决
It's 50 degrees outside.
外面气温就10摄氏度
Sounds fun.
听起来不错
Great. I'll call him.
太好了 我去给他打电话
You know, you're basically agreeing to a date with a 13-year-old boy.
你这基本上是答应了跟一个13岁男孩约会
Jay, we use this go get us tables at restaurants,
杰 靠我的大胸 我们得以在餐厅订到位置
Why can't we use this to get Manny a friend?
为什么就不能靠这个给曼尼搞个朋友呢
Because he's not really getting a friend.
因为他并不真的能得到一个朋友
Oh, but when you thought that
可当你之前以为
he was trying to ride your motorcycle, it was okay.
他是想骑你的摩托车的时候 就没问题是吧
Maybe now I don't like what he's trying to ride.
或许是他现在想"骑"的东西让我不爽
Manny likes Griffin.
曼尼喜欢格里芬
Maybe someday, if they spend enough time together,
可能哪天 如果他俩相处的时间够长
Griffin will like manny.
格里芬会喜欢曼尼呢
What? Griffin doesn't like me?
什么 格里芬不喜欢我
No, no, no, papi. He loves you.
不不 宝贝儿 他很喜欢你
But you just said someday Griffin will like me.
可你刚刚说有一天他会喜欢我的
That means he doesn't like me now.
那就说明他现在不喜欢我
You know what, kid?
告诉你吧 孩子
We think that Griffin might be hanging out with you
我们在想格里芬跟你在一起玩
because he's got a little crush on your mother and me.
可能是因为他喜欢你妈妈和我
- On you? - Wow. I can't believe it.
-还有你 -哇 我简直不敢相信
- Listen, it's fine. You're gonna be fine. Okay? - I'm sorry.
-听着 这没什么 你会没事的 -真抱歉
Are you kidding? It's fantastic!
开什么玩笑 简直太好了
How is it fantastic?
这怎么就太好了
I'm only hanging out with him
我跟他在一起玩
because I have the hots for his sister chloe.
只是因为我喜欢他妹妹克洛伊
You've met Griffin. The kid's a doorknob.
你们也见过格里芬了 他就是个蠢蛋
So you're just using him?
所以你是在利用他
Yeah, and I felt really guilty about it until now.
是啊 而且直到刚才 我还觉得挺愧疚的
Now it's a win-win.
现在是双赢了
Not for me!
对我来说可不是
Just suck it up, mom.
你就忍忍吧 妈妈
I've done a lot for you over the years.
多年来我为你做的够多了
Jay, you, too. This girl could be the one.
杰你也是 那女孩可能就是我的真命天女
Then I'm out of your hair forever.
以后我再也不会烦你们了
Pool party, mom. Dress accordingly.
泳池派对哦 妈妈 穿着适当点
Can you help me reach that box of cereal?
你能帮我拿一下那盒麦片吗
Hey. You're Mitzi Roth.
嘿 你是米茨·罗斯
I recognize you from your ads.
我看过你的广告
Smokin', right?
是不是很性感
I'm Luke Dunphy.
我是卢克·邓菲
My dad's Phil Dunphy.
我爸是菲尔·邓菲
I'm sorry.
真抱歉
Why do you hate him so much?
你为什么那么讨厌他
It's just business, kid. It's not personal.
生意场上皆敌人 孩子 并不是针对你爸
Well, it's personal to us.
可你影响到我们家了
I've never seen my dad so worried before.
我以前没见过我爸那么担心过
I have this spy pen,
我用间谍笔窃听
and I heard him talking to my mom,
听到他跟我妈谈话
and he's scared about paying for my sister's college next year.
他很担心明年付不起我姐姐的大学学费
And I guess he's nervous about some kind of party,
貌似他还在担心什么派对
Because he said there's a big balloon payment.
因为他说到有个什么气球付款
[Balloon Payment贷款中的期末大笔还款]
Anyways, he's like the best dad ever,
总而言之吧 他简直就是最好的爸爸
So maybe you could be a little nicer to him.
所以你是不是能对他稍微好点
There you are, buddy.
你在这呢 孩子
Check it out. They're giving away free jelly beans.
看看 他们在派送免费糖豆
Hey, Mitzi.
嗨 米茨
Dunphy.
邓菲
You have a very nice kid there.
你儿子可真乖
He's mine.
他是我的
Hey, so I was thinking after, uh, little Fizbo,
我在想 在演过小菲茨宝之后
We could do the ladder bit.
我们可以演梯子那个
Ah, crap. I forgot the ladder.
我去 我都忘了那梯子了
You know, I'll remember it next weekend.
下周末我会记得的
What's next weekend?
下周末是什么
We got a town fair in Thousand Oaks
我们在千橡市有个演出
and a birthday party in Pasadena.
以及帕萨迪纳市有场生日会
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I-I can't do that.
说什么呢 我没法去
W-what do you mean?
你什么意思
I'm the one with outstanding warrants in Pasadena.
帕萨迪纳警方要抓的人可是我
We're taking Lily to the aquarium next weekend.
下周末我们要带莉莉去水族馆
You know, Lewis, this was just a onetime thing, right?
路易斯 你知道合作仅此一次 对吗
What happened to "We're putting the act back together"?
不是说好"我们双丑合璧 再战江湖"吗
Well, that was just for today.
只是对今天而言
Oh. Oh, sure.
噢 当然了
- I'm--I'm sorry if you thought... - No, no, no.
-我很抱歉让你误会 -不用
I get it.
我理解
You're a family man now.
你现在是居家男人
Let's go out there and make this
我们出去让此次表演成为
the best show Fizbo & Lewis have ever done.
菲茨宝 & 路易斯秀史上最精彩的一场
You got it, partner.
没问题 搭档
Ladies and germs, boys and girls,
女士们细菌们 男生们女生们
say hello to my good friend...
来见见我的好朋友
little Fizbo!
小菲茨宝
Hello, big people!
大家好 巨人们
Hi!
你好
Let's get this party started!
派对开始啦
Wow, all this dancing sure has made me hungry!
跳舞让我觉得好饿啊
Wish I had something to eat!
要是有东西吃就好了
Oh, forgot I had that fish over there.
忘了那边有条鱼
Don't know why he's so mad at me!
搞不懂他为何如此生我的气
He was fine just a minute ago.
刚才还好好的
Ohh! Okay!
噢 好吧
Somebody's a little punchy today!
某人今天出拳很猛啊
Oh. Hey.
干什么
What's the frying pan doing here?
怎么有煎锅在这里
When did we add a frying pan to the act?
什么时候表演需要煎锅的
We don't need-- nope! Don't need the frying pan!
不需要 不 不需要煎锅
Why are you doing that? Stop doing that.
你为什么要打我 别打了
Screw you, you traitor.
去死吧 叛徒
Ow! That hurts!
很疼好吧
Seriously, stop it!
说真的 住手
Know what hurts? Abandonment.
知道什么疼吗 被抛弃才疼
Listen to 'em laughing. We could have been something.
听听他们的笑声 我们本可以出名的
We could have been some-- I can't do this bit by myself!
我们本可以红起来的 我一人可成不了笑星
Somebody! Somebody! This isn't pretend!
来人啊 来人啊 这不是表演
Someone grab an adult, please!
快去找个大人来 快啊
Mitzi.
米茨
Your kid forgot his cereal.
你儿子忘了拿麦片
There's a surprise in every box.
每盒都有意外小礼物
Spoiler alert-- it's diabetes.
剧透下 吃多得糖尿病
You drove all the way over here for this?
你大老远开车来就为了送这个
Okay, look, here's the deal.
好吧 听我说
You can have that listing if you want it.
如果你想要 那家代理归你了
- What? - Yeah, the couple are a real pain.
-什么 -那对夫妻很难应付
I'm too old for that kind of headache.
我已经老得经不起这样的折腾
Just keep your mouth shut about it.
你别到处宣传就行
- Thank you so much. - I just said "Zip it"!
-太谢谢你了 -我刚说了闭嘴
- Oh. You did. - Unbelievable.
-噢 是说过了 -真够白痴
I'm so sorry. But thank you.
对不起 谢谢了
Bye!
回见
Kids, gather 'round!
孩子们 集合了
We are right here!
我们就在这里
Let me tell you something-- people are fundamentally good.
我要告诉你们 人性本善
The key is, you find that goodness deep within 'em.
关键是 要发现他们内心深处的善良
Twist it,
操纵之
and turn it to your advantage.
为己所用
Hello.
你好
And... there she is.
好了 就是她
What are you gonna hit?
要说些什么
College, balloon payment, greatest dad ever.
大学 气球付款 最好的老爸
Nice. Do you want me to squirt some tears in your eyes?
很好 要挤点眼泪到你眼中吗
Dad, please.
爸 拜托
I was fake crying before I could walk.
我学走路前就会假哭了
How do you think I got out of eating all those salads?
你以为我是怎么摆脱吃沙拉的
Can you help me reach that box of cereal?
你能帮我拿一下那盒麦片吗
Oh, hey. You're Mitzi Roth, right?
嘿 你是米茨·罗斯 是吗
I recognize you from your ads.
我见过你的广告
Smokin', huh?
是不是很性感
I can't believe you got that listing back!
真不敢相信你把代理权拿回来了
- Sweetheart! - Honey!
-宝贝 -亲爱的
- Honey? - Mm-hmm?
-亲爱的 -什么事
Ding?
"顶"
You sure you wanna ding a chatterbox?
你确定要"顶"一个唠叨婆吗
Honey...
亲爱的
Buddy, quick--
小家伙 快
What's the trick to those fake tears?
假哭的窍门是什么
The three stooges are all dead.
想着"活宝三人组"死绝了
Yeah, that's good.
是啊 妙招啊
Well, it looks like somebody likes Coldplay.
看来某人喜欢酷玩乐队
Mm. Right. You saw.
是啊 你看见了
Did you see the pictures I posted from thanksgiving?
你们有看到我发的感恩节照片吗
Totes adorbs.
灰常可耐
I'm going to kill myself.
我想死了算了
You gotta check out my wall. Right there.
你得看我的留言板 这里
"Spring break, 1990, New Orleans."
1990年春假 新奥尔良
Is that you?
那是你吗
What?
什么
Some guy from your college tagged you in a picture.
你大学同学在照片中把你圈了
What is "Tagging"? What is "Tagging"?
什么叫圈了 什么叫圈了
Why are drinking out of a funnel?
你为什么用漏斗喝酒
Why there's a hand...
为什么会有只手...
Ok, untag it.
好了 取消圈人
Untag it.
快取消
Girls, I'm serious, untag it.
姑娘们 我说正经的 快取消圈人
Turn down the wall.
把留言板拆了